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Mystic Meg's predictions for <a.c.f.> 2008
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From: Mystic Meg <mystic....@starflutecommand.com>
Newsgroups: alt.comp.freeware
Subject: Mystic Meg's predictions for <a.c.f.> 2008
Date: Sat, 22 Dec 2007 09:52:34 -0600
Organization: Mystic Meg's starry-eyed bonzo club
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......in the order that The Stars revealed them to me........
badgolferman--will finally learn how to hit his balls and understand
what 'chronological order' means.
elaich--will have a terrible accident one day when demonstrating
the latest model of environmental vacuum cleaner to a customer.
He will get sucked up the pipe and shredded, and that'll be the
last anybody sees of him.
Franklin--his well known personality disorder will continue in 2008
and will finally be diagnosed as the Climorphic condition of
Tourette's Syndrome: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinomorphism .
It will be dealt with in the second or third quarter when his family
and friends become so fed up with his senseless babbling, incessant
lies, obsession with perverted sex and identity problems, they will
collect the money required for him to have a full frontal lobotomy:
>http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=full+frontal+lobotomy
Afterwards, Franklin will never be the same again and will be given
a brand new battery-operated random rubbish generator to play with.
Gordon Darling--will eventually reveal himself to be the adopted,
mentally challenged son of the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown
and his political lover Alistair Darling, British Finance Minister.
ms--will finally get one good nights sleep.
Lord Possum--will end up in someone's cooking pot.
Krazee Brenda--will reconcile with her estranged hubby and will
announce reunitedware.
Kat Mandu--will get involved in a horrendous argument with himself
over something or other and disappear through the roof in a shower
of sparks. Next seen in Kathmandu, Nepal behind a cloud of strange
smelling smoke.
Katman/Straight Talk--in accordance with the old maxim:
"All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed,
and third, it is accepted as self-evident"
their views on PFWs will eventually be accepted, but those who
have ridiculed and killfiled them for months will never apologise
because that's not the American way.
»Q«--will get involved in such complicated games of word play,
that his keyboard will seize up.
Yrrah--will stop being nasty and eventually say something nice.
Dan Goodman--will continue to post endless one-worders "Thanks"
followed by a seven line signature. John Corliss will eventually get
so foamed up by it that he will attack Dan with crude abuse.
Dan will then quietly disappear off a.c.f. like so many others have
before him over the years after being attacked by John Corliss.
Bear Bottoms--will get access to a US Navy Apache attack helicoptor
and wreak havoc on the cult who insult him and undermine the good
work he does on behalf of the freeware community.
Ron May--will continue to suck up to John Corliss and churn out the
most fantastic conspiracy theories which have no basis in fact. He
will eventually disappear up his own ass. R.I.P.
hummingbird--will get piss*d off with Franklin, Ron May and
John Corliss falsely accusing him of being the sporger (and just
about anybody else who posts to a.c.f. anonymously), that he will
decide to install Hipcrime/NewsMaestro to get his own back. a.c.f.
will then frequently disappear under a tsunami of sporge, the like
of which has never been seen, and even smartypants Ron May won't
be able to cope with it, if he hasn't disappeared up his own ass by
then.
iNcReDuLoUs--will finally post something, anything that has to do
with FREEWARE. It will only have taken him seven years to achieve
this milestone.
clueless Lew/Slash--will continue to snipe and make derogatory
comments about Christians, describing them as "Jews who have
gone bad" but will wonder why anti-semitism is on the rise across
the world. As a socialist Democrat, he will continue to delude
himself by asserting that Hitler was a Republican, not a socialist.
Later in the year, his grandfather will urge him to marry a nice
jewish girl, so he will quietly propose to Susan Bugher. If it comes
off, Franklin will be bridesmaid and John Corliss the party clown.
Susan Bugher--will continue to strut her stuff around a.c.f. posting
the occasional "do you love me" threads, but will finally cave in to
commonsense and remove the old pricelessware website URL from
her signature which contains the risk of trojan infection by users.
A name change to High Priestess is indicated for about quarter two.
Meanwhile, she will continue to make personal attacks on others
while posting threads asking others to "be nice to each other".
John Corliss--will be attacked by his pussy rotweiller and will need
repair surgery to his throat and face. The dog won't attack his
balls because he hasn't got any. Later, he will be diagnosed as
suffering from Coprolalia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprolalia
and put on strong medication which will cause him much confusion.
He will finally admit to being what many people have always known:
a Usenet troll and self-appointed fascist netcop who doesn't give
a fcuk what anybody thinks of him. He will buy a new baseball bat
to reduce to pulp, those who disagree with him.
He will begin using his new signature MkII in January or February:
--
John Corliss BullShit 2008. I killfile trolls like Andy Mabbett,
Franklin, Hummingbird, Kayman, coco and proteanthread. Thus, I
never see their messages. Of course I am the biggest troll of all on
ACF but I don't killfile myself because I like to read my own posts
because I am the Leader of the Gang. Some friends call me Gary.
When I say it is nagware, IT IS NAGWARE. I will attack anybody
who disagrees with me and reduce them to pulp, threatening them
with my baseball bat if necessary. That usually works.
I rule this news group by fear, intimidation, abuse and threats.
I like to post long troll threads to start flame wars. It gives me a
great feeling of power. I also run a dirty tricks department which
has served me well for 8 years to intimidate and threaten anybody
who has the balls to disagree with me. Beware of your private e-mail
address because I send them to spammers if you disagree with me.
Because of Googlespam, I use NFilter to block all Google Groups
posts from being displayed in my news reader. I also use it to block
all cross-posted messages and all other messages from all other
sources. I use NFilter to ensure the only messages I see displayed
in my news reader are those from myself and my fans like Ron May
and Franklin and a few tame trolls and troublemakers.
No ad, cd, commercial, cripple, demo, dotnet, nag, share, spy,
time-limited, underware, trial or web wares OR warez for me, please.
"We need another webmaster for the Pricelessware website. Susan
Bugher doesn't adequately believe in defending the definition of
freeware." I wrote this on ACF recently and you should take note:
"I will continue to do as I like and neither you, nor anybody else,
will stop me." So FOAD. TALK TO THE HAND, PUNK.
Here is a list of newsgroups dedicated to me over the last few
years by my many friends on Usenet:
alt.usenet.kooks.john-corliss
alt.blowitoutyourass.john-corliss
alt.i-think.therefore.i-dont.listen-to.john-corliss
alt.pedophile.john-corliss
alt.troll.john-corliss
alt.bonehead.john-corliss
alt.comp.freeware.corliss.controlled.taliban.hell
alt.idiot-savant.without-the.savant-part.john-corliss
alt.turd-burglar.john-corliss
Over and out
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