finding a girlfriend

[Michael Weaver]

Could anyone possibly tell me the steps for setting up a mailinglist?
I ask because the subject says the reason why.
A few weeks ago there was a backlash against me on this and on the
alt.disability newsgroup over me trying to trace an ex girlfriend.
What people are not aware of is that I am having a bloody awful time trying
to find a partner be they Blind or not.
When I was living with my parents in my late teens to fairly early twenties
I was told I couldn't have a girlfriend due to me attending boarding School
and College as I attended New College Worcester and RNC in Hereford, Having
relationships at both these places was near impossible because of a hostile
atmosphere created by certain students and their staff chums in Senior
Management as the principles or head teachers at the time when I attended
those places in the early 1990s to about 1997 were weak and left the
dicipline of bullies to bent Senior Management who were on the side of the
student bullies hence it was impossible to have relationships there.
The person who said I couldn't have a girlfriend who gave the reason for me
attending boarding school ran the youth club near where my parents live.
I mentioned a girl ending up on Heroin trying to fight my corner after what
I experienced at New College and RNC because Senior Management did bugger
all about it and to add to all this my immediate family are not exactly
supportive on the relationship front either while they favour my younger
sister's relationship and she is planning on getting married next July and
has been allowed to live with her boyfriend for weeks while I am still
fighting overbearing people in their teens plus just to get permission to
possibly meet potential partners and the way certain people in the UK treat
my concerns maybe including my dad and mum, they expect me to have to bow
and scrape to these criminals like "Hi mr, Mrs or miss drug dealer, can I
please invite a girlfriend back to my flat so I can discuss a potential
relationship with her" or something along those lines.
I might be being sarcastic when I put this but I think this is certainly
what is going on and that it is being implied including by people in my
immediate family that I am having to seek permission from the kind of people
the police deal with on documentaries such as "Street Crime Uk" to be
allowed to have girlfriends and that if I don't people including my own
parents will back these people instead of me.
I have spoken to the mother of one of the girls who I was told I couldn't
date due to me attending boarding School and College because the mother
works in an upstairs cafe near the bus station in near the town where I
live.
I helped form a group called KVIN (Kirkless Visual Impairment Network) which
covers my local area which was supposed to help people socialise as one of
its aims but it seems like I have attended meetings for months and it has
dropped one thing which should have been covered by the term socialising
which is the one thing it should have helped me over which is this problem
of me finding a partner. I am sure that forming relationships is part of
socialising but other members of the group most of whom have partners anyway
have dropped the socialising aspect which I feel was originally one of the
aims and the role I felt was vital after my experiences of having to
negociate for a girlfriend in a threatening atmosphere, being told I
couldn't have a girlfriend due to attending boarding School and one of the
more recent things to happen was that a partially Sighted girl from Tocester
turned me down to have a relationship with someone else, the excuse being
that we lived too far away from each other yet I am being excluded from
having a girlfriend in Huddersfield where I live including by the group
which was supposed to be run by Blind people around my age and older maybe
as well who to me has lost sight of the socialising aim and replaced it with
all this formal crap of having chairman, vice chairman etc and just go on
saying "you can't have addresses and telephone numbers because of the Data
Protection Act" and stuff about if people had contacts of other group
members they wouldn't get funding so it seems like as at New College
Worcester and RNC, all that matters is money.
Our Vice Chairman who is the content manager for our web pages attended RNC
and he told me that the RNIB don't think about the welfare of students who
are bullied at both places because they see them as worthy investments so
our Vice Chairman knows there is a problem yet I am still told that forming
relationships is not a KVIN matter.
Originally two elderly ladies, a Blind lady and her carer set up the group
originally and we had discussions which included socialising but now the
group split into two groups, BFB (Beetter Future for the Blind) and KVIN,
the part I am with due to some people rowing in the group I think most of
the socialising which should in theory have sorted out my problems with the
bad atmosphere over my personal life has been dropped in favour of IT
training which a lot of it is covered by BCAB anyway and I don't need IT
training as I am someone who is fairly knowledgable with computers anyway
and the group was even against the idea of teaching Linux which members of
Hudlug were going to help with until it disbanded due to the main drivers of
the group ending up living in places like Leeds.
I am getting really disilusioned over having a personal life in the UK due
to people being on my back if I try to meet someone and finding groups
supposedly set up for the aims of socialising decide to exclude forming
relationships.
There is one organisation called "Outsiders" which is supposed to be dealing
with this kind of issue but that has most of their social dos in London and
I have only had one girl from this group call me on the phone and she has
only called to speak to me once and it seems like she is totally absorbed by
her studies so doesn't have time for me anyway. She lives down London and is
confined to a wheelchair I think and there was a bit of a communication
problem which she thought was due to having a resperator but I think it
might have been her accent, she didn't sound English by her accent and her
name isn't an English name.
I paid 10 quid membership which ironically was the one thing my dad has done
as regards me having a girlfriend as he wrote the cheque after I paid him
the money for my Outsiders membership and still nothing.
Huddersfield used to have a project within Scope called "The Vessel project"
where someone was employed to take someone else out and it covered both
people with Cerebral Palsey and people who were Blind and I used that
service a few years ago to be able to do stuff like Swimming and that
project wound up due to lack of funding.
I am getting threats from criminals in and around their teens to mid
thirties over me dating someone, My family are acting like they are speaking
for these criminals and trying to run my relationships which them and the
criminals have this thing in common even though I am 32 and groups set up
with the aim of socialising are telling me I can't have relationships even
within the bloody groups which is getting me down.
The two worst things that can happen to people in relationships are one
person in the relationship dying of either an illness, murder or sucide and
the second worst thing is someone's potential relationshi being ruined by
drug dealers and their ilegal drugs and I can certainly say both these worst
things have happened to me because as well as losing a potential girlfriend
and someone I once thought as an ally over me being bullied to class A
drugs, the first person who could have been my first girlfriend who was a
day older than me who I hung around with a lot at Tapton Mount didn't live
past her 7th Birthday because she died of Cervical Cancer.
I say this girl who died could have been my first girlfriend because I saw
her mother before Tapton Mount closed and her Mother said she had photos of
us kissing and she might have still got the tape recordings we did.
There are certain people in the UK, not all but a fairly large number who I
feel despite what I have been through are totally insensative to my feelings
despite my loss of a potential partner to drugs and despite Michelle
Whittam's death.
even Micheele Whittam's mate who went to see her in her final days of life
because this girl was on a mobility lesson at the time, this girl claiming
to have worked for the Samaritans who I believe was on "Intouch" recently
talking about Audio books told me to "get Lost."
This so called friend of Michelle Whittam's like myself was also a Tapton
Mount student. as a student older than me she should have treated me better
and she should have set an example for me to look up to.
If there were such thing as the Supernatural, Michelle Whittam would turn in
her grave if she knew my potential girlfriends in the UK were being
encouraged to string me along and that her so called friend had told me to
get lost.
I have been in contact with "the Jeremy Kyle" show things have got that bad
over my relationships and I have named certain individuals including
potential girlfriends who verbally claimed I could trust them in private but
who allowed people to menace me in public, a New College and RNC form of
bullying where my safety was traded by certain girls so they could have sex
with other guys which was the thing being looked into by the girl I lost as
a girlfriend to drugs.
I have one female friend who I have known since she was 19. She is a year
younger than my 29 year old sister. The problem is she is even more scared
of these over bareing 16 to mid 30 criminals than me. She is Dyslexic and
her 41 year old friend who is the only outspoken person I trust at the
moment who has threatened to retalite over what has been going on in my
relationships also has some learning disability which might be more serious
than Dyslexia because of the sway she talks. This mate of my mate is the
only person with a big mouth who I have any trust with because I don't trust
anyone in their teens going up to my age of 32 and maybe slightly beyond
with a big mouth as these people are the problem. My friend's friend who is
41 is Life Insurence until I get a caring girlfriend because she was brought
up in foster care. The people in their teens to mid thirties who are
deliberately crossing me over my personal life, some of them have told me
they don't give a shit about what people think of them or if they physically
hurt me or my potential girlfriends and this 41 year old I know through my
mate is the only person I know with a personality to match who is the only
person on that level who also says she doesn't give a shit about what people
think who is on the side of the underdog, me and her 29 year old friend who
is too scared to date me herself.
While these social groups are not offering anything which might lead to a
relationship apart from maybe Outsiders which produces a tape list of
members contact details every few months or so I feel like going it alone
and setting up some kind of mailinglist where people can obtain information
for socialising which might lead to relationships, a group which is badly
needed in the UK with all the obstruction and criminality going on
especially after my own experiences but there are two problems.
1 I don't know how to go about setting up such a mailing list or even a
site. I did have a website but BT stopped using Geocities for free site
hosting so I wouldn't know what place to host a site on if it were to be a
web site.
2 As I said going it alone I think I mean it literally because I will have
no backing from other people and I don't have the influence unlike those
ruining my relationships to be able to pull together such a project.
My boss where I do voluntary work suggested I did this but it is just I
don't have what it takes mentally to be able to pull a project together even
if I could launch a mailinglist or a website where the group could pass
contact details among members.
Outsiders have talked about something of the kind in their magazine saying
that people could set up their own Outsiders outside London. People barely
listen to me when I have felt in danger over my potential relationships so
why should people listen to me over me wanting to form a group which could
lead people to contact each other and maybe lead to loving relationships?
I have seen something on Google for creating a mailinglist but it is nothing
I haven't fully explored.
Maybe someone on this group could advise me if a mailinglist or a site was
the way to go because I am left with verry few options and those include
having the bullies targeting my relationships beaten up by my mate's mate or
appearing on something like "Jeremy Kyle."

[Brian Gaff]

I'm not sure what the connection is between this and setting up a mailing
list. However to keep on topic a bit I'd got to somewhere like freelists.org
and set one up there.

One thing to watch though is that you would then be in charge of who was
allowed to join!

On the other hand if you mean like a club , where you send emails to a list
this is pretty easy to do in Outtlook or Outlook Express, but some isps
restrict the number of emails one person can send in a certain time to
prevent spambots from taking over the system and getting the mail server
black listed.
Brian

--
Brian Gaff - bri...@blueyonder.co.uk
Note:- In order to reduce spam, any email without 'Brian Gaff'
in the display name may be lost.
Blind user, so no pictures please!
"Michael Weaver" <michael...@btinternet.com> wrote in message
news:OsOdnYuqUJsSLoHW...@bt.com...

[burt henry]

I hope this is the last time!

On 12/7/2009 1:49 caf�, Michael Weaver wrote:
> Could anyone possibly tell me the steps for setting up a mailinglist?

That is where you should have stopped this msg. It is COMPLETELY off
topic after this point, and so long that I stopped even skimming half
way through,(rough guess as to half)
You were given advice as to other places for this type of discussion,
but you don't seem to understand the nature of this group. On the blind
social group you could talk about these issues if you were to not ramble
on with so many personal details perhaps; maybe a general treatment of
some of the real issues you are concerned about, but this type of post
is inviting the very things you complain about.
Please take heed of what I say. I say it for your benefit and for the
good of this group.
Sincerely,
Burt Henry
"Your outer circumstances are but a reflection of your inner thoughts."
Various
(this Various cat has some good stuff to say, but his uncle Anonymous...)

[Mike Russell]

On Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:32:27 -0600, burt henry wrote:

> Please take heed of what I say. I say it for your benefit and for the
> good of this group.

Exactly - you have a lot of good people here who would like to see you do
well. There is a place for personal details - another person who has
earned your trust, not the Internet. I wish you every success in finding
someone good to love.

Please, for your own sake, consider that people are not out to destroy you
- your life is too important to you to waste in this way.

All the best.
--
Mike Russell