MST3K: Excalibur #113 3/?
Suzene Campos
See part 1 for disclaimer....
Bova: Oh, do let us pass, good Sir Ram. The girl is wounded.
******
Tom (as Sir Ram): And verily, so is my pride, for this dialogue
be-ith a pile of...
Mike: Shut up, Tom.
******
(next panel, Sir Ram has a weapon of sorts pointed at Colossus)
Sir Ram: And wounded she will stay! For by my horns--
******
Kurt: Insert comma after 'for' and 'horns'.
******
Sir Ram: --I recognize her cohort as one of the ENEMY!
******
Kitty: Which is more than I can say for certain blue-furred
team-leaders...
Kurt: I was intoxicated!
Amanda: Well, no one forced you to drink so much.
Kurt: Don't you start, Frau Can-Can!
******
Colossus: "Enemy"?
******
Mike (as Colossus as Scarlett O'Hara): L'il ol' me? Yoah enemy?
******
Colossus cont.: Comrade, please...
(next page, Colossus' hand in the foreground as he turns to
steel. Ram's face in the background)
Colossus: I've never SEEN you before.
******
Amanda: Oh, this is smart. To prove he's not their enemy, he gets
ready to beat the living crap out of the gatekeeper.
Kurt: Did I mention Peter flunked lesson #6? The one on how to introduce
yourself to strange beings in a nonthreatening manner?
******
Sir Ram: What's this? Your skinflesh becomes armor with a single
thought?
******
Tom: Am I the only one that finds this comic repetitive?
Crow: No, actually, I just think it's redundant.
******
(next panel, Sir Ram charging forward and snapping his lance/ax
off against Colossus steel chest)
******
Kurt: Short tempered bunch, aren't they?
******
Sir Ram: Such trickery shan't spare you the wrath of a KNIGHT OF
WUNDAGORE! It is my life's charge to protect this sacred mountain
from all who would dare usurp its ancient mysteries.
******
Kitty (as Sir Ram): And the Creator has promised me a very large
noodle-lashing should I fail!
Mike: What kind of mysteries do you suppose they have in there?
Amanda: Oh, you know, the usual. Alien autopsies, who shot JFK, how do
they cram all that gram, who actually eats Cream of Artichoke soup...
******
(face shot of a snarling Sir Ram)
Sir Ram: And by the Creator--
******
Kurt: Who had enough imagination to build Wundagore, but not to
buy a book of baby-names.
******
Sir Ram cont.: --YOU SHALL NOT HAVE THEM!
******
Crow: GEEZ! OK, keep your rotten old mysteries! I'm going home!
******
(next panel, Colossus delivers a powerful blow to Sir Ram. Sound
effect: KROM)
******
Amanda: (sigh) And here we have the start of the obligatory fight
scene.
Kurt: A simple must in all better comics.
Kitty: Heck, who wants to spend all that time developing
characters anyway?
*******
Colossus (thinking): "Wundagore"... why do I KNOW that name?
*******
Crow: Because they just told you about it?
******
Colossus: Tovarish, I know not who you assume me to be--
(next page, first panel, Colossus picking up Sir Ram)
--but I am NOT your enemy.
******
Mike: That's right. He's only beating you up because he cares!
******
Sir Ram: LIAR! You are an Acolyte-- one of the vile Exodus's
loathsome brood.
******
Kurt: Yet another satisfied reader of the Magneto LS.
Kitty: Which, incidentally, on the first page showed a map on a computer
screen with the Atlantic ocean off the *west* coast of South America.
Tom: If you ask why there was such a blatant mistake made in a-- ahem--
reputable comic, they'll just say the transparency got put in backwards
or something.
Amanda: Remove the second "s" from Exodus.
******
(next panel, Colossus tossing Sir Ram around like a football)
Colossus: Hate to disappoint you, Sir Ram, but you have confused
the man I am now with the man I once was.
******
Amanda: Yes, he used to beat people up because he was jealous or
had head trauma. Now he's doing it to impress Meggan.
******
(next panel, Sir Ram lands on his ass in a snowbank with a FUMP)
Sir Ram: But you DID serve that hateful monster!
******
Crow: I know you did! You did, you did, you did!
******
Sir Ram cont.: I saw your image in the Creator's picture boxes!
******
Mike: Say it with us... T. V. T. V. TV.
******
(next panel, Colossus giving Sir Ram a hand out of the snow)
Colossus: As I said... that was past history.
******
Kitty: Since when does Raab care about that?!
******
Colossus cont.: I serve no man but myself now. But if Exodus
threatens the sanctity of your home as you say-- I would be
honored to stand beside you against him.
******
Amanda: Does this mean that yonder compulsive joiner will be
leaving the team (I hope, I hope, I hope)?
Kitty: Well, let's see... he was an X-Man. He lost his memory and
joined the world of modern art and Callisto. He got what passes
for his mind back and rejoined the X-Men. He left the X-Men again
and joined Magneto and the Acolytes. He eventually plummeted back
to Earth and bummed around with Callisto again. Then he joined
Excalibur. Now he's petitioning for acceptance into Wundagore. If
pattern holds true, he should stay there for three issues and
join X-Force.
Kurt: No such luck, I'm afraid. He'll just get to play toy
soldier for a bit.
******
Sir Ram: Your soul is as noble as your arm is strong, metal man.
******
Mike: Does anyone have an air-sickness bag?
Tom: Wait, wait, wait. He just beat the crap out of the sheep-guy
and now they're friends?
Kitty: Ah, the subtle workings of the mind of the Raab.
Mike: I'd really like that puke-bag now...
******
(next panel, Ram scratching Meggan on the head while Colossus
stands in the background and looks stupid)
******
Amanda: Shouldn't they save that scene so that wolf-girl can take
off someone's arm?
Tom: I wonder if her leg'll start twitching...
******
Sir Ram: You will be a great asset to our cause. But tell me--
what good will this little minx do us in battle?
******
Kurt: Well, if she removed her costume the enemy would drown in
their own drool.
Tom: Heh...
Amanda: WHAT was that?
Kurt: Um... nothing?
Amanda: You have seen "Lysistrata", haven't you, Kurt?
Kurt: All right, all right! I'll make no more jokes about
elementals or their bra size.
Kitty (sarcastically): Think you can make that leash any shorter,
Amanda?
******
(next panel, front-view of Meggan's face and outspread hands. Her
bottom lip is roughly three times the size of her upper)
******
Kitty: I think Amanda was right about the Novocain.
******
Meggan: "What good"...? "WHAT GOOD"???
******
Tom: Battle stations, men! We have an elemental on the rag!
Kitty: Is it considered rude to kill the host of a show you're
guest-starring on?
Tom: YES!
Kurt: Actually, where we come from, it's mandatory for all major
cross-overs.
Kitty: Works for me.
(Kitty chases Tom Servo out of the movie theater)
******
Meggan cont.: I'll show you "What good" I can be-- you
horn-headed, fur-faced, macho-mannered--
******
Amanda: Offspring of Sasquatch and Darkchilde!
(Kitty enters the theater again. Tom follows, with a shoe now
phased into his fishbowl-like head)
Crow (whispering): Guys, is it just me, or are we being upstaged?
******
(next panel, Sir Ram rising into the air)
Meggan: --GOAT!!
(sound effect: WHOOOOOSH!)
(next panel, Sir Ram being lifted up into the air to hang from a
tower)
Sir Ram: Strewth! I am lofted on high by a windy gust where there
once was none, all because the girl wills it so?!
******
Kitty: Anyone else beginning to sense a pattern here?
Kurt: Oh, please. Allow me. The story starts. The characters
crack weak jokes in accents that are, at best, sporadic. Generic
threat, usually involving an explosion of some sort, pops up and
everyone rushes off to help. Battle ensues, in which Excalibur's
team-members explain... or have someone else explain... their
powers repeatedly before eventually taking out the threat.
Someone becomes depressed or dies. Pod-Wisdom makes an ass out of
himself. The comic ends and it all happens again in 30 days.
Tom: You know, I'm starting to feel a lot better about my life.
******
(next panel, Sir Ram still hanging from the tower)
Sir Ram: Right. Like I said-- she ought to do just fine.
Um...er... would you mind helping me down?
******
Crow: It's time for everyone's favorite game, Find That Accent!
Kitty: Raab is under the impression that everyone in the world is
speaking with a false accent and reverts to their natural English
in times of great stress.
Kurt: Except Rory, who seems to revert to Australian for some reason.
******
(next page, first panel, side-view of a prestigious-looking
building)
Voice-over box: Kassel, Germany--
******
Crow (singing): Oh give me a home, where the sauerkraut roams, and
the
bratwurst and the Neo-Nazis play...
(Amanda sends a rather large jolt of mystic energy Crow's way)
Kurt: Danke, liebchen.
Tom: Oh, how I love the smell of frying circuit boards in the
morning.
******
Voice-over cont.: The Documenta Art Archives. Every five years,
the modern art masterpieces stored within these hallowed walls
are taken out and put on public display.
******
Mike: And most of them come back in covered with baby boogers and
cigarette burns, but no one seems to notice the difference.
Amanda: Actually, it probably improves the aesthetic value of
most pieces.
******
(next panel, Pete Wisdom, chained to a column inside of the
Documenta, with a video camera trained on him)
******
Kitty: What the frag...?! That wasn't in this month's script!!
Kurt: There was a last-minute re-write...
Mike: ...and, like you said, the writer REALLY doesn't like this
guy.
Kitty: You're no help. Amanda, I'll give you a dragon skin if you
bring me Raab's head on a platter!
Amanda (considering): Fresh or shed?
Kitty: Shed! I'm not going to skin Lockheed for you or Pete!
Amanda: Sorry. Shed skins aren't good for much except coffee...
Kurt: Not another word. I don't wish to be driven to seeking out
Moira's concoction on purpose!
******
Voice over cont.: Some works are bizarre... others absurd...
******
Kurt: Like this comic's existence...
******
Voice over cont.: But to the ever-critical eyes of "avant garde
society" they are all expressions of genius.
******
(collective snort from the audience)
******
Voice over cont.: Which begs the question "What about the art of
torture?" Does it not merit such praise when executed by a
master whose deftness in the ways of pain ins conveyed through
the agony of his victim?
******
Tom: Anyone else get the feeling that this guy doesn't know what
the hell he's talking about?
Kurt: Ja, we've known that since last month.
Kitty & Amanda: You're JUST realizing that?!
*******
Voice over cont.: The "victim" of this particular piece might beg
to differ.
******
Crow: If he was conscious...
******
(next panel, Pete Wisdom wakes up)
Voice over: Then again, former spy, Pete Wisdom...
******
Kurt: Subtract comma.
Amanda: Enter coma.
Mike: And escape from it all.
******
Voice over cont.: ...never begs for anything. Not even his life.
******
Tom: His clone, however, whimpers, whines like a baby, and wets
himself in fear at the thought of physical pain.
Kitty (happily): That's right! This is just the pod-person.
Thanks for reminding me.
(Takes the shoe out of Tom's head in gratitude)
******
Pete: Uhh... where am I?
******
All (singing): "...we wish to welcome you to Munch-kin
laaaaaand!"
Kitty: Ugh... that left a bad taste in my mouth.
******
(next panel, close-up of Pete's battered face)
Pete (thinking): Last thing I remember was gettin' lectured by
Nightcrawler about bein' a team player...
******
Kurt: And that was obviously a waste of breath.
******
Pete cont.: ...wait-- where IS Wagner..?
******
Mike: Sitting pretty on the SOL with half of his face-fur ripped
off.
Kurt: Halt die Klappe, Herr Nelson. (grins at Amanda) Did I thank
you
for getting me out of that awful scene?
Amanda: No, I don't think so.
Kurt: I've missed you, liebchen...
(they embrace and roll onto the floor)
Kitty: How... sweet.
Crow: Should I go get another bucket?
Mike: Just throw a blanket over them and let's get this over
with.
******
Pete (out loud): 'Crawler... you there?
(next panel, extreme close-up on Wisdom's eyes)
Off-panel: LOOKING FOR YOUR FRIEND? YOU WON'T FIND HIM HERE.
******
(Nightcrawler's head pops up)
Kurt: Was? I heard my name.
Amanda: Later...
(...and pulls him back down)
******
Pete: Nice vox filter, girl-- but ya can't fool me.
******
Crow (as the pod-Pete): I know that yer really just Kitty playing
out another one of her little fantasies. Are ya goin' t'wear the
heels this time?
Kitty: I have another shoe, and I'm not afraid to use it!
******
(next page, first panel, close up on Pete)
Off-sides: Yer hearing's as acute as ever ol' Codger.
******
Mike: Yet another missing comma.
Crow: Pete has a thing for younger women, doesn't he? Wait...
Kitty... I was just... ARRRRRRRGH!
Tom: Well, that'll leave a mark.
Mike: Alas, Crow... we knew him well.
Tom: Much better than we wanted to.
(Tom shoves Crow out of the chair and lets his inert body hit the
floor)
******
Pete: Then why not step into the light so I can get a better look
at'cha?
Off-sides: Cor, Pete-- I'm insulted!
******
Kitty: So's anyone with an actual English accent who reads this
comic.
******
(next panel, Pete looking off to the side)
Off-sides: Ya used t'be able t'see me wif yer eyes closed--
that's how well ya knew me!
******
(Kurt gets back into his seat and Amanda perches on his lap. Crow
drags himself up into the vacant seat, hampered by the sneaker
phased into his chest)
Amanda: Oh, that last statement made sense much, like.
Mike: Es-yay.
Kitty: As clear as paint.
******
Pete: Yeah, well-- out o' sight... out o' mind. But I see yer
still as cagey a bird as ever. Still doin' that VANISHIN' trick
o' yers... "HIDIN' IN PLAIN SIGHT" an' such.
*****
Tom: Here we go with that bird obsession again.
Kurt: Perhaps his mother was frightened by a pigeon while
expecting.
******
(next panel, Pete looking ahead again)
Pete: Just quit muckin' about, St. Hubbins-- and tell me wot's
goin' down.
******
Kitty: At last! I have a name and I shall have vengeance on the
Raab creation! Peckman St. Hubbins... great, now I just feel
sorry for her.
Mike: Berkeley Breathed just got bumped into second place in
the Stupid Names listing.
Tom: So that Campos chick is in third now?
******
Pete cont.: Wot's this thing on my neck?
******
Kurt: Mein Gott! She gave the poor man a hickey!
(bots snicker)
******
(next panel, woman with a big gun, ear-, navel- and two
eyebrow-rings, short-cropped blonde hair. Dressed in a red
t-shirt, spandex pants, and boots. And a trenchcoat)
******
Tom: Shawn Colvin!
Kitty: I am NOT singing "Sunnie Came Home" and you can't make me!
Kurt: Considering the setting, perhaps "You and the Mona Lisa"
would be more appropriate.
Kitty: NO!
******
Peckman: My, my, my...
******
Crow: Oh, my, my, my...
Amanda: Ewwwwwwwwww!
Crow and Amanda (a la Animaniacs): Oh, the humanity!
******
Peckman cont.: Yer memory sure is getting dodgy in yer old age,
Petey.
*******
Mike: "Petey?"
Kitty: OK, I hate her again.
******
Peckman cont.: I'll just leave that up t'you t'figger out. And...
******
Kitty: I can't believe it...
Kurt: A character with an English accent was allowed to pronounce
a "D"!
Amanda: Next thing you know, Gambit will be using his "TH"'s.
Crow: So, is this like the Apocalypse for you guys or what?
All Excalians: DON'T SAY THAT NAME!!!
Kitty: Do you want to see the AOA redux?!
******
Peckman cont.: ...seein' as how ya ain't goin' nowhere, I might
as well tell ya, luv.
******
Kurt (yawning): Remove the period, insert ellipses or dashes.
*******
Peckman cont.: Yer gonna die-- and I'm your EXECUTIONER!
*******
Crow: Well, I guess it's better than being his gal Friday.
Kitty: And maybe if he dies, we can have the real Pete back.
Amanda: We suspect he's being held in the same vault with the
missing pages to issue 90.
******
(next page, first panel, Pete Wisdom's tied hands, with
"hot-knives" glowing at the end of them)
******
Kurt: You know, when Ellis was still around, we could see entire
issues go by without Pete once using those verdammt things.
Kitty: Furthermore, that was on purpose! Pete doesn't *like* using his
powers, remember?
Tom: And now?
Kitty: Now, he uses them at least once per page he appears on and
the effect looks like he has over-ripe bananas growing from his
fingers.
******
Pete: Get over yourself, girl. Me "HOT KNIVES" can melt these
chains to slag in seconds.
******
Mike: Good pod-person... explain your plans to the NICE
psychotic. Atta boy.
******
Peckman: Think so? Give it a go, then...
(next panel, Pete enveloped in electricity)
Pete: AARGH!
******
Tom: Anyone got any marshmallows?
Crow & Mike (chanting gleefully): Weenie roast, weenie roast!
******
(next panel, Peckman patting Pete on the head. A drop of
flesh-colored sweat drips off of Pete's face)
******
Amanda (as the Wicked Witch of the West): ARRRGH! I'm melting!
Melting! Oh, whatta world...
Crow: How apropos.
(Crow gets zapped yet again)
******
Peckman: Neural inhibitor.
Pete: Fries...
******
Kurt: ... coke, a milkshake, and a BLT. And give it wings!
******
Pete cont.: ...mutant's nervous system... whenever one uses their
power...
******
Kitty: Really? We never would have guessed.
Tom: Now, now. I'm sure all of the first-time readers enjoy being
walked through and patronized.
Mike: After all, thinking is SO over-rated.
******
(next panel, close up on Pete's sweaty face)
******
Kitty? See? His entire genetic structure is breaking down. Two
issues down the line, he'll be a puddle on the floor.
Crow: Too bad they'll just make another one.
******
Pete: But that's top clearance, special issue hardware...
******
Mike: Duh... it's hard to get, too.
******
Pete cont.: --only for use by the U.S. government mutant group
X-Factor...
******
Kurt: Who are quite busy suffering through problems with their
own writer, so we won't bother them.
Amanda: Aw, doesn't widdle Kurtums wanna see his mommy?
Kurt: Liebchen, do not tread there.
Amanda: But I've never even met her!
Kurt: Four words: Margali. Raab. Plot-device.
Amanda: I'll be good. For real this time.
******
Pete cont.: ...or...
******
Crow: Drumroll, please!
******
Pete cont.: Black Air!
(next panel, Peckman pulling the waistline of her pants down to
reveal a Black Air tattoo)
******
(bots growling and doing cat-calls)
Crow: Take it off, baby!
******
Peckman: Bingo.
(next page, close up on Pete's face)
Pete: No... not again...
******
Kitty: They've done this before?!
Mike: Talk about a dysfunctional relationship!
******
Voice over box: And as Pete Wisdom realizes there's a nasty storm
a'brewin' on the horizon for him and his mates...
******
Amanda: Terrific. Now Raab thinks he's a pirate.
Crow: Mental stability has never been a trait Marvel encourages
in its writers.
Tom: Sorry, Pryde, but I can't help myself... "Storm warning...
feels like a heavy rain..."
Kitty: As long as I don't have to sing, I don't care.
******
(next page, first panel, inside of Wundagore lots of
animal-headed people are running around. Most prominent are the
lizard-ugly from the cover and a grizzly-lady)
******
Mike: Beany-babies unite!
******
Voice over box: ...the assembled knights of Wundagore prepare for
a tempest of their own under the guidance of the reptilian Lord
Gator and the grizzly Lady Ursula!
******
Kitty: How nice. A superficial female character.
Amanda: Just like Moira and Meggan and Rahne...
******
Lord Gator: Well, Delphis-- are all of your protective wards in
place?
******
Kurt (as Delphis): Let me see... cup, helmet, jock strap. Yes, I
think so.
******
(next panel, Lord Gator talking to the hologram of a noseless
male with blue-gray skin)
******
Tom: Michael Jackson's latest nose-job gone horribly wrong...
******
Lord Delphis: For NOW-- but I don't know how long they'll hold!
(next panel, close up on Delphis' face)
Lord Delphis: In all our years, we've never faced a foe as
deadly as Exodus!
******
Amanda: Except for that thing that's growing under the fridge and
Bova's anthrax.
******
Lord Delphis cont.: He ought to prove a most satisfying
challenge. I, for one, look forward to testing his mettle.
(next panel, Lord Gator talking over his shoulder to Ursula as
Delphis' hologram fades out)
Lady Ursula: That's because you won't be fighting on the front
lines.
Lord Gator: Easy, Ursula.
******
Crow (as Lord Gator): You know you'll be cowering in here with
the rest of us.
******
Lord Gator cont.: Wait-- what's this..?
******
Kurt: Those of us in the outside world call them shoulders.
******
(next panel, Sir Ram throws open the door and strides in.
Colossus, Meggan, and Bova are over his shoulder grinning like
fools)
Lord Gator: Has Sir Ram lost his mind?!
******
Tom: Well, it happens if you hang around Tinfoil-lad too long.
First Lobdell, then Exodus, then Brian and Meggan, and now
sheep-boy.
Kitty: Word association: Asbestos/lung-cancer. Colossus/insanity.
******
Sir Ram: Well met, fellow warriors! Behold!
******
Crow (as Sir Ram): For I bring into our midst a great traitor!
******
Sir Ram cont.: I have won allies to our cause and brought
reinforcements!
******
Mike: I got more people to fight for us, too.
******
(next panel, Lord Gator eyeing Colossus. The 'gator ain't happy.)
Lord Gator: Imbecile! You've butted your head so many times
you've knocked all of the sense out of it! Grrrrr.
******
Tom: Hey! How does he know what the Russian's been doing?
******
(next panel, Sir Ram steps between Gator and Colossus)
Sir Ram: No, Gator! This one has renounced his covenant with
Exodus!
******
Kitty: Hopefully, these guys aren't as trusting as the X-Men.
Kurt: Ah, yes. The Sabretooth Syndrome. Take the wolf into the
fold deliberately.
Tom: And if he tries to kill someone, send him to another team so
he can do it again.
******
Sir Ram cont.: He and his flaxen-haired companion have pledged
their allegiance to us for the coming battle!
******
Amanda: But odds are someone on the other team will tell him that
they can make his life all better and he'll turn around and join
them.
******
(next panel, Gator and Colossus staring each other down again)
Lord Gator: And the serpent hides itself innocently among blades
of grass before striking its prey. How do we know that you've not
led a viper into our midst?!
******
Kitty: Finally! Someone that hasn't started popping stupid pills!
******
Colossus: Because you have my word.
******
(everyone falls over laughing)
******
Colossus cont.: I will tell you precisely how Exodus would storm
a tower such as this. First, he--
(next panel, everyone looking off to the left)
Off-panel voice: That will not be necessary, X-Man.
******
Crow: Wrong comic!
******
Sir Ram and Lord Gator: The Creator Speaks!
******
Kurt: And if he has any sense, he'll say to toss the mad-man out
on his ear.
******
Voice over: It is a voice from the past which Piotr Rasputin well
remembers...
******
Mike (as Ronald Reagan): Nancy?
******
(next panel, dramatic close up on Colossus)
Voice over: ...but never expected to hear again.
Colossus: BOZHE MOI!? YOU?
******
Crow: "Moi?" The metal-head is a Frenchie!! DIE, SNAIL EATER!!!
TIFFER003
>Ram: LIAR! You are an Acolyte-- one of the vile Exodus's
>loathsome brood.
SNIP!
>Amanda: Remove the second "s" from Exodus.
The author of this MST3K said the above, but I'm too lazy to look it up.
Actually, the second "S" is only omited when used as the plural form of a word,
i.e., you wouldn't say Exoduses's. However, we're only talking about one Exodus
here, which means, according to the very first rule found in William Strunk
Jr.'s the Elements Of Style, you should (this is a rough quotation) "form the
singular possessive form of a noun with a 's."
This is regardless of last letters. If yer goin' t' be nit- picking grammar, at
least nit- pick the correct grammar.
Not that I am really one to be talking about grammar, but GEEZ!
Tom Russell aka REVEIW MAN
"No one leaves until the booze has been safely taken off the ship!"
- Drunken female alien Captain who looks male,
PROJECT "A" KO
Homepages coming soon!
Alan Lewis Sauer
TIFFER003 wrote:
: >Ram: LIAR! You are an Acolyte-- one of the vile Exodus's
: >loathsome brood.
: SNIP!
: >Amanda: Remove the second "s" from Exodus.
: The author of this MST3K said the above, but I'm too lazy to look it up.
That's okay, I'm also too lazy to look things up at the moment.
: Actually, the second "S" is only omited when used as the plural form of
: a word, i.e., you wouldn't say Exoduses's. However, we're only talking
: about one Exodus here, which means, according to the very first rule
: found in William Strunk Jr.'s the Elements Of Style, you should (this is
: a rough quotation) "form the singular possessive form of a noun with a
: 's."
: This is regardless of last letters. If yer goin' t' be nit- picking
: grammar, at least nit- pick the correct grammar.
Are you absolutely sure it's regardless of last letters? I've seen,
for example, "Jesus'" more than once. Hang on, I'm in the writing
center anyway, I'm probably only ten feet away from a style manual.
Huh, what do you know, you're right. Except in cases where the
following word begins with "s." Well, I'll have to remember that.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Alan Sauer als...@bingen.cs.csbsju.edu
"To follow knowledge, like a sinking star,/Beyond the utmost bound
of human thought." -- from "Ulysses," by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
i...@durham.wire.co.uk
Alan Lewis Sauer <als...@csbsju.edu> wrote:
> TIFFER003 wrote:
> : >Ram: LIAR! You are an Acolyte-- one of the vile Exodus's
> : >loathsome brood.
> : SNIP!
> : >Amanda: Remove the second "s" from Exodus.
> : Actually, the second "S" is only omited when used as the plural form of
> : a word, i.e., you wouldn't say Exoduses's. However, we're only talking
> : about one Exodus here, which means, according to the very first rule
> : found in William Strunk Jr.'s the Elements Of Style, you should (this is
> : a rough quotation) "form the singular possessive form of a noun with a
> : 's."
> Are you absolutely sure it's regardless of last letters? I've seen,
> for example, "Jesus'" more than once. Hang on, I'm in the writing
> center anyway, I'm probably only ten feet away from a style manual.
Just to offer yet another view on this one -
The grammar book I follow is written by Keith Waterhouse - not an
expert on grammar in the traditional sense but still a bloody good writer.
Throughout the book (English, and how to sing it) he brings up the point that
although there are correct rules of grammar, some dating back a loooong time,
there are also a whole set of adoopted conventions in use at any given time.
In this case it is correct to form the possesive of a noun with 's
whether the noun ends in an 's' or not - however it is adopted convention
with most writers at the moment to lose the last 's' when the noun does
end in an 's'. Hence Jesus' whatever. While this may not be strictly accurate
in accordance with many of the traditional books on grammar it is certainly
an accepted convention, and one that is definitely in widespread use.
I use it all the time, and no-one complained so far...=)
Phil - first day of snow today! YAY!
--
**********************************
Phil Foster | i...@wire.co.uk
"Moines a pint a scrumpy!"
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7746
**********************************
RudeJohn
And lo, the ants foraged when tiff...@aol.com (TIFFER003) had
written:
...snip...
> This is regardless of last letters. If yer goin' t' be nit- picking grammar, at
> least nit- pick the correct grammar.
> Not that I am really one to be talking about grammar, but GEEZ!
> Tom Russell aka REVEIW MAN
Okay, I'm picking a nit. It's "REVIEW."
Oh, and "nitpick" is NOT hyphenated. Ever. Period.
So let it be written, so let it be done!
GEEZ! <g>
...snip...
C'ya,
RudeJohn (being silly, but enjoying it anyway)
"By eliminating editors, our networks demonstrate their importance.
There are plenty of writers on the Usenet, but few editors. It shows"
-- from "Silicon Snake Oil" by Clifford Stoll
"...there are better ways than bashing us over the head with it."
-- Phil Foster
queenB
> > : >loathsome brood.
> > : SNIP!
> > : >Amanda: Remove the second "s" from Exodus.
>
> > : Actually, the second "S" is only omited when used as the plural form of
> > : a word, i.e., you wouldn't say Exoduses's. However, we're only talking
> > : about one Exodus here, which means, according to the very first rule
> > : found in William Strunk Jr.'s the Elements Of Style, you should (this is
> > : a rough quotation) "form the singular possessive form of a noun with a
> > : 's."
>
> > Are you absolutely sure it's regardless of last letters? I've seen,
> > for example, "Jesus'" more than once. Hang on, I'm in the writing
> > center anyway, I'm probably only ten feet away from a style manual.
>
> Just to offer yet another view on this one -
>
> The grammar book I follow is written by Keith Waterhouse - not an
> expert on grammar in the traditional sense but still a bloody good writer.
> Throughout the book (English, and how to sing it) he brings up the point that
> although there are correct rules of grammar, some dating back a loooong time,
> there are also a whole set of adoopted conventions in use at any given time.
>
> In this case it is correct to form the possesive of a noun with 's
> whether the noun ends in an 's' or not - however it is adopted convention
> with most writers at the moment to lose the last 's' when the noun does
> end in an 's'. Hence Jesus' whatever. While this may not be strictly accurate
> in accordance with many of the traditional books on grammar it is certainly
> an accepted convention, and one that is definitely in widespread use.
I shall proceed to remove my nose from the end-of-the-semester
grindstone and stick it into this thread... as it is what I do best. Ha!
Knew the degree would come in handy someday!
Anyways. I agree that some people nowadays are dropping the extra "s"
after the apostrophe... but it could cause some confusion. Since it is
proper to drop the "s" in plural words ending in "s", it could cause
some people to believe the word that is a possesive is plural and not
singular... not to mention what it would do to you if you're using
something like "grammatik" (which is evil, btw). I say you're best bet
is to stick with the extra "s", just to be proper and concise. But then
again, I'm a stickler ever since I wrote that paper on W.B. Yeats
dropping the "s" after the apostrophy, oh about 20 times, and getting
totally pummeled by my Professor.
Just some extra purely "academic" sources to add to the ones mentioned
above.
From the _MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers, 3rd edition_ (p.
39): "To form the possesive of a singular noun, add an apostrophe and an
_s_... All singular proper nouns, including the names of persons and
places, form their possesives in the same manner (Mars's wrath, Camus's
Novel, Kansas's weather...)"
And one more, just for good measure, from _The St. Martin's Handbook,
Second Edition_ (p. 468): "Add an apostrophe and -s to form the
possessive of most singluar nouns, including those that end in -s..."
>
> I use it all the time, and no-one complained so far...=)
Well, I am, right now! Just kidding, I really don't care. Who cares
about being proper, anyway? :) But then again... if we don't follow the
basic rules of grammar (not that this one is basic, it's kind in the
"weird rules" catagory if you ask me) our work will look like crap and
not be understandable. My policy? If you know it, use it. But you won't
see me griping at anyone for forgetting a "s" here or there.
Okay, back to my grindstone... see you folks later. I'll have some new
work to post mid-way through December. I've got a Subreality Cafe story
and another part of "Undercloak" almost ready if anyone's been missing
it. Hmm... Has anybody? Nah. Never! :)
Coffee, must have coffee!
queenB
--
"Me? Lady, I'm your worst nightmare -- a pumpkin with a gun."
Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Sandman: The Kindly Ones