Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss
Re: Part Thirty One of The Alternative Red Dwarf!/Website Information, etcetera.
9 views
Skip to first unread message
Marie Birch
Mar 16, 2012, 11:04:42 PM3/16/12
to
After they had all vacated the Science Room, they did not have very much
to say to one another, obviously. Lister and his fellow Dwarfer's, were
far too exhausted, to challenge one another, and even Holly, looked as
if she had needed to downtime, for yet another eight hours! And Lister
knew full well, that it always took, one hell of a lot out of her, where
re-initialising, the ships engines, was concerned, when they usually set
off, from the area of deep space, they had settled in, even after only a
couple of days, at the best of times...!
But that said, however, it wasn't a couple of days, that had caused them
all, to be stranded, in the same part of deep space, for the best part
of four hundred and four smegging years, this time! And even though,
they were all finally underway, once again, Lister could still feel
them, all moving along, at a snail's pace, already! But he decided, not
to dwell on that, too much, for the time being. For now, his number one
priority, was that, he had to get Kryten back to his old self!
Why he looked, as if he had come out of a war zone! In fact, they all
looked like, they had come out of a smegging war zone!
Lister and his fellow Dwarfers, had got, nothing to say, to one another,
after they had all entered the lift, which had been activated, to drop
the Cat, off at his Sleeping quarters, first. Naturally, the Cat, had
got, to be dropped off, at his Sleeping quarters, first!
Even though, his Sleeping quarters, were located, at least, twenty
floors, above Lister and Rimmer's, and Kryten's Sleeping quarters, the
lift, could quite easily, have been activated, to drop Lister and Kryten
off, at Kryten's Sleeping quarters, first, which would have been a great
deal, more convenient, for Lister and Kryten, at that point, in time!
But where the Cat's well-being, was concerned, it was a virtually
unwritten fact of life, that the lift, would have to be activated, to
drop him off, at his Sleeping quarters, first! And, at that point, in
time, Lister was far too tired, to argue with him, and he knew, the Cat,
only too full-well, by past experience, to argue it out, with him, that
it was far more convenient, to drop Lister and Kryten off, before he
took the lift, to his own smegging Sleeping quarters (He is utterly
selfish, isn't he?! Marie Birch)! But that said, however, Lister was
only too pleased, and relieved, to see the back of him, after the
incident, with his smegging suit racks, and his smegging mirrors! And
the Cat, gave them both, a very brief and a Royal nod, before he left
the lift, on the floor, which led, to his and Rimmer's Sleeping quarters.
Lister did not hang about, with Kryten, and he did not make any small
chat, with him, when they eventually reached the floor, where his
Sleeping quarters, were situated. And, he was definitely, not anxious to
repeat, what had happened to him, the other night! Fortunately however,
it did not take them, very long to reach Kryten's Sleeping quarters,
this time, however...
Kryten appeared, to be very tired by now, and as far, as Lister could
see, he was really quite anxious, and really quite desperate, to
downtime, after all of that hastle, they had had to put up, with, where
Holly's recent meeting, with them, in the Science Room, was concerned!
However, Lister soon winced, the very moment, that he noticed, the very
lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption cable, which was hanging
out, of Kryten's maxi-recharging unit, on the wall! And, he knew,
without a doubt, that he would soon, have to force himself, to
re-attach, Kryten, to that, very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, back into the white plastic square, with the copper
looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his
nether regions, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, after he had
carefully positioned himself, on to the very deep and hollow looking,
black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the very large cavity,
in it, which would soon expose, Kryten's rear end, with the white
plastic square, with the copper looking wires on it, which was
positioned, on to his rear end, so that, he could re-connect, the very
lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption cable, into his nether
regions, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, which would soon get
him, up and running, once again, all over again! And this time, Kryten
would be more, than aware of the fact, that Lister, would soon be, in
the process, of hooking him up, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the
wall, via the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption cable,
which would soon be, re-connected, into the white plastic square, with
the copper looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear
end, into his nether regions, after he had carefully positioned himself,
on to the very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back
rest, on it, and the very large cavity, in it, which would soon expose,
Kryten's rear end, with the white plastic square, with the copper
looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his
nether regions, after he had had, the benefit, of the best part, of an
hour and forty five minutes of smegging re-charging time! Curse it!
Lister forced himself, to go over, to the tiny black, plastic computer
screen, with it's grey keypad, on his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall,
which he had used, about two hours and forty five minutes ago, which he
had so desperately tried to sort out, for him, during the previous
evening, to give the poor droid, the re-charging time, that he had just
about, got left, at this point, in time! Unfortunately however, that had
only gone, and backfired on him, because he had only gone and collapsed,
after helping, to unload, the Cat's two hundred suit racks, and twenty
two mirrors, for his quarters, and Rimmer's
camphor wood chest, and Lister's trunk, off Starbug, in the corridor,
outside, Rimmer and Lister's Sleeping Quarters! And Kryten, had still,
not had, the full twelve hours, of recharging time, which would have
been, absolutely essential, for him, to get completely back, on track,
where his duties, on the ship, were concerned, once again! "Let me help
you, Kryten man", Lister insisted, in a rather weak manner.
And the sooner, that Kryten, was hooked up, via his maxi-recharging
unit, on the wall, via the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, which would soon be, re-connected, into the white
plastic square, with the copper looking wires on it, which was
positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether regions, after he had
carefully positioned himself, on to the very deep and hollow looking,
black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the very large cavity,
in it, which would soon expose, Kryten's rear end, with the white
plastic square, with the copper looking wires on it, which was
positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether regions, the better!
And, Lister, soon realised, that he would have to re-connect, Kryten's
maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, via the very lethal looking,
standard, three-pin adaption cable, into the white plastic square, with
the copper looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear
end, into his nether regions, after he had carefully positioned himself,
on to the very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back
rest, on it, and the very large cavity, in it, which would soon expose,
Kryten's rear end, with the white plastic square, with the copper
looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his
nether regions, once again! And then, he would have to key in, all of
the necessary commands, into the grey keypad, which would, soon appear,
on the maxi-recharging unit's, tiny black, plastic computer screen, on
the wall, which would soon, get him, up and running, once again! Because
Lister, had roughly estimated, that even though, Kryten
had only lost, the best part, of half an hour of his recharging time,
which was all, that he had basically needed, for a debriefing, with
Holly, in the Science Room, his instincts, now informed him, that it
would only be a matter of time, before the remaining hour and twenty
minutes, of that re-charging time, in question, eventually caught up
with him, once again!
And after, what had happened to him, the other night, Lister was
definitely not prepared, to take any more chances, where that was
concerned! And, he really did feel, that he had not, got a second to
lose, with regard, to his sorting out, the remaining ten hours of
Kryten's re-charging time, was concerned, via hooking him up, to his
maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, via the very lethal looking,
standard, three-pin adaption cable, which would soon be, re-connected,
into the white plastic square, with the copper looking wires, on it,
which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether regions,
after he had carefully positioned himself, on to the very deep and
hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the
very large cavity, in it, which would soon expose, Kryten's rear end,
with the white plastic square, with the copper looking wires on it,
which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether regions, when
it actually, came down to it, at the end of the day!
Fortunately however, things did not turn out that way, this time. And
Lister, need not have worried, where that was concerned! Kryten knew his
Master, only too well, and how utterly repelled he was, by the operating
principles, of just exactly how, his re-charging socket, and his groinal
socket, had worked, from past experience! And that, is something, that I
really do think, that we should, definitely not explore! But I am going
to, anyway! (Marie Birch)
If you will recall, how Kryten, became human, via the
Genetic-Modification Machine: DNA: Episode II: Red Dwarf IV, after he
had explained, the glories, of just exactly, how his recharging socket,
worked, and he had even asked Lister, if he had needed, to use some kind
of special adaptor, to attach, the very lethal looking, standard,
three-pin adaption cable, into his bum, which had annoyed him, quite
considerably, because it did not, appear, to have the standard three-pin
adaption! And, he had kindly informed Lister, where that
was concerned: "No matter, what I do, the lead just keeps on, falling
out!". And not, to mention, his not been capable, of getting his right
nipple-nut, to regulate his body temperature, and his left nipple-nut,
to pick up,shortwave radio transmissions. And, he had also kindly
informed Lister, where that was concerned: "Now, what I'm saying is, no
matter how hard, I twiddle it, I cannot, seem to pick up Jazz FM!". And
Kryten, had also gone on, to inform Lister, that he was not satisfied,
with his penis!
And Kryten had also gone on, to show, Lister his Photograph Collection,
which had consisted of some Polaroids, because he had wanted to ask
Lister, if it looked normal, and was it supposed to look like that?! And
Kryten, had also gone on, to inform Lister: "It looks hideous! And, is
that, the best design, they could come up with?! Are you seriously
telling me there were choices, and someone said: 'Ah, there, that's it.
That's the shape, we're looking for: The last-chicken-in-the-shop
look?!'. Shakespeare had one?! Einstein?! Perry Como sang: "Memories are
Made of This", with one of those stashed, in his slacks?! And no wonder,
humans don't have a zoom mode!". And Lister's response, to that, had
been - "Well, yeah!".
And he went on, to show Lister, a second and third Polaroid, of the
offending object, in question! And not, able to believe his eyes, Lister
had gone, and rotated, both of those polaroids, in question, several
times! And, he had also ended up, being completely, and utterly
perplexed, with shock and horror! In fact, Lister's eyes, had ended up,
bulging out, with shock and horror, after he had realised, what he was
seeing! And Lister's reaction, to that, had been: "Wwwwwhat were you
thinking of at the time?!". And Kryten, had gone on, to inform him, of
the cause: "Well, nothing in particular, sir. I was just idly flicking
through, an electrical-appliance catalogue! I had come across the
section on super-deluxe vacuum cleaners, and suddenly my underpants
elastic, was catapulted across the medical bay! And, it was a triple-bag
easy-glide vac, with a turbo-suction, and a self-emptying dustbag!".
And, he had even had the nerve, to wiggle, his eyebrows in a highly
suggestive manner! But Lister, was not having, any of it! And his
comments, on that, had been: "Kryten, I don't care what model, it was!
No vacuum cleaner should give a human being a double polaroid! Do
yourself a favour, man, change back".
And Kryten, had also not been, satisfied, that his optical system, did
not appear, to have a zoom function! But Lister had encouraged him, to
bring a small object, into sharp focus, via getting him, to move his
head, closer to the object. And he had achieved, just exactly that, by
practising, with the list, that he had made out, where raising, his
"Little Quibbles", about his brand new humanoid body (As if he could
just return it, like a faulty washing machine, or a hoover, to an
Electrical Appliance Store, if he wasn't satisfied with it, and trade it
in, for a brand new human model! Oh, he is so sweet and naive, isn't
he?! To cut a long story short, the poor naive Mechanoid, had no idea,
of what being human, was all about! Mind you, as far, as I am concerned,
he had not, really missing, all that much, where that is concerned, when
it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day!
Marie Birch), had been concerned, with Mr Lister, which he had insisted,
on bringing, right up to his face! And he was also, quite disappointed,
to discover, that his brand new human eyes, did not have split screens,
slow motion, or even Quantel!
But Kryten's disappointment, with regard, to the lack of features, that
his brand new human eyes, did not have, was absolutely nothing,
compared, to his disappointment, about the complicated way, that a human
being, has got to recharge itself, via eating and sleeping, and not to
mention, the sad appearance, of his brand new penis, which had caused
him, to have an erection, after seeing a super-deluxe vacuum cleaner,
which had just happened, to be a triple-bag easy-glide vac, with a
turbo-suction, and a self-emptying dustbag, via the Electrical Appliance
Catalogue, which had quite obviously, been the Series 4000 Mechanoid's
version, equivalent of a Male Human being's Porno Magazine!
And, as far, as I am concened, Porno Magazines, are a little bit behind
the times, in this day and age, especially as, you are a little bit
spoilt for choice, where the internet, is concerned, with regard, to
downloading, all of the photographs, of your choice, where all of the
bums and tits, are concerned, these days!
And as we all know, Kryten had eventually, changed back, into a
Mechanoid, courtesy of the Genetic-Modification Machine. But as we are
all fully aware, that is another story! (Marie Birch)
Kryten merely smiled, at his Master, and he stated quite simply - "That
is quite alright, Mr Lister sir, I will see, to my set up programme, via
my maxi-recharging unit, this time! And, I can assure you, that I have
got more, than enough power, inside me, to re-charge myself, this time!
You go, and catch up, with your sleep now. You really do look, as if you
need it sir!".
And Kryten, now held up, the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, with sheer, admiration and pride! And Lister soon
winced, as he briefly watched Kryten, carefully position himself, on to
the very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back rest,
on it, and the very large cavity, in it, which would, soon expose,
Kryten's rear end, with the white plastic square, with the copper
looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, so that,
he could re-connect, the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, via the white plastic square, with the copper looking
wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether
regions, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, which would soon,
get him, up and running, once again! And, the process, of re-connecting,
the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption
cable, via the maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, via the white plastic
square, with the copper looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to
his rear end, into his nether regions, after he had carefully positioned
himself, on to the very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with
the back rest, on it, and the very large cavity, in it, which now,
exposed Kryten's rear end, into his nether regions, which was not a very
pretty sight, I can tell you!
"I will see you, again in ten hours time, Mr Lister, and I promise you,
that I will definitely, get the Skutters, on to all of the necessary
repairs, tomorrow morning, on the corridor roof, and any other necessary
repair jobs, in the corridor, outside the Sleeping quarters, that you
share, with Mr Rimmer. And the same goes, for Mr Cat's Sleeping
quarters, and the corridor, leading to his Sleeping quarters.
And, I promise you, that I will definitely, clean your Sleeping
quarters, that you share, with Mr Rimmer, as soon, as it is possible,
for me, to do so sir!". And, I promise you, that I will definitely, sort
out, those old rags, for you, from my Cleaning Supplies Cupboard, that
you asked for, about four hours ago, and hopefully, that should enable
you, to get rid of the worst of the dust, in your Sleeping quarters,
which should keep you going, until I am ready to clean them!". "OK
Kryten, man. Try not, to worry about that too much, until you're up and
running, again!", Lister answered him."Very well Sir", Kryten answered
him back.
Once Lister was satisfied, after Kryten, had leaned over, after he had
carefully positioned himself, on to the very deep and hollow looking,
black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the very large cavity,
in it, which now, exposed Kryten's rear end, he very quickly typed in,
all of the necessary commands (with a great deal more, efficiency,
speed, knowledge, experience, and expertise, than Lister had done, about
two hours and forty five minutes, prior to this, which was to be
expected, where a Mechanoid, of his status, was concerned, naturally!),
via the grey keypad, into the tiny black, plastic computer screen, with
it's grey keypad, on his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, which would,
immediately kick up, the setup process, where the next ten hours of his
re-charging process, was concerned! And after, he had reconnected
himself, via the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, through the
very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back rest, on
it, into the very large cavity, via the white plastic square, with the
copper looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end,
into his nether regions, once again, Lister winced, once again, and he
went, and laid his point, into him - "And, don't take any more nonsense,
from the Cat, man!"."Yes, Mr Lister, sir", answered Kryten,
and he slumped forward, which indicated, to Lister, that he was now, in
a very somnambulant state, where his recharging routines, were
concerned, for the time being, once again!
And now, that Lister realised, that Kryten, would be, in the equivalent,
of a very deep sleep, and that, he would be unable, to communicate with
him, for the best part of ten hours, he thought, that it was probably,
for the best, if he made, his way out, of Kryten's Sleeping quarters,
now that, he was completely satisfied, that his
every need, was been taken into consideration, with regard, to where his
catching up, with the necessary ten hours, of his re-charging time, was
concerned, via the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption
cable, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, through the very deep
and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the
very large cavity, via the white plastic square, with the copper looking
wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether
regions, once again, which would be, more than essential, and would soon
enable him, to catch up, where the full twelve hours, of his recharging
time, was concerned, which would definitely, enable him, to get
completely back, on track, where his duties, on the ship, were
concerned, once again!
And now, that a completely knackered up Lister has met up, with a very
disorientated Kryten, and an utterly shattered Cat, are now fully aware,
of exactly just what, is their position, with Holly, in the Science
Room, with regard, to their present situation, on the Dwarf, where their
route, back to Earth, is concerned, will they have the misfortune, to
encounter the evil Gelf's, of unknown origins, that had
been, in residence, on the Dwarf, about two hundred years previously,
before they can even reach the icy Blue Moon (which will take them, the
best part of a week, to reach, at the very least), that they have got to
orbit, for the best part of a week, before they can even set off, for
their brand new destination: The Andromeda Galaxy, is concerned? They
could not be, that unlucky, could they?! Surely not?!
And, now that we are also fully aware, of what has happened, where
Rimmer's whereabouts, are concerned. Will Holly be able to resolve, the
problem, that is affecting his Light Bee, where restoring him, is
concerned, over the next forty eight hours? If she wants to restore him,
that is?!
And now, that Lister has finally, been allowed, to give poor Kryten, the
re-charging time of ten hours, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the
wall, in his Sleeping quarters, that will be, absolutely essential, to
enable him, to perform his duties, adequately and sufficiently enough,
on the Dwarf, one hundred percent! And will, poor Kryten, be able to
perform, his duties, adequately and sufficiently enough, on the Dwarf,
one hundred percent, before the Cat gets his hands, on him, to clean his
Sleeping quarters, out, before he can even get around, to getting, the
Skutters, to do all, of the repairs, that will be, absolutely
necessary, for the roof, of the corridor, and will he, be even able, to
clean up, the corridor, by Rimmer and Lister's's Sleeping quarters, as
well as sprucing up, Rimmer and Lister's Sleeping quarters, in the
meantime?!
And now, that we have discovered, that our perky pal, Talkie Toaster,
has finally stopped functioning, after keeping Holly company, for the
best part of four hundred and two years, will Kryten, ever be able to
repair him, after he is up and running, again?! Or do we really want,
Talkie Toaster, up and running again, especially if he is going, to keep
on making, constant demands, of the Boyz of the Dwarf, to eat, a lot of
certain bread related products, in the near future?!
And will Lister, ever reach, his and Rimmer's Sleeping quarters, which
should enable him, to get a good nights sleep, so that, he will not,
come to blows, with the Cat, before they can even get, underway, where
their route, for Earth, is concerned, once again?!
And exactly, just what, is the significance of the long silver space
ship, especially, where the radio signal, and those two large silver
coffins, are concerned?!
Find out all this and more, in the next exciting instalment of:
The Alternative Red Dwarf!
My new version of the Alternative Red Dwarf, which is actually set, on
the Dwarf, is now available, for viewing, or downloading, at:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mainaltreddwarf.htm
If you would like to go directly on to my Xanadu Red Dwarf Website, the
web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/xanadureddwarf.htm
Now available on my Xanadu Red Dwarf Website.
A review of Red Dwarf VIII filmed live at Shepperton
Studios of the 4th of December 1998!
Some new Red Dwarf links on the Xanadu Red Dwarf Links
Website, which includes links to:
Red Dwarf The Official Website.
The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club Website (UK, Eire and Europe).
The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club Website (U.S.A, Australia and
New Zealand).
The Craig Charles Funk and Soul MySpace Website.
The Unofficial Craig Charles Website.
The Unofficial Captain Butler Website.
The Danny John-Jules MySpace Website
The BBC CBBC MI High Website
The BBC CBeebies Story Makers Website
The Hideout (A Maid Marian and Her Merry Men Website)
Kryten's Homepage.
The Unofficial Chloe Annett and The Unofficial Clare Grogan Websites.
The Unofficial Emile Charles Website.
The Inquisitor Red Dwarf Group and The Inquisitor Red Dwarf Website.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Discussion and Fan Fiction Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Discussion and Fan Fiction Microsoft Windows:
Live: SkyDrive Group Message Board.
And on the Xanadu Red Dwarf Website, itself, are:
Future Red Dwarf Projects.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Favourite Episode Guide
has recently, been updated!
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Fact File Website.
A review of the film: Xanadu, and the lyrics for the
theme song: Xanadu by Olivia Newton-John!
A review of the Red Dwarf VII Extended episodes:
Tikka To Ride/Ouroboros/Duct Soup/Possible
unedited material for Red Dwarf VII, plus a review
of Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg/The Tenth Anniversary
Smeg Ups/Universe Challenge and The Children In
Need sketch.
The Explanation For The Time Drive in Transporting
The Red Dwarf Posse Back To Earth in Tikka To Ride:
(Episode I, Red Dwarf VII), as well as, The Heady
Medieval Atmosphere of 15th Century Space!
A review of the Red Dwarf VIII episodes: Back
In The Red I to III!
Recently added to Xanadu: A Review of Red Dwarf VII
by Marie Birch and Kevin Blake, and An Additional Review
of Red Dwarf VII by Marie Birch!
Red Dwarf: Back To Earth News!
Red Dwarf X News!
For those of you, who are interested, in my Unofficial Craig
Charles Website, the web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/craigcharles.htm
Recently added to my Unofficial Craig Charles Website:
The ITV Coronation Street Website.
The Lloyd Mullaney (Coronation Street Character) Profile Website.
A Craig Charles Funk and Soul Page Website.
The Craig Charles Career Profile Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Craig Charles Career Profile Microsoft Windows: Live: SkyDrive Group
Message Board.
The Craig Charles Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Smegaround: Smeg Around - Just A Place To Smeg Around Yahoo! Groups
Message Board.
The Street (Coronation Street) Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
A Profile of Craig Charles' Work For BBC 6 Music! Plus Some Very
Important BBC 6 Music Information!
The BBC 6 Music Extra Information Website.
Craig Charles', very short Tribute, to the former: BBC North and BBC
North West Studios: BBC Manchester Headquarters.
A Web Link for the brand new: BBC 6 Music Radio Station Headquarters, at
The BBC North and BBC North West Studios: BBC Manchester Headquarters,
Dock House, Salford, Greater Manchester, which is situated, at the brand
new: MediaCityUK Studios, which is based, at The Greenhouse, Salford
Quays, Salford, Greater Manchester.
Craig Charles: Former: Official Craig Charles Fan Club and the Former:
Craig Charles Online Website.
The Funky Bunker and Weapons of Mass Distraction Website.
A Craig Charles: Back From Hell: Red Dwarf VII (September 1996) Interview.
Craig Charles: Autobiography Information.
My Unoffical Craig Charles Website: Web Pages, which have recently been
updated:
My Craig Charles Career Profile Website: Plus an Interview With Craig
Charles From Cult TV Magazine, has recently been updated.
My Craig Charles Poetry Website, has recently been updated.
My Craig Charles Mini-Biography, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles, being a Presenter, of The Craig Charles Funk and Soul
Show, at the BBC 6 Music Radio Station, has recently been updated. Craig
Charles: Coronation Street (Craig, has starred, as Lloyd Mullaney, on
Coronation Street), has recently been updated.
Craig Charles, being a former Presenter, on Robot Wars, has recently
been updated.
Craig Charles: Former: Official Craig Charles Fan Club, and the Former:
Craig Charles Online Website, have recently been updated.
Craig Charles and Suzanne Rhatigan, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles: Author, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles: Autobiography News, has recently been updated.
And finally, I have set up a brand new: Section, on my Unofficial Craig
Charles Website, which is dedicated, to Additional Websites Devoted To
Craig Charles, which is basically dedicated, to some Message Boards,
that have been set up, as a Tribute, for Craig, over the years. And two
of those Message Boards, in question, I had originally set up, for
Craig, all by myself!
For those of you, who are interested, in my Unofficial Captain Butler
Website, the web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/captainbutler.htm
Recently added to my Unofficial Captain Butler Website:
A link has been set up, for the Captain Pugwash
Website/The Captain Butler Maritime and
Non-Maritime Incidents Website, informs you, all about,
The Mary Celeste Mystery and just exactly, how old,
Admiral Horatio Nelson, was, when he lost his arm!
The Captain Butler Good and Evil Pirates Website,
informs you, about, all, that you need to know, about,
Blackbeard, and the renowned legitimate Pirate:
Sir Francis Drake!
And my Captain Butler Fan Fiction: On The Goodship
Lady Captain has recently been updated!
For those of you, who are interested, in finding out more,
about the late actor: Barry Evans, who starred, in the
Doctor series, and Mind Your Language, and not to mention,
the films: Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush, Die
Screaming Marianne, The Adventures of a Taxi Driver,
and Under The Doctor. And Barry also appeared, alongside,
the late actor and comedian: Dick Emery, in the 1982 BBC
Comedy series: Emery: A Legacy of Murder. Then please go
to:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/barryevans.htm
For those of you who are interested in the Doctor series,
the web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/doctorseries.htm
I am also in the process of working on a review of the very
first episode of the Doctor series: Why Do You Want To
Be A Doctor?
For those of you who are interested in Mind Your Language,
the web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mindyourlanguage.htm
I am also in the process of working on a review of the very
first episode of Mind Your Language: The First Lesson.
Recently added to my Unofficial Barry Evans Website:
A Barry Evans Career Profile Website.
The Barry Evans Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Doctor On The Go: Episodes Summaries Website.
The Under The Doctor aka: The Way You Smile (1976) Review Website.
With regard to these reviews, they are incomplete, due to time
constraints, but they are available, for viewing or downloading,
via the appropriate websites, above, and they will always be,
permanently available, for this purpose! And when, they are
complete, it will be my intention, to notify, the various newsgroups,
to whom, they have been posted to! But in the meantime however,
my sincere apologies, for any delays, caused, anyway, and my thanks,
go to all, on alt.comedy.british, who are interested, in my Barry Evans/
/Doctor series and Mind Your Language Website's, anyway! And, it is
always nice to know, that there is more, than enough interest, to make
it, more, than worth my while, to keep, those websites going, thank you!
However, I am intending, to do brief plot summaries, of all, of the
Doctor series episodes and Mind Your Language episodes, when, I next
work, on my Barry Evans/Doctor series and Mind Your Language Websites,
as the reviews, that I am doing, of each episode, are very in-depth,
indeed, and they may, take up, a lot of web space, in the meantime! And
it is probably, for the best, if I set up, an Episode Summary website,
in the meantime, which will be, considerably shorter anyway, and for all
fans, of the Doctor series, and Mind Your Language series, then at the
very least, I have always, got something, that, will give them,
something, to keep them going, for quite, a long time!
I will also, put up, a short independent notice, for this purpose, as
soon, as it is possible, for me, to do so, anyway, especially, as I do
get, a lot of enquiries, via email, in general, via the Doctor series,
and Mind Your Language series, from all over, the world!
More recently, on my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British
Comedy Website, you may be interested, to know, that, there are also
links set up, for The Men From The Ministry Website, and a Maid Marian
and Her Merry Men Website (but there isn't very much, on the Maid Marian
and Her Merry Men Website, apart, from the series episode list, and a
Plot Summary Episode List Website, and a picture of Maid Marian and Her
Merry Men, but at the very least, there is now a Website, for the
series, at long last!)
And for those of you who are interested in my Maid Marian and Her Merry
Men website, then please go to:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/maidmarianandhermerrymen
And for those of you who are interested in Lynne Guy's General
Information and Classic British Comedy Website, then please go to:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/lynnes.htm
On my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British Comedy
Website, you will find links set up for:
Our Astronomy Website.
The College Of Adult Education in Wolverhampton Website.
The I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again Website.
My Unofficial Men From The Ministry Website
The Cats Protection League Headquarters Website.
Wildlife Park Kirkcudbright Website.
Kevin Blake's: Puzlebox Hobbies and Puzzlebox Business Websites.
The Official Website Of The British Monarchy.
Recently added, to my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British
Comedy Website, you can find a web page, which informs you all about me:
Marie Birch!
Recently added, to my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic
British Comedy Website.
A message of sympathy for the families of the victims and the
Firefighters, who lost their lives, via the attacks, on The World Trade
Centre and The Pentagon, in the United States of America.
That's All For Now, Folks!
Marie Birch
--
All email traffic on this computer is virus monitored by PC Guard
to say to one another, obviously. Lister and his fellow Dwarfer's, were
far too exhausted, to challenge one another, and even Holly, looked as
if she had needed to downtime, for yet another eight hours! And Lister
knew full well, that it always took, one hell of a lot out of her, where
re-initialising, the ships engines, was concerned, when they usually set
off, from the area of deep space, they had settled in, even after only a
couple of days, at the best of times...!
But that said, however, it wasn't a couple of days, that had caused them
all, to be stranded, in the same part of deep space, for the best part
of four hundred and four smegging years, this time! And even though,
they were all finally underway, once again, Lister could still feel
them, all moving along, at a snail's pace, already! But he decided, not
to dwell on that, too much, for the time being. For now, his number one
priority, was that, he had to get Kryten back to his old self!
Why he looked, as if he had come out of a war zone! In fact, they all
looked like, they had come out of a smegging war zone!
Lister and his fellow Dwarfers, had got, nothing to say, to one another,
after they had all entered the lift, which had been activated, to drop
the Cat, off at his Sleeping quarters, first. Naturally, the Cat, had
got, to be dropped off, at his Sleeping quarters, first!
Even though, his Sleeping quarters, were located, at least, twenty
floors, above Lister and Rimmer's, and Kryten's Sleeping quarters, the
lift, could quite easily, have been activated, to drop Lister and Kryten
off, at Kryten's Sleeping quarters, first, which would have been a great
deal, more convenient, for Lister and Kryten, at that point, in time!
But where the Cat's well-being, was concerned, it was a virtually
unwritten fact of life, that the lift, would have to be activated, to
drop him off, at his Sleeping quarters, first! And, at that point, in
time, Lister was far too tired, to argue with him, and he knew, the Cat,
only too full-well, by past experience, to argue it out, with him, that
it was far more convenient, to drop Lister and Kryten off, before he
took the lift, to his own smegging Sleeping quarters (He is utterly
selfish, isn't he?! Marie Birch)! But that said, however, Lister was
only too pleased, and relieved, to see the back of him, after the
incident, with his smegging suit racks, and his smegging mirrors! And
the Cat, gave them both, a very brief and a Royal nod, before he left
the lift, on the floor, which led, to his and Rimmer's Sleeping quarters.
Lister did not hang about, with Kryten, and he did not make any small
chat, with him, when they eventually reached the floor, where his
Sleeping quarters, were situated. And, he was definitely, not anxious to
repeat, what had happened to him, the other night! Fortunately however,
it did not take them, very long to reach Kryten's Sleeping quarters,
this time, however...
Kryten appeared, to be very tired by now, and as far, as Lister could
see, he was really quite anxious, and really quite desperate, to
downtime, after all of that hastle, they had had to put up, with, where
Holly's recent meeting, with them, in the Science Room, was concerned!
However, Lister soon winced, the very moment, that he noticed, the very
lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption cable, which was hanging
out, of Kryten's maxi-recharging unit, on the wall! And, he knew,
without a doubt, that he would soon, have to force himself, to
re-attach, Kryten, to that, very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, back into the white plastic square, with the copper
looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his
nether regions, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, after he had
carefully positioned himself, on to the very deep and hollow looking,
black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the very large cavity,
in it, which would soon expose, Kryten's rear end, with the white
plastic square, with the copper looking wires on it, which was
positioned, on to his rear end, so that, he could re-connect, the very
lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption cable, into his nether
regions, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, which would soon get
him, up and running, once again, all over again! And this time, Kryten
would be more, than aware of the fact, that Lister, would soon be, in
the process, of hooking him up, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the
wall, via the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption cable,
which would soon be, re-connected, into the white plastic square, with
the copper looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear
end, into his nether regions, after he had carefully positioned himself,
on to the very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back
rest, on it, and the very large cavity, in it, which would soon expose,
Kryten's rear end, with the white plastic square, with the copper
looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his
nether regions, after he had had, the benefit, of the best part, of an
hour and forty five minutes of smegging re-charging time! Curse it!
Lister forced himself, to go over, to the tiny black, plastic computer
screen, with it's grey keypad, on his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall,
which he had used, about two hours and forty five minutes ago, which he
had so desperately tried to sort out, for him, during the previous
evening, to give the poor droid, the re-charging time, that he had just
about, got left, at this point, in time! Unfortunately however, that had
only gone, and backfired on him, because he had only gone and collapsed,
after helping, to unload, the Cat's two hundred suit racks, and twenty
two mirrors, for his quarters, and Rimmer's
camphor wood chest, and Lister's trunk, off Starbug, in the corridor,
outside, Rimmer and Lister's Sleeping Quarters! And Kryten, had still,
not had, the full twelve hours, of recharging time, which would have
been, absolutely essential, for him, to get completely back, on track,
where his duties, on the ship, were concerned, once again! "Let me help
you, Kryten man", Lister insisted, in a rather weak manner.
And the sooner, that Kryten, was hooked up, via his maxi-recharging
unit, on the wall, via the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, which would soon be, re-connected, into the white
plastic square, with the copper looking wires on it, which was
positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether regions, after he had
carefully positioned himself, on to the very deep and hollow looking,
black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the very large cavity,
in it, which would soon expose, Kryten's rear end, with the white
plastic square, with the copper looking wires on it, which was
positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether regions, the better!
And, Lister, soon realised, that he would have to re-connect, Kryten's
maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, via the very lethal looking,
standard, three-pin adaption cable, into the white plastic square, with
the copper looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear
end, into his nether regions, after he had carefully positioned himself,
on to the very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back
rest, on it, and the very large cavity, in it, which would soon expose,
Kryten's rear end, with the white plastic square, with the copper
looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his
nether regions, once again! And then, he would have to key in, all of
the necessary commands, into the grey keypad, which would, soon appear,
on the maxi-recharging unit's, tiny black, plastic computer screen, on
the wall, which would soon, get him, up and running, once again! Because
Lister, had roughly estimated, that even though, Kryten
had only lost, the best part, of half an hour of his recharging time,
which was all, that he had basically needed, for a debriefing, with
Holly, in the Science Room, his instincts, now informed him, that it
would only be a matter of time, before the remaining hour and twenty
minutes, of that re-charging time, in question, eventually caught up
with him, once again!
And after, what had happened to him, the other night, Lister was
definitely not prepared, to take any more chances, where that was
concerned! And, he really did feel, that he had not, got a second to
lose, with regard, to his sorting out, the remaining ten hours of
Kryten's re-charging time, was concerned, via hooking him up, to his
maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, via the very lethal looking,
standard, three-pin adaption cable, which would soon be, re-connected,
into the white plastic square, with the copper looking wires, on it,
which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether regions,
after he had carefully positioned himself, on to the very deep and
hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the
very large cavity, in it, which would soon expose, Kryten's rear end,
with the white plastic square, with the copper looking wires on it,
which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether regions, when
it actually, came down to it, at the end of the day!
Fortunately however, things did not turn out that way, this time. And
Lister, need not have worried, where that was concerned! Kryten knew his
Master, only too well, and how utterly repelled he was, by the operating
principles, of just exactly how, his re-charging socket, and his groinal
socket, had worked, from past experience! And that, is something, that I
really do think, that we should, definitely not explore! But I am going
to, anyway! (Marie Birch)
If you will recall, how Kryten, became human, via the
Genetic-Modification Machine: DNA: Episode II: Red Dwarf IV, after he
had explained, the glories, of just exactly, how his recharging socket,
worked, and he had even asked Lister, if he had needed, to use some kind
of special adaptor, to attach, the very lethal looking, standard,
three-pin adaption cable, into his bum, which had annoyed him, quite
considerably, because it did not, appear, to have the standard three-pin
adaption! And, he had kindly informed Lister, where that
was concerned: "No matter, what I do, the lead just keeps on, falling
out!". And not, to mention, his not been capable, of getting his right
nipple-nut, to regulate his body temperature, and his left nipple-nut,
to pick up,shortwave radio transmissions. And, he had also kindly
informed Lister, where that was concerned: "Now, what I'm saying is, no
matter how hard, I twiddle it, I cannot, seem to pick up Jazz FM!". And
Kryten, had also gone on, to inform Lister, that he was not satisfied,
with his penis!
And Kryten had also gone on, to show, Lister his Photograph Collection,
which had consisted of some Polaroids, because he had wanted to ask
Lister, if it looked normal, and was it supposed to look like that?! And
Kryten, had also gone on, to inform Lister: "It looks hideous! And, is
that, the best design, they could come up with?! Are you seriously
telling me there were choices, and someone said: 'Ah, there, that's it.
That's the shape, we're looking for: The last-chicken-in-the-shop
look?!'. Shakespeare had one?! Einstein?! Perry Como sang: "Memories are
Made of This", with one of those stashed, in his slacks?! And no wonder,
humans don't have a zoom mode!". And Lister's response, to that, had
been - "Well, yeah!".
And he went on, to show Lister, a second and third Polaroid, of the
offending object, in question! And not, able to believe his eyes, Lister
had gone, and rotated, both of those polaroids, in question, several
times! And, he had also ended up, being completely, and utterly
perplexed, with shock and horror! In fact, Lister's eyes, had ended up,
bulging out, with shock and horror, after he had realised, what he was
seeing! And Lister's reaction, to that, had been: "Wwwwwhat were you
thinking of at the time?!". And Kryten, had gone on, to inform him, of
the cause: "Well, nothing in particular, sir. I was just idly flicking
through, an electrical-appliance catalogue! I had come across the
section on super-deluxe vacuum cleaners, and suddenly my underpants
elastic, was catapulted across the medical bay! And, it was a triple-bag
easy-glide vac, with a turbo-suction, and a self-emptying dustbag!".
And, he had even had the nerve, to wiggle, his eyebrows in a highly
suggestive manner! But Lister, was not having, any of it! And his
comments, on that, had been: "Kryten, I don't care what model, it was!
No vacuum cleaner should give a human being a double polaroid! Do
yourself a favour, man, change back".
And Kryten, had also not been, satisfied, that his optical system, did
not appear, to have a zoom function! But Lister had encouraged him, to
bring a small object, into sharp focus, via getting him, to move his
head, closer to the object. And he had achieved, just exactly that, by
practising, with the list, that he had made out, where raising, his
"Little Quibbles", about his brand new humanoid body (As if he could
just return it, like a faulty washing machine, or a hoover, to an
Electrical Appliance Store, if he wasn't satisfied with it, and trade it
in, for a brand new human model! Oh, he is so sweet and naive, isn't
he?! To cut a long story short, the poor naive Mechanoid, had no idea,
of what being human, was all about! Mind you, as far, as I am concerned,
he had not, really missing, all that much, where that is concerned, when
it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day!
Marie Birch), had been concerned, with Mr Lister, which he had insisted,
on bringing, right up to his face! And he was also, quite disappointed,
to discover, that his brand new human eyes, did not have split screens,
slow motion, or even Quantel!
But Kryten's disappointment, with regard, to the lack of features, that
his brand new human eyes, did not have, was absolutely nothing,
compared, to his disappointment, about the complicated way, that a human
being, has got to recharge itself, via eating and sleeping, and not to
mention, the sad appearance, of his brand new penis, which had caused
him, to have an erection, after seeing a super-deluxe vacuum cleaner,
which had just happened, to be a triple-bag easy-glide vac, with a
turbo-suction, and a self-emptying dustbag, via the Electrical Appliance
Catalogue, which had quite obviously, been the Series 4000 Mechanoid's
version, equivalent of a Male Human being's Porno Magazine!
And, as far, as I am concened, Porno Magazines, are a little bit behind
the times, in this day and age, especially as, you are a little bit
spoilt for choice, where the internet, is concerned, with regard, to
downloading, all of the photographs, of your choice, where all of the
bums and tits, are concerned, these days!
And as we all know, Kryten had eventually, changed back, into a
Mechanoid, courtesy of the Genetic-Modification Machine. But as we are
all fully aware, that is another story! (Marie Birch)
Kryten merely smiled, at his Master, and he stated quite simply - "That
is quite alright, Mr Lister sir, I will see, to my set up programme, via
my maxi-recharging unit, this time! And, I can assure you, that I have
got more, than enough power, inside me, to re-charge myself, this time!
You go, and catch up, with your sleep now. You really do look, as if you
need it sir!".
And Kryten, now held up, the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, with sheer, admiration and pride! And Lister soon
winced, as he briefly watched Kryten, carefully position himself, on to
the very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back rest,
on it, and the very large cavity, in it, which would, soon expose,
Kryten's rear end, with the white plastic square, with the copper
looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, so that,
he could re-connect, the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, via the white plastic square, with the copper looking
wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether
regions, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, which would soon,
get him, up and running, once again! And, the process, of re-connecting,
the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption
cable, via the maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, via the white plastic
square, with the copper looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to
his rear end, into his nether regions, after he had carefully positioned
himself, on to the very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with
the back rest, on it, and the very large cavity, in it, which now,
exposed Kryten's rear end, into his nether regions, which was not a very
pretty sight, I can tell you!
"I will see you, again in ten hours time, Mr Lister, and I promise you,
that I will definitely, get the Skutters, on to all of the necessary
repairs, tomorrow morning, on the corridor roof, and any other necessary
repair jobs, in the corridor, outside the Sleeping quarters, that you
share, with Mr Rimmer. And the same goes, for Mr Cat's Sleeping
quarters, and the corridor, leading to his Sleeping quarters.
And, I promise you, that I will definitely, clean your Sleeping
quarters, that you share, with Mr Rimmer, as soon, as it is possible,
for me, to do so sir!". And, I promise you, that I will definitely, sort
out, those old rags, for you, from my Cleaning Supplies Cupboard, that
you asked for, about four hours ago, and hopefully, that should enable
you, to get rid of the worst of the dust, in your Sleeping quarters,
which should keep you going, until I am ready to clean them!". "OK
Kryten, man. Try not, to worry about that too much, until you're up and
running, again!", Lister answered him."Very well Sir", Kryten answered
him back.
Once Lister was satisfied, after Kryten, had leaned over, after he had
carefully positioned himself, on to the very deep and hollow looking,
black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the very large cavity,
in it, which now, exposed Kryten's rear end, he very quickly typed in,
all of the necessary commands (with a great deal more, efficiency,
speed, knowledge, experience, and expertise, than Lister had done, about
two hours and forty five minutes, prior to this, which was to be
expected, where a Mechanoid, of his status, was concerned, naturally!),
via the grey keypad, into the tiny black, plastic computer screen, with
it's grey keypad, on his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, which would,
immediately kick up, the setup process, where the next ten hours of his
re-charging process, was concerned! And after, he had reconnected
himself, via the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin
adaption cable, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, through the
very deep and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back rest, on
it, into the very large cavity, via the white plastic square, with the
copper looking wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end,
into his nether regions, once again, Lister winced, once again, and he
went, and laid his point, into him - "And, don't take any more nonsense,
from the Cat, man!"."Yes, Mr Lister, sir", answered Kryten,
and he slumped forward, which indicated, to Lister, that he was now, in
a very somnambulant state, where his recharging routines, were
concerned, for the time being, once again!
And now, that Lister realised, that Kryten, would be, in the equivalent,
of a very deep sleep, and that, he would be unable, to communicate with
him, for the best part of ten hours, he thought, that it was probably,
for the best, if he made, his way out, of Kryten's Sleeping quarters,
now that, he was completely satisfied, that his
every need, was been taken into consideration, with regard, to where his
catching up, with the necessary ten hours, of his re-charging time, was
concerned, via the very lethal looking, standard, three-pin adaption
cable, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the wall, through the very deep
and hollow looking, black boxed seat, with the back rest, on it, and the
very large cavity, via the white plastic square, with the copper looking
wires on it, which was positioned, on to his rear end, into his nether
regions, once again, which would be, more than essential, and would soon
enable him, to catch up, where the full twelve hours, of his recharging
time, was concerned, which would definitely, enable him, to get
completely back, on track, where his duties, on the ship, were
concerned, once again!
And now, that a completely knackered up Lister has met up, with a very
disorientated Kryten, and an utterly shattered Cat, are now fully aware,
of exactly just what, is their position, with Holly, in the Science
Room, with regard, to their present situation, on the Dwarf, where their
route, back to Earth, is concerned, will they have the misfortune, to
encounter the evil Gelf's, of unknown origins, that had
been, in residence, on the Dwarf, about two hundred years previously,
before they can even reach the icy Blue Moon (which will take them, the
best part of a week, to reach, at the very least), that they have got to
orbit, for the best part of a week, before they can even set off, for
their brand new destination: The Andromeda Galaxy, is concerned? They
could not be, that unlucky, could they?! Surely not?!
And, now that we are also fully aware, of what has happened, where
Rimmer's whereabouts, are concerned. Will Holly be able to resolve, the
problem, that is affecting his Light Bee, where restoring him, is
concerned, over the next forty eight hours? If she wants to restore him,
that is?!
And now, that Lister has finally, been allowed, to give poor Kryten, the
re-charging time of ten hours, via his maxi-recharging unit, on the
wall, in his Sleeping quarters, that will be, absolutely essential, to
enable him, to perform his duties, adequately and sufficiently enough,
on the Dwarf, one hundred percent! And will, poor Kryten, be able to
perform, his duties, adequately and sufficiently enough, on the Dwarf,
one hundred percent, before the Cat gets his hands, on him, to clean his
Sleeping quarters, out, before he can even get around, to getting, the
Skutters, to do all, of the repairs, that will be, absolutely
necessary, for the roof, of the corridor, and will he, be even able, to
clean up, the corridor, by Rimmer and Lister's's Sleeping quarters, as
well as sprucing up, Rimmer and Lister's Sleeping quarters, in the
meantime?!
And now, that we have discovered, that our perky pal, Talkie Toaster,
has finally stopped functioning, after keeping Holly company, for the
best part of four hundred and two years, will Kryten, ever be able to
repair him, after he is up and running, again?! Or do we really want,
Talkie Toaster, up and running again, especially if he is going, to keep
on making, constant demands, of the Boyz of the Dwarf, to eat, a lot of
certain bread related products, in the near future?!
And will Lister, ever reach, his and Rimmer's Sleeping quarters, which
should enable him, to get a good nights sleep, so that, he will not,
come to blows, with the Cat, before they can even get, underway, where
their route, for Earth, is concerned, once again?!
And exactly, just what, is the significance of the long silver space
ship, especially, where the radio signal, and those two large silver
coffins, are concerned?!
Find out all this and more, in the next exciting instalment of:
The Alternative Red Dwarf!
My new version of the Alternative Red Dwarf, which is actually set, on
the Dwarf, is now available, for viewing, or downloading, at:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mainaltreddwarf.htm
If you would like to go directly on to my Xanadu Red Dwarf Website, the
web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/xanadureddwarf.htm
Now available on my Xanadu Red Dwarf Website.
A review of Red Dwarf VIII filmed live at Shepperton
Studios of the 4th of December 1998!
Some new Red Dwarf links on the Xanadu Red Dwarf Links
Website, which includes links to:
Red Dwarf The Official Website.
The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club Website (UK, Eire and Europe).
The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club Website (U.S.A, Australia and
New Zealand).
The Craig Charles Funk and Soul MySpace Website.
The Unofficial Craig Charles Website.
The Unofficial Captain Butler Website.
The Danny John-Jules MySpace Website
The BBC CBBC MI High Website
The BBC CBeebies Story Makers Website
The Hideout (A Maid Marian and Her Merry Men Website)
Kryten's Homepage.
The Unofficial Chloe Annett and The Unofficial Clare Grogan Websites.
The Unofficial Emile Charles Website.
The Inquisitor Red Dwarf Group and The Inquisitor Red Dwarf Website.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Discussion and Fan Fiction Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Discussion and Fan Fiction Microsoft Windows:
Live: SkyDrive Group Message Board.
And on the Xanadu Red Dwarf Website, itself, are:
Future Red Dwarf Projects.
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Favourite Episode Guide
has recently, been updated!
The Xanadu Red Dwarf Fact File Website.
A review of the film: Xanadu, and the lyrics for the
theme song: Xanadu by Olivia Newton-John!
A review of the Red Dwarf VII Extended episodes:
Tikka To Ride/Ouroboros/Duct Soup/Possible
unedited material for Red Dwarf VII, plus a review
of Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg/The Tenth Anniversary
Smeg Ups/Universe Challenge and The Children In
Need sketch.
The Explanation For The Time Drive in Transporting
The Red Dwarf Posse Back To Earth in Tikka To Ride:
(Episode I, Red Dwarf VII), as well as, The Heady
Medieval Atmosphere of 15th Century Space!
A review of the Red Dwarf VIII episodes: Back
In The Red I to III!
Recently added to Xanadu: A Review of Red Dwarf VII
by Marie Birch and Kevin Blake, and An Additional Review
of Red Dwarf VII by Marie Birch!
Red Dwarf: Back To Earth News!
Red Dwarf X News!
For those of you, who are interested, in my Unofficial Craig
Charles Website, the web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/craigcharles.htm
Recently added to my Unofficial Craig Charles Website:
The ITV Coronation Street Website.
The Lloyd Mullaney (Coronation Street Character) Profile Website.
A Craig Charles Funk and Soul Page Website.
The Craig Charles Career Profile Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Craig Charles Career Profile Microsoft Windows: Live: SkyDrive Group
Message Board.
The Craig Charles Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Smegaround: Smeg Around - Just A Place To Smeg Around Yahoo! Groups
Message Board.
The Street (Coronation Street) Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
A Profile of Craig Charles' Work For BBC 6 Music! Plus Some Very
Important BBC 6 Music Information!
The BBC 6 Music Extra Information Website.
Craig Charles', very short Tribute, to the former: BBC North and BBC
North West Studios: BBC Manchester Headquarters.
A Web Link for the brand new: BBC 6 Music Radio Station Headquarters, at
The BBC North and BBC North West Studios: BBC Manchester Headquarters,
Dock House, Salford, Greater Manchester, which is situated, at the brand
new: MediaCityUK Studios, which is based, at The Greenhouse, Salford
Quays, Salford, Greater Manchester.
Craig Charles: Former: Official Craig Charles Fan Club and the Former:
Craig Charles Online Website.
The Funky Bunker and Weapons of Mass Distraction Website.
A Craig Charles: Back From Hell: Red Dwarf VII (September 1996) Interview.
Craig Charles: Autobiography Information.
My Unoffical Craig Charles Website: Web Pages, which have recently been
updated:
My Craig Charles Career Profile Website: Plus an Interview With Craig
Charles From Cult TV Magazine, has recently been updated.
My Craig Charles Poetry Website, has recently been updated.
My Craig Charles Mini-Biography, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles, being a Presenter, of The Craig Charles Funk and Soul
Show, at the BBC 6 Music Radio Station, has recently been updated. Craig
Charles: Coronation Street (Craig, has starred, as Lloyd Mullaney, on
Coronation Street), has recently been updated.
Craig Charles, being a former Presenter, on Robot Wars, has recently
been updated.
Craig Charles: Former: Official Craig Charles Fan Club, and the Former:
Craig Charles Online Website, have recently been updated.
Craig Charles and Suzanne Rhatigan, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles: Author, has recently been updated.
Craig Charles: Autobiography News, has recently been updated.
And finally, I have set up a brand new: Section, on my Unofficial Craig
Charles Website, which is dedicated, to Additional Websites Devoted To
Craig Charles, which is basically dedicated, to some Message Boards,
that have been set up, as a Tribute, for Craig, over the years. And two
of those Message Boards, in question, I had originally set up, for
Craig, all by myself!
For those of you, who are interested, in my Unofficial Captain Butler
Website, the web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/captainbutler.htm
Recently added to my Unofficial Captain Butler Website:
A link has been set up, for the Captain Pugwash
Website/The Captain Butler Maritime and
Non-Maritime Incidents Website, informs you, all about,
The Mary Celeste Mystery and just exactly, how old,
Admiral Horatio Nelson, was, when he lost his arm!
The Captain Butler Good and Evil Pirates Website,
informs you, about, all, that you need to know, about,
Blackbeard, and the renowned legitimate Pirate:
Sir Francis Drake!
And my Captain Butler Fan Fiction: On The Goodship
Lady Captain has recently been updated!
For those of you, who are interested, in finding out more,
about the late actor: Barry Evans, who starred, in the
Doctor series, and Mind Your Language, and not to mention,
the films: Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush, Die
Screaming Marianne, The Adventures of a Taxi Driver,
and Under The Doctor. And Barry also appeared, alongside,
the late actor and comedian: Dick Emery, in the 1982 BBC
Comedy series: Emery: A Legacy of Murder. Then please go
to:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/barryevans.htm
For those of you who are interested in the Doctor series,
the web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/doctorseries.htm
I am also in the process of working on a review of the very
first episode of the Doctor series: Why Do You Want To
Be A Doctor?
For those of you who are interested in Mind Your Language,
the web reference is:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/mindyourlanguage.htm
I am also in the process of working on a review of the very
first episode of Mind Your Language: The First Lesson.
Recently added to my Unofficial Barry Evans Website:
A Barry Evans Career Profile Website.
The Barry Evans Yahoo! Groups Message Board.
The Doctor On The Go: Episodes Summaries Website.
The Under The Doctor aka: The Way You Smile (1976) Review Website.
With regard to these reviews, they are incomplete, due to time
constraints, but they are available, for viewing or downloading,
via the appropriate websites, above, and they will always be,
permanently available, for this purpose! And when, they are
complete, it will be my intention, to notify, the various newsgroups,
to whom, they have been posted to! But in the meantime however,
my sincere apologies, for any delays, caused, anyway, and my thanks,
go to all, on alt.comedy.british, who are interested, in my Barry Evans/
/Doctor series and Mind Your Language Website's, anyway! And, it is
always nice to know, that there is more, than enough interest, to make
it, more, than worth my while, to keep, those websites going, thank you!
However, I am intending, to do brief plot summaries, of all, of the
Doctor series episodes and Mind Your Language episodes, when, I next
work, on my Barry Evans/Doctor series and Mind Your Language Websites,
as the reviews, that I am doing, of each episode, are very in-depth,
indeed, and they may, take up, a lot of web space, in the meantime! And
it is probably, for the best, if I set up, an Episode Summary website,
in the meantime, which will be, considerably shorter anyway, and for all
fans, of the Doctor series, and Mind Your Language series, then at the
very least, I have always, got something, that, will give them,
something, to keep them going, for quite, a long time!
I will also, put up, a short independent notice, for this purpose, as
soon, as it is possible, for me, to do so, anyway, especially, as I do
get, a lot of enquiries, via email, in general, via the Doctor series,
and Mind Your Language series, from all over, the world!
More recently, on my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British
Comedy Website, you may be interested, to know, that, there are also
links set up, for The Men From The Ministry Website, and a Maid Marian
and Her Merry Men Website (but there isn't very much, on the Maid Marian
and Her Merry Men Website, apart, from the series episode list, and a
Plot Summary Episode List Website, and a picture of Maid Marian and Her
Merry Men, but at the very least, there is now a Website, for the
series, at long last!)
And for those of you who are interested in my Maid Marian and Her Merry
Men website, then please go to:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/maidmarianandhermerrymen
And for those of you who are interested in Lynne Guy's General
Information and Classic British Comedy Website, then please go to:
http://www.viola123.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/lynnes.htm
On my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British Comedy
Website, you will find links set up for:
Our Astronomy Website.
The College Of Adult Education in Wolverhampton Website.
The I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again Website.
My Unofficial Men From The Ministry Website
The Cats Protection League Headquarters Website.
Wildlife Park Kirkcudbright Website.
Kevin Blake's: Puzlebox Hobbies and Puzzlebox Business Websites.
The Official Website Of The British Monarchy.
Recently added, to my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic British
Comedy Website, you can find a web page, which informs you all about me:
Marie Birch!
Recently added, to my Lynne Guy's General Information and Classic
British Comedy Website.
A message of sympathy for the families of the victims and the
Firefighters, who lost their lives, via the attacks, on The World Trade
Centre and The Pentagon, in the United States of America.
That's All For Now, Folks!
Marie Birch
--
All email traffic on this computer is virus monitored by PC Guard
Marie Birch
Mar 18, 2012, 5:03:31 PM3/18/12
to
Marie Birch
Mar 18, 2012, 5:13:42 PM3/18/12
to
0 new messages