Topper archive

[amac44]

I wonder if anyone has seen an archive of comics in which Topper
appears? Or a more general Dilbert index of some kind ...

a

[Tad Ashlock]

Here's all of the Dilbert strips (so far) featuring Topper:

2001-01-01 (ignorance 114a) (sociopath 197a)
[Dilbert, PHB, Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Dilbert meets Topper, who tops anything anyone
says. Subject: Office Politics Keywords: introduction @
---
PHB: DILBERT, MEET TOPPER. HE'S AMAZING.
---
PHB: NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT YOURSELF, HE'LL TOP IT.
---
Dilbert: HOW ARE YOU?
Topper: I CAN'T GO FIRST. IT RUINS MY SYSTEM.
---

2001-01-02 (ignorance 114b)
[Dilbert, Topper, (Wally)]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Dilbert complains of mouse cramp. Topper tops that
complaint. Subject: Office Politics Keywords: lunch @
---
Dilbert: I'M GETTING A MOUSE CRAMP.
---
Topper: I SPENT SEVEN YEARS CHAINED UPSIDE DOWN TO AN ELBONIAN PRISON
WALL.
---
Topper: AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING TOO COMPETITIVE, I BELIEVE I'M WINNING
THIS CONVERSATION.
---

2001-01-03 (ignorance 114c)
[Dilbert, (PHB), Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Dilbert and Topper compare the costs and benefits of
their projects. Subject: Office Politics Keywords: completion, cost
@
---
Dilbert: MY PROJECT WILL SAVE THE COMPANY A MILLION DOLLARS.
Topper: MINE SAVES TWENTY MILLION.
---
Dilbert: MY PROJECT WILL TAKE A YEAR TO COMPLETE.
Topper: MINE TAKES A WEEK.
---
Dilbert: TOPPER, I HAVE HALF A MIND...
Topper: I HAVE ONE PERCENT OF A MIND.
---

2001-01-04 (ignorance 115a) (explain 139c)
[Ming, Topper]
@EXPLAIN -- This is from a series where the character, Topper, has to
"win" every conversation. You know this guy. @
@DSI -- Synopsis: Ming complains of a headache. Topper tops that
complaint. Subject: Health Keywords: self-inflicted, dents @
---
Ming: MY HEADACHE IS DOOZY.
Topper: HA! THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: *BAM!* *BAM!* *BAM!*
---
Ming: UM... YOU WIN.
Topper: I'M JUST GETTING STARTED! *STAR* *STAR* *STAR*
---

2004-08-24 (glistens 84b)
[Dilbert, Asok, Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper returns and tries to one-up Asok's egg-shaped
rock. Subject: Character @
---
_RETURN OF TOPPER_
Asok: I FOUND A ROCK THAT'S SHAPED LIKE AN EGG.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING!
---
Topper: I HAVE A ROCK THAT'S SHAPED LIKE NICK LACHEY AND JESSICA
SIMPSON.
---
Asok: MY ROCK JUST HATCHED! IT'S A FULLY CLOTHED ALIEN FROM A DISTANT
GALAXY!
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING!
---

2005-08-16 (thriving 117b)
[Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper tops the Feature Creep. Subject: Office
Politics Keywords: competition, foreign languages, Marriage @
---
_TOPPER VERSUS THE FEATURE CREEP_
Creep: WE NEED TO ADD A KEYWORD SEARCH FUNCTION.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING!
---
Topper: IT SHOULD ALSO SEARCH IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES INCLUDING
FRIULIAN, KATAANG, HORPA AND WAGI.
---
Creep: I LIKE YOUR STYLE.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING! I WANT TO MARRY YOU IN A CIVIL UNION.
---

2005-08-17 (thriving 117c)
[Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper tops a customer. Subject: Personality @
---
_TOPPER VS. A CUSTOMER_
Customer: I COMPETED IN THE IDITAROD, AN 1,150-MILE DOGSLED RACE
LASTING 15 DAYS, OVER THE WORLD'S TOUGHEST TERRAIN.
---
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING. I COMPLETED THE RACE WHILE PRETENDING TO BE
ONE OF YOUR DOGS.
---
Customer: NOW I DON'T WANT TO BUY FROM YOUR COMPANY.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING. NOW I PLAN TO BURN MY COMPANY TO THE GROUND.
---

2005-08-18 (thriving 118a)
[Alice, Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper tops Alice about sleep deprivation. Subject:
Personality @
---
_TOPPER VERSUS ALICE_
Alice: I DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: I'M PART OF A SECRET GOVERNMENT TEST ON SLEEP DEPRIVATION. I
HAVEN'T SLEPT SINCE FEBRUARY.
---
Alice: I SO WANT TO PUNCH YOU RIGHT NOW.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING. I'LL RIP OFF MY OWN HEAD AND MAKE ME EAT IT.
---

2005-08-19 (thriving 118b)
[PHB, (Carol), Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper tops the Boss about fishing. Subject:
Personality Keywords: fishing @
---
_TOPPER VS. THE BOSS_
PHB: IT WAS THE BIGGEST FISH EVER CAUGHT IN THAT LAKE!
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: I ONCE CAUGHT A DINOSAUR BY USING NOTHING BUT DENTAL FLOSS AND
A PULL TAB FROM A BEER CAN.
---
PHB: I'D LIKE TO SEE THIS ALLEGED DINOSAUR.
Topper: TOO LATE. I ALSO MAKE THE WORLD'S BEST BARBECUE SAUCE.
---

2005-12-12 (reboot 48a)
[(Dilbert), Alice, Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper tops Alice by hopping 40 miles to work on a
broken leg. Subject: Character Keywords: run, jog, broken leg, forty
miles @
---
_TOPPER_
Alice: I RAN SIX MILES EVEN THOUGH I WAS SORE.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: I BROKE MY LEG AND HOPPED ALL THE WAY TO WORK THIS MORNING.
---
Alice: YOU HOPPED 40 MILES ON YOUR ONE GOOD LEG?
Topper: ON THE BROKEN ONE.
---

2006-04-22 (reboot 103c)
[(Dilbert), Alice, Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper claims that he carried over so much vacation
time that they had to create a new month named for him. Subject:
Personality @
---
_TOPPER_
Alice: I HAD TO CARRY OVER THREE WEEKS OF VACATION.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING!
---
Topper: I CARRIED OVER SO MUCH TIME THAT THEY HAD TO CREATE A NEW
MONTH AND NAME IT AFTER ME!
---
Alice: SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!
Topper: IT LOOKS AS IF SOMEONE IS HAVING A BAD TOPPERUARY.
---

2006-11-13 (positive 72a{C})
[Asok, Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper tops Steve's combat story. Subject:
Character Keywords: eyebrow, disbelief, Steve @
---
_RETURN OF TOPPER_
Anon: THEN WE STARTED TAKING RPG FIRE FROM A ROOFTOP.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: I STRANGLED 900 INSURGENTS WITH MY BARE HANDS.
---
Anon: THAT SEEMS UNLIKELY.
Topper: THAT'S WHAT THE FIRST 600 SAID.
---

2006-11-14 (positive 72b{C})
[Carol, Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper tops Carol's childbirth story. Subject:
Character Keywords: eleven pounds @
---
_TOPPER_
Carol: MY FIRST BABY WEIGHED 11 POUNDS.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: I ONCE PASSED A KIDNEY STONE THAT WAS THE SIZE OF A SMALL
HORSE.
---
Carol: I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE.
Topper: THAT KIDNEY STONE WENT ON TO WIN THE KENTUCKY DERBY!
---

2006-11-15 (positive 72c{C})
[Alice, Topper]
@DSI -- Synopsis: Topper tops Alice's story about Brad Pitt and
Angelina Jolie. Subject: Character Keywords: breast feeding @
---
Alice: THEY'RE FILMING A MOVIE DOWNTOWN. I JUST SAW BRAD PITT!
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: I ONCE USED TOO MUCH FAKE TANNING SPRAY AND THE NEXT THING I
KNEW, BRAD AND ANGELINA ADOPTED ME.
---
Alice: YOU'RE SAYING ANGELINA JOLIE IS YOUR MOM?
Topper: UNTIL I TALKED HER OUT OF BOTTLE FEEDING.
---

2008-01-06 {C}
[Dilbert, (Wally), Topper, Alice]
---
_TOPPER_
Dilbert: I DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
Topper: THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN A MONTH.
---
Dilbert: WOULDN'T THAT KILL YOU?
Topper: IT DID, BUT THAT'S NOTHING.
---
Topper: I SPENT A WEEK IN THE AFTERLIFE, THEN I RETURNED TO THIS WORLD
AS A ZOMBIE.
---
Topper: I TAUGHT MYSELF HOMEOPATHY AND DISCOVERED A CURE FOR ZOMBIES.
---
Topper: NOW I'M ALIVE AGAIN.
---
Dilbert, Alice: (PLEASE BE DONE... PLEASE BE DONE... PLEASE BE
DONE...)
---
Topper: I TOOK PICTURES OF HEAVEN.
Alice: GAAA!!!
---

Tad

[amac44]

This is awesome, thanks.
a