Jokes more on Celebs - by Seung Bum Kim

[Crazy Wax3]

How many rounds does Beckinsale have in Underworld Awakenings? She
has 10 thousand rounds. Steve Jobs looks pretty pissed these days.
His real name is Timebomb. And he set to blow in 3 months time.. time
to defuse it or pay the price. I've known a person who was actually
named Timebomb..so I avoided him at critical moments when I thought
the bomb would detonate in front of me. Russell Crowe in Gladiator is
Russell the Love Muscle..which is also an all-nighter..In Avatar the
main character makes hot love to an appetizing woman..Signorey thinks
he is just fast asleep but he's Actually Fucking. Damon is so full of
shit that the color of his eyes are Brown..Cera masturbates to a latex
Glove but his Mind keeps on getting in the Way..Fassbender jumps
through flaming Hoola Hoops to dodge sin..Seth Rogan's righthand is
permanently welded to hs dick. Brand drinks whiskey and puts a
lighter upon his ass to do flame trick. Burns regresses back to
Galapagos upon the shores of Galapagos. But what he did was actually
good shit. Duvall hangs dog in the patio with a tightrope and later
puts it on a rotisserie. I am spending my off hours to make these
posts..but when it's time to work and to punch in my card my job is to
build the best cities in Sim City 2000..for this pragmatic effort I
was given a Gift by God in building cities in Sim City 2000 for work
purposes..speaking of Zuckerburg..

Jokes more on Celebs - by Seung Bum Kim

In 127 Hours they had to pull James Franco out of the hole but to do
that they had to devise a plan..should we gas the fucker before we
pull him out? Or should we gentlely lift him using rope devices that
support his tender weight? Or do we pour 10 trucks of water into the
hole so he'll simply float out? I say we gas the fucker.. Like I
said, Portman did an Oscar winning performance when she actually
accepted the Oscars..it's still on tape with a ribbon on it.. Zach is
a Gift..he's a piece of Shit with a Ribbon on it. Hey Zach, You're
pretty Funny..Can I shit on Ur Face?? lol..Man on a Ledge asks for
help through 911 in a suicide attempt pleaing for dear life..the cops
bust the door down and press him against the floor with eggs cooking
in the Background.. the penis is a special place that nothing Holy can
touch.. it has an ugly spirit there as I pull on it and examine it for
its secrets..Fundamentalists and Roy's militia..i like these wars with
God on Both sides. I resort to Vonnegut when he said that war is like
putting two insects in a jar and rattling the jar to make them fight
to see how long they last.. throws cat off balcony to see if it ends
up feet first and makes bets on it. They used Crowe's penis in
Tremors..since he already had teeth in it and all..brings new meaning
to the word Cockfight.. Jesse has the iq of the number of bytes in a
Wang Computer..give me more Life..eats Ruth Criss to make comedy
Expand..Gauss had a Gift in his soul for mathematics but it tastes
like papermache..it is thus better to also have taste..which is why I
like Kubrick's old films since they were brilliant movies with taste..
Ebert uses Food intuition to review his movies as such. I need to put
a website with constant stream of comedy so everyday I can afford $5
plate lunch at heights. In Breaking Dawn the romance runs along the
lines of, hey let's spent 3 weeks together and fuck for weeks..talk
about it..and see how it goes.. where does Edwards get the money to
afford a private beach? Is he selling dog snuff or something for $5
bucks a piece? Or is he entering houses and ransacking em by tying
women to their beds so he can run off with his leather mask? Pattison
takes his leather mask off when he's outside..and puts it on when he's
inside of the house with company..tis the tale of the leather
mask..pattison's leather Mask..what you call Straight sex in Shame is
self-masochism..since Fassbender is putting on his muscle suit while
performing those lude actions..to become aware of his manhood which is
also ashamed of..his sister tells him, Don't be ashamed of your own
manhood..express it. Hailee Steinfeld made it big with True Grit..but
she will end up starring in films that Ebert will give a whole No
Stars..she might even star in action movies with Van Damme..also no
stars.. Pattison should invest in a car already..especially one that
doesn't give a flying fuck..Neason is driven to the edge by a pack of
wolves..hey 7 guys against 10 wolves isn't fair enough? Just like in
Blair Witch it was 3 men against one old lady witch? if it was 3 men
against one old lady witch it would actually be male pragmatism..lol..
Cronenburg made the best stuff in Hollywood..there's nothing that
beats either the Brood or Scanners or even Naked Lunch..all of them
share the same disease..how many diseases does Cronenburg have? His
harddrive is infested with a million diseases so he dodges bugs every
fucking minute..if Cronenburg contacts you online then beware of virus
infection.. my guru is in Superstring 47G-D4..his name is
wiseSerpent..have you seen wiseSerpent online? Look for him..he may
be Western history's greatest intellect..he is much hailed as such..he
even stepped into Goth Sites..the dude's level of wisdom is
astronaumical..much like Manson's devilish wisdom..but this guy is
something more exceptional..he's a sick bastard but an exceptional
one..you will be enlightened..how long it takes to develop the
spiritual intellect..but it's worth working hard for..comedy is the
tools i was born with in my soul.. i mean in the Grey the dudes there
didn't even have the sense to pour gasoline in a circle and wait it
out in the middle of it for an oncoming plane.. the first one they
killed provisioned them with meat so they could keep the protein flow
going..and the blood to prevent thirst..and the balls to squeeze on
for courage.. hey when Crystal walks out of the stage he will be in
his car which has balls hanging from the rear view mirror..but he
wouldn't have the balls to look at the rear view mirror in fright of
what might be said of him as the door slams on his Ass..

Jokes more on Movies and Celebs 8 - by Seung Bum Kim

Jesse was throwing a penlight at me..so I just used a mirror to bounce
the Light back into his eye..i know he was fucking with me.. fuck
Robin Williams has two heads already based on his diversity of
Gifts..he is a fricking Double-headed Gila Monsta..how abundant his
spiritual Gifts..what kind of fricking meditation exercise was he
practicing? fuckers a full blown reinassance genius..he drags on his
bean before he goes upstage..the fucker is a lucky man..lol..fuck 5
Gifted tied to each other..no joke. Perhaps he will pick up an Indian
math text and start writing formulas on walls and shit..the dude has
got potential..that's what could be said of him..his potential leads
to comedy more than anything else but he's also been picking up Indian
math texts on his off hours fascinated by Critique of Pure
Reason..Euclid's stuff fascinates me as well..puts 10 people on
computer scripts and activates cellphone command to activate scripts
sending them into 10 terminals that blow up from sudden booting force
to the ^1000000power causing 10 separate explosions as man walks away
using two wifi signals to jam the GPS.. destroys computers through
botnet by using botnet to send diseases and to make dummy systems out
of diseases to do your bidding which is to fuck with yours.. burns cd
to eliminate cd security devices..and many other marvelous secrets..
hey you can send extraneous data to cellphones by script so that it
continually loads as the person tries to recover it distracting him
from your stealth moves just before it is completely jammed.. Jesse
has the sensibilities of a 90s robot but he didn't even figure this
bastard out.. how fucking insane social Network was with Jesse..since
Jesse didn't even fucking have character.. I mentioned the joke on Sim
City 2000 to prove existentialism..take it or leave it. I mean
building empires on the Internet is just as valid as erecting a
statue..fuck this is where i face existential pain..nausea..where the
weight of a spoon diminishes and causes nausea..fuck I laughed at the
Simon Peg glitch in Mission Imp4..it was genuinely funny.. it proves
that great technology also has its shortcomings..even the gloves run
on batteries..there should be batteries that give unlimited power..but
the cost of that would be unlimited money. a latex glove causes more
sin than without it by the way..i can't get reductionist and shit
about it but I can simply know roughly..throws volume transister
sudden to maximum for death by stereo..i like death by stereo..the
headbangers are into death by stereo but it only fuels a person it
doesn't cause resistance..but the thing is Axel thinks he is
daring..even proving it by jumping off the Empire State Building on a
bungee chord..he proves this so many times that eventually according
to probability he'll end up dead in due time..based on probability
there can be mathematical prediction of his demise..since you can't
always end up heads or always tails..let's make bets on how long he
lives for pleasure..to prove my courage I will charge into a enemy
bunker with a knife only to find that he holds a staplegun..now a
staplegun is more frightening than a gun by itself..because it's that
twisted visceral effect..just like using Mr. Clean on the eyeballs to
cleanse it thus wiping away the iris into pure white..Mr. Clean just
in time for Halloween..hey it was said that they when your eyes
twinkle it means you are bright..this may be true but a psycho's eyes
twinkle too..you may turn blue if you are bold. but it may simply
mean you are holding your breath..I am glad Brand produces more
authentic humor..since you wouldn't want to be simply Rotating on
dicks and cunts..surrounded by dicks and cunts..left right all i see
is Seamen.. it's refreshing to see Crystal rip off the Harvard
flagpole to jump over the school Bus with comical genius..rather than
being stuck on dicks..that's terrible..often adjustments must be
made..i mean to avoid dicks as a religion for comedy would be missing
a vital dimension..i am speaking of rotating on dicks..not simply
interjecting a joke on dicks in just one or two lines of humor..Zach
is stuck on dicks..that's fucking crazy..fuck he's all about the
Pole..he's all about the Pole..

Humor for the Masses- by Seung Bum Kim