I warned you you didn't have the skills to take me on. I gave you an opportunity to disprove this with my Jay Leno threads. You not only came up short, you embarrassed yourself and all the other pro comics here.
Now, everyone else here learned from the experience -- they've given me a wide berth. But you're too stupid for that. You think you can actually take me down.
Fine ....
Here's your opportunity. Me and you in this thread, nobody else. Let's see what you got, no bullshit.
The name of the game is insults. You call yourself a pro, prove it.
Little blue-collar idiot. I'm going to make an example out of you.
written insults? This again shows where you are the ultimate putz. What did I SAY? I threw down the gauntlet FIRST dipshit. Not written... you can sit there and formulate anything you want on line.. thats no contest...
I said we do it live. On stage. But what happened? Just like I said: you chickened out like the little wanna be you are.. and then miraculously come up with THIS idea? Do you REALLY think that you are so superior? Obviously you do. Anyone can sit in their room and hurl insults via a computer you middle aged excuse for a success.
No. This time its not on YOUR terms you pathetic worm. You want some of me? Grow a real pair and lets do this on stage... This way you have to FACE ME you worm.
Anything short of that? Shows me that you ARE the lonley, sad little person we all know you are.
> written insults? This again shows where you are the ultimate putz. > What did I SAY? I threw down the gauntlet FIRST dipshit. Not > written... you can sit there and formulate anything you want on line.. > thats no contest...
> I said we do it live. On stage. But what happened? Just like I said: > you chickened out like the little wanna be you are.. and then > miraculously come up with THIS idea? Do you REALLY think that you are > so superior? Obviously you do. Anyone can sit in their room and hurl > insults via a computer you middle aged excuse for a success.
> No. This time its not on YOUR terms you pathetic worm. You want some > of me? Grow a real pair and lets do this on stage... This way you > have to FACE ME you worm.
> Anything short of that? Shows me that you ARE the lonley, sad little > person we all know you are.
This is you being much better than this than me? Asking how many zeros in the box that says Education? Um.. moron? Thats not funny nor does it make any sense...
You see dimwit.. on any application where it asks for education? It has the levels printed: high school some college no college etc.
Where does your 'zeros' fit in?
It doesnt.. you see you're not funny nor are you ironical, sardonic or even remotely witty.
In your own MIND you seem to think you are soooooo good at this... but again. Youre not.
the hell of it ? Is that a new phrase I haven't heard of..
Oh right.. thats just the way a bitch screams when he's angry and his mind is all a flutter... akin to a newbie open mic'er flubbing when someone in the audience interrupts his phenominal new dick joke.
You're losing the battle on here who thought you were so good at Ric....
Put up in person and go face to face with me so I can humiliate you in person... but we know that wont happen. You're the stereotypical internet brave boy. A gladiator behind a keyboard... a pimplefaced 44 year old Lord of the Rings fanatic who names his pets after obscure galaxies on Star Trek in real life.
Keep going though.. its funny to see how you think you are better at this... thanks for the warning.. I needed something to do at the hotel today.. (You see.. I am a working comic who does real comedy... I am not a public radio DJ who introduces 60s folk music tunes for a half hour during my 'on air' shift like you.)
JJayBoyd wrote: > the hell of it ? Is that a new phrase I haven't heard of..
> Oh right.. thats just the way a bitch screams when he's angry and his > mind is all a flutter... akin to a newbie open mic'er flubbing when > someone in the audience interrupts his phenominal new dick joke.
> You're losing the battle on here who thought you were so good at > Ric....
> Put up in person and go face to face with me so I can humiliate you in > person... but we know that wont happen. You're the stereotypical > internet brave boy. A gladiator behind a keyboard... a pimplefaced 44 > year old Lord of the Rings fanatic who names his pets after obscure > galaxies on Star Trek in real life.
> Keep going though.. its funny to see how you think you are better at > this... thanks for the warning.. I needed something to do at the hotel > today.. (You see.. I am a working comic who does real comedy... I am > not a public radio DJ who introduces 60s folk music tunes for a half > hour during my 'on air' shift like you.)
> JJayBoyd
Sure, JJ, sure.
One question, though: besides hanging sheet rock, what else did they teach you in the Job Corps?
Oh boy... you really are good at this. LOLOLOLOLOL
This is what happens when a small fish from a nowhere pond plays with the big boys: he realizes that he doesnt have anywhere NEAR the 'talent' he thought he did.
Ric.. you SUCK at this. Plain and simple. You neither know how to put somenoe down.. nor are you funny in any way.
YOU STILL have yet to even publically try to squirm out of the REAL challenge.. putting your crap where your stupid pie hole mouth is and going 5 minutes one on one in real life...
but again.. you've been exposed at the fraud you are. You dont have any discernable comedic ability... you dont have one ounce of humor or intellect enough to 'put anyone down' ...
You are as I have maintained from the beginning: a nothing. Nothing job... nothing life at 44... nothing to show for all the years of mediocrity except a few lame attempts to put me, the big bad wolf, in his place. And such insipid harmless attempts they were at that little boy.
You can continue on being my room bitch... at least that is something you are very good at.
JJayBoyd wrote: > Oh boy... you really are good at this. LOLOLOLOLOL
> This is what happens when a small fish from a nowhere pond plays with > the big boys: he realizes that he doesnt have anywhere NEAR the > 'talent' he thought he did.
> Ric.. you SUCK at this. Plain and simple. You neither know how to put > somenoe down.. nor are you funny in any way.
> YOU STILL have yet to even publically try to squirm out of the REAL > challenge.. putting your crap where your stupid pie hole mouth is and > going 5 minutes one on one in real life...
> but again.. you've been exposed at the fraud you are. You dont have > any discernable comedic ability... you dont have one ounce of humor or > intellect enough to 'put anyone down' ...
> You are as I have maintained from the beginning: a nothing. Nothing > job... nothing life at 44... nothing to show for all the years of > mediocrity except a few lame attempts to put me, the big bad wolf, in > his place. And such insipid harmless attempts they were at that little > boy.
> You can continue on being my room bitch... at least that is something > you are very good at.
> JJayBoyd
Look at it, Dear Readers ...
Ten-thousand years of civilization and somehow this chest-beating chimp slips through the cracks.
Honestly, JJ, do they pay you in check or in bananas?
The frightening thing here is that you honestly think you are good at this. Chest beating chimp? I do recall you admonishing me for the use of old and tired 'themes'.. and this is your idea of 'cutting edge'?
Paying my checks in bananas? wow man... Who has been telling you that you are so good at this?
to play along with your Darwnian theme: in the great eveolutionary scheme of things when it comes to being able to play with the big boys? You are the primordial slime of mc's trying to get a single cell chuckle in the gene pool with the lame and tired "just swam in from (insert your lame ass city here) and boy are my arms tired"... and thinking you are among the elite leaving the waters to roam in the open air.
You are nothing... but again.. you still havent mentioned my challenge to you about meeting face to face... It shows that you are deathly frightened to be exposed in reality. You have been thoroughly beaten here time and time again... now I just want to verbally admonish you and emotionally crush you live... You dont have the guts, wits or moral fortitude to do it.. but Ill keep bringing it up because you keep ignoring it.. exposing yourself as the lame ass NPR 44 year old nothing you are.
Bananas.. wow. You wouldnt last 3 minutes on a stage with real hecklers... you have all the time in the world to 'prepare' on here and you still come up with sad little come backs. Tsk Tsk Tsk.
Your were right.. you are squeaky clean... your feeble comeback and comedy attempts arent even tarnished with the slightest hint of laughter or intellect.
JJayBoyd wrote: > The frightening thing here is that you honestly think you are good at > this. Chest beating chimp? I do recall you admonishing me for the use > of old and tired 'themes'.. and this is your idea of 'cutting edge'?
> Paying my checks in bananas? wow man... Who has been telling you that > you are so good at this?
> to play along with your Darwnian theme: in the great eveolutionary > scheme of things when it comes to being able to play with the big boys? > You are the primordial slime of mc's trying to get a single cell > chuckle in the gene pool with the lame and tired "just swam in from > (insert your lame ass city here) and boy are my arms tired"... and > thinking you are among the elite leaving the waters to roam in the open > air.
> You are nothing... but again.. you still havent mentioned my challenge > to you about meeting face to face... It shows that you are deathly > frightened to be exposed in reality. You have been thoroughly beaten > here time and time again... now I just want to verbally admonish you > and emotionally crush you live... You dont have the guts, wits or moral > fortitude to do it.. but Ill keep bringing it up because you keep > ignoring it.. exposing yourself as the lame ass NPR 44 year old nothing > you are.
> Bananas.. wow. You wouldnt last 3 minutes on a stage with real > hecklers... you have all the time in the world to 'prepare' on here > and you still come up with sad little come backs. Tsk Tsk Tsk.
> Your were right.. you are squeaky clean... your feeble comeback and > comedy attempts arent even tarnished with the slightest hint of > laughter or intellect.
> JJayBoyd
You know, JJ, I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering when you're going to write some fresh material.
You've said the same thing in the last 10 posts.
And how about a gag every now and then just for form's sake?
Remember: you're a highly paid comic genius, right?
>>>The frightening thing here is that you honestly think you are good at >>>this. Chest beating chimp? I do recall you admonishing me for the use >>>of old and tired 'themes'.. and this is your idea of 'cutting edge'?
>>>Paying my checks in bananas? wow man... Who has been telling you that >>>you are so good at this?
>>>to play along with your Darwnian theme: in the great eveolutionary >>>scheme of things when it comes to being able to play with the big boys? >>> You are the primordial slime of mc's trying to get a single cell >>>chuckle in the gene pool with the lame and tired "just swam in from >>>(insert your lame ass city here) and boy are my arms tired"... and >>>thinking you are among the elite leaving the waters to roam in the open >>>air.
>>>You are nothing... but again.. you still havent mentioned my challenge >>>to you about meeting face to face... It shows that you are deathly >>>frightened to be exposed in reality. You have been thoroughly beaten >>>here time and time again... now I just want to verbally admonish you >>>and emotionally crush you live... You dont have the guts, wits or moral >>>fortitude to do it.. but Ill keep bringing it up because you keep >>>ignoring it.. exposing yourself as the lame ass NPR 44 year old nothing >>>you are.
>>>Bananas.. wow. You wouldnt last 3 minutes on a stage with real >>>hecklers... you have all the time in the world to 'prepare' on here >>>and you still come up with sad little come backs. Tsk Tsk Tsk.
>>>Your were right.. you are squeaky clean... your feeble comeback and >>>comedy attempts arent even tarnished with the slightest hint of >>>laughter or intellect.
>>>JJayBoyd
>>You know, JJ, I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering when you're going >>to write some fresh material.
>>You've said the same thing in the last 10 posts.
>>And how about a gag every now and then just for form's sake?
>>Remember: you're a highly paid comic genius, right?
>>ricland
> Show me one professional comic in here that actually posts ANY material, let > alone "fresh."
> Amateurs are a waste of time!
> JJayBoyd
I gave you an opportunity to join in the discussion about Leno's racism; you made a complete fool of yourself there. Then I gave you an opportunity to engage in clever repartee --Zoooooom, right over your head. And now right here in this thread I gave you an opportunity to show us your gag-writing skills -- skills you beat your chest and bellow about every chance you get -- but do you write one gag?
no ...
Nothing except the same whining mantra about how I'm not a paid comic post after post.
What's the problem?
Why the cognitive dissonance?
Do you want people to think you're as stupid as I've been telling them all along?
>>>>>The frightening thing here is that you honestly think you are good at >>>>>this. Chest beating chimp? I do recall you admonishing me for the use >>>>>of old and tired 'themes'.. and this is your idea of 'cutting edge'?
>>>>>Paying my checks in bananas? wow man... Who has been telling you that >>>>>you are so good at this?
>>>>>to play along with your Darwnian theme: in the great eveolutionary >>>>>scheme of things when it comes to being able to play with the big boys? >>>>>You are the primordial slime of mc's trying to get a single cell >>>>>chuckle in the gene pool with the lame and tired "just swam in from >>>>>(insert your lame ass city here) and boy are my arms tired"... and >>>>>thinking you are among the elite leaving the waters to roam in the open >>>>>air.
>>>>>You are nothing... but again.. you still havent mentioned my challenge >>>>>to you about meeting face to face... It shows that you are deathly >>>>>frightened to be exposed in reality. You have been thoroughly beaten >>>>>here time and time again... now I just want to verbally admonish you >>>>>and emotionally crush you live... You dont have the guts, wits or moral >>>>>fortitude to do it.. but Ill keep bringing it up because you keep >>>>>ignoring it.. exposing yourself as the lame ass NPR 44 year old nothing >>>>>you are.
>>>>>Bananas.. wow. You wouldnt last 3 minutes on a stage with real >>>>>hecklers... you have all the time in the world to 'prepare' on here >>>>>and you still come up with sad little come backs. Tsk Tsk Tsk.
>>>>>Your were right.. you are squeaky clean... your feeble comeback and >>>>>comedy attempts arent even tarnished with the slightest hint of >>>>>laughter or intellect.
>>>>>JJayBoyd
>>>>You know, JJ, I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering when you're going >>>>to write some fresh material.
>>>>You've said the same thing in the last 10 posts.
>>>>And how about a gag every now and then just for form's sake?
>>>>Remember: you're a highly paid comic genius, right?
>>>>ricland
>>>Show me one professional comic in here that actually posts ANY material, let >>>alone "fresh."
>>>Amateurs are a waste of time!
>>>JJayBoyd
>>I gave you an opportunity to join in the discussion about Leno's racism; >>you made a complete fool of yourself there. Then I gave you an >>opportunity to engage in clever repartee --Zoooooom, right over your >>head. And now right here in this thread I gave you an opportunity to >>show us your gag-writing skills -- skills you beat your chest and bellow >>about every chance you get -- but do you write one gag?
>>no ...
>>Nothing except the same whining mantra about how I'm not a paid comic >>post after post.
>>What's the problem?
>>Why the cognitive dissonance?
>>Do you want people to think you're as stupid as I've been telling them >>all along?
>>Is that it, JJ?
>>ricland
>>(warning I'm much better at this than you are)
> Actually, I really like it when people that are "so much better" than me don't > have enough balls to actually get on stage and ask for payment for their > perceived talent, these are usually the drunk hecklers in the crowd...even they > show more talent than you, because THEY SHOW UP IN PERSON.
> JJayBoyd
That's it for you, JJ.
No hard feelings, but read the threads -- you're beginning to embarrass other pro comics.
That means if I keep making you look stupid I'll create more enemies than I already have.
thats right kids... you saw it here first: Ric is giving up... and to do it? He is attempting to turn it around to make it look like its ME LOLOLOL.
Oh shit man.. you are worthy of a pathetic laugh at least... You really are delusional.. first in thinking you could even come CLOSE to 'beating' me.. and then for actually thinking you could be the voice of real comics!! BWAHAHAHA.
Face it loser boy.. you never explained why Leno was a racist.. you never did 'teach me a lesson' and now you're giving up.
Your trail of failure stretches for miles...
OH yeah.. and you haven't the balls to try to take on a real comic one on one to prove how truly funny you are.. (that would be because in a place deep inside you you maybe MAYBE know that you AREN'T funny...)
you is my biatch now boy.
keep it comming.. I am having a great laugh at your expense...
> thats right kids... you saw it here first: Ric is giving up... and to > do it? He is attempting to turn it around to make it look like its ME > LOLOLOL.
> Oh shit man.. you are worthy of a pathetic laugh at least... You > really are delusional.. first in thinking you could even come CLOSE to > 'beating' me.. and then for actually thinking you could be the voice of > real comics!! BWAHAHAHA.
> Face it loser boy.. you never explained why Leno was a racist.. you > never did 'teach me a lesson' and now you're giving up.
> Your trail of failure stretches for miles...
> OH yeah.. and you haven't the balls to try to take on a real comic one > on one to prove how truly funny you are.. (that would be because in a > place deep inside you you maybe MAYBE know that you AREN'T funny...)
> you is my biatch now boy.
> keep it comming.. I am having a great laugh at your expense...
> LOLOL
> JJayBoyd
Still don't get it do you, JJ?
Look, you -- a pro comic -- didn't write one gag. And that's all the exercise was about. But instead of showing us your skill, you decided to do Bill Cosby monologues -- and worse: repeat them over and over.
And this is not to say my gags were quality, because they most certainly were not. But they were gags and not the long-winded streams of consciousness you kept boring everybody to death with.
Bottom line, you didn't carry your end of this bargain. Presumably, you understand the technical aspect of humor --target, hostility, realism, exaggeration, emotion, surprise, etc. -- and how to construct a gag -- setup, twist, punchline -- but for some bewildering reason you never bothered to show us why people pay money to make them laugh.
That's like a pro boxer getting in the ring with an amateur and wrestling him instead of knocking his block off.
More the reason why the pro comics here wanted you to shut up: you were embarassing.
Conclusion: You lost -- and not because I write better gags then you, but because you weren't bright enough to figure out what was going on and adapt.
face it bitch.. you lost. plain and simple... no matter how you dement it.. you lost.. I didnt do Bill Cosby's stuff..
the only embarassing thing here is that you still continue to say "I won".. LOL thats funny.. YOU dont get it that the pro comics are saying stop because they realize that beating up on a poor slob like you isnt proving to be anything other than a waste of band with on here.
I didnt adapt? Oh yeah... hard to adapt to banana put downs.
Face it. You are a nothing.. and that bothers you... YOU? bother EVERYONE with your stupidity and lame attempts at whatever it is you do.
Again.. you think just because you say something that makes it so.. ala Jay Leno is a racist.. was that correct? not even CLOSE.. but anyone who attempts to correct you is apparently beneath your supposed AMAZING mental capacity... of course youre the only one who thinks so..
but again.. you are too little a man to accept a REAL challenge and go face to face... You have to keep trying to put me down in every thread you post on somehow proving how smart you are... You cant face me in person.. you cannot manage to post any kind of 'put down' that is either funny or makes any kind of sense... and your inability to admit that makes you a sad commentary...
You lose. In ALL aspects of your life dude.
Funny how you talk about realism exaggeration, emotion, suprise, etc.. you seem to be able to write ABOUT THIS.. but not able to write anything that includes them.... You are book smart about comedy.. but you cant do it.. therefore you in your own self inflated ego think you are better than anyone.. and in reality you are just another in a long line of internet losers with no life who use this thing just to try to feel better about their meaningless little existences.
You are textbook dude.. totally textbook.
And I love the fact that I have gotten into your head enough so that you have to post about me in any and everything you do...
As far as people paying me to do what I do? Yes they do.. unlike you doing public radio....
youre a sad little man... meet me face to face if you ever grow a pair.. come see me after a show... First wipe the egg off your face and maybe Ill give you a T shirt out of sympathy.
Keep trying to write stuff... im sure one day someone else will tell you you're funny.
Ric Landers wrote: > Look, you -- a pro comic -- didn't write one gag. And that's all the > exercise was about. But instead of showing us your skill, you decided to > do Bill Cosby monologues -- and worse: repeat them over and over.
> And this is not to say my gags were quality, because they most certainly > were not. But they were gags and not the long-winded streams of > consciousness you kept boring everybody to death with.
> Conclusion: You lost -- and not because I write better gags then you, > but because you weren't bright enough to figure out what was going on > and adapt.
Well, besides the fact that JJ is a real comic and you're just a troll named Professor Marvel, you lose because you used the word "gag"..and you used it repeatedly. It's a dead give away that when it comes to standup comedy you are totally clueless.
JJayBoyd wrote: > face it bitch.. you lost. plain and simple... no matter how you dement > it.. you lost.. I didnt do Bill Cosby's stuff..
> the only embarassing thing here is that you still continue to say "I > won".. LOL thats funny.. YOU dont get it that the pro comics are > saying stop because they realize that beating up on a poor slob like > you isnt proving to be anything other than a waste of band with on > here.
> I didnt adapt? Oh yeah... hard to adapt to banana put downs.
> Face it. You are a nothing.. and that bothers you... YOU? bother > EVERYONE with your stupidity and lame attempts at whatever it is you > do.
> Again.. you think just because you say something that makes it so.. ala > Jay Leno is a racist.. was that correct? not even CLOSE.. but anyone > who attempts to correct you is apparently beneath your supposed AMAZING > mental capacity... of course youre the only one who thinks so..
> but again.. you are too little a man to accept a REAL challenge and go > face to face... You have to keep trying to put me down in every thread > you post on somehow proving how smart you are... You cant face me in > person.. you cannot manage to post any kind of 'put down' that is > either funny or makes any kind of sense... and your inability to admit > that makes you a sad commentary...
> You lose. In ALL aspects of your life dude.
> Funny how you talk about realism exaggeration, emotion, suprise, etc.. > you seem to be able to write ABOUT THIS.. but not able to write > anything that includes them.... You are book smart about comedy.. but > you cant do it.. therefore you in your own self inflated ego think you > are better than anyone.. and in reality you are just another in a long > line of internet losers with no life who use this thing just to try to > feel better about their meaningless little existences.
> You are textbook dude.. totally textbook.
> And I love the fact that I have gotten into your head enough so that > you have to post about me in any and everything you do...
> As far as people paying me to do what I do? Yes they do.. unlike you > doing public radio....
> youre a sad little man... meet me face to face if you ever grow a > pair.. come see me after a show... First wipe the egg off your face > and maybe Ill give you a T shirt out of sympathy.
> Keep trying to write stuff... im sure one day someone else will tell > you you're funny.
> JJayBoyd
JJ, get a clue.
Why do people pay money to see you? They pay money to see you because you take ideas and do things with them ... creative things, things that make them laugh.
Which is what comics do -- they produce humor, they spend as much effort trying to produce the perfect gag as Michaelangelo spent producing La Pieta.
But you weren't doing that. You were and continue to give us raw data without the structure and formula that turn raw data into humor, which, of course, points to the clueless person you truly are.
A hallmark of high intelligence is the ability to adapt, make associations, produce new things with old skills, but you aren't able to do this.
You're a one-trick pony, a ham 'n' egger, a blue-collar comic like I've been saying all along ...
>>Look, you -- a pro comic -- didn't write one gag. And that's all the >>exercise was about. But instead of showing us your skill, you decided
> to
>>do Bill Cosby monologues -- and worse: repeat them over and over.
>>And this is not to say my gags were quality, because they most
> certainly
>>were not. But they were gags and not the long-winded streams of >>consciousness you kept boring everybody to death with.
>>Conclusion: You lost -- and not because I write better gags then you,
>>but because you weren't bright enough to figure out what was going on
>>and adapt.
> Well, besides the fact that JJ is a real comic and you're just a troll > named Professor Marvel, you lose because you used the word "gag"..and > you used it repeatedly. It's a dead give away that when it comes to > standup comedy you are totally clueless.
JJayBoyd wrote: > This is you being much better than this than me? Asking how many zeros > in the box that says Education? Um.. moron? Thats not funny nor does > it make any sense...
> You see dimwit.. on any application where it asks for education? It > has the levels printed: > high school > some college > no college > etc.
> Where does your 'zeros' fit in?
> It doesnt.. you see you're not funny nor are you ironical, sardonic or > even remotely witty.
> In your own MIND you seem to think you are soooooo good at this... but > again. Youre not.
> Put up in person bitch.
> JJayBoyd
And now he takes a silly gag I wrote and rants and raves about how it's silly.
Of course, it's silly --it was supposed to be silly, dummkopf.
Get a grip, man. You really have gone off the deep end. You're ranting and raving like a maniac. That's not art. That's not what clever repartee is about. You're responding with emotion instead of your brain. You're making a spectacle of yourself every time you post.
You're making yourself look far more stupid than I could ever do.
It's about creativity and art, not about going bat-shit.
Put down your club and learn how to use the scalpel the way I do.
> dont look now? But look at how long your responses have gotten? Who > is ranting? LOL
> Thats right lame boy!!! YOU.
> Continue to think you're superior.... its funny to see a sad person in > denial like you are.
> JJayBoyd
Denial about what?
Obviously, writing is not your forte. You just don't get it. You think because you're a pro comic your talent should translate to the written word -- well, it doesn't.
Your responses have been low-grade, knuckle-dragging fare.
First, there's your limited vocabulary: you can't string two sentences together without using profanity. Second, you have the imagination of a bus driver: you keep taking us over the same route.
Study my posts; learn what the art of writing is all about. Lean what discipline and critical thinking is all about. Learn how to harness your imagination and direct it to high concept things instead of the schlock you've managed to eke out an existence with.
You'll improve immeasurably as an artist.
Bottom line you haven't been doing art here. You haven't tried to pen the perfect gag. You haven't tried anything new. You've closed your mind to all of this because you think as a pro comic all of it is inferior to what you do.
And you drink too much too, don't you? And that's what alcohol does, you know -- it takes the child-like desire to learn new things and burns it away.
