Still More from "HICKS LIVE 1983"!
Dr. Strangemonde
bits from the never-issued, never-bootlegged "Hicks '83" CD:
NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS -- HERE'S BILLHICKS!
My folks wanted me to be a doctor... THAT obviously did not work out.
I graduated 417 out of a class of 427, head of the Special Ed class
and the AC/DC Fan Club. Oh, I'm on the highway to hell, baby!
I like rock and roll, though. I especially like punk rock... Well, I
don't like the MUSIC, but I like the PEOPLE in it. I RESPECT them.
Most people are like: "Yeah, I don't like Reagan, but that's life..."
They've got no spine!
Punk rockers are like: "Yeah, I don't like Reagan... SO I THINK I'LL
STICK A BONE UP ME ASS!!!"
Damn! This guy does NOT like the man!!!
But these people with the green and purple hair -- where do they work
during the day? I mean, have you ever been at a Denny's and got a
purple hair in your salad?
But I do like punk rock. Country & western evades me -- the beat goes
nowhere, it's so depressing... It's just:
"De-doop-de-dern -- Muh wife left me!
De-doop-de-dern -- Muh house burned down!
De-doop-de-dern -- Muh dog bit muh dick!
De-doop-de-dern -- I lost muh job as a surveyor's assistant..."
De-doop-de-dern... YOU'RE IN A RUT!
Boy, at least punk rock is: "F*ck you f*ck you f*ck you f*ck you f*ck
you f*ck you!!!"
YEAH!!! These guys have something to SAY!!! There's a point of view!
There's a DIRECTION!!!
- BH
__________________________________________________________________________
SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM!
Can I bum a cigarette from you? I left mine in the machine... Really,
can I? What are you smoking?
"VANTAGE"?!? Jesus Christ!
Wait a minute, dude... what are YOU smoking?
OH, MY GOD!!! "BENSON & HEDGES 100 DELUXE ULTRA LIGHTS"!?!
That's like saying "I'm a man, BUT. . . !"
C'mon! If you're gonna smoke these things, smoke the REAL
m*therf*ckers!
Then again, I don't know why I do it anymore -- these things are $1.25
a pack! I could play "Centipede" FIVE TIMES for that kind of money!!!
They asked Eubie Blake, the great jazz pianist, how he lived to be
100. He said by smoking a pack a day. I swear to God, man, I think I
got two or three hundred years coming! Shit, smoke a carton and wait
for the millennium -- I'm not done!
- BH
__________________________________________________________________________
APT 4 RNT: ENTER THROUGH REAR!
I live in the Montrose area of Houston, which is a predominantly gay
area. But hey, the apartments there are so cheap I HAD to do it...
Mine is only ten blow jobs a month!
Shit, I need the calories!!!
Now hang on!!! Hey, I have nothing against homosexuals -- I just know
that I could never take part in a sexual activity that disrupts my
bowel movements...
Who knows. Maybe I'm just growing up? Regularity is more important
than lust is to me now...
You drinkers know what I'm talking about! If I have a solid shit, that
pretty much makes my day:
"Hey, I'm HEALTHY!"
- BH
__________________________________________________________________________
MEN'S DAYS & LADIES' NIGHTS
Women are responsible for everything we see when we wake up in the
morning. They're responsible for technological advances, scientific
advances -- they're responsible for EVERYTHING!
You are, ladies! Men do most of the work, but ladies MAKE us do it,
because we're slaves to our dicks! If women didn't exist, men would
be in caves to this day, naked and jerking off!
We really don't care about achieving, ladies, if you want the honest
truth:
"What? Go build a city for TOM? I think I'll stay in the cave today!"
- BH
__________________________________________________________________________
I think that's enough for now...
- Dr Strangemonde
...OK, I tell you what: I'll end w/the COMPLETE version of a bit that
got clipped before:
_________________________________________________________________________
SHORT(s) AND SWEET(s)
Y'know what would really suck? Finding out you're diabetic while going
down on a girl wearing candy panties:
"She thought I was gettin' into it -- I was having a SEIZURE!!!"
Yep... she comes ten times, and meanwhile I'm in a coma with Spandex
hanging outta my mouth!
Really, though -- I went on a picnic once with a girl wearing candy
panties -- the ants carried her off!!!
- BH
Covenant
We hate you so much !!....
; '))))
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY isn't this OOOOUUTTTT there !?!?!?!?!??!!?
--
Covenant
A Man Asking The Inevitable.....
"Dr. Strangemonde" <dan...@realtime.net> wrote in message
news:9b7ccc59-c28d-46a6...@i20g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
Mr. Sophistication
> For all you poor bored waffle waitresses out there, here's a few more
> bits from the never-issued, never-bootlegged "Hicks '83" CD:
Thanks, you tantalizing bastard....
Cosmo
jn
> For all you poor bored waffle waitresses out there, here's a few more
> bits from the never-issued, never-bootlegged "Hicks '83" CD:
>
Jacob