Are there any Christian Feminists here? I'd like to here from you all.
It is more like a war zone than a chat group! Makes me nervous, I don't
mind saying!
~~~~~="=~~~~~
mary bradshaw
Mary is that like asking if there are Christian drug pushes here?
(well maybe not quite that bad) If you are married and are a
Christain God as told you to submit to your husband and if you do not
you are rebellion agaist your husband and most of all to God. I have
to love my wife like Christ loves the church and that is not always
easy for me but as I yield myself to Him, as I submit to HIM it is
easier. My wife is not a Christian yet I still have to do my part even
if she does not do her part.
Read Eph 5: 22 through 33 Yes men have there part to has I told you.
> tet...@my-deja.com, said
> > I have
> >to love my wife like Christ loves the church and that is not always
> >easy for me but as I yield myself to Him, as I submit to HIM it is
> >easier.
>
> Wake up.
>
> <FNORD>
> As a child you were introduced to your church. You had no option but to
> embrace it. If you had not embraced your church, would then your parents
> have embraced you? No, they would/could not. It is 'conditional love' -
> that was the tool used to mould your thinking. Your thinking, you will
> find, is an ever so mild evolution of your parents thinking. Breaking
> free, exiting our dilemma is almost impossible - but not impossible. It
> will be the most difficult thing you do.
> </FNORD>
>
> Wake up.
>
> Cheerio then,
>
Jesus died so that your sins would be forgotten.
She is the only way to God, stupid.
Oh yes, She was a woman - and we have proof at our church!
Alleluia!!
~~~~~="=~~~~~
mary bradshaw
> > Mary is that like asking if there are Christian drug pushes here?
Sorry. There was so much bad language I saw.
> > (well maybe not quite that bad) If you are married and are a
> > Christain God as told you to submit to your husband and if you do not
> > you are rebellion agaist your husband and most of all to God. I have
> > to love my wife like Christ loves the church and that is not always
> > easy for me but as I yield myself to Him, as I submit to HIM it is
> > easier. My wife is not a Christian yet I still have to do my part even
> > if she does not do her part.
I'll pray for her to accept Jesus :-)
Are there any more of us christian femmes here Nike?
~~~~~="=~~~~~
mary bradshaw
> Jesus died so that your sins would be forgotten.
>
> She is the only way to God, stupid.
> Oh yes, She was a woman - and we have proof at our church!
>
I guess they have Jesus's mummified left breast or something. Neato.
>tet...@my-deja.com, said
>> I have
>>to love my wife like Christ loves the church and that is not always
>>easy for me but as I yield myself to Him, as I submit to HIM it is
>>easier.
>
> Wake up.
>
><FNORD>
>As a child you were introduced to your church. You had no option but to
>embrace it. If you had not embraced your church, would then your parents
>have embraced you? No, they would/could not. It is 'conditional love' -
>that was the tool used to mould your thinking. Your thinking, you will
>find, is an ever so mild evolution of your parents thinking. Breaking
>free, exiting our dilemma is almost impossible - but not impossible. It
>will be the most difficult thing you do.
></FNORD>
>
> Wake up.
>
Wasn't hard for me. As a side effect though, my entire family stopped
going to church. They want to, but they don't. I don't know why.
-><-
Madog, Keeper of Bobo the Chimp
Lord of Petty Annoyances
Space Lord,
Ambrose Bierce Mexican Travel Agency Cabal
http://members.xoom.com/ABMTAC
http://www.eriswerks.org
-><-
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
-><-
>
>Jesus died so that your sins would be forgotten.
>
>She is the only way to God, stupid.
>Oh yes, She was a woman - and we have proof at our church!
>
We have proof that not only was Jesus a woman, but the daughter of the
god Mars and a 12 year old Hebrew prostitute.
> Madog Velkor chorttled merrily:
>
>
> >
> >Jesus died so that your sins would be forgotten.
> >
> >She is the only way to God, stupid.
> >Oh yes, She was a woman - and we have proof at our church!
> >
>
> We have proof that not only was Jesus a woman, but the daughter of the
> god Mars and a 12 year old Hebrew prostitute.
>
Jesus was forced into prostitution partly by a patrirchal society and partly
out of a desire to heal men. If some men do not see prostitutes, then they
go around raping women and beating their wives. Jesus wanted to limit this.
Jesus was the daughter of THE GOD not one of many assorted Roman Deities.
~~~~~="=~~~~~
mary bradshaw
Why not cut out the middle deity and go with a Goddess from the get
go?
NightMist
He was a man -- and a great men; very much unlike most (but not all!)
modern American men. When he spoke up about sexual violations, he was
"politically incorrect", since nearly all Roman soldiers had regular
relations with prostitutes. But unlike modern feminists, who tolerate
opposing views, Romans killed anyone, who opposed them.
Even today, there are men, who speak up against the growing attack on
women (look at this newsgroup):
1) http://www.uusocialjustice.org/Issues/MenAgainstViolence.htm
The "Torrid" Shroud...
-----
Pope Illustrious Skidoo, Captain of Cheerios,
Eater of White Bread and Sometimes Wheat,
Liker of Eggs Overeasy with Bacon and Sausage,
Orange Juice and 2% Milk, ECT, KSC, Esq.
I kinda slowly phased out church from my family :) We used to go all
the time when we were younger, now I won't step foot in one and my
folks at home rarely if ever go. But they still believe in god, and I
don't
think I could dare tell them that I don't (really)-- It would break
their poor
li'l hearts I think. Strange this is the only topic that seems to
skirt
conversation...
-----
Pope Agnostic Skidoo
I guess mary's theory would have Jesus as the patron (matron? could
this get confusing or what!?!) god of cross dressers!
Interesting statement for a catholic to make: Jesus was like other
men...
> When he spoke up about sexual violations
uhuh and what passage of the bible refers to this?
>, he was "politically
> incorrect", since nearly all Roman soldiers had regular
> relations with prostitutes. But unlike modern feminists, who tolerate
> opposing views, Romans killed anyone, who opposed them.
I suppose drowning opposing voices in a sea of jeers, catcalls and
white noise for the sole purpose of preventing opposing voices from
being heard qualifies as "tolerance" when compared with killing people
who oppose you. Actually allowing opposing voices to be heard would be
better. Feminism has yet to figure out how to manage to remain silent
while someone expresses an idea they don't approve of though.
> Even today, there are men, who speak up against the growing
>attack on women (look at this newsgroup):
There is no attack on women. Attacks on feminist bigotry abound,
however.
[snip]
>
>> Do you believe, as Mary does, that Jesus was a woman?
>
> He was a man -- and a great men; very much unlike most (but not all!)
>modern American men. When he spoke up about sexual violations, he was
>"politically incorrect", since nearly all Roman soldiers had regular
>relations with prostitutes. But unlike modern feminists, who tolerate
>opposing views, Romans killed anyone, who opposed them.
>
Not true. The Romans were very tolerant. All they asked was that you
add the Emperor to the Gods you worship, for the greater glory of the
Empire. Every place conquered by the Romans benifited massively. The
only place that didn't was Judea, since the natives refused to obey
Roman law. The Romans were violent and often brutal, but they were
always tolerant as long as your practices didn't hurt the Empire.
somebody please wake me up...
news:bV4MmKAe...@heirophant.freeserve.co.uk...
>
> This is all bollocks.
>
> How can feminism and Christianity be compatible.
>
> Get a life Mary Bradshaw. Church on Sunday; feminazidom through the
> week. Jesus would despise feminists.
>
> In-com-pat-ible!
>
> tet...@my-deja.com, said
> >In article <JgZY7aAY...@heirophant.freeserve.co.uk>,
> > mary bradshaw<mary.b...@mary.bradshaw.co.uk> wrote:
> >>
> >> Hello Everyone,
> >>
> >> Are there any Christian Feminists here? I'd like to here from you all.
> >>
> >> It is more like a war zone than a chat group! Makes me nervous, I
> >don't
> >> mind saying!
> >>
> >> ~~~~~="=~~~~~
> >> mary bradshaw
> >
> > Mary is that like asking if there are Christian drug pushes here?
> >(well maybe not quite that bad) If you are married and are a
> >Christain God as told you to submit to your husband and if you do not
> >you are rebellion agaist your husband and most of all to God. I have
> >to love my wife like Christ loves the church and that is not always
> >easy for me but as I yield myself to Him, as I submit to HIM it is
> >easier. My wife is not a Christian yet I still have to do my part even
> >if she does not do her part.
> >
> >Read Eph 5: 22 through 33 Yes men have there part to has I told you.
> >When both do their parts them marriage is truly heaven sent. Both have
> >their basic human emotional needs met fully,
> >
> >For other ideas on this look at Concerned Women for America
> >http://cwfa.org/
> >
> >This other site is by a woman and address this issue Please look at it!
> >
> >
> >> http://www.stirling.u-net.com/abgender.htm
> >
> >
> >Ken
> >--
> >ALL WE ARE ASKING IS FOR FAIR AND EQUAL TREATMENT
> >FOR ALL
> >WITHOUT DOUBLE STANDARDS THE FEMINST MOVEMENT WOULD NOT EXIST!
> >
> >
> >Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
> >Before you buy.
>
> --
> Brother Johnny Flowerpotman
> Guardian of the Magdellan Pouch /(o\
> Star Messenger (Populous of Ummo) \o)/
> N. Fra: A:.A:.
>
> "... for the ram, by nature, is a wild and courageous animal,
> lonely in lonely places, whereas when tamed and made to lie down
> in green pastures, nothing is left but the docile, cowardly,
> gregarious and succulent beast. This then is the theory of
> government."
> Aleister Crowley, Book of Thoth, p.77 - The Emperor.
>
Who wrote it?
Sorry Madog, but i dont buy that. Any invasion, even one with the natives
best interests in mind (which they all seem to) causes problems. As soon as
you become part of a larger empire you become a pawn of that empire; Korean
war mean anything to you?
Plus the invading forces are generally more fucked up than the invadees.
When the 'colonists' (invaders) first landed in this once great country,
they immediately set about destroying the native culture and replacing it
with one that was evolved to suit England.
It was a bit different with the Romans. The Romans only really cared
about the urban centers. They left the peassants mostly to themselves.
In Europe this resulted in Romans building towns in the conquered
areas. In the towns the Roman culture was strong, while in the country
they had a more traditional culture. It wasn't until the Germans came
along and applied Roman ideas to the spread of German culture that the
native European culture was wiped out. Oh course, no invasions are
pleasant, but in the long run, the Roman invasions were good things.
The two phases of European Imperialism are much different from the
Ancient Imperialism. They both had a religous aspect that was lacking
in Roman conquests. It's interesting to note that of the only two
places never incoporated into a European Empire, Japan banned
Christianity outright, and Ethopia was already Christian.
And China? And Siam (Thailand)? And Korea?
If you're going to generalize about imperialism, you really should study
some world history. Just a suggestion.
"Apart from that --- What have the Romans ever done for us??"
Quote from the "Life Of Brian"
:-o)
Phil
China had all the good parts on the coast under European control. It
was only the American desire to keep the Chinese market open to all
nations that prevented it from being physically conquered, it was
already under de facto control of various European interests. Korea
was conquered by Japan, and fell under Japan's "protection". I'm not
sure about Siam, but I know it had some fairly progressive leadership.
It might be another exmaple.
Phil
Johnny Flowerpotman <jo...@rizla.fsbusiness.co.uk> wrote in message
news:J8SYMAA0...@heirophant.freeserve.co.uk...
| Umbricia <daria...@my-deja.com>, said
| > I thinck, that feminism is an extention of Christian faith. Jesus
| >Christ spoke against sexual abuse of women, which was practiced by the
| >Romans. Modern feminists speak against the physical and mental abuse.
| >Just like Christianity suffered a huge backlash, so does feminism today.
|
| Do you believe, as Mary does, that Jesus was a woman?
| And a child whore?
|
| > (I am a Catholic feminist.)
| >
|
| Sounds like a lot of fun.
>"Johnny" if you are going to participate in soc.men discussions - would you
>kindly REFRAIN from crossposting such NG's as "alt.discordia" and other
>NG's that were NOT in the original headers of the message you replied to???
>
But we like it when you crosspost to us.
> relations with prostitutes. But unlike modern feminists, who tolerate
> opposing views, Romans killed anyone, who opposed them.
>
I think you've got this backwards.
Hexar
(Insert Title Here)
First Church of the Dangling Sparkly Ball (Orthodox)
"Putting the Disco back into Discordianism"
"I was talkin' to Jesus through a hole in the floor,
He said our time is up we can't stay anymore."
Monster Magnet-See You in Hell
FoFP
> It was a bit different with the Romans. The Romans only really cared
> about the urban centers. They left the peassants mostly to themselves.
> In Europe this resulted in Romans building towns in the conquered
> areas. In the towns the Roman culture was strong, while in the country
> they had a more traditional culture. It wasn't until the Germans came
> along and applied Roman ideas to the spread of German culture that the
> native European culture was wiped out. Oh course, no invasions are
> pleasant, but in the long run, the Roman invasions were good things.
Sorry, but this time I gotta knock you back down. The continental Celtic
culture was under constant attack from Roman authorities, due to the
antiauthoritarian tendencies (reports written back then remind me of
Northern Ireland). Considering that Roman law was supposedly divinely
inspired, a lot of effort was put into persecuting the druid caste.
Another thing that irks me is the so-called Roman roads. Most of them
were actually built by the Celts.
--
/\ Marc Etienne Lachance, KSC, LMAA
/<>\ Danubist, Ateist, and, well,
/____\ *you* figure it out. Fnord.
Yeah, but we can all agree that the Germans screwed both the Celts and
the Romans.
Hexar wrote:
>
> Ho Chi Ho Chi Zen wrote in message ...
> >
> Well we didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition...
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
:^}
Rich
I "quoted" from within soc.men!! *schnigger"
Still I'll let YOU give the lesson on how to defend yourself armed with only
a Banana ("What about the pointed stick" - "Shaddap"!!).
|
| Glad we could be civilised about this.
|
Unlike the Romans!!
Phil
I'll let you fill in the blanks:-
"This ------ is getting far to ----y"
:-o}
Phil
This tonsil is getting far to milky? Wha?
-----
Pope Skidoo
Oooh lovey, lovey let me stop you there. My hubby is an Italian. Ronald
Bradshaw (His granddad was a Brit). Ronald stacks shelves down at our
Tesco Superstore. Once he had to dress up like a giant roll-up for a
Rizla Cigarette papers promotion. He looked ever so funny! Anyway
Ronald Rizla sort of stuck with him.
>I KNOW that you couldn't possibly be "living in sin"?
We live in the light of Jesus.
>And how does that Mr. Flowepotman fit into your "lifestyle"?
He uses so much bad language against Her church. But he may be able to
find a place in our church. In the garden maybe :-)
>
>Forget it. I don't want to know. Have your little menagerie-a-twat.
>See if I care.
>
>You people are disgusting.
>
>Praise Jesus.
>
I'll pray for you :-)
>Ima
>
Are there any more of us Christian femmes here Ima?
> Byeee,
> ~~~~~="=~~~~~
> mary bradshaw
>Phil <phillew...@dial.pipex.com>, said
>>"Johnny" if you are going to participate in soc.men discussions - would you
>>kindly REFRAIN from crossposting such NG's as "alt.discordia" and other
>>NG's that were NOT in the original headers of the message you replied to???
>>
>>
>
>I understand Phil. The Discordians are the most feared and respected of
>all the ancient newsgroups. They bring chaos, disharmony and discord to
>the otherwise linear and respectful discussions here.
>
>So feared are they, that they are abandoned, ostracised and forced to
>live in the darkest, dankest recesses of Usenet. It is compassion and
>compassion alone that occasionally prompts me to let them see the one-
>true light of day.
>
>Whilst on the subject of Xposting Phil, are you aware that the
>Freemasons are really interested in our conversations here? Just a
>thought Phil.
>
Just don't bring alt.slack into this, The SubGenii and us Discordians
don't get along well.
Jesus sacrificed Her body. She was not celibate Mr. Flowerpotman, neither
was she a whore Jinn. All monies earned from Jesus's trade went to buy bits
for the Apostles.
BTW, did you know She was Australian. We have proof of this at our church.
~~~~~="=~~~~~
mary bradshaw
> Brother Johnny Flowerpotman
> Guardian of the Magdellan Pouch /(o\
> Star Messenger (Populous of Ummo) \o)/
> N. Fra: A:.A:.
MY GODS! JOHNNY FLOWERPOTMAN KILLED BIMP!
THAT BASTARD!
--
/\ Marc Etienne Lachance, KSC, LMAA
/<>\ Danubist, Ateist, and, well,
/____\ *you* figure it out. Fnord.
P.S.: I wonder what J. Calvin "Bimp" Smith really is up to these days.
Is he still faking his death?
>Madog Velkor <saint...@catholic.org>, said
>>On Thu, 4 Nov 1999 08:57:41 +0000, Johnny Flowerpotman
>><jo...@rizla.fsbusiness.co.uk> chorttled merrily:
>>
>>>Phil <phillew...@dial.pipex.com>, said
>>>>"Johnny" if you are going to participate in soc.men discussions - would you
>>>>kindly REFRAIN from crossposting such NG's as "alt.discordia" and other
>>>>NG's that were NOT in the original headers of the message you replied to???
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>I understand Phil. The Discordians are the most feared and respected of
>>>all the ancient newsgroups. They bring chaos, disharmony and discord to
>>>the otherwise linear and respectful discussions here.
>>>
>>>So feared are they, that they are abandoned, ostracised and forced to
>>>live in the darkest, dankest recesses of Usenet. It is compassion and
>>>compassion alone that occasionally prompts me to let them see the one-
>>>true light of day.
>>>
>>>Whilst on the subject of Xposting Phil, are you aware that the
>>>Freemasons are really interested in our conversations here? Just a
>>>thought Phil.
>>>
>>Just don't bring alt.slack into this, The SubGenii and us Discordians
>>don't get along well.
>>
>
>SubGenii - is that the collective name for alt.slacks?
>
>
SubGenii is the collective name for the SubGeniuses. alt.slack is the
offical newsgroup of The Church of the SubGenius. They're just like us
Discordians only stupider and more violent.
you're forgetting the 26.50 that a subbie spends on condoms to make his
other subbie friend think that he's getting laid by fat chicks.
Anything that isn't off-topic.
http://www.jaggedlittledyl.com
not for crybabies.
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
*LOL* Wha (dever) turns you on.
Phil
| -----
| Pope Skidoo
|
|
Aaaaarghhh- "Nobody expectorates the Discordians!!!!"
| They bring chaos, disharmony and discord to
| >the otherwise linear and respectful discussions here.
| >
| >So feared are they, that they are abandoned, ostracised and forced to
| >live in the darkest, dankest recesses of Usenet. It is compassion and
| >compassion alone that occasionally prompts me to let them see the one-
| >true light of day.
You're such a Saint - how do manage NOT to worship yourself (or do you not
make the effort?).?
| >
| >Whilst on the subject of Xposting Phil, are you aware that the
| >Freemasons are really interested in our conversations here? Just a
| >thought Phil.
Oh NO - Not the FREEMASONS!!!!!!
(*Little voice in background* - "nobody expects the Freemasons" *Gruff Voice
Of TROLL in background* "SHADAAAPP!")
| >
| Just don't bring alt.slack into this, The SubGenii and us Discordians
| don't get along well.
Now please don't TEMPT me - I am feeling particularly Devilish tonight!!
(must be a Full Moon or something!!)
>
>zog...@home.com wrote in message <3821F040...@home.com>...
>>Madog Velkor wrote:
>>>
>>> On Thu, 4 Nov 1999 15:58:12 +0000, Johnny Flowerpotman
>>> <jo...@rizla.fsbusiness.co.uk> chorttled merrily:
>>>
>>> >Madog Velkor <saint...@catholic.org>, said
>>> >>On Thu, 4 Nov 1999 08:57:41 +0000, Johnny Flowerpotman
>>> >><jo...@rizla.fsbusiness.co.uk> chorttled merrily:
>>> >>
>>> >>>Phil <phillew...@dial.pipex.com>, said
>>> >>>>"Johnny" if you are going to participate in soc.men discussions -
>would you
>>> >>>>kindly REFRAIN from crossposting such NG's as "alt.discordia"
>and other
>>> >>>>NG's that were NOT in the original headers of the message you
>replied to???
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>>I understand Phil. The Discordians are the most feared and
>respected of
>>> >>>all the ancient newsgroups. They bring chaos, disharmony and
>discord to
>>> >>>the otherwise linear and respectful discussions here.
>>> >>>
>>> >>>So feared are they, that they are abandoned, ostracised and forced
>to
>>> >>>live in the darkest, dankest recesses of Usenet. It is compassion
>and
>>> >>>compassion alone that occasionally prompts me to let them see the
>one-
>>> >>>true light of day.
>>> >>>
>>> >>>Whilst on the subject of Xposting Phil, are you aware that the
>>> >>>Freemasons are really interested in our conversations here? Just a
>>> >>>thought Phil.
>>> >>>
>>> >>Just don't bring alt.slack into this, The SubGenii and us
>Discordians
>>> >>don't get along well.
>>> >>
>>> >
>>> >SubGenii - is that the collective name for alt.slacks?
>>> >
>>> >
>>>
>>> SubGenii is the collective name for the SubGeniuses. alt.slack is the
>>> offical newsgroup of The Church of the SubGenius. They're just like
>us
>>> Discordians only stupider and more violent.
>>>
>>And with $30 less in their wallets.
>
>That doesn't work out actually. Assuming condoms at $.50 each, assuming
>discordians have sex 100 times in a year, and assuming they remember to
>wear one 50% of the time, that works out at $25.
>
>Assuming condoms at $.50 each, assuming subbies have sex 0 times in a
>year, and assuming they remember to wear one 50% of the time, that works
>out at $0. Then they pay $30 to some other guy.
>
>For the first year, the discordian is ahead $5, but falls behind by $25
>for every year after that.
>
>
Duuuude!
5 words to live by:
Mailorder condoms are much cheaper.
Of course cheaper yet is a trip to the family planning clinic. You can
get them free there.
These little tips should pad your wallet well. In more ways than one.
NightMist
I blame the Trolls.
Fill
Con... doms?
-----
Pope S
> Madog Velkor wrote:
> >
> > SubGenii is the collective name for the SubGeniuses. alt.slack is the
> > offical newsgroup of The Church of the SubGenius. They're just like us
> > Discordians only stupider and more violent.
> >
> And with $30 less in their wallets.
You Discordians just are no goddamn fun at all. And besides, you forgot
the most important part:
WE get off. You just get screwed.
The Prophet Lilith
with a nod to Sister Decadence
--
====== Popess Lilith von Fraumench * http://www.foolspress.com ======
===== Stage Manager Of The EndTimes * Correctional Phrenologist =====
== Seattle SubGenii! We are the future! http://ssucc.ragnarokr.com ==
============== Mothers are the inventors of necessity. ==============
Sent via Sexzilla.net http://www.sputum.com/
Before the check clears.
>
>That doesn't work out actually. Assuming condoms at $.50 each, assuming
>discordians have sex 100 times in a year, and assuming they remember to
>wear one 50% of the time, that works out at $25.
>
>Assuming condoms at $.50 each, assuming subbies have sex 0 times in a
>year, and assuming they remember to wear one 50% of the time, that works
>out at $0. Then they pay $30 to some other guy.
>
>For the first year, the discordian is ahead $5, but falls behind by $25
>for every year after that.
>
Naw, as part of the $30 membership, psychic "mutation" surgery is
performed that granted me the ability to excrete a latex-like fluid from
the end of all 4 of my penii that, when spread around on each of my
shafts, quickly hardens into a condomlike state and provides 90%
protection from all known sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy,
yet, still provides the sensativity needed to enjoy the act of sexual
congress. Ribbed for her pleasure.
Not only that, but after a single use we can remove them by
rolling them off from the base. We then package them and sell them under a
number of popular brand names such as "Trojan", and "Protex".
Although there are several options for the "modification" surgery
included with membership, this is one of the most popular for obvious
reasons.
-Rev. Prostata Cantata
--
----------Sjöberg's Law of Usenet Filtering--------------------------
If you ignore any Usenet posting which has five or more sentences in
all caps, is crossposted to five or more newsgroups, or has five or more
levels of quoting, the result is lossless compression of information.
>In article <9EnU3.730$vO2....@ozemail.com.au>,
>Ho Chi Ho Chi Zen <butt...@anti-social.com> wrote:
>
>>
>>That doesn't work out actually. Assuming condoms at $.50 each, assuming
>>discordians have sex 100 times in a year, and assuming they remember to
>>wear one 50% of the time, that works out at $25.
>>
>>Assuming condoms at $.50 each, assuming subbies have sex 0 times in a
>>year, and assuming they remember to wear one 50% of the time, that works
>>out at $0. Then they pay $30 to some other guy.
>>
>>For the first year, the discordian is ahead $5, but falls behind by $25
>>for every year after that.
>>
>
> Naw, as part of the $30 membership, psychic "mutation" surgery is
>performed that granted me the ability to excrete a latex-like fluid from
>the end of all 4 of my penii that, when spread around on each of my
>shafts, quickly hardens into a condomlike state and provides 90%
>protection from all known sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy,
>yet, still provides the sensativity needed to enjoy the act of sexual
>congress. Ribbed for her pleasure.
>
> Not only that, but after a single use we can remove them by
>rolling them off from the base. We then package them and sell them under a
>number of popular brand names such as "Trojan", and "Protex".
>
> Although there are several options for the "modification" surgery
>included with membership, this is one of the most popular for obvious
>reasons.
>
> -Rev. Prostata Cantata
>
>
So you guys are the resaon that condoms are so small!!!
-><-
Madog, Keeper of Bobo the Chimp
Lord of Petty Annoyances
Space Lord,
Ambrose Bierce Mexican Travel Agency Cabal
http://members.xoom.com/ABMTAC
http://www.eriswerks.org
-><-
I'm a monkey.
-><-
Dear Fellow Primate:
My penis is bigger than your penis and I have much more
sexual prowess and am far more sexually desirable than you.
That means I am superior to you. This should cause you a great
deal of discomfort. If not, please let me know, and I shall say other
unkind words in an effort to convince you that I am able to dominate
you emotionally.
Thanks for your consideration in this matter,
Joe Cool
PS: Neener neener, and/or neener.
>So you guys are the resaon that condoms are so small!!!
nuh-uh, YOU ARE.
I win.
You are, triple infinity plus infinity forever.
I win AGAIN.
you suck. haw haw, you loo-loo-LOOOOOSER!
oh, one more thing....
chaos is an illusion. the omniverse is perfectly ordered, you
just don't like your place in it.
too bad.
suffer. then die. alone. with hat hair.
Excuse me... (yeah bitch you WILL)
but...
have any of you turds ever purchased a condom???
where the fuck do you buy 50 cent condoms, Malaysia?
Try UNused rubbers for a change. Then you'd know that
they're usually sold more than one at a time, and the fresh
ones cost more than 50 cents. On the other hand (in most
discodeenies cases, that's literal) if 50 cents is all your
partner (ok, let's be realistic... your dog, corpse, or coffee
can of congealed bacon grease) is worth for protection from
your diseased flesh and inbred sperm, by all means, buy
sloppy seconds.
50 cent condoms... sick cheapass BASTARDS!
FEAR the harmony of the MUSIC of The Spheres,
little sour notes.
and by th' way, most of us don't use wallets for money.
Wallets are for exploding credit cards and razor traps.
Shrunken heads are what one keeps money in. If you weren't
all such abysmal failures as discordians, you'd know that.
Eris despises you. As soon as she creates a thing, Aneris
names it. Discordian is a NAME. Chaos means MAW, and
kids, yer maw HATES you.
now go buy some decent condoms, you shabby bitchboys
with tattered assholes!
>performed that granted me the ability to excrete a latex-like fluid from
>the end of all 4 of my penii that, when spread around on each of my
4?
4???
uh, DUDE... go download the patch! We're upto version
8.3 now! Where th' fuck you been, in a CAVE?
>
Can't you stay dead, damnit!
-><-
Madog, Keeper of Bobo the Chimp
Lord of Petty Annoyances
Space Lord,
Ambrose Bierce Mexican Travel Agency Cabal
http://members.xoom.com/ABMTAC
http://www.eriswerks.org
-><-
"No ticket."
-Silent Bob
-><-
>
Speaking of caves, have you been to the UK lately?
ICEKNIFE wrote:
>
*snip*
> Dear Fellow Primate:
>
> My penis is bigger than your penis and I have much more
> sexual prowess and am far more sexually desirable than you.
> That means I am superior to you. This should cause you a great
> deal of discomfort. If not, please let me know, and I shall say other
> unkind words in an effort to convince you that I am able to dominate
> you emotionally.
>
> Thanks for your consideration in this matter,
>
> Joe Cool
>
> PS: Neener neener, and/or neener.
Can I copy & paste this into every juvenile flame war I see? PLEEEAASSE?
-Rev. Knezek
As the prophet George Carlin has said, "Every war, conflict and fight on
this planet has been over the size of the leading males penises. I'm not
sure where the shape of our modern weponary fit into this,
bombs/bullets/etc...but I'm sure it does.
Telarus
Define 'slack' in a way not biased by any cultural, logical, and/or,
biological assuptions.
For that matter, define penis, or President, or goverment.
Mr. KNIFE, I regret to inform you, but you are dead. As such, you have
no posting rights. Now kindly bugger off.
Zog the etc...
>Can't you stay dead, damnit!
Apparently not.
Sorry!
>Mr. KNIFE, I regret to inform you, but you are dead. As such, you have
>no posting rights. Now kindly bugger off.
I own USENET.
PAY me.
Besides, I'm a JOO, which means I own YOO.
Get th' fuck back to work.
>Speaking of caves, have you been to the UK lately?
nope, not in almost 15 years...
last time we were there, we were on our way to soho
when we got turned around at the palace and somehow
wound up driving right up to the building. A buncha
cops and soldiers appeared outta nowhere and swarmed us,
wanting to know who we were and what we thought we were doing.
Someone brilliant (who was driving) batted her eyelashes
and pouted that "everything is on the wrong side here".
They laughed and showed us out, mentioning in a friendly way
that, had we been english, they'd have thrown us in jail for
the night. We never did quite manage to figure out how
we got in there.
It was a nice trip... spent my 25th birthday smoking good
Afghani hash in The Sherwood. The people were so nice,
I figured out that they must send the assholes over HERE.
Oh, and a chick with nice tits flashed me when her maj
(mine, not theirs) wasn't looking.
Why? And I'm guessing I'll regret asking, but what has
that to do with caves?
>
He's a Jew too, so now what are you going to do?
Phil
ICEKNIFE <icek...@lanminds.com> wrote in message
news:s3dda7...@corp.supernews.com...
Hexar
(Insert Title Here)
First Church of the Dangling Sparkly Ball (Orthodox)
"Putting the Disco back into Discordianism"
"Technology magnifies the ability of one person to have a big impact on
other people. If that doesn't scare you, then the next time you see
professional wrestling on television, look at the crowd shots and ask
yourself if you'd like those people to have a bigger impact on your life."
Scott Adams-The Dilbert Future
The WRONG Reverend is down to only 4 now because of that unfortunate
accident with the Prarie Squid. The replacements should be here any time
now tho. I told him he needed to de-beak the thing but does he listen to
me? NO!
Joy D'Veeve
--
Don't fuck with bulls. They have their balls and they want everyone to
know.
-Sue Wright
It hurts my heart that you would say something like that
(or type it).
You should be VERY sad (like, V.C. Andrews kinda sad)
that you did that.
Being an imposter doesn't mean I'm not the one and only
original me.
of course, there is some japanese guy with my name, but
I sent him an e-mail demanding that we duel to the death with
knives or war clubs to determine who gets to use it.
the fuked up little japanist hasn't replied, so he's just a
free-floating horizontal cheshire pussy, and I've won the
right to re-bomb Hiroshima.
Scream a little scream of me.
HAHAHA Actually, YES, I *have* been spending my time in caves!
(it's dark, cool and SILENT down there...)
Good fucking guess man!
ICEKNIFE DOES NOT GUESS.
ICEKNIFE *KNOWS*.
fuck. fuckitty fuck fuck fuck.
I share a psychic bond with all subgenii,
proving that I'm WAAAAY more like
"Bob" than anyone should or could want.
>
>The WRONG Rev. Prostata Cantata wrote in message
><81chfr$154$1...@news.concourse.com>...
>>In article <s35suc...@corp.supernews.com>,
>>ICEKNIFE <icek...@lanminds.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>The WRONG Rev. Prostata Cantata wrote in message
>>>
>>>>performed that granted me the ability to excrete a latex-like fluid from
>>>>the end of all 4 of my penii that, when spread around on each of my
>>>
>>>4?
>>>
>>>4???
>>>
>>>uh, DUDE... go download the patch! We're upto version
>>>8.3 now! Where th' fuck you been, in a CAVE?
>>
>> HAHAHA Actually, YES, I *have* been spending my time in caves!
>>(it's dark, cool and SILENT down there...)
>>
>> Good fucking guess man!
>
>ICEKNIFE DOES NOT GUESS.
>
>ICEKNIFE *KNOWS*.
>
>fuck. fuckitty fuck fuck fuck.
>
>I share a psychic bond with all subgenii,
>proving that I'm WAAAAY more like
>"Bob" than anyone should or could want.
>
>
OK.
But I won't send you $30 either.
NightMist
saving her pennies for Yule
Wow !!! A resurrection !!!
Glenn (Christian Mystic)
Hexar
Admiral, Salvation Navy (Ret.)
Discordian Illuminated Secret Cabal Organized for the Benefit of All Living
Lifeforms
(D.I.S.C.O.B.A.L.L.)
"Putting the Disco back into Discordianism"
"Yeah, maybe I do suck, but I've got a lot of free time."
Mitch Hedberg
You're BOTH right, I'm a breath mint AND
a dry lubricant!
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