The Fam on Foot: A world below
Ablang
By Don Bosley - Bee Staff Writer
Last Updated 4:45 pm PST Wednesday, November 1, 2006
http://www.sacbee.com/401/story/11551.html
Little is known about the first people who toured spectacular Moaning
Cavern in Calaveras County, except that the tours generally didn't go
well. This we can quickly surmise because 13,000 years later, the
people are still there.
"Nuh-uhhh!" said my Christina, as fine a 12-year-old skeptic as you'll
find anywhere.
"Yes-huh!" retorted I, the all-knowing father, shrewdly choosing to
address my daughter in her native tongue.
You see, I explained, the bones of approximately 100 prehistoric
humans have been found at the bottom of Moaning Cavern, 10 minutes
outside Angels Camp.
Scientists believe that many ancient people may have ventured into the
dark and narrow passages of the cavern before being surprised by the
truly cavernous main chamber and subsequently falling on hard times.
By 1920, the tours had been upgraded considerably. According to
legend, tourists were lowered into the cavern in ore buckets,
illuminating their way with candles or whale-oil lamps. It's
reasonable to assume that these hardy souls later visited the gift
shop and purchased T-shirts that read, "I MUST'VE BEEN OUT OF MY
FLIPPIN' MIND! at fabulous Moaning Cavern, Calaveras County, Calif."
Of course, we can't be entirely sure that they returned at all.
Today, you can get to the floor of Moaning Cavern in modern luxury --
via 234 steeply descending stairs, through tight chasms and
switchbacks, and eventually down a 100-foot spiral staircase built
from the steel of a World War I battleship.
"They've got an elevator going back up, right?" said my 68-year-old
father, after once again following his grandchildren to the end of the
Earth -- and then several stories below it.
Elevator? Er...no, Dad. Not even a tethered ore bucket. Those 234
stairs are made for two-way travel -- undoubtedly the reason that the
name "Moaning Cavern" has stuck all these years.
As family hikes go, we must afford some special exemptions to the
caverns of the Sierra Nevada. Normally, anyplace with a gift shop
would be an immediate scratch from our "Fam on Foot" list, because we
like God-given nature a lot more than we like rubber snakes with
corporate Web sites stamped on their bellies or moose-manure necklaces
that retail for $49.95.
(Note: This is not to suggest that moose-manure necklaces wouldn't be
an appropriate gift for many people we know. It's merely a personal
observation that moose manure is much more enjoyable in its natural,
un-necklaced state. And cheaper.)
When winter weather limits your trail choices, however, a family could
do a lot worse than these short jaunts down into the caverns, where
the temperature remains a steady 61 degrees year-round.
Granted, the tours aren't recommended for small children or people
with fears of heights, darkness or cramped spaces. But for everyone
else, the astounding array of rock formations and deposits -- carved
away by the dripping water of a bazillion years or so -- can compare
with any God-given nature you've seen anywhere.
"(The formations) all look like they have big teeth!" exclaimed Matt,
my 10-year-old, who really likes things with big teeth.
"No, they look like a bunch of jellyfishes," said Christina, who
doesn't like big teeth nearly as much.
"Whoa! That one looks like a T-rex!" said Matt, who on this occasion
was actually right. We tried to imagine what the T-rex formation
looked like 80 years ago, coming at you in the shadows of a whale-oil
lamp while you swung around down there in an ore bucket. This led to a
discussion of what the world speed record is for shimmying up a rope.
Moaning Cavern is one of five cavern tours offered by Sierra Nevada
Recreation Corp., which also owns Black Chasm, Boyden Cavern,
California Cavern and the Sutter Gold Mine. Each cavern has its own
unique character; in the case of Moaning Cavern, that character would
be just astounding bigness.
The main chamber is 165 feet deep, making it the largest single-
chamber public cavern in the state.
The Moaning Cavern folks like to say that they could fit the Statue of
Liberty in there, while admitting that she would have to be turned
upside down so that her arm and torch would fit down one of the
narrowing offshoots of the main chamber. This raises the question of
how you would get the Statue of Liberty through the narrow cavern
opening in the first place, even in a really big ore bucket.
Suffice it to say, Moaning Cavern is clearly the biggest, blackest
hole in California, not counting the state budget. For a price, you
can gear up and actually rappel into the main chamber, dangling in
space awhile as some real obvious T-rex bait.
The cavern's total depth, reaching well beyond the main chamber, is
about 410 feet. And for a little bigger price, you can sign up for a
guided, three-hour adventure trip that lets you explore these deeper,
narrower passages with nothing but a flashlight on your helmet.
"Dad, thank you for not signing us up for that," said Matt, heretofore
a pretty gung-ho climber and crawler.
This is the point at which parents can introduce their children to one
of the greatest words in the English language: spelunking. It
technically means exploring caves as a hobby but can actually find 101
everyday uses in your household as well.
When our 2-year-old misbehaves, we might spelunk her on the bottom.
After it rains, our kids go spelunking through puddles. And I often
must complain to our mechanic that the car is making a horrible
spelunking sound, which causes him to nod and thoughtfully rub his
whiskered chin. Clearly, spelunking by any definition is serious
business.
Honest-to-goodness spelunkers, however, are truly a brave and very odd
sort. Firstly, they must be willing to squeeze and twist into
claustrophobic openings. And secondly, they must be willing to do so
in Absolute Darkness.
Absolute Darkness is different from regular darkness in this important
way: It Absolutely doesn't lighten up. Our tour guide was happy to
demonstrate this for us when, while we were gathered at the bottom of
the main chamber, he shut off all the cavern lights. For two minutes.
You couldn't see your hand from an inch in front of your face. You
couldn't see the tip of your nose. Your waited for your eyes to
adjust; they never did.
"Christina ... you still there?"
"Yeah! I've got ahold of the staircase!"
The guide explained how, after four or five hours of this sensory
deprivation, humans will start to seriously hallucinate.
Four or five hours seemed like a stretch to me. After just 60 seconds,
I was ready to grope about for that smug tour guide and spelunk him
squarely upside the head.
Moaning Cavern
Rating (out of five): 3 1/2 stars
Round-trip hike distance: 468 steps (That's 234 down, and 234 back up
again, not counting miscellaneous shufflings on the cavern floor)
Round-trip hike time: 45 minutes - one hour.
Degree of difficulty: Moderate.
Highlights: A steep descent of 165 feet through narrow rock passages
and into one monstrous cavern chamber. Fascinating rock formations and
deposits on all sides. A long spiral staircase welded with steel from
the hull of a World War I battleship. And, just for laughs, a 2-minute
introduction to genuine, total darkness (That's right: They flip off
the lights, and you will see the best definition of nothing you've
ever thought possible).
And another thing: Not wheelchair accessible. Restrooms at gift shop.
No food or drink allowed in the cavern. Visitors will be dripped on
and encounter some wet surfaces. No jacket required; temperature stays
at 61 degrees year-round. Hours are 10 a.m.-5 p.m. November-April, 9
a.m.-6 p.m. May-October. Cost: $10 adults, $5 children.
For more information: www.caverntours.com, or Sierra Nevada Recreation
Corporation (209) 736-2708 or 1-866-SNCAVES.
Where it's at: Near Angels Camp, 90 driving miles from Sacramento.
Moaning Cavern
Directions from Sacramento: Take Highway 99 south to Stockton, and
turn east on Highway 4. Turn right at Angels Camp, proceed
approximately 1.5 miles, and turn left on Highway 4 for another 10
miles. Turn right on Parrotts Ferry Road at the Moaning Cavern sign.
After one mile, turn right on Moaning Cave Road. The tours leave from
the gift shop.
Got a favorite family hike within 90 miles of Sacramento? We want to
hear all about it. Contact us by e-mail at dbosley at sacbee.com, by
phone at (916) 321-1101, or by mail at: The Sacramento Bee, Family &
Health, P.O. Box 15779, Sacramento CA 95852.