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FLUFF: Tu understand ech ozer
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Draco
Nov 15, 1993, 4:30:03 AM11/15/93
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> Here's a bit of fluff to inject some humor into these trying days in The
> Place:
>
> Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the
> European Parliament has commissioned a feasability study in ways of
> improving efficiency in communications betwen Government
> departments.
>
> European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is
> unnecessary difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through
> and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of
> changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of
> course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by
> participating nations.
>
> In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using
> 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all
> sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be
> replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only
> would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but
> typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
>
> There would be growing enthousiasm when in the sekond year, it was
> anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'.
> This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in
> print.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> expekted to reatsh the stage where more komplikated tshanges are
> possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters
> which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
>
> We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag
> is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and
> writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four
> years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps
> sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w'
> kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly
> after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining
> 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations
> of leters.
>
> Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli
> sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trublsm
> difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze
> drems of Mr. Orvel vud finali hav kum tru.
>
> From REA News, Journal of the Royal Aircraft Establishment.
>
> |\
> |\ |
> | O
> \ / O
> == * ==========================================================
> / \ Drako.
>
>
>
>
> Place:
>
> Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the
> European Parliament has commissioned a feasability study in ways of
> improving efficiency in communications betwen Government
> departments.
>
> European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is
> unnecessary difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through
> and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of
> changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of
> course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by
> participating nations.
>
> In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using
> 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all
> sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be
> replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only
> would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but
> typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
>
> There would be growing enthousiasm when in the sekond year, it was
> anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'.
> This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in
> print.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> expekted to reatsh the stage where more komplikated tshanges are
> possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters
> which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
>
> We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag
> is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and
> writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four
> years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps
> sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w'
> kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly
> after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining
> 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations
> of leters.
>
> Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli
> sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trublsm
> difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze
> drems of Mr. Orvel vud finali hav kum tru.
>
> From REA News, Journal of the Royal Aircraft Establishment.
>
> |\
> |\ |
> | O
> \ / O
> == * ==========================================================
> / \ Drako.
>
>
>
>
/* The previous statements found herein are mine and not necessarily my
employer's.
*/
l.e. forman
Nov 15, 1993, 9:09:58 PM11/15/93
to
In article <a58b02U...@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com>, InterNews 1...@juts.ccc.amdahl.com. (InterN...@juts.ccc.amdahl.com.) writes:
>> From REA News, Journal of the Royal Aircraft Establishment.
>
ROTFLMAO!!!!
---Mrs. Jack (Behemoth, but my friends call me Beth) Spratt
Say we and us, not they and them
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