500 words: An exercise in writing
Buddha Buck
sheets of paper. He approaches the bar, and asks Mike for an Iced
Tea, no ice. He drinks it, while building up the courage to address
the crowd. Finally he turns, and gets everyone's attention.]
Friends, for years, I've wanted to become a better writer. I've
wanted to be able to write stories, to be able to concoct fictions.
Several writers whom I've read have suggested that the way to write is
to write -- to get into the habit of writing, and write a little every
day, on -something-. but I'm always stuck on what to write. I've been
able to see scenes, vingiettes almost, in my mind, but they have
always lacked plots, and as such aren't worth writing.
Well, Andrew Looney, the creator of the game Fluxx, Icehouse,
Chrononauts, and an expert at nanofiction, has created a solution.
You see, he is working on a game called "Nanofictionary", which is
based on competative story writing. He noted that every story needs
four elements -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution --
so he created cards in his game for those four elements. During the
game, players acquire cards, then write stories to match those
elements.
This is -exactly- what I needed in order to write -- it provides me
with all the basic elements, I just have to string them together. So,
with Nanofictionary in mind, I'm trying to get into the habit of
writing a new story every day, of 500 words, more or less (erring on
the "more" side, mostly). I've done two so far, today is day three of
the project.
I do have a problem -- Nanofictionary does not exist, at least, not
yet. The rules are being tweaked, the artwork is still in progress,
and the accountant is trying to find an investor willing to put up
US$18,000 to pay for the initial print run. So I don't have a deck, I
just have the -idea- of the deck. Which means I still need help
getting characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution.
So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
write stories to match, one a day.
Here's an example of what I wrote last night. Two of my friends
collaborated on the idea, but they didn't intend for me to write it
the way I did.
[The Red-Headed Santa looks at his papers, and starts to read]
The Olympic Dance and Song
Story idea by Eva Snyder and Joseph Prisco
Story by Buddha Buck
IDEA:
Characters: Dione, Baccus
Setting: Discoteque in the greek islands
Conflict: Baccus tries to pick her up
Resolution: Tragedy
STORY:
Let us focus our attention on a small island off the Athenian
coast. On this island, which has no port, no electricity, and no
houses, there is a large hall known as "Olympiakeos Choreos kai
Tragoydi" ("Olympic Dance and Song") which every night is filled with
music and revelry. The Greeks on the mainland do not know who dances
there, or how they get there, or where they go in the day -- fishermen
who land on the island find only one resident at the hall, a caretaker
names Apollo.
As an aside, the International Olympic Committee once sent a
delegation to the island to have the hall change its name, as it
infringed on the IOC's trademarks. Apollo politely declined, and when
pushed, made pointed comments about the Olympic Torch, and how the IOC
was having trouble getting it lit "by the grace of Apollo". Once the
IOC did a little research into the place, and left in peace, never to
raise the issue again -- at which point, the torch lit seemingly
spontaneously.
On this particular night, as we look in, we see that a dance
competition is in full swing -- Terpsichore is sitting in judgement,
looking over the Gods ready to dance, and Apollo, having put down his
Lyre for the evening, is standing behind the turn-tables (having no
electric service doesn't mean that the lights and music doesn't work.
Zeus has had millenia of experience controlling and channeling his
lightning bolts, after all).
"All right, all you Gods and Goddesses, let's get ready to party!" the
DJ shouted out. "Tonight we're going to be jamming and dancing to the
best hits of the Apollo Theater" Groans rose from the crowd, and
Thaleia shouted "Leave the comedy routine to me", to the amusement of
everyone.
Apollo started spinning the disco and soul hits while the couples
danced on the floor. One by one, Terpsichore pointed out a dancer who
didn't pass muster, and the floor emptied slowly out to the
surrounding seats, as the dancers stayed to watch the remainder.
The dancing went on, and on -- stamina being something none of the
dancers were lacking -- through the Disco Top 100, through the Abba
Hour, through the Bee Gees, through Andy Gibb's entire discography,
and still they danced on. Finally, six dancers remained; Hermes and
Iris were jamming literally above the dancers and on the floor Pitys
was teasing Pan around the floor in a never-ending, disco chase. The
two remaining solo dancers were Bacchus (visiting from his vinyards in
the north of Italy), resplendid in an outfit of pure white, only
enhanced by the full glass of bright red wine he has carried and drunk
from all evening -- never spilling a drop, never draining it
completely, and Dione, dressed in a beautiful green dress, adorned
with oak leaf prints.
Apollo read a note handed to him by Terpsichore and got on the
mike. "All right, we're going to take a short break to let the dancers
rest, then we'll be back for the finale of the contest -- Terpsichore
wants to switch up the musical styles, so get ready for some waltz,
swing, and tango, in five!" With that, he shut down the boards, and
headed to his music collection to get the appropriate tracks ready.
It dawned on Pitys that the remaining dances were couple dances, and
she didn't want to dance with Pan -- that's why she was running from
him, after all. After some discussion, Hermes agreed to dance with
Pitys, and Iris would dance with Pan.
Apollo started the music back up with a nice slow waltz. All the
couples did well, showing off classic form, but nothing flashy -- the
music didn't call for it. Terhsichore signalled Apollo to go to the
next style. His skills as a DJ were amply shown as Apollo managed to
smoothly transition from a slow American waltz to the Squirrel Nut
Zippers and a fast East Coast Swing. Alas, poor Pitys had been
leading Pan for so long, she had forgotten how to follow. Terpsichore
looked on Hermese and Pitys with pity in her eye [hey! I said leave
the jokes to me -- Thaleia], for they were both superb dancers, but
was forced to wave them off the floor. Now only Pan and Iris, Bacchus
and Dione were left.
Pan and Iris were dancing up a storm. Iris, with her winged feet, was
able to help Pan perform many lifts and tosses, making their dance
very showy and energetic. This was not lost on Bacchus and Dione, who
looked at each other, and with a mutual determination to win the
prize, threw themselves into the dance with renewed vigor.
"Woo-hoo! Go get 'em, Mom!" Aphrodite called out, cheering Dione on,
as the crowd began to see the energy and passion Bacchus and Dione put
into their dance. Pretty soon, Pan and Iris faded back, having
realized they were beat. But Terpsichore didn't end the dance; she,
like everyone else, was enjoying the show too much.
As the music swelled, the two remaining dancers alternately led and
followed, spun, danced in, danced out, and still their energy rose and
rose. Finally, to cap it all off, Bacchus pulled Dione in for a flip
over his back, a coup de gras to finish off a wonderful dance set.
That's when it happened... As Bacchus caught Dione, and picked her up
and over, his back finally went out. With a crach and a tinkle,
Bacchus and his glass of wine both fell to the ground and broke. At
first, the crowd reacted in horror, until they realized that the red
on his pristine jacket was from the wine, finally spilt, and not
blood. Tragically, the two best dancers failed to win because of
injury.
We will leave the Gods and their sorrowful dance party now, with Dione
at Bacchus' side. It is likely that he will be laid up for some time,
so who knows how the two will get along -- but that is their business,
and a story for another day.
--
Buddha Buck bmb...@14850.com
"I will not die an ironic death" -- Scott Ian, lead singer for
the metal band Anthrax, after bioterrorist attacks using anthrax.
Crossfire
[snip]
] So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
] ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
] write stories to match, one a day.
Okay, here's one I've been playing with. See if it tickles your writing
fancy...and if it doesn't wait for another one, I'm sure the patronage
will have lots of good ones for you to pick from.
Several years ago, I read (and saved) an article from the local newspaper.
It was in the 'human interest' section, and it was about this elderly woman
who received every year on the same day a beautiful boquet of flowers with
no card. It had been going on for years, always with no card. The woman
had no idea who they were from or what they were for. The date had no
special meaning to her, though she'd thought about it for years and even
asked friends and family. If I remember correctly, when her husband passed
and she moved, the flowers followed her to her new address.
Then, one year, the flowers stopped coming. And they haven't come since.
When I read the article, I figured it was worth at least a half-dozen good
stories. So how about starting off with a character piece, done from the
point of view of the woman? One where we really get to know her and her
feelings.
Character: The woman.
Setting: Her home in the suburbs. She lives alone (though the flowers
started coming while her husband was still alive--he didn't know where
they came from either, and felt a mixture of amusement and jealousy over
them).
Problem/resolution: The flowers have stopped coming after all these years.
How does she deal with this? What are her thoughts? How does she feel
about it? (Note that to be really effective, her feelings should probably
be *illustrated* rather than just described outright.) (Note also that
there may be no actual resolution in this story, but that's OK since it's
just a character piece.)
--
Jon "Crossfire" Reid | jon <at> apeiros <dot> com (DeSPAM the Reply-To)
| http://www.apeiros.com/~jon
"A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil, assaulted by bears."
-- Edward Gorey, "The Gashlycrumb Tinies"
Buddha Buck
> On 29 Jan 2002 07:32:57 -0500, Buddha Buck <bmb...@14850.com> wrote:
>
> [snip]
>
> ] So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
> ] ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
> ] write stories to match, one a day.
>
> Okay, here's one I've been playing with. See if it tickles your writing
> fancy...and if it doesn't wait for another one, I'm sure the patronage
> will have lots of good ones for you to pick from.
I'll save it, but I won't do it immediately. For one, I'm tired
tonight, and won't be writing any stories tonight. For
another... don't take this the wrong way, but you've sort of tied my
hands with the details you gave me to work with -- you want a
character study of an old woman who's been the beneficiary of a
sentimental gift by an unknown party for unknown reasons for years --
long enough that she came to expect it -- when it suddenly ceased to
arrive. While there is a lot that can be done with that, it's a
little too specific for me, actually.
That didn't stop me from coming up with a general outline, however...
The story will consist of a series of vigniettes -- days in the life
type things, all set on the same date, but in different years. In the
first one (1950-06-13), she is a young woman, early in her marriage,
with one small child already. The florist arrives for the first time,
with a single yellow rose, no card. She thanks her husband for it
when he gets home, yet he denies knowledge.
The next, 1970-06-13, is the year after her husband died. She is
talking to her best friend, who has noticed that she is suddenly
depressed today for no good reason. She tells her that her husband
used to get her a flower -- one yellow rose -- on this date every
year. He always denied that it was him, of course, but she knew it
was -- who else could it be. She's sad because the date reminded her
of this ritual, and she misses him so. At that point, the doorbell
rings, and it's the florist, with one yellow rose.
On 1975-06-13, we find she's at work in California, having moved there
when she was transferred. She's been so busy, she's forgotten what
date it was. At noon, the florist arrives with one yellow rose. She
is surprised, because she doesn't know how the giver would have known
she moved, or where she was working -- because she was so busy, she
had forgotten the date. She takes the afternoon off, because of the
novelty of the event, and because she apparantly has a determined
admirer.
By 1990-06-13, she's in her mid sixties, and has retired. Now that
she's done raising her kids, and working for a living, she has a lot
of time at home, alone. Her kids and grandkids are scattered across
the country, so she rarely sees them. However, the annual yellow rose
gives her continuity, and June 13th is the one day a year she looks
forward to.
1993-06-13 sees her at home, waiting patiently for the florist to
arrive. She has taken up painting, and her house is decorated in
drawings and paintings of yellow roses. She looks through her album,
containing several pressed yellow roses, each dated a different year.
The florist never arrives.
It took until 1998-06-13 before she finally admits that the florist
will never arrive. She goes into mourning -- after all, it feels like
a lifetime-long unknown lover is gone, and she has to finally admit it
to herself. Her son and daughter are staying with her -- her health
has been deteriorating recently.
2001-06-13 has her son and daughter meeting together in the cemetary.
This is the first they've seen of each other since the funeral,
several months earlier. Neither of them expected to find the other
there. After a short conversation, each places a single, yellow rose
on their mother's grave.
OK, that's 486 words, and doesn't quite meet what I'd call a complete
story -- I'd use a more narrative approach, using dialogue and action,
but I'm hard pressed to put into words why the above is unacceptable.
What do you think? Does it work for you?
Crossfire
] jonLU...@MEATapeiros.com (Crossfire) writes:
]
] > On 29 Jan 2002 07:32:57 -0500, Buddha Buck <bmb...@14850.com> wrote:
] >
] > [snip]
] >
] > ] So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
] > ] ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
] > ] write stories to match, one a day.
] >
] > Okay, here's one I've been playing with. See if it tickles your writing
] > fancy...and if it doesn't wait for another one, I'm sure the patronage
] > will have lots of good ones for you to pick from.
]
] I'll save it, but I won't do it immediately. For one, I'm tired
] tonight, and won't be writing any stories tonight. For
] another... don't take this the wrong way, but you've sort of tied my
] hands with the details you gave me to work with -- you want a
] character study of an old woman who's been the beneficiary of a
] sentimental gift by an unknown party for unknown reasons for years --
] long enough that she came to expect it -- when it suddenly ceased to
] arrive. While there is a lot that can be done with that, it's a
] little too specific for me, actually.
Well, feel free to discard any information you want. I was just relaying
the article as I remembered it because I thought it was good idea fodder.
] That didn't stop me from coming up with a general outline, however...
[snip outline]
] OK, that's 486 words, and doesn't quite meet what I'd call a complete
] story -- I'd use a more narrative approach, using dialogue and action,
] but I'm hard pressed to put into words why the above is unacceptable.
Well, a five hundred word limit calls for a certain level of specificity in
your writing. You'll have a difficult time with your outline, unless you
restrict each vignette to 100 words each...a VERY difficult proposition.
This is why I suggested a character study: 500 words about how the woman
feels about the flowers. I'd be tempted to do it in stream-of-consciousness
and have the 500 words be her actual thoughts, but of course it's YOUR
story so you can do whatever you like. You could do a simple narrative
story about the day the flowers usually come--either on a day when they do
come or a day when they don't.
Also, remember that a short story (particularly really short ones like
these) don't always have to have plots and action, with buildup, climax,
and denoument. In 500 words I'd be tempted to do a "study:" concentrate
on one particular aspect of writing, like character, theme, setting,
atmosphere, scene, or whatever. But that's just me.
] What do you think? Does it work for you?
Sure. But it's YOUR story...how do YOU feel abou it? Does it work for
you?
--
Jon "Crossfire" Reid | jon <at> apeiros <dot> com (DeSPAM the Reply-To)
j...@milamber.gwydion.net
>[The young red-headed Santa walks into Callahans, carrying a few
>sheets of paper. He approaches the bar, and asks Mike for an Iced
>Tea, no ice. He drinks it, while building up the courage to address
>the crowd. Finally he turns, and gets everyone's attention.]
>
>Friends, for years, I've wanted to become a better writer. I've
>wanted to be able to write stories, to be able to concoct fictions.
Jo looks up from her seat near the fireplace.
>Several writers whom I've read have suggested that the way to write is
>to write -- to get into the habit of writing, and write a little every
>day, on -something-. but I'm always stuck on what to write. I've been
>able to see scenes, vingiettes almost, in my mind, but they have
>always lacked plots, and as such aren't worth writing.
"ME TOO! That's *exactly* my problem"
>Well, Andrew Looney, the creator of the game Fluxx, Icehouse,
>Chrononauts, and an expert at nanofiction, has created a solution.
>You see, he is working on a game called "Nanofictionary", which is
>based on competative story writing. He noted that every story needs
>four elements -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution --
>so he created cards in his game for those four elements. During the
>game, players acquire cards, then write stories to match those
>elements.
What an *incredibly* cool idea :)
>So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
>ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
>write stories to match, one a day.
... um... could I, maybe, play too? I couldn't write one a day,
not enough time, but I'd like to give it a try, if you don't
mind?
Jo
--
The prisoner steps from the door of her cell
she is reborn
The sunchild carries a basket woven from
strands of daylight j...@gwydion.net
Rae
"Buddha Buck" <bmb...@14850.com> wrote in message
news:874rl5c...@14850.com...
> So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
> ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
> write stories to match, one a day.
Characters : Lilith
James
Set: Hospital room
Conflict : he's dying , he was abusive to her
Resolution : he's dead and she walks out of the room with dry eyes.
I don't want to see it back.....
Characters : Pierre
Dawn
Set: Street in a very old town, late fall, so late at night they can hear
the leave crunch under their feet.
Conflict: He's demonstrated that he can perform magic
Resolution: They stay friends.
This one I wouldn't mind seeing.
Characters : Robert
Alissa
Set : Sail boat
Conflict : He's madly in love with her.
Resolution : She breaks his heart
Okay, if you need more just holler. :)
Rae
Elana Who?
> "Buddha Buck" <bmb...@14850.com> wrote in message
> news:874rl5c...@14850.com...
>
> > So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
> > ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
> > write stories to match, one a day.
Hmmm...
******
Characters: Bruce and Jane
Setting: Ballroom dance place
Problem: Jane is sad, kinda hiding in corner in a large chair,
fantasizing and wishing she could dance like some of the graceful
dancers on the floor and feeling quietly despairing. Bruce, a
graceful gentleman of the old school, the best dancer in the hall that
night. He notices her and decides to ask her to dance. Jane is
incredibly torn... she doesn't want to reject him, but she doesn't
want to be rejected either... but her wheelchair is hiding behind the
chair... which she doesn't want him to know, but..
Resolution: Bruce shows he IS truely a gentleman of compassion and
class... and finds a way for them to dance, complete with
wheelchair... and she learns a new lesson in caring and connection.
*******
Sorry for the too-much detail in the problem part... could not
shorten it adaquately. Hope it can work... :)
-Elana
bookman
Buddha Buck wrote:
Short-shorts may well help you develop discipline if you
tend to get bogged down.
two aspects that you may want to consider are that
you need a "hook" early on. ISTR that a lot of
editors will read the first page of a story, and
discard the MS if they don't want to read more...
(for unknown authors, of course, established pro's
are a different kettle of fish).
Pacing is also important, IMO. if the story 'bogs',
you will likely lose the reader.
I hope you will forgive me for saying so, but IMO the
example you posted was lacking in both aspects.
Use of Greek God names was clever, but not enough
to grab me, y'know?
and you got to the conclusion, but (IMO) the trip
there wasn't much fun.
still, I will say that you are a better writer than I am,
and my criticism is worth only what you paid for it.
this is intended as constructive criticism, not as
anything intended to hurt, if I have offended, you are
welcome to an apology.
Rusty the bookman
those who can, write; those who cannot, critique...
Buddha Buck
> "Rae" <rachel...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<vZ268.8871$By6.1...@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net>...
> > "Buddha Buck" <bmb...@14850.com> wrote in message
> > news:874rl5c...@14850.com...
> >
> > > So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
> > > ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
> > > write stories to match, one a day.
>
> Hmmm...
>
> ******
>
> Characters: Bruce and Jane
> *******
>
> Sorry for the too-much detail in the problem part... could not
> shorten it adaquately. Hope it can work... :)
Nice idea. I'll see what I can do with it. If I can play
Duck-Duck-Goose with a wheelchair user (which I have), I bet I can get
one to dance.
>
> -Elana
Buddha Buck
> Short-shorts may well help you develop discipline if you
> tend to get bogged down.
>
> two aspects that you may want to consider are that
> you need a "hook" early on. ISTR that a lot of
> editors will read the first page of a story, and
> discard the MS if they don't want to read more...
> (for unknown authors, of course, established pro's
> are a different kettle of fish).
For now, the idea is to get into the habit of writing, and to get past
the "I don't know how to write!" stage. Later, I'll work on refining
the craft -- and I don't know when (or if) I'll tackle the "maybe
someone would pay for this" stage.
> Pacing is also important, IMO. if the story 'bogs',
> you will likely lose the reader.
>
> I hope you will forgive me for saying so, but IMO the
> example you posted was lacking in both aspects.
> Use of Greek God names was clever, but not enough
> to grab me, y'know?
Part of the exercise is to try to use what's given to you. I got
Greek Gods and a discotheque given to me. I would not have used them
otherwise.
> and you got to the conclusion, but (IMO) the trip
> there wasn't much fun.
I didn't think the conclusion fit the buildup, either. I think I
spent too much time describing the dance party -- but I found that
-fun- to do, as well.
This is essentially a "first draft", which has had no editing done to
it.
> still, I will say that you are a better writer than I am,
> and my criticism is worth only what you paid for it.
Thank you very much.
> this is intended as constructive criticism, not as
> anything intended to hurt, if I have offended, you are
> welcome to an apology.
If I didn't expect criticism, constructive or otherwise, I wouldn't
have posted it. A lack of criticism would have made me a victim of
Warnock's Dilemma -- did no one reply because it was insanely great
and there's nothing to add, or because it was insanely bad, and wasn't
worth commenting on?
Buddha Buck
> "Buddha Buck" <bmb...@14850.com> wrote in message
> news:874rl5c...@14850.com...
>
> > So... If you are willing, I'd like to ask the patrons here for story
> > ideas -- characters, setting, a problem, and a resolution -- and I'll
> > write stories to match, one a day.
[snip]
Thanks!
Here's my plan for now:
I'm spending the next few days either getting ready for a trip or
coming back from one. I will not have time to write (which violates
the whole premise of what I'm doing, but I'll ignore that for now, as
long as I make a habit of writing), then I'll start writing again.
I've decided to turn each of the days mentioned in my outline to
Crossfire into an individual 500 word story, so the series of them
will constitute a larger work. But I'm probably not going to do them
back to back.
I have your three stories, plus Elena's, to work on. That gives me 4
stories queued up, not counting Crossfire's series. That should hold
me for a while.
>
> Okay, if you need more just holler. :)
Will do!
Rae
"Buddha Buck" wrote in message
> I'm spending the next few days either getting ready for a trip or
> coming back from one. I will not have time to write (which violates
> the whole premise of what I'm doing, but I'll ignore that for now, as
> long as I make a habit of writing), then I'll start writing again.
The only english teacher I ever had who didn't make me want to pull my hair
out was Ms. Weedman in the 8th grade.
She said she didn't care what we wrote in our journals as long as we had
SOMETHING in them that was made up of words.
(I have a wonderful sister who illustrated her poems....one of these days we
are going to make a mint when we get her published.)
So, just a suggestion, get a little note book and keep track.
Note how you feel that day and how much you got done.
If you can't think of anything at all to write, do a weather report that way
there will be no blank pages.
Good luck,
Rae