The Existential Flame War. :-) :-) :-)
Elana Who?
******
Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
fact.
<NEXT!> 8-)
-E.
Michael Holmes
: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
: ******
Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
(he, he! Next!)
--
"I wonder who it was defined man as a rational animal. It was
the most premature definition ever given."
-Lord Henry, in Oscar Wilde's _The Picture of Dorian Gray_
Gary
>Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
>: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
>
>: ******
>
>: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
>: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
>: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
>: fact.
>
>Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
>original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
>one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns and a
too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical jibe about
addition.
NEXT!
Gary
"Old submariners never die as long as they can still get the scope up."
"This communicating of a man's self to his friend works two contrary effects,
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half." - Francis Bacon, Essays
Lynn Allen
> Michael Whom rit:
>
> >Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote: : (The conceptual/existential
> >flame war now begins. ;)
> >
> >: ******
> >
> >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at least
> >: one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as fact.
> >
> >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions original
> >poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least one logical
> >inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
>
> Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns and
> a too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical
> jibe about addition.
>
> NEXT!
Squalid and profane insult of all three previous posters' intelligence,
logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.
NEXT!
Lymaree
Bill Gawne
Quirky twisted reply, including references to cats, Iron Chef, and natto,
which spawns entire subthread about food, lasting long after the flame
war ends.
NEXT!
--
Bill Gawne, in Callahan's as in real life. <ga...@pha.jhu.edu> |
Astronomer at Large - Retired Master Sergeant USMCR - Nothing I
post represents an official position of any organization.
On the web: http://www.pha.jhu.edu/~gawne
Trinker
200 line post by heretofore unknown poster at freemail address,
containing lengthy quotes of apparently random drivel from persons
unknown to anyone but the deranged poster. Evidently triggered by
keyword search relating to the poster's obsession.
NEXT!
--Trinker
Hoagy
>: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
>
>: ******
>
>: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
>: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
>: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
>: fact.
>
>Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
>original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
>one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad >infinitum.
>
>Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating >four puns and
a
>too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a >mathematical jibe
about
>addition.
A non-objective exclamation that the first, second, AND third posters are
wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment on
how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague obscene
reference to all three poster's familial upbringings
Next!
Hoagy
--
"It's like I've always said: You can get more with a kind word and a
two-by-four than you can with just a kind word."
-Marcus Cole
Kevin Ahearn
Accusation that Patron A, whose writing style differs quite a bit from that of
Patron B, is actually Patron B's sock puppet. This accusation occurs despite
the fact that Patrons A and B agree occasionally at best, and even then only by
accident.
NEXT!
--Kevin
The newest version of the universe is running around with arms akimbo, foaming
the mouth, completely out of its mind.
--Joel Achenbach
Remove shooting star to reply. Unsolicited commercial e-mails will be shat
upon and reported to your ISP.
Abner Mintz
> Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
> original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
"Attempt to pour oil on the fire, disguised as attempt to
pour oil on troubled waters - subtly misrepresenting each
side's position while making it look like the misrepresenting
was done by first and second posters."
Trinker
Ad hominem attack on various posters, based on past flame wars.
--Trinker
finding this the most amusing alt.callahans thread in ages.
Donna Leaf
wrote:
Visit from the dishelved figure in the Nomex (tm) suit and
Plexiglas (tm) riot shield, which, without responding directly to any
of the previous posters, manages to invoke the Rodney King doctrine
(i.e., "Can't we all just get along?")
MM (thoroughly enjoying this thread, without the use of 'protection')
Warren Senders
>>> >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at least
>>> >: one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as fact.
>>> >
>>> >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions original
>>> >poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least one logical
>>> >inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
>>>
>>> Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns and
>>> a too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical
>>> jibe about addition.
>>>
>>> NEXT!
>>
>>Squalid and profane insult of all three previous posters' intelligence,
>>logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
>>invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
>>uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
>>newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.
>>
>>NEXT!
>>
>
>Accusation that Patron A, whose writing style differs quite a bit from that
>of
>Patron B, is actually Patron B's sock puppet. This accusation occurs despite
>the fact that Patrons A and B agree occasionally at best, and even then
>only by
>accident.
>
>NEXT!
Sententious, ponderous, polysyllabically verbose reinterpretation of
original poster's intent, based on wholly spurious premise that
original poster's wording included archaic British nominative
singular vernacular usage rather than homonymous modern
American idiom with entirely opposite connotation -- the whole
indicating utter inability to recognize either flames or trolls,
and taking up, in a single extravagantly extended sentence,
ang an
unsuccessful attempt to ambiguate the original offensive
statement and its responses while establishing the current
poster as the only possible authority on any subject.
NEXT!!
Warren
Erick Vermillion-Salsbury
e-mailed to the original poster despite requests to the contrary)
Concise rebuttal of a point not found in the original post, followed by
a detailed discussion of the ancestry and personal hygiene of the author
...that last being completely invalidated by a mistaken assumption about
the author's gender [1].
Next!
--
Erick Vermillion-Salsbury, graphic artist
http://www.concentric.net/~erick/
[1] Misuse of the term "gender" where "sex" would be more accurate done
intentionally as a troll for pedants, as is the use of a numerical
footnote with less than two footnotes.
Gary
all attempts at amelioation, in order to add one-line-concurrence. Note the
return address sans munging.
Netdancer
news:20011024221227...@mb-ft.aol.com:
> Extensive quotation of all previous posts, from all branches, including
> any and all attempts at amelioation, in order to add
> one-line-concurrence. Note the return address sans munging.
> Gary
> "Old submariners never die as long as they can still get the scope up."
Two-page flame, extremely insulting and cutting, about 'me too' posters.
Includes every previous post in thread, just in case anyonem missed anything.
Wanders off into discussion of the "September Effect" and the horrid and
demonic nature of AOL.
NEXT!
Sam Robinson
>>>>"Bill Gawne" <ga...@pha.jhu.edu> wrote in message
news:3BD73EBA...@pha.jhu.edu...
Munged attributions completely obfuscating who said what, with a an oddly
styled quotation structure, which attempts to melt the opposing viewpoints
into a gender/sexual orientation/cultural observation of no possible
relevance, with wordwrapping problems.
Benton
Warren Senders <war...@aol.comqwerty> wrote in message
news:20011024211944...@mb-mf.aol.com...
Suggestive product post detailing the benefits of penile enhancement,
cross-posted to numerous similarly non-interested newsgroups, containing
several capped typographical errors indicative of the "quality" of their
product, no less than 5 dozen exclamation points, enough material for an
official "slew" of pundays, and physical improbabilities leaving both the
patrons and, evidentally, the first individual to try their product, in
stitches (albeit of a different sort).
NEXT
-Benton
Darkhawk (H. Nicoll)
Excessively pedantic refutation of the incorrect historical notion
presented in utterly tedious prose, complete with multiple URL
references to resources and multi-paragraph quotations from text
references not available on the net, concluding with a clipped but
arguably polite suggestion that the original poster research the subject
properly before daring to venture an opinion.
NEXT!
--
Heather Anne Nicoll - Darkhawk - http://aelfhame.net/~darkhawk/
Just a world that we all must share, it's not enough just to stand and
stare: Is it only a dream that there'll be no more turning away?
--Pink Floyd, "On the Turning Away"
jhetley
"Netdancer" <Netda...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9144D8ADE7100ne...@198.99.146.10...
Totally tangential attack by latecomer who has missed major layers of the
thread due to ISP newsreader glitch. Accusations of trollery, followed by
admonition to not feed the energy creature.
NEXT!
--
Jim
THE SUMMER COUNTRY, a novel of dark contemporary fantasy
Coming in 2002 from Ace Science Fiction & Fantasy
Ellen Clunie
ISP for net abuse]
"Benton" <miwri...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9r7u7e$a31$1...@suaar1aa.prod.compuserve.com...
Extensive post from new person, attacking each of the regulars who have
added comments to the post as being exclusionary of new people and
non-welcoming. Obvious "new poster" posting style which includes references
to a Cabal [1] of regulars designed to keep newcomers from posting.
NEXT
Ellen
The Auburn Owl
[1] There Is No Cabal...
Lissa McCollum
>
> >Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
> >: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
> >
> >: ******
> >
> >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
> >: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
> >: fact.
> >
> >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
> >original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> >one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad >infinitum.
> >
> >Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating >four puns and
> a
> >too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a >mathematical jibe
> about
> >addition.
>
> A non-objective exclamation that the first, second, AND third posters are
> wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment on
> how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague obscene
> reference to all three poster's familial upbringings
>
> Next!
Well meaning attempt to diffuse the situation by invoking the Founding
Principles of the Newsgroup. Distraction techniques consisting of
smooches,
dancing girls, camels, and a gratuitous food fight.
NEXT!
Lissa
Feather
> >Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
> >: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
>
> >: ******
>
> >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
> >: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
> >: fact.
> >
> >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
> >original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> >one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad >infinitum.
> >
> >Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating >four puns and
> a
> >too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a >mathematical jibe
> about
> >addition.
>
> A non-objective exclamation that the first, second, AND third posters are
> wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment on
> how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague obscene
> reference to all three poster's familial upbringings
>
> Next!
(oh, this is *good*... ;)
Bewildered attempt to clarify first poster's message and create some
peace... puts in a lot of fuzzy, positive detail about minority's
culture, history, faith, arts and crafts, goes on and on about their
unique style of cooking, keeps on talking...
..and manages to niavely drop in an insulting adjective normally used
to denigrate that partucular minority group in question as if never
knowing that word is the cultural insult that it is.
NEXT!!!!
-Feather
Lee S. Billings
Indignant accusation that the last poster is Trying To Change The Subject,
followed by a complete recapitulation of all previous exchanges (complete with
misapprehensions introduced along the way). No new material included at all
after the initial outrage.
NEXT!
Celine
--
"Only the powers of evil claim that doing good is boring."
-- Diane Duane, _Nightfall at Algemron_
Duane E. Peters
"Me too" post.
Duane
(It had to be done...)
maenad
> NEXT!
Cranky complaint about topic drift and nobody changing the subject line.
NEXT!
maenad
--
Cry "CHEEBLE!" and let slip the hamsters of war.
-------------------> maenad <at> vex <dot> net <-------------------
Martin Julian DeMello
The Bouncing Beatnik
Billings) wrote:
Personal message of support and long, snide, gratuitous and sexually
graphic description of every other poster in the thread. Revelation of
all manner of highly embarassing information about author and intended
recipient. Accidently posted to Usenet instead of being emailed as
intended.
NEXT!
Trinker
Martin Julian DeMello wrote:
>
> me too
A rant about the annoyance of top-posting, as well as about one-line
replies with no snippage of quoting. Extraneous snide commentary about
the previous poster's ISP.
--Trinker
Mr. Don Paul
> > > >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> > > >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
least
> > > >: one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as fact.
> > > >
> > > >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
original
> > > >poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least one logical
> > > >inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
> > >
> > > Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns
and
> > > a too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical
> > > jibe about addition.
> > >
> > > NEXT!
> >
> > Squalid and profane insult of all three previous posters' intelligence,
> > logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
> > invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
> > uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
> > newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.
> >
> > NEXT!
>
> Quirky twisted reply, including references to cats, Iron Chef, and natto,
> which spawns entire subthread about food, lasting long after the flame
> war ends.
>
> NEXT!
Some ASSHOLE from the 3rd World takes umbrage, complains of the
Americanisation of the Internet, proceeds to expound anti-American POV and
adds recipes for Boerewors Caserole, Springbok fritters with a light
Algerian Chocolate Sauce.
Next
Mr. Don Paul
Have we reached the point yet where someone mentions the name "Hitler"?
Just checking
D
René A. Vega
"Mr. Don Paul" wrote:
> ...recipes for Boerewors Caserole, Springbok fritters with a light Algerian
> Chocolate Sauce.
>
> Next
Inappropriate out of context excerpt of original posting and a request for the
recipe sent with HTML embeddings to a text-only usenet group.
Next
Draco
Martin Julian DeMello
A sincere, heartfelt and dripping with pained emotion, but nonetheless
misspelt and basically incoherent rant about how some people need to get a
life and stop trying to set themselves up as net cops.
--
Martin DeMello/zem
40 line .sig here
Martin Julian DeMello
> -------------------> maenad <at> vex <dot> net <-------------------
Boilerplate rant against spamblocks, backed up with citations, statistics,
studies on ergonomics, the spammer mentality, harvesting software and the
psychology of the individual.
Pointedly posted only.
--
Martin DeMello/zem
Miche
smallg...@excite.com (Feather) wrote:
> Bewildered attempt to clarify first poster's message and create some
> peace... puts in a lot of fuzzy, positive detail about minority's
> culture, history, faith, arts and crafts, goes on and on about their
> unique style of cooking, keeps on talking...
>
> ..and manages to niavely drop in an insulting adjective normally used
> to denigrate that partucular minority group in question as if never
> knowing that word is the cultural insult that it is.
>
>
>
> NEXT!!!!
Repost of "how many usenet posters does it take to change a lightbulb"
joke.
NEXT!
Miche
--
And you may say to yourself "Well -- how did I get here?"
-- Once in a Lifetime, Talking Heads
Patrick O'Shea
>pjc...@aol.come.to.bed (Gary) wrote in
>Two-page flame, extremely insulting and cutting, about 'me too' posters.
>Includes every previous post in thread, just in case anyonem missed anything.
>Wanders off into discussion of the "September Effect" and the horrid and
>demonic nature of AOL.
>
>NEXT!
Poory thought out and...'grammatically challenged' reply, with several
cuss words used in unimaginative ways. Closes with a threat to leave
the group, only good for about three days or so.
Amidst a huddled crowd, inside a beggar's lair
dwell four noble travellers, whose thoughts are fine and fair
To the crowd they speak aloud, all the four as one,
"Be not afraid to trust thy heart, and with us ye shall come"
-Johnathan Lindsey Sheehan, 'Blues Traveller: Travellers & thieves'
uk...@lightspeed.bc.ca | Please post and email replies
ICQ #54483027 | Newsserver eats posts, and still
| won't diet.....
http://www.lightspeed.bc.ca/personalpage/ukyo/Random.htm
Earl P. Jones
brotherly love.
Earl Jones
Ali ;-)
<d...@oscartango.co.za> wrote:
>
>Have we reached the point yet where someone mentions the name "Hitler"?
>
It is pointed out that the thread has become Godwinized and heated
debate ensues on whether this has actually happened.
NEXT!
Ali ;-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards
of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork
involved when your house lands on a witch." - Dave James
jacko
> the previous poster's ISP and hir opinion about guncontrol.
complaining about snipping too much text, change the quote thats left.
To keep the Flame War really going adding some arguments against peoples
right to have fire-arms.
NEXT!
peter
--
Ik heb liever te maken met iemand die zegt de Waarheid te zoeken
dan met iemand die zegt 'm gevonden te hebben.
Martin Julian DeMello
>
> Ad hominem attack on various posters, based on past flame wars.
Newbie complaint that this borders on cliquishness, followed by a
thirty-seven point numbered list of exactly how the newsgroup, as a whole,
fails to conduct itself properly, how this could be improved to everyone's
mutual benefit, and how grateful you should all be for an unbiased
newcomer's opinions on the matter.
--
Martin DeMello/zem (loving this thread - yay elena!)
Netdancer
news:9r8l2o$e8i$2...@joe.rice.edu:
> Trinker <trinke...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>>
>> Ad hominem attack on various posters, based on past flame wars.
>
> Newbie complaint that this borders on cliquishness, followed by a
> thirty-seven point numbered list of exactly how the newsgroup, as a whole,
> fails to conduct itself properly, how this could be improved to everyone's
> mutual benefit, and how grateful you should all be for an unbiased
> newcomer's opinions on the matter.
>
Extremely cold and formal rebuff, including a suggestion that the previous
poster should read the charter and the Faq. Pointers to both, but they aren't
working properly about half the time. Side comments to the regulars about
Clueless Newbies, another reference back to the "September Effect".
Fifty line .sig full of quotes everyone's seen a hundred times.
Martin Julian DeMello
>
> Extremely cold and formal rebuff, including a suggestion that the previous
> poster should read the charter and the Faq. Pointers to both, but they
> aren't working properly about half the time. Side comments to the regulars
> about Clueless Newbies, another reference back to the "September Effect".
>
> Fifty line .sig full of quotes everyone's seen a hundred times.
.sig gleefully pounced upon, a great deal made of the fact that a net Nazi
has violated netiquette to such an extent. Much bandying of cliches
involving pots, kettles and glass houses. Some discourse on the difference
between *real* Old-Timers and wannabes, and how it is always the latter who
jump upon newbies in a pathetic attempt to prove their In-ness.
Segue into an ostensibly gentle and civilised, but drippingly patronising
tone, explaining how one need not put down newbies in order to boost one's
ego. Frequent use of group injokes, usenet injokes and references to the
Cabal (TINC).
--
Martin DeMello/zem | All that is gold does not glitter
Ostentatiously 72x4 .sig, | -- J.R.R.Tolkien
complete with ruler | The Lord of the Rings
123456789|123456789|123456789|123456789|123456789|123456789|123456789|12
D.A.
> me too
[snip fully quoted post]
A top posted, fully quoted and adding only a me to....
I will not even attempt to best this post. Martin, in my not so humble
opinion, you earned top billing as a flamer... BYNO?
--
D.A.
Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;
Anger is one letter shorter than Danger.
Lee S. Billings
Quote of the entire thread up to this point, followed by a snide comment to the
effect that Iron Chef and natto are hardly *American*. (It is difficult to tell
whether the poster likes or dislikes them for that reason.) Also a lengthy
exposition on the relative numbers of Americans vs. non-Americans currently
using the Net, with multiple citations of URLS all purporting to prove that Net
usage is heavily if not overwhelmingly American, and asking "What do you
expect"?
Martin Julian DeMello
> "Martin Julian DeMello" <mdem...@vermiculated.owlnet.rice.edu> wrote in
> message news:9r8ch7$558$7...@joe.rice.edu...
>
>> me too
>
> [snip fully quoted post]
>
> A top posted, fully quoted and adding only a me to....
>
> I will not even attempt to best this post. Martin, in my not so humble
> opinion, you earned top billing as a flamer... BYNO?
Thanks :) Coffee, sil vous plait.
--
Martin DeMello/zem
Matt Drury
> random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
> least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
> fact.
Subtle allusion to the misspelling designed to be just within acceptable
parameters and avoid moderation of message or denial of access, with a side
chiding encouraging better research.
Matt Drury
> original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
A calling on the snotty put-down with one equally as bad, noting in a
surrealist way how the inconsistency could be seen by a smart reader.
Matt Drury
a
> too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical jibe
about
> addition.
Continued punning on both the original and mathematical fronts.
Matt Drury
> logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
> invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
> uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
> newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.
A defending of the posters' right to post anywhere, any time, whenever they
feel like it; and a sarcastic thank-you for the invitation, describing in
lurid detail (and without punctuation) the journal entry which resulted.
Crossposted to alt.gothic.fashion, alt.fairs.renaissance, rec.folk-dancing,
alt.tv.star-trek.enterprise, comp.sys.palmtops.pilot and
rec.autos.makers.saturn.
Matt Drury
> which spawns entire subthread about food, lasting long after the flame
> war ends.
Subthread continues with debased comments about the various Iron Chefs and
their extracurricular activities, slowly returning to the subject at hand,
which now includes obscene references to cucumbers.
Matt Drury
> containing lengthy quotes of apparently random drivel from persons
> unknown to anyone but the deranged poster. Evidently triggered by
> keyword search relating to the poster's obsession.
A 400 line post from a net.savior documenting the complete traceroute and
header of the original spoofed post, noting home telephone numbers of
responsible ISP network security chiefs.
Matt Drury
> styled quotation structure, which attempts to melt the opposing viewpoints
> into a gender/sexual orientation/cultural observation of no possible
> relevance, with wordwrapping problems.
All-lower-case defense of one's right to use "hir" and "sie" in proper
context, which is confusing to some as that didn't seem to be at issue until
now.
Matt Drury
Cranky complainer told exactly what sie can do with hir complaint, in no
uncertain terms and in a language that encourages the idea of network
ratings on newsgroups.
Matt Drury
> studies on ergonomics, the spammer mentality, harvesting software and the
> psychology of the individual.
A side rant on the effectiveness of SpamCop.Net and similar services to stop
the flood of UCE, closing with a gently prodding remark about the original
thread akin to the comments in "Alice's Restaurant."
Matt Drury
> Americanisation of the Internet, proceeds to expound anti-American POV and
> adds recipes for Boerewors Caserole, Springbok fritters with a light
> Algerian Chocolate Sauce.
Gentle reminder of the source of the Internet, using veiled threats intended
to slip past third-world cultures with a lesser grasp of English (the
language of the Internet). Claims that the recipes were tested and tasted
disgusting.
Matt Drury
the
> recipe sent with HTML embeddings to a text-only usenet group.
A slew of Osama bin Laden "knowing" a farm animal binaries which make it
only to a very few recipients thanks to server-level filters.
Matt Drury
to the
> effect that Iron Chef and natto are hardly *American*. (It is difficult to
tell
> whether the poster likes or dislikes them for that reason.) Also a lengthy
> exposition on the relative numbers of Americans vs. non-Americans
currently
> using the Net, with multiple citations of URLS all purporting to prove
that Net
> usage is heavily if not overwhelmingly American, and asking "What do you
> expect"?
Poster claiming to be from Rigel Centauri X reminds everyone that Al Gore
invented the Internet, and reveals that the source of his inspiration came
from the freedom fighters of R.C. IV in such a way that it ties into the War
on Terrorism in an eerily tight manner.
Matt Drury
that of
> Patron B, is actually Patron B's sock puppet. This accusation occurs
despite
> the fact that Patrons A and B agree occasionally at best, and even then
only by
> accident.
Bandwagon-jumper begins to correlate times and IP addresses of postings in
an attempt to show that they're one and the same, with a great deal of time
on his collective hands.
Matt Drury
> original poster's intent, based on wholly spurious premise that
> original poster's wording included archaic British nominative
> singular vernacular usage rather than homonymous modern
> American idiom with entirely opposite connotation -- the whole
> indicating utter inability to recognize either flames or trolls,
> and taking up, in a single extravagantly extended sentence,
> ang an
> unsuccessful attempt to ambiguate the original offensive
> statement and its responses while establishing the current
> poster as the only possible authority on any subject.
One rude expletive in reply.
Matt Drury
> cross-posted to numerous similarly non-interested newsgroups, containing
> several capped typographical errors indicative of the "quality" of their
> product, no less than 5 dozen exclamation points, enough material for an
> official "slew" of pundays, and physical improbabilities leaving both the
> patrons and, evidentally, the first individual to try their product, in
> stitches (albeit of a different sort).
Comment noting receipt of two contradictory spams and the hilarity which
ensued.
Matt Drury
> added comments to the post as being exclusionary of new people and
> non-welcoming. Obvious "new poster" posting style which includes
references
> to a Cabal [1] of regulars designed to keep newcomers from posting.
Proof of nonexistent cabal dredged up through repeated forays into the
Google archives and quoting out of context.
Matt Drury
Complaints about a certain major ISP's lack of training for its members on
newsgroup courtesy.
Matt Drury
> replies with no snippage of quoting. Extraneous snide commentary about
A high-five to this replier for having the same idea at the same time.
Devolves into weak pickup lines and eventual sadness.
Matt Drury
> misspelt and basically incoherent rant about how some people need to get a
> life and stop trying to set themselves up as net cops.
A detailed, footnoted report showing how net cops have saved the Internet
from atomic blast, heroin addiction and poor grammar over the years.
Matt Drury
> To keep the Flame War really going adding some arguments against peoples
> right to have fire-arms.
Complaints that the traditional quotes of the BBS days, ">, are far more
intuitive than the mere > symbol used now. Anticipates comments about
doubling bandwidth by noting the binary structure of the ASCII symbols used
and their tendency to be compressed well.
Matt Drury
> wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment on
> how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague obscene
> reference to all three poster's familial upbringings
Which is then scooped by a twist of logic to imply that the upbringing in
question was with wild animals and not polite society.
Matt Drury
> Principles of the Newsgroup. Distraction techniques consisting of
> smooches,
> dancing girls, camels, and a gratuitous food fight.
"Founding Principles" argued to be a bunch of bunk forced on an unknowing
populace by a small, behind-the-scenes group of a generally frowned-upon
religion as a method of dividing and conquering.
Matt Drury
> followed by a complete recapitulation of all previous exchanges (complete
with
> misapprehensions introduced along the way). No new material included at
all
> after the initial outrage.
A nudge that the subject *should* be changed at this point as it's beginning
to smell like an infant's undies, but that the sender doesn't know how.
Matt Drury
> graphic description of every other poster in the thread. Revelation of
> all manner of highly embarassing information about author and intended
> recipient. Accidently posted to Usenet instead of being emailed as
> intended.
Demands for message cancellation and ways to do that to other people's
posts, to protect the integrity of the newsgroup from passing glances.
Matt Drury
> peace... puts in a lot of fuzzy, positive detail about minority's
> culture, history, faith, arts and crafts, goes on and on about their
> unique style of cooking, keeps on talking...
>
> ..and manages to niavely drop in an insulting adjective normally used
> to denigrate that partucular minority group in question as if never
> knowing that word is the cultural insult that it is.
A note that the spelling of the minority group in question is in error, as
practiced today and not in the previous century.
Matt Drury
> joke.
A question from a newbie about what is usenet.
Matt Drury
> pour oil on troubled waters - subtly misrepresenting each
> side's position while making it look like the misrepresenting
> was done by first and second posters."
Prior post is run through a grammar/spelling checker which notes the grade
level at which the message can be read easily, with the results posted as
fact, without comment.
Matt Drury
Sexually suggestive play on words based on the term "ad hominem."
Matt Drury
> Plexiglas (tm) riot shield, which, without responding directly to any
> of the previous posters, manages to invoke the Rodney King doctrine
> (i.e., "Can't we all just get along?")
A reminder to the poster that the phrase results in beatings or alien
invasions, one or the other, and proceeds to fulfil the prophecy with a bout
of rhetoric not seen since Dennis Miller was in his heyday. Some do not
receive this response due to news-server "buffer overflow" errors.
Matt Drury
any and
> all attempts at amelioation, in order to add one-line-concurrence. Note
the
> return address sans munging.
A complete quote of *that* message with another one-line agreement, along
with a sig line that requires two full pages to view as it includes Mr.
Spock's photo in ASCII art.
Matt Drury
> Includes every previous post in thread, just in case anyonem missed
anything.
> Wanders off into discussion of the "September Effect" and the horrid and
> demonic nature of AOL.
A quick note that it's October, not September, and that the poster should
check hir calendar for Y2K compliance.
Matt Drury
> thread due to ISP newsreader glitch. Accusations of trollery, followed by
> admonition to not feed the energy creature.
Poster claiming to be an actual fairy-tale troll is sick and tired of being
given a bad name and launches into the history and mythology of his
honorable folk, noting that modern high-speed toll roads are a direct
evolutionary offshoot of the noble task at which he works.
Matt Drury
Some hundreds of scatological replies as to just what the "me too" was
agreeing to are sent to the poster's mailbox.
Matt Drury
Reference to "Hister" in Nostradamus' prophecies and a claim that recent
events were predicted by N. some centuries ago.
Matt Drury
> debate ensues on whether this has actually happened.
Newbie asks what Godwinized means, claiming a Net search didn't turn up the
term.
Matt Drury
> cuss words used in unimaginative ways. Closes with a threat to leave
> the group, only good for about three days or so.
Corrected grammar, spelling and syntax returned to member in public without
further comment.
Matt Drury
of
> brotherly love.
One line in return: "WTF?"
Matt Drury
> a detailed discussion of the ancestry and personal hygiene of the author
> ...that last being completely invalidated by a mistaken assumption about
> the author's gender [1].
A multiple-choice flame-reply with appropriate checkboxes marked.
Gene Szedenits, Jr.
"Martin Julian DeMello" <mdem...@vermiculated.owlnet.rice.edu> wrote in
message news:9r8qiv$juo$1...@joe.rice.edu...
Re-re-re-re-re-...-re-posting of tedious excerpt from "Dreck Master".
Not exactly flammage but who claimed relevance was relevant?
Gene
Matt Drury
> thirty-seven point numbered list of exactly how the newsgroup, as a whole,
> fails to conduct itself properly, how this could be improved to everyone's
> mutual benefit, and how grateful you should all be for an unbiased
> newcomer's opinions on the matter.
The newcomer is told to mind hir own business and not speak unless spoken to
by one of the more established members, who swears there is no clique here.
Matt Drury
> poster should read the charter and the Faq. Pointers to both, but they
aren't
> working properly about half the time. Side comments to the regulars about
> Clueless Newbies, another reference back to the "September Effect".
Rebuttal based on a cached copy of a previous FAQ/charter found in the dim
mists of history, claiming that history was changed to allow the clique to
thrive at the expensive of more rational posters.
Matt Drury
> has violated netiquette to such an extent. Much bandying of cliches
> involving pots, kettles and glass houses. Some discourse on the difference
> between *real* Old-Timers and wannabes, and how it is always the latter
who
> jump upon newbies in a pathetic attempt to prove their In-ness.
>
> Segue into an ostensibly gentle and civilised, but drippingly patronising
> tone, explaining how one need not put down newbies in order to boost one's
> ego. Frequent use of group injokes, usenet injokes and references to the
> Cabal (TINC).
Which starts a spate of badly formatted forwarded jokes and urban legends
relating, however dimly, to the subject at hand.
Matt Drury
> presented in utterly tedious prose, complete with multiple URL
> references to resources and multi-paragraph quotations from text
> references not available on the net, concluding with a clipped but
> arguably polite suggestion that the original poster research the subject
> properly before daring to venture an opinion.
Surrealist perspective that history is a folded duck, apparently posted by
jeh...@heaven.mil.
Matt Drury
much fun in an extended thread in many a day. BOYC?
Matt Drury
Ethnic minority offended by the term "dreck" and demands its permanent
banning from all conversation.
Jiri Baum
> Thanks :) Coffee, sil vous plait.
A multi-page, excruciatingly detailed explanation of the orthography and
history of various Indo-European languages, especially as they pertain to
the assumed mistake (in reality merely a typo) of the previous poster.
Jiri
sig containing a link to an open-source project
and a self-referential joke in Klingon
Alison Murray
Snide diatribe about newbies, mention of the FAQ (again). Snotty
pointers on how to use a search engine to find actual answers.
Aspersions are cast on the newbie's ISP (again), and more references
to Eternal September are tossed in for good measure.
NEXT!
Ali ;-)
Alison Murray
Poster of same ethnic minority is offended by this and demands to know
exactly why the term is offensive.
NEXT!
Ali ;-)
Tendyl
>(The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
>
> ******
>
>Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
>random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
>least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
>fact.
>
A semi-lurker ponders the length of thread and amount of inane thread
drift and decides to read elsewhere before they get eaten.
Sam Robinson
> >>>>"Bill Gawne" <ga...@pha.jhu.edu> wrote in message
> news:3BD73EBA...@pha.jhu.edu...
> Lynn Allen wrote:
> > >
> > > Gary <pjc...@aol.come.to.bed> wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote: : (The conceptual/existential
> > flame war now begins. ;)
> > > > >
> > > > >: ******
>
> > > > >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> > > > >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
> least
> > > > >: one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as fact.
> > > > >
> original
> > > > >poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least one logical
> > > > >inconsistency which will be defended ad infinitum.
> > > >
> > > > Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating four puns
> and
> > > > a too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a mathematical
> > > > jibe about addition.
> > > >
> > > > NEXT!
> > >
> > > Squalid and profane insult of all three previous posters' intelligence,
> > > logical facilities, wit and ancestry, ending with an oddly inappropriate
> > > invitation for all of them to indulge in self-pleasuring. Graphic
> > > uppercase insistence that this issue does not belong on this particular
> > > newsgroup. Crossposted to alt.performance.art and alt.fozzybear.
> > >
> > > NEXT!
> >
> > Quirky twisted reply, including references to cats, Iron Chef, and natto,
> > which spawns entire subthread about food, lasting long after the flame
> > war ends.
> >
> > NEXT!
> >
>
> Munged attributions completely obfuscating who said what, with a an oddly
> styled quotation structure, which attempts to melt the opposing viewpoints
> into a gender/sexual orientation/cultural observation of no possible
> relevance, with wordwrapping problems.
reponds to own post after realizing that he forgot to put the word
next at the end. Corrects the error, which no one cared about.
NEXT
SamR
Jiri Baum
>> of brotherly love.
Matt Drury:
> One line in return: "WTF?"
Three separate newbie queries as to the meaning of this acronym.
Jiri
sig containing a self-referential joke in Klingon
Sneaky Furfoot
"Matt Drury" <drag...@spamcop.net> wrote:
> You, sir or madam as the case may be, are a Super Genius. I haven't had that
> much fun in an extended thread in many a day. BOYC?
The lilac-point pseudofeline, brow wrinkled in
concentration, sniffs all over the room trying to locate the
thread in question.
"No, not that one......not THAT one either....
Hey, give us a clue! Which thread was so much fun?
And which particular Super Genius (there are so many
in residence, here <g>) is being offered a beverage?"
--
--
Sneaky Furfoot katn...@aol.com-delete unnecessary text to reply
-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 80,000 Newsgroups - 16 Different Servers! =-----
Jette Goldie
Lissa McCollum <lis...@qwest.net> wrote in message
news:3BD79715...@qwest.net...
> Hoagy wrote:
> >
> > >Elana Who? <falc...@excite.com> wrote:
> > >: (The conceptual/existential flame war now begins. ;)
> > >
> > >: ******
> > >
> > >: Rambling, not-well thought-out, however well-meaning opinion about
> > >: random minority culture, country and their religion. Includes at
> > >: least one misspelled word and a wrong historical idea presented as
> > >: fact.
> > >
> > >Curt, snotty put-down disguised as logical rebuttal. Questions
> > >original poster's ability to think rationally. Includes at least
> > >one logical inconsistency which will be defended ad >infinitum.
> > >
> > >Marginally on-topic defense of original poster incorporating >four puns
and
> > a
> > >too-clever play on words at second poster's expense -a >mathematical
jibe
> > about
> > >addition.
> >
are
> > wrong as rainwater in the living room, a snide, self-inflating comment
on
> > how this poster and their opinion is superior, plus a not-so-vague
obscene
> > reference to all three poster's familial upbringings
> >
> > Next!
>
> Well meaning attempt to diffuse the situation by invoking the Founding
> Principles of the Newsgroup. Distraction techniques consisting of
> smooches,
> dancing girls, camels, and a gratuitous food fight.
>
> NEXT!
More attempts to diffuse the situation turn into completely
tangental (and interesting) conversations of their own :-)
--
Jette
"Work for Peace and remain fiercely loving" - Jim Byrnes
je...@blueyonder.co.uk
http://www.jette.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fanfic.html
Earl P. Jones
>
> > A sincere, heartfelt and dripping with pained emotion, but nonetheless
> > misspelt and basically incoherent rant about how some people need to get a
> > life and stop trying to set themselves up as net cops.
>
> A detailed, footnoted report showing how net cops have saved the Internet
> from atomic blast, heroin addiction and poor grammar over the years.
A snide observation that no fewer than FIVE of the (41) footnotes reference
obvious parody sites, along with insinuations about the degree of genetic
congruence between one's parents necessary to overlook this plain truth.
Earl Jones
Trinker
Sneaky Furfoot wrote:
>
> In article <9r98mn$5m2$1...@suaar1aa.prod.compuserve.com>,
> "Matt Drury" <drag...@spamcop.net> wrote:
>
> > You, sir or madam as the case may be, are a Super Genius. I haven't had that
> > much fun in an extended thread in many a day. BOYC?
>
> The lilac-point pseudofeline, brow wrinkled in
> concentration, sniffs all over the room trying to locate the
> thread in question.
>
> "No, not that one......not THAT one either....
> Hey, give us a clue! Which thread was so much fun?
> And which particular Super Genius (there are so many
> in residence, here <g>) is being offered a beverage?"
It is suggested that the lilac-point pseudofeline check
for the one that Matt Drury posted 42 messages to.
--Trinker
Earl P. Jones
>
> > Extensive post from new person, attacking each of the regulars who have
> > added comments to the post as being exclusionary of new people and
> > non-welcoming. Obvious "new poster" posting style which includes
> references
> > to a Cabal [1] of regulars designed to keep newcomers from posting.
>
> Proof of nonexistent cabal dredged up through repeated forays into the
> Google archives and quoting out of context.
Obligatory anonymous death threat for revealing the secret.