From the Story Corner - Naked Through the Snow
Sailor Jim Johnston
the leather comfy chair. Carefully setting his drink on one of the
many salt licks scattered about; he uses a second as an ottoman and
puts his boot-clad feet up.
"Ahhhhhh .." he slowly slides into the proper story telling position, a
half-asleep slump, and reclaims his drink. "This story should be
entitled 'The Blond Leading the Blind.' It is pretty much true, with
only the occasional embellishment to make me sound a little smarter
than I actually was.
"It was the winter of 1984 and I was stationed in Topeka, Kansas. I
was married, but my wife was living in another part of the state and
the only reason we were still married was so she could get an operation
on her spine. (After she gathered up her kids and left me, an old
injury finally spiked and she ended up having three vertebrae
removed .. but that's another story.)
"I was living in a hole-in-the-wall efficiency, one with a built in
Murphy bed. (In case any of you have never had the pleasure of living
with a Murphy bed, you’ve – no doubt – seen them in old movies. They
are the beds that swing up into the wall and look like a cabinet of
some sort.) I'd been without the pleasure of feminine company for
around half a year and finally decided that it was time to see if I
could interest some young lady into taking a chance with *ahem*
Murphy’s law.
"I put on my best glad rags and headed out into the heady pleasures
that could only be described as the 'Topeka Nightlife.' I did a little
bar hopping, scoping out the possible action, and finally had to admit
a previously unnoticed fact; Topeka had no nightlife to speak of! (If
you've ever been in Topeka on a Friday night, you'll understand why
this town is called the softball capital of America.)
"I was sitting in one of the many bars in town, nursing a drink and had
just come to the decision to call it a night, when Christine walked
in. She was about my height and a trifle top-heavy (which I’ve never
considered a fault), but otherwise a delightfully put together lady.
Heavy blonde hair hung halfway down her back and a light black dress
hung halfway down her strong thighs. I grinned . . . until I noticed
that she was searching the bar with her eyes, judging and coldly
dismissing everyone she walked by, and that most of the men in the bar
(who had been hitting on everything that even possibly could have been
considered feminine, including the video game heroine and the posters
on the wall) were carefully getting out of her way.
"Before I could puzzle out this dual oddity, her eyes locked on mine
and her whole body smiled. It was the visual equivalent of touching
one’s tongue to a battery . . . a dry cell ... one big enough to power
a 16 wheeler. In the back of my head, ancient chimps high-fived each
other and lit up cigars.
"She settled onto the stool next to me with a hip swivel that spoke
volumes. I asked if I could buy her a drink, she said she didn't
drink. I cocked my head and asked what the hell was she doing in a
dive like this if she didn't drink?
"In reply, she slowly licked her lips while running her eyes over me.
I felt .. Well, I guess I sorta felt like most ladies must while in the
presence of men on the prowl. I casually brushed the USDA sticker off
of my chest and asked if she wanted to leave.
"Within moments, we were back at my apartment and naked. She started to
pull me down to the carpeted floor, but I held up and hand and pulled a
bed out of the wall. She laughed . . . and tossed her purse onto the
bed.
"It clanked. The old chimps put out their cigars and looked at each
other in mild alarm.
"She asked just how adventurous I was and I relaxed. Okay, she was a
little kinky. My last wife had been into the occasional fantasy scene
and we'd played cops and robbers more than once, exchanging roles as
the need hit. I asked her what toys she had in her bags of tricks.
"She pulled out four sets of handcuffs. Not toy cuffs, like my ex-wife
had, but the real items. She snapped one cuff of all four onto the top
bar of the Murphy bed, commenting on how nice it was to have a built in
place for them. She pushed me back onto the bed and, after
demonstrating an astonishing degree of flautist skill, snapped the free
end of two of the cuffs around my wrists.
"Okay, my chimps had begun to gibber slightly, but - after her brief
demonstration – so had I. In all honesty, she could have hog-tied me
with barbed wire at that point and I wouldn't have complained too
loudly."
Sailor Jim takes a contemplative sip of his drink and notes, "It is
such a bitch being a guy at times, huh?
"Anyway, she then snapped a snug hinged ring onto the base of
Squeaker. I told her that it really wasn't necessary, but she just
smiled and told me she liked to plan for long nights. She then turned
her back on me and rummaged in her purse. She took a few items,
keeping them out of my sight, and tossed her purse onto my kitchen
counter. She then disappeared into the bathroom, calling out that
she’d be right back.
"I hardly noticed.
"Her purse had landed with a thud and slid until the opening was facing
me.
"There was a rather large gun sitting in it.
"The chimps wet themselves and hit the panic button.
"I strained against the handcuffs and, without much effort at all,
heard/felt the metal bar pop loose on the left side. Praise Budda for
cheap construction! Just then she walked back in.
"She had a small whip in her right hand and a tube of KY in her left.
She face was twisted into a snarl and she was wearing – HOLY SHIT! - A
strap-on dildo that put Squeeker to shame! I noted that it glistened
with a generous coat of petroleum jelly and at that point both of the
chimps screamed 'EEEEEKKK' clutched at their hairy chests and fell to
the ground.
"I rolled off the bed to the left and the cuffs slid off the bar where
it had popped loose from the structure. She screamed in rage and leapt
for her purse. The bed separated us, keeping me from any chance of
stopping her, so I headed for the door (blessing myself for renting a
one-room efficiency).
"She screamed for me to stop as I cleared the top rail of the steps. I
fell into a snowdrift and put it in top gear. I chanced to look behind
me and saw that she was, to my total amazement, actually chasing me
through the snow .. In the nude .. With the whip and gun .. Still
wearing the dildo.
("Okay, I suppose there are other places in the world where a naked six
foot man, with handcuffs dangling from each wrist and sporting a large
erection, could be chased by a naked six foot woman, with a huge dildo
bouncing about in front of her, a whip in one hand and a gun in the
other, at nine at night, and have nobody notice . . . but I haven't
heard of any, so let's just rack this up to it being Topeka and rejoin
the action.)
"Two blocks later, when I realized that she was steadily gaining on me,
I decided I needed a plan. I'd been on active duty for better than ten
years, hadn't I? I'd taken the entire advance training, didn't I?
I'd .. She screamed again for me to stop and her gun echoed her command
in a remarkably deep bass accompaniment. The mental paramedics who
were caring for my chimps passed out in terror and I found a higher
gear. Plan, schman; what I really needed was longer legs!
"I slid around a corner like something out of a demented Warner
Brothers cartoon and passed the parked police car doing around thirty.
I heard a muffled shout as I passed, but didn't dare slow down. A car
door opened and a football sounding impact followed close on its
heels. I looked over my shoulder and, exhausted, collapsed into the
snow. The policeman riding shotgun in the patrol car had opened his
door at the exact right moment and Christine had cannonball'd right
into it. She laid sprawled face up, dildo gently swaying, on the
ground in front of the startled cop, who blurted out:
"What the . . . Sargent Cooper?!?"
While he attended to her, his partner (the driver) came and helped me
back to the police car. We both ended up in the hospital; she for a
month with a cracked skull, whiplash, and several broken ribs, and I
overnight for exposure (as well as a mild, but very embarrassing, case
of frostbite due to that stupid metal ring she had snapped onto my
erection). In the end, she elected to retire from the police force,
voluntarily, and moved from Topeka immediately following her
uncontested divorce. I, at the dual urgings of my command and the
police department, did not lodge any formal complaint and accepted an
official decal sticker for my Honda sub-compact that was the equivalent
of a 'Big Time Friend of the Force' pass, guaranteed to make even the
most dedicated cop in town look the other way for any minor infraction.
"However, I was still pulled over many, many times by patrolmen who
just wanted to buy me a cup of coffee and hear the whole story. I also
learned which bar in town was their official hang-out and did not buy
myself another drink the entire time I was stationed in that town.
"Within a month, my chimps had made a full recovery .. Although they
still tend to act a little jumpy in the presence of tall blondes .. And
my life had once more settled down to that state I laughingly refer to
as 'normal.'
"Around six months later, Dian moved in with me and, when my own
divorce was final married me .. Saving me from ever having to do
anything that stupid again by keeping both Squeeker and myself nicely
happy and satisfied with life.
"And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
SJ
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Janet Miles
[...]
> "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
> naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
> drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
> to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
Oh. My. Gods.
Only you, SJ; only you (for which we are *all* duly grateful!).
That was hysterically funny; marvelously well-told; and caused me to giggle
maniacally throughout (except for one sentence, which made me twitch and say
"eep!").
JanetM
P.S. to my Dad: I think SJ is perhaps the only person I know of who can tell
stories that top some of yours. Unless, of course, you want to engage in a
duel of wits? <grin, very evil grin>
--
Posted by Janet Miles (jmi...@usit.net) <http://www.public.usit.net/jmiles>
Loyal Webcrafter: PenUltimate Productions <http://www.worthlink.net/~ysabet>
and SSBB DC <http://magenta.com/lmnop/users/xlator/ssbbcorps.html>
Member: SSBB Diplomatic Corps -- East Tennessee
Benjamin A. Okopnik
>Sailor Jim carries his drink over to the story corner and settles in
>the leather comfy chair. Carefully setting his drink on one of the
>many salt licks scattered about; he uses a second as an ottoman and
>puts his boot-clad feet up.
<Snip of the damndest story ever heard outside of a "Top This One"
convention... and damn if I don't believe it!>
>"And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
>naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
>drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
>to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
>
>SJ
Ben, flabbergasted, falls backwards into a conveniently-placed
seat.
"SailorJim - I gotta tell ya: I've been through some serious shit, high
and low, here, there, and everywhere, until people talking to me tend to
ask, more often than not, ``_How_ old did you say you were?'' I've never
come even close to anything like what you're talking about... and I hope
to hell I never do!"
"And I'll be very careful if I ever end up in Topeka, too..."
Ben "No Sir! Don't need to piss on no electric fence!" Okopnik
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.geocities.com/ben-fuzzybear -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect
wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to
long for the endless immensity of the sea.-- Antoine de Saint Exupery
Rivka
Janet Miles wrote in message <3Xj_3.370$h4.6...@news1.usit.net>...
>> chased naked through the snow by an armed wife.
Rivka stares for a while, glassy eyed, and then says weakly, "Jim,
that was... well. Um. Oh, my. That was... thank you."
>
>That was hysterically funny; marvelously well-told; and caused
>me to giggle maniacally throughout (except for one sentence,
>which made me twitch and say "eep!").
Rivka turns her stunned gaze to Janet. "Janet, only *one* sentence in
that whole post made you say 'eep?' Inquiring minds want to know...
which *one*?"
>P.S. to my Dad: I think SJ is perhaps the only person I know of
>who can tell stories that top some of yours. Unless, of course,
>you want to engage in a duel of wits? <grin, very evil grin>
"Yes? Please? Pleeeeeaaaassssse?"
--
Rivka is ri...@iowacity.net and a fifth-year graduate student in
clinical psych.
"There is nothing to bring people together like a common grievance
accompanied by refreshments. " - Miss Manners
Dr.Rob
Sailor Jim Johnston wrote:
> Sailor Jim carries his drink over to the story corner and settles in
> the leather comfy chair. Carefully setting his drink on one of the
> many salt licks scattered about; he uses a second as an ottoman and
> puts his boot-clad feet up.
>
> "Ahhhhhh .." he slowly slides into the proper story telling position, a
> half-asleep slump, and reclaims his drink.
<snip> <ouch>
Please forgive me for ever dreaming up Popeye.
That beats anything I ever fever dreamed!
BOYC?
--
(signed) Dr.Rob
<<<<<>>>>>>
Dr.Rob is <rham...@wfubmc.edu>
http://www.wfubmc.edu/physpharm/faculty/reh/hampson.htm
This message was posted from home, please ignore the "csi.com" address.
kath
a hard-on in the way
over the streets we go
screaming all the way...
--Kath
(sorry, couldn't resist...)
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
The Trinker
Liquor wrote:
>
> The moving finger attributed to Sailor Jim Johnston did write:
> )<One heck of a yarn ending up with>
> )
> ) "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
> ) naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
> ) drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
> ) to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
> )
> ) SJ
> )
>
> Liquor is ROFLing at the images involved - but has sympathy for SJ's
> reaction to the unexpected, and also regrets (with a sincere shudder)
> for what happened to Sargent Cooper.
>
> "Too bad that was so long ago SJ! I probably know a few people now who
> wouldn't mind that sort of date."
*Consensual* is the key word we're missing there...
The Trinker
--
spam filtered. To send e-mail remove the spamtrap.
Carol Bennett
>
> Sailor Jim carries his drink over to the story corner and settles in
> the leather comfy chair. Carefully setting his drink on one of the
> many salt licks scattered about; he uses a second as an ottoman and
> puts his boot-clad feet up.
>
> "Ahhhhhh .." he slowly slides into the proper story telling position, a
> half-asleep slump, and reclaims his drink. "This story should be
> entitled 'The Blond Leading the Blind.' It is pretty much true, with
> only the occasional embellishment to make me sound a little smarter
> than I actually was.
"Oooo, story time with Sailor Jim!!" Carol races over and
sits cross-legged on the floor close to the master
storyteller.
<snip>
>
> "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
> naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
> drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
> to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
At this time Carol is too busy laughing and wiping tears
from her eyes to pay for Jim's drink, but she has every
intention of doing so some day once she has regained her
composure.
Carol
Janet Miles
> Rivka turns her stunned gaze to Janet. "Janet, only *one* sentence in
> that whole post made you say 'eep?' Inquiring minds want to know...
> which *one*?"
30 lines of spoiler space, for those who haven't yet read Sailor Jim's post.
No additional commentary after the spoilered material, just my .sig.
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The description of injuries sustained by the woman involved. Everything
else, I *knew* it would turn out okay, because SJ was here to tell the
story.
JanetM
ann...@mindspring.com
I thank the DOYC for saving your * in that experience. My guess is
that you have not one, but a whole squad of guardian angels looking
out for you.
You simply have some of the most amazing stories, and such a wonderful
sense of humor about even the most life-threatening situations.
I thank you very much for sharing that story, and happily offer to
keep your glass/mug filled for the evening. (handing Mike a stack of
SuzyBs)
Kate
Sailor Jim Johnston <sailo...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
> naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
> drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll
have
> to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
Kate stops laughing long enough to hand Callahan her wallet. "Mike,
take a dollar and buy Sailor Jim one drink for every word in that
story. A Monday was just made a lot brighter by those words, Jim. Thank
you."
--
It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-
glass window.
Stormy Weather Books:
http://www.angelfire.com/tn/smartblonde/bibliophile.html
pel...@centre.edu
Izunya, at a somewhere lower altitude than she had occupied minutes
before, makes frantic hand-motions to Mike that he, quite astutely,
interprets as Izunya's private sign language for, "Mike, line up the
drinks for Sailor Jim, please. I'll pay for as many of them as he can
soak up, when I stop laughing long enough to stand up. Or, for that
matter, breathe."
Izunya
(scaring the folks in the computer lab)
jhe...@my-deja.com
> the leather comfy chair. Carefully setting his drink on one of the
> many salt licks scattered about; he uses a second as an ottoman and
> puts his boot-clad feet up.
OY!!!!
********sigh of relief, followed by massive applause********
--
Jim
"Never get into an arse-kicking contest with a porcupine."
Cohen the Barbarian
Neil Davidoff
>Sailor Jim carries his drink over to the story corner and settles in
>the leather comfy chair. Carefully setting his drink on one of the
>many salt licks scattered about; he uses a second as an ottoman and
>puts his boot-clad feet up.
>
>"Ahhhhhh .." he slowly slides into the proper story telling position, a
>half-asleep slump, and reclaims his drink. "This story should be
>entitled 'The Blond Leading the Blind.'
<Snip of one of the best stories heard around here since, well,
since Sailor Jim's last story.
"A whale of a tale and it's all true...">
>"And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
>naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
>drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
>to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
Luria, flabbergasted, places a pile of singles on the bar for SJ's
drinks for the coming week.
"This is probably why we don't see many tall tales written
around here (XthreadX). They can't compete with reality."
Luria
(Remove <ical> to E-Mail)
____________________
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch
of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
- Calvin
Sailor Jim Johnston
ann...@mindspring.com wrote:
> Wow!
> I thank the DOYC for saving your * in that experience. My guess is
> that you have not one, but a whole squad of guardian angels looking
> out for you.
>
> You simply have some of the most amazing stories, and such a wonderful
> sense of humor about even the most life-threatening situations.
Sailor Jim has the grace to look slightly abashed. "Well ... Truth to
tell, my recollection of events tend to find the humor and wit,
retroactively. At the time, I seem to recall that the primary reason I
was able to stay infront of her was the fact that I was running just on
snow, while she had more slippery traction behind me.
"But thanks all the same, come join me at the bar."
Kevin Ahearn
>a hard-on in the way
>over the streets we go
>screaming all the way...
>--Kath
>(sorry, couldn't resist...)
>
>
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm not sure which was better...the story or the followup.
Aw, hell...Mike, get both SJ and Kath a BOC.
--Kevin
P&E
"At the end of every hard-earned day, people find some reason to believe."
--Bruce Springsteen
Remove shooting star to reply.
Attn spammers: I will never, under any circumstances, purchase any good or
service advertised in an unsolicited e-mail.
Bill Gawne
>the leather comfy chair.
The Marine at the end of the bar wanders over, listens, and alternates
between suppressed laughter and outright disbelief.
"Y'know Jim..." Bill finally says, after the story comes to an end.
"This is not the first time I've concluded that I made the saner
choice by joining the Marine Corps."
"Now, after all that incredible tale, I only have one question...
What the heck does the Coast Guard DO in Topeka? On duty that is.
You've made it clear what you guys do on liberty."
--
Bill Gawne, in Callahan's as in real life. <ga...@pha.jhu.edu>
Astronomer at Large - Retired Master Sergeant USMCR - Nothing I
post represents an official position of any organization.
On the web: http://www.pha.jhu.edu/~gawne
Liquor
)<One heck of a yarn ending up with>
)
) "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
) naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
) drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
) to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
)
) SJ
)
Liquor is ROFLing at the images involved - but has sympathy for SJ's
reaction to the unexpected, and also regrets (with a sincere shudder)
for what happened to Sargent Cooper.
"Too bad that was so long ago SJ! I probably know a few people now who
wouldn't mind that sort of date."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Liquor If you have friends that do it, it's either normal or kinky.
If none of them do it, it's either peverted or boring.
(I'd attribute the quote, but damifino who said it.)
Freyja
wondering about me.
--
Freyja the NurseWench
(de-spam e-mail)
http://pagina.de/eclecticeel
ICQ:9582706 AIM:FreyjaNurseWench
Leslie
="SailorJim - I gotta tell ya: I've been through some serious shit, high
=and low, here, there, and everywhere, until people talking to me tend to
=ask, more often than not, ``_How_ old did you say you were?'' I've never
=come even close to anything like what you're talking about... and I hope
=to hell I never do!"
"Ya wanna hear something *really* scary?" Leslie confides to Ben. "That
was one of the stories he can tell _in public_. He has these
*others*...." Leslie's voice trails off, leaving the rest to the
listeners' imagination.
Leslie. No, you really *can't* imagine. _*Trust* *me*_.
--
* Spider Robinson info & alt.callahans FAQs: <http://www.vex.net/~leslie> *
*** "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." -- J. Buffett ***
*** New to Usenet and the net? Subscribe to news.announce.newusers. ***
**** If you love any of your rights, defend all of them. ****
Kirsten M. Berry
Liquor looked up from the want-ads, turned to me and said:
}------------------------------------------------------------------
}Liquor If you have friends that do it, it's either normal or kinky.
} If none of them do it, it's either peverted or boring.
} (I'd attribute the quote, but damifino who said it.)
Sounds like a variant on my own .sig below.... (The T-shirt in
question was being sold by Threshhold, a Los Angeles-based club.)
--
Kirsten M. Berry, Samurai Webmistress ksha...@mindspring.com
http://www.mindspring.com/~kshandra/
"If you do it and I do it, that's normal. If you do it and I don't
do it, that's kinky. If neither of us does it, that's perverted."
-seen on T-shirt at Folsom Street Fair
The Polymath (Jerry Hollombe)
<383d3428...@news.mindspring.com>...
I am a sexual adventurer/explorer.
YOU are kinky.
THEY are filthy perverts.
"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole duck."
The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, M.A., CCP, CFI)
http://www.babcom.com/polymath/
http://www.babcom.com/gla-mensa/
Query pgpkeys.mit.edu for PGP public key.
Carol Bennett
>
> Dashing thru the snow
> a hard-on in the way
> over the streets we go
> screaming all the way...
> --Kath
> (sorry, couldn't resist...)
"You could have if you *tried*!" Carol manages to say during
another fit of giggles. :)
Carol
Janet D. Miles
On Tue, 23 Nov 1999 00:42:33 -0800, in alt.callahans The Polymath
(Jerry Hollombe) wrote:
> I am a sexual adventurer/explorer.
> YOU are kinky.
> THEY are filthy perverts.
>
> "Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole duck."
"And sick is duck soup for dinner guests tomorrow." (paraphrased from
Spectrum)
JanetM
--
Posted by Janet Miles <jmi...@usit.net> <http://www.public.usit.net/jmiles>
"This is Callahan's Place, and it's Callahan's Place because of everyone
who comes in and ensures it stays that way." -- Robert Farquhar, July 15, 1998
Sailor Jim Johnston
ga...@eta.pha.jhu.edu (Bill Gawne) wrote:
> >Sailor Jim carries his drink over to the story corner and settles in
> >the leather comfy chair.
>
> between suppressed laughter and outright disbelief.
>
> "Y'know Jim..." Bill finally says, after the story comes to an end.
> "This is not the first time I've concluded that I made the saner
> choice by joining the Marine Corps."
Sailor Jim grins and shakes his head. "Naw, I've known some Gyrenes,
Bill ... sailors might be strange, but you guys are down right manic!"
>
> "Now, after all that incredible tale, I only have one question...
> What the heck does the Coast Guard DO in Topeka? On duty that is.
> You've made it clear what you guys do on liberty."
>
"Funny you should ask. As you might assume, the CG has hardly any
inland units .. heck, even our HQ is only some twenty feet away from
the water .. however, it was decided to move this one unit to as close
to the exact center of the country as possible. (Many of us felt it
was a security matter, wanting to protect the unit and those who manned
it.)
"Now what kind of unit would be equally inaccessible to all commands?
Equally removed from all units? That's right:
"We were the PPC; the Pay and Personnel Center for the Coast Guard!
Safely landlocked hundred of miles from the closest unit, we screwed up
pay and allowances with gay abandon, secure in the knowledge that even
the largest guns on our biggest ships couldn't possibly lob a shell
into our offices!"
Sailor Jim Johnston
The Trinker <k...@vincent-tanaka.spamtrap.com> wrote:
>
>
> Liquor wrote:
> > Liquor is ROFLing at the images involved - but has sympathy for SJ's
> > reaction to the unexpected, and also regrets (with a sincere
> > shudder)for what happened to Sargent Cooper.
> >
> > "Too bad that was so long ago SJ! I probably know a few people now
> > who wouldn't mind that sort of date."
>
> *Consensual* is the key word we're missing there...
>
"Amen, Trink!" Sailor Jim echoes, heartfelt. "When the police took me
back to my apartment and collected her clothes/toys, the officer doing
the clean-up regarded the two handcuffs hanging from my wrists, which
he was removing, and the two remaining on the metal bar at the head of
my bed and asked what the other two cuffs were for?
"I followed his glance to the two still on the bed and got a sudden
case of the shakes so bad that he couldn't fit the handcuff key in the
little keyhole to unlock me. It passed in a moment and I replied, as
evenly as I could, 'I don't know .. we didn't get that far.'
"Then I took a really hot shower, got dressed in my warmest sweats and
went with him to the hospital.
"(Needless to say, I suspect that I am one of the few men in the world
who can say - without the slightest fear of being the least bit
patronizing - that I can empathize with how the majority of women view
the world.)"
Martin Julian DeMello
> I am a sexual adventurer/explorer.
> YOU are kinky.
> THEY are filthy perverts.
> "Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole duck."
Filthily peverted is having roast duck for lunch the next day
--
Martin DeMello/zem
Alison Furlong
> I am a sexual adventurer/explorer.
> YOU are kinky.
> THEY are filthy perverts.
> "Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole duck."
Twisted is using boneless skinless chicken duck breasts.
-Alison
Sailor Jim Johnston
"Really twisted is using *fried* boneless skinless chicken breasts ...
with lettuce and tomatto ... in a nicely grilled bun ... with a little
light mayo ... in the middle of McDonalds ... from someone else's tray."
Liquor
The Trinker <k...@vincent-tanaka.spamtrap.com> wrote:
>
>
> Liquor wrote:
> >
> > )<One heck of a yarn ending up with>
> > )
> > ) "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be
chased
> > ) naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining
his
> > ) drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair,
"you'll have
> > ) to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
> > )
> > ) SJ
> > )
> >
> > reaction to the unexpected, and also regrets (with a sincere
shudder)
> > for what happened to Sargent Cooper.
> >
> > "Too bad that was so long ago SJ! I probably know a few people now
who
> > wouldn't mind that sort of date."
>
> *Consensual* is the key word we're missing there...
>
"Amen. And the story does indeed make it seem like it's missing.
"SJ did, implicitely at least, agree to the handcuffs....
I will quibble a little, though, in that the great escape and run
precluded the (small) possibility of further negotiations - and
that someone might have assumed that anyone that let them get that
far would _know_ why there were 4 sets of cuffs.
"Hmmm. Another example of the 3 most important things in this
sort of relationship - Communicate, communicate, and communicate."
Liquor reflects that while he knows quite a few people who might like
that sort of scene - none would deserve it forced on them.
------------------------------------------------
Liquor Sufficiently advanced technology
can be passed off as magic.
Genise Ghee
Sailor Jim Johnston <sailo...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:81cgrr$mq9$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
| Sailor Jim carries his drink over to the story corner and settles in
| many salt licks scattered about; he uses a second as an ottoman and
| puts his boot-clad feet up.
|
| "Ahhhhhh .." he slowly slides into the proper story telling position, a
| half-asleep slump, and reclaims his drink. "This story should be
| only the occasional embellishment to make me sound a little smarter
| than I actually was.
<snipped and saved (I had to>
| "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
| naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
| drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
| to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
Genise, trying to keep a straight face for at least a moment, turns
to Sailor Jim...
"Thank you, sir!" I had a miserable night at work, and now I can
get to sleep, as soon as I get back up off the floor!"
Genise places several dollars on the bar for Jim's drinks for
making her Monday bearable.
gog
relieved that SJ survived to tell the tale...
Benjamin A. Okopnik
>"Amen, Trink!" Sailor Jim echoes, heartfelt. "When the police took me
>back to my apartment and collected her clothes/toys, the officer doing
>the clean-up regarded the two handcuffs hanging from my wrists, which
>he was removing, and the two remaining on the metal bar at the head of
>my bed and asked what the other two cuffs were for?
Y'know... I caught that right away when you told the original story...
and went "eeep", quietly.
REAL glad that it turned out OK, SJ.
Ben
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.geocities.com/ben-fuzzybear -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect
wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to
long for the endless immensity of the sea.-- Antoine de Saint Exupery
Matthew T. Russotto
Extremely twisted is putting it back afterwards.
Totally perverted is when your neighbor at McDonalds is extremely
twisted, and you finish your meal anyway.
--
Matthew T. Russotto russ...@pond.com
"Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice, and moderation in pursuit
of justice is no virtue."
The Polymath (Jerry Hollombe)
|"Funny you should ask. As you might assume, the CG has hardly any
|inland units .. .
|"Now what kind of unit would be equally inaccessible to all commands?
|Equally removed from all units? That's right:
|
|"We were the PPC; the Pay and Personnel Center for the Coast Guard!
|Safely landlocked hundred of miles from the closest unit, we screwed up
|pay and allowances with gay abandon, secure in the knowledge that even
|the largest guns on our biggest ships couldn't possibly lob a shell
|into our offices!"
I take it this was before the advent of the cruise missile? (-: (Or
does the Coast Guard not get to play with those?)
The Bouncing Beatnik
kath <kath...@my-deja.com> wrote in article
<11f733ec...@usw-ex0101-007.remarq.com>...
> Dashing thru the snow
> a hard-on in the way
> over the streets we go
> screaming all the way...
> --Kath
> (sorry, couldn't resist...)
>
>
Balls in small cuffs wave,
Chilling in the night,
When SailorJim goes S&M
The tale is pure delight, oh...
Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way...
(I couldn't either...)
The Bouncing Beatnik,
not proud of himself...
--
The Beatnik is in residence at:
mwhutch <at> hit.net
kath
kevah...@aol.comet.com (Kevin Ahearn) wrote:
> >Dashing thru the snow
> >a hard-on in the way
> >over the streets we go
> >screaming all the way...
> >--Kath
> >(sorry, couldn't resist...)
> >
> >
> I'm not sure which was better...the story or the followup.
> Aw, hell...Mike, get both SJ and Kath a BOC.
> --Kevin
> P&E
head.... and it's high praise to be included in such illustrious
company as SJ....
But, I'll have a mint ice tea, if you don't mind...
--Kath
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
kath
<lkpa...@cannedmeat.home.com> wrote:
> I owe you and SJ each a BOYC. I'm laughing so hard that Chris is
> wondering about me.
Thanks...it just had to be let out for others to enjoy... and the fact
that 'that came out of my brain is encouraging in itself (well, maybe
not,,,,)
kath
<carolb...@home.com> wrote:
> kath wrote:
> >
> > Dashing thru the snow
> > a hard-on in the way
> > over the streets we go
> > screaming all the way...
> > --Kath
> > (sorry, couldn't resist...)
> another fit of giggles. :)
> Carol
exploded..
and that wouldn't be too pretty now, would it?
Don Callahan
Sailor Jim Johnston wrote:
> "Ahhhhhh .." he slowly slides into the proper story telling position, a
> half-asleep slump, and reclaims his drink. "This story should be
> entitled 'The Blond Leading the Blind.' It is pretty much true, with
> only the occasional embellishment to make me sound a little smarter
> than I actually was.
> <snip of a G*d-awful and G*d-awfully funny misadventure>
>
> "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
> naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
> drink and heaving his large frame free of the comfy chair, "you'll have
> to excuse me ... I have a date for a drink at the bar."
>
Sailor Jim, may I buy you another BOYC? And bless you for your
storytelling ability. The bad hair day made my beautician friend laugh til
she cried. I can't wait to see the fireworks erupt after this one!
karen
(Ooooh, baby, it's a wild world!)
kath
<mwREMOV...@hit.net> wrote:
> kath <kath...@my-deja.com> wrote in article
> <11f733ec...@usw-ex0101-007.remarq.com>...
> > a hard-on in the way
> > over the streets we go
> > screaming all the way...
> > --Kath
> > (sorry, couldn't resist...)
> >
> >
> Chilling in the night,
> When SailorJim goes S&M
> The tale is pure delight, oh...
> Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way...
> (I couldn't either...)
did like the rest, though!!!
BYOC?
> The Bouncing Beatnik,
> not proud of himself...
Duane E. Peters
> "Now, after all that incredible tale, I only have one question...
> What the heck does the Coast Guard DO in Topeka? On duty that is.
> You've made it clear what you guys do on liberty."
Master Charles, sitting in the corner shaking his head, looks up at this
and says simply, "Payroll office".
Master Charles Henri Beaufort
Keeper of the Crossed Keys Inn
(Who was living in Topeka at the aforementioned time, and knew there was
some kind of shakeup in the Police Force around there...but never could
find out *what*!)
The Trinker
"Lee S. Billings" wrote:
>
> In article <81fmve$14u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, sailo...@my-deja.com
> says...
> >
> >In article <01bf360c$2582cda0$e4a0fcce@mwhutch>,
> > "The Bouncing Beatnik" <mwhREMO...@hit.net> wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >> kath <kath...@my-deja.com> wrote in article
> >> <11f733ec...@usw-ex0101-007.remarq.com>...
> >> > Dashing thru the snow
> >> > a hard-on in the way
> >> > over the streets we go
> >> > screaming all the way...
> >> > --Kath
> >> > (sorry, couldn't resist...)
> >> >
> >> >
> >>
> >> Balls in small cuffs wave,
> >> Chilling in the night,
> >> When SailorJim goes S&M
> >> The tale is pure delight, oh...
> >>
> >> Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way...
> >>
> >> (I couldn't either...)
> >>
> >> The Bouncing Beatnik,
> >> not proud of himself...
>
> Oh yes you are. <g>
>
> >Sailor Jim snatches up the seltzer bottle from the bar and advances on
> >the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can resist ... "
>
> FOOD FIGHT!!! Celine launches a handy cupcake in the direction of the
> about-to-be combatants, but unfortunately her aim is a little off.
> Instead, it lands squarely on...
...The Trinker's face, icing first. "Eugh. Buttercream. Anyone
want it?" She tosses it rather casually, where it lands on...
--
spam filtered. To send e-mail remove the spamtrap.
John Vinson
wrote:
>
>
>The Trinker wrote:
>
>> "Lee S. Billings" wrote:
>> >
>> > In article <81fmve$14u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, sailo...@my-deja.com
>> > says...
>> > > >Sailor Jim snatches up the seltzer bottle from the bar and advances on
>>
>> > >the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can resist ... "
>> >
>> > FOOD FIGHT!!! Celine launches a handy cupcake in the direction of the
>> > about-to-be combatants, but unfortunately her aim is a little off.
>> > Instead, it lands squarely on...
>>
>> ...The Trinker's face, icing first. "Eugh. Buttercream. Anyone
>> want it?" She tosses it rather casually, where it lands on...
>
>Dr.Rob, unable to dodge flying food while lying in a hospital bed.
>
>"Good thing S2LA isn't here, he's a real devil in a food fight!"
>
>"Hey, it landed in my yogurt! I don't want this!" and he lobs the
>buttercream iced cupcake dripping plain yogurt at...
John the Wysard, who deftly catches it on his slice of buttered
caraway seed rye bread (some of the yogurt and icing splashing onto
his shirt); he flings the strange concoction toward...
Sailor Jim Johnston
>
> |"Funny you should ask. As you might assume, the CG has hardly any
> |inland units .. .
>
> |"Now what kind of unit would be equally inaccessible to all commands?
> |Equally removed from all units? That's right:
> |
> |"We were the PPC; the Pay and Personnel Center for the Coast Guard!
> |Safely landlocked hundred of miles from the closest unit, we screwed up
> |pay and allowances with gay abandon, secure in the knowledge that even
> |the largest guns on our biggest ships couldn't possibly lob a shell
> |into our offices!"
>
> I take it this was before the advent of the cruise missile? (-: (Or
> does the Coast Guard not get to play with those?)
Sailor Jim lifts a droll eyebrow and replies, "We leave all of the
various kinds of cruising to the Navy."
SJ
("And arn't those Cracker Jacks just to die for?!")
Sailor Jim Johnston
"The Bouncing Beatnik" <mwhREMO...@hit.net> wrote:
>
>
> kath <kath...@my-deja.com> wrote in article
> <11f733ec...@usw-ex0101-007.remarq.com>...
> > Dashing thru the snow
> > a hard-on in the way
> > over the streets we go
> > screaming all the way...
> > --Kath
> > (sorry, couldn't resist...)
> >
> >
>
> Balls in small cuffs wave,
> Chilling in the night,
> When SailorJim goes S&M
> The tale is pure delight, oh...
>
> Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way...
>
> (I couldn't either...)
>
> The Bouncing Beatnik,
> not proud of himself...
>
the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can resist ... "
SJ
kath
Why, thanks, SJ, all this singing is making my throat dry... :-) (I'm
sorry....but the story was hysterical, and it came out in song, and I really,
really didn't mean to make fun of your, umm, pre-dick-ament, so to speak..)
--Kath (I think I've just dug myself a deeper hole.... oh, c'est la vie...)
ps..sorry if this double posts --deja had a cow, I think... -- "Never do
today what you can put off 'till tomorrow if tomorrow might improve the
odds." - Robert A. Heinlein
Ben Addleman
Sailor Jim Johnston <sailo...@my-deja.com> wrote in article
<81cgrr$mq9$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
> Sailor Jim carries his drink over to the story corner and settles in
<snip the story>
> "And that, for all who recently inquired, is how I came to be chased
> naked through the snow by an armed wife. Now," he adds, draining his
<very casually> Yeah, I figured your story was probably something like
that. Buy you a drink?
Ben Addleman
ps- BWAAAAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA! Oh, oh my gawds. Oh, my.
HEHEHEHEHEEEEHHHEHHEEE!
Freyja
Sailor Jim Johnston <sailo...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:81el4a$86u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
| "Really twisted is using *fried* boneless skinless chicken breasts
...
| with lettuce and tomatto ... in a nicely grilled bun ... with a
little
| light mayo ... in the middle of McDonalds ... from someone else's
tray."
You did that??? <BEG>
--
Freyja the NurseWench
(de-spam e-mail)
http://pagina.de/eclecticeel
ICQ:9582706 AIM:FreyjaNurseWench
Freyja
The Polymath (Jerry Hollombe) <poly...@pacbell.net> wrote in
message news:nxs_3.2325$uf6....@typhoon01.swbell.net...
|
| I am a sexual adventurer/explorer.
| YOU are kinky.
| THEY are filthy perverts.
|
| "Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole duck."
Erotic is wearing a French tickler.
Psychotic is wearing French toast.
--
Freyja the NurseWench
(de-spam e-mail)
http://pagina.de/eclecticeel
ICQ:9582706 AIM:FreyjaNurseWench
(We had French toast at the RS Sunday...)
Lee S. Billings
> "The Bouncing Beatnik" <mwhREMO...@hit.net> wrote:
>>
>>
>> kath <kath...@my-deja.com> wrote in article
>> <11f733ec...@usw-ex0101-007.remarq.com>...
>> > Dashing thru the snow
>> > a hard-on in the way
>> > over the streets we go
>> > screaming all the way...
>> > --Kath
>> > (sorry, couldn't resist...)
>> >
>> >
>>
>> Balls in small cuffs wave,
>> Chilling in the night,
>> When SailorJim goes S&M
>> The tale is pure delight, oh...
>>
>> Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way...
>>
>> (I couldn't either...)
>>
>> The Bouncing Beatnik,
>> not proud of himself...
Oh yes you are. <g>
>Sailor Jim snatches up the seltzer bottle from the bar and advances on
>the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can resist ... "
FOOD FIGHT!!! Celine launches a handy cupcake in the direction of the
about-to-be combatants, but unfortunately her aim is a little off.
Instead, it lands squarely on...
--
"Art comes from the heart, but the heart is instructed by the culture."
-- Janet Kagan, _HellSpark_
Dr.Rob
The Trinker wrote:
> "Lee S. Billings" wrote:
> >
> > In article <81fmve$14u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, sailo...@my-deja.com
> > says...
> > > >Sailor Jim snatches up the seltzer bottle from the bar and advances on
>
> > >the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can resist ... "
> >
> > FOOD FIGHT!!! Celine launches a handy cupcake in the direction of the
> > about-to-be combatants, but unfortunately her aim is a little off.
> > Instead, it lands squarely on...
>
> ...The Trinker's face, icing first. "Eugh. Buttercream. Anyone
> want it?" She tosses it rather casually, where it lands on...
Dr.Rob, unable to dodge flying food while lying in a hospital bed.
"Good thing S2LA isn't here, he's a real devil in a food fight!"
"Hey, it landed in my yogurt! I don't want this!" and he lobs the
buttercream iced cupcake dripping plain yogurt at...
--
(signed) Dr.Rob
<<<<<>>>>>>
Dr.Rob is <rham...@wfubmc.edu>
http://www.wfubmc.edu/physpharm/faculty/reh/hampson.htm
This message was posted from home, please ignore the "csi.com" address.
fyrnae
writes
>> >
>> > FOOD FIGHT!!! Celine launches a handy cupcake in the direction of the
>> > about-to-be combatants, but unfortunately her aim is a little off.
>> > Instead, it lands squarely on...
>>
>> ...The Trinker's face, icing first. "Eugh. Buttercream. Anyone
>> want it?" She tosses it rather casually, where it lands on...
>
>Dr.Rob, unable to dodge flying food while lying in a hospital bed.
>
>"Good thing S2LA isn't here, he's a real devil in a food fight!"
>
>"Hey, it landed in my yogurt! I don't want this!" and he lobs the
>buttercream iced cupcake dripping plain yogurt at...
Marian, Fyrnae's guitar, who can't dodge either, being
inanimate. Heading straight for the tone-hole, the cupcake is neatly
parted into several slices by the sharp steel strings. The small green-
cloaked woman winces as she loosens Marian's strings so that she can
pull out each slice -- seven told in all -- which she then launches one
by one, Frisbee-style, at....
Branwen Elen Fyrnae 'Fern' Tootell
'It's not easy being green' -- Kermit
--> Same God, Different Name, No Problem! <--
Liquor
) (posted & emailed)
)
) Liquor looked up from the want-ads, turned to me and said:
)
) }------------------------------------------------------------------
) }Liquor If you have friends that do it, it's either normal or kinky.
) } If none of them do it, it's either peverted or boring.
) } (I'd attribute the quote, but damifino who said it.)
)
) Sounds like a variant on my own .sig below.... (The T-shirt in
) question was being sold by Threshhold, a Los Angeles-based club.)
) --
) Kirsten M. Berry, Samurai Webmistress ksha...@mindspring.com
) http://www.mindspring.com/~kshandra/
) "If you do it and I do it, that's normal. If you do it and I don't
) do it, that's kinky. If neither of us does it, that's perverted."
) -seen on T-shirt at Folsom Street Fair
I remember your .sig now, but I guess someone at one of the NorthBound
Leather parties might either have seen it, or something like it
elsewhere. I heard this variant at the one NBL party I've been to in
the last year, and I can't remember seeing or hearing anyone else with
the "If none of them do it, it's ... boring." variation.
BOYC?
----------------------------------------------------------
Liquor And I didn't even get to stay for the show.
Sailor Jim Johnston
"Freyja" <lkpa...@cannedmeat.home.com> wrote:
>
> Sailor Jim Johnston <sailo...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
> news:81el4a$86u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
>
> | "Really twisted is using *fried* boneless skinless chicken breasts
> ...
> | with lettuce and tomatto ... in a nicely grilled bun ... with a
> little
> | light mayo ... in the middle of McDonalds ... from someone else's
> tray."
>
> You did that??? <BEG>
>
"I'm sorry, Freyja ... but I'm not allowed to discuss anything I was
involved in during Desert Storm. All I can say, by law, is that it was
called 'Operation Pickle,' and that Sadam really did not deserve a
break that day."
SJ
("On the other hand, I can say that if you run out and buy the next Tom
Clancy novel, 'The Big Green Surprise,' you might want to look
carefully at the character, 'Taylor "Whopper" Jims'," he mutters,
modestly buffing his nails on the front of his leather vest.")
Froog T. SqueezyCheese
> On Wed, 24 Nov 1999 00:27:25 -0500, "Dr.Rob" <robert...@csi.com>
> wrote:
>
> >The Trinker wrote:
> >
> >> "Lee S. Billings" wrote:
> >> >
> >> > In article <81fmve$14u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, sailo...@my-deja.com
> >> > says...
> >> > > >Sailor Jim snatches up the seltzer bottle from the bar and advances on
> >>
> >> > >the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can resist ... "
> >> >
> >> > FOOD FIGHT!!! Celine launches a handy cupcake in the direction of the
> >> > about-to-be combatants, but unfortunately her aim is a little off.
> >> > Instead, it lands squarely on...
> >>
> >> ...The Trinker's face, icing first. "Eugh. Buttercream. Anyone
> >> want it?" She tosses it rather casually, where it lands on...
> >
> >Dr.Rob, unable to dodge flying food while lying in a hospital bed.
> >
> >"Good thing S2LA isn't here, he's a real devil in a food fight!"
> >
> >"Hey, it landed in my yogurt! I don't want this!" and he lobs the
> >buttercream iced cupcake dripping plain yogurt at...
>
> John the Wysard, who deftly catches it on his slice of buttered
> caraway seed rye bread (some of the yogurt and icing splashing onto
> his shirt); he flings the strange concoction toward...
Froog T. SqueezyCheese, who really hadn't expected to be invoved in a food fight
so early in her time here. But she takes it with good grace, flapping up towards
the ceiling as the cupcake continues directly towards...
--
Froog T. SqueezyCheese
(really enjoying this)
kath
and yogurt??" says Kath, who flings what she can wipe off her face
directly at....
--Kath (how did this (duck!!) happen?)
Jesse Linch
<sailo...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>"Amen, Trink!" Sailor Jim echoes, heartfelt. "When the police took me
>back to my apartment and collected her clothes/toys, the officer doing
>the clean-up regarded the two handcuffs hanging from my wrists, which
>he was removing, and the two remaining on the metal bar at the head of
>my bed and asked what the other two cuffs were for?
Umm, I think I missed the original post here. <rummage>
Oh my word.
hehehehehehee
ROTFL.
SJ, I am glad you made it though that experience. I am just as glad
that nothing like that has ever happened to me. Whew. Life is stranger
than fiction.
<Tosses a dollar bill on the growing pile before SJ, so he shan't go
thirsty for a looong while>
--
Jesse Linch <jli...@one.net> (Despammed address)
"May you live in interesting times,"
-Ancient Chinese proverb or curse, you decide.
Genise Ghee
The Bouncing Beatnik <mwREMOV...@hit.net> wrote in message
news:01bf360c$2582cda0$e4a0fcce@mwhutch...
|
|
| kath <kath...@my-deja.com> wrote in article
| <11f733ec...@usw-ex0101-007.remarq.com>...
| > Dashing thru the snow
| > a hard-on in the way
| > over the streets we go
| > screaming all the way...
| > --Kath
| > (sorry, couldn't resist...)
| >
| >
|
| Balls in small cuffs wave,
| Chilling in the night,
| When SailorJim goes S&M
| The tale is pure delight, oh...
|
"Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way...
...Oh what fun, it's S&M! Come get your
whips today, Hey!
(me neither! I just *had* to finish the chorus)
gog
sylvia
news:26f15c5e...@usw-ex0101-003.remarq.com...
...feh - what a revolting welcome back.... hmm, if lobbed
carefully at the overhead fan, it could conceivably land on.....
--
PhoenixWench
Please p&e as my server eats posts
like cereal ;-)
sylvia
er, post >
Well, I'm glad you survived all the excitement.... so many times...;-)
Freyja
Sailor Jim Johnston <sailo...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:81fmve$14u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
| Sailor Jim snatches up the seltzer bottle from the bar and
advances on
| the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can resist ... "
Resistance is futile.
Freyja
sylvia <sly...@pb.net> wrote in message
news:s3ph0d...@corp.supernews.com...
| kath <kath...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
| news:26f15c5e...@usw-ex0101-003.remarq.com...
| > In article <383BEDB0...@mta.ca>, "Froog T. SqueezyCheese"
| > <was...@mta.ca> wrote:
| > > John Vinson wrote:
| > > > On Wed, 24 Nov 1999 00:27:25 -0500, "Dr.Rob"
| > > <robert...@csi.com>
| > > > wrote:
| > > >
| > > > >The Trinker wrote:
| > > > >
| > > > >> "Lee S. Billings" wrote:
| > > > >> >
| > > > >> > In article <81fmve$14u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
| > > sailo...@my-deja.com
| > > > >> > says...
bar
| > > and advances on
| > > > >>
| > > > >> > >the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can
resist
| > > ... "
| > > > >> >
... Freyja and Chris, in mid-smooch.
"Aaaugh! Right in our faces, too!"
Freyja shudders, scoops the remnants off her fiancé's face and her
own, and flings it in a random direction toward...
Claire Black
: sylvia <sly...@pb.net> wrote in message
: | ...feh - what a revolting welcome back.... hmm, if lobbed
: | carefully at the overhead fan, it could conceivably land on.....
:
: ... Freyja and Chris, in mid-smooch.
:
: "Aaaugh! Right in our faces, too!"
:
: Freyja shudders, scoops the remnants off her fiancé's face and her
: own, and flings it in a random direction toward...
...Weredonut, who (in a fit of co-ordination she would be completely
unable to reproduce in RL) bends right over backwards, and so the
detritus of cupcake misses her and continues on toward....
--
Claire Black cc...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au
#include <standard_disclaimer.h>
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
Dr.Rob
Freyja wrote:
> Sailor Jim Johnston <sailo...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
> news:81fmve$14u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
>
> | Sailor Jim snatches up the seltzer bottle from the bar and
> advances on
> | the carolers, snarling, "As long as nobody else can resist ... "
>
> Resistance is futile.
>
Aha! A quote from the Superconductor Lab!
SkyeFire
<mdem...@pound.ruf.rice.edu> writes:
>
>> "Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole duck."
>
>Filthily peverted is having roast duck for lunch the next day
<blink> Wouldn't that be "Thriftily Perverted"? I mean, it seems kinda
wasteful to use a duck for some kinky/perverted sex act and then just throwing
all of that meat away. I mean, handled properly, a good roasting should
sterilize the meat thoroughly enough, shouldn't it?
Why is everyone backing away...?
David McMillan, Efficient Pragmatist at Large.