crap

[Vincent Andrew Wright]

Just doing some thinking about a few recent posts, and I also just
finished reading _confessions of a crap artist_ by Philip K. Dick. It's
thought-provoking. In the ending, as I interpret it, the narrator
realizes that everything he believes in is crap, but he also realizes
that everything everyone else believes in is crap too. But you have to do
something in this life, and try to make sense of it somehow, so you
choose your crap wisely.

Yes, I have to say there's a lot of crap out there.

'drew

[Luong Pham]

On 7 Dec 1996, in article <58av0p$q...@infoserver.bgsu.edu>, Vincent
Andrew Wright wrote the following, among many other things:

[Snip]

>Yes, I have to say there's a lot of crap out there.

Must you venture that far to find it? ;-)

[Vincent Andrew Wright]

Absolutely not. Because just about everything is crap. It puts the world
in perspective.

Email is crap, usenet is crap, my computer is crap. Dejanews is crap,
hotmail is crap, the university I go to is crap too.

I think smileys are crap too. Just don't tell anyone.
'drew

[Joseph Crea]

Hello, Drew!

vwr...@bgnet.bgsu.edu (Vincent Andrew Wright) quoting Luong Pham
wrote:

>>>Yes, I have to say there's a lot of crap out there.
>>
>>Must you venture that far to find it? ;-)
>
>Absolutely not. Because just about everything is crap. It puts the world
>in perspective.
>
>Email is crap, usenet is crap, my computer is crap. Dejanews is crap,
>hotmail is crap, the university I go to is crap too.
>
>I think smileys are crap too. Just don't tell anyone.

So inform us. Is there anything that isn't crap? And how do you
know?

With Mettaa,

Joseph Crea
<Josep...@worldnet.att.net>

[Vincent Andrew Wright]

In a previous article, Josep...@worldnet.att.net (Joseph Crea) says:
> So inform us. Is there anything that isn't crap? And how do you
>know?

Hello Joseph,

How would anyone know? I guess the way I interpreted the book (Philip K.
Dick's _Confessions of a Crap Artist_, for those of you who haven't been
following) is that "sensible" ways of thinking are just as crazy as
"nonsensical." Some of them work some of the time, and don't work other
times. But we need to have some ways to try and make sense of the world,
so we stick with whatever makes sense to us at the time. But I am always
prepared to find out that whatever I believe in just might be a lot of
crap. It makes the world a little easier to deal with.

Here, let me quote the book:

"I had had a theory [that the world would end on April 23] which couldn't
be verified until April twenty-third, and therefore until that time it
couldn't possibly be said that I was out of my mind for believing it."

Now maybe I'm not making a lot of sense here, but in my reality this book
made a lot of sense, and I have to be happy with my reality because it's
the only one I get. And if it doesn't make sense to anyone else, then I
think I might have the most appropriate subject header for it.

So to paraphrase the Buddha: in all things, there is an element of crap.

'drew

[Diane Brodson]

Vincent Andrew Wright (vwr...@bgnet.bgsu.edu) wrote:

: Hello Joseph,

: 'drew

Bullshit!

Uh...wait a minute...there's crap in that, too...

Nevermind.

Diane

--
******************************
There are some who can live
without wild things,
and some who cannot.
Aldo Leopold

[Vincent Andrew Wright]

In a previous article, luo...@civil.ubc.ca (Luong Pham) says:

>Seriously, the "that far" was meant to remind you that, beside the "out
>there", the "in here" are full of it, too.

Are you saying that what I think is crap?

Well, yeah, I'd have to agree with you. But you know, we all need some
kind of crap to get us through, to try to make sense of the crap out
there. But good point.

"I'm so happy, you're talking crappy"
'drew

(ten points to anyone who can name that quote)

[Stavros]

Luong Pham wrote:
>
> On 7 Dec 1996 16:29:26 GMT, in article <58c616$7...@infoserver.bgsu.edu>,
> Vincent Andrew Wright got further on the topic with the following:

>
> >In a previous article, luo...@civil.ubc.ca (Luong Pham) says:
>

> >>On 7 Dec 1996, in article <58av0p$q...@infoserver.bgsu.edu>, Vincent
> >>Andrew Wright wrote the following, among many other things:
>

> >>>Yes, I have to say there's a lot of crap out there.

> ^^^^^^^^^

>
> >>Must you venture that far to find it? ;-)

> ^^^^^^^^

>
> >Absolutely not. Because just about everything is crap. It puts the world
> >in perspective.
>

> Well... aren't we all in deep dodo now!

>
> Seriously, the "that far" was meant to remind you that, beside the "out
> there", the "in here" are full of it, too.
>

> Other than that, who can, and I won't, argue against PK Dick's view about
> a crappy world. I, over the years, tend to agree with most of what he
> wrote.

>
> >Email is crap, usenet is crap, my computer is crap. Dejanews is crap,
> >hotmail is crap, the university I go to is crap too.
> >
> >I think smileys are crap too. Just don't tell anyone.
>

> Too late, Andrew! The shit has hit the fan! ;-)

Did someone mention my middle name?
--
STAVROS

"I make art about the misunderstandings that take place at the
border zone, but for me, the border is no longer at any fixed
geopolitical site. I carry the border with me, and I find new
borders, wherever I go."
-Guillermo Gomez-Pena

[Alf the Poet]

anh_...@popd.ix.netcom.com wrote:

:Luong Pham wrote:
:>
:> On 7 Dec 1996 16:29:26 GMT, in article <58c616$7...@infoserver.bgsu.edu>,
:> Vincent Andrew Wright got further on the topic with the following:
:>
:> >In a previous article, luo...@civil.ubc.ca (Luong Pham) says:
:>
:> >>On 7 Dec 1996, in article <58av0p$q...@infoserver.bgsu.edu>, Vincent
:> >>Andrew Wright wrote the following, among many other things:
:>
:> >>>Yes, I have to say there's a lot of crap out there.
:> ^^^^^^^^^
:>
:> >>Must you venture that far to find it? ;-)
:> ^^^^^^^^
:>
:> >Absolutely not. Because just about everything is crap. It puts the world
:> >in perspective.
:>
:> Well... aren't we all in deep dodo now!
:>
:> Seriously, the "that far" was meant to remind you that, beside the "out
:> there", the "in here" are full of it, too.
:>
:> Other than that, who can, and I won't, argue against PK Dick's view about
:> a crappy world. I, over the years, tend to agree with most of what he
:> wrote.
:>
:> >Email is crap, usenet is crap, my computer is crap. Dejanews is crap,
:> >hotmail is crap, the university I go to is crap too.
:> >
:> >I think smileys are crap too. Just don't tell anyone.
:>
:> Too late, Andrew! The shit has hit the fan! ;-)
:
:Did someone mention my middle name?

What, "Fan?"

Alf

--
Know the difference between serious and sincere.

[Bud]

>
> Luong Pham wrote:
> >
> > On 7 Dec 1996 16:29:26 GMT, in article <58c616$7...@infoserver.bgsu.edu>,
> > Vincent Andrew Wright got further on the topic with the following:
> >
> > >In a previous article, luo...@civil.ubc.ca (Luong Pham) says:
> >
> > >>On 7 Dec 1996, in article <58av0p$q...@infoserver.bgsu.edu>, Vincent
> > >>Andrew Wright wrote the following, among many other things:
> >
> > >>>Yes, I have to say there's a lot of crap out there.
> > ^^^^^^^^^
> >
> > >>Must you venture that far to find it? ;-)
> > ^^^^^^^^
> >
> > >Absolutely not. Because just about everything is crap. It puts the world
> > >in perspective.
> >
> > Well... aren't we all in deep dodo now!
> >
> > Seriously, the "that far" was meant to remind you that, beside the "out
> > there", the "in here" are full of it, too.
> >
> > Other than that, who can, and I won't, argue against PK Dick's view about
> > a crappy world. I, over the years, tend to agree with most of what he
> > wrote.
> >
> > >Email is crap, usenet is crap, my computer is crap. Dejanews is crap,
> > >hotmail is crap, the university I go to is crap too.
> > >
> > >I think smileys are crap too. Just don't tell anyone.
> >
> > Too late, Andrew! The shit has hit the fan! ;-)
>

While wallowing in all the usenet shit, I came upon this piece of crap:

(Credits to the author)

Bently Durant posted:

> Infamous
> The Shit List
> ^

>- Ghost Shit -
>You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but
>there's no shit in the toilet.

>- Teflon Coated Shit -
>Comes out so slick, clean, and easy that you don't even
>feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper. You have to look for
>the shit in the toilet to be sure you did it.

>- Gooey Shit -
>This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times
>and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in
>you underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid
>marks in the toilet.

>- Second Thought Shit -
>You're all done wiping you ass and you're about to
>stand up when you realize it...you've got to shit more.

>- Pop A Vein In Your Forehead Shit -
>This is the kind of shit that killed
>Elvis. It just doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty,
>trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

>- Richard Simmons Shit -
>You shit so much, you lose 10 pounds.

>- Right Now Shit -
>You better be within 30 seconds a toilet. Usually it has
>it's head out before you get your pants down.

>- Green Shit -
>Comes the day after eating a big spinach salad.

>- King Kong or Commode Choker Shit -
>This shit is so big that you know it won't
>go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat
>hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone
>else's
>house.

>- Cork Shit aka Floaters -
>Even after the third flush, it's still
>floating in there. My God! How do I get rid of it?! This shit also
>usually happens at someone else's house.

>- Wet Cheeks Shit -
>This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash
>that gets your ass all wet.

>- Wish Shit -
>You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit.

>- Cement Block Shit or Oh God! Shit -
>You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.

>- Snake Shit -
>This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb
>and at least 3 feet long.

>- Mexican Food Shit aka Screamers -
>You'll know it's alright to eat
>again when your asshole stops burning.

>- Beer Drunk Shit -
>This happens the day after the night before. Normally your
>shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD! Usually there's
>someone standing outside waiting to use the bathroom. This kind of
>shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

>- Burning Ass Shit -
>Self explanitory. Usually occurs after eating Burning
>Mouth Indian food.

>- Firecracker Shit -
>This shit comes out in little explosions. Like a string of
>firecrackers. Just when you think the last blew, wait, there's
>more shit to come. Interspersed with flagellations.

>- Volcano Shit -
>Not liquid and not solid, this shit sort of emerges from your
>ass in a continuous flow. Usually happens when you are in a hurry or
>ate Indian food the night before.

>- Nuclear Shit -
>One huge King Kong log explosion followed by a solid
>outpouring of shit in varying textures and densities. Asshole
>radiates for awhile afterwards.

>- Shy Shit -
>Combination of Wish Shit and Second Thought Shit. It's going to
>come out. No it's not. Yes it is. No it's NOT. Best bet is to force
>to become the Pop A Vein in Your Forehead Shit.

>- Sex Shit -
>Incredible urge to deficate caused by increased movement of
>internal organs due to the act of sex. This shit kind of sneaks up
>on you. Your never quite sure whether it will emerge in solid or
>gaseous state.

>- SHIT! Shit -
>This shit gives you ample warning of it's impending arrival.
>Yet, you are still unable to find ac(commode)ations. Usually on long
>airline flights with equally long latrine lines, during traffic, in
>the
>middle of a conference or meeting. If serviced early enough, it is
>Teflon shit. If late enough, Cement Block Shit.

>- Baby Shit -
>Self explanatory. Output often more attractive and seemingly
>palatable then input. Comes in a variety of colors and textures.

>- SLOW Shit -
>Much like Shy Shit except you have the feeling of continuous,
>albeit miniscule progress. Coaxing and straining does not help.
>Get a good book and relax. This shit is in no hurry.

>- AcId ShIt -
>Occurs the morning after taking two hits of acid and getting
>the munchies. You're not quite sure what it is you ate, but from
>the looks of this shit, it must have been something really gnarly.
>May come in colors, might just seem that way. Spend more time
>admiring it then delivering it.

>(rear) End.

>Remember, the politically correct term for Shit is:
>Nutritionally Challenged Output

>-/Vuarnet International/-
> 617/527.oo91
> 24oo-16.8k HST/V32bis
>...,,,...,,,~~~~~`````,,,...,,,...,,,~~~~~`````~~~~~~`````

--
Pi's a round circumstantial fruit of diametric opposition in rotation.
Yum! 0)

[Luong Pham]

On Wed, 11 Dec 96, in article <58ndfr$h...@news1.epix.net>, Alf the Poet
wrote:

>anh_...@popd.ix.netcom.com wrote:

> :Luong Pham wrote:
^^^^

[Snip, snip, snip]

> :> Too late, Andrew! The shit has hit the fan! ;-)

> :Did someone mention my middle name?

>What, "Fan?"

That should have been "Phan"! :-)