Oh NOES!

Hidden Draggin

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Dec 18, 2009, 12:01:33 PM12/18/09

to

Iran has apparently seized an oil well in Iraq
sending Kentucky Jelly futures through the
roof. This could lead to the use of unwise
substitutes such as butter, vaseline, toe jam,
ear wax, and my favorite: "virgin's tears.*"

We need Obama to get our economy going,
and now we need him to get us coming.
We need an immediate addition to the healthcare
bill for lubrication.

*The tears were mine!

--
Hidden Draggin - Gilbert Hansford
CEO of the Brown and Mushy Corporation
http://hiddendraggin.posterous.com/

DT

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Dec 18, 2009, 12:36:45 PM12/18/09

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Hidden Draggin wrote:
> Iran has apparently seized an oil well in Iraq
> sending Kentucky Jelly futures through the
> roof. This could lead to the use of unwise
> substitutes such as butter, vaseline, toe jam,
> ear wax, and my favorite: "virgin's tears.*"
>
> We need Obama to get our economy going,
> and now we need him to get us coming.
> We need an immediate addition to the healthcare
> bill for lubrication.
>
> *The tears were mine!
>

I'm reminded of a limerick in a little book of dirty jokes that my
father kept hidden under his socks:

I pity poor Ned and poor Nelly
Now they walk belly to belly.
For they, in their haste,
Used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly!

DT

Kitty P

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Dec 18, 2009, 1:09:58 PM12/18/09

to

"DT" <dal...@gnusguy.com> wrote in message
news:hggej...@news3.newsguy.com...

People will whine about their gas prices going up over things like this -
but without lubricant the whole boomer generation will go beyond whining to
down right cranky.

Kitty

Wilson

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Dec 18, 2009, 4:02:57 PM12/18/09

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"Kitty P" <pain...@charter.net> wrote in message
news:_zPWm.1579$lV1...@newsfe02.iad...

I keep remembering the comment you made about me probably not aging
gracefully. I don't find the idea of old person sex particularly appealing.
Until that is, I remember that I'm fairly near to being an old person. If
not there already.

Sigh.

--
Wilson
http://puddinheadwilson.tumblr.com

Nobody in Particular

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Dec 18, 2009, 8:43:18 PM12/18/09

to

Hidden Draggin wrote:

> Iran has apparently seized an oil well in Iraq
> sending Kentucky Jelly futures through the
> roof. This could lead to the use of unwise
> substitutes such as butter, vaseline, toe jam,
> ear wax, and my favorite: "virgin's tears.*"

Kentucky Jelly is water-based, not petroleum based.

Hidden Draggin

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Dec 18, 2009, 9:05:27 PM12/18/09

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I know that...I am joking around after all.

herbzet

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Dec 18, 2009, 10:12:29 PM12/18/09

to

Hidden Draggin wrote:
>
> Iran has apparently seized an oil well in Iraq
> sending Kentucky Jelly futures through the
> roof. This could lead to the use of unwise
> substitutes such as butter, vaseline, toe jam,
> ear wax, and my favorite: "virgin's tears.*"
>
> We need Obama to get our economy going,
> and now we need him to get us coming.
> We need an immediate addition to the healthcare
> bill for lubrication.
>
> *The tears were mine!

The blood was his.

--
hz

Love

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Dec 19, 2009, 4:35:05 AM12/19/09

to

In article <hghb3n$spt$1...@news.eternal-september.org>, nob...@invalid.com
says...

>
>Hidden Draggin wrote:
>
>> Iran has apparently seized an oil well in Iraq
>> sending Kentucky Jelly futures through the
>> roof. This could lead to the use of unwise
>> substitutes such as butter, vaseline, toe jam,
>> ear wax, and my favorite: "virgin's tears.*"
>
>Kentucky Jelly is water-based, not petroleum based.

Yeah but the tubs they cook it in are heated with oil.

--
Love

May Shai-Hulud clear the path before you.

Love

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Dec 19, 2009, 4:35:05 AM12/19/09

to

In article <3uednb8JpKKbc7bW...@supernews.com>,
Wil...@nowhere.net says...

All you old people please stop having sex immediately! The
mere thought of your withered and atrophied old bodies slapping
together in a vicious parody of lust would be repellent to any
right-thinking person.

daletx

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Dec 19, 2009, 7:22:32 AM12/19/09

to

Well, a friend of mine says that when he was 18, he used to wonder how
fat people had sex. By the time he was 30, he knew.

So, all you young'uns out there, (who would *that* be? Ben?), soon
enough you'll know what old people sex is like. If you're lucky...

DT

Keynes

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Dec 19, 2009, 10:37:25 AM12/19/09

to

On Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:43:18 -0800, Nobody in Particular <nob...@invalid.com>
wrote:

>Hidden Draggin wrote:
>
>> Iran has apparently seized an oil well in Iraq
>> sending Kentucky Jelly futures through the
>> roof. This could lead to the use of unwise
>> substitutes such as butter, vaseline, toe jam,
>> ear wax, and my favorite: "virgin's tears.*"
>
>Kentucky Jelly is water-based, not petroleum based.

Vaseline (petroleum jelly) was a waxy by product
of oil drilling. Naturally some entrepreneur (Robert
Chesebrough) had his mind in the gutter and marketed
it as a lubricant. A scary thing about that product is that
it is quickly and easily absorbed through the skin into the body.
Like we all need our regular dose of 10W40.

Lee Rudolph

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Dec 19, 2009, 10:57:14 AM12/19/09

to

DT <dal...@gnusguy.com> writes:

>I'm reminded of a limerick in a little book of dirty jokes that my
>father kept hidden under his socks:
>
>I pity poor Ned and poor Nelly
>Now they walk belly to belly.
>For they, in their haste,
>Used library paste
>Instead of petroleum jelly!

I'm sure you also know (perhaps from the same source) about
what happened to the newlyweds who confused a jar of vaseline
with a pot of putty.

All their windowpanes fell out.

Lee Rudolph

Déjà Flu

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Dec 20, 2009, 6:19:26 PM12/20/09

to

No, it isn't.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petroleum_jelly

--
Ubi dubium ibi libertas

Wally Chapman

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Dec 20, 2009, 7:03:02 PM12/20/09

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Rod wax? I thought that *was* Kentucky Jelly!

Wally

Déjà Flu

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Dec 20, 2009, 7:08:09 PM12/20/09

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is.
isn't absorbed.
A-tall.