Who am I? (I have no idea)
jenmat
Haven't posted for a while. Last time was just a Delurk.
Right now, I want to ask a question. Who am I? You see, I
think I have multiple personalities.
SHUT UP!
You see? They bug me constantly.
SURELY YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME! IT'S YOU WHO BUGS ME!
Would you cut it out and let me speak my peace?
I take that as a yes. Ah well. I think I'm having problems with my
mouse and my screen.
(DUH)
Anyways, my mouse sometimes won't move over the spot I want it
to and my screen keeps dimming.
I KNEW THAT!
I'm not talking to you.
oh yeah so youre not talking to her but youll talk to me wont you
Certainly, I mean, you don't interrupt me like she does.
INTERRUPTING?
Well, anyways
Susan Irlbeck (irl...@nando.net)
I think multiple personalities are common around here. You might want
to talk FiX. He seems to have a similar problem with his. I suppose it might
be said Cruiser and I are a "split personality" but we're a rather unusual
case. We usually make separate posts and people talk to us separately.
::Even though you won't let me get my own mailbox...(canine pout)::
Please don't start that again, Cruiser. Anyway, usually we get along.
But he's being stubborn lately because I won't let him have his own mailbox.
::You also read my posts as I'm making them.::
And you read mine. So we're even. In fact, you're sitting here next to
me, staring at the screen.
::Why shouldn't I? This post concerns me too.::
(*sigh*) Welcome to the newsgroup, Susan!
::Drooly kisses. Lots of wet, slobbery drooly kisses for you.::
He means well, really. The drool washes off, so it's best to smile and
look happy about his "gift".
::You mean she might not appreciate?::
Talk to you later!
::Bye!::
Jennifer of White Shadow
Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
Hunter
k> ::::: and just WHY can't he have his own mailbox? i'll back you, Cruiser -
k> i think it sounds like a wonderful idea.................:::::
k> Kyrra
Me, too - I'll give you an account on my system, Cruiser. 'Course, we still
gotta come up with a way for you to log in.... hmmmn
--
> The views of this user are vital to the continued operation of the universe!
Fidonet: Hunter 1:101/175 Internet: Hun...@vader.com
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
>
>jen...@mi.net (jenmat) wrote:
>
>>In article <4h2h2p$m...@castle.nando.net>, irl...@nando.net wrote:
>>Haven't posted for a while. Last time was just a Delurk.
>>Right now, I want to ask a question. Who am I? You see, I
>>think I have multiple personalities.
>
>Believe me, it sometimes is a great assett!
$ Cruiser: ::Sure, there's a lot of people to blame things on! *toothy
$ grin*::
>
>>SHUT UP!
>>You see? They bug me constantly.
>>SURELY YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME! IT'S YOU WHO BUGS ME!
>>Would you cut it out and let me speak my peace?
>
>I think you (Suzan, not THE UNKNOWN or the other tiny voice)
>should begin an education program for the other personalities...
$ Jennifer: I don't know if it would work. I've tried to educate Cruiser. He
$ pretends to learn. He pretends to obey. But he's still no better.
Cruiser, I think you haven't got things pat: the goal is to pretend
to obey *in a way Jennifer will believe you do*!
$ Cruiser: ::Everything I need to know I've taught myself...::
Nonono! You should have said :"but you taght me *so well* I
haven't got anything new to learn"...
$ Jennifer (*sigh*): See what I mean?
Yeah, he's too honest...
>
>>I take that as a yes. Ah well. I think I'm having problems with my
>>mouse and my screen.
>>(DUH)
>>Anyways, my mouse sometimes won't move over the spot I want it
>>to and my screen keeps dimming.
>
>Ah, gremlins, you'll fit *very well* in this group!
$ Cruiser: ::Gremlins? Where? Demonstalker finished his hunt before I could
$ join him and I'm in the mood to scare some gremlins.::
>
>>I KNEW THAT!
>>I'm not talking to you.
>>oh yeah so youre not talking to her but youll talk to me wont you
>>Certainly, I mean, you don't interrupt me like she does.
>>INTERRUPTING?
>
>>Well, anyways
>
>> Susan Irlbeck (irl...@nando.net)
>
>
>> I think multiple personalities are common around here. You might want
>>to talk FiX. He seems to have a similar problem with his.
>
>Problem, what problem? You just have to set the rules: *I* am the
>domining personality, and will take no s*** from any other! I Just
>use the carrot and *REAL HUGE TWO BARRELS GUN* method...
>If they behave, they can use the body regularly without me
>interfering... if they don't, they find themselves bumping their head
>on every door, unexplicably falling while running and generally having
>a lot of motricity disorders that are *very* painful, for a short
>time... they also develop strange personality disorders (I had Gogol
>{don't ask!) behave by having him bit everybody who agreed to
>pet him)...:-) it's all a question of education, I tell you!
$ Jennifer: Uh oh. Saying "don't ask" to Cruiser is better than an $
invitation.
$ Cruiser: ::Who's Gogol? I suppose having one body would be a problem.
Well, since you *did* ask: Gogol is my 3 years old self, the one that
thought it was neat to have all those people saying "isn't he cute? Wanna
have a hug and a kiss? What a beautiful baby" and so on... he never learnt
that people react differently to a 28 years old man asking to be petted...
$ Kind of like having only one mailbox and having to share it...Very hard.
$ But we could solve the mailbox problem, couldn't we, Lady?::
$ Jennifer: Cruiser, you're not getting your own mailbox and we shouldn't be
$ carrying our private disputes into this message.
$ Cruiser: ::But it would be so much easier...::
$ Jennifer: Any ideas other than using a carrot or guns? Neither one would
$ work with Cruiser.
Maybe preventing him to drool on people, or catching the virtual food before
he does...
>
>> I suppose it might
>>be said Cruiser and I are a "split personality" but we're a rather unusual
>>case. We usually make separate posts and people talk to us separately.
>
>They should, I wouldn't want to get Cruiser mad at me...
$ Cruiser: ::Smart and respectful. I like that. *toothy grin*::
>
>> ::Even though you won't let me get my own mailbox...(canine pout)::
>
>That's pretty unfair, Jennifer... hey, Cruiser, if I manage to
>persuade her into giving you your own mailbox, would you
>come to Paris for a while? I've got these unsufferable students
>who think just because I'm easy-going they can do what they want
>during my courses...
$ Cruiser: ::I can go anywhere. If you get me my own mailbox, I'll come
$ chase a few of these students for you. How about if I chase them off the
$ Eiffel Tower?::
Poor tourists...
$ Jennifer: You're not going anywhere, Cruiser, because you're not getting
$ your own mailbox. End of discussion.
That's *mean*, Jennifer!
$ Cruiser: ::Not really. I've been doing a good job of keeping it alive for
$ the past few days, haven't I?::
$ Jennifer: (ignoring Cruiser) Are you teaching the courses? I hope you
$ don't use the "carrot and gun" method unless teaching rules are a lot more
$ relaxed in France... (*smile*)
No, unfortunately I don't, though it would be *much* less tiring:-)!I use
the explain and answer to questions method, which actually works quite well
with most people, but is quite hard on both body and mind (try standing six
hours in a row with an arm raised)... what is really mentally tiring is when
I've explained something and have a student who will not understand, no
matter how many time (or in how much different ways) I've re-explained the
theory to him... but teaching is great, specially when you've got students
telling you how they weren't interesting in something before but you
interested them...
$ Cruiser: ::Hey, don't ignore me. I hate it when you ignore me!::
Don't worry, Cruiser, nobody could!
>
>> Please don't start that again, Cruiser. Anyway, usually we get along.
>>But he's being stubborn lately because I won't let him have his own mailbox.
>
>Now, Jennifer, I think we should talk... don't you see the mental
>agony Cruiser is suffering because of you?
$ Jennifer: Mental agony? He's the one talking in my head...
So you should see his agony all the more clearly...
$ Cruiser: ::Not really. I'm talking in everyone's head.::
>People talking about him as if he was a dog,
$ Cruiser: ::That really bothers me. Anyone can see I'm not an ordinary
$ dog.::
$ Jennifer: You certainly aren't. No ordinary dog could cause so much
$ trouble.
>people being unable to scan for his messages because it's your name on the headers,
>and so on... you really should have an account just for him!
$ Jennifer: You're not convincing me.
>(See, Cruiser? That's the spirit! Males of the net unite, and all that stuff...
$ Jennifer: Please no male liberation stuff. We already give you guys too
$ much freedom on the NG.
Ah! See this, guys? the womens (secret? Naah! Oh, well, public then) public
agenda of ruling all of us males is at last revealed! What do you know,
since it's public you all knew?... :-)
$ J: (*big smile*) Only kidding.
Oh! (frantically hits the ^H key in order to delete his previous phrases)
$ J: But please don't give Cruiser any ideas. He causes enough trouble on
$ J: his own.
I wouldn't! I mean, I'm already to be drawn and quartered, hanged,
guillotined, and (PLEAASE NO!) tickled mercilessly, without anyone to hug
me, kiss me, or drool over me (sniff, BOOOH, I'm really a poor, rejected son
of humanity! oh, well: "St FiX, manhood's martyr" has a certain goofy
quality that I like)... I certainly wouldn't want to be subjected to more
tortures...
$ Cruiser: ::I can't help that my creativity is interpreted as causing
$ trouble.::
That's the spirit!
>BTW, you haven't found Fluffy's book again, do you? I'd like to have it lent to me...)
$ Cruiser: ::It is buried in the backyard--::
$ Jennifer: Where it's going to stay...
$ Cruiser: ::--but I might be persuaded to remember where I buried it for a
$ suitable inducement.::
$ Jennifer: Meaning you'd have to bribe him with food. Fortunately, there's
$ a metre of snow on top of the ground and the ground is frozen solid. So I
$ don't think you'll be getting at the book anytime soon.
$ Cruiser: ::I can dig even in frozen ground.::
$ Jennifer: If you do dig up the book, you'll return it to Capt. Fluffy.
$ Cruiser: ::I can't return a present. It's impolite.::
>Yeah, what she said... oh, and yeah, also be prepared to reveive,
>let's see... first of all, a crate of fresh, delicate zen hugs; then,
>some bread from my prefered baker (I hope you like french bread,
>it can be *really good*. Then, a case of vin jaune d'Arbois (one of
>the best wines in France), and... uh, no, no more cooking, since
>most foreigners don't seem to like my prefered food...
$ Cruiser: ::What kind of food are you offering? I'm not picky.::
(looks into fridge) let's see... no, not snails, he couldn't eat those, no
alcool, Jennifer would likely not thank me for a drunk Cruiser, uuuh...
ssome "magret de canard à l'orange", maybe? It's a kind of sweet and sour
dish, with some special duck parts (I don't know their english name)... Or
some "gratin dauphinois" (mostly potatoes with eggs, cream, garlic and a lot
of hand selected spices), or some crab pie (*very* good) ? I'm sorry, I
haven't got many things at hands, so you haven't got much choice...
$ Jennifer: No, just greedy..
>> ::Drooly kisses. Lots of wet, slobbery drooly kisses for you.::
>
>Unfair, Cruiser, us male human can't do that to any woman who delurks,
>it might be misinterpreted!
$ Cruiser: ::You could find an obliging mage to turn you into a canine!
$ *toothy grin*::
Well, I'd like to, but somehow all the mages of the NG are out to get my
hide... I wonder what I did??? :-)
>
>> He means well, really. The drool washes off, so it's best to smile and
>> look happy about his "gift".
>
>> ::You mean she might not appreciate?::
>
>Nuh, that's just Jennifer being jealous, she'd like to be the only one
>drooled over...
$ Jennifer: Cruiser drools enough on me, thank-you. I'm afrtaid I can't
$ accept your offer. (*big smile*) He might get jealous.
Oh, well, it was worth a try... :-)
Jennifer of White Shadow
Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
FiX
You know you're a net-addict when...
(14)You think more about being online than you do about sex.
thinking about sex is a waste of time....
online is at least likely to happen!
Borrowed from Kyrra
jenmat
j> encouraging him, I can't keep up...(*sigh*) If he gets his own mailbox and
j> uses it to order pizza via the e-mil, I'll send you two the bill.
j> ::Why should I stop with pizza?::
>I think it was Martin Caidin who used to tell about fillinf out an
>application for his german shepard and getting him a Mastercard. If Cruiser
>did that, he could get a First Virtual account, and spend money all over the
>net.....
If he does this, Hunter, I'm definitely sending the bill to you...But
you story reminds me of something that happened once when Cruiser needed
medication from the vet. The medication (which was for an ear infection) was
rather expensive and so the vet, instead of filling the prescription herself,
called it into a local pharmacy that has cheaper prices and delivers
prescriptions by people's houses. She said the name of the "patient" was
Cruiser. The person who brought the order to our house later didn't realize
that Cruiser was a dog. When she gave the medication to my mom, she told her
that she hoped her "son" was feeling better soon!
Jennifer of White Shadow
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
(the post was too long for their server... I'm allowed to follow-up with a
post in the NG. Honnestly!)
[unrelated parts of the post edited for the poor people who pay by
traffic...]
>>$ Jennifer: I don't know if it would work. I've tried to educate Cruiser. He
>>$ pretends to learn. He pretends to obey. But he's still no better.
>>Cruiser, I think you haven't got things pat: the goal is to pretend
>>to obey *in a way Jennifer will believe you do*!
>Cruiser: ::I do pretend to obey. But some things are so demeaning...like
>having to come when I'm called. Occasionally, I do answer to my name. But if
>I do it once, people expect me to do it everytime. How boring...::
It's a question of skill: when Jennifer ask you to do something, just say
"right, I'll go do it immediatly", disappear for 2-3 minutes, and come back
looking sheepish... if you want to, you may stop by the fridge, she may not
notice immediatly...
>Jennifer: I notice you don't mind when food is involved.
>
>Cruiser: ::That's different. I'm not actually coming when I'm called. I'm
>coming to make a trade. I get the food and you get the privilege of feeding
>me! *toothy grin*::
It's the same thing with pretending to obey, you know... you get to do what
you want without her noticing, and she gets the satisfaction of having
managed to educate you... well, for a short time, at least, she does...
>>$ Cruiser: ::Everything I need to know I've taught myself...::
>>Nonono! You should have said :"but you taght me *so well* I
>>haven't got anything new to learn"...
>Cruiser: ::But if I said that, then she's think she was in control!::
What's wrong with her *thinking* she is in control?
>Jennifer: I'd never think that, Cruiser. I know you too well. At best, I
>hope for cooperation...(*sigh*)
Well, at least you've got the satisfaction of knowing you're realistic...
realistic is great from time to time... I may try it again (last time was,
let's see,......, 15 years ago? Yeah, right more like 20 years ago)...
>>$ Jennifer (*sigh*): See what I mean?
>>Yeah, he's too honest...
>Jennifer: Better he is that than a liar. At least when he brags about what
>he's done, I know what trouble he's caused.
Ohhh, you loose half the fun this way... the best thing is *imagining* what
he's done this time when he looks smug...
>
>Cruiser: ::I _do not_ brag. That's for vain humans. I have no need to brag.
>I'm CANINE!.::
You know, some people (not me, never!) would say that *this* is bragging...
>Jennifer: At least you've learned honesty, Cruiser. Now if only you would
>temper it with humility...::
>Cruiser: ::What's that?::>
Don't bother trying to understand, I've tried, and though I think I've got
it straight, apparently I'm the only one to think so... I believe it has
something to do with looking sheepish when you feel smug...
[edited]
>>> (I had Gogol
>>>{don't ask!) behave by having him bit everybody who agreed to
>>>pet him)...:-) it's all a question of education, I tell you!
>>
>>$ Jennifer: Uh oh. Saying "don't ask" to Cruiser is better than an $
>>invitation.
>>
>>$ Cruiser: ::Who's Gogol? I suppose having one body would be a problem.
>>
>>Well, since you *did* ask: Gogol is my 3 years old self, the one that
>>thought it was neat to have all those people saying "isn't he cute? Wanna
>>have a hug and a kiss? What a beautiful baby" and so on... he never learnt
>>that people react differently to a 28 years old man asking to be petted...
>Cruiser: ::Why would they?::
>Jennifer: (*sigh*) Let's just say it is another of those inexplicable human
>things, Cruiser.
>Cruiser: ::But why is it a problem? Humans pet me and there's no problem.::
>Jennifer: But you're a canine, Cruiser. As you often point out. Different
>rules for humans.
>Cruiser: ::People are so confusing. Always making life difficult...::
Ah, I really think I should present Gogol to you, he feels the same way...
though maybe I shouldn't: I couldn't pry him from you, he likes "cute
animals"... well, he thinks a lyon running to greet him is a cute animal, so
I think he would consider you cute... anyway, I think you should get along
just fine: he *loves* food, is a master drooler/kisser/petter, and likes
running everywhere creating mayhem... no, I don't think I will let you two
meet, I like having *some* calm moments in my life, and I'm shure Jennifer
does too...
>>
>>$ Kind of like having only one mailbox and having to share it...Very hard.
>>$ But we could solve the mailbox problem, couldn't we, Lady?::
>>
>>$ Jennifer: Cruiser, you're not getting your own mailbox and we shouldn't be
>>$ carrying our private disputes into this message.
>>
>>$ Cruiser: ::But it would be so much easier...::
>>
>>$ Jennifer: Any ideas other than using a carrot or guns? Neither one would
>>$ work with Cruiser.
>>
>>Maybe preventing him to drool on people, or catching the virtual food before
>>he does...
>
>Jennifer: No way I could manage the last one. He's much too fast. Besides, I
>don't think I want to stand between a hungry canine and his food...*smile*
Ohh, I'm shure Cruiser wouldn't dream of trying to eat you... he knows where
his food comes from... besides, I think he would love you even without the
food inducement (don't tell him I said that, I'm shure he thinks that's a
secret)...
>And, as for the drooling, I've tried to stop him. Some people, strangely
>enough, don't like being drooled on...
Why? It's good to be drooled over, and petted, and kissed, and told you're a
beautiful babSHUT UP GOGOL! Sorry, there, I wasn't paying attention, Gogol
got a little carried away... well, you've got Cruiser, I think you know how
it feels...
>Cruiser: ::It's is very strange. I don't know why...Wait a second, Lady.
>You're smiling. Is that sarcasm?::
Oh, cheat, you guessed...
>Jennifer (ignoring Cruiser): But I haven't managed to stop him yet. So that
>idea won't work either. Any others?
Well, there's the leash thing (thinks for a moment, imagines Cruiser happily
bouncing away, with Jennifer being trailed on the ground by the leash)...
hum, nooo, I don't think this is quite a good idea... you know what? You
should get babies mountain heirs, I think you've got to start educating
people when they are *small*... or, maybe you could do one of these typicall
womanly things, like pouting and crying when he's not doing what you want
(ducks, but not fast enough)... it's (AIIIE) grem(thud!)lins, you (arrgh!)
know, they're eve(gasp!)ryw(NONONO! No tickling!)here!
>>>> ::Even though you won't let me get my own mailbox...(canine pout)::
>>>That's pretty unfair, Jennifer... hey, Cruiser, if I manage to
>>>persuade her into giving you your own mailbox, would you
>>>come to Paris for a while? I've got these unsufferable students
>>>who think just because I'm easy-going they can do what they want
>>>during my courses...
>>$ Cruiser: ::I can go anywhere. If you get me my own mailbox, I'll come
>>$ chase a few of these students for you. How about if I chase them off the
>>$ Eiffel Tower?::
>>Poor tourists...
>Cruiser: ::Not really. They'd get to see me!::
Yeah, but on the other hand they'd get to see my students... as I said
earlier, *poor* tourists... besides, I'm not shure they would appreciate
having their pic-nic disappear..
>Jennifer: You really do need to work on at least the pretense of humility.
There's another kind of humility? God, the things my parents didn't think of
telling me!
>>$ Jennifer: You're not going anywhere, Cruiser, because you're not getting
>>$ your own mailbox. End of discussion.
>>That's *mean*, Jennifer!
>Jennifer: I know, I know...Cruiser tells me that quite often. Usually when I
>won't agree with him.
That's a perfectly normal behaviour pattern... I usually think the same,
when I'm trying to get my prefered computer shop to give me their new, cool
200MHz pentium, and they politely refuse...
>>$ Cruiser: ::Not really. I've been doing a good job of keeping it alive for
>>$ the past few days, haven't I?::
>>$ Jennifer: (ignoring Cruiser) Are you teaching the courses? I hope you
>>$ don't use the "carrot and gun" method unless teaching rules are a lot more
>>$ relaxed in France... (*smile*)
>>No, unfortunately I don't, though it would be *much* less tiring:-)!
>Jennifer: For you, maybe. But not for your students who would be in a
>perpetual state of panic! (*smile*)
Yeah, as opposed to *me* always being in a perpetual state of panic...
[edited]
>Jennifer: What do you teach?
Computer science... I mean, I thought it was obvious I'm a computer
scientist: after all, it is *the* science where being *not quite* sane is a
pre-requisite... my profs always told me I would do well in computer
science.... I wonder why?
>>And...would you be interested in teaching Cruiser humility?
Nah, not me, I know my limits...
>>$ Cruiser: ::Hey, don't ignore me. I hate it when you ignore me!::
>>Don't worry, Cruiser, nobody could!
>Jennifer: Nobody would dare...(*sigh*)
Yeah, there is that also... I mean, people aren't likely to ignore a do^H^H
(gremlmins, it was all gremlins, Cruiser, I didn't mean it) canine towering
over their head...
>>>> Please don't start that again, Cruiser. Anyway, usually we get along.
>>>>But he's being stubborn lately because I won't let him have his own mailbox.
>>>Now, Jennifer, I think we should talk... don't you see the mental
>>>agony Cruiser is suffering because of you?
>>$ Jennifer: Mental agony? He's the one talking in my head...
>>So you should see his agony all the more clearly...
>Jennifer: I might be able to if I wasn't distracted by my own "mental
>agony", which he is causing!
Now, Cruiser, that is not a good behaviour, you should really feel
ashamed... I think that to atone, you should promise Jennifer you won't
disobey her for at least *two whole* days! I know, I know, it's difficult,
but you shoud treat people well, and when you don't you should apologize...
(there, Jennifer, this may even work! Well, at least I tried...)
>>$ Cruiser: ::Not really. I'm talking in everyone's head.::
[edited]
>>$ Jennifer: Please no male liberation stuff. We already give you guys too
>>$ much freedom on the NG.
>>Ah! See this, guys? the womens (secret? Naah! Oh, well, public then) public
>>agenda of ruling all of us males is at last revealed! What do you know,
>>since it's public you all knew?... :-)
>>$ J: (*big smile*) Only kidding.
>>Oh! (frantically hits the ^H key in order to delete his previous phrases)
>Jennifer: Bet you're going to blame this one on the gremlins, right?
Na, not me, I'm the guy who's got the gut to stand by his opinios (sees the
approching crowd, swallows hard, and very rapidly continues) just joking!
Itwasgremlinsallalong!IneverevenpostedtothisNG,whatdoyoumeanyou'regoingtoARRGh......
>>$ J: But please don't give Cruiser any ideas. He causes enough trouble on
>>$ J: his own.
>>I wouldn't! I mean, I'm already to be drawn and quartered, hanged,
>>guillotined,
>Jennifer: All at once?
Well, now you see why I'm looking nervously over my shoulder every other
second...
>>and (PLEAASE NO!) tickled mercilessly, without anyone to hug
>>me, kiss me, or drool over me
>Cruiser: ::Sounds like you need some cheering up. *I* will drool on you...::
Thanks, Cruiser, I do appreciate this! However, if you where to stand at my
side, telling people "you'll catch him over my dead body", I would feel even
better... well, hope comes cheap, even though if I was asked such a question
I'd answer "I may be mad, but not tired of life"! Still, nothing asked,
nothing gained...
>>(sniff, BOOOH, I'm really a poor, rejected son of humanity! oh, well: "St
>FiX, >manhood's martyr" has a certain goofy quality that I like)... I
>certainly wouldn't >want to be subjected to more tortures...
>Cruiser: ::The worst torture of all you haven't mentioned...being deprived
>of food!::
Well, not having a head to eat means you'll be deprived of food, you see, so
it was virtually there...
>>$ Cruiser: ::I can't help that my creativity is interpreted as causing
>>$ trouble.::
>>That's the spirit!
>Jennifer: Please don't tell him he's a "suffering artist"!
ME (innocent look) Would I do something to raise havoc like that?
>>>Yeah, what she said... oh, and yeah, also be prepared to reveive,
>>>let's see... first of all, a crate of fresh, delicate zen hugs; then,
>>>some bread from my prefered baker (I hope you like french bread,
>>>it can be *really good*. Then, a case of vin jaune d'Arbois (one of
>>>the best wines in France), and... uh, no, no more cooking, since
>>>most foreigners don't seem to like my prefered food...
>>$ Cruiser: ::What kind of food are you offering? I'm not picky.::
>>(looks into fridge) let's see... no, not snails, he couldn't eat those, no
>>alcool, Jennifer would likely not thank me for a drunk Cruiser, uuuh...
>Jennifer: No, I wouldn't. I saw a drunk cat once and that was bad enough. I
>don't like to think of the havoc a drunk Cruiser could cause...
Oooh! (with a dreamy look) I would like being *not* there if Cruiser ever
gets drunk, I really think I would!
[snip]
>> I'm sorry, I
>>haven't got many things at hands, so you haven't got much choice...
>
>Jennifer: He doesn't need a choice...What matters is that it's edible.
>
>Cruiser: ::Yummy, yummy food! Can I come visit?::
Whenever you wnat! Now, if you would carry Jennifer and Marlo (the italian
b^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H) over here, I would show them the sights, and we may
even be able to make a trip in the UK to see Firesong...
>>>> ::Drooly kisses. Lots of wet, slobbery drooly kisses for you.::
>>>Unfair, Cruiser, us male human can't do that to any woman who delurks,
>>>it might be misinterpreted!
>>$ Cruiser: ::You could find an obliging mage to turn you into a canine!
>>$ *toothy grin*::
>>Well, I'd like to, but somehow all the mages of the NG are out to get my
>>hide... I wonder what I did??? :-)
>Jennifer: Uh oh...I hope they didn't hear that...(*smile*)
So do I, but somehow I doubt they let it pass... I sometimes feel they have
been rented byu the secret services:
"-well, you see, we'd like to have a spell that scan the entire usenet for
posts we could make a fuss about, think you can do this?
-Easy, we've got enough experience, we've been doing so in abm-l for a loong
time... how do you think we caught Fluffy and FiX all these times?"
>Cruiser: ::My Lady is a mage. Maybe she could transform you.::
>Jennifer: Probably not a good idea. I'm trying to stay impartial. Besides,
>one cruiser causes too much trouble. I couldn't keep up with two!
Ohh, I'd promise to be a good boy... no bouncing on every mattress, no
eating all the food in the fridge as soon as I'm not being watched, no...
uh, I hope I'm not giving Cruiser any idea, there?
>>>> He means well, really. The drool washes off, so it's best to smile and
>>>> look happy about his "gift".
>>>> ::You mean she might not appreciate?::
>>>Nuh, that's just Jennifer being jealous, she'd like to be the only one
>>>drooled over...
>>$ Jennifer: Cruiser drools enough on me, thank-you. I'm afrtaid I can't
>>$ accept your offer. (*big smile*) He might get jealous.
>>Oh, well, it was worth a try... :-)
>Jennifer: You can try, if you're prepared to accept the consequences...(*smile*)
Uh-uh! Last time I was prepared to meet the consequences of my acts, I ended
up having all the females (hey, I would say women, but I'm afraid Kyrra
would take offense) of the NG looking for me... and I don't think it was so
that they could all hug me at the same time... I'm afraid I will have to
sorrowfully reject this idea...
> Jennifer of White Shadow
>
> Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
>
FiX
[post heavilly edited because my #@*$! server wouldn't let me post...]
[space added for my server]
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
Wobbler had written an actual computer game like this once.
It was called "Journey to Alpha Centauri". It was a screen
with some dots on it. Because, he said, it happened in real
time, which no-one had ever heard of until computers. He'd
seen on TV that it took three thousand years to get to Alpha
Centauri. He had written it so that if anyone kept their
computer on for three thouand years, they'd be rewarded by
a little dot appearing in the middle of the screen, and then
a message saying,'Welcome to Alpha Centaury. Now go home'
Terry Pratchett, 'Only you can save mankind'
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
->>(the post was too long for their server... I'm allowed to follow-up
with a
->>post in the NG. Honnestly!)
>
-> Surely they wouldn't suspect you of not being honest?
(*smile*)
->Here's the next installment...This message is getting very
->long...(and to be clear, you do have my permission to post it)
->
->
-> J of WS
->
->>
->>[unrelated parts of the post edited for the poor people who pay by
->>traffic...]
->>
->
->>>Cruiser: ::I do pretend to obey. But some things are so
->>>demeaning...like having to come when I'm called. Occasionally, I
->>>do answer to my name. But if I do it once, people expect me to do
->>>it everytime. How boring...::
>>
->>It's a question of skill: when Jennifer ask you to do something,
->>just say "right, I'll go do it immediatly", disappear for 2-3
->>minutes, and come back looking sheepish... if you want to, you may
->>stop by the fridge, she may not notice immediatly...
>
->Jennifer: No, I wouldn't notice. I've only had four and a half years
->to learn his habits...
Oh, my god! Is this *sarcasm*? I think I'm gonna pout (male pout)!
->Cruiser: ::I tried looking sheepish. It worked for the first few
->months. Now she knows better. She knows I'm too smart to just
->"forget". It's a curse being of superior intelligence...(*canine
->sigh*)::
Yeah, I know, it's hard being a genius...
->Jennifer (smiling sweetly) : I wouldn't make any "males in general"
remark,
Now, Jennifer, would *I* do that? Well, if you really want me to...
thinks for a moment... it's hard, since FiX isn't used to... SHUT UP,
François-Xavier... oh, well, nope, I'm not going to comment on male
superiority there... I think it might be detrimental to my health...
besides, I may be a genius, but intelligent? Nahh, if I was, I'd
manage not to be wrapped around every of my female friends' finger...
->FiX. Cruiser can get away with saying it. I don't think half of the
->NG would let you get away with it though.
Oh! And I thought they *liked* me! You mean, when they talk about
tickling me, it is not a *joke*? OSHITOSHITOSHIT! (runs and hides
away)...
>>
->>>Jennifer: I notice you don't mind when food is involved.
>>>
->>>Cruiser: ::That's different. I'm not actually coming when I'm
->>>called. I'm coming to make a trade. I get the food and you get the
->>>privilege of feeding me! *toothy grin*::
>>
->>It's the same thing with pretending to obey, you know... you get to
->>do what you want without her noticing, and she gets the
->>satisfaction of having managed to educate you... well, for a short
->>time, at least, she does...
>
->Jennifer: A very short time...Besides, he only "performs" when
->visitors come over. He doesn't bother pretending for the family or
->close friends anymore. He knows it doesn't work.
Cruiser, I think you didn't train them young enough... you may have to
find a new *young* "owner" and start again... tsss! Such a boring
thing to do! Maybe you could just admit it as a failure on your part,
and learn to live with it...
->Cruiser: ::I just have to refine my technique...*toothy grin*::
I'm afraid it's too late for that... "forewarned is forearmed" and all
that...
>>
->>>>$ Cruiser: ::Everything I need to know I've taught myself...::
>>>>
->>>>Nonono! You should have said :"but you taght me *so well* I
->>>>haven't got anything new to learn"...
>>>
->>>Cruiser: ::But if I said that, then she's think she was in
control!::
>>
->>What's wrong with her *thinking* she is in control?
>
->Cruiser: ::It's okay for a while. But what about when she actually
->wants to make use of that control? I think she's be angry to find
->out she wasn't in charge...::
Why would she ever find out?
->Jennifer (wearily): Cruiser, I've never held that illusion.
Ohh, I'm crushed! I've got to rethink all my views about life! A woman
who has *some* sense... <g>
->>>Jennifer: I'd never think that, Cruiser. I know you too well. At
->>>best, I hope for cooperation...(*sigh*)
>>
->>Well, at least you've got the satisfaction of knowing you're
->>realistic... realistic is great from time to time... I may try it
->>again (last time was, let's see,......, 15 years ago? Yeah, right
->>more like 20 years ago)...
>
->Jennifer: No, not realistic. Optimistic.
Ah, optimism is a great thing... brought to you by the man who isn't
able to be depressed more than two minutes in a day...
->If I were realistic, I'd have given
->up long ago and Cruiser would be causing trouble throughout the
universe...
Wew! Great! I knew women couldn't be sensible... you had me worried
there for a while, though... (the two answers weren't mine, you know!
It's just François-Xavier trying to make my life harder! I'm not
responsible! I mean, did anyone in the NG think that I couldn't escape
any action taken against me, on the grounds of Insanity?)
->Cruiser: ::Sounds like fun! How long till you give in?::
I concur! Please pretty please, Jennifer, when will you give up? Soon,
I hope...
>
->Jennifer: Maybe I could just take a vacation. Anyone want to assume
->responsibility of Cruiser for a few weeks--a year at most? How about
->it, FiX? He could come visit you in France. All you'd have to say is
->you're responsible for his actions...
Well, I can say I'm taking responsibility of his actions... it's not
as if I could legally be held responsible of anything...
->>>>$ Jennifer (*sigh*): See what I mean?
>>>>
->>>>Yeah, he's too honest...
>>>
->>>Jennifer: Better he is that than a liar. At least when he brags
->>>about what he's done, I know what trouble he's caused.
>>
->>Ohhh, you loose half the fun this way... the best thing is
->>*imagining* what he's done this time when he looks smug...
>
->Jennifer: He looks smug all the time! I spend most of my time trying
->to find out what he's done. I don't need to imagine more.
Oh, I don't know... you know, imagination is like a muscle: the more
you work it out, the more powerful it becomes...
->Cruiser: Can I help it that I'm good at what I do?
Ever read comics? You know, the (in)famous Wolverine line: "I'm the
best at what I do, and what I do isn't nice"...
>>>Cruiser: ::I _do not_ brag. That's for vain humans. I have no need to brag.
>>>I'm CANINE!.::
>>
>>>Jennifer: At least you've learned honesty, Cruiser. Now if only you would
>>>temper it with humility...::
>>
>>>Cruiser: ::What's that?::>
>>
>>Don't bother trying to understand, I've tried, and though I think I've got
>>it straight, apparently I'm the only one to think so... I believe it has
>>something to do with looking sheepish when you feel smug...
>
>Cruiser: ::I've never been good at that either. It sounds like humility is
>no fun.::
No, you don't seem to understand... it's AFTER that things start being
fun, when people find out what you've just done...
->Jennifer: Maybe not. But it would make you easier to live with.
That's what you think... personnaly, I think humble people are the
most dangerous ones... like, they just say "I've got this little
habit", and you find out the *little habit* is setting fire on
everthing by watching your house burn...
->Cruiser: ::Why would you want life to be easy? I guarantee
->excitement!::
Oh, sily me! To think I hadn't noticed (poker faced)
->Jennifer: Your kind of "excitement" is causing trouble.
Is there any other kind?
->Cruiser: ::Isn't everyone's?::
Just what I said... Great minds meeting, and similar lines...
->>>>$ Cruiser: ::Who's Gogol? I suppose having one body would be a
->>>>problem.
>>>>
->>>>Well, since you *did* ask: Gogol is my 3 years old self, the one
->>>>that thought it was neat to have all those people saying "isn't
->>>>he cute? Wanna have a hug and a kiss? What a beautiful baby" and
->>>>so on... he never learnt that people react differently to a 28
->>>>years old man asking to be petted...
>>>
->>>Cruiser: ::Why would they?::
>>>
->>>Jennifer: (*sigh*) Let's just say it is another of those
->>>inexplicable human things, Cruiser.
>>>
->>>Cruiser: ::But why is it a problem? Humans pet me and there's no
problem.::
>>>
->>>Jennifer: But you're a canine, Cruiser. As you often point out.
Different rules for humans.
>>>
->>>Cruiser: ::People are so confusing. Always making life
difficult...::
>>
->>Ah, I really think I should present Gogol to you, he feels the same
->>way... though maybe I shouldn't: I couldn't pry him from you, he
->>likes "cute animals"... well, he thinks a lyon running to greet him
->>is a cute animal, so I think he would consider you cute...
>
->Cruiser: ::I've very cute. Ask anyone!::
->Jennifer: Unfortunately, he's right. No wonder he doesn't know what
->humility is. People are always telling him he's cute.
*Before* or *after* he's played with their shoes, eaten their
breakfast and drooled all over them?
->Cruiser: ::And why shouldn't they? It's true and you said honesty is
a good thing.::
Yeah, it is... on the other hand, like Neyvin said (REZAD KATHARINE
KERR), there's lying and there's bandaging the soul...
->Jennifer: Don't remind me...
See what I mean?
->>anyway, I think you should get along just fine: he *loves* food, is
a master >drooler/kisser/petter, and likes running everywhere creating
>mayhem... no, I >don't think I will let you two meet, I like having *some*
>calm moments in my >life, and I'm shure Jennifer does too...
>
>Jennifer: Yes, she does. Cruiser is enough to handle on his own. I don't
>think he needs a partner. Especially a "junior" partner whom he might be
>able to train...
Oh, he hasn't trained you? (thinks of Marlo's and Jennifer's talks
with Firesong...) could have fooled me <g>....
>
>Cruiser: ::Now that's an interesting idea. Training a successor...::
You haven't already started? Good lord, Cruiser, it's a lifelong work!
>Jennifer: Cruiser, why can't you pick up on good suggestions, not bad ones?!
What is a *good* suggestion? I don't think I've ever met one...
>>>>$ Jennifer: Any ideas other than using a carrot or guns? Neither one would
>>>>$ work with Cruiser.
>>>>
>>>>Maybe preventing him to drool on people, or catching the virtual food before
>>>>he does...
>>>
>>>Jennifer: No way I could manage the last one. He's much too fast. Besides, I
>>>don't think I want to stand between a hungry canine and his food...*smile*
>>
>>Ohh, I'm shure Cruiser wouldn't dream of trying to eat you...
>
>Jennifer: ::Oh, I wasn't thinking of that. I meant I would be knocked down.
>It's happened before...
Oh, it sounds like fun! You really have to let Cruiser cross the pond,
you know...
>>he knows where his food comes from...
>
>Jennifer: Yes, but it doesn't make him any better behaved.
>>besides, I think he would love you even without the food inducement (don't
>tell >him I said that, I'm shure he thinks that's a secret)...
>
>Jennifer: Oh, I won't tell him. But he has big ears...
>>
>>>And, as for the drooling, I've tried to stop him. Some people, strangely
>>>enough, don't like being drooled on...
>>
>>Why? It's good to be drooled over, and petted, and kissed, and told you're a
>>beautiful babSHUT UP GOGOL! Sorry, there, I wasn't paying attention, Gogol
>>got a little carried away... well, you've got Cruiser, I think you know how
>>it feels...
>
>Jennifer: Yes. But he has his own body. That means no "inner struggle" but
>it also means he's harder to keep an eye on.
>>>Cruiser: ::It's is very strange. I don't know why...Wait a second, Lady.
>>>You're smiling. Is that sarcasm?::
>>
>>Oh, cheat, you guessed...
>
>Cruiser: ::Told you I was smart! *toothy grin* I just don't understand why
>humans like sarcasm...::
Because it's *fun*! Specially when the other one doesn't catch on...
>
>Jennifer: It's a small comfort, Cruiser, if we can laugh at the trouble you
>cause...
>
See what I mean?
>Cruiser: ::You mean my cute, lovable presence isn't enough of a comfort?::
Naaahh! She wouldn't lie!
>
>>>Jennifer (ignoring Cruiser): But I haven't managed to stop him yet. So that
>>>idea won't work either. Any others?
>>
>>Well, there's the leash thing (thinks for a moment, imagines Cruiser happily
>>bouncing away, with Jennifer being trailed on the ground by the leash)...
>
>Jennifer: It's happened more than once...I still walk Cruiser, although I
>wonder why.
OHGOD! Prescience! I'm developping another great gift! Let's see, I'm
already clever, charming and tactful, now all I've got to get is
muscles... you know, so as to be able to sustain the press of my
loving fans... <g>
>Cruiser: ::Because you love me?::
Who doesn't?
>Jennifer: The one thing that saves you every time...(*smile*)
ah, but then you've got the satisfaction of being a long-suffering
martyr... Ste Jennifer, canine martyr, pray for us, and all that...
>>hum, nooo, I don't think this is quite a good idea... you know what? You
>>should get babies mountain heirs, I think you've got to start educating
>>people when they are *small*...
>
>Jennifer: My family got him when he was a "baby". We thought he would be
>young and impressionable. I think he was much older than we were led to
>believe, or he was very precocious. He trained us long before we could train
>him...
Hey, it's all a question of resilience... by now, you've had Cruiser
for four years, yours should have increased rather drammatically...
>
>Cruiser: ::It's all in the ancestral memories. My kind have been training
>humans for a long time...::
Wow! You've got memory? I thought it had disappeared with computers
apparition...
>
>>or, maybe you could do one of these typicall womanly things, like pouting
>and >crying when he's not doing what you want (ducks, but not fast enough)...
>
>Jennifer (laughing): It's not worth my throwing anything. The gremlins may
>be unfair about a lot of things, but they are very good at catching sexist
>remarks and punishing the offender.
SEXIST REMARK? I resent this! I'm not writing anything sexist, just
stating the obv^H*80... (clears his throat)... you know what? I think
I've been changed into an octopus... I mean, *six* feet in the mouth
with two hands remaining so that I may type... I WANT MY BEAUTIFUL
HUMAN BODY BACK!
>>it's (AIIIE) grem(thud!)lins, you (arrgh!) know, they're
>eve(gasp!)ryw(NONONO! >No tickling!)here!
>
>Jennifer: See?
Sorry, but I don't. See, the gremlins stole my glasses...
>>>>$ Cruiser: ::I can go anywhere. If you get me my own mailbox, I'll come
>>>>$ chase a few of these students for you. How about if I chase them off the
>>>>$ Eiffel Tower?::
>>>>
>>>>Poor tourists...
>>>
>>>Cruiser: ::Not really. They'd get to see me!::
>>
>>Yeah, but on the other hand they'd get to see my students... as I said
>>earlier, *poor* tourists... besides, I'm not shure they would appreciate
>>having their pic-nic disappear..
>
>Jennifer (innocently): People picnic on the Tower?
Oh yes, and leave little plastic bags everywhere...
>
>Cruiser: ::No everything would disappear. I'd leave the basket.::
>
>Jennifer: That's very generous of you, Cruiser. I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
>
>Cruiser: ::I know, I know...Wait, you're not smiling. But do you have to be
>smiling for sarcasm?::
Hum, you know, Cruiser, you learn too quickly... I think I start seing
why Jennifer couldn't train you... I mean, you should have the
*decency* of not catching everything we say! It's so much fun
labouring under a misundertanding...
>>>Jennifer: You really do need to work on at least the pretense of humility.
>>
>>There's another kind of humility? God, the things my parents didn't think of
>>telling me!
>
>Cruiser: ::My ancestors didn't believe in it. Why should I?::
Well, I'm not on this shamanism thing myself, so I don't know what y
ancestors have got to say on this matter...
>Jennifer: Don't look at me you two. I believe in a challenge, but I don't
>take on impossibilities. I think you're both completely "un-teachable".
That's what my teachers used to tell my parents... I remember fondly
this one who called my parents, saying: "he's one of the brightest kid
I ever had to teach, but could you *please* teach him the meaning of
seriousness?" They never managed to do so, though... <sigh>! When I
think of all the trouble my students are giving me, I sometimes think
it's a case of old sins coming back to haunt me... then I think for a
while, and see it isn't the case; I still haven't had a student who
played cards, dices an was reading (and laughing) all at once... maybe
it's a case of waiting for a while...
>Cruiser: ::And proud of it! *toothy grin*::
>>>>
>>>>$ Jennifer: You're not going anywhere, Cruiser, because you're not getting
>>>>$ your own mailbox. End of discussion.
>>>>
>>>>That's *mean*, Jennifer!
>>>
>>>Jennifer: I know, I know...Cruiser tells me that quite often. Usually when I
>>>won't agree with him.
>>>
>>That's a perfectly normal behaviour pattern... I usually think the same,
>>when I'm trying to get my prefered computer shop to give me their new, cool
>>200MHz pentium, and they politely refuse...
>
>Jennifer: "Politely"? How do you try to "convince" them to give you this
>computer?
Oh, I just come into the shop, look around, and ask if I could borrow
this little thing in the corner so I can see what a computer looks
like myself...
>>
>>>>$ Cruiser: ::Not really. I've been doing a good job of keeping it alive for
>>>>$ the past few days, haven't I?::
>>>>
>>>>$ Jennifer: (ignoring Cruiser) Are you teaching the courses? I hope you
>>>>$ don't use the "carrot and gun" method unless teaching rules are a lot more
>>>>$ relaxed in France... (*smile*)
>>>>
>>>>No, unfortunately I don't, though it would be *much* less tiring:-)!
>>>
>>>Jennifer: For you, maybe. But not for your students who would be in a
>>>perpetual state of panic! (*smile*)
>>
>>Yeah, as opposed to me always being in a perpetual state of panic...
>
>Jennifer: Sedatives might be good for that...(*smile*)
Naah, I'm far past that stage...
>>>>I use the explain and answer to questions method, which actually works
>>>quite well
>>>>with most people, but is quite hard on both body and mind (try standing six
>>>>hours in a row with an arm raised)... what is really mentally tiring is when
>>>>I've explained something and have a student who will not understand, no
>>>>matter how many time (or in how much different ways) I've re-explained the
>>>>theory to him... but teaching is great, specially when you've got students
>>>>telling you how they weren't interesting in something before but you
>>>>interested them...
>>>
>>>Jennifer: What do you teach?
>>
>>Computer science... I mean, I thought it was obvious I'm a computer
>>scientist: after all, it is *the* science where being *not quite* sane is a
>>pre-requisite... my profs always told me I would do well in computer
>>science.... I wonder why?
>
>Jennifer: I thought it was Arts students who weren't supposed to be
>completely sane?
Well, actually, what I've always heard was that computer people wher
completely insane, but it's not my habit to brag (yeah, right!
_François-Xavier)...
>Oh well, it's obvious I'm not sane. After all, if I was, I
>wouldn't have anything to do with Cruiser!
Got it wrong there! It's obvious you're not sane, you're posting to
this NG...
>>>>And...would you be interested in teaching Cruiser humility?
>>>>
>>Nah, not me, I know my limits...
>
>Jennifer: He would push you to them and beyond...It's amazing how many times
>you can set new limits.
Yeah, I know, I'm used to outstepping my limits... three A.M.: "OK,
five minutes more on this NG, and I'll go sleep"... Five A.M.:"OK,
I'll just respond to this one post, and go to my bed"... Seven AM:
"OK, Now I can go sleep! What do you mean, it's time starting working
again? I've just started having fun!" Still, there's stretching one's
limits, and trying to do the impossible...
>>>>$ Cruiser: ::Hey, don't ignore me. I hate it when you ignore me!::
>>>>
>>>>Don't worry, Cruiser, nobody could!
>>>
>>>Jennifer: Nobody would dare...(*sigh*)
>>
>>Yeah, there is that also... I mean, people aren't likely to ignore a do^H^H
>>(gremlmins, it was all gremlins, Cruiser, I didn't mean it) canine towering
>>over their head...
>
>Jennifer: I was also thinking that he has destructive ways of remind you
>he's around...
Somehow, I noticed the same thing... OK, Gogol, I'll let you speak! No
nonsense, thoug!
Gogol: qte doggy! Hav a peacov brad! Canipetyoo?
FiX: Sigh!!!
>>>>>Now, Jennifer, I think we should talk... don't you see the mental
>>>>>agony Cruiser is suffering because of you?
>>>>
>>>>$ Jennifer: Mental agony? He's the one talking in my head...
>>>>
>>>>So you should see his agony all the more clearly...
>>>
>>>Jennifer: I might be able to if I wasn't distracted by my own "mental
>>>agony", which he is causing!
>>
>>Now, Cruiser, that is not a good behaviour, you should really feel
>>ashamed...
>
>Cruiser: ::What's that?::
Well, ashamed is like thinking "uh-oh, I've gone too far! There goes
my lunch, and dinner, and net acces", you know? I mean, Jennifer
probably wouldn't want you to miss three meals in a row, but she could
deny you the right to post...
(aside to Jennifer: am I going anywhere, there? I don't think so, but
I'm a stubborn bastard...)
>Jennifer: Something else I haven't succeeded in teaching you.
>
>>I think that to atone, you should promise Jennifer you won't
>>disobey her for at least *two whole* days! I know, I know, it's difficult,
>>but you shoud treat people well, and when you don't you should apologize...
>
>Cruiser: ::What's "apologize"? I've never had to do that. I don't do
>anything wrong!::
Yes, you do! You use present when rightly you shoud have used present
perfect ("I haven't done"...)! See, everyone can be wrong some of the
time (well, except me, but it's just because I'm wrong most of the
time)...
>>(there, Jennifer, this may even work! Well, at least I tried...)
>
>Jennifer: Nice try. Someday, he may even give in just to be unpredictable or
>to surprise the heck out of all of us.
Nahh! I think this would be contrary to all his morals... Cruiser
giving in, what a strange idea...
>>>>>(See, Cruiser? That's the spirit! Males of the net unite, and all that
>>>stuff...
>>>>
>>>>$ Jennifer: Please no male liberation stuff. We already give you guys too
>>>>$ much freedom on the NG.
>>>>
>>>>Ah! See this, guys? the womens (secret? Naah! Oh, well, public then) public
>>>>agenda of ruling all of us males is at last revealed! What do you know,
>>>>since it's public you all knew?... :-)
>>>>
>>>>$ J: (*big smile*) Only kidding.
>>>>
>>>>Oh! (frantically hits the ^H key in order to delete his previous phrases)
>>>
>>>Jennifer: Bet you're going to blame this one on the gremlins, right?
>>
>>Na, not me, I'm the guy who's got the gut to stand by his opinios (sees the
>>approching crowd, swallows hard, and very rapidly continues) just joking!
>>Itwasgremlinsallalong!IneverevenpostedtothisNG,whatdoyoumeanyou'regoingtoAR
>RGh......
>
>Jennifer: You really shouldn't tempt them like that. (*smile*)
Hey, if I'm not allowed some tinywheeny little piec of fun from time
to time, I may become really depressed! I might even stop posting here
for awhile... WHO SAID "Thanks goodness"?
>>>>$ J: But please don't give Cruiser any ideas. He causes enough trouble on
>>>>$ J: his own.
>>>>
>>>>I wouldn't! I mean, I'm already to be drawn and quartered, hanged,
>>>>guillotined,
>>>
>>>Jennifer: All at once?
>>
>>Well, now you see why I'm looking nervously over my shoulder every other
>>second...
>
>Cruiser: ::I could help you watch....Look, there they are!...Just
>kidding!...Is this sarcasm?::
>
>Jennifer: (*sigh*) No, Cruiser.
*sigh* too, I almost belived him, there... sniff! I think they've
forgotten me! (poor puppy look)
>Cruiser: ::Oh. I'll just keep practicing then...::
Um, Cruiser, I think Jennifer is due some consideration... I mean,
she's already a bundle of nerves without you using sarcasm, imagine
the state she will be in if you do... you don't want her to go to the
little padded room next to mine, do you? No fields, no good food, a
cold shower every so often, *no mountain*...
>>>>and (PLEAASE NO!) tickled mercilessly, without anyone to hug
>>>>me, kiss me, or drool over me
>>>
>>>Cruiser: ::Sounds like you need some cheering up. *I* will drool on you...::
>>
>>Thanks, Cruiser, I do appreciate this!
>
>Cruiser: ::See, Lady? Someone appreciates it!::
I won't say anything there... no, I'm serious!
>>However, if you where to stand at my side, telling people "you'll catch him
>>over my dead body", I would feel even better...
>
>Jennifer: Do you want his help before or after they've drawn, quartered,
>guillotined and hanged you?
Well, not to sound disrespectfull towards the *wunderbar* people of
the NG, but I'd appreciate the help *as soon as possible* <shudder>...
>
>>well, hope comes cheap, even though if I was asked such a question I'd
>answer >"I may be mad, but not tired of life"! Still, nothing asked, nothing
>gained...
>
>Cruiser: ::I could protect you, if my Lady doesn't mind.::
>
>Jennifer: You're actually asking my permission to do something?
>
>Cruiser: Well, I'm supposed to be protecting you.
>
>Jennifer: I'm too shocked by the fact that you asked permission! I'll have
>to think about it.
PLEASE DO SO QUICKLY!
>>>>(sniff, BOOOH, I'm really a poor, rejected son of humanity! oh, well: "St
>>>FiX, >manhood's martyr" has a certain goofy quality that I like)... I
>>>certainly wouldn't >want to be subjected to more tortures...
>>>
>>>Cruiser: ::The worst torture of all you haven't mentioned...being deprived
>>>of food!::
>>
>>Well, not having a head to eat means you'll be deprived of food, you see, so
>>it was virtually there...
>
>Cruiser: ::So you're appealing to me for protection on moral grounds?::
Yes, that's it!
>>
>>>>$ Cruiser: ::I can't help that my creativity is interpreted as causing
>>>>$ trouble.::
>>>>
>>>>That's the spirit!
>>>
>>>Jennifer: Please don't tell him he's a "suffering artist"!
>>
>>ME (innocent look) Would I do something to raise havoc like that?
>
>Jennifer: You don't really want me to answer that, do you?
Oh, I think you woiuld really think so... I'm pained!
>>>>$ Cruiser: ::What kind of food are you offering? I'm not picky.::
>>>>
>>>>(looks into fridge) let's see... no, not snails, he couldn't eat those, no
>>>>alcool, Jennifer would likely not thank me for a drunk Cruiser, uuuh...
>>>
>>>Jennifer: No, I wouldn't. I saw a drunk cat once and that was bad enough. I
>>>don't like to think of the havoc a drunk Cruiser could cause...
>>
>>Oooh! (with a dreamy look) I would like being *not* there if Cruiser ever
>>gets drunk, I really think I would!
>
>Jennifer: If it ever happens, I will know who he got the idea from and I'll
>see that he pays you a visit!
And it was such a nifty idea...
>>>>ssome "magret de canard à l'orange", maybe? It's a kind of sweet and sour
>>>>dish, with some special duck parts (I don't know their english name)... Or
>>>>some "gratin dauphinois" (mostly potatoes with eggs, cream, garlic and a lot
>>>>of hand selected spices), or some crab pie (*very* good) ? I'm sorry, I
>>>>haven't got many things at hands, so you haven't got much choice...
>>>
>>>Jennifer: He doesn't need a choice...What matters is that it's edible.
>>>
>>>Cruiser: ::Yummy, yummy food! Can I come visit?::
>>
>>Whenever you wnat! Now, if you would carry Jennifer and Marlo (the italian
>>b^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H)
>
>Jennifer: Careful, careful. Cruiser protects Marlo too!
Yeah, but he just promised me his protection, too.
>>over here, I would show them the sights, and we may even be able to make a
>trip >in the UK to see Firesong...
>
>Cruiser: ::And I could get to try French food! You've got a deal!::
Great!
>Jennifer: I'd love to see France and the UK someday. Now the only problem is
>getting Cruiser to remember his promise...
Hey, Cruiser! I promise you a treat when you've carried them over
here!
>>>>>> ::Drooly kisses. Lots of wet, slobbery drooly kisses for you.::
>>>>>
>>>>>Unfair, Cruiser, us male human can't do that to any woman who delurks,
>>>>>it might be misinterpreted!
>>>>
>>>>$ Cruiser: ::You could find an obliging mage to turn you into a canine!
>>>>$ *toothy grin*::
>>>>
>>>>Well, I'd like to, but somehow all the mages of the NG are out to get my
>>>>hide... I wonder what I did??? :-)
>>>
>>>Jennifer: Uh oh...I hope they didn't hear that...(*smile*)
>>
>>So do I, but somehow I doubt they let it pass... I sometimes feel they have
>>been rented byu the secret services:
>>"-well, you see, we'd like to have a spell that scan the entire usenet for
>>posts we could make a fuss about, think you can do this?
>>-Easy, we've got enough experience, we've been doing so in abm-l for a loong
>>time... how do you think we caught Fluffy and FiX all these times?"
>
>Jennifer: They're really not going to like it if you're giving away their
>secrets...Now you'll have secret services and the half the NG looking for you...
Oh, the secret services don't frighten me...
>>>Cruiser: ::My Lady is a mage. Maybe she could transform you.::
>>>
>>>Jennifer: Probably not a good idea. I'm trying to stay impartial. Besides,
>>>one cruiser causes too much trouble. I couldn't keep up with two!
>>
>>Ohh, I'd promise to be a good boy... no bouncing on every mattress, no
>>eating all the food in the fridge as soon as I'm not being watched, no...
>>uh, I hope I'm not giving Cruiser any idea, there?
>
>Jennifer: No...He moved beyond those simple tricks before he was out of
>puppyhood...(*wistful sigh*) He was so much easier to watch over then. But I
>wonder if I could trust your promise. Cruiser promises a lot of things too
>and usually forgets. I'm not sure if it's "convenient" forgetfulness or not.
I never break a promise! I may bend the rules a little, but I never
break them... of course, bending a littl means being able to make
several knots...
>>>>>Nuh, that's just Jennifer being jealous, she'd like to be the only one
>>>>>drooled over...
>>>>
>>>>$ Jennifer: Cruiser drools enough on me, thank-you. I'm afrtaid I can't
>>>>$ accept your offer. (*big smile*) He might get jealous.
>>>>
>>>>Oh, well, it was worth a try... :-)
>>>
>>>Jennifer: You can try, if you're prepared to accept the
>consequences...(*smile*)
>>
>>Uh-uh! Last time I was prepared to meet the consequences of my acts, I ended
>>up having all the females (hey, I would say women, but I'm afraid Kyrra
>>would take offense) of the NG looking for me... and I don't think it was so
>>that they could all hug me at the same time...
>
>Jennifer: Have you ever stopped to ask them? They could be just kidding...
>(*smile*)
Uh-uh... First I'm too busy running (at present, I'm lost after the
third star on the left, then the second on the right, but I'll find my
black hole to hide in someday...), and besides, what I stopped and
they *were* serious? Methinks milady is trying to get rid of me!
SHAME!
>>I'm afraid I will have to sorrowfully reject this idea...
>
>Jennifer: It's probably safer that way. Besides, if the ladies do catch up
>with you, you wouldn't be in any condition to try.
See? You told me to wait for them, and then you tell me I'm gonna be
hurt by them... I really think you don't like me anymore (gasp, gasp,
sniff, POUT!)
> Jennifer of White Shadow
>
> Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
FiX
"I see millions of frogs on tiny crutches"
Kermit
jen...@mi.net
her posts... this is her last contribution... I have to post it here,
because I will trim it down to managable size for my answer...
There it goes...
#Ooops, forgot to mail you this:
That's alright. Does your mail program have a line limit? This
message is getting very...very long.
###Jennifer: No, I wouldn't notice. I've only had four and a half
#years
#
###to learn his habits...
#
##Oh, my god! Is this *sarcasm*? I think I'm gonna pout (male pout)!
Jennifer: I didn't realize I had to identify it...(*smile*) By the way
(I'm probably going to regret asking this, but I can't resist) what's
the difference between a male and female pout?
#
###Cruiser: ::I tried looking sheepish. It worked for the first few
###months. Now she knows better. She knows I'm too smart to just
###"forget". It's a curse being of superior intelligence...(*canine
###sigh*)::
#
##Yeah, I know, it's hard being a genius...
Jennifer: Now you two are working on the "suffering genius" or "no one
understands me" ploy?
Cruiser: ::Who needs to work at it? It's as natural for me as
breathing...(*toothy grin*) Besides, I'm a canine. You're not supposed
to understand me!::
#
###Jennifer (smiling sweetly) : I wouldn't make any "males in
#general"
##remark,
#
##Now, Jennifer, would *I* do that? Well, if you really want me to...
##thinks for a moment... it's hard, since FiX isn't used to...
Jennifer: Then why is he the one who signs all those posts that are
making you so popular?
##SHUT UP, François-Xavier... oh, well, nope, I'm not going to comment
on male
##superiority there... I think it might be detrimental to my health...
Jennifer: Do I look that threatening? Or are you worried about that
small crowd with the noose?
##besides, I may be a genius, but intelligent? Nahh, if I was, I'd
##manage not to be wrapped around every of my female friends'
##finger...
Cruiser: ::Sounds uncomfortable unless you're really agile...How small
are you or how big are their fingers?::
Jennifer: He doesn't mean it literally, Cruiser. It's an idiom.
Cruiser: ::Idiom...idiom...must be another one of those human
"things". How am I ever to obey you if you keep confusing me? *sly
grin*::
Jennifer: That's your newest excuse, hmm?
Cruiser: ::It's good, if I do say so myself.::
Jennifer: Smugness isn't cute, Cruiser.
Cruiser: ::It isn't? Oh...(*canine pout*)::
#
###FiX. Cruiser can get away with saying it. I don't think half of
#the
###NG would let you get away with it though.
#
##Oh! And I thought they *liked* me! You mean, when they talk about
##tickling me, it is not a *joke*? OSHITOSHITOSHIT! (runs and hides
##away)...
Jennifer: In your bomb shelter?
Cruiser: ::Bomb shelter? Can I test it for you?::
##Cruiser, I think you didn't train them young enough... you may have
##to find a new *young* "owner" and start again... tsss!
Jennifer: Don't say that! There are a lot of little kids in our
neighbourhood. I don't need him to corrupt them.
Cruiser: ::Corrupt them? Me? Or should I say "moi"? (Did you know,
FiX, that some of my ancestors were French?) I can't be corrupting.
I'm too cute.::
Jennifer: It doesn't work like that. Being cute just means you don't
look like you'd corrupt anyone.
##Such a boring thing to do! Maybe you could just admit it as a
failure on your
##part, and learn to live with it...
Cruiser: ::What is failure? It's never happened to me...::
Jennifer: Do you see why I sometimes think I'm fighting a losing
battle? He doesn't even recognize that he could lose...
#
###Cruiser: ::I just have to refine my technique...*toothy grin*::
#
##I'm afraid it's too late for that... "forewarned is forearmed" and
##all that...
Jennifer: (*sigh*) Not necessarily. The woman my family adopted
Cruiser from warned us that his kind are very stubborn and like to be
dominant. We adopted him anyway...
Cruiser: ::Just proves who's smarter...*toothy grin*::
Jennifer: It has nothing to do with intelligence. People like to
delude themselves, Cruiser. It's a coping mechanism. Otherwise, we
would go mad or our egos would be very badly bruised.
Cruiser: ::Do I drive you mad?::
Jennifer: You do a good job of trying...
Cruiser: ::But I wasn't trying.::
Jennifer: That's what makes it so hard. (*sigh*)
Cruiser: ::And do I bruise your ego?::
Jennifer: No, I can't even have one. There wouldn't be room for
another one in the house. Yours takes up too much space.::
###Cruiser: ::It's okay for a while. But what about when she actually
###wants to make use of that control? I think she's be angry to find
###out she wasn't in charge...::
#
##Why would she ever find out?
Cruiser: ::She'd find out. She always finds out what I do.::
Jennifer: Eventually...(*sigh*) I usually have to repair the damage.
But on the rare occasions that I don't find out for myself, Cruiser
brags and I find out for myself.
Cruiser: ::I don't brag. I don't have to. I just like you to be proud
of me.::
Jennifer: Oh, I'm very proud. Proud of your capability for
destruction...
Cruiser (beaming): ::Thank-you, Lady...wait, you're not being
sarcastic, are you?::
###Jennifer (wearily): Cruiser, I've never held that illusion.
#
##Ohh, I'm crushed! I've got to rethink all my views about life! A
##woman who has *some* sense... <g#
Jennifer: Some of us have managed to keep a little. Although living
with men usually erodes it all quite quickly...(*smile*)
###Jennifer: No, not realistic. Optimistic.
#
##Ah, optimism is a great thing... brought to you by the man who isn't
##able to be depressed more than two minutes in a day...
Cruiser: ::Why are you even depressed for two minutes? I'm full of
boundless optimism!::
Jennifer: And boundless energy. A dangerous combination...
#
###If I were realistic, I'd have given
###up long ago and Cruiser would be causing trouble throughout the
##universe...
#
##Wew! Great! I knew women couldn't be sensible... you had me worried
##there for a while, though...
Jennifer (smiling): This just proves my above comment.
##(the two answers weren't mine, you know!
Jennifer: Do I know that? (*innocent smile*)
##It's just François-Xavier trying to make my life harder! I'm not
##responsible! I mean, did anyone in the NG think that I couldn't
##escape any action taken against me, on the grounds of Insanity?)
Jennifer: What kind of defense is that on a NG where we're all insane?
###Cruiser: ::Sounds like fun! How long till you give in?::
#
##I concur! Please pretty please, Jennifer, when will you give up?
###Soon, I hope...
Jennifer: I'm being double-teamed? Now if I gave in, that would mean
an end to all the fun and games and I couldn't disappoint anyone by
letting that happen. So I'll perservere...(*smile*)
Cruiser: ::Besides, she's too stubborn to give in. I set a good
example!::
###
###Jennifer: Maybe I could just take a vacation. Anyone want to
#assume
###responsibility of Cruiser for a few weeks--a year at most? How
#about
###it, FiX? He could come visit you in France. All you'd have to say
#is
###you're responsible for his actions...
#
##Well, I can say I'm taking responsibility of his actions... it's not
##as if I could legally be held responsible of anything...
Jennifer: Didn't I mention the 150-page contract you'd have to sign
first?
Must have slipped my mind...But if you'd rather not sign the contract,
I could just bind him to you magically and you'd be compelled to keep
him out of trouble. Hmm, it would have to be a short visit then.
Anymore than a week and the strain would probably kill you...
###Jennifer: He looks smug all the time! I spend most of my time
###trying to find out what he's done. I don't need to imagine more.
#
##Oh, I don't know... you know, imagination is like a muscle: the more
##you work it out, the more powerful it becomes...
Jennifer: True. But my imagination gets w nice workout with all the
writing I do. Imagining what Cruiser borders on worrying and such
constant worry would soon lead me to dementia...
###Cruiser: Can I help it that I'm good at what I do?
#
##Ever read comics? You know, the (in)famous Wolverine line: "I'm the
##best at what I do, and what I do isn't nice"...
Jennifer: Yes, I do read comics.
Cruiser: ::And I eat comics...well, just once when I saw a very
realisitc picture of food...::
###Cruiser: ::I've never been good at that either. It sounds like
###humility is no fun.::
#
##No, you don't seem to understand... it's AFTER that things start
##being fun, when people find out what you've just done...
Cruiser: ::I've never thought of it that way before...::
Jennifer: Be cautious in taking that advice, Cruiser. Think of the
trouble it has got FiX into...
Cruiser: ::Oh, I don't need to borrow trouble. I'd rather create it!::
#
###Jennifer: Maybe not. But it would make you easier to live with.
#
##That's what you think... personnaly, I think humble people are the
##most dangerous ones... like, they just say "I've got this little
##habit", and you find out the *little habit* is setting fire on
##everthing by watching your house burn...
Jennifer: That might be a bad example among this group of
pyrotechnics...
#
###Cruiser: ::Why would you want life to be easy? I guarantee
###excitement!::
#
##Oh, sily me! To think I hadn't noticed (poker faced)
Cruiser: ::Don't you start it too! Sarcasm isn't fair. At least until
I figure out how to do it too...::
#
###Jennifer: Your kind of "excitement" is causing trouble.
#
##Is there any other kind?
Jennifer: With Cruiser, no.
#
###Cruiser: ::Isn't everyone's?::
#
##Just what I said... Great minds meeting, and similar lines...
Jennifer: There's also another expression that comes to mind: "Fools
seldom differ." (*smile*) But I assure you--I'm not implying anything.
###Cruiser: ::I've very cute. Ask anyone!::
#
###Jennifer: Unfortunately, he's right. No wonder he doesn't know
#what
###humility is. People are always telling him he's cute.
#
##*Before* or *after* he's played with their shoes, eaten their
##breakfast and drooled all over them?
Jennifer: Doesn't matter. They still think he's cute even when he's
being bad.
Cruiser: ::Told you I can away with anything!::
#
###Cruiser: ::And why shouldn't they? It's true and you said honesty
#is
##a good thing.::
#
##Yeah, it is... on the other hand, like Neyvin said (REZAD KATHARINE
##KERR), there's lying and there's bandaging the soul...
Jennifer: I thought his name was "Nevyn" and yes, I do read Katharine
Kerr.
Who else would have a character named "no one"?
Cruiser: ::How do you bandage a soul? Isn't a soul hard to get a hold
of?::
####anyway, I think you should get along just fine: he *loves* food,
#is
##a master #drooler/kisser/petter, and likes running everywhere
#creating
###mayhem... no, I #don't think I will let you two meet, I like having
#*some*
###calm moments in my #life, and I'm shure Jennifer does too...
###
###Jennifer: Yes, she does. Cruiser is enough to handle on his own. I
#don't
###think he needs a partner. Especially a "junior" partner whom he
#might be
###able to train...
#
##Oh, he hasn't trained you? (thinks of Marlo's and Jennifer's talks
##with Firesong...) could have fooled me <g#....
Jennifer: Fortunately, Cruiser doesn't give that kind of "training".
As for what I know about it, you might say it a "natural instinct".
(laugh)
###
###Cruiser: ::Now that's an interesting idea. Training a
#successor...::
#
##You haven't already started? Good lord, Cruiser, it's a lifelong
#work!
Cruiser: ::Not for me. Any successor of mine would have to be a fast
learner. But I'm in no hurry. I'm immortal!::
Jennifer: Yes, there will probably always be a force of destruction in
the universe...
#
###Jennifer: Cruiser, why can't you pick up on good suggestions, not
#bad ones?!
#
##What is a *good* suggestion? I don't think I've ever met one...
Jennifer: I'm trying to keep this conversation clean. No need to
corrupt Cruiser anymore. But then--what could I say that he hasn't
already seen on this NG?
Cruiser: ::I know a good suggestion. Get me my own e-mail account!::
Jennifer: Don't start that again, Cruiser!
Cruiser: ::"Start it"? I never stopped it. I'm just continuing it!::
####Ohh, I'm shure Cruiser wouldn't dream of trying to eat you...
###
###Jennifer: ::Oh, I wasn't thinking of that. I meant I would be
###knocked down. It's happened before...
#
##Oh, it sounds like fun! You really have to let Cruiser cross the
##pond, you know...
Jennifer: You think being bruised is fun?
###Cruiser: ::Told you I was smart! *toothy grin* I just don't
###understand why humans like sarcasm...::
#
##Because it's *fun*! Specially when the other one doesn't catch on...
Cruiser: ::Do you want to be the one who doesn't catch on? I need to
practice my sarcasm.::
###Jennifer: It's a small comfort, Cruiser, if we can laugh at the
#trouble you
###cause...
###
##See what I mean?
Cruiser: ::I aim to please!::
Jennifer: You just never say who you're trying to please.
###Cruiser: ::You mean my cute, lovable presence isn't enough of a
#comfort?::
#
##Naaahh! She wouldn't lie!
Cruiser: ::Of course she wouldn't lie! She's my Lady!::
Jennifer: I don't think you've quite grasped sarcasm yet, Cruiser...
####Well, there's the leash thing (thinks for a moment, imagines
#Cruiser happily
####bouncing away, with Jennifer being trailed on the ground by the
#leash)...
###
###Jennifer: It's happened more than once...I still walk Cruiser,
###although I wonder why.
#
##OHGOD! Prescience! I'm developping another great gift!
Jennifer: My goodness...how do you keep track of them all? (*smile*)
Cruiser: Hey, Lady, you've got that strange smile on nyoru face
again...
##Let's see, I'm already clever, charming and tactful, now all I've
got to get ##is muscles...
Cruiser: ::Who needs muscles? Speed is much better. You run circles
around your opponents, make them dizzy, watch them collapse and then
laugh at them!::
##you know, so as to be able to sustain the press of my loving fans...
<g#
Jennifer: Oh, would that be the ones coming toward you with the noose?
###Cruiser: ::Because you love me?::
#
##Who doesn't?
Cruiser: ::The whole world loves me!::
#
###Jennifer: The one thing that saves you every time...(*smile*)
#
##ah, but then you've got the satisfaction of being a long-suffering
##martyr... Ste Jennifer, canine martyr, pray for us, and all that...
Cruiser: ::Don't you have to die to be a martyr? NO ONE IS GOING TO
KILL MY LADY!::
Jennifer: Easy, Cruiser. I'm sure he didn't mean it that way. But I
think I'll pass on sainthood. Saints don't get to have any fun.
They're supposed to be virtuous. But you might pass the idea along to
Fluffy. He's looking for a way to prove his purity.
###Jennifer: My family got him when he was a "baby". We thought he
#would be
###young and impressionable. I think he was much older than we were
#led to
###believe, or he was very precocious. He trained us long before we
#could train
###him...
#
##Hey, it's all a question of resilience... by now, you've had Cruiser
##for four years, yours should have increased rather drammatically...
Jennifer: It is. Also, my ability to ignore nosie has increased.
Cruiser's bark is LOUD!
Cruiser: Lady! My bark isn't noise. It's music.
Jennifer: Which very few can appreciate...
###
###Cruiser: ::It's all in the ancestral memories. My kind have been
###training humans for a long time...::
#
##Wow! You've got memory? I thought it had disappeared with computers
##apparition...
Cruiser: ::Lady, is this sarcasm?::
###or, maybe you could do one of these typicall womanly things, like
#pouting
###and #crying when he's not doing what you want (ducks, but not fast
#enough)...
###
###Jennifer (laughing): It's not worth my throwing anything. The
###gremlins may ##be unfair about a lot of things, but they are very
good at ###catching sexist remarks and punishing the offender.
#
##SEXIST REMARK? I resent this! I'm not writing anything sexist, just
##stating the obv^H*80... (clears his throat)... you know what? I
#think
##I've been changed into an octopus... I mean, *six* feet in the mouth
##with two hands remaining so that I may type... I WANT MY BEAUTIFUL
##HUMAN BODY BACK!
Jennifer: Did finally find a mage to perform the shape-change? Or are
you tempting the ladies of the NG again?
####it's (AIIIE) grem(thud!)lins, you (arrgh!) know, they're
###eve(gasp!)ryw(NONONO! #No tickling!)here!
###
###Jennifer: See?
#
##Sorry, but I don't. See, the gremlins stole my glasses...
Jennifer: Rather convenient...(*smile*)
Cruiser: ::I'll find them for you...here they are...oops, I stepped on
them...do you mind if they're in a few pieces?::
Jennifer: That's alright, Cruiser. He already has a distorted view of
the world...(*smile*)
###Jennifer (innocently): People picnic on the Tower?
#
##Oh yes, and leave little plastic bags everywhere...
###
###Cruiser: ::No everything would disappear. I'd leave the basket.::
###
###Jennifer: That's very generous of you, Cruiser. I'm sure they'd
#appreciate it.
###
###Cruiser: ::I know, I know...Wait, you're not smiling. But do you
#have to be
###smiling for sarcasm?::
#
##Hum, you know, Cruiser, you learn too quickly... I think I start
##seing why Jennifer couldn't train you...
Jennifer: Seeing without your glasses? (*smile*)
##I mean, you should have the *decency* of not catching everything we
say!
It's ##so much fun labouring under a misundertanding...
Cruiser: ::More fun for you. You get to laugh at me. That's okay.
Laugh while you can. You don't know half the things I've done!::
Jennifer: I don't like it when he makes remarks like that...
#
#####Jennifer: You really do need to work on at least the pretense of
#humility.
####
####There's another kind of humility? God, the things my parents
#didn't think of
####telling me!
###
###Cruiser: ::My ancestors didn't believe in it. Why should I?::
#
##Well, I'm not on this shamanism thing myself, so I don't know what y
##ancestors have got to say on this matter...
Cruiser: ::I'm a shaman? Now I'm discovering new gifts!::
#
###Jennifer: Don't look at me you two. I believe in a challenge, but I
###don't take on impossibilities. I think you're both completely
###"un-teachable".
#
##That's what my teachers used to tell my parents... I remember fondly
##this one who called my parents, saying: "he's one of the brightest
##kid I ever had to teach, but could you *please* teach him the
meaning of
##seriousness?" They never managed to do so, though... <sigh#!
Jennifer: I can see they had no success teaching you
humility...(*smile*) But I'm glasd they didn't teach you seriousness.
An education is more fun is you can laugh while learning.
##When I think of all the trouble my students are giving me, I
sometimes
##think it's a case of old sins coming back to haunt me...
Jennifer: Reminds me of my dad...He would often laugh if my brother or
I did something bad and mumble to him about things coming full circle.
Apparently, my grandfather used to promise him that he would only
understand the occasional frustration of raising children when he had
kids himself. My dad says this is true with a funny smirk on his face.
I'm sure he's thinking of a future when his kids have children...
##a #while, and see it isn't the case; I still haven't had a student
who
##played cards, dices an was reading (and laughing) all at once...
##maybe it's a case of waiting for a while...
Jennifer: It's happen eventually. Or maybe you'll be really lucky and
get someone who's even less serious than you used to be...
###Jennifer: "Politely"? How do you try to "convince" them to give you
###this computer?
#
##Oh, I just come into the shop, look around, and ask if I could
##borrow this little thing in the corner so I can see what a computer
looks
##like myself...
Jennifer: And they turn you down? Shocking...
#
#####Jennifer: For you, maybe. But not for your students who would be
#in a
#####perpetual state of panic! (*smile*)
####
####Yeah, as opposed to me always being in a perpetual state of
#panic...
###
###Jennifer: Sedatives might be good for that...(*smile*)
#
##Naah, I'm far past that stage...
Jennifer: Tranquilizer darts?
####Computer science... I mean, I thought it was obvious I'm a
#computer
####scientist: after all, it is *the* science where being *not quite*
#sane is a
####pre-requisite... my profs always told me I would do well in
#computer
####science.... I wonder why?
###
###Jennifer: I thought it was Arts students who weren't supposed to be
###completely sane?
#
###Well, actually, what I've always heard was that computer people
wher
##completely insane, but it's not my habit to brag (yeah, right!
##_François-Xavier)...
Jennifer: You're just honest like Cruiser, right?
###Oh well, it's obvious I'm not sane. After all, if I were, I
###wouldn't have anything to do with Cruiser!
#
##Got it wrong there! It's obvious you're not sane, you're posting to
##this NG...
Jennifer: True. Both good examples of insanity...
#
######And...would you be interested in teaching Cruiser humility?
######
####Nah, not me, I know my limits...
###
###Jennifer: He would push you to them and beyond...It's amazing how
###many times you can set new limits.
#
##Yeah, I know, I'm used to outstepping my limits... three A.M.: "OK,
##five minutes more on this NG, and I'll go sleep"... Five A.M.:"OK,
##I'll just respond to this one post, and go to my bed"... Seven AM:
##"OK, Now I can go sleep! What do you mean, it's time starting
##working again? I've just started having fun!" Still, there's
stretching
##one's limits, and trying to do the impossible...
Jennifer: Stretching your limits is a good thing when it is done with
some thought. Having your limits stretched for you--now that is more
frustrating.
Unfortunately, I don't think Cruiser believes in the impossible.
###Jennifer: I was also thinking that he has destructive ways of
###remind you he's around...
#
##Somehow, I noticed the same thing... OK, Gogol, I'll let you speak!
##No nonsense, thoug!
##Gogol: qte doggy! Hav a peacov brad! Canipetyoo?
###FiX: Sigh!!!
Jennifer: At least Cruiser speaks in a semi-recognizable way...Is
Gogol offering Cruiser a piece of bread? I can't understand him. Maybe
this is why I don't do much babysitting anymore...
Cruiser: ::He's perfectly understandable. Hi Gogol! Sure you can pet
me. I have very soft white fur and people love to run their fingers
through it. Do you want me to drool on you?::
Jennifer: Uh oh, FiX, maybe you shouldn't have let Gogol talk. He'll
be more trouble now that Cruiser is encouraging him...
####Now, Cruiser, that is not a good behaviour, you should really feel
####ashamed...
###
###Cruiser: ::What's that?::
#
##Well, ashamed is like thinking "uh-oh, I've gone too far! There goes
##my lunch, and dinner, and net acces", you know? I mean, Jennifer
##probably wouldn't want you to miss three meals in a row, but she
##could deny you the right to post...
Jennifer: No, I can't. (*weary sigh*) I've tried.
Cruiser (gleefully): ::No she can't! The best she can do is be able to
read what I post. I still have to use her accounts. That's why I want
one of my own. Then she'd have no reason to watch over me.::
Jennifer: Except my moral duty to the rest of humanity...
##(aside to Jennifer: am I going anywhere, there? I don't think so,
##but I'm a stubborn bastard...)
Jennifer (quietly so Cruiser won't hear): I appreciate your attempt.
But no, you're not making any progress. You really have to be stubborn
if you want to reason with Cruiser. I've been at it for years and all
I can is that I'm lucky not to have lost ground.
###Cruiser: ::What's "apologize"? I've never had to do that. I don't
###do anything wrong!::
#
##Yes, you do! You use present when rightly you shoud have used
##present perfect ("I haven't done"...)!
Jennifer: Good luck trying to teach him the rules of grammar. But
actually, he is correct. To say "I haven't done..." implies he may do
something wrong someday. He would never admit that possibility.
##See, everyone can be wrong some of the time (well, except me, but
it's just ##because I'm wrong most of the time)...
Cruiser: ::Why would I be wrong? Humans are fallible by nature.
Canines are not. That's why we're superior.::
#
####(there, Jennifer, this may even work! Well, at least I tried...)
###
###Jennifer: Nice try. Someday, he may even give in just to be
###unpredictable or to surprise the heck out of all of us.
#
##Nahh! I think this would be contrary to all his morals... Cruiser
##giving in, what a strange idea...
Jennifer: You're presuming he has morals.
####Na, not me, I'm the guy who's got the gut to stand by his opinios
#(sees the
####approching crowd, swallows hard, and very rapidly continues) just
#joking!
####Itwasgremlinsallalong!IneverevenpostedtothisNG,whatdoyoumeanyou'regoingtoAR
###RGh......
###
###Jennifer: You really shouldn't tempt them like that. (*smile*)
#
##Hey, if I'm not allowed some tinywheeny little piec of fun from time
##to time, I may become really depressed! I might even stop posting
##here for awhile... WHO SAID "Thanks goodness"?
Jennifer: Not me...(*big smile*) But you do offer your "tinywheeny"
comments more often than from "time to time". Could be why they're
fitting the noose for you...
---[press of "killer" fans]---
###Cruiser: ::I could help you watch....Look, there they are!...Just
###kidding!...Is this sarcasm?::
###
###Jennifer: (*sigh*) No, Cruiser.
#
##*sigh* too, I almost belived him, there... sniff! I think they've
##forgotten me! (poor puppy look)
Jennifer: Count your blessings. Maybe they haven't found your bomb
shelter yet.
#
###Cruiser: ::Oh. I'll just keep practicing then...::
#
##Um, Cruiser, I think Jennifer is due some consideration... I mean,
##she's already a bundle of nerves without you using sarcasm, imagine
##the state she will be in if you do... you don't want her to go to
##the little padded room next to mine, do you? No fields, no good
food, a
##cold shower every so often, *no mountain*...
Cruiser: ::Can you bounce off the walls?::
#
######and (PLEAASE NO!) tickled mercilessly, without anyone to hug
######me, kiss me, or drool over me
#####
#####Cruiser: ::Sounds like you need some cheering up. *I* will drool
#on you...::
####
####Thanks, Cruiser, I do appreciate this!
###
###Cruiser: ::See, Lady? Someone appreciates it!::
#
##I won't say anything there... no, I'm serious!
Jennifer: Sure you are...(*smile*)
#
####However, if you where to stand at my side, telling people "you'll
#catch him
####over my dead body", I would feel even better...
###
###Jennifer: Do you want his help before or after they've drawn,
###quartered, guillotined and hanged you?
#
##Well, not to sound disrespectfull towards the *wunderbar* people of
##the NG, but I'd appreciate the help *as soon as possible*
#<shudder#...
Jennifer: Very nice shudder. Did you know that in medieval times the
worst offenders used to have all of those things done to them? So if
the ladies can't decide whether to hang, guillotine, quarter or draw
you, they could do all of them. (Although you'd be unlikely to survive
past the first) Of course I mention this for purely academic
reasons...
###
####well, hope comes cheap, even though if I was asked such a question
#I'd
###answer #"I may be mad, but not tired of life"! Still, nothing
#asked, nothing
###gained...
###
###Cruiser: ::I could protect you, if my Lady doesn't mind.::
###
###Jennifer: You're actually asking my permission to do something?
###
###Cruiser: Well, I'm supposed to be protecting you.
###
###Jennifer: I'm too shocked by the fact that you asked permission!
###I'll have to think about it.
#
##PLEASE DO SO QUICKLY!
Jennifer: What's the rush? (*smile*)
###Cruiser: ::So you're appealing to me for protection on moral
#grounds?::
#
##Yes, that's it!
Cruiser: ::Aren't I creative for coming up with that? Doesn't this
show my creativity? Are you listening, Lady?::
Jennifer: Yes, Cruiser. So you're going to get someone to admit you're
creative under the threat of death?
Cruiser: ::Why not?::
######$ Cruiser: ::What kind of food are you offering? I'm not
#picky.::
######
######(looks into fridge) let's see... no, not snails, he couldn't eat
#those, no
######alcool, Jennifer would likely not thank me for a drunk Cruiser,
#uuuh...
#####
#####Jennifer: No, I wouldn't. I saw a drunk cat once and that was bad
#enough. I
#####don't like to think of the havoc a drunk Cruiser could cause...
####
####Oooh! (with a dreamy look) I would like being *not* there if
#Cruiser ever
####gets drunk, I really think I would!
###
###Jennifer: If it ever happens, I will know who he got the idea from
###and I'll see that he pays you a visit!
#
##And it was such a nifty idea...
Jennifer: You think so? You must share Cruiser's sense of
"creativity".
###Jennifer: Careful, careful. Cruiser protects Marlo too!
#
##Yeah, but he just promised me his protection, too.
Jennifer: Think carefully about what he has said. Interpretation is
very important. I believe he's agreed to visit France someday. I don't
think he's agreed yet to protect you.
#
####over here, I would show them the sights, and we may even be able
###to make a trip in the UK to see Firesong...
###
###Cruiser: ::And I could get to try French food! You've got a deal!::
#
##Great!
Cruiser: ::When can we come?::
#
###Jennifer: I'd love to see France and the UK someday. Now the only
#problem is
###getting Cruiser to remember his promise...
#
##Hey, Cruiser! I promise you a treat when you've carried them over
##here!
Cruiser: Yummy! What kind of treat?
Jennifer: Ah, Cruiser, I'm not sure I trust FiX feeding you...At least
until I make sure it contains no alcohol...
####So do I, but somehow I doubt they let it pass... I sometimes feel
#they have
####been rented byu the secret services:
####"-well, you see, we'd like to have a spell that scan the entire
#usenet for
####posts we could make a fuss about, think you can do this?
####-Easy, we've got enough experience, we've been doing so in abm-l
#for a loong
####time... how do you think we caught Fluffy and FiX all these
#times?"
###
###Jennifer: They're really not going to like it if you're giving away
#their
###secrets...Now you'll have secret services and the half the NG
#looking for you...
#
##Oh, the secret services don't frighten me...
Jennifer: That either means you're an agent or incredible
optimistic...
###Jennifer: No...He moved beyond those simple tricks before he was
#out of
###puppyhood...(*wistful sigh*) He was so much easier to watch over
#then. But I
###wonder if I could trust your promise. Cruiser promises a lot of
#things too
###and usually forgets. I'm not sure if it's "convenient"
#forgetfulness or not.
#
##I never break a promise! I may bend the rules a little, but I never
##break them... of course, bending a littl means being able to make
##several knots...
Jennifer: Which conveniently creates several loopholes...
####Uh-uh! Last time I was prepared to meet the consequences of my
#acts, I ended
####up having all the females (hey, I would say women, but I'm afraid
#Kyrra
####would take offense) of the NG looking for me... and I don't think
#it was so
####that they could all hug me at the same time...
###
###Jennifer: Have you ever stopped to ask them? They could be just
###kidding...(*smile*)
#
##Uh-uh... First I'm too busy running (at present, I'm lost after the
##third star on the left, then the second on the right, but I'll find
##my black hole to hide in someday...), and besides, what I stopped
and
##they *were* serious? Methinks milady is trying to get rid of me!
##SHAME!
Jennifer: Would I do that? I told you I was impartial...If you find
your black hole, let me know ehere it is. It might the one place
Cruiser could visit without causing trouble.
#
####I'm afraid I will have to sorrowfully reject this idea...
###
###Jennifer: It's probably safer that way. Besides, if the ladies do
#catch up
###with you, you wouldn't be in any condition to try.
#
##See? You told me to wait for them, and then you tell me I'm gonna be
##hurt by them... I really think you don't like me anymore (gasp,
##gasp, sniff, POUT!)
Jennifer (clapping): Very nice emoting. Whose performance is this?
Cruiser: My Lady is very hard to convince...(*canine pout*)
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
mean, last message was 971 lines long, and I don't want everybody
hunting me... what do you mean, everybody's *already* hunting me?
jen...@mi.net wrote:
->##Oh, my god! Is this *sarcasm*? I think I'm gonna pout (male pout)!
->Jennifer: I didn't realize I had to identify it...(*smile*) By the
->way (I'm probably going to regret asking this, but I can't resist)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You're *surely* going to regret asking this...
->what's the difference between a male and female pout?
Well, see, it goes like this: a male pout is something which conveys
poorely conceeled power and menace, while actually being charming in a
maximum macho way... women come from great distances to see my male
pout, you know? What I don't understand is why instead of falling into
my arms they start giggling incontrolably... <sigh> Women! (See, I
*know* I'm gonna regret this (well, sort of <g>)!)
->Jennifer: Now you two are working on the "suffering genius" or "no
->one understands me" ploy?
It'ss not work if it's fun...
->Cruiser: ::Who needs to work at it? It's as natural for me as
->breathing...(*toothy grin*) Besides, I'm a canine. You're not
->supposed to understand me!::
NONONO! You're a *male*, thus women are not supposed to understand
you... males are these wonderful and aloft creatures women are
admiring from a distance, hoping to be noticed by them... (ooh,
*seven* tentacles in the mouth...)
->Jennifer: Then why is he the one who signs all those posts that are
->making you so popular?
Hum, do these posts really qualify me as *sentient*?
->##oh, well, nope, I'm not going to comment on male
->##superiority there... I think it might be detrimental to my
health...
->Jennifer: Do I look that threatening? Or are you worried about that
->small crowd with the noose?
ME? WORRIED? Nahhh!
->##Oh! And I thought they *liked* me! You mean, when they talk about
->##tickling me, it is not a *joke*? OSHITOSHITOSHIT! (runs and hides
->##away)...
->Jennifer: In your bomb shelter?
Naah, I've currently got someone waiting at the door of the shelter...
she apparently didn't see me get out and head for the nearest black
hole...
->Cruiser: ::Bomb shelter? Can I test it for you?::
Sorry, too late...
->##Cruiser, I think you didn't train them young enough...you may have
->##to find a new *young* "owner" and start again... tsss!
->Jennifer: Don't say that! There are a lot of little kids in our
->neighbourhood. I don't need him to corrupt them.
Oh, he hasn't already? Jennifer, I hate being the one to tell you
this, but maybe you should watch him more carefully...
->Cruiser: ::Corrupt them? Me? Or should I say "moi"?
(Did you know,FiX, that some of my ancestors were French?)
Yes, I know, I've met them... you've mellowed out, you know? You're
just an unholy terror, while they... I can't really describe it, I
don't think language was made to convey such menace...
->##Maybe you could just admit it as a failure on your
->##part, and learn to live with it...
->Cruiser: ::What is failure? It's never happened to me...::
Failure is trying to get an e-mail adress and not succeeding...
->Cruiser: ::Do I drive you mad?::
->Jennifer: You do a good job of trying...
A least, *you*'ve got an excuse...
->Cruiser: ::But I wasn't trying.::
->Jennifer: That's what makes it so hard. (*sigh*)
<g>
->Cruiser: ::And do I bruise your ego?::
->Jennifer: No, I can't even have one. There wouldn't be room for
->another one in the house. Yours takes up too much space.::
ROTFWL! Uh, that is, you've got my heartfelt sympathy (sheepishly)...
->Cruiser (beaming): ::Thank-you, Lady...wait, you're not being
->sarcastic, are you?::
Cruiser, I think you should admit you will never be able to understand
sarcasm...
->##Ohh, I'm crushed! I've got to rethink all my views about life! A
->##woman who has *some* sense... <g>
->Jennifer: Some of us have managed to keep a little. Although living
->with men usually erodes it all quite quickly...(*smile*)
I'm crushed! How can you say something this cruel? Besides, we've got
a lot of senses: snese of smell (is that my dinner burning), sense of
aestethics (oh, what a beautiful fire), sense of timing (uh-oh, is
that a crowd I'm hearing coming my way? Better make myself scarce),
and several assorted senses: male intuition and all that...
->Cruiser: ::Why are you even depressed for two minutes? I'm full of
->boundless optimism!::
You haven't been teaching *my* students...
->Jennifer: And boundless energy. A dangerous combination...
Why? Energy is great! (thinks about Hiroschima)... well, maybe I can
see what you mean...
->Jennifer: Do I know that? (*innocent smile*)
Would I lie? Streching the truth a little, maybe, but *lie*?
->##I mean, did anyone in the NG think that I couldn't
->##escape any action taken against me, on the grounds of Insanity?)
->Jennifer: What kind of defense is that on a NG where we're all
insane?
Oh! I will have to refine my defense mechanisms, then...
->##Jennifer: Maybe I could just take a vacation. Anyone want toassume
->##responsibility of Cruiser for a few weeks--a year at most? How
->##about it, FiX? He could come visit you in France. All you'd have
->##to say is you're responsible for his actions...
->
->#Well, I can say I'm taking responsibility of his actions... it's
->#not as if I could legally be held responsible of anything...
->Jennifer: Didn't I mention the 150-page contract you'd have to sign
->first? Must have slipped my mind...
Oh, I can always sign contracts... as I said, I'm not responsible if I
fail enforcing them...
->But if you'd rather not sign the contract,I could just bind him to
->you magically and you'd be compelled to keep him out of trouble.
Hum, you *do* believe in setting impossible tasks, don't you?
->Hmm, it would have to be a short visit then. Anymore than a week and
->the strain would probably kill you...
Naah, I'm pretty resilient... physically, that is... mentally, there's
nothing to destroy, so I guess I can say I'm indestuctible...
->#you know, imagination is like a muscle: the more
->#you work it out, the more powerful it becomes...
->Jennifer: True. But my imagination gets w nice workout with all the
->writing I do. Imagining what Cruiser borders on worrying and such
->constant worry would soon lead me to dementia...
(mutters to himself "soon lead to dementia"? "Well, let her keep her
illusions, then...)
->Jennifer: Yes, I do read comics.
Which ones?
->##No, you don't seem to understand... it's AFTER that things start
->##being fun, when people find out what you've just done...
->Cruiser: ::I've never thought of it that way before...::
->Jennifer: Be cautious in taking that advice, Cruiser. Think of the
->trouble it has got FiX into...
It'snotmyfaultIdidn'tdoanythingI'mapoorvictim!
->C: ::Oh, I don't need to borrow trouble. I'd rather create it!::
Well, both go well together...
->##That's what you think... personnaly, I think humble people are the
->##most dangerous ones... like, they just say "I've got this little
->##habit", and you find out the *little habit* is setting fire on
->##everthing by watching your house burn...
->Jennifer: That might be a bad example among this group of
->pyrotechnics...
That's why I took this one...
->###Jennifer: Your kind of "excitement" is causing trouble.
->#
->##Is there any other kind?
->Jennifer: With Cruiser, no.
->###Cruiser: ::Isn't everyone's?::
->#
->##Just what I said... Great minds meeting, and similar lines...
->Jennifer: There's also another expression that comes to mind: "Fools
->seldom differ." (*smile*) But I assure you--I'm not implying
anything.
You wouldn't dare, Cruiser might want to make you pay for it... ::hey,
I behave for *at least 30 seconds* and that's how she reacts? I'm
going to have to remind her what's *real* trouble...::
->##People are always telling him he's cute.
->##*Before* or *after* he's played with their shoes, eaten their
->##breakfast and drooled all over them?
->Jennifer: Doesn't matter. They still think he's cute even when he's
->being bad.
I *won't* say anything about cute bad girls, there...
->Jennifer: I thought his name was "Nevyn" and yes, I do read
->Katharine Kerr. Who else would have a character named "no one"?
Yeah, you're right... I think it's the symptoms of age starting to
show... memory is supposed to be the first thing to go...
->Cruiser: ::How do you bandage a soul? Isn't a soul hard to get a
->hold of?::
No, it seems to me you've got quite a good hold on Jennifer's. Why
else would she let you get away with so much?
->##Oh, he hasn't trained you? (thinks of Marlo's and Jennifer's talks
->##with Firesong...) could have fooled me <g>....
->Jennifer: Fortunately, Cruiser doesn't give that kind of "training".
->As for what I know about it, you might say it a "natural instinct".
->(laugh)
Baaad girl! <wicked grin>
->Jennifer: Yes, there will probably always be a force of destruction
->in the universe...
I certainly hope so, things would get boring otherwise...
->###Jennifer: ::Oh, I wasn't thinking of that. I meant I would be
->###knocked down. It's happened before...
->#
->##Oh, it sounds like fun! You really have to let Cruiser cross the
->##pond, you know...
->Jennifer: You think being bruised is fun?
Depends on *who* I'm taking bruises from, and *why*... Hum, did I
really say that? Baad boy, FiX... <g>
->Cruiser: ::Do you want to be the one who doesn't catch on? I need to
->practice my sarcasm.::
Darn, foiled again!
->##OHGOD! Prescience! I'm developping another great gift!
->Jennifer: My goodness...how do you keep track of them all? (*smile*)
It's easy, I've got a computer... now, if I could just remember in
which file I listed them...
->Cruiser: Hey, Lady, you've got that strange smile on your face
->again...
Don't worry, Cruiser, it's just one of those little female mystery,
that males are not supposed to understrand... I believe myself it's a
wistful smile: "how I would like to be like him!"...
->Cruiser: ::Who needs muscles? Speed is much better. You run circles
->around your opponents, make them dizzy, watch them collapse and then
->laugh at them!::
Well, I've got two kyrees, several mages, an amazon, maybe even a
godess or two coming to greet me... I still think muscles would be
nice...
->##you know, so as to be able to sustain the press of my loving
fans...
-><g>
->Jennifer: Oh, would that be the ones coming toward you with the
noose?
No, it is the one coming with all those feathers... must be from their
bond-birds, they wouldn't use them to *tickle me*, now, would they?
->Cruiser: ::The whole world loves me!::
Ah, how I love humility!
->#
->Jennifer: Did finally find a mage to perform the shape-change? Or -
->are you tempting the ladies of the NG again?
Naah, it's just an example of mind over matter... I needed more feet
to put in my mouth, my brain obeyed and gave me a fitted body... by
now, I'm this little cute purple alien with 6 mouths and 37
tentacles...
->Cruiser: ::I'm a shaman? Now I'm discovering new gifts!::
Do you know of all the *nifty* things you can do with spirits?
->Jennifer: I can see they had no success teaching you
->humility...(*smile*) But I'm glad they didn't teach you seriousness.
->An education is more fun if you can laugh while learning.
Hey, my folks didn't teach me humilty, thay taught me *realism*! As
for having fun while learning, my parents always made sure I was
enjoying what I was learning, and took great pains to ensure that...
this is one thing I will never be able to repay them, the love of
knowledge...
->Jennifer: Reminds me of my dad...He would often laugh if my brother
->or I did something bad and mumble to him about things coming full
->circle. Apparently, my grandfather used to promise him that he would
->only understand the occasional frustration of raising children when
->he had kids himself. My dad says this is true with a funny smirk on
->his face. I'm sure he's thinking of a future when his kids have
->children...
My parents told me more than once that it wasn't fair, I didn't give
my children any chance of discovering new tricks to play on me, since
I invented them all before... fortunately, I think they may have
deluded themselves, there... I hope I'll someday will be able to watch
my children grow, and think "now I understand how my parents got grey
hairs"...
->#I still haven't had a student who
->#played cards, dices an was reading (and laughing) all at once...
->#maybe it's a case of waiting for a while...
->Jennifer: It's happen eventually. Or maybe you'll be really lucky
->and get someone who's even less serious than you used to be...
Now, that's stretching the limits of probabilities...
->#Oh, I just come into the shop, look around, and ask if I could
->#borrow this little thing in the corner so I can see what a computer
->#looks like myself...
->Jennifer: And they turn you down? Shocking...
Yeah, specially after I've been telling them how I liked seing *from
the inside* how things work...
->Jennifer (quietly so Cruiser won't hear): I appreciate your attempt.
->But no, you're not making any progress. You really have to be
->stubborn if you want to reason with Cruiser. I've been at it for
->years and all I can say is that I'm lucky not to have lost ground.
I think you should think about being a teacher. You've obviously got
the right training and frame of mind...
->#Hey, if I'm not allowed some tinywheeny little piece of fun from
->#time to time, I may become really depressed! I might even stop
->#posting here for awhile... WHO SAID "Thanks goodness"?
->Jennifer: Not me...(*big smile*) But you do offer your "tinywheeny"
->comments more often than from "time to time". Could be why they're
->fitting the noose for you...
Are you saying I should restrain myself? God, what a ghastly
concept...
->###Cruiser: ::I could protect you, if my Lady doesn't mind.::
->###
->###Jennifer: You're actually asking my permission to do something?
->###
->###Cruiser: Well, I'm supposed to be protecting you.
->###
->###Jennifer: I'm too shocked by the fact that you asked permission!
->###I'll have to think about it.
->#
->##PLEASE DO SO QUICKLY!
->Jennifer: What's the rush? (*smile*)
I'm ticklish and *ohgodtheretheyare* (runs)...
->#And it was such a nifty idea...
->Jennifer: You think so? You must share Cruiser's sense of
->"creativity".
I'll take that as a compliment...
->Cruiser: ::When can we come?::
I'm waiting for you to show up yesterday...
->##Oh, the secret services don't frighten me...
->Jennifer: That either means you're an agent or incredible
->optimistic...
No, it means why worry about being a little wet when you're about to
be thrown in the ocean...
->#Methinks milady is trying to get rid of me!
->Jennifer: Would I do that? I told you I was impartial...
Well, you see, Fluffy also said he was pure...
->#I really think you don't like me anymore (gasp,
->#gasp, sniff, POUT!)
->Jennifer (clapping): Very nice emoting. Whose performance is this?
(starts crying... refrains himself, since it's such a *womanly* thing
to do... looks at the ghastly wounds in his poor little frail ego)...
I won't comment on such insensitive words!
->Cruiser: My Lady is very hard to convince...(*canine pout*)
Yeah, I saw... crushed 3 times in one post, no wonder I feel a little
bruised... <male rasping sob>
-> Jennifer of White Shadow
-> Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
FiX, who hopes the post is at least a little shorter now...
Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask
themselves questions like "What is my purpose in life?" very quickly lacked both.
-- (Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times)
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
Jennifer and Cruiser wrote:
->Jennifer: I know. But I was too curious about the answer to resist!
->|
->||what's the difference between a male and female pout?
->|
->|Well, see, it goes like this: a male pout is something which
conveys
->|poorely conceeled power and menace,
->Jennifer: Does it bring on bad spelling too? (*smile*)
Hey, I've got this neat excuse, you know? I'm french...
->|What I don't understand is why instead of falling into my arms they
->|start giggling uncontrolably...
->Jennifer (innocently): Laughing gas?
Surely!
->||Jennifer: Now you two are working on the "suffering genius" or the
->||"no one understands me" ploy?
->|
->|It's not work if it's fun...
->Cruiser: ::This is fun. Two of us can drive her crazy twice as
->quickly!
->*toothy grin*::
Oh, I only count as your equal? I'm disapointed...
->|
->||Cruiser: ::Who needs to work at it? It's as natural for me as
->||breathing...(*toothy grin*) Besides, I'm a canine. You're not
->||supposed to understand me!::
->|
->|NONONO! You're a *male*, thus women are not supposed to understand
->|you...
->Cruiser: ::I am male. But I'm also CANINE! That means being superior
->to all humans!::
Well, I won't take offense since I've now got past that stage...
->|males are these wonderful and aloft creatures women are
->|admiring from a distance, hoping to be noticed by them...
->Jennifer: I think you have the angle confused. You would be under
->the glass and the women would be studying you...
Told you I was fascinating!
->|(ooh, *seven* tentacles in the mouth...)
->Cruiser: ::That's good because they're behind you...Just kidding! Is
->my second attempt at sarcasm any better?::
(Wisely refrains from commenting...)
->||Cruiser: ::Bomb shelter? Can I test it for you?::
->|
->|Sorry, too late...
->Cruiser: ::Can I destroy it for you?::
Be my guest...
->||Cruiser: ::Corrupt them? Me? Or should I say "moi"?
->|(Did you know,FiX, that some of my ancestors were French?)
->|
->|Yes, I know, I've met them...
->Cruiser: ::Really? Where?::
Two years ago in the Pyrennees... I was just walking in these *really
beautiful* mountains, and suddenly there come two four-feet mountains,
barking and in a playful mood... it was real fun, once my heart found
its way into my chest again... you know, the "bergiers des pyrennées"
(I don't know their english name) were used to protect cattle... no
bear would go near one of them, and two can repel a whole wolf pack's
attack...
->Jennifer: And how did you survive? Or was this what drove you insane
->to begin with?
As if I needed an excuse for being nuts... it's an innate hability...
->C: I can be an unspeakable menace. But unspeakable menaces
->aren't cute. So I can pretend I'm just an unholy terror in order to
->get attention and food...::
Hum, if it's food you're looking for, I feel I must point out that
*hungry* unspeakable menaces get *huge* quantities of food...
->Jennifer: Besides, you met them in a group, FiX. They're always
->_much_ worse in groups.
Uh, I knew three was a crowd, but does being two really qualify as a
group?
->|Failure is trying to get an e-mail adress and not succeeding...
->Cruiser: ::I haven't given up yet.::
->Jennifer: That's why he never fails. He never gives up.
I *knew* I had found a kindred soul...
->||Cruiser: ::And do I bruise your ego?::
->|
->||Jennifer: No, I can't even have one. There wouldn't be room for
->||another one in the house. Yours takes up too much space.
->|
->|ROTFWL! Uh, that is, you've got my heartfelt sympathy
(sheepishly)...
->Jennifer: And in what language do those initials stand for
->"heartfelt sympathy"?
Uh, swahili? (looks in his dictionnary)... yes, definitly swahili!
->Jennifer (*sigh*): Never tell him he'll never be able to do
->something. It's the surest way of getting him to keep doing it. Of
->course this work for everything except telling him that he'll never
->be good. He doesn't care about that.
What you have to do is make him belive being good is *fun*... of
course, this will not work for long, if at all...
->|I'm crushed! How can you say something this cruel?
->Jennifer: It comes with practice...(*smile*)
BUTBUTBUT I *thought* it was Cruiser who got all the practise?
->|Besides, we've got a lot of senses: snese of smell (is that my
dinner burning),
->Cruiser: ::I've got a great sense of smell. What's for dinner and
->can I steal it?::
fondue, and no you can't steal it, it's full of alcohol...
->|sense of aestethics (oh, what a beautiful fire),
->Jennifer: The one the pyrotechnics set to your house?
What made you think I need any other pirotechnic's help?
->|sense of timing (uh-oh, is that a crowd I'm hearing coming my way?
->|Better make myself scarce),
->Jennifer: I don't think you have this one. If you did, you would
->have run first and talked later.
No, my sense of timing works fine... it's not really useful, since it
usually goes "uh-oh, too late", but it works fine...
->|and several assorted senses: male intuition and all that...
->Jennifer: You must have intuition. You've managed to stay alive this
->long...But let me add a few to your list. A sense of histrionics
->(you proved that with your performance above), a sense of tragedy
->(why else would you keep making such comments that will certainly
->lead to a tragic end?),
Tragic ends are *fun*!... as long as it isn't mine, of course... stil,
I'm young, fast, cunning, so I'm not about to reach my end soon (I
hope so, anyway)...
->a sense of fatality (you're a teacher),
No, that's actually not a sense, more like a shortage of good sense...
->a passing sense of nihilism (you like to reject the current roles
->for men and women), a sense of madness (numerous examples) and most
->importantly, a sense of humour (which this whole dialogue proves!).
Yes, Gogol?
Gogol: I'VE GOT NO SENSE OF HUMOUR! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HUMOUR IS! I'
FiX: SHUT UP! She was paying us a *compliment*, you dimwit!
Gogol: (sounds of shuffling tentacles)... I've got a great sense of
humour, I'm the most humourous guy on earth! I'm a comedian, I
FiX: Uh, Gogol, a comedian is... no, wait, that's right, you're a
comedian...
Jennifer, I've got this great idea! How would you feel about a trade?
I take Cruiser in, you take Gogol in your head...
->Have I missed any?
Yes, a good musical sense... I feel Cruiser's barks are real music
<g>...
->|You haven't been teaching *my* students...
->Jennifer: They can't be that bad if they only depress you for two
->minutes.
Uh, make that I'll trade Cruiser for Gogol and my students...
->Cruiser: ::Want me to scare them for you?::
You wouldn't, Gogol seems mature compared to them...
->Jennifer: Hey, that could be your defense. No mind...
->Cruiser: ::Humans need illusions. Like the illusion of
superiority!::
No, Cruiser, that would be a desillusion... wow, I've actually made a
pun!
->||Jennifer: Yes, I do read comics.
->|
->|Which ones?
->Jennifer: X-Men, Archie comics, The Sandman, Spider-man...those are
->all that come to mind right now.
Surely you mean "spider-clone"? As for Sandman, it will unfortunately
be void in two weeks... ever tried reading Bone, or The Books of
Magic? If you haven't, you should try, specially the books of magic
#16 to 20... great story, and great lines: "you know, you've got this
completely backwards... *I*'m the girlfiend, *I*'m supposed to tease
you mercilessly"...
->|It'snotmyfaultIdidn'tdoanythingI'mapoorvictim!
->Jennifer: Okay, so it's not FiX's fault. Which personality will you
->blame it on?
Gogol, of course, he's there for this kind of trouble...
->||Cruiser: ::How do you bandage a soul? Isn't a soul hard to get a
->||hold of?::
->|
->|No, it seems to me you've got quite a good hold on Jennifer's. Why
->|else would she let you get away with so much?
->Jennifer: A question I ask myself everyday...(*rueful smile*)
->Cruiser: ::Because she loves me and because I'm cute!::
You know, Cruiser, being cute is not *all* it's rumored to be... ask
Fluffy, for example...
->||Jennifer: Yes, there will probably always be a force of
->>destruction in the universe...
->|
->|I certainly hope so, things would get boring otherwise...
->Cruiser: ::Think I could claim a divine purpose?::
Oh yeah, what a great way to introduce yourself: ::hello, I'm Cruiser,
I'm the god's answer to every bored soul:: now, why didn't think of
that myself?
->||Jennifer: You think being bruised is fun?
->|
->|Depends on *who* I'm taking bruises from, and *why*...
->Jennifer: And *where*...(*wicked smile*)
S***, forgot this one! Well, lady, I have to bow down before your
superior skill...
->Cruiser: ::Does that mean I can practice my sarcasm on you? Look-::
->Jennifer: Enough, Cruiser. You've done that enough for one post.
->Besdides, poor FiX's nerves are frayed enough from his students.
Frayed, my nerves? Naaah! They've shut themselves down the first day I
had to tech them...
->(See, I can be sympathetic) At least wait until next time. (Sort of
->*smile*)
Gotta buy myself a dictionnary... I didn't know "wait a moment, let
him suffer longer" was a sympathetic line...
->Jennifer: I hope you're not pretending like Cruiser is with that
->book. He's still holding out for the highest bid.
Cruiser, did you know I've got a very good imlagination? If you send
me the book, I will teach you new ways of having fun...
->|
->||Cruiser: Hey, Lady, you've got that strange smile on your face
->||again...
->|
->|Don't worry, Cruiser, it's just one of those little female mystery,
->|that males are not supposed to understrand... I believe myself it's
->|a wistful smile: "how I would like to be like him!"...
->Cruiser: ::I'm going to have to answer...My Lady's laughing too
->hard...does that mean you're wrong?::
No, it's womens' way of covering their embarrassment...
->|Well, I've got two kyrees, several mages, an amazon, maybe even a
->|godess or two coming to greet me... I still think muscles would be
->|nice...
->Cruiser: ::Nope. Speed is still better.::
->Jennifer: It's kept you alive so far, hasn't it?
Well, yes, but I'm a scientist, you know? I'm always ready for a new
experiment... muscles, what a *neat* concept...
->Jennifer: I don't think they have a mating-circle in mind...Perhaps
->thinking of the ol' "tar-and-feather" method...
->Jennifer: Now you're contradicting yourself. You said you didn't
->have one. How will you ever put up a credible defense if you can't
->be consistent? (*smile*)
Hey, they do say memory's the first thing to go...
->|Hey, my folks didn't teach me humilty, thay taught me *realism*!
->Jennifer: What happened to it?
I went into teaching... does that answer your question?
->|My parents told me more than once that it wasn't fair, I didn't
->|give my children any chance of discovering new tricks to play on
->me, since I invented them all before...
->Jennifer: By yourself or did you have a sibling? My parents always
->said my brother and I were twice as bad because what one of us
->didn't think of, the other did.
Well, the rumor in my familly is that I taught my elder brother all
the tricks he knew... of course, I kept some for my personnal use...
->||#Oh, I just come into the shop, look around, and ask if I could
->||#borrow this little thing in the corner so I can see what a
computer
->||#looks like myself...
->|
->||Jennifer: And they turn you down? Shocking...
->|
->|Yeah, specially after I've been telling them how I liked seing
->|*from the inside* how things work...
->Jennifer: Did you happen also say: "...but I'm not quite sure how to
->put things back together?"
No, that would be lying! In fact, since I probably know better than
them how to make a computer (I've been updating the one I'm writing on
for seven years, and it's my third one...), it would probably work
better after I'd put my hands inside the beast... I usually get to
rumage down the stocks when I'm looking for a new part ot my computer,
since I know better than them what I want, and why *that* part is
better than *this* one... <sigh> I don't know if it's the same in
Canada, but there computer vendors aren't very competent...
->|I think you should think about being a teacher. You've obviously
->|got the right training and frame of mind...
->Jennifer: I've been considering it since before my family adopted
->Cruiser. But Cruiser is certainly good preparation for it.
I should think so... he is the one being I would trust to make people
understand that being in a total state of panick can actually be
fun...
->|
->|Are you saying I should restrain myself? God, what a ghastly
->|concept...
->Jennifer: (Oh you left this one wide open) I believe they have a
->kind of restraint in mind for you and it would be ghastly...
David? Meth? The lady scores a BIIG one there...
->||Jennifer: What's the rush? (*smile*)
->|
->|I'm ticklish and *ohgodtheretheyare* (runs)...
->Jennifer: Ever consider trying out for the Olympics? With all the
->practice you've been getting at running, you would make an excellent
->sprinter.
I thought drugs where prohibited? This NG sure is addictive...
->||Cruiser: ::When can we come?::
->|
->|I'm waiting for you to show up yesterday...
->Cruiser: ::You want us to time-travel?::
Don't tell me you *can't*! Remember, nothing is impossible, you just
haven't tried it yet... (uh-oh, sorry, Jennifer, I didn't mean to give
him ideas... I would have *sold* them...)
->Jennifer: Sounds like you believe in a form of carpe diem. *Seize
->the moment until they catch me!*
well, you see, presently I'm a little shy of the "seizing" stuff...
It's not the seizing per see, you know, just what happens after...
->Jennifer: So you won't admit which personality is at fault?
AT FAULT? No personnality of mine will ever believe he is at fault,
you know? At fault, what a strange notion...
->Jennifer: The ego is where you want the bruising? I had something
->else in mind...Oh well, if it's what you want...(*wicked smile*)
<shuffling of tentacle><cheeks becoming green> <lttle strangled voice>
do I really have to comment about that one? BBBAAAADD GIRL! Hey,
Tanya, come here and learn!
->Cruiser: ::Hmm, he really sounds he's in bad shape. Maybe I should
->protect him. Or better yet, I could drool on him. That's guaranteed
to make anyone feel better!::
I'm still waiting for you to show up... htanks for the thought,
though!
-> Jennifer of White Shadow
Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
FiX, the trouble magnet
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
"Froggies"? I'll have you know that I never ate fried frog legs...
Snails, on the other hand... you may call me "Snaily"
jen...@mi.net
#Jennifer and Cruiser wrote:
#
##Jennifer: I know. But I was too curious about the answer to resist!
##|
##||what's the difference between a male and female pout?
##|
##|Well, see, it goes like this: a male pout is something which
#conveys
##|poorely conceeled power and menace,
#
##Jennifer: Does it bring on bad spelling too? (*smile*)
#
#Hey, I've got this neat excuse, you know? I'm french...
Jennifer: So? A lot of people who speak English misspell too.
#
##|What I don't understand is why instead of falling into my arms they
##|start giggling uncontrolably...
#
##Jennifer (innocently): Laughing gas?
#
#Surely!
#
##||Jennifer: Now you two are working on the "suffering genius" or the
##||"no one understands me" ploy?
##|
##|It's not work if it's fun...
#
##Cruiser: ::This is fun. Two of us can drive her crazy twice as
##quickly!
##*toothy grin*::
#
#Oh, I only count as your equal? I'm disapointed...
Cruiser: ::Nope. No one is my equal--::
Jennifer (quietly): Thank goodness...
Cruiser: ::--but you can be my co-conspirator. *toothy grin*::
#
##|
##||Cruiser: ::Who needs to work at it? It's as natural for me as
##||breathing...(*toothy grin*) Besides, I'm a canine. You're not
##||supposed to understand me!::
##|
##|NONONO! You're a *male*, thus women are not supposed to understand
##|you...
#
##Cruiser: ::I am male. But I'm also CANINE! That means being superior
##to all humans!::
#
#Well, I won't take offense since I've now got past that stage...
Jennifer: That's good. When dealing with Cruiser, you may to learn not
to
take offense easily.
Cruiser: ::I give offense? How? I'm just being honesty...::
Jennifer: There's honesty and then there's Cruiser's honesty...
#
##|males are these wonderful and aloft creatures women are
##|admiring from a distance, hoping to be noticed by them...
#
##Jennifer: I think you have the angle confused. You would be under
##the glass and the women would be studying you...
#
#Told you I was fascinating!
Jennifer: You'd like to be a specimen?
#
##|(ooh, *seven* tentacles in the mouth...)
#
##Cruiser: ::That's good because they're behind you...Just kidding! Is
##my second attempt at sarcasm any better?::
#
#(Wisely refrains from commenting...)
Jennifer: Good idea. It's safer that way.
Cruiser: ::Does that mean I'm getting better? I should keep
practicing!::
#
##||Cruiser: ::Bomb shelter? Can I test it for you?::
##|
##|Sorry, too late...
#
##Cruiser: ::Can I destroy it for you?::
#
#Be my guest...
Cruiser (gleefully): Thanks!
Jennifer: I hope that shelter is in an isolated area...
#
##||Cruiser: ::Corrupt them? Me? Or should I say "moi"?
##|(Did you know,FiX, that some of my ancestors were French?)
##|
##|Yes, I know, I've met them...
#
##Cruiser: ::Really? Where?::
#
#Two years ago in the Pyrennees... I was just walking in these *really
#beautiful* mountains, and suddenly there come two four-feet
mountains,
Jennifer (looking at Cruiser): I can tell you have met some of his
distant
relatives.
#barking and in a playful mood...
Jennifer: Uh oh...playful usually means excited. How many broken bones
did
you come away with?
#it was real fun, once my heart found its way into my chest again...
Jennifer: Now this explain a few things. You're a thrill-seeker.
That's why
you make some of your comments...
#you know, the "bergiers des pyrennées" (I don't know their english
name)
Jennifer: You mean "berger", as in "shepherd"?
#were used to protect cattle... no bear would go near one of them,
Jennifer: No wonder. Bears are smart animals.
#and two can repel a whole wolf pack's attack...
Jennifer: I'm not surprised. Although I've usually heard of Cruiser's
relatives guarding sheep, not cattle.
Cruiser: ::And humans. Don't forget humans!::
#
##Jennifer: And how did you survive? Or was this what drove you insane
##to begin with?
#
#As if I needed an excuse for being nuts... it's an innate hability...
Jennifer: Then you certainly can't plead it as a defense. You're going
to
have to come up with something else.
#
##C: I can be an unspeakable menace. But unspeakable menaces
##aren't cute. So I can pretend I'm just an unholy terror in order to
##get attention and food...::
#
#Hum, if it's food you're looking for, I feel I must point out that
#*hungry* unspeakable menaces get *huge* quantities of food...
Jennifer: Don't tell him that!
Cruiser: ::Too late...*toothy grin* I'm going to have to think about
this!::
#
##Jennifer: Besides, you met them in a group, FiX. They're always
##_much_ worse in groups.
#
#Uh, I knew three was a crowd, but does being two really qualify as a
#group?
Jennifer: One Great Pyrenees qualifies as a group...
#
##|Failure is trying to get an e-mail adress and not succeeding...
#
##Cruiser: ::I haven't given up yet.::
#
##Jennifer: That's why he never fails. He never gives up.
#
#I *knew* I had found a kindred soul...
Jennifer: Sometimes not giving up can be detrimental to your health.
Your
throngs of "loving fans" would be a good example.
#
##||Cruiser: ::And do I bruise your ego?::
##|
##||Jennifer: No, I can't even have one. There wouldn't be room for
##||another one in the house. Yours takes up too much space.
##|
##|ROTFWL! Uh, that is, you've got my heartfelt sympathy
#(sheepishly)...
#
##Jennifer: And in what language do those initials stand for
##"heartfelt sympathy"?
#
#Uh, swahili? (looks in his dictionnary)... yes, definitly swahili!
Jennifer: Really? You would have to choose a language I don't
speak...I
suppose it just means I'll have to take you at your word. Unless you
have a
swahili expert on the NG.
##Jennifer (*sigh*): Never tell him he'll never be able to do
##something. It's the surest way of getting him to keep doing it. Of
##course this works for everything except telling him that he'll never
##be good. He doesn't care about that.
#
#What you have to do is make him belive being good is *fun*... of
#course, this will not work for long, if at all...
Jennifer (weary sigh): Tried that. It worked so long as we fed him
constantly. In fact, when he was a puppy and we called him "good boy",
he
automatically associated those words with "goodie" and expected a
treat.
Needles to say, we couldn't keep this up very long.
#
##|I'm crushed! How can you say something this cruel?
#
##Jennifer: It comes with practice...(*smile*)
#
#BUTBUTBUT I *thought* it was Cruiser who got all the practise?
Jennifer: Cruiser's practicing sarcasm. I suppose I'm practicing being
cruel. Cruiser foten tells me I'm mean. Usually when I won't let him
do
something he wants to do. But my saying something is just a token
gesture of
defiance. He usually does what he wants anyway.
Cruiser: ::But at least I ask first!::
Jennifer: But it doesn't matter what I say!
Cruiser: ::But at least I ask. I wouldn't want you to feel left out.::
#
##|Besides, we've got a lot of senses: snese of smell (is that my
#dinner burning),
#
##Cruiser: ::I've got a great sense of smell. What's for dinner and
##can I steal it?::
#
#fondue, and no you can't steal it, it's full of alcohol...
Jennifer: Funny coincidence. I believe there was someone on the Ng
talking
about making you into fondue...
Cruiser: ::Yummy! What kind?::
#
##|sense of aestethics (oh, what a beautiful fire),
#
##Jennifer: The one the pyrotechnics set to your house?
#
#What made you think I need any other pirotechnic's help?
Jennifer: Just the thought that if you wanted to claim your house
insurance,
it would be better to tell the insurance company someone else did it.
#
##|sense of timing (uh-oh, is that a crowd I'm hearing coming my way?
##|Better make myself scarce),
#
##Jennifer: I don't think you have this one. If you did, you would
##have run first and talked later.
#
#No, my sense of timing works fine... it's not really useful, since it
#usually goes "uh-oh, too late", but it works fine...
Jennifer: I see. You have a sense of timing. You just don't listen to
it.
Kind of like your common sense? (*smile*)
#
##|and several assorted senses: male intuition and all that...
#
##Jennifer: You must have intuition. You've managed to stay alive this
##long...But let me add a few to your list. A sense of histrionics
##(you proved that with your performance above), a sense of tragedy
##(why else would you keep making such comments that will certainly
##lead to a tragic end?),
#
#Tragic ends are *fun*!... as long as it isn't mine, of course...
stil,
#I'm young, fast, cunning, so I'm not about to reach my end soon (I
#hope so, anyway)...
Jennifer: Not the end of a noose anyway. I believe the ladies have
given up
on that idea. I think turning you into fondue is the latest plan.
#
##a sense of fatality (you're a teacher),
#
#No, that's actually not a sense, more like a shortage of good
sense...
Jennifer: And they let you teach impressionable students....Shocking!
(*smile*)
#
##a passing sense of nihilism (you like to reject the current roles
##for men and women), a sense of madness (numerous examples) and most
##importantly, a sense of humour (which this whole dialogue proves!).
#
#Yes, Gogol?
#Gogol: I'VE GOT NO SENSE OF HUMOUR! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HUMOUR IS! I'
Jennifer: Gogol's grammar is much better this time. Have you been
teaching him?
#FiX: SHUT UP! She was paying us a *compliment*, you dimwit!
Jennifer: Am I not supposed to do that?
#Gogol: (sounds of shuffling tentacles)... I've got a great sense of
#humour, I'm the most humourous guy on earth! I'm a comedian, I
#FiX: Uh, Gogol, a comedian is... no, wait, that's right, you're a
#comedian...
Jennifer: And FiX is humble...sure...
#
#Jennifer, I've got this great idea! How would you feel about a trade?
#I take Cruiser in, you take Gogol in your head...
Jennifer: No thanks. Cruiser has his own body. He may talk in my head,
but
at least we're separate.
#
##Have I missed any?
#
#Yes, a good musical sense... I feel Cruiser's barks are real music
#<g#...
Cruiser: ::A fan! I've got a fan! Did you hear my relatives sing?::
Jennifer: Don't get too excited, Cruiser. Ask first if he's
tonedeaf...But
actually, Cruiser does sing.
Cruiser: ::On my own and accompanying a clarinet!::
#
##|You haven't been teaching *my* students...
#
##Jennifer: They can't be that bad if they only depress you for two
##minutes.
#
#Uh, make that I'll trade Cruiser for Gogol and my students...
Jennifer: As hard as it is for me to say this--
Cruiser: ::Why's it hard? Who'd want to give me up?::
Jennifer: ...I have to decline your generous offer. With Cruiser, I
know
what I'm up againt. It may be a losing battle, but I still intend to
fight it.
#
##Cruiser: ::Want me to scare them for you?::
#
#You wouldn't, Gogol seems mature compared to them...
Cruiser: ::Then they'd love me. Children love me!::
##Jennifer: Hey, that could be your defense. No mind...
#
##Cruiser: ::Humans need illusions. Like the illusion of
#superiority!::
#
#No, Cruiser, that would be a desillusion... wow, I've actually made a
#pun!
Jennifer: It's fun, isn't it?
Cruiser: ::Oh, something new for me to learn!::
#
##||Jennifer: Yes, I do read comics.
##|
##|Which ones?
#
##Jennifer: X-Men, Archie comics, The Sandman, Spider-man...those are
##all that come to mind right now.
#
#Surely you mean "spider-clone"? As for Sandman, it will unfortunately
#be void in two weeks... ever tried reading Bone, or The Books of
#Magic?
Jennifer: No, I haven't tried them. I've never heard of Bone.
#If you haven't, you should try, specially the books of magic
##16 to 20... great story, and great lines: "you know, you've got this
#completely backwards... *I*'m the girlfiend, *I*'m supposed to tease
#you mercilessly"...
Jennifer (smiling): And what can I say to that?
#
##|It'snotmyfaultIdidn'tdoanythingI'mapoorvictim!
#
##Jennifer: Okay, so it's not FiX's fault. Which personality will you
##blame it on?
#
#Gogol, of course, he's there for this kind of trouble...
Jennifer: The "scapegoat" personality. That's not fair. You'll crush
his
young mind.
#
##||Cruiser: ::How do you bandage a soul? Isn't a soul hard to get a
##||hold of?::
##|
##|No, it seems to me you've got quite a good hold on Jennifer's. Why
##|else would she let you get away with so much?
#
##Jennifer: A question I ask myself everyday...(*rueful smile*)
#
##Cruiser: ::Because she loves me and because I'm cute!::
#
#You know, Cruiser, being cute is not *all* it's rumored to be... ask
#Fluffy, for example...
Cruiser: ::He ran out of "cute points". I have a lifetime supply!::
#
##||Jennifer: Yes, there will probably always be a force of
###destruction in the universe...
##|
##|I certainly hope so, things would get boring otherwise...
#
##Cruiser: ::Think I could claim a divine purpose?::
#
#Oh yeah, what a great way to introduce yourself: ::hello, I'm
Cruiser,
#I'm the god's answer to every bored soul:: now, why didn't think of
#that myself?
Jennifer: Do you have to say things like that? Now you've given him a
new
purpose...
Cruiser: ::Thanks, FiX. How about--"Cruiser, Divine Force of
Destruction!"?::
#
##||Jennifer: You think being bruised is fun?
##|
##|Depends on *who* I'm taking bruises from, and *why*...
#
##Jennifer: And *where*...(*wicked smile*)
#
#S***, forgot this one! Well, lady, I have to bow down before your
#superior skill...
Cruiser: ::Wouldn't that hurt depending on where you're bruised?::
Jennifer: Oh great...we're corrupting Cruiser.
Cruiser: ::No you're not. I'm just a quick learner.::
##Cruiser: ::Does that mean I can practice my sarcasm on you? Look-::
#
##Jennifer: Enough, Cruiser. You've done that enough for one post.
##Besdides, poor FiX's nerves are frayed enough from his students.
#
#Frayed, my nerves? Naaah! They've shut themselves down the first day
I
#had to tech them...
Jennifer: Then where does all that excess panic go? Is your hair
falling out?
#
##(See, I can be sympathetic) At least wait until next time. (Sort of
##*smile*)
#
#Gotta buy myself a dictionnary... I didn't know "wait a moment, let
#him suffer longer" was a sympathetic line...
Jennifer: It's all in the interpretation. (*smile*)
#
##Jennifer: I hope you're not pretending like Cruiser is with that
##book. He's still holding out for the highest bid.
#
##Cruiser, did you know I've got a very good imlagination? If you send
#me the book, I will teach you new ways of having fun...
Cruiser: ::Actually, there are a lot of ways mentioned in that book.
Kind of
strange and twisted but...::
Jennifer: Enough, Cruiser!
Cruiser: ::See how mean my Lady can be sometimes? *canine pout*::
##|
##||Cruiser: Hey, Lady, you've got that strange smile on your face
##||again...
##|
##|Don't worry, Cruiser, it's just one of those little female mystery,
##|that males are not supposed to understrand... I believe myself it's
##|a wistful smile: "how I would like to be like him!"...
#
##Cruiser: ::I'm going to have to answer...My Lady's laughing too
##hard...does that mean you're wrong?::
#
#No, it's womens' way of covering their embarrassment...
Jennifer: And selective interpretation is a man's way of salving a
bruised
ego.... (*smile*)
#
##|Well, I've got two kyrees, several mages, an amazon, maybe even a
##|godess or two coming to greet me... I still think muscles would be
##|nice...
#
##Cruiser: ::Nope. Speed is still better.::
#
##Jennifer: It's kept you alive so far, hasn't it?
#
#Well, yes, but I'm a scientist, you know? I'm always ready for a new
#experiment...
Jennifer: Then why don't you let the ladies catch you? All in the
spirit of
experimentation after all!
##Jennifer: I don't think they have a mating-circle in mind...Perhaps
##thinking of the ol' "tar-and-feather" method...
#
##Jennifer: Now you're contradicting yourself. You said you didn't
##have one. How will you ever put up a credible defense if you can't
##be consistent? (*smile*)
#
#Hey, they do say memory's the first thing to go...
Jennifer: It must be. That's the third time you've repeated that line.
#
##|Hey, my folks didn't teach me humilty, thay taught me *realism*!
#
##Jennifer: What happened to it?
#
#I went into teaching... does that answer your question?
Jennifer: Yes. You gave up on it, hmm?
#
##|My parents told me more than once that it wasn't fair, I didn't
##|give my children any chance of discovering new tricks to play on
##me, since I invented them all before...
#
##Jennifer: By yourself or did you have a sibling? My parents always
##said my brother and I were twice as bad because what one of us
##didn't think of, the other did.
#
#Well, the rumor in my familly is that I taught my elder brother all
#the tricks he knew... of course, I kept some for my personnal use...
Jennifer: Of course. Besides, you were being generous to share with
your
older brother. I'm sure your parents appreciated it very much.
#
##||#Oh, I just come into the shop, look around, and ask if I could
##||#borrow this little thing in the corner so I can see what a
#computer
##||#looks like myself...
##|
##||Jennifer: And they turn you down? Shocking...
##|
##|Yeah, specially after I've been telling them how I liked seing
##|*from the inside* how things work...
#
##Jennifer: Did you happen also say: "...but I'm not quite sure how to
##put things back together?"
#
#No, that would be lying! In fact, since I probably know better than
#them how to make a computer (I've been updating the one I'm writing
on
#for seven years, and it's my third one...), it would probably work
#better after I'd put my hands inside the beast... I usually get to
#rumage down the stocks when I'm looking for a new part ot my
computer,
#since I know better than them what I want, and why *that* part is
#better than *this* one... <sigh# I don't know if it's the same in
#Canada, but there computer vendors aren't very competent...
Jennifer: I can only speak from personal experience. But when my
family
bought a new computer, the dealer tried to sell us things we didn't
need and
weren't looking for. I don't think he'd been on the job very long. He
threw
around all these complex terms and he seemed to have no idea what they
meant. I'm not very knowledgeable about computers, but I could tell
that he
certainly wasn't either. However, on the other hands, the store we
went to
after that was run by a man who was very knowledgeable and quite
competent.
Perhaps it just depends on where you go.
#
##|I think you should think about being a teacher. You've obviously
##|got the right training and frame of mind...
#
##Jennifer: I've been considering it since before my family adopted
##Cruiser. But Cruiser is certainly good preparation for it.
#
#I should think so... he is the one being I would trust to make people
#understand that being in a total state of panick can actually be
#fun...
Cruiser: ::Thank-you!::
Jennifer (sigh): Only you would take that as a compliment.
Cruiser: ::I'm glad someone recognizes my talent.::
#
##|
##|Are you saying I should restrain myself? God, what a ghastly
##|concept...
#
##Jennifer: (Oh you left this one wide open) I believe they have a
##kind of restraint in mind for you and it would be ghastly...
#
#David? Meth? The lady scores a BIIG one there...
Jennifer: Oh, are we playing for points? I think you deserve a few
yourself.
#
##||Jennifer: What's the rush? (*smile*)
##|
##|I'm ticklish and *ohgodtheretheyare* (runs)...
#
##Jennifer: Ever consider trying out for the Olympics? With all the
##practice you've been getting at running, you would make an excellent
##sprinter.
#
#I thought drugs where prohibited? This NG sure is addictive...
Jennifer: Does it count as a drug? "Drug--a mind-altering substance".
I
guess it does.
#
##||Cruiser: ::When can we come?::
##|
##|I'm waiting for you to show up yesterday...
#
##Cruiser: ::You want us to time-travel?::
#
#Don't tell me you *can't*! Remember, nothing is impossible, you just
#haven't tried it yet...
Cruiser: ::What a good idea. It should be possible on the star-paths.
Oh
boy! Now I could wreak havoc all through time instead of just in the
present!::
#(uh-oh, sorry, Jennifer, I didn't mean to give him ideas...
Jennifer: When the great moments in history are disrupted by a white
bear of
a dog, we'll know who to blame.
#I would have *sold* them...)
Cruiser: ::Too bad. You might have exchanged them for a look at the
book.::
#
##Jennifer: Sounds like you believe in a form of carpe diem. *Seize
##the moment until they catch me!*
#
#well, you see, presently I'm a little shy of the "seizing" stuff...
#It's not the seizing per see, you know, just what happens after...
Jennifer: You mean it's all in where you put your hands? (*wicked
smile*)
#
##Jennifer: So you won't admit which personality is at fault?
#
#AT FAULT? No personnality of mine will ever believe he is at fault,
#you know? At fault, what a strange notion...
Jennifer: I thought you said above that Gogol was responsible for all
the
trouble. Perhaps I'm looking at this the wrong way. One of your
persoanlity's may be responsible, but none of them will ever admit
it...
#
##Jennifer: The ego is where you want the bruising? I had something
##else in mind...Oh well, if it's what you want...(*wicked smile*)
#
#<shuffling of tentacle#<cheeks becoming green# <lttle strangled
voice#
#do I really have to comment about that one?
Jennifer: Not if you don't want to...But I think the temptation is too
great.
#BBBAAAADD GIRL! Hey, Tanya, come here and learn!
Jennifer: I haven't started teaching yet and I'm not sure I'd want to
teach
that!
#
##Cruiser: ::Hmm, he really sounds he's in bad shape. Maybe I should
##protect him. Or better yet, I could drool on him. That's guaranteed
#to make anyone feel better!::
#
#I'm still waiting for you to show up... htanks for the thought,
#though!
Jennifer: With the time-travelling idea you've given him, he may never
show up.
#
#FiX, the trouble magnet
Jennifer: Watch out for flying pieces of iron.
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
->##Jennifer: Does it bring on bad spelling too? (*smile*)
->#
->#Hey, I've got this neat excuse, you know? I'm french...
->Jennifer: So? A lot of people who speak English misspell too.
Well, I'm not used to misspelling, at least in French... I mean, I
always whine and gripe at my students because "when you'll look for a
job, the first thing they will look for is misspellings", so I've got
to be faultless on that score. I try to use spotless english, but
sometimes I'm laughing so hard I don't really see what I write, and
sometimes I just forget either the term I wanted to use, or the
correct spelling...
->#Oh, I only count as your equal? I'm disapointed...
->Cruiser: ::Nope. No one is my equal--::
Do you mean I'm your superior? :-)
->Jennifer (quietly): Thank goodness...
Why? You know, Jennifer, I think you have to refine your sense of
fun... come here, Cruiser, we'll think of some things to help her
understand what *real fun* is... :-)
->Cruiser: ::--but you can be my co-conspirator. *toothy grin*::
Wow! I hadn't even seen this when I wrote the previous sentence...
mind-sharing, maybe?
->##Cruiser: ::I am male. But I'm also CANINE! That means being
->##superior to all humans!::
->#Well, I won't take offense since I've now got past that stage...
->Jennifer: That's good. When dealing with Cruiser, you may to learn
->not to take offense easily.
->Cruiser: ::I give offense? How? I'm just being honesty...::
That's what I tell my fan-club, but somehow they don't seem to believe
me...
->Jennifer: There's honesty and then there's Cruiser's honesty...
Naah, there's woman honesty ("FiX, I'm sorry, I just crashed your
HD... you'll have to rebuild the FAT by hand... I hope you're not
angry?") and there's male honesty ("Gee, love, there just was this
wind coming from nowhere, and <crash>, there went your mother's
prefered vase!"):-)
->##|males are these wonderful and aloft creatures women are
->##|admiring from a distance, hoping to be noticed by them...
->#
->##Jennifer: I think you have the angle confused. You would be under
->##the glass and the women would be studying you...
->#
->#Told you I was fascinating!
->Jennifer: You'd like to be a specimen?
Well, since it'll likely become my fate someday (sign reads "here is
the last man on earth who dared make sexist jokes! At least, what's
left of him"), I try to get used to the idea...
->##Is my second attempt at sarcasm any better?::
->#
->#(Wisely refrains from commenting...)
->Jennifer: Good idea. It's safer that way.
Safer? Do I look like I'm concerned about being safe? (though I
somteimes get these flash of sanity, when François-Xavier tells me
"you should" <shudders at the thought of being sane>)
->Cruiser: ::Does that mean I'm getting better? I should keep
->practicing!::
I just got one of these above-mentionned flashs, so I think I will not
answer this one...
->##||Cruiser: ::Bomb shelter? Can I test it for you?::
->##|
->##|Sorry, too late...
->#
->##Cruiser: ::Can I destroy it for you?::
->#
->#Be my guest...
->Cruiser (gleefully): Thanks!
->Jennifer: I hope that shelter is in an isolated area...
Well, you see, there's hardly anybody *under* the Eiffel tower...
->##||Cruiser: ::Corrupt them? Me? Or should I say "moi"?
->##|(Did you know,FiX, that some of my ancestors were French?)
->##|
->##|Yes, I know, I've met them...
->##Cruiser: ::Really? Where?::
->#Two years ago in the Pyrennees... I was just walking in these
->#*really beautiful* mountains, and suddenly there come two four-feet
->#mountains,
->Jennifer (looking at Cruiser): I can tell you have met some of his
->distant relatives.
->#barking and in a playful mood...
->Jennifer: Uh oh...playful usually means excited. How many broken
->bones did you come away with?
None, my grandfather had a hound when I was a boy, and I used to play
with him... it taught me how to get pounced, walked over and trailed
with the leash quite nicely...
->#it was real fun, once my heart found its way into my chest again...
->Jennifer: Now this explain a few things. You're a thrill-seeker.
->That's why you make some of your comments...
Well, being safe just isn't fun... which explains why I love posting
in this NG...
->#you know, the "bergiers des pyrennées" (I don't know their english
->name)
->Jennifer: You mean "berger", as in "shepherd"?
Yes, it was a typo...
->#were used to protect cattle... no bear would go near one of them,
->Jennifer: No wonder. Bears are smart animals.
->#and two can repel a whole wolf pack's attack...
->Jennifer: I'm not surprised. Although I've usually heard of
->Cruiser's relatives guarding sheep, not cattle.
You're absolutely right, I think I must get my intelligence pills, I
shure am dumb these days...
->Cruiser: ::And humans. Don't forget humans!::
You know, Cruiser, I never thought of "bouncing everywhere and trying
to make me loose my footings" as guarding me... must be my vocabulary
tricking me again...
->##C: I can be an unspeakable menace. But unspeakable menaces
->##aren't cute. So I can pretend I'm just an unholy terror in order
->##to get attention and food...::
->#
->#Hum, if it's food you're looking for, I feel I must point out that
->#*hungry* unspeakable menaces get *huge* quantities of food...
->Jennifer: Don't tell him that!
->Cruiser: ::Too late...*toothy grin* I'm going to have to think about
->this!::
Hum, Jennifer, I'd say I'm sorry, but would you really believe me?
->##|Failure is trying to get an e-mail adress and not succeeding...
->#
->##Cruiser: ::I haven't given up yet.::
->#
->##Jennifer: That's why he never fails. He never gives up.
->#
->#I *knew* I had found a kindred soul...
->Jennifer: Sometimes not giving up can be detrimental to your health.
->Your throngs of "loving fans" would be a good example.
I though exercise was good for health?
->##Jennifer (*sigh*): Never tell him he'll never be able to do
->##something. It's the surest way of getting him to keep doing it. Of
->##course this works for everything except telling him that he'll
->##never be good. He doesn't care about that.
->#What you have to do is make him belive being good is *fun*... of
->#course, this will not work for long, if at all...
->Jennifer (weary sigh): Tried that. It worked so long as we fed him
->constantly.
You mean he's not feeding constantly? With all the flying foog on this
NG, I must admit I'm a little surprised... congratulation, Cruiser, I
think you deserve the highest mark for your speed at eating...
->In fact, when he was a puppy and we called him "good boy",
->he automatically associated those words with "goodie" and expected a
->treat. Needles to say, we couldn't keep this up very long.
Let me guess, you where afraid of being bankrout (sp? I'm translating
directly from french ,there)?
->Jennifer: Cruiser's practicing sarcasm. I suppose I'm practicing
->being cruel. Cruiser often tells me I'm mean. Usually when I won't
->let him do something he wants to do. But my saying something is just
->a token gesture of defiance. He usually does what he wants anyway.
You know, it's a pity you never met my parents when I was a teenager,
you would have gotten along really well...
->Cruiser: ::But at least I ask first!::
->Jennifer: But it doesn't matter what I say!
->Cruiser: ::But at least I ask. I wouldn't want you to feel left
out.::
See, Jennifer? He's a good boy, he wants you to feel happy!
->##Cruiser: ::I've got a great sense of smell. What's for dinner and
->##can I steal it?::
->#
->#fondue, and no you can't steal it, it's full of alcohol...
->Jennifer: Funny coincidence. I believe there was someone on the Ng
->talking about making you into fondue...
Yeah, I read this and it made me realize I hadn't had one for a looong
time... see? This NG even is useful, apart from being fun...
->Cruiser: ::Yummy! What kind?::
Savoyarde, which is a fondue with three kind of cheese, some white
wine and kirsh, plus assorted spices... it's really good, but there's
one catch: you have to drink wine with it, because otherwise the
cheese will not be digestible, so you've got to be *really careful*,
or you end up drunk...
->#No, my sense of timing works fine... it's not really useful, since
->#it usually goes "uh-oh, too late", but it works fine...
->Jennifer: I see. You have a sense of timing. You just don't listen
->to it.
Yeah, it's a sense linked with common sense... once you loose the
latter, the former kind of fades away...
->Kind of like your common sense? (*smile*)
I'm really a telepath, I think... I mean, once could be coincidnece,
but this is the fourth time in three posts I answer with your next
line...
->#Tragic ends are *fun*!... as long as it isn't mine, of course...
->#still, I'm young, fast, cunning, so I'm not about to reach my end
->#soon (I hope so, anyway)...
->Jennifer: Not the end of a noose anyway. I believe the ladies have
->given up on that idea. I think turning you into fondue is the latest
->plan.
Hey, they've got to catch me first! Of course, since apparently it was
Kyrra who played with my map of the galaxy, they might ambush me...
but I will prevail, I always prevail, I'm the bestest, I <rants on
without noticing the numerous tentacles sprouting from his body and
stuffing themselves in his mouth>...
->##a sense of fatality (you're a teacher),
->#No, that's actually not a sense, more like a shortage of good
->sense...
->Jennifer: And they let you teach impressionable
students....Shocking! (*smile*)
Hey, they tried getting sensible people to teach, but being sensible
they declined the offer. Thus they had to look for people who would
accept the job... They started by asking mentally deficient people,
who where not *that* dumb, and proceeded downhill... Finally, they had
to ask me, nobody else was remaining...
->#Jennifer, I've got this great idea! How would you feel about a
->#trade? I take Cruiser in, you take Gogol in your head...
->Jennifer: No thanks. Cruiser has his own body. He may talk in my
->head, but at least we're separate.
Pity, I would have felt on holydays...
->##Have I missed any?
->#
->#Yes, a good musical sense... I feel Cruiser's barks are real music
->#<g>...
->Cruiser: ::A fan! I've got a fan! Did you hear my relatives sing?::
Not at first... I think they where surprised too when they saw me. But
after playing a little with them, I heard them sing... as did anyone
this side of the pond, I'm afraid: they've got quite a voice!
->Jennifer: Don't get too excited, Cruiser. Ask first if he's
->tonedeaf...But actually, Cruiser does sing.
->Cruiser: ::On my own and accompanying a clarinet!::
Who plays the clarinet?
->##|You haven't been teaching *my* students...
->#
->##Jennifer: They can't be that bad if they only depress you for two
->##minutes.
->#
->#Uh, make that I'll trade Cruiser for Gogol and my students...
->Jennifer: As hard as it is for me to say this--
->Cruiser: ::Why's it hard? Who'd want to give me up?::
Shh, Cruiser, don't feel sad, she wouldn't give you away... firstly,
she loves you, and then I think she would find the calm distressing...
I mean, would someone who likes her life quiet and subdued have
adopted you? I think this mean she likes things to be lively...
speaking of which, I haven't heard you bringing hell on earth lately,
what's going on? Are you ill? <*very* wicked smile>
->Jennifer: ...I have to decline your generous offer. With Cruiser, I
->know what I'm up againt. It may be a losing battle, but I still
->intend to fight it.
And you love every moment of the battle, I know... you really would
love teaching, I think. You should go into teaching, by the way,
teachers who love their jobs are so rare...
->##Cruiser: ::Want me to scare them for you?::
->#
->#You wouldn't, Gogol seems mature compared to them...
->Cruiser: ::Then they'd love me. Children love me!::
<thinks of the students petting Cruiser during courses... GROAN!>:-)
->##Cruiser: ::Humans need illusions. Like the illusion of
->#superiority!::
->#
->#No, Cruiser, that would be a desillusion... wow, I've actually made
->#a pun!
->Jennifer: It's fun, isn't it?
Yes, at least when the initial moment of embarassment is gone... :-)
->Cruiser: ::Oh, something new for me to learn!::
See how friendly I am? I'm always trying to think of new experiences
for you!
->#ever tried reading Bone, or The Books of Magic?
->Jennifer: No, I haven't tried them. I've never heard of Bone.
Oh, you should! It's a fantasy comics, it's *FUN* and it's quite well
distributed... the 16 (I think) first issues have been collected in
two books, and the third collection will probably soon be out (the
current issue is #23). The only dissatisfying thing with it is his
parution rate... Jeff Smith (the creator) is *very* slow...
->#If you haven't, you should try, specially the books of magic
->##16 to 20... great story, and great lines: "you know, you've got
->##this completely backwards... *I*'m the girlfiend, *I*'m supposed
->##to tease you mercilessly"...
->Jennifer (smiling): And what can I say to that?
Great line, isn't it? And it's not the only one... I really should
include some in my various .sig...
->Jennifer: The "scapegoat" personality. That's not fair. You'll crush
->his young mind.
It's for his own good!
->##||Cruiser: ::How do you bandage a soul? Isn't a soul hard to get a
->##||hold of?::
->##|
->##|No, it seems to me you've got quite a good hold on Jennifer's.
Why
->##|else would she let you get away with so much?
->#
->##Jennifer: A question I ask myself everyday...(*rueful smile*)
->#
->##Cruiser: ::Because she loves me and because I'm cute!::
->#
->#You know, Cruiser, being cute is not *all* it's rumored to be...
ask
->#Fluffy, for example...
->Cruiser: ::He ran out of "cute points". I have a lifetime supply!::
Well, Fluffy had a nine lifetimes supply of cute points, but they seem
to have disapeared quite fast...
->#Oh yeah, what a great way to introduce yourself: ::hello, I'm
->Cruiser,
->#I'm the god's answer to every bored soul:: now, why didn't think of
->#that myself?
->Jennifer: Do you have to say things like that? Now you've given him
->a new purpose...
Great, I wouldn't want Cruiser to lack a purpose in life... though
he's got quite a supply of those: eating, having fun, eating, making
yopur life interesting, eating, using all your sanity in one day,
eating...
->Cruiser: ::Thanks, FiX. How about--"Cruiser, Divine Force of
->Destruction!"?::
That's great! Uh, how would you feel about a sidekick? I'm asking on
Gogol's behalf, he's quite excited by the prospect...
->Jennifer: Then where does all that excess panic go? Is your hair
->falling out?
I've adapted... now I feed on panic, and only occasionnaly eat *real*
food, just to remind myself of the taste...
->##Cruiser: ::I'm going to have to answer...My Lady's laughing too
->##hard...does that mean you're wrong?::
->#
->#No, it's womens' way of covering their embarrassment...
->Jennifer: And selective interpretation is a man's way of salving a
->bruised ego.... (*smile*)
Well, you reminded me it wasn't my ego I wanted to get bruised...
->##Jennifer: It's kept you alive so far, hasn't it?
->#
->#Well, yes, but I'm a scientist, you know? I'm always ready for a
->#new experiment...
->Jennifer: Then why don't you let the ladies catch you? All in the
->spirit of experimentation after all!
Well, you see, there's experimentation and then there's suicide...
->##Jennifer: Now you're contradicting yourself. You said you didn't
->##have one. How will you ever put up a credible defense if you can't
->##be consistent? (*smile*)
->#
->#Hey, they do say memory's the first thing to go...
->Jennifer: It must be. That's the third time you've repeated that
line.
<OUCH!>
->##|Hey, my folks didn't teach me humilty, thay taught me *realism*!
->#
->##Jennifer: What happened to it?
->#
->#I went into teaching... does that answer your question?
->Jennifer: Yes. You gave up on it, hmm?
No, it deserted on me...
->#I should think so... he is the one being I would trust to make
->#people understand that being in a total state of panick can
->#actually be fun...
->Cruiser: ::Thank-you!::
->Jennifer (sigh): Only you would take that as a compliment.
Hey, it was mean as one!
->Cruiser: ::I'm glad someone recognizes my talent.::
You know, Cruiser, I think Jennifer recognizes your talents... it's
just that you've got two different ways of calling them...
->Jennifer: Oh, are we playing for points? I think you deserve a few
->yourself.
Thanks! I don't know if I should play for points. I considered doing
it, but it brought such *horribles* puns to what serves as my mind
that I took pity on you all... I mean, I had these posts ready to be
sent, so I reread them as always to catch misspellings, and they where
sooo awfoul I coudn't decently send them...
->#(uh-oh, sorry, Jennifer, I didn't mean to give him ideas...
->Jennifer: When the great moments in history are disrupted by a white
->bear of a dog, we'll know who to blame.
<chants and danses on the table>
Insanity, remember? No jury is gonna convict me 'cause I'm insaaane!
->#I would have *sold* them...)
->Cruiser: ::Too bad. You might have exchanged them for a look at the
->book.::
You know, I've got tons of other nice ideas....
->#well, you see, presently I'm a little shy of the "seizing" stuff...
->#It's not the seizing per see, you know, just what happens after...
->Jennifer: You mean it's all in where you put your hands? (*wicked
->smile*)
Tanya! Come here again!
->##Jennifer: So you won't admit which personality is at fault?
->#
->#AT FAULT? No personnality of mine will ever believe he is at fault,
->#you know? At fault, what a strange notion...
->Jennifer: I thought you said above that Gogol was responsible for
->all the trouble. Perhaps I'm looking at this the wrong way. One of
->your personality's may be responsible, but none of them will ever
->admit it...
Responsible, me? I should assign you for libel!
->#FiX, the trouble magnet
->Jennifer: Watch out for flying pieces of iron.
Oh, but I thought it was irony flying in this NG? <groan> (See why I
shouldn't play for points? This pun was excellent compared to others I
was tempted to make)...
->
-> Jennifer of White Shadow
-> Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
FiX, insanity's child and madness' brother...
irl...@nando.net
<all the actual post deleted>
>FiX, insanity's child and madness' brother...
>
>
>
>
>François-Xavier de Montgolfier
>
>Wobbler had written an actual computer game like this once.
>It was called "Journey to Alpha Centauri". It was a screen
>with some dots on it. Because, he said, it happened in real
>time, which no-one had ever heard of until computers. He'd
>seen on TV that it took three thousand years to get to Alpha
>Centauri. He had written it so that if anyone kept their
>computer on for three thouand years, they'd be rewarded by
>a little dot appearing in the middle of the screen, and then
>a message saying,'Welcome to Alpha Centaury. Now go home'
> Terry Pratchett, 'Only you can save mankind'
>
TEEE-HEEEE-AAAAHHH-HAHHHHH-HOOOO-HOOOOO (In other words <giggle>)
That's good!!!!! I like that, though you have to admit, it's a little cruel!!!!
Susan Irlbeck
HAAAAHAHHHHAHHHHHAHHA!!!!
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
##Jennifer: So? A lot of people who speak English misspell too.
#
#Well, I'm not used to misspelling, at least in French... I mean, I
#always whine and gripe at my students because "when you'll look for a
#job, the first thing they will look for is misspellings", so I've got
#to be faultless on that score.
Jennifer: Just on that score? (*smile*
#I try to use spotless english, but sometimes I'm laughing so hard I
don't
really see #what I write, and sometimes I just forget either the term
I
wanted to use, or the
#correct spelling...
Jennifer:" I think I know what yuou mean. Except I usually forget the
word I
want when I'm speaking French, which can leave me silent for a few
awkward
moments as I try to remember it...
Cruiser: ::Why do humans bother with so many different languages? Why
not
just use mind-speech?::
Jennifer: You forget, Cruiser, that everyone can't do that.
Cruiser: ::Oh, you mean I shouldn't remind humans that they're not as
gifted
as me?::
Jennifer (fighting a smile): Something like that...
#
###Oh, I only count as your equal? I'm disapointed...
#
##Cruiser: ::Nope. No one is my equal--::
#
#Do you mean I'm your superior? :-)
Cruiser: ::You could think that if it makes you feel better! *toothy
grin*::
Jennifer: Although Cruise will soon disabuse you of the notion...
#
##Jennifer (quietly): Thank goodness...
#
#Why? You know, Jennifer, I think you have to refine your sense of
#fun...
Jennifer: Refine, as in making pure? But I'm having pure fun with this
conversation!
#come here, Cruiser, we'll think of some things to help her understand
what
*real fun* #is... :-)
Jennifer: I don't think he needs the encouragement. Besides, I
understand
his sense of *real fun* all to well. If yours is anything like his,
then I'm
definitely not letting you talk to him!
Cruiser: ::You can't stop me! What do you have in mind, FiX? I haven't
had
any really good fun in minutes...::
#
##Cruiser: ::--but you can be my co-conspirator. *toothy grin*::
#
#Wow! I hadn't even seen this when I wrote the previous sentence...
#mind-sharing, maybe?
Jennifer: I thought you said you didn't have one. Remember that was
going to
be your defense? How can you share what you don't have? *smile* (Oh,
that
was a bit harsh. I should take that back. Maybe later...)
#
####Cruiser: ::I am male. But I'm also CANINE! That means being
####superior to all humans!::
#
###Well, I won't take offense since I've now got past that stage...
#
##Jennifer: That's good. When dealing with Cruiser, you may to learn
##not to take offense easily.
#
##Cruiser: ::I give offense? How? I'm just being honest...::
#
#That's what I tell my fan-club, but somehow they don't seem to
believe
#me...
Jennifer: Funny...I've never heard anyone call a lynch-mob a "fan
club"
before...
##Jennifer: There's honesty and then there's Cruiser's honesty...
#
#Naah, there's woman honesty ("FiX, I'm sorry, I just crashed your
#HD... you'll have to rebuild the FAT by hand... I hope you're not
#angry?") and there's male honesty ("Gee, love, there just was this
#wind coming from nowhere, and <crash#, there went your mother's
#prefered vase!"):-)
Jennifer (laughing): Sounds like you speak from personal experience...
#
####|males are these wonderful and aloft creatures women are
####|admiring from a distance, hoping to be noticed by them...
###
####Jennifer: I think you have the angle confused. You would be under
####the glass and the women would be studying you...
###
###Told you I was fascinating!
#
##Jennifer: You'd like to be a specimen?
#
#Well, since it'll likely become my fate someday (sign reads "here is
#the last man on earth who dared make sexist jokes! At least, what's
#left of him"), I try to get used to the idea...
Jennifer: Do you want that on your headstone? Or should they just
write that
up in the lab report? But you shouldn't get used to the idea. It takes
all
the fun out of the game.
#
####Is my second attempt at sarcasm any better?::
###
###(Wisely refrains from commenting...)
#
##Jennifer: Good idea. It's safer that way.
#
#Safer? Do I look like I'm concerned about being safe?
Jennifer: No. You're talking to me and Cruiser!
#(though I somteimes get these flash of sanity,
Jennifer: Which you obviously ignore...
#when François-Xavier tells me "you should" <shudders at the thought
of
being sane#)
Jennifer: I thought Francois-Xavier was the crazy personality...
#
##Cruiser: ::Does that mean I'm getting better? I should keep
##practicing!::
#
#I just got one of these above-mentionned flashs, so I think I will
not
#answer this one...
Cruiser: ::Does that mean I can?::
Jennifer (to FiX): I should have warned you. He tends to interpret
silence
as yes.
#
####||Cruiser: ::Bomb shelter? Can I test it for you?::
####|
####|Sorry, too late...
###
####Cruiser: ::Can I destroy it for you?::
###
###Be my guest...
#
##Cruiser (gleefully): Thanks!
#
##Jennifer: I hope that shelter is in an isolated area...
#
#Well, you see, there's hardly anybody *under* the Eiffel tower...
Jennifer: You'd let Cruiser destroy a national monument? Shame, shame!
#
####||Cruiser: ::Corrupt them? Me? Or should I say "moi"?
####|(Did you know,FiX, that some of my ancestors were French?)
####|
####|Yes, I know, I've met them...
#
####Cruiser: ::Really? Where?::
#
###Two years ago in the Pyrennees... I was just walking in these
###*really beautiful* mountains, and suddenly there come two four-feet
###mountains,
#
##Jennifer (looking at Cruiser): I can tell you have met some of his
##distant relatives.
#
###barking and in a playful mood...
#
##Jennifer: Uh oh...playful usually means excited. How many broken
##bones did you come away with?
#
#None, my grandfather had a hound when I was a boy, and I used to play
#with him... it taught me how to get pounced, walked over and trailed
#with the leash quite nicely...
Cruiser: ::So you've been trained! I'll have less work to do when I
come
visit.::
#
###it was real fun, once my heart found its way into my chest again...
#
##Jennifer: Now this explain a few things. You're a thrill-seeker.
##That's why you make some of your comments...
#
#Well, being safe just isn't fun... which explains why I love posting
#in this NG...
Jennifer: Some of your posts sound more like you're seeking to be
murdered
rather than seeking thrills...
#
###you know, the "bergiers des pyrennées" (I don't know their english
##name)
#
##Jennifer: You mean "berger", as in "shepherd"?
#
#Yes, it was a typo...
Jennifer (smiling): I thought you didn't misspell in French...
##Jennifer: I'm not surprised. Although I've usually heard of
##Cruiser's relatives guarding sheep, not cattle.
#
#You're absolutely right, I think I must get my intelligence pills, I
#shure am dumb these days...
Jennifer: Your students stealing your supply?
#
##Cruiser: ::And humans. Don't forget humans!::
#
#You know, Cruiser, I never thought of "bouncing everywhere and trying
#to make me loose my footings" as guarding me... must be my vocabulary
#tricking me again...
Cruiser: ::Never question how a canine chooses to guard you! Just be
grateful!::
Jennifer: And be well insured...
#
####C: I can be an unspeakable menace. But unspeakable menaces
####aren't cute. So I can pretend I'm just an unholy terror in order
####to get attention and food...::
###
###Hum, if it's food you're looking for, I feel I must point out that
###*hungry* unspeakable menaces get *huge* quantities of food...
#
##Jennifer: Don't tell him that!
#
##Cruiser: ::Too late...*toothy grin* I'm going to have to think about
##this!::
#
#Hum, Jennifer, I'd say I'm sorry, but would you really believe me?
Jennifer: You might try...
Cruiser: I'm done thinking. I *like* that idea!
#
####|Failure is trying to get an e-mail adress and not succeeding...
###
####Cruiser: ::I haven't given up yet.::
###
####Jennifer: That's why he never fails. He never gives up.
###
###I *knew* I had found a kindred soul...
#
##Jennifer: Sometimes not giving up can be detrimental to your health.
##Your throngs of "loving fans" would be a good example.
#
#I though exercise was good for health?
Jennifer: Yes. But I've heard about excessive exercise bringing on
heart
attacks...
#
####Jennifer (*sigh*): Never tell him he'll never be able to do
####something. It's the surest way of getting him to keep doing it. Of
####course this works for everything except telling him that he'll
####never be good. He doesn't care about that.
#
###What you have to do is make him belive being good is *fun*... of
###course, this will not work for long, if at all...
#
##Jennifer (weary sigh): Tried that. It worked so long as we fed him
##constantly.
#
#You mean he's not feeding constantly? With all the flying foog on
this
#NG, I must admit I'm a little surprised...
Jennifer: He couldn't eat constantly. There's not enough food in the
world,
not even on this NG.
#congratulation, Cruiser, I think you deserve the highest mark for
your
speed at #eating...
Cruiser: ::Open your fridge and I'll give you a demonstration...::
##In fact, when he was a puppy and we called him "good boy",
##he automatically associated those words with "goodie" and expected a
##treat. Needles to say, we couldn't keep this up very long.
#
#Let me guess, you where afraid of being bankrout (sp? I'm translating
#directly from french ,there)?
Jennifer: "Bankrupt". Yes, we were afraid of that. We were also afraid
he'd
explode.
Cruiser: ::That would never happen. I can eat as much as I like and I
never
gain weight.::
Jennifer: Just fur...
#
##Jennifer: Cruiser's practicing sarcasm. I suppose I'm practicing
##being cruel. Cruiser often tells me I'm mean. Usually when I won't
##let him do something he wants to do. But my saying something is just
##a token gesture of defiance. He usually does what he wants anyway.
#
#You know, it's a pity you never met my parents when I was a teenager,
#you would have gotten along really well...
Jennifer: Is it too late to send your parents a condolence card?
(*smile*)
#
##Cruiser: ::But at least I ask first!::
#
##Jennifer: But it doesn't matter what I say!
#
##Cruiser: ::But at least I ask. I wouldn't want you to feel left
#out.::
#
#See, Jennifer? He's a good boy, he wants you to feel happy!
Jennifer: He'd like me to delude myself.
Cruiser: ::Why not? Human superiority is a delusion most humans are
very
attached to.::
#
####Cruiser: ::I've got a great sense of smell. What's for dinner and
####can I steal it?::
###
###fondue, and no you can't steal it, it's full of alcohol...
#
##Jennifer: Funny coincidence. I believe there was someone on the Ng
##talking about making you into fondue...
#
#Yeah, I read this and it made me realize I hadn't had one for a
looong
#time... see? This NG even is useful, apart from being fun...
Jennifer: We do have a recipe section. Maybe you should post it.
#
##Cruiser: ::Yummy! What kind?::
#
#Savoyarde, which is a fondue with three kind of cheese, some white
#wine and kirsh, plus assorted spices... it's really good, but there's
#one catch: you have to drink wine with it, because otherwise the
#cheese will not be digestible, so you've got to be *really careful*,
#or you end up drunk...
Jennifer: Did you respond to this after you ate?
#
###No, my sense of timing works fine... it's not really useful, since
###it usually goes "uh-oh, too late", but it works fine...
#
##Jennifer: I see. You have a sense of timing. You just don't listen
##to it.
#
#Yeah, it's a sense linked with common sense... once you loose the
#latter, the former kind of fades away...
Jennifer: Lack of use, I suppose. (*smile*)
#
##Kind of like your common sense? (*smile*)
#
#I'm really a telepath, I think... I mean, once could be coincidnece,
#but this is the fourth time in three posts I answer with your next
#line...
Jennifer: Could it be that you look ahead? Maybe you don't have
foresight,
but hindsight.
###Tragic ends are *fun*!... as long as it isn't mine, of course...
###still, I'm young, fast, cunning, so I'm not about to reach my end
###soon (I hope so, anyway)...
#
##Jennifer: Not the end of a noose anyway. I believe the ladies have
##given up on that idea. I think turning you into fondue is the latest
##plan.
#
#Hey, they've got to catch me first!
Jennifer: They'll take that as challenge, of course.
#Of course, since apparently it was Kyrra who played with my map of
the
galaxy, they #might ambush me...
Jennifer: Maybe you shouldn't be giving them any ideas.
#but I will prevail, I always prevail, I'm the bestest,
Jennifer: I love to see someone who has confidence in themselves. It
may be
a delusion, but it's still nice to see.
#I <rants on without noticing the numerous tentacles sprouting from
his body and
#stuffing themselves in his mouth#...
Jennifer: Careful. Don't choke.
#
####a sense of fatality (you're a teacher),
#
###No, that's actually not a sense, more like a shortage of good
##sense...
#
##Jennifer: And they let you teach impressionable
#students....Shocking! (*smile*)
#
#Hey, they tried getting sensible people to teach, but being sensible
#they declined the offer. Thus they had to look for people who would
#accept the job...
Jennifer: Why not try a lottery system? "Guess what you just won?! A
class
of forty screaming students...!!!::
#They started by asking mentally deficient people, who where not
*that*
dumb, and #proceeded downhill... Finally, they had to ask me, nobody
else
was remaining...
Jennifer: Are you saying you'd rather not be a teacher?
#
###Jennifer, I've got this great idea! How would you feel about a
###trade? I take Cruiser in, you take Gogol in your head...
#
##Jennifer: No thanks. Cruiser has his own body. He may talk in my
##head, but at least we're separate.
#
#Pity, I would have felt on holydays...
Jennifer: We could let Gogol room with Cruise for a while...wait, bad
idea.
Separate, they're enough trouble. Together...<shudder#
#
####Have I missed any?
###
###Yes, a good musical sense... I feel Cruiser's barks are real music
###<g#...
#
##Cruiser: ::A fan! I've got a fan! Did you hear my relatives sing?::
#
#Not at first... I think they where surprised too when they saw me.
But
#after playing a little with them, I heard them sing... as did anyone
#this side of the pond, I'm afraid: they've got quite a voice!
Jennifer: You have heard them then! Most of the province knows when
Cruiser
is having a good day. They hear him barking!
Cruiser: ::Why shouldn't they share in my joy? When I'm happy, it
means--::
Jennifer: ...you've done something bad and I haven't found out about
it yet.
Cruiser: ::Yes! And I like to spread my joy around.::
Jennifer: Making us all deaf in the process.
#
##Jennifer: Don't get too excited, Cruiser. Ask first if he's
##tonedeaf...But actually, Cruiser does sing.
#
##Cruiser: ::On my own and accompanying a clarinet!::
#
#Who plays the clarinet?
Jennifer: I can make noise on it. My dad plays. Cruiser doesn't really
know
the difference.
#
####|You haven't been teaching *my* students...
###
####Jennifer: They can't be that bad if they only depress you for two
####minutes.
###
###Uh, make that I'll trade Cruiser for Gogol and my students...
#
##Jennifer: As hard as it is for me to say this--
#
##Cruiser: ::Why's it hard? Who'd want to give me up?::
#
#Shh, Cruiser, don't feel sad, she wouldn't give you away... firstly,
#she loves you, and then I think she would find the calm
distressing...
Jennifer: I'm not even sure I remember what it is...
#I mean, would someone who likes her life quiet and subdued have
#adopted you?
Jennifer: I'd like to claim I didn't know what he'd be like. But I was
warned. I just didn't believe...
#I think this mean she likes things to be lively...
Jennifer: That's an interesting way of describing acts of destruction.
#speaking of which, I haven't heard you bringing hell on earth lately,
#what's going on? Are you ill? <*very* wicked smile#
Jennifer: You didn't hear about the mild earthquake in Ontario and
Quebec? I
think that was him, but he won't admit it.
Cruiser: ::Don't want anyone stealing my secrets.::
#
##Jennifer: ...I have to decline your generous offer. With Cruiser, I
##know what I'm up againt. It may be a losing battle, but I still
##intend to fight it.
#
#And you love every moment of the battle, I know...
Jennifer: I suppose I know. This is proof (if any one needed it
*smile*)
that I'm not sane...
#you really would love teaching, I think. You should go into teaching,
by
the way,
#teachers who love their jobs are so rare...
Jennifer: As I said, I'm considering it. Do you? I promise I won't
tell your
students.
#
####Cruiser: ::Want me to scare them for you?::
###
###You wouldn't, Gogol seems mature compared to them...
#
##Cruiser: ::Then they'd love me. Children love me!::
#
#<thinks of the students petting Cruiser during courses... GROAN!#:-)
Jennifer: You'd never be able to teach them anything!
#
####Cruiser: ::Humans need illusions. Like the illusion of
###superiority!::
###
###No, Cruiser, that would be a desillusion... wow, I've actually made
###a pun!
#
##Jennifer: It's fun, isn't it?
#
#Yes, at least when the initial moment of embarassment is gone... :-)
Jennifer: You lose that fast around here...(*smile*)
#
##Cruiser: ::Oh, something new for me to learn!::
#
#See how friendly I am? I'm always trying to think of new experiences
#for you!
Jennifer: Not that I'm trying to curb your creativity, but could you
tell me
before you tell Cruiser? We do have some laws in this country...
#
###ever tried reading Bone, or The Books of Magic?
#
##Jennifer: No, I haven't tried them. I've never heard of Bone.
#
#Oh, you should! It's a fantasy comics, it's *FUN* and it's quite well
#distributed... the 16 (I think) first issues have been collected in
#two books, and the third collection will probably soon be out (the
#current issue is #23). The only dissatisfying thing with it is his
#parution rate... Jeff Smith (the creator) is *very* slow...
Jennifer: Must be testing to see if his fans think his comics are
worth
waiting for...How long has been doing the series?
#
###If you haven't, you should try, specially the books of magic
####16 to 20... great story, and great lines: "you know, you've got
####this completely backwards... *I*'m the girlfiend, *I*'m supposed
####to tease you mercilessly"...
#
##Jennifer (smiling): And what can I say to that?
#
#Great line, isn't it? And it's not the only one... I really should
#include some in my various .sig...
Jennifer: Why not? I think there's a contest going on your the longest
sig.
#
##Jennifer: The "scapegoat" personality. That's not fair. You'll crush
##his young mind.
#
#It's for his own good!
Cruiser: ::That would be like my Lady tying me up and telling me it
was for
my own good!::
Jennifer: I only tried that twice. I tied him to a tree in the front
yard
with a lot of rope so he could move around. He broke the rope. Then I
tried
a chain. He broke that too. After that, I decided it wasn't worth
it...
#
####||Cruiser: ::How do you bandage a soul? Isn't a soul hard to get a
####||hold of?::
####|
####|No, it seems to me you've got quite a good hold on Jennifer's.
#Why
####|else would she let you get away with so much?
###
####Jennifer: A question I ask myself everyday...(*rueful smile*)
###
####Cruiser: ::Because she loves me and because I'm cute!::
###
###You know, Cruiser, being cute is not *all* it's rumored to be...
#ask
###Fluffy, for example...
#
##Cruiser: ::He ran out of "cute points". I have a lifetime supply!::
#
#Well, Fluffy had a nine lifetimes supply of cute points, but they
seem
#to have disapeared quite fast...
Cruiser: ::I'm the immortal force of destruction. Mine will never run
out!::
#
###Oh yeah, what a great way to introduce yourself: ::hello, I'm
##Cruiser,
###I'm the god's answer to every bored soul:: now, why didn't think of
###that myself?
#
##Jennifer: Do you have to say things like that? Now you've given him
##a new purpose...
#
#Great, I wouldn't want Cruiser to lack a purpose in life... though
#he's got quite a supply of those: eating, having fun, eating, making
#yopur life interesting,
Jennifer: That reminds me of the Shin'a'in curse: "May you live in
interesting times."
#eating, using all your sanity in one day, eating...
Jennifer: I think my sanity was gone in less than a day. He works
quickly.
Cruiser: ::I'm a busy canine, aren't I?::
#
##Cruiser: ::Thanks, FiX. How about--"Cruiser, Divine Force of
##Destruction!"?::
#
#That's great! Uh, how would you feel about a sidekick? I'm asking on
#Gogol's behalf, he's quite excited by the prospect...
Jennifer: Still trying to get rid of him?
Cruiser: ::A sidekick? Maybe a protege...::
#
##Jennifer: Then where does all that excess panic go? Is your hair
##falling out?
#
#I've adapted... now I feed on panic, and only occasionnaly eat *real*
#food, just to remind myself of the taste...
Jennifer: Did this transformation take place when you became a purple
alien?
(This will sound very strange to anyone who hasn't been following this
conversation!)
#
####Cruiser: ::I'm going to have to answer...My Lady's laughing too
####hard...does that mean you're wrong?::
###
###No, it's womens' way of covering their embarrassment...
#
##Jennifer: And selective interpretation is a man's way of salving a
##bruised ego.... (*smile*)
#
#Well, you reminded me it wasn't my ego I wanted to get bruised...
Jennifer: And you rejected that offer. Remind yourself of that!
(*smile*)
###Well, yes, but I'm a scientist, you know? I'm always ready for a
###new experiment...
#
##Jennifer: Then why don't you let the ladies catch you? All in the
##spirit of experimentation after all!
#
#Well, you see, there's experimentation and then there's suicide...
Jennifer: You walk a fine line. You must be a thrill-seeker!
#
####Jennifer: Now you're contradicting yourself. You said you didn't
####have one. How will you ever put up a credible defense if you can't
####be consistent? (*smile*)
###
###Hey, they do say memory's the first thing to go...
#
##Jennifer: It must be. That's the third time you've repeated that
#line.
#
#<OUCH!#
Jennifer (smiling): Phanton pain?
#
####|Hey, my folks didn't teach me humilty, thay taught me *realism*!
###
####Jennifer: What happened to it?
###
###I went into teaching... does that answer your question?
#
##Jennifer: Yes. You gave up on it, hmm?
#
#No, it deserted on me...
Jennifer: It figured you were a lost cause?
#
###I should think so... he is the one being I would trust to make
###people understand that being in a total state of panick can
###actually be fun...
#
##Cruiser: ::Thank-you!::
#
##Jennifer (sigh): Only you would take that as a compliment.
#
#Hey, it was mean as one!
Jennifer: I know. Only you would offer it as one! (And that is a
compliment)
#
##Cruiser: ::I'm glad someone recognizes my talent.::
#
#You know, Cruiser, I think Jennifer recognizes your talents... it's
#just that you've got two different ways of calling them...
Jennifer: Yes. He calls them "talents". I call them "trouble".
Cruiser: ::You have to open your mind, Lady.::
Jennifer: I do. It's too open. I hear you all the time!
#
##Jennifer: Oh, are we playing for points? I think you deserve a few
##yourself.
#
#Thanks! I don't know if I should play for points. I considered doing
#it, but it brought such *horribles* puns to what serves as my mind
#that I took pity on you all... I mean, I had these posts ready to be
#sent, so I reread them as always to catch misspellings, and they
where
#sooo awfoul I coudn't decently send them...
Jennifer: You have a sense of decency? Where did you get it? I'd like
to
find one for Cruiser.
Cruiser: ::Decency isn't made for canines.::
#
###(uh-oh, sorry, Jennifer, I didn't mean to give him ideas...
#
##Jennifer: When the great moments in history are disrupted by a white
##bear of a dog, we'll know who to blame.
#
#<chants and danses on the table#
#Insanity, remember? No jury is gonna convict me 'cause I'm insaaane!
Jennifer: I don't think the ladies are going to use the jury system.
They'll
proceed right to punishment.
#
###I would have *sold* them...)
#
##Cruiser: ::Too bad. You might have exchanged them for a look at the
##book.::
#
#You know, I've got tons of other nice ideas....
Jennifer: And you're going to keep them to yourself, aren't you?
Cruiser: ::Not fair! You can't censor ideas!::
#
###well, you see, presently I'm a little shy of the "seizing" stuff...
###It's not the seizing per see, you know, just what happens after...
#
##Jennifer: You mean it's all in where you put your hands? (*wicked
##smile*)
#
#Tanya! Come here again!
Jennifer: I told you--I'm not teaching that!
#
####Jennifer: So you won't admit which personality is at fault?
###
###AT FAULT? No personnality of mine will ever believe he is at fault,
###you know? At fault, what a strange notion...
#
##Jennifer: I thought you said above that Gogol was responsible for
##all the trouble. Perhaps I'm looking at this the wrong way. One of
##your personalities may be responsible, but none of them will ever
##admit it...
#
#Responsible, me? I should assign you for libel!
Jennifer: But your testimony wouldn't be good in court. If you're
insane,
you can't sue anyone!
#
###FiX, the trouble magnet
#
##Jennifer: Watch out for flying pieces of iron.
#
#Oh, but I thought it was irony flying in this NG? <groan# (See why I
#shouldn't play for points? This pun was excellent compared to others
I
#was tempted to make)...
Jennifer: I was testing to see if you would make that
one...Congratulations!
You do fit in here!
#FiX, insanity's child and madness' brother...
Jennifer: You're adopted and you have another isbling you haven't
mentioned?
Jennifer of White
Shadow
Cruiser, the Mountain
Heir
"I see millions of frogs on tiny crutches"
Kermit
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
->The never-ending story...(*smile*)
->#Well, I'm not used to misspelling, at least in French... I mean, I
->#always whine and gripe at my students because "when you'll look for
->#a job, the first thing they will look for is misspellings", so I've
->#got to be faultless on that score.
->Jennifer: Just on that score? (*smile*)
Regarding the courses? Surely! The first thing I tell my students is
"I'm not God-allmighty (though it's a close thing), thus I may tell
you stupid things... i fou think I do, your *duty* is to tell me"...
of course, it almost never works that way, and I keep finding errors
in what I just wrote (try writing on a board for two to four hours in
a row, and then count your errors... you'll be surprised!)
->#Do you mean I'm your superior? :-)
->Cruiser: ::You could think that if it makes you feel better! *toothy
->grin*::
Cheat! That was supposed to be *my* line for this post!
->#come here, Cruiser, we'll think of some things to help her
->#understand what *real fun* is... :-)
->Jennifer: I don't think he needs the encouragement. Besides, I
->understand his sense of *real fun* all to well. If yours is anything
->like his, then I'm definitely not letting you talk to him!
Hum, Jennifer? Notice all the littles signs there on your screen? That
was me speaking to Cruiser... I'm afraid you're a little late on that
score...
->Cruiser: ::You can't stop me! What do you have in mind, FiX? I
->haven't had any really good fun in minutes...::
Well, for a start, I think I heard Jennifer speak of snowsstorm in
another post... I can think of *lots* of fascinating things to do with
snow, a leash, and Jennifer at the other end of the leash...
->#Wow! I hadn't even seen this when I wrote the previous sentence...
->#mind-sharing, maybe?
->Jennifer: I thought you said you didn't have one. Remember that was
->going to be your defense? How can you share what you don't have?
->*smile* (Oh, that was a bit harsh. I should take that back. Maybe
->later...)
Brain! I said brain (or at least, I meant brain, but lacking one, I
may have made a little mistake)... I've got a wonderful mind, but it
doesn't need any brain!
->#That's what I tell my fan-club, but somehow they don't seem to
->#believe me...
->Jennifer: Funny...I've never heard anyone call a lynch-mob a "fan
->club" before...
How else would you call people who all want to get a piece of me?
->##Jennifer: There's honesty and then there's Cruiser's honesty...
->#
->#Naah, there's woman honesty ("FiX, I'm sorry, I just crashed your
->#HD... you'll have to rebuild the FAT by hand... I hope you're not
->#angry?") and there's male honesty ("Gee, love, there just was this
->#wind coming from nowhere, and <crash>, there went your mother's
->#prefered vase!"):-)
->Jennifer (laughing): Sounds like you speak from personal
experience...
Yeah, I've had to rebuild my computer's FAT quite a few times... Oh,
you mean the *other* part of the sentence? Naaah, not me... <g>
->##Jennifer: You'd like to be a specimen?
->#
->#Well, since it'll likely become my fate someday (sign reads "here
is
->#the last man on earth who dared make sexist jokes! At least, what's
->#left of him"), I try to get used to the idea...
->Jennifer: Do you want that on your headstone? Or should they just
->write that up in the lab report? But you shouldn't get used to the
->idea. It takes all the fun out of the game.
Hey, *I*'m supposed to get all the fun!
->#(though I somteimes get these flash of sanity,
->Jennifer: Which you obviously ignore...
->#when François-Xavier tells me "you should" <shudders at the thought
->of
->being sane#)
->Jennifer: I thought Francois-Xavier was the crazy personality...
No, François-Xavier iss the "official" personnality, the one I use
when I've got to appear sane, like when looking for a job... thoough,
thinking about it, he *loves* working and being serious... yeah,
you've got it right, François-Xavier's the crazy one! Me, I just get
these headaches...
->####||Cruiser: ::Bomb shelter? Can I test it for you?::
->####|Sorry, too late...
->####Cruiser: ::Can I destroy it for you?::
->###Be my guest...
->##Cruiser (gleefully): Thanks!
->##Jennifer: I hope that shelter is in an isolated area...
->#Well, you see, there's hardly anybody *under* the Eiffel tower...
->Jennifer: You'd let Cruiser destroy a national monument? Shame,
->shame!
Why? I think it would make for a great sight, whatwhing the top of the
tower tremble, slightly tip over and gain momentum until it
magestically crashes on the Champ de mars... Ooooh, I can't wait to
have Cruiser there! Besides, think of all the cute souvenirs this
would make... "Effeil towers, Effeil towers made in the metal of the
original one! Who hasn't got his Effeil tower yet?" and so on... and
the potacards! ... well, if Cruiser doesn't show up, I will have to
convince the tourist ministry of the greatness of the idea...
->Jennifer: Some of your posts sound more like you're seeking to be
->murdered rather than seeking thrills...
<mumbles "what can I say? I'm a scientist, I love new experiments?"
looks at his previous posts... "no, been here, done that..."... "I'm
always trying to please?" ... "Naaa, they wouldn't want to make my
mother cry"...> Hey, that's a good one! They wouldn't want to make my
poor, old, suffering mother cry, now, would they?... <"at least it's
woth a try...">
->#Yes, it was a typo...
->Jennifer (smiling): I thought you didn't misspell in French...
Nonono, it's not a misspelling, it's just that my fingers, having no
brain to guide them, sometimes do what they want and not what I ask
them to do...
->##Jennifer: I'm not surprised. Although I've usually heard of
->##Cruiser's relatives guarding sheep, not cattle.
->#
->#You're absolutely right, I think I must get my intelligence pills,
->#I sure am dumb these days...
->Jennifer: Your students stealing your supply?
Oh, I wish, you've got no idea of how much relaxing things would be
then...
->Cruiser: ::Never question how a canine chooses to guard you! Just be
->grateful!::
Grovel grovel grovel Yes, master, I wont doubt you again master I'll
be a good little boy now master! <g>
->Jennifer: And be well insured...
[oh, hell! edited a relevant part of the post! Cruiser said he could
be an unspeakable menace, but that in holy terror form people found
him cute and threw him food... I pointed out that *hungry* unspeakable
menace got food very rapidly, thank you, and Cruiser said he would
think about it]
->#Hum, Jennifer, I'd say I'm sorry, but would you really believe me?
->Jennifer: You might try...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry! <gets on his knees, hand over the heart, eyes
shamefully cast down, mouth trembling> You can't know how sorry I am
<g> (huh, that is <g> as in <groan>, of course! <g>)
->Cruiser: I'm done thinking. I *like* that idea!
<quickly throws his refrigerator's content in Cruiser's general
direction> OSHIT! Hum, Jennifer, do you think Cruiser's able to open a
wine bottle? Well, maybe it will break before arriving...
->#I though exercise was good for health?
->Jennifer: Yes. But I've heard about excessive exercise bringing on
->heart attacks...
Ah, you know, right now I'm more concerned about a grouppie attack...
<see the fumes under my soles? It's the space void burning because of
the friction...>
->Jennifer: He couldn't eat constantly. There's not enough food in the
->world,
->not even on this NG.
->#congratulation, Cruiser, I think you deserve the highest mark for
->your
->speed at #eating...
->Cruiser: ::Open your fridge and I'll give you a demonstration...::
Done that, watching now...
->#You know, it's a pity you never met my parents when I was a
->#teenager, you would have gotten along really well...
->Jennifer: Is it too late to send your parents a condolence card?
->(*smile*)
I wouldn't do that, I actually managed to convinced them I've <groan>
grown up since then...
->#See, Jennifer? He's a good boy, he wants you to feel happy!
->Jennifer: He'd like me to delude myself.
Isn't it the same thing? Regarding Cruiser and tact/obedience/humility
at least?
->Cruiser: ::Why not? Human superiority is a delusion most humans are
->very attached to.::
Most humans haven't met you (poor souls)!
->###fondue, and no you can't steal it, it's full of alcohol...
->Jennifer: We do have a recipe section. Maybe you should post it.
I'd love posting recipes there, but there's this little problem: I
couldn't translate it in english, as I don't know the english name of
most ingredients, and I don't know if anybody in the group could...
I've got some favourite dishes I would post too, but there's this
little matter of translation...
->#it's really good, but there's
->#one catch: you have to drink wine with it, because otherwise the
->#cheese will not be digestible, so you've got to be *really
->#careful*, or you end up drunk...
->Jennifer: Did you respond to this after you ate?
Do you mean I've got to be drunk to be funny? Snif, sniff, BOOO!
->#Yeah, it's a sense linked with common sense... once you loose the
->#latter, the former kind of fades away...
->Jennifer: Lack of use, I suppose. (*smile*)
No, I always listened to my common sense (as long as it lasted, that
is), but never followed its advice... You know what they say: know
your ennemy...
->Jennifer: Could it be that you look ahead? Maybe you don't have
->foresight, but hindsight.
Hey, that would be cheating! No, I think it's a case of sentences
crying for a mate, and, because we are sensitive people, we both try
to alleviate their pain...
->#Hey, they've got to catch me first!
->Jennifer: They'll take that as challenge, of course.
I'd be sad if they didn't!
->#Of course, since apparently it was Kyrra who played with my map of
->#the galaxy, they might ambush me...
->Jennifer: Maybe you shouldn't be giving them any ideas.
You should always give people the hope they might, if very lucky,
someday almost win...
->##Jennifer: And they let you teach impressionable
->#students....Shocking! (*smile*)
->#
->#Hey, they tried getting sensible people to teach, but being
->#sensible they declined the offer. Thus they had to look for people
->#who would accept the job...
->Jennifer: Why not try a lottery system? "Guess what you just won?! A
->class of forty screaming students...!!!::
Hey, don't start giving them ideas, that's *my job* on the line!
->#They started by asking mentally deficient people, who where not
->*that* dumb, and #proceeded downhill... Finally, they had to ask me,
->nobody else was remaining...
->Jennifer: Are you saying you'd rather not be a teacher?
No, it's one of the funniest jobs in life... it's also one of the most
depressing ("I've used seventeen ways of explaining this, and they
still don't understand"), nerve-shattering ("what will *(s)he*
(there's always one student in a class that will always ask the most
awkward questions...not really stupid, just awkward) ask me now?")
jobs, but on the whole making people *think* is really rewarding...
->Jennifer: You have heard them then! Most of the province knows when
->Cruiser is having a good day. They hear him barking!
Oh, *that*'s why I sometimes wake up in the night wondering why all
the dogs in my vinicity are barking! They've heard Cruiser and share
his joy...
->Cruiser: ::Why shouldn't they share in my joy? When I'm happy, it
->means--::
->Jennifer: ...you've done something bad and I haven't found out about
->it yet.
Wow, that's the purest of joy, having done something funny and the
recipicient of the joke not being yet aware of it...
->Cruiser: ::Yes! And I like to spread my joy around.::
->Jennifer: Making us all deaf in the process.
I think it's spoiled Cruiser at work again: ::she can always hear me
in her mind, why would she use her ears?::
->#Shh, Cruiser, don't feel sad, she wouldn't give you away...
firstly,
->#she loves you, and then I think she would find the calm
->distressing...
->Jennifer: I'm not even sure I remember what it is...
Yes, that's exactly what I mean, people always are distressed in
unusual situations...
->#speaking of which, I haven't heard you bringing hell on earth
lately,
->#what's going on? Are you ill? <*very* wicked smile>
->Jennifer: You didn't hear about the mild earthquake in Ontario and
->Quebec? I think that was him, but he won't admit it.
->Cruiser: ::Don't want anyone stealing my secrets.::
Wow, going from Terre-Neuve to Ontario to Quebec *without Jennifer
noticing it* is quite a feat, Cruiser! I think you are enticled to
feeling proud!
->#you really would love teaching, I think. You should go into
->#teaching, by the way, teachers who love their jobs are so rare...
->Jennifer: As I said, I'm considering it. Do you? I promise I won't
->tell your students.
Oh YEAH! It's a little alike to voting, you know... I've got these
rights given me by society, but I've got duties to the society as
well. When I'm teaching, I'm trying to help people being an integral
part of society, with responsibilities and opportunities
well-balanced... it not only is *fun* (as in mind-challenging) to
teach, but you also get to take your responsibilities and act upon
them! Besides, there are some chi^H^H^H women in the classes I
teach... :-)
->##Cruiser: ::Oh, something new for me to learn!::
->#
->#See how friendly I am? I'm always trying to think of new
->#experiences for you!
->Jennifer: Not that I'm trying to curb your creativity, but could you
->tell me before you tell Cruiser? We do have some laws in this
->country...
Oh, I think this one is safe...
->###ever tried reading Bone, or The Books of Magic?
->##Jennifer: No, I haven't tried them. I've never heard of Bone.
->#Oh, you should! It's a fantasy comics, it's *FUN* and it's quite
well
->#distributed... the 16 (I think) first issues have been collected in
->#two books, and the third collection will probably soon be out (the
->#current issue is #23). The only dissatisfying thing with it is his
->#parution rate... Jeff Smith (the creator) is *very* slow...
->Jennifer: Must be testing to see if his fans think his comics are
->worth waiting for...How long has been doing the series?
Around three years, I think...
->#Great line, isn't it? And it's not the only one... I really should
->#include some in my various .sigs...
->Jennifer: Why not? I think there's a contest going on your the
->longest sig.
I'd rather do the Vicki thing, and make a program to randomize my
signature... I haven't got the time for now, though, so I just collect
great lines in a file...
->##Jennifer: The "scapegoat" personality. That's not fair. You'll
->##crush his young mind.
->#It's for his own good!
->Cruiser: ::That would be like my Lady tying me up and telling me it
->was for my own good!::
->Jennifer: I only tried that twice. I tied him to a tree in the front
->yard with a lot of rope so he could move around. He broke the rope.
->Then I tried a chain. He broke that too. After that, I decided it
->wasn't worth it...
<LOL> that would have been before he was fully grown, wouldn't it?
->###You know, Cruiser, being cute is not *all* it's rumored to be...
->###ask Fluffy, for example...
->##Cruiser: ::He ran out of "cute points". I have a lifetime
supply!::
->#Well, Fluffy had a nine lifetimes supply of cute points, but they
->#seem to have disapeared quite fast...
->Cruiser: ::I'm the immortal force of destruction. Mine will never
->run out!::
Jennifer, I think you should read Cruiser "the man with the golden
brain" from Dino Buzzati...
->#Great, I wouldn't want Cruiser to lack a purpose in life... though
->#he's got quite a supply of those: eating, having fun, eating,
->#making your life interesting,
->Jennifer: That reminds me of the Shin'a'in curse: "May you live in
->interesting times."
Well, this is abm-l, I had to make at least a passing reference to her
books... couldn't remember the exact quote, though...
->#eating, using all your sanity in one day, eating...
->Jennifer: I think my sanity was gone in less than a day. He works
->quickly.
->Cruiser: ::I'm a busy canine, aren't I?::
^^^^^^^^
I've seen this used by other people, too... I've always been told it
should read "am I not?"... is this american english, or were my
teachers some centuries behind linguisticly speazking?
->##Cruiser: ::Thanks, FiX. How about--"Cruiser, Divine Force of
->##Destruction!"?::
->#That's great! Uh, how would you feel about a sidekick? I'm asking
->#on Gogol's behalf, he's quite excited by the prospect...
->Jennifer: Still trying to get rid of him?
Would I do that? I mean, he's a pain in the behind, he's got even less
sense than me and does things I actually find dangerous, but me
getting rid of him? Naaah! <smile>
->Cruiser: ::A sidekick? Maybe a protege...::
Would you like protecting him from himself? <murmurs "hey, Jennifer,
let him do it, he will see what you suffer from him...>
->##Jennifer: Then where does all that excess panic go? Is your hair
->##falling out?
->#I've adapted... now I feed on panic, and only occasionnaly eat
->#*real* food, just to remind myself of the taste...
->Jennifer: Did this transformation take place when you became a
->purple alien? (This will sound very strange to anyone who hasn't
->been following this conversation!)
You mean even stranger than the rest of the post? But no, the
adaptation took place long before the transformation... it helped me
realize I could adapt to any situation I faced, so it may be viewed as
the first step of my transformation, though...
->#Well, you reminded me it wasn't my ego I wanted to get bruised...
->Jennifer: And you rejected that offer. Remind yourself of that!
->(*smile*)
Me, reject anything? I wouldn't be so cruel! Let's say I gently pushed
the proposition aside...
->##Jennifer: It must be. That's the third time you've repeated that
->#line.
->#<OUCH!>
->Jennifer (smiling): Phanton pain?
No, bruised ego... which you reminded me I didn't enjoy...
->####|Hey, my folks didn't teach me humilty, thay taught me
*realism*!
->####Jennifer: What happened to it?
->###I went into teaching... does that answer your question?
->##Jennifer: Yes. You gave up on it, hmm?
->#No, it deserted on me...
->Jennifer: It figured you were a lost cause?
No, I think it was a retaliation mesure... I didn't believe in it
anymore, it decided not to bother believing in me...
->##Jennifer: Oh, are we playing for points? I think you deserve a few
->##yourself.
->#
->#Thanks! I don't know if I should play for points. I considered
doing
->#it, but it brought such *horribles* puns to what serves as my mind
->#that I took pity on you all... I mean, I had these posts ready to
be
->#sent, so I reread them as always to catch misspellings, and they
->where
->#sooo awfoul I coudn't decently send them...
->Jennifer: You have a sense of decency? Where did you get it? I'd
->like to find one for Cruiser.
Well, there I was, crawling the Net, and suddenly (well, suddenly take
a hour or two, the speed my lines allows me), I found this little
lonely thing in a corner, so I had to adopt it... I think the only way
you might get Cruiser to catch one is to give him an account... (oh,
that was a low blow...)
->Cruiser: ::Decency isn't made for canines.::
I'm sure you could find one tailor-made for you... you wouldn't reject
a gift!
->###I would have *sold* them...)
->##Cruiser: ::Too bad. You might have exchanged them for a look at
->##the
->##book.::
->#You know, I've got tons of other nice ideas....
->Jennifer: And you're going to keep them to yourself, aren't you?
Depends of the number of pages I get to see... <greedy grin>
->###well, you see, presently I'm a little shy of the "seizing"
->###stuff... It's not the seizing per see, you know, just what
happens after...
->##Jennifer: You mean it's all in where you put your hands? (*wicked
->##smile*)
->#
->#Tanya! Come here again!
->Jennifer: I told you--I'm not teaching that!
Too bad, you've obviously got dispositions <g>
->#Responsible, me? I should assign you for libel!
->Jennifer: But your testimony wouldn't be good in court. If you're
->insane, you can't sue anyone!
No, if I'm insane, nobody can sue me... but here, at least, I may sue
anybody (or more exactly I can get somebody to sue on my behalf...)
->You do fit in here!
Hey, I hope so... at least at long as "there" isn't a little urn...
->#FiX, insanity's child and madness' brother...
->Jennifer: You're adopted and you have another sibling you haven't
->mentioned?
Well, ever heard of cangelings?....
-> Jennifer of White Shadow
-> Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
FiX
jen...@mi.net
#
###Well, I'm not used to misspelling, at least in French... I mean, I
###always whine and gripe at my students because "when you'll look for
###a job, the first thing they will look for is misspellings", so I've
###got to be faultless on that score.
#
##Jennifer: Just on that score? (*smile*)
#
#Regarding the courses? Surely! The first thing I tell my students is
#"I'm not God-allmighty (though it's a close thing),
Cruiser: ::Maybe you're like me. Some kind of divine force of
destruction.
Of course, you don't have my expertise. But who does?::
#thus I may tell you stupid things... i fou think I do, your *duty* is
to
tell #me"...of course, it almost never works that way,
Jennifer: Your students don't speak up as much as the people on this
NG?
#and I keep finding errors in what I just wrote (try writing on a
board for
two #to four hours in a row, and then count your errors... you'll be
surprised!)
Jennifer: No, I wouldn't! If I wrote anything for four hours straight,
I
would only be surprised if my writing were coherent at the end of it.
#
###Do you mean I'm your superior? :-)
#
##Cruiser: ::You could think that if it makes you feel better! *toothy
##grin*::
#
#Cheat! That was supposed to be *my* line for this post!
Jennifer: Uh oh...does this mean Cruiser has a touch of foresight?
Cruiser: ::I'm not telling!::
#
###come here, Cruiser, we'll think of some things to help her
###understand what *real fun* is... :-)
#
##Jennifer: I don't think he needs the encouragement. Besides, I
##understand his sense of *real fun* all to well. If yours is anything
##like his, then I'm definitely not letting you talk to him!
#
#Hum, Jennifer? Notice all the littles signs there on your screen?
That
#was me speaking to Cruiser... I'm afraid you're a little late on that
#score...
Jennifer: I meant without me present. But I may not even have much
control
over that. Cruiser still hasn't given up on the idea of having his own
mailbox...
Cruiser: ::You expected me to? Why? I never give up on anything
else...
Jennifer: (*sigh*) Call it a delusion, Cruiser.
#
##Cruiser: ::You can't stop me! What do you have in mind, FiX? I
##haven't had any really good fun in minutes...::
#
#Well, for a start, I think I heard Jennifer speak of snowsstorm in
#another post... I can think of *lots* of fascinating things to do
with
#snow, a leash, and Jennifer at the other end of the leash...
Jennifer: If I had a wicked mind and took offense easily, I would say
something very bad right now...But I'll play innocent and presume you
were
referring to things Cruiser could do.
Cruiser: ::My Lady and I did try going for a walk during a snow-storm
a few
days ago...::
Jennifer: This was before the roads were cleared. Cruiser is
light-footed
enough to run over the snow while I had to wade through it. It was not
fun.::
Cruiser: ::It was for me!::
#
###Wow! I hadn't even seen this when I wrote the previous sentence...
###mind-sharing, maybe?
#
##Jennifer: I thought you said you didn't have one. Remember that was
##going to be your defense? How can you share what you don't have?
##*smile* (Oh, that was a bit harsh. I should take that back. Maybe
##later...)
#
#Brain! I said brain (or at least, I meant brain, but lacking one, I
#may have made a little mistake)... I've got a wonderful mind, but it
#doesn't need any brain!
Jennifer: I'd better record this. You just admitted you "may" have
made a
mistake...
#
###That's what I tell my fan-club, but somehow they don't seem to
###believe me...
#
##Jennifer: Funny...I've never heard anyone call a lynch-mob a "fan
##club" before...
#
#How else would you call people who all want to get a piece of me?
Jennifer: Specimen-collectors?
#
####Jennifer: There's honesty and then there's Cruiser's honesty...
###
###Naah, there's woman honesty ("FiX, I'm sorry, I just crashed your
###HD... you'll have to rebuild the FAT by hand... I hope you're not
###angry?") and there's male honesty ("Gee, love, there just was this
###wind coming from nowhere, and <crash#, there went your mother's
###prefered vase!"):-)
#
##Jennifer (laughing): Sounds like you speak from personal
#experience...
#
#Yeah, I've had to rebuild my computer's FAT quite a few times... Oh,
#you mean the *other* part of the sentence? Naaah, not me... <g#
Jennifer: And this is male honesty, right? (*smile*)
#
####Jennifer: You'd like to be a specimen?
###
###Well, since it'll likely become my fate someday (sign reads "here
#is
###the last man on earth who dared make sexist jokes! At least, what's
###left of him"), I try to get used to the idea...
#
##Jennifer: Do you want that on your headstone? Or should they just
##write that up in the lab report? But you shouldn't get used to the
##idea. It takes all the fun out of the game.
#
#Hey, *I*'m supposed to get all the fun!
Jennifer: You mean the ladies' actions amuse you? Maybe you shouldn't
let
them know that.
#
###(though I somteimes get these flash of sanity,
#
##Jennifer: Which you obviously ignore...
#
###when François-Xavier tells me "you should" <shudders at the thought
##of
##being sane#)
#
##Jennifer: I thought Francois-Xavier was the crazy personality...
#
#No, François-Xavier iss the "official" personnality, the one I use
#when I've got to appear sane, like when looking for a job...
Jennifer: The mundane personality. We all have one of those.
Cruiser: ::Not me!::
Jennifer: Yes, even you, Cruiser. Many people in the mundane world see
you
as an ordinary dog. We know that isn't the truth. But it does provide
you
with a convenient cover...
#thoough, thinking about it, he *loves* working and being serious...
yeah,
#you've got it right, François-Xavier's the crazy one! Me, I just get
#these headaches...
Jennifer: I have only one headache and his name is Cruiser...
Cruiser: ::Thank-you!::
---[bomb shelter]---
####Jennifer: I hope that shelter is in an isolated area...
#
###Well, you see, there's hardly anybody *under* the Eiffel tower...
#
##Jennifer: You'd let Cruiser destroy a national monument? Shame,
##shame!
#
#Why? I think it would make for a great sight, whatwhing the top of
the
#tower tremble, slightly tip over and gain momentum until it
#magestically crashes on the Champ de mars...
Cruiser: ::Hey that sounds like FUN!::
Jennifer: Now everyone can see why your idea of fun worries me...
#Ooooh, I can't wait to have Cruiser there!
Jennifer: I think you're going to have to wait a while. I can't, in
good
conscience, let him visit knowing what you two have planned. I'm
supposed to
prevent his disasters, not encourage them.
Cruiser: ::You could forget...Besides, you have to sleep sometime. I
could
go then!::
#Besides, think of all the cute souvenirs this would make... "Effeil
towers,
#Effeil towers made in the metal of the original one! Who hasn't got
his
Effeil #tower yet?" and so on... and the potacards! ...
Cruiser: ::Don't forget film rights! This could be bigger than
Godzilla!
He's one of my personal heroes...*toothy grin*::
#well, if Cruiser doesn't show up, I will have to convince the tourist
ministry #of the greatness of the idea...
Jennifer: I can imagine how they might respond to your "great idea".
You
could test the insanity defense when they arrest you...
#
##Jennifer: Some of your posts sound more like you're seeking to be
##murdered rather than seeking thrills...
#
#<mumbles "what can I say? I'm a scientist, I love new experiments?"
#looks at his previous posts... "no, been here, done that..."... "I'm
#always trying to please?" ... "Naaa, they wouldn't want to make my
#mother cry"...# Hey, that's a good one! They wouldn't want to make my
#poor, old, suffering mother cry, now, would they?... <"at least it's
#woth a try..."#
Jennifer: What would your mother think of you calling her "old"?
Besides,
from what you've said of your childhood years, it sounds like she
knows what
suffering is...You did say you were a creative child.
###Yes, it was a typo...
#
##Jennifer (smiling): I thought you didn't misspell in French...
#
#Nonono, it's not a misspelling, it's just that my fingers, having no
#brain to guide them, sometimes do what they want and not what I ask
#them to do...
Jennifer: Does anyone see you talking to your fingers? Isn't that a
bit hard
to explain?
#
####Jennifer: I'm not surprised. Although I've usually heard of
####Cruiser's relatives guarding sheep, not cattle.
###
###You're absolutely right, I think I must get my intelligence pills,
###I sure am dumb these days...
#
##Jennifer: Your students stealing your supply?
#
#Oh, I wish, you've got no idea of how much relaxing things would be
#then...
Jennifer: Not necessarily. Cruiser is intelligent. Imagine what would
happen
if your students became intelligent in the same way he is...
Cruiser: ::What's wrong with that?::
#
##Cruiser: ::Never question how a canine chooses to guard you! Just be
##grateful!::
#
#Grovel grovel grovel Yes, master, I wont doubt you again master I'll
#be a good little boy now master! <g#
Cruiser: ::That's better. Wait...what does the <g# mean? Is this more
human
sarcasm?::
##Jennifer: And be well insured...
#
#[oh, hell! edited a relevant part of the post! Cruiser said he could
#be an unspeakable menace, but that in holy terror form people found
#him cute and threw him food... I pointed out that *hungry*
unspeakable
#menace got food very rapidly, thank you, and Cruiser said he would
#think about it]
#
###Hum, Jennifer, I'd say I'm sorry, but would you really believe me?
#
##Jennifer: You might try...
#
#I'm sorry, I'm sorry! <gets on his knees, hand over the heart, eyes
#shamefully cast down, mouth trembling# You can't know how sorry I am
#<g# (huh, that is <g# as in <groan#, of course! <g#)
Cruiser: ::Is that what the <g# means? Is he groaning in pain?::
Jennifer: No, Cruiser. That would be me groaning at very bad
sarcasm...
#
##Cruiser: I'm done thinking. I *like* that idea!
#
#<quickly throws his refrigerator's content in Cruiser's general
#direction# OSHIT! Hum, Jennifer, do you think Cruiser's able to open
a
#wine bottle? Well, maybe it will break before arriving...
Cruiser: ::Oh boy--you mean I get to find out what being drunk is
like?::
Jennifer: Yes, he could open it...If he drinks any of that wine, I am
sending him to visit you! A sober Cruiser causes controlled
destruction and
that is bad enough. A drunken Cruiser would cause uncontrolled
destruction
and I don't want to be around to see that...
#
###I though exercise was good for health?
#
##Jennifer: Yes. But I've heard about excessive exercise bringing on
##heart attacks...
#
#Ah, you know, right now I'm more concerned about a grouppie attack...
#<see the fumes under my soles? It's the space void burning because of
#the friction...#
Jennifer: Guess you can't run forever...
#
##Jennifer: He couldn't eat constantly. There's not enough food in the
##world,
##not even on this NG.
#
###congratulation, Cruiser, I think you deserve the highest mark for
##your
##speed at #eating...
#
##Cruiser: ::Open your fridge and I'll give you a demonstration...::
#
#Done that, watching now...
Cruiser: ::My Lady's watching too and she doesn't look happy. I'll
give you
a demonstration when she's not watching. It's more fun that way.::
#
###You know, it's a pity you never met my parents when I was a
###teenager, you would have gotten along really well...
#
##Jennifer: Is it too late to send your parents a condolence card?
##(*smile*)
#
#I wouldn't do that, I actually managed to convinced them I've <groan#
#grown up since then...
Jennifer: You mean they see only the "Francois-Xavier" personality?
#
###See, Jennifer? He's a good boy, he wants you to feel happy!
#
##Jennifer: He'd like me to delude myself.
#
#Isn't it the same thing? Regarding Cruiser and
tact/obedience/humility
#at least?
Jennifer: I suppose it is...I read that a psychologist once said that
happiness is a delusion. I didn't believe him until I met Cruiser...
#
##Cruiser: ::Why not? Human superiority is a delusion most humans are
##very attached to.::
#
#Most humans haven't met you (poor souls)!
Cruiser: ::It is too bad, isn't it? They never get to know the majesty
of my
presence or the creativity of my mind.::
Jennifer (quietly): Then there's some hope for the world...
#
#####fondue, and no you can't steal it, it's full of alcohol...
#
##Jennifer: We do have a recipe section. Maybe you should post it.
#
#I'd love posting recipes there, but there's this little problem: I
#couldn't translate it in english, as I don't know the english name of
#most ingredients, and I don't know if anybody in the group could...
#I've got some favourite dishes I would post too, but there's this
#little matter of translation...
Jennifer: You could send me the recipe. I could try to translate it.
Cruiser: ::Or you could send me the dish and I could sample it for
you!::
#
###it's really good, but there's
###one catch: you have to drink wine with it, because otherwise the
###cheese will not be digestible, so you've got to be *really
###careful*, or you end up drunk...
#
##Jennifer: Did you respond to this after you ate?
#
#Do you mean I've got to be drunk to be funny? Snif, sniff, BOOO!
Jennifer: I don't know. Do you usually eat before you answer this?
(*smile*)
#
###Yeah, it's a sense linked with common sense... once you loose the
###latter, the former kind of fades away...
#
##Jennifer: Lack of use, I suppose. (*smile*)
#
#No, I always listened to my common sense (as long as it lasted, that
#is), but never followed its advice... You know what they say: know
#your ennemy...
Jennifer: I think you only listened to your common sense as much as
Cruiser
listens to me...
#
##Jennifer: Could it be that you look ahead? Maybe you don't have
##foresight, but hindsight.
#
#Hey, that would be cheating! No, I think it's a case of sentences
#crying for a mate, and, because we are sensitive people, we both try
#to alleviate their pain...
Jennifer: Or we're both cheating...(*smile*)
#
###Hey, they've got to catch me first!
#
##Jennifer: They'll take that as challenge, of course.
#
#I'd be sad if they didn't!
Jennifer: But alive if they didn't...
#
###Of course, since apparently it was Kyrra who played with my map of
###the galaxy, they might ambush me...
#
##Jennifer: Maybe you shouldn't be giving them any ideas.
#
#You should always give people the hope they might, if very lucky,
#someday almost win...
Jennifer: I live on that hope.
Cruiser: ::It's the least I can do for her.::
#
####Jennifer: And they let you teach impressionable
###students....Shocking! (*smile*)
###
###Hey, they tried getting sensible people to teach, but being
###sensible they declined the offer. Thus they had to look for people
###who would accept the job...
#
##Jennifer: Why not try a lottery system? "Guess what you just won?! A
##class of forty screaming students...!!!"
#
#Hey, don't start giving them ideas, that's *my job* on the line!
Jennifer: With your luck, you'd win *that* lottery...
#
###They started by asking mentally deficient people, who where not
##*that* dumb, and #proceeded downhill... Finally, they had to ask me,
##nobody else was remaining...
#
##Jennifer: Are you saying you'd rather not be a teacher?
#
#No, it's one of the funniest jobs in life... it's also one of the
most
#depressing ("I've used seventeen ways of explaining this, and they
#still don't understand"),
Jnnifer: It's times like that when you need this NG...
#nerve-shattering ("what will *(s)he* (there's always one student in a
class
#that will always ask the most awkward questions...not really stupid,
just
#awkward) ask me now?")
Jennifer: There is one in every class and it's akward whther you the
teacher
or another student...
#jobs, but on the whole making people *think* is really rewarding...
Jennifer: You sound more hopeful this time. Last time you mentioned
this,
you weren't sure if they *were* thinking...
#
##Jennifer: You have heard them then! Most of the province knows when
##Cruiser is having a good day. They hear him barking!
#
#Oh, *that*'s why I sometimes wake up in the night wondering why all
#the dogs in my vinicity are barking! They've heard Cruiser and share
#his joy...
Jennifer: More foreight? Or have you been reading ahead?
Cruiser: ::We canines have a worldwide barking contest going on. Every
second of every day, there is some canine somewhere barking. We've
been
doing this for thousands of years. Sometimes, it's more than one
canine. The
rest of us just want to make sure the one guy doesn't lose his voice
and we
have start all over...::
#
##Cruiser: ::Why shouldn't they share in my joy? When I'm happy, it
##means--::
#
##Jennifer: ...you've done something bad and I haven't found out about
##it yet.
#
#Wow, that's the purest of joy, having done something funny and the
#recipicient of the joke not being yet aware of it...
Cruiser: ::Are you calling my creativity a joke?::
Jennifer: I think you may have offended him, FiX.
##Cruiser: ::Yes! And I like to spread my joy around.::
#
##Jennifer: Making us all deaf in the process.
#
#I think it's spoiled Cruiser at work again: ::she can always hear me
#in her mind, why would she use her ears?::
Jennifer: Except that he also likes to chatter in my thoughts and that
makes
it hard to think...
#
###Shh, Cruiser, don't feel sad, she wouldn't give you away...
#firstly,
###she loves you, and then I think she would find the calm
##distressing...
#
##Jennifer: I'm not even sure I remember what it is...
#
#Yes, that's exactly what I mean, people always are distressed in
#unusual situations...
Jennifer: So you mean I am unconsciously keeping Cruiser with me
because I'm
afraid of returning to an unfamiliar state of calm?
#
###speaking of which, I haven't heard you bringing hell on earth
#lately,
###what's going on? Are you ill? <*very* wicked smile#
#
##Jennifer: You didn't hear about the mild earthquake in Ontario and
##Quebec? I think that was him, but he won't admit it.
#
##Cruiser: ::Don't want anyone stealing my secrets.::
#
#Wow, going from Terre-Neuve
Jennifer: We live in New Brunswick, not Newfoundland. Same part of the
country, but not the same province.
#to Ontario to Quebec *without Jennifer noticing it* is quite a feat,
Cruiser! I #think you are enticled to feeling proud!
Cruiser: ::I am proud. I've been telling all of my friends.::
Jennifer: Do you hear the dogs barking again? That's what happens when
Cruiser tells his friends...
#
###you really would love teaching, I think. You should go into
###teaching, by the way, teachers who love their jobs are so rare...
#
##Jennifer: As I said, I'm considering it. Do you? I promise I won't
##tell your students.
#
#Oh YEAH! It's a little alike to voting, you know... I've got these
#rights given me by society, but I've got duties to the society as
#well. When I'm teaching, I'm trying to help people being an integral
#part of society, with responsibilities and opportunities
#well-balanced...
Jennifer: Even if you're not well-balanced yourself? (*smile*)
#it not only is *fun* (as in mind-challenging) to teach, but you also
get to
#take your responsibilities and act upon them! Besides, there are some
chi^H^H^H #women in the classes I teach... :-)
Jennifer: Is that why it's "mind-challenging"? (*smile*)
#
####Cruiser: ::Oh, something new for me to learn!::
###
###See how friendly I am? I'm always trying to think of new
###experiences for you!
#
##Jennifer: Not that I'm trying to curb your creativity, but could you
##tell me before you tell Cruiser? We do have some laws in this
##country...
#
#Oh, I think this one is safe...
Jennifer: Safe for whom?
#
#####ever tried reading Bone, or The Books of Magic?
#
####Jennifer: No, I haven't tried them. I've never heard of Bone.
#
###Oh, you should! It's a fantasy comics, it's *FUN* and it's quite
#well
###distributed... the 16 (I think) first issues have been collected in
###two books, and the third collection will probably soon be out (the
###current issue is #23). The only dissatisfying thing with it is his
###parution rate... Jeff Smith (the creator) is *very* slow...
#
##Jennifer: Must be testing to see if his fans think his comics are
##worth waiting for...How long has been doing the series?
#
#Around three years, I think...
Jennifer: Didn't take long for it to become popular then.
#
###Great line, isn't it? And it's not the only one... I really should
###include some in my various .sigs...
#
##Jennifer: Why not? I think there's a contest going on for the
##longest sig.
#
#I'd rather do the Vicki thing, and make a program to randomize my
#signature... I haven't got the time for now, though, so I just
collect
#great lines in a file...
Jennifer: I wonder if yours will be "random" enough to predict your
mood
like Vicki's does.
#
####Jennifer: The "scapegoat" personality. That's not fair. You'll
####crush his young mind.
#
###It's for his own good!
#
##Cruiser: ::That would be like my Lady tying me up and telling me it
##was for my own good!::
#
##Jennifer: I only tried that twice. I tied him to a tree in the front
##yard with a lot of rope so he could move around. He broke the rope.
##Then I tried a chain. He broke that too. After that, I decided it
##wasn't worth it...
#
#<LOL# that would have been before he was fully grown, wouldn't it?
Jennifer: Of course. I wouldn't try it now. He'd pull over the tree
too!
#
#####You know, Cruiser, being cute is not *all* it's rumored to be...
#####ask Fluffy, for example...
#
####Cruiser: ::He ran out of "cute points". I have a lifetime
#supply!::
#
###Well, Fluffy had a nine lifetimes supply of cute points, but they
###seem to have disapeared quite fast...
#
##Cruiser: ::I'm the immortal force of destruction. Mine will never
##run out!::
#
#Jennifer, I think you should read Cruiser "the man with the golden
#brain" from Dino Buzzati...
Cruiser: ::I can read myself. What's it about?::
#
###Great, I wouldn't want Cruiser to lack a purpose in life... though
###he's got quite a supply of those: eating, having fun, eating,
###making your life interesting,
#
##Jennifer: That reminds me of the Shin'a'in curse: "May you live in
##interesting times."
#
#Well, this is abm-l, I had to make at least a passing reference to
her
#books... couldn't remember the exact quote, though...
Jennifer: I'm sure someone on here could tell us.
#
###eating, using all your sanity in one day, eating...
#
##Jennifer: I think my sanity was gone in less than a day. He works
##quickly.
#
##Cruiser: ::I'm a busy canine, aren't I?::
# ^^^^^^^^
#I've seen this used by other people, too... I've always been told it
#should read "am I not?"... is this american english, or were my
#teachers some centuries behind linguisticly speazking?
Jennifer: You're right. It's linguisticly incorrect. As an English
major, I
can't use it. But Cruiser, who speaks English slang, can. It's never
made
much sense to me either. But you know how English is for contractions.
Saying "amn't I" makes no sense. So people who wanted a shorter way of
saying "am I not" started using "aren't I".
#
####Cruiser: ::Thanks, FiX. How about--"Cruiser, Divine Force of
####Destruction!"?::
#
###That's great! Uh, how would you feel about a sidekick? I'm asking
###on Gogol's behalf, he's quite excited by the prospect...
#
##Jennifer: Still trying to get rid of him?
#
#Would I do that? I mean, he's a pain in the behind,
Jennifer: I thought he was a pain in the head. The cause of your
"headaches"...
#he's got even less sense than me
Jennifer: How's that possible? I thought you said you had none at all.
#and does things I actually find dangerous, but me getting rid of him?
Naaah! #<smile#
Jennifer: Of course not...(*smile*)
#
##Cruiser: ::A sidekick? Maybe a protege...::
#
#Would you like protecting him from himself?
Cruiser: I could do that. People with no sense are fun to be around.
#<murmurs "hey, Jennifer, let him do it, he will see what you suffer
from
#him...#
Jennifer (to FiX): I doubt that...Besides, what if they learn from
each
other? We would then have twice the problem we have now.
#
####Jennifer: Then where does all that excess panic go? Is your hair
####falling out?
#
###I've adapted... now I feed on panic, and only occasionnaly eat
###*real* food, just to remind myself of the taste...
#
##Jennifer: Did this transformation take place when you became a
##purple alien? (This will sound very strange to anyone who hasn't
##been following this conversation!)
#
#You mean even stranger than the rest of the post? But no, the
#adaptation took place long before the transformation... it helped me
#realize I could adapt to any situation I faced, so it may be viewed
as
#the first step of my transformation, though...
Jennifer: Feeding on excess panic leads to turning into a purple
alien...You
should publish these findings...
#
###Well, you reminded me it wasn't my ego I wanted to get bruised...
#
##Jennifer: And you rejected that offer. Remind yourself of that!
##(*smile*)
#
#Me, reject anything? I wouldn't be so cruel! Let's say I gently
pushed
#the proposition aside...
Jennifer: You took it as a proposition? (innocently)
#
####Jennifer: It must be. That's the third time you've repeated that
###line.
#
###<OUCH!#
#
##Jennifer (smiling): Phantom pain?
#
#No, bruised ego... which you reminded me I didn't enjoy...
Jennifer: But you did say you enjoyed some kinds of bruising...
#
######|Hey, my folks didn't teach me humilty, thay taught me
#*realism*!
#
######Jennifer: What happened to it?
#
#####I went into teaching... does that answer your question?
#
####Jennifer: Yes. You gave up on it, hmm?
#
###No, it deserted on me...
#
##Jennifer: It figured you were a lost cause?
#
#No, I think it was a retaliation mesure... I didn't believe in it
#anymore, it decided not to bother believing in me...
Jennifer: You have to believe in it? No wonder I can't teach Cruiser
humility. He won't even admit that it exists.
#
####Jennifer: Oh, are we playing for points? I think you deserve a few
####yourself.
###
###Thanks! I don't know if I should play for points. I considered
#doing
###it, but it brought such *horribles* puns to what serves as my mind
###that I took pity on you all... I mean, I had these posts ready to
#be
###sent, so I reread them as always to catch misspellings, and they
##where
###sooo awfoul I coudn't decently send them...
#
##Jennifer: You have a sense of decency? Where did you get it? I'd
##like to find one for Cruiser.
#
#Well, there I was, crawling the Net, and suddenly (well, suddenly
take
#a hour or two, the speed my lines allows me), I found this little
#lonely thing in a corner, so I had to adopt it... I think the only
way
#you might get Cruiser to catch one is to give him an account... (oh,
#that was a low blow...)
Jennifer: A low blow that may deserve another kind of blow...But no,
I'm not
a violent person. Nor any I the type of person who would let Cruiser
have
his own account.
Cruiser (grumbling): Mean type of person...
#
##Cruiser: ::Decency isn't made for canines.::
#
#I'm sure you could find one tailor-made for you... you wouldn't
reject
#a gift!
Cruiser: ::How could I accept something I don't believe in? *toothy
grin*::
#
#####I would have *sold* them...)
#
####Cruiser: ::Too bad. You might have exchanged them for a look at
####the
####book.::
#
###You know, I've got tons of other nice ideas....
#
##Jennifer: And you're going to keep them to yourself, aren't you?
#
#Depends of the number of pages I get to see... <greedy grin#
Jennifer: How about "none at all"?
Cruiser: ::Hey, I should be the one negotiating!::
#
#####well, you see, presently I'm a little shy of the "seizing"
#####stuff... It's not the seizing per see, you know, just what
#happens after...
#
####Jennifer: You mean it's all in where you put your hands? (*wicked
####smile*)
###
###Tanya! Come here again!
#
##Jennifer: I told you--I'm not teaching that!
#
#Too bad, you've obviously got dispositions <g#
Jennifer: Not that kind of disposition! (*smile*)
#
###Responsible, me? I should assign you for libel!
#
##Jennifer: But your testimony wouldn't be good in court. If you're
##insane, you can't sue anyone!
#
#No, if I'm insane, nobody can sue me... but here, at least, I may sue
#anybody (or more exactly I can get somebody to sue on my behalf...)
Jennifer: Somebody like Gogol? You think the court would accept him?
#
##You do fit in here!
#
#Hey, I hope so... at least at long as "there" isn't a little urn...
Jennifer (laughing): I think what they had in mind were specimen
jars...
#
###FiX, insanity's child and madness' brother...
#
##Jennifer: You're adopted and you have another sibling you haven't
##mentioned?
#
#Well, ever heard of changelings?....
Jennifer: Yes. I think the sweet, docile puppy my familt adopted was
"exchanged" for Cruiser...
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
-> Another installment...
->#"I'm not God-allmighty (though it's a close thing),
->Cruiser: ::Maybe you're like me. Some kind of divine force of
->destruction. Of course, you don't have my expertise. But who does?::
No, I'm not really a divine force of destruction... I'm only *the*
divine force responsible of pranks, practical jokes, sexist remarks
(yes, I know, they fall under the "practical joke" thingy, but I feel
they deserve a corner of the Universe for themselves) and assorted
puns...
->Jennifer: Your students don't speak up as much as the people on this
->NG?
Yes, they do, only never to me...
->#and I keep finding errors in what I just wrote (try writing on a
->board for
->two #to four hours in a row, and then count your errors... you'll be
->surprised!)
->Jennifer: No, I wouldn't! If I wrote anything for four hours
->straight, I would only be surprised if my writing were coherent at
->the end of it.
Who said anything about coherent? I did NOT say I wrote anything
coherent! I wouldn't denigrate myself...
->###Do you mean I'm your superior? :-)
->##Cruiser: ::You could think that if it makes you feel better!
*toothy grin*::
->#
->#Cheat! That was supposed to be *my* line for this post!
->Jennifer: Uh oh...does this mean Cruiser has a touch of foresight?
No, it's just one of these canine things... you know, when people get
a "dog", they feel it funny that the first thing the "cute little
doggy" does is burrow in their garden... what they don't know is that
the canine has stolen their sense and wit, and is currently busy
hiding them in plain sight... it's just a canine thing, they cna't
repress the urge to steal...
->Cruiser: ::I'm not telling!::
->##Cruiser: ::You can't stop me! What do you have in mind, FiX? I
->##haven't had any really good fun in minutes...::
->#
->#Well, for a start, I think I heard Jennifer speak of snowsstorm in
->#another post... I can think of *lots* of fascinating things to do
->#with snow, a leash, and Jennifer at the other end of the leash...
->Jennifer: If I had a wicked mind and took offense easily, I would
->say something very bad right now...
See, you've been contaminated... but I'm curious: are you refering to
something which would have me say "Tan<giggles>ya! <LOL> Come
<snikers> here and <Gasp!> learn!"?
->But I'll play innocent and presume you were referring to things
->Cruiser could do.
Are you actually *admitting* you're not innocent?
->Cruiser: ::My Lady and I did try going for a walk during a
->snow-storm a few days ago...::
->Jennifer: This was before the roads were cleared. Cruiser is
->light-footed enough to run over the snow while I had to wade through
->it. It was not fun.::
->Cruiser: ::It was for me!::
I can easily imagine <gets this vision of cruiser running on snow,
with Jennifer trailed behind and eating snow by tankerful>...
->###That's what I tell my fan-club, but somehow they don't seem to
->###believe me...
->#
->##Jennifer: Funny...I've never heard anyone call a lynch-mob a "fan
->##club" before...
->#
->#How else would you call people who all want to get a piece of me?
->Jennifer: Specimen-collectors?
That's the same thing as fans, no? "Hey, I love butterfly! I love them
so much that I catch them and pin them down my album!"... <gets a
flash of insight> ...maybe I shouldn't give them ideas...
->#Hey, *I*'m supposed to get all the fun!
->Jennifer: You mean the ladies' actions amuse you? Maybe you
->shouldn't let them know that.
Why? Do you think if they know they'll stop chasing me? <worried look>
->#No, François-Xavier is the "official" personnality, the one I use
->#when I've got to appear sane, like when looking for a job...
->Jennifer: The mundane personality. We all have one of those.
François-Xavier: I'm *not* mundane! I just have a different sense of
fun that most people do! Ahh, solving differential equations, multiple
integrals and waiding through Schrödinger's equation! <blissful face>
On the other hand, just try making me cook...
FiX: He's right there... he isn't really a mundane personnality, just
one whose strangeness people think they understand...
->Cruiser: ::Not me!::
->Jennifer: Yes, even you, Cruiser. Many people in the mundane world
->see you as an ordinary dog. We know that isn't the truth. But it
->does provide you with a convenient cover...
->#Yeah, you've got it right, François-Xavier's the crazy one! Me, I
->#just get these headaches...
->Jennifer: I have only one headache and his name is Cruiser...
Yeah, but mines are short (in duration)... I think we're tied,
concerning this one...
->Cruiser: ::Thank-you!::
->---[bomb shelter]---
->####Jennifer: I hope that shelter is in an isolated area...
->#
->###Well, you see, there's hardly anybody *under* the Eiffel tower...
->#
->##Jennifer: You'd let Cruiser destroy a national monument? Shame,
->##shame!
->#
->#Why? I think it would make for a great sight, whatwhing the top of
->#the tower tremble, slightly tip over and gain momentum until it
->#magestically crashes on the Champ de mars...
->Cruiser: ::Hey that sounds like FUN!::
Hey, this is MY idea, *I* will do it! Unless, of course, you happen to
have some good food to share while we do it together...
->Jennifer: Now everyone can see why your idea of fun worries me...
Uuuh? No, I cna't say I see why this would worry you... unless, of
course, you planned being on the tower while it crashes...
->#Ooooh, I can't wait to have Cruiser there!
->Jennifer: I think you're going to have to wait a while. I can't, in
->good conscience, let him visit knowing what you two have planned.
->I'm supposed to prevent his disasters, not encourage them.
You've got to get a positive outlook in life! Now, look how strained a
life you've got when you try preventing his having fun: it never
works, and you're making yourself sick with worries... now, if you
would just participate, you'd have fun all the time!
->Cruiser: ::You could forget...Besides, you have to sleep sometime. I
->could go then!::
I think you've missed something by not being in school, Cruiser... if
you had been there, you'd know that the best kind of chaos is the one
the little shy girl in the first row has decided to create... I think
you should teach Jennifer how fun is much more interresting when
you're personnaly participating...
->#Besides, think of all the cute souvenirs this would make... "Effeil
->#towers, Effeil towers made in the metal of the original one! Who
->#hasn't got his Effeil tower yet?" and so on... and the potacards!
..
->Cruiser: ::Don't forget film rights! This could be bigger than
->Godzilla! He's one of my personal heroes...*toothy grin*::
Surely, you mean *you*'re one of his personnal heroes!
->#well, if Cruiser doesn't show up, I will have to convince the
->#tourism ministry of the greatness of the idea...
->Jennifer: I can imagine how they might respond to your "great idea".
->You could test the insanity defense when they arrest you...
I'm in France, remember? Insanity is a way of life, here...
-># Hey, that's a good one! They wouldn't want to make my
->#poor, old, suffering mother cry, now, would they?... <"at least
->#it's woth a try...">
->Jennifer: What would your mother think of you calling her "old"?
She's accustomed to it... usually, it's when I wnat her to buy
something I wnat: "Hey, you're an old, frail woman, you know? How
about buying this nifty little 10000$ gadget, which I can use to make
your life better? They *do* say money doesn't bring happiness, you
know"... somehow, it never seems to convince her... maybe it's because
that "frail" woman is the only force in the universe that can reduce
me to a cowering, whimpering little wreck...
->Besides, from what you've said of your childhood years, it sounds
->like she knows what suffering is...You did say you were a creative
->child.
<proudly> I must admit I was... and no, it's not my mother who really
suffered... she always could see the funny side of things... on the
other hand, she rarely took the brunt of my jokes... my father, now,
has earned the status of immovable wall ("the only one who will no
break before unstoppable force")...
->###Yes, it was a typo...
->##Jennifer (smiling): I thought you didn't misspell in French...
->#Nonono, it's not a misspelling, it's just that my fingers, having
no
->#brain to guide them, sometimes do what they want and not what I ask
->#them to do...
->Jennifer: Does anyone see you talking to your fingers? Isn't that a
->bit hard to explain?
People don't ask me to explain things once they've known me for a few
seconds...
->####Jennifer: I'm not surprised. Although I've usually heard of
->####Cruiser's relatives guarding sheep, not cattle.
->###
->###You're absolutely right, I think I must get my intelligence
pills,
->###I sure am dumb these days...
->#
->##Jennifer: Your students stealing your supply?
->#
->#Oh, I wish, you've got no idea of how much relaxing things would be
->#then...
->Jennifer: Not necessarily. Cruiser is intelligent. Imagine what
->would happen if your students became intelligent in the same way he
is...
We could play together?
->Cruiser: ::What's wrong with that?::
->##Cruiser: ::Never question how a canine chooses to guard you! Just
be
->##grateful!::
->#
->#Grovel grovel grovel Yes, master, I wont doubt you again master
->#I'll be a good little boy now master! <g>
->Cruiser: ::That's better. Wait...what does the <g> mean? Is this
->more human sarcasm?::
Would I dare? <gg>
->##Jennifer: And be well insured...
->#
->#[oh, hell! edited a relevant part of the post! Cruiser said he
could
->#be an unspeakable menace, but that in holy terror form people found
->#him cute and threw him food... I pointed out that *hungry*
->unspeakable
->#menace got food very rapidly, thank you, and Cruiser said he would
->#think about it]
->#
->###Hum, Jennifer, I'd say I'm sorry, but would you really believe
me?
->#
->##Jennifer: You might try...
->#
->#I'm sorry, I'm sorry! <gets on his knees, hand over the heart, eyes
->#shamefully cast down, mouth trembling> You can't know how sorry I
->#am <g> (huh, that is <g> as in <groan>, of course! <g>)
->Cruiser: ::Is that what the <g> means? Is he groaning in pain?::
Of course, haven't you noticed the lines of pain barring Jennifer's
face when she reads my posts? It's the same thing here... <g again>
->Jennifer: No, Cruiser. That would be me groaning at very bad
->sarcasm...
Good sarcasm does exist? Little people below, I'll have to *think*
again, so I can find some... how boring can life become!
->##Cruiser: I'm done thinking. I *like* that idea!
->#
->#<quickly throws his refrigerator's content in Cruiser's general
->#direction# OSHIT! Hum, Jennifer, do you think Cruiser's able to
->#open a wine bottle? Well, maybe it will break before arriving...
->Cruiser: ::Oh boy--you mean I get to find out what being drunk is
->like?::
->Jennifer: Yes, he could open it...If he drinks any of that wine, I
->am sending him to visit you! A sober Cruiser causes controlled
->destruction and that is bad enough. A drunken Cruiser would cause
->uncontrolled destruction and I don't want to be around to see
->that...
Sorry, Jennifer, either you didn't send him in the right direction, or
he got mislead by the wine... the earthquake was in Asia, this time...
->###I though exercise was good for health?
->#
->##Jennifer: Yes. But I've heard about excessive exercise bringing on
->##heart attacks...
->#
->#Ah, you know, right now I'm more concerned about a grouppie
attack...
->#<see the fumes under my soles? It's the space void burning because
of
->#the friction...>
->Jennifer: Guess you can't run forever...
Well, *I* can, but can the universe bear this for long?
->###congratulation, Cruiser, I think you deserve the highest mark for
->##your speed at #eating...
->##Cruiser: ::Open your fridge and I'll give you a demonstration...::
->#Done that, watching now...
->Cruiser: ::My Lady's watching too and she doesn't look happy. I'll
->give you a demonstration when she's not watching. It's more fun that
->way.::
Is she done watching yet?
->###You know, it's a pity you never met my parents when I was a
->###teenager, you would have gotten along really well...
->#
->##Jennifer: Is it too late to send your parents a condolence card?
->##(*smile*)
->#I wouldn't do that, I actually managed to convinced them I've
-><groan> grown up since then...
->Jennifer: You mean they see only the "Francois-Xavier" personality?
No, I managed to make them redefine the meaning of the word "mature":
Mature is what I am, boring is what other people think "mature" is...
->###See, Jennifer? He's a good boy, he wants you to feel happy!
->##Jennifer: He'd like me to delude myself.
->#Isn't it the same thing? Regarding Cruiser and
->tact/obedience/humility at least?
->Jennifer: I suppose it is...I read that a psychologist once said
->that happiness is a delusion. I didn't believe him until I met
Cruiser...
But Cruiser isn't a delusion, and Cruiser sure sounds happy to me...
->##Cruiser: ::Why not? Human superiority is a delusion most humans
->##are very attached to.::
->#Most humans haven't met you (poor souls)!
->Cruiser: ::It is too bad, isn't it? They never get to know the
->majesty of my presence or the creativity of my mind.::
Well, some people don't know you, but have met me... I introduced them
to creativity, but somehow they don't seem very keen on making other
than a passing acquaintance with it...
->Jennifer (quietly): Then there's some hope for the world...
You know, I've got a *large* familly, and I taught many amongst
them...
->#I'd love posting recipes there, but there's this little problem: I
->#couldn't translate it in english, as I don't know the english name
->#of most ingredients, and I don't know if anybody in the group
could...
->#I've got some favourite dishes I would post too, but there's this
->#little matter of translation...
->Jennifer: You could send me the recipe. I could try to translate it.
OK, for a start I'll send you the receipe for the "coq au vin"... it's
fairly simple, so if you've got difficulties translating it other
receipes will probably be too... the problem, as I said, is in getting
the correct translation of the ingredients...
->Cruiser: ::Or you could send me the dish and I could sample it for
->you!::
Or you could come and sample my fridge (which I've replenished)...
->#Do you mean I've got to be drunk to be funny? Snif, sniff, BOOO!
->Jennifer: I don't know. Do you usually eat before you answer this?
->(*smile*)
Well, I'm very often eating... sometimes, I think Cruiser and me have
common ancestors, though they're not on my official genealogy tree...
but I rarely drink alcohol... maybe I'm drunk on savors...
->###Yeah, it's a sense linked with common sense... once you loose the
->###latter, the former kind of fades away...
->#
->##Jennifer: Lack of use, I suppose. (*smile*)
->#
->#No, I always listened to my common sense (as long as it lasted,
->#that is), but never followed its advice... You know what they say:
->#know your ennemy...
->Jennifer: I think you only listened to your common sense as much as
->Cruiser listens to me...
But Cruiser listens to you! I mean, he posts comments on what you've
just said regularly, so he must listen! Obeying, now, that's another
matter...
->##Jennifer: Could it be that you look ahead? Maybe you don't have
->##foresight, but hindsight.
->#
->#Hey, that would be cheating! No, I think it's a case of sentences
->#crying for a mate, and, because we are sensitive people, we both
->#try to alleviate their pain...
->Jennifer: Or we're both cheating...(*smile*)
As in giving the other great obvious follow-ups? Yes, I suppose we
do... don't tell the others, though, because they would feel we're
playing for points... unfairly...
->###Hey, they've got to catch me first!
->#
->##Jennifer: They'll take that as challenge, of course.
->#
->#I'd be sad if they didn't!
->Jennifer: But alive if they didn't...
Yes, but blissful for awhile if they catch me...
->####Jennifer: And they let you teach impressionable
->###students....Shocking! (*smile*)
->###
->###Hey, they tried getting sensible people to teach, but being
->###sensible they declined the offer. Thus they had to look for
people
->###who would accept the job...
->#
->##Jennifer: Why not try a lottery system? "Guess what you just won?!
A
->##class of forty screaming students...!!!"
->#
->#Hey, don't start giving them ideas, that's *my job* on the line!
->Jennifer: With your luck, you'd win *that* lottery...
Yeah, but there's always the chance there are some other lucky people
out there... my definition of lucky, that is, the one that goes "if
I'm lucky, they might even catch me"...
->#No, it's one of the funniest jobs in life... it's also one of the
most
->#depressing ("I've used seventeen ways of explaining this, and they
->#still don't understand"),
->Jennifer: It's times like that when you need this NG...
->#nerve-shattering ("what will *(s)he* (there's always one student in
->#a class that will always ask the most awkward questions...not
->#really stupid, just awkward) ask me now?")
->Jennifer: There is one in every class and it's akward whther you the
->teacher or another student...
Yes, but the teacher has to at least *try* answering that question...
->#jobs, but on the whole making people *think* is really rewarding...
->Jennifer: You sound more hopeful this time. Last time you mentioned
->this, you weren't sure if they *were* thinking...
Yeah, last time it was a different class... I'm teaching 5 different
groups (and 4 different levels), and one of them is... let's see...
*awesome*! Misunderstanding anything, not able to read the f******
board, uninterested... you've just got to think of all professors'
nightmare, and you know they're a pale copy of this class... the other
classes, though, range from medium to *really great*...
->##Jennifer: You have heard them then! Most of the province knows
when
->##Cruiser is having a good day. They hear him barking!
->#
->#Oh, *that*'s why I sometimes wake up in the night wondering why all
->#the dogs in my vinicity are barking! They've heard Cruiser and
->#share his joy...
->Jennifer: More foresight? Or have you been reading ahead?
Hum, doen't reading a post that doesn't exist yet count as foresight?
->Cruiser: ::We canines have a worldwide barking contest going on.
->Every second of every day, there is some canine somewhere barking.
->We've been doing this for thousands of years. Sometimes, it's more
->than one canine. The rest of us just want to make sure the one guy
->doesn't lose his voice and we have to start all over...::
Best explaination I've ever heard!
->##Cruiser: ::Why shouldn't they share in my joy? When I'm happy, it
->##means--::
->##Jennifer: ...you've done something bad and I haven't found out
about it yet.
->#Wow, that's the purest of joy, having done something funny and the
->#recipicient of the joke not being yet aware of it...
->Cruiser: ::Are you calling my creativity a joke?::
Well, no, I'm calling your hability to find new jokes (ie new ways to
have fun) creativity... that's what I've always been told... ("Ohh,
what a creative child! another way to create chaos! That's three in a
minute")...
->Jennifer: I think you may have offended him, FiX.
->##Cruiser: ::Yes! And I like to spread my joy around.::
->##Jennifer: Making us all deaf in the process.
->#I think it's spoiled Cruiser at work again: ::she can always hear
->#me in her mind, why would she use her ears?::
->Jennifer: Except that he also likes to chatter in my thoughts and
->that makes it hard to think...
It's his best bet for being able to have fun without you noticing...
filling your mind, so that you won't be able to anticipate his next
move...
->##I think she would find the calm distressing...
->##Jennifer: I'm not even sure I remember what it is...
->#Yes, that's exactly what I mean, people always are distressed in
->#unusual situations...
->Jennifer: So you mean I am unconsciously keeping Cruiser with me
->because I'm afraid of returning to an unfamiliar state of calm?
Something like that, yes. If you gave Cruiser away, you'd have calm,
which you couldn't stand, thus you'd have to be a bringer of chaos
yourelf, and you're afraid of feeling guilty if you let that part of
your mind take over... so you won't ever give him away... that way,
you can indirectly be responsible of a lot of chaos without feeling
guilty about it... besides, everybody knows you're just pretending
trying to make Cruiser stop having fun... oooh, I think I'm getting
ready to enter priesthood, I'm starding to ket a fonny agzent (read
"the real history of the universe" if you didn't understand the last
sentence...)
->#Wow, going from Terre-Neuve
->Jennifer: We live in New Brunswick, not Newfoundland. Same part of
->the country, but not the same province.
Baad fingers! Come here and get a beating!
->#to Ontario to Quebec *without Jennifer noticing it* is quite a
->#feat, Cruiser! I think you are enticled to feeling proud!
->Cruiser: ::I am proud. I've been telling all of my friends.::
->Jennifer: Do you hear the dogs barking again? That's what happens
->when Cruiser tells his friends...
Yeah, I heard them then... the troubling thing is I hear them right
now, too...
->Jennifer: Even if you're not well-balanced yourself? (*smile*)
Hey, I'm perfectly balanced: 50% insane, 25% chaos and 26% fun-lover!
That's 101% of pure bliss!
->#it not only is *fun* (as in mind-challenging) to teach, but you
->#also get to take your responsibilities and act upon them! Besides,
->#there are some chi^H^H^H women in the classes I teach... :-)
->Jennifer: Is that why it's "mind-challenging"? (*smile*)
Yeah, actually trying to make notions enter the head of women... Wow!
That's a challenge <62...63... ..71 feet now. Great!>
->#Oh, I think this one is safe...
->Jennifer: Safe for whom?
Safe for you... hum, that is, legally safe...
->#Around three years, I think...
->Jennifer: Didn't take long for it to become popular then.
No, it was in fact quite amazing: when issue #3 got out, there wasn't
an issue #1 available anymore, so Jeff Smith had to make a second
printing then.. I think we're in the 6/7th printing area now for issue
#1...
->#I'd rather do the Vicki thing, and make a program to randomize my
->#signature... I haven't got the time for now, though, so I just
collect
->#great lines in a file...
->Jennifer: I wonder if yours will be "random" enough to predict your
->mood like Vicki's does.
Are you trying to say I'm predictable? <outraged look>
->#####You know, Cruiser, being cute is not *all* it's rumored to
be...
->#####ask Fluffy, for example...
->#
->####Cruiser: ::He ran out of "cute points". I have a lifetime
->#supply!::
->#
->###Well, Fluffy had a nine lifetimes supply of cute points, but they
->###seem to have disapeared quite fast...
->#
->##Cruiser: ::I'm the immortal force of destruction. Mine will never
->##run out!::
->#
->#Jennifer, I think you should read Cruiser "the man with the golden
->#brain" from Dino Buzzati...
->Cruiser: ::I can read myself. What's it about?::
It's about this man who's got a golden brain. Litterally... you've got
to read it to get the point, I'm afraid... I wouldn't let Jennifer
read it, though, it's quite sexist (but quite good... I think the
story in itself had to be sexist so that the premises would work
correctly...)
->##Cruiser: ::I'm a busy canine, aren't I?::
-># ^^^^^^^^
->#I've seen this used by other people, too... I've always been told
it
->#should read "am I not?"... is this american english, or were my
->#teachers some centuries behind linguisticly speaking?
->Jennifer: You're right. It's linguisticly incorrect. As an English
->major, I can't use it. But Cruiser, who speaks English slang, can.
I very sparingly use English slang... I know the meaning, I even know
the exact translation of most slangs, but I don't really know the
"tone" they convey, so I'm afraid of unwillingly being *rude* to
people I've no intention of offending... for example, when in French I
tell somebody he's a SOB (well, in french, it's not SOB but there's a
slang with exactly the same meaning), I don't know if he'll be
offended: in French, depending of the context, it can become a
compliment...
->It's never made much sense to me either. But you know how English is
->for contractions. Saying "amn't I" makes no sense. So people who
->wanted a shorter way of saying "am I not" started using "aren't I".
Why does "aren't I" make more sense than "amen't I"? It would help
keeping the difference between myself and others...
->####Cruiser: ::Thanks, FiX. How about--"Cruiser, Divine Force of
->####Destruction!"?::
->###That's great! Uh, how would you feel about a sidekick? I'm asking
->###on Gogol's behalf, he's quite excited by the prospect...
->##Jennifer: Still trying to get rid of him?
->#Would I do that? I mean, he's a pain in the behind,
->Jennifer: I thought he was a pain in the head. The cause of your
->"headaches"...
H***, no, Gogol hasn't got a mind, so he doesn't have anything to do
with my headaches! My headaches are a perfectly natural phenomenon:
it's the pain caused by new nifty ideas wanting to come into my
head... as soon as they've arrived there, *I*'m not the one with the
headaches anymore...
->#he's got even less sense than me
->Jennifer: How's that possible? I thought you said you had none at
all.
That's why I pointed this out... in his way, Gogol is as much of a
genious as I am...
->##Cruiser: ::A sidekick? Maybe a protege...::
->#
->#Would you like protecting him from himself?
->Cruiser: I could do that. People with no sense are fun to be around.
It's not that he's got no sense. Freuds, I could live with that! It's
that he's got *less* than no sense!
->#<murmurs "hey, Jennifer, let him do it, he will see what you suffer
->from him...>
->Jennifer (to FiX): I doubt that...Besides, what if they learn from
->each other? We would then have twice the problem we have now.
Hum, no... if they learned from each other, *you*'d get twice the
problem we've got together... by hypothesis, Gogol would be with
Cruiser, then... oh, well, seems like I won't get rid of him this
easilly...
->Jennifer: Feeding on excess panic leads to turning into a purple
->alien...You should publish these findings...
A *cute* purple alien, thank you! But no, I shouldn't publish this,
I'd get ripped of by pale imitators... besides, I'm not doner with my
reasearch...
->###Well, you reminded me it wasn't my ego I wanted to get bruised...
->##Jennifer: And you rejected that offer. Remind yourself of that!
->##(*smile*)
->#Me, reject anything? I wouldn't be so cruel! Let's say I gently
->#pushed the proposition aside...
->Jennifer: You took it as a proposition? (innocently)
Well, "wanna get bruised? I'll do it!" sure looked like a proposition
to me... do you mean it wasn't one? Oh, woe, strazin, unhapiness!
<goes sulk in a corner>
->####Jennifer: It must be. That's the third time you've repeated that
->###line.
->#
->###<OUCH!#
->#
->##Jennifer (smiling): Phantom pain?
->#
->#No, bruised ego... which you reminded me I didn't enjoy...
->Jennifer: But you did say you enjoyed some kinds of bruising...
<confused> But you told me you wouldn't do it...
->######|Hey, my folks didn't teach me humilty, thay taught me
->#*realism*!
->#
->######Jennifer: What happened to it?
->#
->#####I went into teaching... does that answer your question?
->#
->####Jennifer: Yes. You gave up on it, hmm?
->#
->###No, it deserted on me...
->#
->##Jennifer: It figured you were a lost cause?
->#
->#No, I think it was a retaliation mesure... I didn't believe in it
->#anymore, it decided not to bother believing in me...
->Jennifer: You have to believe in it? No wonder I can't teach Cruiser
->humility. He won't even admit that it exists.
Yeah, Cruiser's got sense...
->#I think the only way you might get Cruiser to catch one is to give
->#him an account... (oh, that was a low blow...)
->Jennifer: A low blow that may deserve another kind of blow...But no,
->I'm not a violent person. Nor any I the type of person who would let
->Cruiser have his own account.
Ah, yes, I never quite grasp the difference between violence and
cruelty before...
->Cruiser (grumbling): Mean type of person...
->##Cruiser: ::Decency isn't made for canines.::
->#I'm sure you could find one tailor-made for you... you wouldn't
->#reject a gift!
->Cruiser: ::How could I accept something I don't believe in? *toothy
->grin*::
It could be hidden in a food offering... you do beleive in food, I
think... you'd be caught without a chance of escape, then...
->#####I would have *sold* them...)
->####Cruiser: ::Too bad. You might have exchanged them for a look at
->####the book.::
->###You know, I've got tons of other nice ideas....
->##Jennifer: And you're going to keep them to yourself, aren't you?
->#Depends of the number of pages I get to see... <greedy grin#
->Jennifer: How about "none at all"?
->Cruiser: ::Hey, I should be the one negotiating!::
Yeah, what you said... How about all of them?
->#No, if I'm insane, nobody can sue me... but here, at least, I may
->#sue anybody (or more exactly I can get somebody to sue on my
behalf...)
->Jennifer: Somebody like Gogol? You think the court would accept him?
No, I was thinking of François-Xavier... he can fake sanity
convincingly enough for a short time...
->##You do fit in here!
->#Hey, I hope so... at least at long as "there" isn't a little urn...
->Jennifer (laughing): I think what they had in mind were specimen
->jars...
It amounts to the same, now they've decided I would do great as an
ingredient in bond-bird pie...
->###FiX, insanity's child and madness' brother...
->##Jennifer: You're adopted and you have another sibling you haven't
->##mentioned?
->#Well, ever heard of changelings?....
->Jennifer: Yes. I think the sweet, docile puppy my familt adopted was
->"exchanged" for Cruiser...
But Cruiser is docile... he follows what his instinct tells him to do
without any kind of restrain...
-> Jennifer of White Shadow
-> Cruiser, the Mountain Heir
FiX, who starts feeling 73 feet in the mouths ae somwhat of an
inderance when you're having breakfast...
David Ball
[ HUMONGOUS SNIP ]
Well, David and Meth really love these, although we have
trouble tracking who'se talking sometimes....
What we've decided to do is award 3 points for the body of
work, and split them evenly, 1 each for Cruiser, Jennifer,
and FIX...
New Score:
Cruiser: 6
Jennifer: 4 and 1/2
Marlo: 3 and 1/2
Kyrra: 3 and 1/2
Evergreen 3 and 1/2
Firesong: 3
S. A. Miller: 2
FiX 2
Izzie: 1 and 1/2
Sarah: 1
Simon: 1
Vicki 1
Charley 1
Meredith 1
Herald Erica 1
Fluffy 1
D.H. 1
Spooky 1
Vree 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
David Ball: (not the singer) dave...@super.zippo.com
Middle Georgia WEB Magazine: http://www.mid-ga.com
Meth'Kilar: Dragon mage in a.b.m-l db...@ix.netcom.com
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