Tom Robbins ate my lunch
KazakOR
>if you're a smoker, "still life" will be your bible...
I'm not. I'm waiting for the Feds to take those scary lables off the packs
before I start.
Kazak
Isn't tobacco a vegetable?
KazakOR
>Seriously, if you don't like'em I'll send you a gift certificate for a
>cheeseburger.
Well, I read the first 10 pages last night and I think you're off the hook.
Thanks anyway.
Kazak
Jason
>
> Jason:
>
> >if you're a smoker, "still life" will be your bible...
>
> I'm not. I'm waiting for the Feds to take those scary lables off the packs
> before I start.
>
> Kazak
> Isn't tobacco a vegetable?
here in north carolina it is...
--
"...but i lied when i said that honesty was dead..."
-nomeansno
--remove nospam yadda yadda yadda--
Dale Kirby
KazakOR wrote:
Whew! I'll go tell my 9 kids there will be a Christmas next year after all.
Dale
Sadie Waddingham
> I bought two Tom Robbins novels today - "Skinny Legs and All" and "Still
Life
> with Woodpecker" - with my last $20, money that should have gone for
lunch!
Those were the first two that I bought! Hmmmm? I like SLAA the best (my
first and absolute favorite TR), though SLWW is great too.
> These books better be good or someone owes me a cheeseburger!
I'll buy you a whole cow! Milk it for the cheese and slaughter it and grind
it up. Can you settle for a bun and condiments from Safeway? It would really
take way too much time to have to till, plant and harvest to get you a whole
wheat bun, catsup, mustard and a pickle.
> Kazak
> Kissing up to Sadie
Sadie
Smooches!
Ed
<< I'll buy you a whole cow! Milk it for the cheese and slaughter it and
grind
it up. Can you settle for a bun and condiments from Safeway? It would really
take way too much time to have to till, plant and harvest to get you a whole
wheat bun, catsup, mustard and a pickle. >>
Actually, you have that quite backwards. It would take much less time to
grow the grains and distribute them than it would to raise a cow and prepare
it for consumption. There is also a considerable loss of protein in the
transition from wheat to cow. Tomatoes, mustard, and cucumber could be
grown and crushed or pickled for almost nothing while you were waiting on
your wheat harvest.
Laters...
Ed
shaneCNC
Vonnegut. My first exposure to both was via dusty old paperbacks found in
the garage... during junior high, no less. Which goes a long way toward
explaining those high school years... In truth, i took instantly to
vonnegut reading first BOC and following with Cat's Cradle, and so on.
Still Life with Woodpecker was the TR book, and i am sad to say that i have
yet to read it in it's entirety. For what it's worth, Trout Fishing in
America by Brautigan was also amongst those early reads. What an
interesting collection for my step father to have! I wonder why he's such
an asshole.
--
Shane Bonham
Business Manager
Cornerstone CNC Machining, Inc.
sh...@cornerstonecnc.com
http://www.cornerstonecnc.com
KazakOR <kaz...@aol.comehither> wrote in message
news:20000219171819...@ng-fl1.aol.com...
> I bought two Tom Robbins novels today - "Skinny Legs and All" and "Still
Life
> with Woodpecker" - with my last $20, money that should have gone for
lunch!
>
> These books better be good or someone owes me a cheeseburger!
>
DaveL
> What an interesting collection for my step father to have! I wonder
> why he's such an asshole.
>
> Shane Bonham
> Business Manager
> Cornerstone CNC Machining, Inc.
Hopefully he's not a wired asshole.
--
obs...@null.net "A common criticism of the Internet is that it is
dominated by the crude, the uninformed, the immature, the smug, the
untalented, the repetitious, the pathetic, the hostile, the deluded,
the self-righteous, and the shrill. This criticism overlooks the fact
that the Internet also offers -- for the savvy individual who knows
where to look -- the tasteless and the borderline insane."
-- A brief History of Computing #12
Dale Kirby
Dale
shaneCNC wrote:
[snip]
> What an interesting collection for my step father to have! I wonder why
> he's such
> an asshole.
>
> --
>
> Shane Bonham
> Business Manager
> Cornerstone CNC Machining, Inc.
>
Dave Memory
>
> I bought two Tom Robbins novels today - "Skinny Legs and All" and "Still Life
> with Woodpecker" - with my last $20, money that should have gone for lunch!
Oh, they're good. Just don't read too much TR all in one fell swoop. Give
yourself plenty of time to digest the meaty-as-McDonald's theologies and
philosophies, and you'll be fine. In fact, you'll love him. I do. Although I
read Skinny Legs right after my love affair with Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas and
got disinterested in his treatises. They're beautiful and well thought out and
sturdy and all that, don't get me wrong. But they're intended in novel sized
bites. Eat them that way, and you'll be our next Dale.
> These books better be good or someone owes me a cheeseburger!
Tell ya what. I'll get you a can-o-beans, a pack-o-camels, some falafel, some
trinitro toluene, and a spoon. You should be OK.
luckydave
Kissing my hand. I'm a gentleman.
--
Dave Memory
Internet Administrator
American Financial Printing, Inc.
d.me...@afpi.com
---------1---------2---------3---------4---------5---------6---------7---------8
KazakOR
>Those were the first two that I bought! Hmmmm?
Kismet. Destiny. Preordination. I am applying to Mormonism as I write.
Kazak
KazakOR
>Eat them that way, and you'll be our next Dale.
Isn't Dale 15? Or am I confusing him with someone else?
Kazak
Next Dale? Hell, we're not done with the one we've got!
Dale Kirby
KazakOR wrote:
I'm 16 and legal to do anything, but drink, vote, have sex, get married,
sign contracts, work, and so it goes.
But I can take charge of a 2 ton vehicle and wreck havoc on anyone
without my hyper-fast reflexes and lack of attention span.
I like mature women or two 16 year olds either way. Oh wait, LuckyD said
we're not doing any more easy entendres. So scratch that (oh wait,
that's what I did after being with 2 16 year olds.)
kittenDale, who waited the recommended 4-5 years between Robbins novels.
KazakOR
>I'll go tell my 9 kids there will be a Christmas next year after all.
Okay, so Dale's not 15 (or so I hope!) That must be Peter who is 15.
Kazak
Or am I 15?
Dave Memory
> I like mature women or two 16 year olds either way. Oh wait, LuckyD said
> we're not doing any more easy entendres. So scratch that (oh wait,
> that's what I did after being with 2 16 year olds.)
Oh, no. I'm not saying that you can't. Just that I don't want to anymore. So
I thought I'd make a big deal out of it and win everyone's hearts over because
they'd see that I really am a nice guy. Albeit a nice guy who likes to ...
Can't go there. Oh well.
Hey Zakaz, you wanna make a bet on that "I'll give 'im a week" thing? If I win,
I get a lifetime supply of vowels (including backpay), and if you win, you get a
lifetime supply of Q's. Which I've been hoarding.
luckydave
QQQqqQq
Sadie Waddingham
> Sadie, my little Jezebel:
Soon after I read "Skinny Legs and All", I bought a pet rat from my local
petstore and dubbed her Jezebel. She was pregnant when I bought her, a
fitting name, I thought, due to her rounded belly, obviously caused by her
wantonness for the amorous affections of her well-hung male cagemates. She
was black, adorned with white fur highlighting her eyes and belly, most
sensuous and alluring in a feminine ratty way. She was quite the trollop as
she was unheeded by her maternal state and took many pleasures from my
unwitting male rat, Lazarus, who frequented her company on occasion. When
the day came for her to bring her bastard offspring into the world, she
promptly ate them, thus serving her penance for her past lustful affairs and
then sought solace in Laz's furry embrace.
Rats are very interesting creatures. The similarities between ratty and
human relationships is uncanny.
Sadie
"Call me, Jezebel! JEZEBEL! Yes! Yes!"
Dale Kirby
Dave Memory wrote:
> Dale Kiddie wrote:
>
> > I like mature women or two 16 year olds either way. Oh wait, LuckyD said
> > we're not doing any more easy entendres. So scratch that (oh wait,
> > that's what I did after being with 2 16 year olds.)
>
> Oh, no. I'm not saying that you can't. Just that I don't want to anymore. So
> I thought I'd make a big deal out of it and win everyone's hearts over because
> they'd see that I really am a nice guy. Albeit a nice guy who likes to ...
> Can't go there. Oh well.
>
> Hey Zakaz, you wanna make a bet on that "I'll give 'im a week" thing? If I win,
> I get a lifetime supply of vowels (including backpay), and if you win, you get a
> lifetime supply of Q's. Which I've been hoarding.
>
> luckydave
> QQQqqQq
Oh I've got a couple of
mea-culpa-nice-guy-who-sees-the-feminine-light-grand-gestures held in abeyance too,
Dave (sorry for the LuckyD, and the rap connotations thereof)
Dale
Jeannette Lee
>
>Kazak
I am 15. Maybe you confused us. But I don't know, he could be too. I am
haveing trouble with seperating each personality on the board with just typed
names. I need some pictures. Or a refrence list. Yeah, that would be good.
---
Jeannette Lee,
Puedo comer vidrio, no me duele.
The Clumsy Webmaster with Rabbits:
www.geocities.com/clumsytori/Jenny.html
www.geocities.com/sleepanywear
"So it goes." -Kurt Vonnegut
Dale Kirby
http://www.egroups.com/docvault/kvfans/
and upload them.
Cheers,
Dale
Dave Memory
> Oh I've got a couple of
> mea-culpa-nice-guy-who-sees-the-feminine-light-grand-gestures held in abeyance
> too, Dave (sorry for the LuckyD, and the rap connotations thereof)
Oh, no. I've been LuckyD, LD, LDave (believe it or not), FuckYouDave, fyd,
fuckydave and luckydave (last but not least), among others. Call me anything,
but don't call me late for misogyny. I mean call me late for misogyny. Call me
anything. Don't call me a misogynist. In fact, keep your isms to yourself,
dammit.
luckydave
Late for dinner.
Susan
Dale Kirby
Dave Memory wrote:
> Mr. Notachauvanist:
>
> > Oh I've got a couple of
> > mea-culpa-nice-guy-who-sees-the-feminine-light-grand-gestures held in abeyance
> > too, Dave (sorry for the LuckyD, and the rap connotations thereof)
>
> Oh, no. I've been LuckyD, LD, LDave (believe it or not), FuckYouDave, fyd,
> fuckydave and luckydave (last but not least), among others. Call me anything,
> but don't call me late for misogyny. I mean call me late for misogyny. Call me
> anything. Don't call me a misogynist. In fact, keep your isms to yourself,
> dammit.
>
> luckydave
> Late for dinner.
:-) OK, I don't have many left anyway. Imagine there's no -isms. It's easy if you
try. But then you'd have rac-, femin-, botul-! I think I need some Misogyny Therapy
down at the Misog Parlor.
Dale
Dave Memory
> Imagine there's no -isms. It's easy if you try.
Made me laugh. Thought you'd like to know. You're clever for a 12-yr old.
> But then you'd have rac-, femin-, botul-! I think I need some Misogyny
> Therapy down at the Misog Parlor.
Just a bunch of womyn who don't shave. You'd probably find KazakISM there.
luckydave
A true nonchalantist and luckytarianist.
Dagny Scott
>>Isn't Dale 15? Or am I confusing him with someone else?
>>
>>Kazak
>
>I am 15
Some of my best friends are 15.
I was 15 once. I don't think I was on this group yet. I've been on newsgroups
and mailing lists since I was about 13. One of them I'm still on (The Marx
Brothers Mailing List).
Dagny
"This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."
-T.S. Eliot
Daria code:
Ap D+ T5 W1 Q+ Fn^Fr
O+ OH m c MV- C5X
F:113,201,305 BB+ FCJ -DT+ q+ fT^fD
Dale Kirby
Dave Memory wrote:
> kirbydale:
>
> > Imagine there's no -isms. It's easy if you try.
>
> Made me laugh. Thought you'd like to know. You're clever for a 12-yr old.
Gee thanks, LD. Ever since I was rejected by the I.F. my self-esteem has been a
little low. Damn that Ender Wiggins for taking the last spot.
Dale
Dagny Scott
There's a picture of me on my website. Under "Pictures", actually. You can also
see my cats. It's the Obligatory Part of My Site for People Who Know Me and
Have No Clue About Spike Milligan or the Bonzo Dog Band and Don't Care About
Poetry or My Opinion on Evolution, but that seemed to long, so I called it
"Pictures", since that's what is there, along with some bizarre comments.
John Linnell's there, too.
Dave Memory
> Gee thanks, LD. Ever since I was rejected by the I.F. my self-esteem has been
> a little low. Damn that Ender Wiggins for taking the last spot.
Shit! A nerd who didn't get picked last! Take it for the wonderful turn of
fortune that it is, man.
luckydave
Nerd-in-residence
KazakOR
>The similarities between ratty and
>human relationships is uncanny.
The difference being, of course, that we can eat our new born children only
once every eight months.
Kazak
StevieRayVonnegut
symbol? Would KV by it's Prophet? I'm ready to sign on as the
Propaganda Minister.
StevieRayVonnegut,
Give me that Old Dog Religion.
"What do dyslexic, agnostic, insomniacs think about when they try
to fall asleep? Where or not there is a dog." (named Kazak?)
-----Paraphrase of George Carlin
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
KazakOR
>Hey Zakaz, you wanna make a bet on that "I'll give 'im a week" thing?
I once was standing in the lobby at a hotel when a young man about 16 walked in
and asked the clerk behind the counter, "Do you rent rooms by the hour?" To
which the clerk replied, "Son, you couldn't last an hour."
Kazak
I give him 15 minutes
KazakOR
>Oh I've got a couple of
>mea-culpa-nice-guy-who-sees-the-feminine-light-grand-gestures held in
>abeyance too,
This kid's got a great future. I'm buying stock in him!
Kazak
Gettin' in on the ground floor of Dale, Inc.
KazakOR
>I like mature women or two 16 year olds either way. Oh wait, LuckyD said
>we're not doing any more easy entendres.
Don't be swayed by him. I suspect alterior motives. Let us see, just before
Lucky's conversion to Victorianism he announced an impending date with ...... a
woman. That's right. Might we suppose that this woman is a ...... feminist?
Could she perhaps disapprove of ......sexual banter? Could it be that Lucky is
converting to Victorianism in the hopes of getting ..... laid?
Kazak
Ya don't have to be Jessica Fletcher to figure this one out
KazakOR
>You'd probably find KazakISM there.
You've inspired me to create an ethos. Soon, kazakism will be taught in
schools as a substitute for Creationism and gym class.
Kazak
Do it my way, or watch your butt
KazakOR
>I am
>having trouble with seperating each personality on the board with just typed
>names.
Don't worry about it; we're all Bo. Or Tracy Lords.
Bozak
Dave Memory
> Don't be swayed by him. I suspect alterior motives. Let us see, just before
> Lucky's conversion to Victorianism he announced an impending date with ......
> a woman. That's right. Might we suppose that this woman is a ......
> feminist? Could she perhaps disapprove of ......sexual banter? Could it be
> that Lucky is converting to Victorianism in the hopes of getting ..... laid?
One: I never mentioned Victorianism. You can take your Bronte sisters and find
a pine forest lake somewhere to choke on that sap.
Two: This date turned out to be pool playing. The guys were "Team Turkey
Baster" and the girls were "Team Pussy." We, in favor of good alliteration,
called them "Team Twat." I didn't get ..... laid. Does she disapprove of
sexual banter? No. The two women of Team Twat are the ones who have most often
requested recitations of "Fetish Affirmation."
Three: If I were attempting to get ..... laid, I'd be talking to my old friend
with whom I've just reconnected. We're getting along quite well and I'm going
to visit her soon. Will I get ..... laid? We'll see what happens. This is a
girl who was there when LuckyLand was nominalized. She assisted in the naming
ceremony. She's always known me to be someone without lines. No line looks
uncrossable to me. In fact, if I see a line, I feel challenged to cross it.
Tile floors are no fun. For further note, this woman is the strongest and most
outspoken feminist I know. And my best friend.
Fourth: The decision by me to refrain from sexual comments about women was a
simple exercise in lust control and an attempt to find lines. If you'll look
back, you'll notice that I have rarely posted sexual until I began preparation
for the erotic slam. I like sex. But I don't need it as my only form of
entertainment. I like asexual wit much more. It's more challenging. So, the
Man Without Lines has begun a quest to make himself more palatable and less
offensive all around. Thanks for the support.
luckydave
1,2,3 what are we fighting for?
StevieRayVonnegut
my division. I have my Doctor of Mixology from the Walter
Starbuck School of Mixology, and prescribe triple shots of Huerra
Dura for all new Acolytes to our new Religion. Also, in my
professional opinion, weight does not necessarily mean you are a
cheap drunk. I am 6' 1" and weigh about 235, and have dated
several young wenches of the less than century note variety that
could drink as much as I could. Christians use wine in one of
their most powerful sacraments, we should follow suit, and use
Kv, our prophet as a guide. Perhaps Raspberry Brandy drinking
and chain smoking Pall Malls should be our most sacred ritual.
StevieRayVonnegut,
Blessed be Kazak,
Amen, and pass the vodka.
(b.s.--in my real live bartending duties this fine evening, the
ladies in our group will be pleased to note, that I severely
injured a young man for grabbing a female patron's ass. I hate
myself for enjoying things like this. h e he he hehe--Amen)
KazakOR
> If you'll look
>back, you'll notice that I have rarely posted sexual until I began
>preparation
>for the erotic slam.
But if you fuck one goat....
McKazak
KazakOR
>Would a Doberman Pincher behind a fence be the religion's
>symbol?
Yes. The fence would symbolize the barricades between humans trapped like dogs
and the truth of kazakism.
>Would KV by it's Prophet?
Yes, except we would call him "The Bearer of the Bone."
>I'm ready to sign on as the
>Propaganda Minister.
>
Actually, we really need a bartender.
Kazak
Sadie will be bringing the dog collars
Dagny Scott
>Actually, we really need a bartender.
Janine! She wants to do her senior project on bartending and get Frau drunk in
Germany. Frau says that'd be hard, but I dunno, she weighs 110 pounds, she has
to get drunk easy.
Ed
"Actually, we really need a bartender."
I can do that, since I already encourage kids to "swill gin." Isn't gin the
liquor that tastes like pine needles? And can it be found at a gin mill? I
do great milk chocolate smoothies.
Laters...
Ed
KazakOR
>She wants to do her senior project on bartending and get Frau drunk in
>Germany.
A friend of mine did his collegiate senior thesis on bartending in London and
the average drunk Londoner's knowledge of Shakespeare. Glad to see nothing
really has changed.
Kazak
I did mine on Vonnegut. Go figure.
KazakOR
>I can do that, since I already encourage kids to "swill gin."
Bygones.
>I
>do great milk chocolate smoothies.
>
Smoothies again! This time with racial overtones! Will it ever stop being
weird here at alt.alt.vonnegut.lifestyles?
Kazak
Snip snip
StevieRayVonnegut
of all nocturnal loonies--that would be me and my tribe)
StevieRayVonnegut,
Defender of Southern White trash redneck males who still hold
doors, carry heavy objects, and hurt assholes for damsels in
distress.
KazakOR
>the
>ladies in our group will be pleased to note, that I severely
>injured a young man for grabbing a female patron's ass.
One of life's finest pleasures! Good on ya!
Kazak
I once admired a Marine for stomping the snot out of an idiot in the
Philippines for snappy his fingers whenever he wanted his girlfriend to come to
his side. Beers for everyone!