(Bear With Me!) John Pelan - Liar, Cheat & Bully
Chris Barker
You've decimated this group by persistently taunting me with wild,
unsubstantiated allegations, and when I highlight this fact in the context
of asking you to validate one of your new wild accusations, you instead
start a completely new thread headed "Barkerian Bile".
Its obvious that you are enraged at having missed out on a great R R Ryan
book, hence your extremley vicious post in the Uel Key thread. And that you
are spluttering with bile at our having brought out the Reggie Oliver
collection on time and as specified.
So, will you please stop using this site as your personal toilet and finally
grow up enough to respect the views of others? This site would blossom if
only you and David Anderson would agree to keep away from it for a few
months. (Which is what you are secretly fear.)
Barbara Roden
"Chris Barker" <haunte...@waitrose.com> wrote in message
news:-Imcnf0wvby...@brightview.com...
> So, will you please stop using this site as your personal toilet and
finally
> grow up enough to respect the views of others? This site would blossom if
> only you and David Anderson would agree to keep away from it for a few
> months. (Which is what you are secretly fear.)
Funny, Horrabin Hall is blossoming with both John Pelan and David Anderson
posting there. However, one C.B. is missing from that forum. Hmmm. . . .
Barbara
John Pelan
Here, have another...
>
> You've decimated this group by persistently taunting me with wild,
> unsubstantiated allegations, and when I highlight this fact in the context
> of asking you to validate one of your new wild accusations, you instead
> start a completely new thread headed "Barkerian Bile".
I'm sorry, Hopppy... You seem to have misread my post. I responded
point by point to your nonsense and the best you could come up with
was to make bathroom noises.
>
> Its obvious that you are enraged at having missed out on a great R R Ryan
> book, hence your extremley vicious post in the Uel Key thread. And that you
> are spluttering with bile at our having brought out the Reggie Oliver
> collection on time and as specified.
Enraged? Hardly, I have a complete set of Ryans, all in quite adequate
condition to suit me. Unless you were to come up with a copy inscribed
by the author, I'd hardly be concerned... I'm delighted to see that
Reggie's book is out, as I've said before, he's a fine author that
deserves better publication than what he's likely to get at your
hands.
>
> So, will you please stop using this site as your personal toilet and finally
> grow up enough to respect the views of others? This site would blossom if
> only you and David Anderson would agree to keep away from it for a few
> months. (Which is what you are secretly fear.)
I'm still trying (and failing) to make some sort of sense out of your
comments... ("Which is what you are secretly fear"? Is this some sort
of attempt at surrealism like your references to death by custard-pie
and tarts that you included in your introduction to Reggie's book?
While I've disparged your fiction in the past, it becomes apparent
that as the veil between reality and the fantastic is becoming rent in
your agitated mind you are coming up with some very interesting
imagery. A veritable Edward Lear of prose as it were. The modern
surrealists need a new figure to look up to and I've no doubt of your
ability to fill an entire volume with colorful nonsense in short
order.
Good on ya!
John
Huw Lines
>
> You've decimated this group by persistently taunting me with wild,
> unsubstantiated allegations, and when I highlight this fact in the context
> of asking you to validate one of your new wild accusations, you instead
> start a completely new thread headed "Barkerian Bile".
Chris, you are describing yourself here, too. Obviously, it takes more
than one to argue, but the key point, it seems to me, is that
ninety-nine percent of the time you are the instigator. All was going
quite nicely for the last couple of weeks until you started the Uel
Key/R.R. Ryan thread. When nobody responded to your initial post, you
placed a second one (a full ten days later) with the obvious intention
of baiting certain people into yet another fight. Before this things
had calmed down considerably. I think (and pray!)that you and John
have probably said just about all you'll ever have to say to each
other. Please, please have a little consideration for the rest of us
who are just here to read about/discuss ghostly fiction. As Barbara
pointed out, Horrabin Hall has been going for a few months now and
although there have been several disagreements, nobody has been rude
or attempted to pick a fight with anybody else. I remember how excited
I was when I joined this group a year or so ago, and it has been
really disheartening to witness the way the atmosphere here has
soured. I'm sure that many others feel the same way. If you could just
resist the urge to bait in your posts, this group could be just as
enjoyable as Horrabin.
Cheers,
Huw
John Pelan
>
Q: How did the vampire get his "just desserts"?
A: With a cake through the heart...
*rimshot*
Thank you, thank you... I'll be here all week... Try the veal!
Cheers,
John
David Anderson
> Q: How did the vampire get his "just desserts"?
>
> A: With a cake through the heart...
>
> *rimshot*
>
> Thank you, thank you... I'll be here all week... Try the veal!
>
> Cheers,
>
> John
What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his just
desserts too fast?
Stop goblin your food!
---
How can you tell if a ghost has been in your refrigerator?
Ghostly footprints in the just desserts!
---
Why did the Haunted River editor stare at the can of orange juice?
Because it said 'concentrate'!
---
A waitress is explaining to the Haunted River editor in the restaurant
that the specialty of the day is calf tongue in a beautiful port wine
sauce. The Haunted River editor shakes his head and says, "I don't
want something that comes from an animal's mouth, just give me some
eggs instead."
---
BOOM! BOOM!
GBB
sum1
">: "Chris Barker" <ha
snip>-
">: soured. I'm sure that many others feel the same way. If you could just
">: resist the urge to bait in your posts, this group could be just as
">: enjoyable as Horrabin.
">:
">: Cheers,
">: Huw
"fraid you're wearing out your keyboard to no purpose: they've been
asked to lay off by loads of users in the past, and apparently have
been unable to understand, and blithely carry on with their childish
exchanges to the detriment of the n/group.
But take heart, young sir! There is a Final Solution ....
here, come down the cellar and take a peep inside my KILL file.
It's .... not a pretty sight, I should caution you.
(Creak of heavy lid opening ....)
-===========================
......
From: "free.teranews.com" <Filipinain...@netzero.com>
From: jpe...@cnw.com (John Pelan)
From: nboo...@yahoo.com (David Anderson)
From: Christopher Roden <ash...@ash-tree.bc.ca>
From: "Chris Barker" <haunte...@waitrose.com>
arch...@hotmail.com> wr*
......
-=====================
Now, go thou and do likewise. Believe me, it makes for a much more
readable n/group.
--
Ian
"Room for one more inside, Sir"
Huw Lines
Hehe..Your cellar sounds like a dangerous place to visit....
Cheers,
Huw
sum1
.....
">:
">: He he..Your cellar sounds like a dangerous place to visit....
">:
">: Cheers,
">: Huw
">:
No, no, safe as houses, I assure you. And this house itself, as you
and the other detectives will observe , is
of sound construction. Yes, *very* sound construction. You observe
this brickwork, how solid it is, how *extremely* solid I say.
And the floor - you smile, gentlemen, and think me mad, but this
floor is thick enough to muffle any sound such as the one you may
have thought you heard ... did
one of you scrape your chair on the floorboard, just then? That must
have been the sound you heard .. or the rumble of distant thunder, perhaps.
You did not hear it, you say? A low but distinct rasping noise, not
unlike the rasping of a parrot's beak on the bars of its cage?
I just heard it again, louder ... the sound of tearing cloth, this time more
raucous.
you shake your heads, and smile. Perhaps You think to
trick me into a confession, is that it,
eh? By pretending not to hear it? Or - oh god, no! It is
real - it is the noise he made every night as
I shone the lantern on his ... God help me, it is - it is the sound
of his awful nightly flatulence!
The handcuffs, gentlemen, if you please. He and his eternal
baked beans suppers have betrayed me from his burial place
beneath the floorboards.
(Edgar A Poe, The tell-Tale Fart)
--
Ian
sum1
....
">:
">: Methinks I shall raise my lantern aloft and explore the attics awhile
">: to rummage in the trunks of the posts of yesteryear until the guests
">: arrive down stairs.
">:
">: Geoff
">:
The attic? I wouldn't, if I were you. But, if you must, give my
regards to me first wife.
And whatever you do, don't let her get between you and the door.
--
Ian
Jane! 'ere a minute....
Chris Barker
"John Pelan" <jpe...@cnw.com> wrote
I'm delighted to see that
> Reggie's book is out, as I've said before, he's a fine author that
> deserves better publication than what he's likely to get at your
> hands.
> >
"Reggie?" I am reliably informed that you do not even know Reggie. Your
implied familiarity is misplaced and unwelcome. "Mr Oliver" to you.
As for being a "fine" author, what would you know? At best, you have read
two short stories, one of them from WEIRDLY SUPERNATURAL (which you claim
not to have read.....). Besides, you have already been extremely critical of
Reggie's work. In damning everything on my website as awful drivel (which
you have done several times), you are obviously ignorant of the key fact
that some of it was written by Reggie.....
And how the man who inflicted THE CORPSE LIGHT by Dick Donovan upon the
world - a reissue of another book, awful paper, terrible font - can even
dare criticise the production quality of a book *before* he's seen it, well
really: it would be like calling Reggie a "fine" writer before you'd even
read his book, wouldn't it?
VITTORINI is an extremley good collection of new fiction. Not re-published,
re-hashed, re-edited. A NEW collection. And whatever production issues you
seek to highlight, it is still a damn sight more attractive than THE CORPSE
LIGHT. Which by any yardstick makes it an *infinitely* better book than
you've ever likely to get the chance of publishing.
You are a nasty little chancer, nothing more, nothing less. *Mr* Pelan.
PS. Thanks for the free plug in the Horrabin picture gallery. Glad to see
that you're not censoring things.
Christopher Roden
"Perhaps Barker will respond to another suggestion: You shut up and so will
the rest of us, because when you cease your provocation there will be no
need to respond.
Then again, perhaps not.
CR
Chris Barker
"Christopher Roden" <ash...@wkpowerlink.com> wrote in message
news:3efdaec2$0$29321$baae...@news.mindlink.net...
>
> "Perhaps Barker will respond to another suggestion: You shut up and so
will
> the rest of us, because when you cease your provocation there will be no
> need to respond.
>
> Then again, perhaps not.
>
> CR
>
OK, let's have one final stab at resolving this thing. For the good of the
group.
I still have a couple if issues with you which require resolution. If you
agree to answer them decently, without evasion or invective, then I will
drop the issues, and agree to move on. The issues are:
1. Costs. You demanded answers about the Reggie Oliver collection. I gave
them. Yet you have yourself refused to specify how much you had to pay the
Conan Doyle estate for the Gorsethorpe Grange ghost story. Please name that
figure.
2. Defamation. You said on this discussion site that I had "deliberately
misled" customers about the Reggie Oliver book. By now Reggie should have
put you right on this matter. Please post a brief retraction or apology for
that specific allegation.
3. Rdabac. You frequently lament the fact that we don't get any rbadac style
posts anymore. But it is my contention that you don't do enough personally
to post rbadac style posts. If you would agree to try and post an occasional
& original ghost post of a witty or illuminating nature, wholly unrelated to
anything going down at All Hallows or Ashtree, then I will happily drop this
issue. I will also agree to post something original at least as often as you
do.
There. All the other issues swept away, and the central points distilled.
The ball is in your court.
woolrich
> the rest of us, because when you cease your provocation there will be no
> need to respond.
>
> Then again, perhaps not.
>
> CR
That's an excellent suggestion: I think all sides should henceforth
pretend the other does not exist and go on about their business.
There should be no commentary, nasty asides, or even mentions of the
County of Norfolk, Washington state, or British Columbia.
-------------------------------------------------
Chris Barker:
O.K., imagine that bit by bit, they're vanishing, fading out, now only
John's head's grinning at you like the Cheshire cat. He winks at you,
then...*Poof!*
Now, you can run your new press venture in peace and never need post
anything bitter ever again.
--------------------------------------------------
John Pelan, Christopher Roden:
Growing ever more incredible in his obstinance at the world of small
press publishing, Chris Barker returns home one dark and stormy night.
"Ah," he sighs with exasperation as he sinks into his favorite arm
chair in the parlor, "I can not believe that such a thing as the Ash
Tree Press exists!"
Suddenly, before his very eyes, several volumes begin to fade away
from the bookshelf nearby: there goes Marsh, Benson, Capes, and may
others.
"Ha!" cries Barker exulatantly,"Furthermore I don't believe that
'wrassler' John Pelan exists!"
Barker falls out of his chair, as the copy of THE CORPSE LIGHT he was
using to prop up one leg disappears.
He runs through a litany of small presses: Sarob, Tartarus, Night
Shade, Side Real, and others, as the books run and fade away like so
much smoke being drawn into a ceiling fan.
Bathed in sweat, Mr. Barker must ask himself one last question, "Well,
what about Haunted Ri...!?!"
There is overwhelming silence in the front parlor. Barker's wife,
Fatima, sticks her head in the room for a moment, "Hmmm, I guess he
went out for a walk!"
----------------------------------------------
As for myself, I think I had a lot of gall sticking my neck into this
to begin with and will now do everyone the favor of butting out.
John Pelan
<haunte...@waitrose.com> wrote:
>Can't think how I missed this.
Nor can I...
>
>
>"John Pelan" <jpe...@cnw.com> wrote
>
>I'm delighted to see that
>> Reggie's book is out, as I've said before, he's a fine author that
>> deserves better publication than what he's likely to get at your
>> hands.
>> >
>
>"Reggie?" I am reliably informed that you do not even know Reggie. Your
>implied familiarity is misplaced and unwelcome. "Mr Oliver" to you.
If the authir takes offense, he can certainly correct me. My e-mail
isn't hard to find.
>
>As for being a "fine" author, what would you know? At best, you have read
>two short stories, one of them from WEIRDLY SUPERNATURAL (which you claim
>not to have read.....).
No, I claim to have not bought a copy, I never said I haven't read it.
And yes, two stories is sufficient for me to pronounce someone a "a
fine writer" as I've done with Pedar O'Guilan, who is featured in two
of my recent anthologies. Two stories is also enough for me to agree
with your statement "I make no pretence of being a writer..."
>Besides, you have already been extremely critical of
>Reggie's work. In damning everything on my website as awful drivel (which
>you have done several times), you are obviously ignorant of the key fact
>that some of it was written by Reggie.....\
Well, if any of the silly crap on your website was written by Reggie,
I'll stand corrected and approach his collection with caution. Of
course, I'll approach the collection with caution in any event, as
I've heard bad things about the binding, don't you know?
As it is, I suspect that you are misremembering things as you often
seem to... Perhaps a different prescription is in order?
Cheers,
John
William Allison
[snip]
> ----------------------------------------------
>
> As for myself, I think I had a lot of gall sticking my neck into this to
> begin with and will now do everyone the favor of butting out.
I agree with Luc, and I'm very glad for your efforts - thank you!
Bill A.
John Pelan
wrote:
>"Christopher Roden" <ash...@wkpowerlink.com> wrote in message news:<3efdaec2$0$29321$baae...@news.mindlink.net>...
>> "Perhaps Barker will respond to another suggestion: You shut up and so will
>> the rest of us, because when you cease your provocation there will be no
>> need to respond.
>>
>> Then again, perhaps not.
>>
>> CR
>
>
>That's an excellent suggestion: I think all sides should henceforth
>pretend the other does not exist and go on about their business.
>There should be no commentary, nasty asides, or even mentions of the
>County of Norfolk, Washington state, or British Columbia.
>
>----------------------------------------------
>
>
>As for myself, I think I had a lot of gall sticking my neck into this
>to begin with and will now do everyone the favor of butting out.
No, thanks for the "attempted rescue". ;-) I shall endeavor to ignore
CB unless he launches another attack.
Ironic that you mentioned the earlier reprint of THE STONE DRAGON, if
Larry were posting here, I'm sure he'd be happy to mention the help
that he received from me and others in the weird fiction community.
The sort of help that seemingly is extended freely to any and all that
ask...
I suspect that if CB had but asked, any number of folks would have
warned him away from the unfortunate methodolgy he employed in binding
the Oliver book.
Much of my own success is based on asking for advice from those that
went down the path before me and I've found unending amounts of
cooperation. Of course, it's not in my nature to "introduce" myself to
people by viciously attacking them or taking offense over perceived
slights as our Mr. Barker seems to.
Cheers,
John
Christopher Roden
> group.
>
> I still have a couple if issues with you which require resolution. If you
> agree to answer them decently, without evasion or invective, then I will
> drop the issues, and agree to move on. The issues are:
>
> 1. Costs. You demanded answers about the Reggie Oliver collection. I gave
> them. Yet you have yourself refused to specify how much you had to pay the
> Conan Doyle estate for the Gorsethorpe Grange ghost story. Please name
that
> figure.
The royalty paid to the Doyle estate is a matter of confidence between them
and the Arthur Conan Doyle Society. Suffice to say that it is in line with
the recognized percentage paid by publishers to authors. And that is as
specific as you have been over the Oliver collection - if not more so.
>
> 2. Defamation. You said on this discussion site that I had "deliberately
> misled" customers about the Reggie Oliver book. By now Reggie should have
> put you right on this matter. Please post a brief retraction or apology
for
> that specific allegation.
Show me that particular post, and I will respond to your point. But please
be so good as to acknowledge that you have not yet corrected the binding
question on rec.collecting.books, where you posted an advert; and you only
did so here and on your website after the matter had been raised here.
Reggie's note to me, for your interest, was in his usual gentlemanly style.
>
> 3. Rdabac. You frequently lament the fact that we don't get any rbadac
style
> posts anymore. But it is my contention that you don't do enough personally
> to post rbadac style posts. If you would agree to try and post an
occasional
> & original ghost post of a witty or illuminating nature, wholly unrelated
to
> anything going down at All Hallows or Ashtree, then I will happily drop
this
> issue. I will also agree to post something original at least as often as
you
> do.
Is this in line with the alt.books.ghost-ficiton faq? Does it say there that
one of the means of joining the discussion on the group is to do as Chris
Barker says? When it does, I'll either happily oblige or restrict my
discussion group activity to Horrabin Hall.
>
> There. All the other issues swept away, and the central points distilled.
> The ball is in your court.
There. As far as I'm concerned, all issues are closed. You will hear no more
from me, PROVIDING that I hear no more from you, either directly or by means
of my name or my company's name being mentioned by you in third-party posts.
CR.
>
>
nomis
"Christopher Roden" <ash...@wkpowerlink.com> wrote:
> > 3. Rdabac. You frequently lament the fact that we don't get any rbadac
> style
> > posts anymore. But it is my contention that you don't do enough personally
> > to post rbadac style posts. If you would agree to try and post an
> occasional
> > & original ghost post of a witty or illuminating nature, wholly unrelated
> to
> > anything going down at All Hallows or Ashtree, then I will happily drop
> this
> > issue. I will also agree to post something original at least as often as
> you
> > do.
>
> Is this in line with the alt.books.ghost-ficiton faq?
Jeez, I hope not or I'm going to have to find somewhere else to hang
out. I wonder what they're doing in alt.books.nancy-drew...
nomis
home to _Withered Spirits: The Works of Terry Lamsley_
and _The Big F Webpage_ (diehards unite!)