Death Star starts new campaign

[ericmatteson...@hotmail.com]

Death Star starts new campaign against
jury summonses
and Microsoft loses monopoly status --
In the previous episode Zack Morris and Mikey
fly to the large round Death Star Space Ship
in their special fast space shuttle and trick
the empire into abandoning it and then take it
over.
(optional link to previous episode)
10/27/05 Star Wars Saved By The Bell episode 1
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.starwars/msg/d31824a7b184ba8f?dmode=source&hl=en
Star Wars Episode two.
Star Wars Saved By The Bell
May 2006.
Copyright C 2006 By Eric Matteson.
Permission is hereby granted to copy the plain text
version of this script and to publish it on
the Internet.
Non profit uses such as non profit student films
are also allowed.
Starring Mark Paul Goessalaar as Zack Morris (Death Star President)
Starring Max Battimo as Mikey (Vice president of data processing)
(secne 1 )
Mikey and Zack are in the conference room
of the Death Star discussing their situation.
ZACK
I wish I would have attended Yale instead
of Cal U. I got a score of 1501 on the SAT.
MIKEY
How come you did not go to Yale ??
ZACK
My father could not afford to pay for it
because he was required to serve on a jury instead
of working that summer after I graduated from
Bayside high school.
The only place that he could afford to send me
was Cal U a communnity college of such low
status and non advanced courses that our
scriptwriter thought we were still in fourth grade
when we left Cal U in our shuttlecraft.
MIKEY
Required jury duty is more than people just not being
able to work. Required jury duty is a small draft
because people are actully drafted inducted into
jury selection. When millions of people appear to
tolerate being drafted into jury selection and are
too apathetic to complain sometimes politicians
like Charles Rangel assume that everybody who
tolerates the small jury draft without complaining
will also tolerate his or her
proposed much bigger military
draft.
ZACK
I wish that we were a lot closer to the Earth
so I could fire a warning shot with this
death stars laser melting a portion of its
natural moon so it becomes glowing red hot
lava on the dark side of Earths moon.
This death star spacecraft is powerful enough to
destroy an entire planet. I wish that I could
order the 50 state legislatures and the U.S.
federal government to convert all courts
to use all volunteer jurors from now on.
I believe that if we the voters require our
U.S. government to abolish required draftee
jury duty that that opposition to forced
jury duty will automatically convince
congress that we the voters will not
tolerate the even larger military draft.
I hate the larger military draft so much
that I believe that Earth deserves to be destroyed
if Representative Charles Rangels proposed U.S.
military draft is passed.
I deeply regret that this Death Star Space ship
is too far away from Earth to frighten Earth with
its laser to point its laser to motivate immediate
emergency passage of an all volunteer jury system
now or any time soon.
As of May 2006, no state has yet passed my
proposed all volunteer jury bill into law.
MIKEY
Your lack of faith disturbs me. The ability
to destroy a planet is insignificant next
to the power of open source.
ZACK
How can Open Source help us here
in our situation ??
MIKEY
Open source is the superior software
development model used by LINUX where
you can actually read the origonal source
code and it makes it easier to find mistakes
and to fix and improve computer programs.
LINUX is a free operating system that
people download from the Internet onto CD
roms and FEDORA is a wonderful free linux
that has capabilities that are about equal
to expensive Windows.
ZACK
I thought that LINUX was only for displaying
text only. Linux was designed to use the c
programming language and lines of plain text
inputed and outputed using studio.h
or stdio.h fread and fwrite.
The November 1999 issue of FUD magazine claims
that LINUX is text only without graphics.
MIKEY
We left Earth on October 27th,2005 and in late November
of 2005 our scriptwriter found out that LINUX
can display graphics pixels. One complex way is
through XWindows XCopyArea and many complex
things.
Finally in Early 2006 our scriptwriter published a
medium complexity example program in c on the Internet that
proves that LINUX XWindows can display a plain
device independent bitmap file on a XWindows
graphics pixels screen.
( Insert link here to xwview02.c )
02/28/06 xwview02.c
http://groups.google.com/group/comp.os.linux.advocacy/msg/cc11b8a2ad0bf294?dmode=source&hl=en
ZACK
how does that help us fight the war against
jury summonses ??
MIKEY
For about the last two months I have been using
one per cent of this Death Stars vast
computing capability to improve LINUX and LINUX is
now competing with Microsoft Windows as a result
of help from this Death Star and the example
programming that our scriptwriter has also
provided on the Internet.
The result of this new increased comptetition
from LINUX is that Microsofts corporate income tax
in 2006 is going to be five per cent less than
expected. This means that the state of Washington
will go bankrupt because our help to LINUX has
reduced Microsofts profit and state income tax.
If the State of Washington legislature hurries
up and complies with our order to pass an
all volunteer jury system in every court
in that state Microsoft employees will be free
to work on improving Windows instead of
still being required to serve on juries so
Microsofts profits and taxes will then go way
up soon after All Volunteer juries bill is
passed.
ZACK
What if the Washington state legislature still fails to
immediately pass an all volunteer jury system??
MIKEY
If we use just 20 per cent of this Death Stars
computing capacity for a two month session
of improving LINUX that competition would
drop Microsofts profits and its Washington State
income taxes to zero. Microsoft is Washington states
primary state corporate income tax provider.
(scene two Screeches dorm room on Earth )
Screech has finally gotten his sub space
ham radio working. He connects it to the
TV and camera and microphone and speakers.
Zack Morris and Mikey are on the TV from the
Death Star communications room.
SCREECH
Zack, Kelly wants to know when you will be
returning.
ZACK
I will be gone a long time.
Screech, I want you to temporarily take my place in
my relationship with Kelly.
You have full priveliges with her.
Please take
care of her until I return. Keep Slater
away from her. I do not want to lose her to
Slater.
SCREECH
Thank you Zack for this opportunity.
ZACK
We have an opportunity to cancel Representative Charles Rangels
military draft by getting All Volunteer jury duty started.
There is a financial weakness in the State of Washington
in that that state can be bankrupted by reducing Microsofts
profit and Washington States corporate income taxes coming
in by helping Linux compete with Microsoft Windows.
Bankruptcy is a severe punishment for the Washington state
legislature if they fail to pass a totally all
volunteer jury bill extremely soon.
----------------------------------------------------
Linux is a free operating system that is being written
in the c programming language by unpaid volunteers
who are writing that programming as a hobby to get
their computers to function without the expense
of buying Microsoft Windows.
--------------------------------------------------------
Screech, I want you to get together with all the good
students at Cal U and start adding new stuff to LINUX.
Computer programming uses a little bit of knowledge
and a lot of creativity. To help you write computer
programs with greater creativity
Try to imagine a large round spacecraft that is 100
miles in diameter that has lots and lots of computers
that can benifit from a better Linux and better
and new programs to run on that Linux.
If you have already written programming code
for Linux ask yourself is it the best it can
be ?? Recheck your progress and fix
and improve and rewrite
programs. Also make new computer programs. Remember the goal
is to improve the Linux on the big round space ship
and to provide a better free Linux for computer users
everywhere that will more strongly compete with
Microsoft Windows.
Several free versions including Fedora Core Linux
depend mainly on outside help.
(Then Slater shows up at the dorm room)
SLATER
Zack, where have you been all this time ?
I finally got dual boot Windows and Linux working
on my computer. Linux seems to work even better than
Windows even though Linux is free.
ZACK
I am in a large round space ship that is 100 miles
in diameter that is currently between galaxies.
I hope that you tell the other students there at
Cal U how to dual boot Linux with Windows and
TRY LINUX OUT and GIVE LINUX A CHANCE instead
of Windows only.
When installing LINUX always remember to choose
to install software development so the c compiler
will be installed.
..
(Scene 3)
(On Earth)
(Office of one of Microsofts project managers.
Student is doing a student film and interviewing
someone at Microsoft or who at least is able to imagine
Microsofts point of view)
STUDENT
How come Windows has been declining in quality
scince the Year 2000 ??
Manager:
Jury duty. In the distant past we were all
excused from jury duty here at Microsoft.
But a crackdown on excuses has made it so
important work is no longer an excuse from jury
duty. When skilled programmers and managers are
taken away from the group here at Microsoft
it does much more than just delay the
next Windows.
Sycnchronization is lost. Programmers and managers
who are away on jury duty miss important meetings
about tracking down mistakes and also developing
progressive overall changes in the proposed
new Windows. The notes that the secretaries
take of the meetings often leave out important
details and those employees at jury duty are unable to
interactively question the group
from the perspective of their own expertise.
With windows XP we had people returning from jury
duty still making their part of Windows XP the older
way after everybody else was adapting it to changes.
The result is hundreds of hidden mistakes that are
caused by incompatibilies between the divergent
versions of Windows.
STUDENT
What is your opinion of Linux?
MANAGER
Linux is just a toy operating system written by
amatuers who are not good enough to write computer
programs professionally. You have to always log in.
Floppies are hard to change because you have to unmount
the current floppy before changing floppy disks and
mounting the next floppy.
STUDENT
Linux actually uses the umount command instead of unmount.
MANAGER
If you want to run graphics pixels with vga.h you have
to log in as root.
STUDENT
You can use XWindows.
MANAGER
According to the December 2005 FUD magazine
LINUX XWindows is only one bit per pixel based on spying
on actual LINUX XWindows documentation.
If Microsoft employees
were not burdened with required jury duty Microsoft
could make Windows so much better that we do not care
if even 20 Death Star Space ships full of computers and
programmers all do their best to help LINUX at
100 per cent computer capacity. The only reason
anybody is wasting their time with LINUX is because
mandatory jury duty at bad luck times has wrecked
Windows XP and portions of proposed Windows Vista
which will have to be changed again.
Tell Zack Morris that I am not afraid of him or
the greatest possible improvement that he can provide
hopeless Linux with. We promise that we will fix Windows
and release a patch.
STUDENT
A Hollywood scriptwriter found out in early 2006 that
LINUX supports grey scale in its XWindows and provides
more than one bit per pixel.
MANAGER
But the April 2006 issue of FUD has Linux with only
a few bits per pixel and XWindows will only display
shades of grey in Linux.
(end of scene)
( link to grey scaled viewer xwview04.c here )
04/01/06 xwview04.c
http://groups.google.com/group/comp.os.linux.advocacy/msg/6db6c24621340bb4?dmode=source&hl=en
(scene 4)
(Back in Death Star space ship)
MIKEY
Zack, Our Death Star sensors are good enough so we do not need
a shuttle flying ahead of us. I programmed the computers to
bring back our shuttle. It is coming in the Death Star
airlock now.
..
Then Zack and Mikey meet the shuttle that they had come from
Earth in and tie it to the pillar in the center of the
Death Star near the control room.
(scene 5)
Then in the Death Star control room they go over some Internet
stuff on the computers.
MIKEY
How come xwview04.c was released right after xwview02.c ??
ZACK
xwview03.c was supposed to be a colored bitmap viewer with
color display capability but it got delayed because our
scriptwriter had a hard time getting programming styles
to match unreliable documentation. The XCopyPlane function
does not work as expected. After XCopyArea was deployed
after fiddling with a plane mask in the super complex
GC progress was finally made. Linux XWindows is very complex
and it is neccessarry to experiment with the gobeldegook
to find out which combination of highly complex
thingies actually work.
MIKEY
What finally happenned ??
ZACK
In the context of VGA colors our scriptwriter imagined
the sequence of seven numbers 0,1,3,7,9,11,15
in binary it might make more sense as
IRGB
0000 black
0001 dark blue
0011 dark turqouise
0111 grey
1001 bright blue
1011 bright turquoise
1111 bright white
so instead of the three intensities of black grey bright white
we have SEVEN different simulated grey scale intensities
by adding colors of varying intensity to the greys to
increase the greyscale to seven implied brilliances
instead of only three.
After a long wait xwview03.c champion bitmap viewer
program was released. After getting a picture use c
to get colormode to c for simulated VGA extended grey scale
and d for poor quality actual VGA colors.
( link to xwview03.c )
05/08/06 xwview03.c
http://groups.google.com/group/comp.os.linux.advocacy/msg/8862913e9d9ddb21?dmode=source&hl=en
MIKEY
What happens next ??
ZACK
Our goal is an all volunteer jury system in every state
court in every state and in all the federal courts so
every court in the United States will use only volunteer
jurrors.
..
After the first two states in the United States convert their
courts to use only totally all volunteer juries I will dismantle
this Death Stars laser weapon because I beleive that
passing All Volunteer Jury will promote peace by showing
that Voters vote for representatives in the state legislatures
and federal government that will not continue even the
small draft of forced jury duty so that the larger military
draft will no longer be politically possible.
..
Both Microsoft and LINUX have suffered severe mistakes
and delays because of programmers being taken away and
forced to serve on juries. The Open Source Nature
of linux makes it easier for a much larger number of people to
find mistakes in LINUX source code so it can be fixed
and recompiled.
..
MIKEY
An All volunteer jury system will help both LINUX and
Microsoft by allowing programmers to improve their
respective systems and computer programs.
ZACK
As president of this large round Death Star Spacecraft
I am declaring that the competition between LINUX
and Microsoft is beginning and that Microsoft no longer
has a guaranteed monopoly.
This Death Star spacecrafts computers are helping LINUX
compete with Microsoft so it is very important for
Microsoft and anybody who cares about Windows
to lobby the Washington State legislature to pass an
all volunteer jury system immediately so Microsoft
workers can improve Windows to meet our increased
LINUX challenge instead of continuing to waste
their time serving on required jury duty.
MIKEY
Even though this Death Star space ship is between
galaxies and not near enough to
any planet in 2006 to destroy it with the laser
weapon
remember that the ability to destroy a planet
is insignificant next to the power of open source.
....
Written by Eric Matteson
ericmatteson...@hotmail.com