God Won't Put More On You Than You Can Bear
Carl
NOT in the Bible!" In this sermon David Dykes shows us that sometimes God
brings us things we feel we cannot handle to bring us closer to Him and to
be changed in the manner He wants us to be.
May God bless,
Carl
my website -- http://www.nettally.com/saints/
my blog -- http://www.anniemayhem.com/cgi-bin/wordpress/
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God Won't Put More On You Than You Can Bear
by David O. Dykes
The phrase "God helps those who help themselves" is often uttered with a
harsh tone of condescension, but not so with the statement, "God won't put
more on you than you can bear."1 These words are usually spoken out of deep
concern and compassion. There is no criticism implied in this statement,
only kindness.
Join me down at the funeral home for a minute. Joan is standing beside the
casket of her husband of 45 years. It is visitation time and friends are
dropping by to share their condolences. A caring friend approaches her and
hugs her and asks, "How are you doing, Joan?" Joan chokes out her response,
"Not too good, Betty, I really think I'm losing it. I don't think I'm going
to be able to stand this pain. It's just too much!"
Betty feels she needs to say something to help her friend so she says, "Oh
honey, I'm so sorry. I really am. Just remember, God won't put more on you
than you can bear." Joan nods mutely. Now, Betty isn't trying to mislead her
friend. She's just trying to encourage her to hang in there and not give up.
After Betty leaves Joan ponders those words. She thinks, "If God won't put
more on us than we can bear, then what's wrong with me? Because I don't
think I can bear this pain." Hours earlier she stood in her husband's closet
and when she caught a whiff of the unique fragrance of his clothes, she fell
to the floor and curled into a fetal position and cried until her tear ducts
were dehydrated.
No, she realizes she isn't doing a good job of enduring this pain. She
thinks she must not be very close to God, or maybe her faith is just so weak
she can't trust God enough. So, she pulls herself together to speak to the
other friends. She thinks she's doing better, but then as she's driving home
later that night, a song comes on the radio that reminds her of a special
memory with Jim and suddenly she's blubbering again. No, she's definitely
not bearing it well. So she wonders, "What's wrong with me?"
The problem is that Betty expressed a theological maxim-she made a
categorical statement about the character and nature of God. It's like
saying, "God is holy." Or "God is love." Or "God has promised He will never
leave us nor forsake us." All of those statements are found in the Bible.
But as you search the pages of scripture, you never find the statement: God
will never put more on you than you can bear.
So, I want to say to Joan, and all the other folks who have passed the
breaking point, "There's nothing wrong with you. Betty meant well, and she
really cares for you, but she's no theologian. Your pain IS more than you
can endure alone. And God didn't put it there, by the way.
One reason Bible believing Christians think the Bible says "God won't put
more on you than you can bear" is because there is a scripture that almost
says that. The Bible does say in I Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has
seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not
let you be TEMPTED beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he
will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it." God is faithful
and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. I can
assure you when you are tempted to cheat, steal, commit adultery, worry, or
murder, you can never say, "Sorry, God, that temptation was just more than I
could endure." God always makes a way to escape temptation. But can you say
"God won't put more temptation on you than you can bear?" No, because the
Bible clearly says God never tempts us. "When tempted, no one should say,
'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt
anyone." (James 1:13)
So if you have a friend who struggles with lust, and he's leaving on a
business trip it is appropriate to say, "Just remember, friend, God won't
allow you to be TEMPTED beyond what you can bear, so resist the temptation!"
If you ever hear anyone say they gave into temptation because it was more
than they could bear, you know they're lying.
But I've never heard people share this psuedo-scripture when someone is
facing temptation. It's usually quoted when someone is in the midst of
painful trouble. That trouble may be in the form of emotional, physical,
spiritual, or relational pain. Let's carefully consider this question "Will
you ever experience trouble, stress, or pressure that is more than you can
bear?" I'd like to offer four observations about the statement, "God won't
put more on you than you can bear."
I. FOLLOWERS OF JESUS MAY EXPERIENCE UNBEARABLE PRESSURE
Most of us would agree Paul was a true follower of Jesus. But we learn this
man who was "in Christ" sometimes faced trouble and pressure so severe he
couldn't bear it-or at least he couldn't bear it alone. Here is his amazing
confession found in II Corinthians 1:8-10, We do not want you to be
uninformed, brothers, about the hardships (thilipsis) we suffered in the
province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to
endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the
sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but
on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril,
and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to
deliver us, as you help us with your prayers."
Paul could stand here today and say, "I've faced so much pain, so much
pressure and hardship in my life as a Christian that I finally had to admit
that as a sufferer I was powerless to help myself. I once heard the
expression 'God won't put more on you than you can bear.' That's not true.
There have been times I've been so burdened down with the weight of problems
and despair I couldn't bear it. I wouldn't even be here today if God hadn't
delivered me." In II Corinthians 11:24-28 he recounts some of the troubles
he faced: Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one.
Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was
shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been
constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from
bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles, in
danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea, and in
danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone
without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst have often gone without food;
I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the
pressure of my concern for all the churches."
Can we use Paul as an example of a Spirit-filled Christian? He told us to
follow his example. And you can't deny the fact he bore pressure beyond his
ability to endure. So, the first point is to understand sometimes Christians
hurt so deeply that it is more than they can bear. A few weeks ago, Dr.
Howard Hendricks made an observation I haven't forgotten. He said,
"Sometimes life gets so tough that you don't just hit rock bottom-you crash
through it!" So, welcome to suffering. Now, let's move on the second
observation about this misquote.
II. THIS MISQUOTE HAS CREATED UNNECESSARY CONFUSION AND GUILT
This misquote is usually spoken out of kindness, but it can cause great
confusion and guilt.
1. Theological confusion: Does God put adversity on me?
It can create confusion about God because it suggests it is God who put
adversity and trouble in our lives. Is God a malevolent deity who weighs His
children down with pain and suffering? No, the Bible teaches He is a loving
Father who has plans for good, not to harm His children. I'm a dad, and as
imperfect as I am, I would never burden my children with suffering. The only
time I ever intentionally caused pain to my children was when I had to
discipline them. And as we discussed in the message on "Spare the Rod; Spoil
the Child" God sometimes disciplines His children to bring them back to His
heart.
The vast majority of suffering in the world comes from the devil and from
the consequences of living in a fallen world full on sin. God doesn't put
this suffering on us, but He allows suffering to happen. God usually gets
blamed for every disaster and accident. How many times have you heard
someone ask, "How could God allow those children to die in that tornado?"
More than a few times, I've heard someone say something like, "I just can't
believe in a God who allows all those people to die in an earthquake in
Peru."
The purpose of this message is not to fully develop this topic. (See March
29, 2002 message entitled, "Why do Good People Suffer?" for more information
on this topic) But in a nutshell, the reason sickness and natural disasters
are present in this world is because we are living in a messed-up fallen
world. It's part of the consequences of corporate sin. Suffering exists in
this world like nuclear fallout after an atom bomb. We all suffer from the
"fall-out from the fall." In a way, it's like a person who smoked two packs
of cigarettes a day for twenty years asking, "God, how you allow me to get
lung cancer?" Blame sin, blame Satan, blame our bad choices, but don't blame
God for putting trouble in your life. Life isn't fair, but God IS good.
2. Emotional guilt: Why am I falling apart?
This misquote causes guilt because it can make broken people think they are
second-class Christians if they pass the breaking point. There are thousands
of Christians who have mental and emotional problems-perhaps they have a
chemical imbalance causing them to suffer from clinical depression. They've
heard this theological platitude so many times they may avoid seeking
professional help. They presume if they are truly right with God they don't
need to see a doctor. And if it is true God won't put more on them than they
can bear, then it stands to reason they shouldn't have to take medicine to
deal with their emotional pressure. So instead of admitting they may need
professional help, or taking medicine to correct a chemical imbalance, they
continue to press on thinking they ought to be able to handle the stress and
pain.
I recently read the about a woman named Ellie Petersen who found herself
suddenly facing a terrible nightmare of adversity. Ellie's four-year-old
granddaughter came over to her house to play while her mother ran some
errands. They were out in the yard playing catch with an inflatable ball.
Ellie accidentally threw the ball over Ashley's head and she watched in
horror as Ashley ran between two cars parked in the curb toward the street.
Ellie screamed for her to stop, but Ashley never heard her-she ran into the
street and never saw the car that hit her.
Ellie was sitting in the ER waiting for Ashley's parents to arrive. Her good
friend from church, Rebecca, heard the bad news and rushed to the hospital
to console her. In her desire to say something to help, Rebecca said, "Pull
yourself together, Ellie, remember, God won't put more on you than you can
bear."
The article observed: "The words hit Ellie like a sledgehammer. Instantly,
thoughts and feelings swirled around her brain until she thought she would
pass out. Was she supposed to bear this? Was she less of a Christian because
she couldn't? How dare Rebecca speak so smugly and sanctimoniously to
her...it wasn't HER granddaughter who was lying here, broken. Shame was
added to her guilt and despair, grief was multiplied as condemnation was
heaped upon her shoulders, all in the name of kindness."
That's the danger of this spurious theological statement. There are
multitudes of people under unbearable pressure, and they have passed by the
breaking point. They're struggling with the death of a spouse, or the death
of a child, or a divorce, or a job loss, or a cancer diagnosis, or an
unfaithful spouse, or a teenager arrested on drug charges, or a parent with
Alzheimer's. I could go on endlessly. We are surrounded by people with
broken hearts, broken hopes, or broken homes. When these broken people hear
the statement, "God won't put more on you than you can bear" they think,
"Uh, oh. What's wrong with me?"
Okay, then, why does God allow me to experience unbearable pressure? We won't
know all the reasons until we see Jesus face to face, but I believe one of
the reasons God allows us to pass the breaking point is because:
III. UNBEARABLE PRESSURE TEACHES ME THAT I CAN'T MAKE IT ALONE
Paul wrote in II Corinthians 1:9-11, "But this happened that we might not
rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from
such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope
that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us with your prayers." Paul
basically said two important things we all must learn:
1. I can't make it without God
Paul confessed it got so bad he "despaired even unto death." His pain and
despair was so deep he just knew he was going to die. But then he turned to
his heart to God, and thought, "Hey, even if I do die, my God raises the
dead, so I'm going to hang on to Him."
I do a great deal of my research online using the search engine Google. The
good thing about the Internet is that it provides an unlimited source of
information. The bad thing about the Internet is that it provides an
unlimited source of information. A few weeks ago, I simply plugged in the
phrase "God won't put more on you than you can bear" (in quotation marks to
refine the search) There were more links than I could trace, but one of the
links took me to a message board. And when I read what one struggling mother
wrote, I wept. Her are her exact words:
Where do i start? i need a new place to live. i need a new job. i need to be
able to support myself and the boys without counting on johnny, who is in
self-destruct mode. (two tickets gone to warrant, his Mack truck
unregistered for two years, probably on drugs--grey skin, wild eyes...)
people don't want to rent to a single mother with two boys and a cat. people
don't want to rent to a woman with bad credit. people don't want to rent to
a crisis magnet. to summon the energy to look for yet another job (third in
two years), and look for another home (third in two years), look for other
childcare (fifth in two years) is more than i can bear. the bible says god
won't give you more than you can bear. okay, god, i can't bear this. i need
help.
I have never used instant messaging or posted on a web board, but when I
read those words I composed a reply telling her the Bible never says that,
and that God will help her. I gave her some scriptures and told her to seek
help from of God's people. I don't know if the response ever got back to her
or not. I gave her my email address and if she writes, I'll connect her to
one of the ladies in our Women in Motion ministry. But how many more people
like her do you think are out there? They may be in your office, or your
apartment complex or they may be living in your home. Our message to them
is, "YES, God does sometimes allow you to bear more pressure than you can
endure-so you will seek Him."
2. I can't make it without your prayers
When people reach the breaking point, they first think they can tough it out
alone. When they can't, then they call upon the Lord, but part of trusting
the Lord with your pain is to seek the help and prayers of fellow
strugglers. That's why the Bible says we are to "Bear one another burdens,
and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2) The law of Christ is to
love your neighbor as yourself. One way you show your love to others is by
helping them carry their burdens. You may think, "I've got enough burdens of
my own, I don't want to carry anyone else's!" You'll find when you carry
others burdens, yours gets lighter, too. And we should take all our worries
and cares and do as God directs us: "Cast all your cares upon Him for He
cares for you." (I Peter 5:7)
Hurting people need the love and prayers of other people who have gone
through some of the same pain. We have a Grief Share ministry here that
allows grieving people to share their burdens with others-and I've heard
countless testimonies from people who have told me our Grief Share ministry
literally saved their life. We have a Divorce Recovery ministry here because
people who go through the tragedy of divorce need the support and care of
people who know just how recently divorced people are feeling.
IV. GOD SUPPLIES HIS GRACE TO SUSTAIN ME IN TOUGH TIMES
I confess I used to believe God won't put more on you than you can bear. I
used to say it to people as if it came right from the scriptures. I remember
saying it once to a lady who lost her husband unexpectedly. When I said,
"God won't put more on you than you can bear." She smiled and proceeded to
teach me a lesson I never got in seminary. She said, "Oh, I've heard that
before. But I've never found it in the Bible. And I've found the opposite to
be true. I've found at times God WILL allow us to suffer more than we can
bear-it makes us depend on Him. I have found that God will never put more on
you than God can bear, however."
That's true! Using Paul again as an example, he had one chronic problem that
never seemed to leave him. It's often called his "thorn in the flesh." This
is what Paul wrote about it in II Corinthians 12:7-10, "To keep from
becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there
was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to
me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I
delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in
difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Through the years, scholars tried to guess what Paul's "thorn" problem was.
The theories range from epilepsy to sexual temptation, to eye problems. I'm
glad we don't know what his thorn was. It's like men's socks: One size fits
all. Whatever his thorn was, the principle applies to whatever point of pain
we face. Three times Paul begged God in prayer to take it away. But God
allowed Him to suffer this thorn for a reason. It made Paul depend on God
instead of himself. And Paul just learned to live with the thorn.
Christians sometimes go through tough times. Robert Schuller once wrote a
book entitled Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do. I never really
liked that title because it suggests if you're just tough enough, you can
endure through temporary tough times. But for some people tough times do
last. What about the inmate serving a life sentence? Try telling him tough
times don't last. What about those parents who have a severely mentally or
physically handicapped child? Try telling them tough times don't last.
The truth is sometimes tough times go on and on and none of us are tough
enough on our own to handle it. So I'm thinking about writing a book
entitled "Tough Times Seem to Go on Forever But Weak People Cry Out to God
for Help."
CONCLUSION
For the first twenty years of my Christian life I thought since I was a
Spirit-filled Christian I should never display any kind of weakness or need
in my life. When I was 29, I was under a lot of stress and didn't even know
it. We recently built our first home and had done a lot of the work
ourselves. In addition, I was finishing my doctoral work at Southern
Seminary. To top it off, my mother was living with us and was dying from
breast cancer. All the time I was also pastoring a growing, active church.
Looking back, I thought I had it all together, but I wasn't willing to admit
the amount of stress in my life. The way I dealt with it was to just work
harder. After all, if I "broke down" and shared my pain with someone else,
it would prove either I wasn't strong enough or that God wasn't doing his
job. I started losing weight, without trying to. I went to a doctor and he
ran tests including a Colonoscopy, but they couldn't find anything
physically wrong with me.
I was leading a MasterLife group with five couples, and during one session
toward the end of the cycle we were sharing prayer requests and I was
mentioning my mother, and my doctoral work when suddenly out of the blue, I
started weeping. I had never been much of a crier because my dad subtly
taught me that real men don't cry. As I wept, these precious friends (they're
still my friends) gathered around me and hugged me and prayed for me.
It was my first of several "break downs" I've had since. In fact, Cindy can
tell you now I cry at anything. We were watching the movie "Seabiscuit" the
other night and during the big race as Seabiscuit pulls ahead she was
clapping and I was sitting there crying like a baby.
As I look back, I think God did a powerful work in my life when I was 28. He
introduced me to the experience of brokenness. To us, a broken dish is
worthless, or a broken television is no good, but to God, brokenness makes a
vessel more usable. God uses broken things. The little boy brought the five
loaves and two fish to Jesus and He broke them in order to feed thousands.
When Mary brought the spikenard of perfume to anoint Jesus, the vessel had
to be broken before the fragrance filled the room. And the body of Jesus had
to be broken before we could be forgiven. My personal prayer continues to be
that God will use my life to give Him glory, and I realize I must be broken
for Him to do that. I don't know where I'd be today, if God hadn't broken me
in 1983. I suspect that if I had "toughed it out" and said, "Shake it off,
David, remember, God won't lay more on you than you can bear," that I
probably wouldn't be here sharing this message with you.
So remember, God will sometimes allow you to suffer more than you can
bear-but that's okay, because His grace is sufficient!