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Mistaken Rapture Kills Arkansas Woman

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Elroy Willis

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Aug 2, 2001, 8:31:19 PM8/2/01
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ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up
resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was
apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw
twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man
on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right
out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said
Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who
was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped,"
Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was
convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky,"
he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the
force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered
that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga
costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came
loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which
floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his
friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into
the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the
Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus
lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her
husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied
"This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like
this to happen."

--
Elroy Willis
EAP Chief Editor and Newshound
http://web2.airmail.net/~elo/news

Dethstryk

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Aug 2, 2001, 9:09:34 PM8/2/01
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Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote in
<B536AA296C22782E.3169BB53...@lp.airnews.net>:

>ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
>leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
>described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.

You are a KING among men, Elroy. Kudos for setting the story in my own
state, but it would have been better if you put "LITTLE ROCK" instead of
"ARKANSAS CITY". ;)


x-----------------------------x
| Dethstryk aa #1884 |
| jema...@tcainternet.com |
| http://thoughtcoma.dhs.org/ |
x-----------------------------x
Damno te et deum tuum.

Frank Wustner

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Aug 2, 2001, 9:20:56 PM8/2/01
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jema...@tcainternet.com (Dethstryk) wrote:
> Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:

> >ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
> >leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
> >described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.

> You are a KING among men, Elroy. Kudos for setting the story in my own
> state, but it would have been better if you put "LITTLE ROCK" instead of
> "ARKANSAS CITY". ;)

Well, they *were* in a car, traveling along when it happened. Maybe she
was only *from* Little Rock. (Understanding, as I do, that this is just
satire ^_^x).

--
The Deadly Nightshade
http://deadly_nightshade.tripod.com/
http://members.tripod.com/~deadly_nightshade/

|-----------------------------------|-----------------------------------|
|"Advice is a form of nostalgia. | Atheist #119 |
|Dispensing it means fishing the | Knight of BAAWA! |
|past from the disposal, wiping it |-----------------------------------|
|off, painting over the ugly parts, | Want to email me? Go to the URL |
|and recycling it for more than | above and email me from there. |
|it's worth." Mary Schmich |-----------------------------------|
|-----------------------------------|

Elroy Willis

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Aug 2, 2001, 9:44:31 PM8/2/01
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Frank Wustner <see...@for.email.org> wrote in alt.atheism

> jema...@tcainternet.com (Dethstryk) wrote:
>> Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:

>>> ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
>>> leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
>>> described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.

>> You are a KING among men, Elroy. Kudos for setting the story in my own
>> state, but it would have been better if you put "LITTLE ROCK" instead of
>> "ARKANSAS CITY". ;)

Is there even an Arkansas City in Arkansas? I didn't actually check.

> Well, they *were* in a car, traveling along when it happened. Maybe she
> was only *from* Little Rock. (Understanding, as I do, that this is just
> satire ^_^x).

They were traveling on their way to a Benny Hinn revival, just passing
through town. :-)

Elroy Willis

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Aug 2, 2001, 10:21:24 PM8/2/01
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jema...@tcainternet.com (Dethstryk) wrote in alt.atheism

> Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote in

>> ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after


>> leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
>> described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.

> You are a KING among men, Elroy.

Well, I dunno about that. I'm sure many people thought the story was
stupid or unbelievable.

> Kudos for setting the story in my own state, but it would have been better
> if you put "LITTLE ROCK" instead of "ARKANSAS CITY". ;)

They were travelers from Little Rock. Heh.

Bored With The Boring Again

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Aug 2, 2001, 11:19:31 PM8/2/01
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On Thu, 02 Aug 2001 19:31:19 -0500, Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net>
wrote:

LOL!

Erikc (alt.atheist #002) | "An Fhirinne in aghaidh an tSaoil."
BAAWA Knight | "The Truth against the World."
| -- Bardic Motto
Awarded title of "Defacto CLuM" by "kansan" 2001-05-12
======
Remove god to respond.
======
At one point in time, many of us actually had Jesus as
our personal lord and saviour. Unfortunately, we later
had to dismiss him for incompetence, gross negligence,
misconduct and consistent failure to show up for work.
---
Religious people believe IN god.
The religious right believes they ARE god.

Michelle Malkin

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Aug 3, 2001, 12:29:17 AM8/3/01
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On Thu, 02 Aug 2001 19:31:19 -0500, Elroy Willis
<e...@airmail.net> wrote:

This is great! I can see the whole scene in my mind.


>
>Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his
>friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into
>the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the
>Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus
>lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her
>husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.
>
>When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied
>"This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like
>this to happen."

Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
how many people will take this seriously.
Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
aa #1 ULC #3 EAC Bible Thumper Thumper
BAAWA Knight Who Says SPONG! SMASH member
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
http://questioner.www2.50megs.com/
http://www.geocities.com/hypatiab7 (mirror site)
http://www.thehungersite.com
http://bigcats.care2.com

Dethstryk

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Aug 3, 2001, 12:35:32 AM8/3/01
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Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote in
<5ACD7A0501F259C9.C5B62248...@lp.airnews.net>:

>Is there even an Arkansas City in Arkansas? I didn't actually check.

To my knowledge, and I live here, no. ;) Good job nonetheless.

Fury

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Aug 3, 2001, 12:52:08 AM8/3/01
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Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote in message
news:B536AA296C22782E.3169BB53...@lp.airnews.net...

>
>
> ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
> leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
> described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.
>
> Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up
> resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was
> apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw
> twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man
> on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.
>
> "She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right
> out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said
> Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who
> was pronounced dead at the scene.

ROFLMAO...this is brilliant!

Bud

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Aug 3, 2001, 1:26:12 AM8/3/01
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"Elroy Willis" <e...@airmail.net> wrote in message
news:B536AA296C22782E.3169BB53...@lp.airnews.net...
>
>
> ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
> leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
> described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.
>
Great story, as usual. I think that the "rapture" incident would make a
great April Fool's joke -- especially if done in some of the smaller towns
in the south. Perhaps the EAC, if such an organization existed, could look
into staging a few "rapture" events.


Elroy Willis

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Aug 3, 2001, 1:05:40 AM8/3/01
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Michelle Malkin <malk...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

> Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:

[...]

>> When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied
>> "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like
>> this to happen."

> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
> how many people will take this seriously.

You never know.

Mark Richardson

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Aug 3, 2001, 1:34:02 AM8/3/01
to
On Thu, 02 Aug 2001 19:31:19 -0500, Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net>
wrote:

<snip another excellent news story>
Well done Elroy!

8-)

--------------------------------------------
Mark Richardson. mDOTrichardson@utasDOTeduDOTau

Member of SMASH
(Sarcastic Middle-aged Atheist with a Sense of Humor)

--------------------------------------------------

johac

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Aug 3, 2001, 2:01:12 AM8/3/01
to
In article
<B536AA296C22782E.3169BB53...@lp.airnews.net>, Elroy
Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:

LOL! Very good, Elroy! The problem is that I could almost see something like
this actually happening, given the amount of religious craziness in the
country today.
--

John Hachmann, aa #1782

It was the schoolboy who said: "Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910).

Fury

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Aug 3, 2001, 3:54:41 AM8/3/01
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Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote in message
news:FA71A421C45139B7.5B55D543...@lp.airnews.net...

> Michelle Malkin <malk...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism
>
> > Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:
>
> [...]
>
> >> When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied
> >> "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like
> >> this to happen."
>
> > Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
> > how many people will take this seriously.
>
> You never know.

I still have the mental image of georgann flinging herself out of her car...

georgann

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Aug 3, 2001, 7:27:06 AM8/3/01
to
Michelle Malkin:

> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
> how many people will take this seriously.
> Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

georgann:
None.


--
(`'ท.ธ(`'ท.ธ(`'ท.ธ ธ.ท'ด)ธ.ท'ด)ธ.ท'ด)
ซดจ`ท. Job 1:22 ""Through all this .ทดจ `ป
Job did not sin nor did he blame God.""
(ธ.ท'ด(ธ.ท'ด(ธ.ท'ด `'ท.ธ)`'ท.ธ)`'ท.ธ)

georgann

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Aug 3, 2001, 7:28:36 AM8/3/01
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>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
>>> how many people will take this seriously.

>> You never know.

Fury:


> I still have the mental image of georgann flinging herself out of her car...

georgann:
That's cause you're not a realist.

Alex Hunsley

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Aug 3, 2001, 10:55:43 AM8/3/01
to

georgann wrote:
>
> >>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
> >>> how many people will take this seriously.
>
> >> You never know.
>
> Fury:
> > I still have the mental image of georgann flinging herself out of her car...
>
> georgann:
> That's cause you're not a realist.

Thus speaks the lady who believes in sky pixies. Damn, that's funny.

<spoing>

lex

Packman

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Aug 3, 2001, 11:39:17 AM8/3/01
to

Yeah, what'd be cool is to get a bunch of people to leave their cars
alongside
the road as if they'd been raptured. Then when other people stop to
talk
to Jesus, he can tell them they aren't true Christians and to drive
thru.
Can you picture the look on the people who're SURE they're saved?

"But Jeezuz, I LOVE you! Please rapture me!!"

Jesus: Sorry, drive thru.

"But...but..."

Medieval Knievel, the Adonis of Oklahoma

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Aug 3, 2001, 2:31:47 PM8/3/01
to

"Packman" <pma...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:DF843CD8B95E7386.AAE07668...@lp.airnews.net...

>
> Can you picture the look on the people who're SURE they're saved?
>
> "But Jeezuz, I LOVE you! Please rapture me!!"

Seriously, living here in Oklahoma, I've had co-workers who talked about
nothing but how wonderful it would be come the rapture, which was going to
happen "any day now," for the past 18-20 years.

Perhaps not just incidentally, they were about the laziest, most worthless
workers at any given place. Why do your job when Jayzus is coming to take
you home "any minute now?"

Yeah, any minute now. Any minute now. Real soon. Like, it could be now.
Or now. Or....a few seconds from now. In a minute or two.
Yeeeeeeeaahhhhhh, any time now. Mmm hmm, could be right....about....now.
Any minute now.....

--

********************
Medieval Knievel
ICQ # 26667824
"No, you can't change the password. You can erase it and create a new one,
but you can't "change" it. "--Chief schools ok.general on passwords
***********************


-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
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Packman

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Aug 3, 2001, 3:16:08 PM8/3/01
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"Medieval Knievel, the Adonis of Oklahoma" wrote:
>
> "Packman" <pma...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:DF843CD8B95E7386.AAE07668...@lp.airnews.net...
> >
> > Can you picture the look on the people who're SURE they're saved?
> >
> > "But Jeezuz, I LOVE you! Please rapture me!!"
>
> Seriously, living here in Oklahoma, I've had co-workers who talked about
> nothing but how wonderful it would be come the rapture, which was going to
> happen "any day now," for the past 18-20 years.
>
> Perhaps not just incidentally, they were about the laziest, most worthless
> workers at any given place. Why do your job when Jayzus is coming to take
> you home "any minute now?"

Not much different than the believers who live in squaler hoping for
some better afterlife instead of getting off their lazy butts and
improving their quality of life.

satyr

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Aug 3, 2001, 7:12:46 PM8/3/01
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On Thu, 02 Aug 2001 23:01:12 -0700, johac <jha...@remove.electriciti.com> wrote:

>
>LOL! Very good, Elroy! The problem is that I could almost see something like
>this actually happening, given the amount of religious craziness in the
>country today.

And that would be a problem because...?

Elroy Willis

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Aug 3, 2001, 7:18:39 PM8/3/01
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georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

> Michelle Malkin:
>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
>> how many people will take this seriously.
>> Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

> georgann:
> None.

So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

georgann

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Aug 3, 2001, 7:50:04 PM8/3/01
to
>> Michelle Malkin:
>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>> georgann:
>> None.

Elroy Willis:


> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

georgann:
Instantly. World-wide.
No bodies.

Elroy Willis

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Aug 3, 2001, 8:15:02 PM8/3/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>> Michelle Malkin:


>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>>> georgann:
>>> None.

> Elroy Willis:
>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

> georgann:
> Instantly. World-wide.
> No bodies.

What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

georgann

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Aug 3, 2001, 8:47:38 PM8/3/01
to
>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>>>> georgann:
>>>> None.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>> georgann:
>> Instantly. World-wide.
>> No bodies.

Elroy Willis:


> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

georgann:
I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance (stories
they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

Elroy Willis

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Aug 3, 2001, 9:11:22 PM8/3/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>>>> Michelle Malkin:


>>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> None.

>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>>> georgann:
>>> Instantly. World-wide.
>>> No bodies.

> Elroy Willis:
>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

> georgann:
> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance (stories
> they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

Over how long a period?

georgann

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Aug 3, 2001, 9:51:32 PM8/3/01
to
>>>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people
>>>>>>> will take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>> None.

>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>>>> georgann:
>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>> georgann:
>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance (stories
>> they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

Elroy Willis:


> Over how long a period?

georgann:
?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

John Hattan

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Aug 3, 2001, 10:39:12 PM8/3/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
>>> georgann:
>>> None.
>
>Elroy Willis:
>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
>georgann:
>Instantly. World-wide.
>No bodies.

Support please.

---
John Hattan Grand High UberPope - First Church of Shatnerology
jo...@thecodezone.com http://www.freespeech.org/shatner

John Hattan

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Aug 3, 2001, 10:40:20 PM8/3/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>>>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people
>>>>>>>> will take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
>>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>>> None.
>
>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.
>
>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?
>
>>> georgann:
>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance (stories
>>> they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.
>
>Elroy Willis:
>> Over how long a period?
>
>georgann:
>?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

Chapter and verse, please.

Elroy Willis

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Aug 3, 2001, 10:46:23 PM8/3/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>>>> Elroy Willis:


>>>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>> georgann:
>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance (stories
>>> they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

If a large number of people simply vanished all at once, I'm pretty
sure people might think twice about some rapture idea actually being
true. I dunno what other stories they could really make up about it.
If it were a few missing people here and there over a long period of
time, then that's different, don't you think?

> Elroy Willis:
>> Over how long a period?

> georgann:
> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

Your god's gonna make their bodies disappear and transport them
directly to heaven? No floating up into the sky to meet Jesus coming
down in the clouds?

What about these verses? How do you explain them?

Matthew 26:63-64
"But Jesus remained silent. The high priest said to him, "I charge you
under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Christ, the Son
of God." "Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. "But I say to all of
you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right
hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven."

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command,
with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and
the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive
and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to
meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
Therefore encourage each other with these words."

What's this about meeting the Lord in the air and in the clouds?

Elroy Willis

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Aug 3, 2001, 11:11:28 PM8/3/01
to
John Hattan <jo...@thecodezone.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>> georgann:
>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance (stories
>>>> they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> Over how long a period?

>> georgann:
>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

Magic! Invisible Space-Pixie magic! Tada! Hocus Pocus!!

> Chapter and verse, please.

Ever get the feeling we're nothing more than troll bait? Or should
that be troll feeders? :-)

Troll or not, I'd like to see georgann's fantasy picture of the
perfect rapture scenario, right down to the part where millions
of people are slaughtered by her perfect and all-loving god
or some of his cronies or henchmen or evil demon angel creatures
that he sends to kill people so he doesn't have to come across
as a bad guy.

Chib

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Aug 3, 2001, 11:14:45 PM8/3/01
to
In article <3b6a...@wznews.webzone.net>, "Bud" <nospam@ihatespam>
wrote:

Me, walks into adult toy store. "I'd like to buy twelve blow up sex
dolls, please? And that bottle of helium over there."

Proprietor: "Listen, bud. You put your quarter into the machines like
everybody else. And be sure to clean up after yourself."

-chib

--
What if the hokey-pokey
is really what it's all about?

Chib

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Aug 3, 2001, 11:17:16 PM8/3/01
to
In article <B79002C9.2EE5B%chen...@mindspring.com>,
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

> Michelle Malkin:
> > Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
> > how many people will take this seriously.
> > Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
> georgann:
> None.

Wrong. I take twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium very seriously.

-chib

>
>
> --
> (`'ท.ธ(`'ท.ธ(`'ท.ธ ธ.ท'ด)ธ.ท'ด)ธ.ท'ด)
> ซดจ`ท. Job 1:22 ""Through all this .ทดจ `ป
> Job did not sin nor did he blame God.""
> (ธ.ท'ด(ธ.ท'ด(ธ.ท'ด `'ท.ธ)`'ท.ธ)`'ท.ธ)
>
>

^^^^
And that is fucking annoying.

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 3, 2001, 11:27:39 PM8/3/01
to
John Hattan <jo...@thecodezone.com> wrote in alt.atheism

> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>>>> georgann:
>>>> None.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>> georgann:
>> Instantly. World-wide.
>> No bodies.

> Support please.

Support? Ha! Watch as she makes up her own little story!

If her god can rapture all the good people away, you'd think it could
also just magick all the bad people away without having to burn and
torture them for eternity, right? Hmm...

What a truly evil and stupid god the Bible portrays. I can't believe
anyone can buy it.

Mock mock mock!! Scoff scoff!! SPONG!

Michelle Malkin

unread,
Aug 3, 2001, 11:31:07 PM8/3/01
to
On Fri, 03 Aug 2001 19:15:02 -0500, Elroy Willis
<e...@airmail.net> wrote:

>georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism
>
>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
>>>> georgann:
>>>> None.
>
>> Elroy Willis:
>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
>> georgann:
>> Instantly. World-wide.
>> No bodies.
>
>What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

Wouldn't there be lots of bodies? What about all the
planes and jets that crash when their pilots vanish
in midair? What about all the doctors that vanish in
the middle of operations? What about all the cars,
trucks, trains, etc. that crash when the dirvers
vanish? Considering the limited amount of people who
are supposed to vanish in the Rapture, that would leave
a lot of dead people behind as a result.

Or, would it, considering that all the people who are
supposed to be raptured are supposed to be virgin
Jewish males...

Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
aa #1 ULC #3 EAC Bible Thumper Thumper
BAAWA Knight Who Says SPONG! SMASH member
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
http://questioner.www2.50megs.com/
http://www.geocities.com/hypatiab7 (mirror site)
http://www.thehungersite.com
http://bigcats.care2.com

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 3, 2001, 11:37:28 PM8/3/01
to
Chib <chib...@earthstink.net> wrote in alt.atheism

> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>> Michelle Malkin:

>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
>>> how many people will take this seriously.
>>> Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>> georgann:
>> None.

> Wrong. I take twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium very seriously.

The helium was gonna be used to create funny voices after the party
was over.

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 3, 2001, 11:45:12 PM8/3/01
to
Chib <chib...@earthstink.net> wrote in alt.atheism

> Bud <nospam@ihatespam> wrote:


>> Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote in message

>>> ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after


>>> leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best
>>> described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses.

>> Great story, as usual. I think that the "rapture" incident would make a
>> great April Fool's joke -- especially if done in some of the smaller towns
>> in the south. Perhaps the EAC, if such an organization existed, could look
>> into staging a few "rapture" events.

> Me, walks into adult toy store. "I'd like to buy twelve blow up sex
> dolls, please? And that bottle of helium over there."

And that bottle of nitrous oxide over there while you're at it.

Earle D Jones

unread,
Aug 3, 2001, 11:55:21 PM8/3/01
to
In article <B790CD63.2F23B%chen...@mindspring.com>,

George-Ann (whose mother really wanted a boy) wrote:

> >>>>>> Michelle Malkin:
> >>>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people
> >>>>>>> will take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
> >>>>>> georgann:
> >>>>>> None.
>
> >>>> Elroy Willis:
> >>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
> >>>> georgann:
> >>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.
>
> >> Elroy Willis:
> >>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?
>
> >> georgann:
> >> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
> >> (stories
> >> they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.
>
> Elroy Willis:
> > Over how long a period?
>
> georgann:
> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.
>

*
But when, for God's sake, when??

What the hell is he waiting for?

earle
*

Steve Knight

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 12:40:38 AM8/4/01
to
On Fri, 03 Aug 2001 19:50:04 -0400, georgann <chen...@mindspring.com>
wrote:

>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
>>> georgann:
>>> None.
>
>Elroy Willis:
>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
>georgann:
>Instantly. World-wide.
>No bodies.

Is there any possible way to get this to happen as soon as
possible?

When you christians are gone the celebration will be like New Years
and Fourth of July rolled into one.

Just imagine, Rapture Day. A day the Earth will finally be at peace
and we'll be able to advance our intelligence without the husk of
superstitious idiocy.

Warlord Steve
BAAWA

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 12:51:32 AM8/4/01
to
Michelle Malkin <malk...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

> Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:
>> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> None.

>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>>> georgann:
>>> Instantly. World-wide.
>>> No bodies.

>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

> Wouldn't there be lots of bodies? What about all the
> planes and jets that crash when their pilots vanish
> in midair? What about all the doctors that vanish in
> the middle of operations? What about all the cars,
> trucks, trains, etc. that crash when the dirvers
> vanish? Considering the limited amount of people who
> are supposed to vanish in the Rapture, that would leave
> a lot of dead people behind as a result.

Tough luck for them I guess...

Georgann doesn't need to be concerned with the people left behind
since she's a chosen one.

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:04:24 AM8/4/01
to
Steve Knight <BA...@sonic.net> wrote in alt.atheism

> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>>>> georgann:
>>>> None.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>> georgann:
>> Instantly. World-wide.
>> No bodies.

> Is there any possible way to get this to happen as soon as
> possible?

More scoffers?

johac

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:33:56 AM8/4/01
to
In article <gubmmtgi6fg9c5ace...@4ax.com>,
RsEaM...@infidels.org (satyr) wrote:

Hey, where I live, traffic is bad enough. If fundies start jumping out of
their cars, can you imagine the mess during rush hour? :-)
--

John Hachmann, aa #1782

It was the schoolboy who said: "Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910).

Michelle Malkin

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 2:04:14 AM8/4/01
to

Geogann is a virgin Jewish male? Whodathunkit?!

Michelle Malkin

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 2:05:54 AM8/4/01
to
On Sat, 04 Aug 2001 00:04:24 -0500, Elroy Willis
<e...@airmail.net> wrote:

>Steve Knight <BA...@sonic.net> wrote in alt.atheism
>
>> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>
>>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> None.
>
>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
>>> georgann:
>>> Instantly. World-wide.
>>> No bodies.
>
>> Is there any possible way to get this to happen as soon as
>> possible?
>
>More scoffers?

Scoff, scoff, scoffity, scoff! Especially if it's the
people georgann and her ilk think it will be.

Fury

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 5:31:45 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:B7900324.2EE5C%chen...@mindspring.com...

> >>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder
> >>> how many people will take this seriously.
>
> >> You never know.
>
> Fury:
> > I still have the mental image of georgann flinging herself out of her
car...
>
> georgann:
> That's cause you're not a realist.

Well. I guess you told me off--it's going to take me several days of crying to
shake off the sting of your words.

Fury

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 5:37:11 AM8/4/01
to
Medieval Knievel, the Adonis of Oklahoma <stinky_c...@hotmail.com> wrote
in message news:3b6ac...@corp.newsgroups.com...
>
> "Packman" <pma...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:DF843CD8B95E7386.AAE07668...@lp.airnews.net...
> >
> > Can you picture the look on the people who're SURE they're saved?
> >
> > "But Jeezuz, I LOVE you! Please rapture me!!"
>
> Seriously, living here in Oklahoma, I've had co-workers who talked about
> nothing but how wonderful it would be come the rapture, which was going to
> happen "any day now," for the past 18-20 years.

I saw the same thing from one such in the National Guard...he kept trying to
convert me, telling me that The Day Was Coming Soon...this one Saturday, as we
were leaving for the night, he was walking around saying, "Don't be surprised
of I don't show up...tonight's the night!"

I noticed him in formation the next morning. Too polite to point out that his
god apparently didn't think he was up to it.

>
> Perhaps not just incidentally, they were about the laziest, most worthless
> workers at any given place. Why do your job when Jayzus is coming to take
> you home "any minute now?"
>
> Yeah, any minute now. Any minute now. Real soon. Like, it could be now.
> Or now. Or....a few seconds from now. In a minute or two.
> Yeeeeeeeaahhhhhh, any time now. Mmm hmm, could be right....about....now.
> Any minute now.....
>
> --
>
> ********************
> Medieval Knievel
> ICQ # 26667824
> "No, you can't change the password. You can erase it and create a new one,
> but you can't "change" it. "--Chief schools ok.general on passwords
> ***********************
>
>
>
>
> -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
> http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
> -----== Over 80,000 Newsgroups - 16 Different Servers! =-----

the_chicken

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 5:48:33 AM8/4/01
to
On Fri, 03 Aug 2001 19:50:04 -0400, georgann <chen...@mindspring.com>
wrote:

>>> Michelle Malkin:


>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
>>> georgann:
>>> None.
>
>Elroy Willis:
>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
>georgann:
>Instantly. World-wide.
>No bodies.

Instantly? But Australia always gets everything six months late! I
don't see how this will be any different.

--------------------
the_chicken
#1826
--------------------
EAC - Surgeon Commander; Alien Autopsy Division.

The EAC, proudly holding back the electric car since 1873.

It [atheism] is really quite simple, and
very liberating. But there is a downside
that most people cannot handle: you have
to be prepared to take the responsibility
for your life entirely upon yourself.

--Laurie Strahcan.

http://www.angelcities.com/members/chicken/

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 7:17:23 AM8/4/01
to
>>>> Michelle Malkin:
>>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
>>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)

>>>> georgann:
>>>> None.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>> georgann:
>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

John Hattan:
> Support please.

georgann:
Genesis 5:24 "Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him."
[laqach #3947 - to take]
.......
Genesis 6:8 ... "Noah walked with God."
Genesis 10:24-26 "Two sons were born to Eber; the name of the one was Peleg,
for in his days the earth was divided ..."
.......
2 Kings 2:1 "And it came about when the LORD was about to take up Elijah by
a whirlwind to heaven, that Elijah went with Elisha from Gilgal."

See also #3921 lakad, primary root word meaning to capture, seize, take.
........................
Matthew 24:40, 41 - series of examples of how "one will be taken and one
will be left" also Luke 17:34, 35, 36

Greek word harpazo [Youngs #726] taken. From a primary root word meaning to
seize, catch up, snatch away or take by force.

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 7:20:59 AM8/4/01
to
>>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>> georgann:
>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> Over how long a period?

>> georgann:
>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

John Hattan:
> Chapter and verse, please.

georgann:
1 Corinthians 15:51 ""Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep,
but we will all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at
the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised
imperishable, and we will be changed.""

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 7:42:10 AM8/4/01
to
>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>> Over how long a period?

>>> georgann:
>>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

Elroy Willis:


> Magic! Invisible Space-Pixie magic! Tada! Hocus Pocus!!

georgann:
No. Real God stuff. If He can speak the universe into existence don't you
think He can handle bringing us up to meet Him?

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 7:39:01 AM8/4/01
to
>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>> georgann:
>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

Elroy Willis:


> If a large number of people simply vanished all at once, I'm pretty sure
> people might think twice about some rapture idea actually being true. I dunno
> what other stories they could really make up about it. If it were a few
> missing people here and there over a long period of time, then that's
> different, don't you think?

georgann:
Some people will think it was the rapture. Others will say stuff like alien
abduction, mass suicide, went into hiding.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> Over how long a period?

>> georgann:
>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

Elroy Willis:


> Your god's gonna make their bodies disappear and transport them
> directly to heaven? No floating up into the sky to meet Jesus coming
> down in the clouds?

georgann:
One is describing the other. Only we won't float. Just disappear. I
personally think it will be at the speed of light which is the only
"barrier" between earth and heaven anyway. :-)

> What about these verses? How do you explain them?
> Matthew 26:63-64
> "But Jesus remained silent. The high priest said to him, "I charge you
> under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Christ, the Son
> of God." "Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. "But I say to all of
> you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right
> hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven."

georgann:
He's speaking of when everyone will see Him. But that's after the rapture of
the faithful. The faithful will be coming on the clouds with Him.

> 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
> "For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command,
> with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and
> the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive
> and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to
> meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
> Therefore encourage each other with these words."

Elroy Willis:


> What's this about meeting the Lord in the air and in the clouds?

georgann:
Coming down from heaven but not yet on the earth. Our meeting the Lord in
the air is the same thing as the rapture. It indicates that we are not to
look for Him on earth because we will meet Him in the air (I think that's a
lower heaven or something).

Has to happen.

The Holy Spirit that is "in us" must be "reunified" or fully joined with
Christ before His physical return to the earth. The bride will be meeting
the bridegroom as it were. Then Jesus and the faithful all come back to
earth physically (visible to everyone) at the same time.

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 7:45:55 AM8/4/01
to
>>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.

>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>> georgann:
>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> Over how long a period?

>> georgann:
>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

Earle D Jones:


> But when, for God's sake, when??
> What the hell is he waiting for?

georgann:
He's waiting for the last one to come. Free will remember.

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 7:49:11 AM8/4/01
to
>> georgann:
>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

Steve Knight:


> Is there any possible way to get this to happen as soon as possible? When you
> christians are gone the celebration will be like New Years and Fourth of July
> rolled into one.
>
> Just imagine, Rapture Day. A day the Earth will finally be at peace and we'll
> be able to advance our intelligence without the husk of superstitious idiocy.

georgann:
With the Holy Spirit entirely gone, its not going to be very pleasant here.

Imagine the most depressing, anger filled, violent and sick people you can
think of -- with nothing to stop them from being as horrible as they can be.

I'm certainly glad I won't be here.

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 7:55:38 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

Wow, that's fascinating. Now then, where's your support for "Instantly"
and "World-wide".

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 7:56:48 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>>>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
>>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.
>
>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?
>
>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.
>
>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>> Over how long a period?
>
>>> georgann:
>>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.
>
>John Hattan:
>> Chapter and verse, please.
>
>georgann:
>1 Corinthians 15:51 ""Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep,
>but we will all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at
>the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised
>imperishable, and we will be changed.""

So bodies are going to crawl up out of their graves. Lots of logistical
problems with that, but how does that support your claims of an
instantaneous disappearance?

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 8:01:24 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.
>
>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?
>
>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.
>
>Elroy Willis:
>> If a large number of people simply vanished all at once, I'm pretty sure
>> people might think twice about some rapture idea actually being true. I dunno
>> what other stories they could really make up about it. If it were a few
>> missing people here and there over a long period of time, then that's
>> different, don't you think?
>
>georgann:
>Some people will think it was the rapture. Others will say stuff like alien
>abduction, mass suicide, went into hiding.

Waitwaitwait. Christian nutbars like you have been incorrectly
predicting the imminent return of Jesus for 2,000 years, and making up
all kinds of explanations for why their pet prophesy didn't come true,
but it's *us* who are gonna be making up wacky explanations?

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 8:17:37 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>> georgann:
>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.
>
>Steve Knight:
>> Is there any possible way to get this to happen as soon as possible? When you
>> christians are gone the celebration will be like New Years and Fourth of July
>> rolled into one.
>>
>> Just imagine, Rapture Day. A day the Earth will finally be at peace and we'll
>> be able to advance our intelligence without the husk of superstitious idiocy.
>
>georgann:
>With the Holy Spirit entirely gone, its not going to be very pleasant here.
>
>Imagine the most depressing, anger filled, violent and sick people you can
>think of -- with nothing to stop them from being as horrible as they can be.

But I thought you said that the fundamentalist Christians were going to
disappear?

Bob Moss

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:06:25 AM8/4/01
to

Elroy Willis wrote:
..
>
> Georgann doesn't need to be concerned with the people left behind
> since she's a chosen one.
>
>

SO, if people just disappear , they have been raptured.
Hum. Is that what happened to Chandra Levy.

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:08:18 AM8/4/01
to
>>>> georgann:
>>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.

>> John Hattan:
>>> Support please.

>> georgann:
>> Genesis 5:24 "Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him."
>> [laqach #3947 - to take]
>> .......
>> Genesis 6:8 ... "Noah walked with God."
>> Genesis 10:24-26 "Two sons were born to Eber; the name of the one was Peleg,
>> for in his days the earth was divided ..."
>> .......
>> 2 Kings 2:1 "And it came about when the LORD was about to take up Elijah by
>> a whirlwind to heaven, that Elijah went with Elisha from Gilgal."

>> See also #3921 lakad, primary root word meaning to capture, seize, take.
>> ........................
>> Matthew 24:40, 41 - series of examples of how "one will be taken and one
>> will be left" also Luke 17:34, 35, 36

>> Greek word harpazo [Youngs #726] taken. From a primary root word meaning to
>> seize, catch up, snatch away or take by force.

John Hattan:


> Wow, that's fascinating. Now then, where's your support for "Instantly"
> and "World-wide".

georgann:
Instantly:


1 Corinthians 15:51 ""Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep,
but we will all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at
the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised
imperishable, and we will be changed.""

Worldwide:
Luke 17:34 ""I tell you, on that night there will be two in one bed; one
will be taken and the other will be left. 35 "" There will be two women
grinding at the same place; one will be taken and the other will be left.
36 "" Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other will be
left.""

The three activities describe things done at different times of the day.
Sleep at night. Grinding and working in the field are morning and afternoon
references. That shows that if it happens all at once and all theses
activities are taking place, it is a worldwide instantaneous rapture.

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:11:10 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>>>>> Elroy Willis:


>>>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>> Over how long a period?

>>>> georgann:
>>>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

>Elroy Willis:
>> Magic! Invisible Space-Pixie magic! Tada! Hocus Pocus!!

> georgann:
> No. Real God stuff. If He can speak the universe into existence don't you
> think He can handle bringing us up to meet Him?

If he can speak the universe into existence? Sorry, I don't buy that
part either. BTW, speaking requires a mouth. I thought YHWH was a
spirit. Hm?

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:19:08 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

Yeah, you've already said that. The dead will crawl from their graves.
What's your point?

>Worldwide:
>Luke 17:34 ""I tell you, on that night there will be two in one bed; one
>will be taken and the other will be left. 35 "" There will be two women
>grinding at the same place; one will be taken and the other will be left.
>36 "" Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other will be
>left.""
>
>The three activities describe things done at different times of the day.
>Sleep at night. Grinding and working in the field are morning and afternoon
>references. That shows that if it happens all at once and all theses
>activities are taking place, it is a worldwide instantaneous rapture.

Doesn't sound instantaneous to me. If the dead are crawling from their
graves and you're rising up, it looks like it'll be quite a little
to-do.

It appears that the whole "instantaneous disappearance" bit was
concocted to solve all the obvious logistical problems with folks rising
up.

Anyway, we're getting away from the point. It's not going to happen.
It's a ridiculous little fantasy that sells "Left Behind" books, but the
prophesy is 100% failed. Pretend that it'll happen next thursday, but it
won't.

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:20:12 AM8/4/01
to
Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:

It also requires an atmosphere, which suggests that there was already a
universe of some kind in place when he spoke it.

Laskaris

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:21:29 AM8/4/01
to
Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote in message news:<32177BA55E83562A.E11B90C1...@lp.airnews.net>...
> John Hattan <jo...@thecodezone.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>
> > georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>
> >>>> Michelle Malkin:
> >>>>> Hah! You set up the circumstances perfectly. I wonder how many people will
> >>>>> take this seriously. Michelle Malkin (Mickey)
>
> >>>> georgann:
> >>>> None.
>
> Elroy Willis:
> >>> So georgann, tell us all how you picture the rapture happening.
>
> >> georgann:
> >> Instantly. World-wide.
> >> No bodies.
>
> > Support please.
>
> Support? Ha! Watch as she makes up her own little story!
>
> If her god can rapture all the good people away, you'd think it could
> also just magick all the bad people away without having to burn and
> torture them for eternity, right? Hmm...
>
> What a truly evil and stupid god the Bible portrays. I can't believe
> anyone can buy it.
>
> Mock mock mock!! Scoff scoff!! SPONG!

Huh?
Must... Resist...
SPONG SPONG SPONG

Probably georgann's pastor told her what she is spewing here.

BTW, I was thinking that the EAC should develop tracking collars for
fundies. The only problem with the development of these collars is
that they should remain attached to the fundy's body after he gets
raptured, which might present a difficulty. Through these collars the
EAC will be able to track the ascension of fundies to heaven and thus
be able to locate it's coordinates. After we have obtained the
coordinates of heaven it will be easy to order all the world's
governments, which we already secretly controll, to launch their ICBMs
towards it. After Jehovah has been nuked back to the Stone age, which
I doubt he ever left - but that's another matter, we will be able
easily destroy the Antichrist and to openly rule the world in his
place with an iron fist; without having to worry about plagues or
attacks from Jeezuz later on.

Does anyone disagree with this plan? If not, we should have the mad
scientists start working on the tracking collars immediately, as the
rapture is happening ANY MINUTE NOW!

PS: If Jeezuz appears on a cloud and lifts Xians towards him, won't
many of them that live in the opposite hemisphere have to go through
the center of the Earth to arrive? (Extra crispy Xians.)

_____________________________________

Laskaris aa #1890
EAC Controller of Fundy-seeking Robots

"Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by
a whiff of science or a dose of common sense."
[Chapman Cohen]

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:28:42 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

> Elroy Willis:


>> Your god's gonna make their bodies disappear and transport them
>> directly to heaven? No floating up into the sky to meet Jesus coming
>> down in the clouds?

> georgann:
> One is describing the other. Only we won't float. Just disappear. I
> personally think it will be at the speed of light which is the only
> "barrier" between earth and heaven anyway. :-)

You're joking, right? That's why you put the smiley there?

>> What about these verses? How do you explain them?
>> Matthew 26:63-64
>> "But Jesus remained silent. The high priest said to him, "I charge you
>> under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Christ, the Son
>> of God." "Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. "But I say to all of
>> you: In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right
>> hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven."

> georgann:
> He's speaking of when everyone will see Him. But that's after the rapture of
> the faithful. The faithful will be coming on the clouds with Him.

Flying people?

>> 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
>> "For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command,
>> with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and
>> the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive
>> and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to
>> meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
>> Therefore encourage each other with these words."

> Elroy Willis:
>> What's this about meeting the Lord in the air and in the clouds?

> georgann:
> Coming down from heaven but not yet on the earth. Our meeting the Lord in
> the air is the same thing as the rapture. It indicates that we are not to
> look for Him on earth because we will meet Him in the air (I think that's a
> lower heaven or something).

Just how far away do you think you can see a man in the sky?

> Has to happen.

Yeah, right. This is the dumbest story I think I've ever heard.

> The Holy Spirit that is "in us" must be "reunified" or fully joined with
> Christ before His physical return to the earth. The bride will be meeting
> the bridegroom as it were. Then Jesus and the faithful all come back to
> earth physically (visible to everyone) at the same time.

Lemme see if I've got this all straight. First, dead people rise from
the grave and are transported up into the sky with Jesus. Then the
remaining faithful are transported up in the sky. Then they all float
around up there and have an orgy with Jesus. Then they come back
to earth with new bodies?

When does the killing start? What about all the bad people being
burned up? Without using any bible verses, could you describe the
end times in plain english?

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:34:31 AM8/4/01
to
>>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> If a large number of people simply vanished all at once, I'm pretty sure
>>> people might think twice about some rapture idea actually being true. I
>>> dunno what other stories they could really make up about it. If it were a
>>> few missing people here and there over a long period of time, then that's
>>> different, don't you think?

>> georgann:
>> Some people will think it was the rapture. Others will say stuff like alien
>> abduction, mass suicide, went into hiding.

John Hattan:


> Waitwaitwait. Christian nutbars like you have been incorrectly predicting the
> imminent return of Jesus for 2,000 years, and making up all kinds of
> explanations for why their pet prophesy didn't come true, but it's *us* who
> are gonna be making up wacky explanations?

georgann:
Not all of the "things that must pass" have happened yet so no one could
have predicted when it would happen.

When it does, however, some of you will invent incredible tales to explain
it away I have no doubt.

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:40:17 AM8/4/01
to
>>>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>> Over how long a period?

>>>>> georgann:
>>>>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> Magic! Invisible Space-Pixie magic! Tada! Hocus Pocus!!

>> georgann:
>> No. Real God stuff. If He can speak the universe into existence don't you
>> think He can handle bringing us up to meet Him?

Elroy Willis:


> If he can speak the universe into existence? Sorry, I don't buy that
> part either. BTW, speaking requires a mouth. I thought YHWH was a
> spirit. Hm?

georgann:
You only thought YHWH was a spirit because your orthodox Jewish heritage is
creeping in.

God has a body a mind and a spirit.

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:42:53 AM8/4/01
to
lask...@my-deja.com (Laskaris) wrote:

>Huh?
>Must... Resist...
>SPONG SPONG SPONG

No, you must not resist. You must mock and scoff as hard as you can.
We're fully prepared to kill Jesus upon his return, so we must bring him
about with plenty of mocking and scoffing!

MOCK SCOFF SPONG!

>Probably georgann's pastor told her what she is spewing here.
>
>BTW, I was thinking that the EAC should develop tracking collars for
>fundies. The only problem with the development of these collars is
>that they should remain attached to the fundy's body after he gets
>raptured, which might present a difficulty.

Naw, you've gotta remember that this drama takes place in the "Left
Behind" universe. There'll be little piles of clothes and wristwatches
everywhere. No fillings, pacemakers, or artificial hips left behind with
the clothes, though, so it appears that stuff inside the body gets
raptured, but stuff outside doesn't.

We're on it.

>Through these collars the
>EAC will be able to track the ascension of fundies to heaven and thus
>be able to locate it's coordinates. After we have obtained the
>coordinates of heaven it will be easy to order all the world's
>governments, which we already secretly controll, to launch their ICBMs
>towards it. After Jehovah has been nuked back to the Stone age, which
>I doubt he ever left - but that's another matter, we will be able
>easily destroy the Antichrist and to openly rule the world in his
>place with an iron fist; without having to worry about plagues or
>attacks from Jeezuz later on.

We've got a handle on this. Using a combination of the 7W embeddible
microcontroller, a hair-thin antenna, and a tiny induction coil, we've
got a dime-sized retrieval device that can be embedded under the skin
(so it'll be raptured), never runs down, and can be tracked from space.
We should have no problem, then, tracking down heaven and destroying it.

Given that YHWH couldn't defeat iron chariots, he's gonna have an
awfully tough time dealing with space-based thermonuclear weapons.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

>Does anyone disagree with this plan? If not, we should have the mad
>scientists start working on the tracking collars immediately, as the
>rapture is happening ANY MINUTE NOW!

It's already in place. Do you honestly think that the International
Space Station is being used for research?

>PS: If Jeezuz appears on a cloud and lifts Xians towards him, won't
>many of them that live in the opposite hemisphere have to go through
>the center of the Earth to arrive? (Extra crispy Xians.)

Maybe Jesus is gonna appear on that mountain that's so high that you can
see the whole Earth from it.

We've got that covered too. We've had a battery of SAM's on top of that
mountain for some time now. As soon as Jesus shows up, the holes in his
hands that he's been whinin' about for 2,000 years are gonna pale in
comparison to the big one we're gonna put in his forehead!

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:46:02 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>> georgann:
>>> Some people will think it was the rapture. Others will say stuff like alien
>>> abduction, mass suicide, went into hiding.
>
>John Hattan:
>> Waitwaitwait. Christian nutbars like you have been incorrectly predicting the
>> imminent return of Jesus for 2,000 years, and making up all kinds of
>> explanations for why their pet prophesy didn't come true, but it's *us* who
>> are gonna be making up wacky explanations?
>
>georgann:
>Not all of the "things that must pass" have happened yet so no one could
>have predicted when it would happen.
>
>When it does, however, some of you will invent incredible tales to explain
>it away I have no doubt.

Psst. It ain't the scoffers who have been making excuses for their
failures for 2,000 years. It's the doomsayers. Sucks for you.

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:45:14 AM8/4/01
to

>>>> John Hattan:
>>>>> Support please.

John Hattan:


> Yeah, you've already said that. The dead will crawl from their graves.
> What's your point?

georgann:
You missed the all important expressions "in a moment, in the twinkling of
an eye", i.e. instantly.

>> Worldwide:
>> Luke 17:34 ""I tell you, on that night there will be two in one bed; one
>> will be taken and the other will be left. 35 "" There will be two women
>> grinding at the same place; one will be taken and the other will be left.
>> 36 "" Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other will be
>> left.""

>> The three activities describe things done at different times of the day.
>> Sleep at night. Grinding and working in the field are morning and afternoon
>> references. That shows that if it happens all at once and all theses
>> activities are taking place, it is a worldwide instantaneous rapture.

John Hattan:


> Doesn't sound instantaneous to me. If the dead are crawling from their
> graves and you're rising up, it looks like it'll be quite a little
> to-do.

georgann:
No crawling. "Reconstituted" to perfected bodies in heaven with Christ and
the raptured believers (also in perfected bodies).

> It appears that the whole "instantaneous disappearance" bit was
> concocted to solve all the obvious logistical problems with folks rising
> up.

georgann:
Sure. That's why it got recorded in the Christian Bible. They were hoping to
influence book sales in the 20th and 21st centuries.

<sarcasm mode off>

--
(`'·.¸(`'·.¸(`'·.¸ ¸.·'´)¸.·'´)¸.·'´)
«´¨`·. Job 1:22 ""Through all this .·´¨ `»


Job did not sin nor did he blame God.""

(¸.·'´(¸.·'´(¸.·'´ `'·.¸)`'·.¸)`'·.¸)

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 9:52:46 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>> Instantly:
>>> 1 Corinthians 15:51 ""Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep,
>>> but we will all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at
>>> the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised
>>> imperishable, and we will be changed.""
>
>John Hattan:
>> Yeah, you've already said that. The dead will crawl from their graves.
>> What's your point?
>
>georgann:
>You missed the all important expressions "in a moment, in the twinkling of
>an eye", i.e. instantly.

Yes yes yes. They all start crawling out of their graves at the same
time. Just like "Night of the Living Dead". What's your point?

>>> Worldwide:
>>> Luke 17:34 ""I tell you, on that night there will be two in one bed; one
>>> will be taken and the other will be left. 35 "" There will be two women
>>> grinding at the same place; one will be taken and the other will be left.
>>> 36 "" Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other will be
>>> left.""
>
>>> The three activities describe things done at different times of the day.
>>> Sleep at night. Grinding and working in the field are morning and afternoon
>>> references. That shows that if it happens all at once and all theses
>>> activities are taking place, it is a worldwide instantaneous rapture.
>
>John Hattan:
>> Doesn't sound instantaneous to me. If the dead are crawling from their
>> graves and you're rising up, it looks like it'll be quite a little
>> to-do.
>
>georgann:
>No crawling. "Reconstituted" to perfected bodies in heaven with Christ and
>the raptured believers (also in perfected bodies).

So you're all gonna crawl from your graves looking like Fabio and Pamela
Anderson. I get it now. This makes more and more sense the more you
explain it.

>> It appears that the whole "instantaneous disappearance" bit was
>> concocted to solve all the obvious logistical problems with folks rising
>> up.
>
>georgann:
>Sure. That's why it got recorded in the Christian Bible. They were hoping to
>influence book sales in the 20th and 21st centuries.

No, it's because seeing little piles of clothes everywhere makes for
better drama and fewer logistical difficulties than figuring out how
everyone will keep from cracking their ceilings.

Bob Moss

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 10:35:14 AM8/4/01
to

John Hattan wrote:
>
> lask...@my-deja.com (Laskaris) wrote:
>
> >Huh?
> >Must... Resist...
> >SPONG SPONG SPONG
>
> No, you must not resist. You must mock and scoff as hard as you can.
> We're fully prepared to kill Jesus upon his return, so we must bring him
> about with plenty of mocking and scoffing!
>

Question. How can someone return who never really existed in the first
place?

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 10:47:07 AM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>> Elroy Willis:


>>>> Magic! Invisible Space-Pixie magic! Tada! Hocus Pocus!!

>>> georgann:
>>> No. Real God stuff. If He can speak the universe into existence don't you
>>> think He can handle bringing us up to meet Him?

> Elroy Willis:
>> If he can speak the universe into existence? Sorry, I don't buy that
>> part either. BTW, speaking requires a mouth. I thought YHWH was a
>> spirit. Hm?

> georgann:
> You only thought YHWH was a spirit because your orthodox Jewish heritage is
> creeping in.

> God has a body a mind and a spirit.

How big is his body? Is he 900 feet tall like Binky the carrot god?
Or is he 901 feet tall, just to make him bigger than Binky?

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 10:50:54 AM8/4/01
to
Bob Moss <rm...@hvc.rr.com> wrote in alt.atheism

> Elroy Willis wrote:

And Jimmy Hoffa.

Steve Knight

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 10:53:11 AM8/4/01
to
On Sat, 04 Aug 2001 07:39:01 -0400, georgann <chen...@mindspring.com>
wrote:

snip

>georgann:
>Coming down from heaven but not yet on the earth. Our meeting the Lord in
>the air is the same thing as the rapture. It indicates that we are not to
>look for Him on earth because we will meet Him in the air (I think that's a
>lower heaven or something).
>
>Has to happen.
>
>The Holy Spirit that is "in us" must be "reunified" or fully joined with
>Christ before His physical return to the earth. The bride will be meeting
>the bridegroom as it were. Then Jesus and the faithful all come back to
>earth physically (visible to everyone) at the same time.

(bursts into laughter!)

Hey, if you see my whore slut cheating cunt ex, tell her my dick is
still bigger than her boyfriends. And I still have all my hair.

But on a softer note. When you are Raptured, could you please wear
a pleated skirt and no panties? Maybe a Cheerleader outfit?

Warlord Steve
BAAWA

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 11:09:23 AM8/4/01
to
John Hattan <jo...@thecodezone.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>> John Hattan:


>>> Doesn't sound instantaneous to me. If the dead are crawling from their
>>> graves and you're rising up, it looks like it'll be quite a little
>>> to-do.

>> georgann:
>> No crawling. "Reconstituted" to perfected bodies in heaven with Christ and
>> the raptured believers (also in perfected bodies).

> So you're all gonna crawl from your graves looking like Fabio and Pamela
> Anderson. I get it now. This makes more and more sense the more you
> explain it.

I wonder if georgann thinks everyone's gonna be naked in heaven?

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 11:11:48 AM8/4/01
to
Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:

>Bob Moss <rm...@hvc.rr.com> wrote in alt.atheism
>
>> Elroy Willis wrote:
>
>>> Georgann doesn't need to be concerned with the people left behind
>>> since she's a chosen one.
>
>> SO, if people just disappear , they have been raptured.
>> Hum. Is that what happened to Chandra Levy.
>
>And Jimmy Hoffa.

And Madalyn Murray O'Hair.

Steve Knight

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 11:11:12 AM8/4/01
to
On Sat, 04 Aug 2001 07:49:11 -0400, georgann <chen...@mindspring.com>
wrote:

>>> georgann:
>>> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.
>
>Steve Knight:
>> Is there any possible way to get this to happen as soon as possible? When you
>> christians are gone the celebration will be like New Years and Fourth of July
>> rolled into one.
>>
>> Just imagine, Rapture Day. A day the Earth will finally be at peace and we'll
>> be able to advance our intelligence without the husk of superstitious idiocy.
>
>georgann:
>With the Holy Spirit entirely gone, its not going to be very pleasant here.
>

Oh? You mean the world will be full of atheists? Cool.

>Imagine the most depressing, anger filled, violent and sick people you can
>think of -- with nothing to stop them from being as horrible as they can be.
>

Uh huh. Now there's some spooky programming drek. If your ilk was
gone, there would be a new renaissance. No more fear driven idiots
suppressing mankind.

>I'm certainly glad I won't be here.

How sad that you hate humanity so much. Personally, I would rather
stand with my fellows than run away like a coward. How can you live
with yourself knowing you turn you back on your specie to be with a
murdering, uncaring psychopath?

Warlord Steve
BAAWA

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 11:23:24 AM8/4/01
to
Bob Moss <rm...@hvc.rr.com> wrote in alt.atheism

> John Hattan wrote:
>> lask...@my-deja.com (Laskaris) wrote:

That's easy. It's called a sequel to a fictional story.

Mock Mock! Scoff Scoff!

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 11:43:00 AM8/4/01
to
Steve Knight <BA...@sonic.net> wrote in alt.atheism

> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>> Imagine the most depressing, anger filled, violent and sick people you can
>> think of -- with nothing to stop them from being as horrible as they can be.

> Uh huh. Now there's some spooky programming drek. If your ilk was
> gone, there would be a new renaissance. No more fear driven idiots
> suppressing mankind.

Funny how people like georgann think the world is crap with their
god in charge of things, yet want to go to some heaven where he's
also in charge of things.

Jim Fay

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 11:45:11 AM8/4/01
to

Elroy Willis wrote:
>
> Bob Moss <rm...@hvc.rr.com> wrote in alt.atheism
>
> > Elroy Willis wrote:
>
> >> Georgann doesn't need to be concerned with the people left behind
> >> since she's a chosen one.
>
> > SO, if people just disappear , they have been raptured.
> > Hum. Is that what happened to Chandra Levy.
>
> And Jimmy Hoffa.

Bah. Jimmy's still alive, living it up in Argentina or some such. I
mean, I've heard a lot of whacko theories on this one, but the idea that
the mob killed a guy as a warning to those who would stand in their way
and then made sure NOBODY ever found out?

Rinaldo of Capadoccia

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 11:54:33 AM8/4/01
to
lask...@my-deja.com (Laskaris) wrote:

Shshshshsh!
<cough, cough, already wearing them cough!>
(Don't you ever read the memos?)

>_____________________________________
>
>Laskaris aa #1890

--
Rinaldo of Capadoccia
[e-mail forwarding loop error corrected]

What one firmly believes today may no longer be tenable tomorrow.

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the
same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory
that his wife is beautiful and his children smart"
-- HL Mencken

Bill Haygood

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:16:28 PM8/4/01
to
In alt.atheism.satire georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?

>>>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
>>>>>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.

>>>>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>>>>> Over how long a period?

>>>>>> georgann:
>>>>>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.

>>> Elroy Willis:
>>>> Magic! Invisible Space-Pixie magic! Tada! Hocus Pocus!!

>>> georgann:
>>> No. Real God stuff. If He can speak the universe into existence don't you
>>> think He can handle bringing us up to meet Him?

> Elroy Willis:
>> If he can speak the universe into existence? Sorry, I don't buy that
>> part either. BTW, speaking requires a mouth. I thought YHWH was a
>> spirit. Hm?

> georgann:
> You only thought YHWH was a spirit because your orthodox Jewish heritage is
> creeping in.

> God has a body a mind and a spirit.

Are you sure about the "spirit"? After his supposed resurrection, Jesus
said, "A spirit hath *not* flesh and bones as ye see me have."

Is this the same Georgann who was Ted Knight's girlfriend on the "Mary
Tyler Moore Show"?

Frank Wustner

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 12:02:58 PM8/4/01
to
Steve Knight <BA...@sonic.net> wrote:
> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

> >With the Holy Spirit entirely gone, its not going to be very pleasant here.

> Oh? You mean the world will be full of atheists? Cool.

Beyond cool. No supersticious idiots to try to force evolution out of
our schools or to pass pro-church laws. I'm going to throw a real party
when it happens.

After which, I'll probably have to move to Europe or something. North
and South America will be so empty that all "civilization" over here will
collapse. Or maybe I'll get lucky and all the rest of the nation will
move out here to California, and we can carry on here in Heaven on Earth.

> >Imagine the most depressing, anger filled, violent and sick people you can
> >think of -- with nothing to stop them from being as horrible as they can be.

> Uh huh. Now there's some spooky programming drek. If your ilk was
> gone, there would be a new renaissance. No more fear driven idiots
> suppressing mankind.

REAL scientific study, REAL social advancement, REAL freedom, a REAL
breath of fresh air for the human race.

> >I'm certainly glad I won't be here.

We are too. Believe me, we are.

> How sad that you hate humanity so much. Personally, I would rather
> stand with my fellows than run away like a coward. How can you live
> with yourself knowing you turn you back on your specie to be with a
> murdering, uncaring psychopath?

Cult followers have been doing that for millenia. Nothing new here.

--
The Deadly Nightshade
http://deadly_nightshade.tripod.com/
http://members.tripod.com/~deadly_nightshade/

|-----------------------------------|-----------------------------------|
|"Advice is a form of nostalgia. | Atheist #119 |
|Dispensing it means fishing the | Knight of BAAWA! |
|past from the disposal, wiping it |-----------------------------------|
|off, painting over the ugly parts, | Want to email me? Go to the URL |
|and recycling it for more than | above and email me from there. |
|it's worth." Mary Schmich |-----------------------------------|
|-----------------------------------|

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 12:16:15 PM8/4/01
to
Bill Haygood <bi...@anti-spam.invalid> wrote in alt.atheism

>> Elroy Willis:
>>> If he can speak the universe into existence? Sorry, I don't buy that
>>> part either. BTW, speaking requires a mouth. I thought YHWH was a
>>> spirit. Hm?

>> georgann:
>> You only thought YHWH was a spirit because your orthodox Jewish heritage is
>> creeping in.

I didn't know I had an orthodox Jewish heritage, whatever that means.

>> God has a body a mind and a spirit.

> Are you sure about the "spirit"? After his supposed resurrection, Jesus
> said, "A spirit hath *not* flesh and bones as ye see me have."

After he resurrected, he was supposedly able to pass through solid
walls just like a ghost, yet Thomas was still able to stick his
fingers in this supposed ghost's or spirit's wounds. What a crock.

> Is this the same Georgann who was Ted Knight's girlfriend on the "Mary
> Tyler Moore Show"?

She was an airhead, IIRC.

Jeff Graham

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 12:20:23 PM8/4/01
to
On Sat, 04 Aug 2001 09:47:07 -0500, Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net>
bellowed

>georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>> God has a body a mind and a spirit.


>
>How big is his body? Is he 900 feet tall like Binky the carrot god?
>Or is he 901 feet tall, just to make him bigger than Binky?

No god is anywhere near as big as Guinubis. The moon is his
belly-button.


--
Jeffrey L. Graham - a.a.# 1946
High Priest of Guinubis

Worship the One True God
http://jeff_9921.tripod.com/templeofguinubis/

For a few good laughs, go to

http://jeff_9921.tripod.com/religioushumour/

Personal replies may be posted to alt.fan.jeffrey-graham (if your server doesn't carry it, ask for it).


Jeff Graham

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 12:22:36 PM8/4/01
to
On Sat, 04 Aug 2001 11:45:11 -0400, Jim Fay <lai...@gmi.net> bellowed

He lives in a suburb of Houston in an apartment that he shares with
Elvis, Hitler and JFK. Princess Di used to live there too but they
kicked her out.

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 12:24:27 PM8/4/01
to
John Hattan <jo...@thecodezone.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>> georgann:


>>> No. Real God stuff. If He can speak the universe into existence don't you
>>> think He can handle bringing us up to meet Him?

>> Elroy Willis:


>> If he can speak the universe into existence? Sorry, I don't buy that
>> part either. BTW, speaking requires a mouth. I thought YHWH was a
>> spirit. Hm?

> It also requires an atmosphere, which suggests that there was already a
> universe of some kind in place when he spoke it.

How much you wanna bet that georgann will back down to the idea
that her god just "thought" the universe into existence instead of
actually speaking it into existence?

Jeff Graham

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 12:23:19 PM8/4/01
to
On Sat, 04 Aug 2001 10:09:23 -0500, Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net>
bellowed

>John Hattan <jo...@thecodezone.com> wrote in alt.atheism


>
>>> John Hattan:
>>>> Doesn't sound instantaneous to me. If the dead are crawling from their
>>>> graves and you're rising up, it looks like it'll be quite a little
>>>> to-do.
>
>>> georgann:
>>> No crawling. "Reconstituted" to perfected bodies in heaven with Christ and
>>> the raptured believers (also in perfected bodies).
>
>> So you're all gonna crawl from your graves looking like Fabio and Pamela
>> Anderson. I get it now. This makes more and more sense the more you
>> explain it.
>
>I wonder if georgann thinks everyone's gonna be naked in heaven?

They are...Don't you ever read Chick tracts?

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:02:21 PM8/4/01
to
Frank Wustner <see...@for.email.org> wrote in alt.atheism

> Steve Knight <BA...@sonic.net> wrote:
>> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>>> With the Holy Spirit entirely gone, its not going to be very pleasant here.

>> Oh? You mean the world will be full of atheists? Cool.

Dunno about other atheists around here, but I think I'd get along
just fine with everyone else who doesn't claim to have some imaginary
holy spirit.

> Beyond cool. No supersticious idiots to try to force evolution out of
> our schools or to pass pro-church laws. I'm going to throw a real party
> when it happens.

Make sure to invite me.

> After which, I'll probably have to move to Europe or something. North
> and South America will be so empty that all "civilization" over here will
> collapse. Or maybe I'll get lucky and all the rest of the nation will
> move out here to California, and we can carry on here in Heaven on Earth.

I predict that California will drift off into the Pacific after a
series of massive earthquakes one day in the future, and will become
the future Atlantis of legends to be made. :-)

>>> Imagine the most depressing, anger filled, violent and sick people you can
>>> think of -- with nothing to stop them from being as horrible as they can be.

>> Uh huh. Now there's some spooky programming drek. If your ilk was
>> gone, there would be a new renaissance. No more fear driven idiots
>> suppressing mankind.

> REAL scientific study, REAL social advancement, REAL freedom, a REAL
> breath of fresh air for the human race.

A new generation of cloud-seeders to replace a generation of people
who pray or dance to some invisible god to make it rain.

>>> I'm certainly glad I won't be here.

> We are too. Believe me, we are.

How nice it would be if all of the doomsayers would just be raptured
away into their own little universe and leave all of us rational
thinking people alone to do what we can to advance our species
and make the world a better place.

>> How sad that you hate humanity so much. Personally, I would rather
>> stand with my fellows than run away like a coward. How can you live
>> with yourself knowing you turn you back on your specie to be with a
>> murdering, uncaring psychopath?

> Cult followers have been doing that for millenia. Nothing new here.

People like georgann don't realize they're actually cult members.

The brainwashing runs deep.

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:13:11 PM8/4/01
to
Elroy Willis:

> How much you wanna bet that georgann will back down to the idea
> that her god just "thought" the universe into existence instead of
> actually speaking it into existence?

georgann:
Never happen. Christ is the First Word, the creator of all that exists.

georgann

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:14:11 PM8/4/01
to
>> Beyond cool. No supersticious idiots to try to force evolution out of
>> our schools or to pass pro-church laws. I'm going to throw a real party
>> when it happens.

Elroy Willis:


> Make sure to invite me.

georgann:
No one to make fun of any longer -- you will turn on yourselves.


--
(`'ท.ธ(`'ท.ธ(`'ท.ธ ธ.ท'ด)ธ.ท'ด)ธ.ท'ด)

ซดจ`ท. Job 1:22 ""Through all this .ทดจ `ป


Job did not sin nor did he blame God.""

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:14:08 PM8/4/01
to
Jeff Graham <1gra...@bellsouth.net> wrote in alt.atheism

> Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> bellowed
>> georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>> God has a body a mind and a spirit.

>> How big is his body? Is he 900 feet tall like Binky the carrot god?
>> Or is he 901 feet tall, just to make him bigger than Binky?

> No god is anywhere near as big as Guinubis. The moon is his
> belly-button.

I can trump all of your stupid gods. Mine is invisible and is the
best and created it all! And you can't prove that it doesn't exist
either!

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:24:42 PM8/4/01
to
Jeff Graham <1gra...@bellsouth.net> wrote in alt.atheism

> Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> bellowed


>> John Hattan <jo...@thecodezone.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>>> John Hattan:
>>>>> Doesn't sound instantaneous to me. If the dead are crawling from their
>>>>> graves and you're rising up, it looks like it'll be quite a little
>>>>> to-do.

>>>> georgann:
>>>> No crawling. "Reconstituted" to perfected bodies in heaven with Christ and
>>>> the raptured believers (also in perfected bodies).

>>> So you're all gonna crawl from your graves looking like Fabio and Pamela
>>> Anderson. I get it now. This makes more and more sense the more you
>>> explain it.

>> I wonder if georgann thinks everyone's gonna be naked in heaven?

> They are...Don't you ever read Chick tracts?

Sure. Which ones depict naked people in heaven?

Earle D Jones

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:36:04 PM8/4/01
to
In article <B7915976.2F4A1%chen...@mindspring.com>,

George-Ann (whose mother really wanted a boy) wrote:

> >> georgann:
> >> Instantly. World-wide. No bodies.
>

> Steve Knight:
> > Is there any possible way to get this to happen as soon as possible? When
> > you
> > christians are gone the celebration will be like New Years and Fourth of
> > July
> > rolled into one.
> >
> > Just imagine, Rapture Day. A day the Earth will finally be at peace and
> > we'll
> > be able to advance our intelligence without the husk of superstitious
> > idiocy.
>
> georgann:

> With the Holy Spirit entirely gone, its not going to be very pleasant here.
>

> Imagine the most depressing, anger filled, violent and sick people you can
> think of -- with nothing to stop them from being as horrible as they can be.

*
Sounds like the religious right to me.

earle
*

Very few writers advise us to abandon our reason. The founder of the
Jesuit order (the Society of Jesus) St. Ignatius Loyola said:

"We should always be disposed to believe that that which appears to
us to be white is really black, if the hierarchy of the church so
decides."

Earle D Jones

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:42:24 PM8/4/01
to
In article
<254A1AB7BB1D2594.E7BFBD20...@lp.airnews.net>,
Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:

> > Cult followers have been doing that for millenia. Nothing new here.
>
> People like georgann don't realize they're actually cult members.
>
> The brainwashing runs deep.
>
> --
> Elroy Willis
> EAP Chief Editor and Newshound
> http://web2.airmail.net/~elo/news

*
She (at least I think George-Ann is a she) might be a member of a
religion and not a cult.

If her group has an IRS tax exemption, it's a religion. Otherwise it's
a cult.

(For a good example, see 'Scientology'.}

earle
*

"All religions are equally sublime to the ignorant, useful to the
politician, and ridiculous to the philosopher."

--Lucretius (99 - 55 B.C.E.)

Earle D Jones

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:48:05 PM8/4/01
to
In article <B79158B2.2F499%chen...@mindspring.com>,
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

[...]

> >> georgann:
> >> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.
>

> Earle D Jones:
> > But when, for God's sake, when??
> > What the hell is he waiting for?
>
> georgann:
> He's waiting for the last one to come. Free will remember.
>
*
Jesus is not coming -- he's just breathing hard!

earle
*

"The idea that God is an oversized white male with a flowing beard
who sits in the sky and tallies the fall of every sparrow is ludicrous.
But if by "God" one means the set of physical laws that govern the
universe, then clearly there is such a God. This God is emotionally
unsatisfying...it does not make sense to pray to the law of gravity."

--Carl Sagan

Elroy Willis

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:48:35 PM8/4/01
to
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

>>> Beyond cool. No supersticious idiots to try to force evolution out of


>>> our schools or to pass pro-church laws. I'm going to throw a real party
>>> when it happens.

> Elroy Willis:
>> Make sure to invite me.

> georgann:
> No one to make fun of any longer -- you will turn on yourselves.

The same could be said of Christians. You all supposedly believe in
the same god, yet there have been thousands and thousands of
sects and denominations of Christianity over the centuries since
it first came about. What do all of the different denominations have
a problem with? Some words in the Bible? Fighting and arguing about
who's really saved and is gonna get to live forever, when some
afterlife is nothing more than an invention of man?

As long as there are at least two people alive, there's gonna be some
type of disagreement between them, IMO. Even if it boiled down to
a personal choice of a favorite color.

Fighting over which is the best color is no more useful than fighting
over which is the best god, IMO.

I'd like to see you present some stories or articles which show that
scientists have killed each other by the hundreds and thousands
because one group of scientists believed in some idea or theory that
the others didn't. Can you do that?

If you can't, then you have no choice but to accept the fact that
science is a much better way of looking at and dealing with the
world around us than some ancient superstitious system of praying
and groveling and offering blood to some invisible god.

Bob Moss

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:51:08 PM8/4/01
to

georgann wrote:
>
> Elroy Willis:
> > How much you wanna bet that georgann will back down to the idea
> > that her god just "thought" the universe into existence instead of
> > actually speaking it into existence?
>
> georgann:
> Never happen. Christ is the First Word, the creator of all that exists.
>

No, Christ is the second word. The first word is Jesus, and that
was Right After I stubbed by toe.
We will leave out the rest of the sentence after that.

Earle D Jones

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:53:26 PM8/4/01
to
In article <B79157D1.2F498%chen...@mindspring.com>,
georgann <chen...@mindspring.com> wrote:

> >>>>> Elroy Willis:
> >>>>>> What do you mean no bodies? Beam me up Scotty or something?
>
> >>>>> georgann:
> >>>>> I mean vanished. The reasons people will give for the disappearance
> >>>>> (stories they'll make up) will be fascinating, I'm sure.
>
> >>> Elroy Willis:
> >>>> Over how long a period?
>

> >>> georgann:
> >>> ?? All at the exact same moment. Instantly.
>

> Elroy Willis:
> > Magic! Invisible Space-Pixie magic! Tada! Hocus Pocus!!
>

> georgann:
> No. Real God stuff. If He can speak the universe into existence don't you
> think He can handle bringing us up to meet Him?

*
No, I don't. Your bible said he would do this a couple of thousand
years ago. What the hell is he waiting for?

What church do you belong to anyway? Where is it? You babble on like a
Mississippi backwater bigot.

earle
*

"A religion is sometime a source of happiness, and I would not
deprive anyone of happiness. But it is a comfort appropriate for the
weak, not for the strong. The great trouble with religion - any religion
- is that a religionist, having accepted certain propositions by faith,
cannot hereafter judge those propositions by evidence. One may bask at
the warm fire of faith or choose to live in the bleak certainty of
reason -- but one cannot have both."

--Robert A. Heinlein

John Hattan

unread,
Aug 4, 2001, 1:55:21 PM8/4/01
to
Elroy Willis <e...@airmail.net> wrote:

>> georgann:
>> No one to make fun of any longer -- you will turn on yourselves.
>
>The same could be said of Christians.

No it can't, dickface!

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