How religion works.
RHertz
ceiling. One of the monkeys will immediately try to get the banana, but
when that happens, spray the monkey with a fire hose. The monkey will be
knocked down, and the others will get soaking wet. It won't take long for
the monkeys to make the association, so, the next time any one tries to go
for the banana, the others will beat him to stop him. Now, replace the
monkeys one by one. When a new monkey comes in, it will see the banana, but
the others will beat him to stop him from trying to get it. Eventually, all
the monkeys will be replaced, none of who has be hit with the hose, but who
beat anyone who tries to go for the banana. Thus, going for the banana will
be taboo, but none of the monkeys will know why.
This analogy fits many an institution, such as long established businesses,
and religions.
Randy Story
"RHertz" <rhe...@spamlesscox.net> wrote in message
news:8Xhnb.1340$Re.182@lakeread06...
Sounds just like atheists!!
RHertz
"Randy Story" <rsto...@olypen.com> wrote in message
news:vprbce1...@corp.supernews.com...
Explain that remark.
Dave H.
An atheist Monkey would ask, "Why are you beating the shit out of me
when I try to get the banana?"
The other Monkies would say, "Because if you grab the banana, something
bad will happen to all of us! We'll all get wet!"
Atheist Monkey(AM): "Has this happened to any of you?"
Other Monkies(OM): "No we were told that by those that came before us!"
AM: "I am going to grab the banana. If we all get wet, then we will know
this is true."
OM: "How dare you doubt the word!"
AM: "This sure is a good banana!"
OM: "Surely you will be punished for your doubting the word of gawd!"
AM: "How's that?"
OM: "Uh, well, ummm. You will roast in hell!"
Now, *that* is how religion was born...
And if you spray the monkies with water when the atheist monky grabs the
banana, the atheist monkey will say, "Hey, guys! There's this other type of
animal that is spraying us with a hose when one of us tries to grab the
banana!"
And all of the other monkies will screech and throw feces upon the
infidel, and lo! The flood myth is born!
Sorry, just having fun. I really didn't have a point to make, but I
think it is a pretty good story, what?
Denis Loubet
Why yes, we do use well reasoned arguments.
Thank you for noticing.
--
Denis Loubet
dlo...@io.com
http://www.io.com/~dloubet
Charles & Mambo
Don't worry, son, no one's gonna beat you. You can take that banana with no
fear.
--
Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, better than a cup of gold
See, only a Chocolate Jesus can satisfy my soul
When the weather gets rough and its whiskey in the shade
Best to wrap your Savior up in cellophane
He flows like the Big Muddy, but that's okay
Pour him over ice-cream for a nice parfait...
Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, make me feel so good inside
Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, keep me satisfied
Christopher Denney
> Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, better than a cup of gold
> See, only a Chocolate Jesus can satisfy my soul
> When the weather gets rough and its whiskey in the shade
> Best to wrap your Savior up in cellophane
> He flows like the Big Muddy, but that's okay
> Pour him over ice-cream for a nice parfait...
> Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, make me feel so good inside
> Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, keep me satisfied
>
Where did that come from?
--
-- Cd -- Christopher Denney
--
Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left
undone. -Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
Christopher Denney
news:xbinb.1388$Re.1209@lakeread06:
He was trying to prove your point. :)
--
-- Cd -- Christopher Denney
--
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man
contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. -Antoine de
Saint-Exupery
John Hattan
Gee, Randy's reduced to "I'm rubber, you're glue" instead of an actual
retort. This troll's definitely running out of gas.
---
John Hattan Grand High UberPope - First Church of Shatnerology
jo...@thecodezone.com http://www.shatnerology.com
Earle Jones
"RHertz" <rhe...@spamlesscox.net> wrote:
*
There is another saying about the church and monkeys:
"The Church is like a large tree -- full of monkeys,
The ones on top look down and see many smiling faces.
The ones down below look up and see a bunch of assholes."
--K. Smith-Slattery
Rudy
...Then one monkey had this brilliant and devious idea, i.e. to put
him/herself on a pedestal by convincing the other monkeys that s/he and
only s/he knew why the banana was a taboo. That s/he and only s/he was
in communication with supreme being at the other end of the
hydrant....and in a short time a new social class in the monkey world
was born: the clergy ....
Rudy
"RHertz" <rhe...@spamlesscox.net> wrote in message
news:8Xhnb.1340$Re.182@lakeread06...
Brainfried
>>Sounds just like atheists!!
>
> Gee, Randy's reduced to "I'm rubber, you're glue" instead of an actual
> retort. This troll's definitely running out of gas.
LMAO!!!!
Funny.
I haven't heard that line is years.
Brainfried
Enter the evolutionist monkey...
He will look up at the banana and proclaim "Did you know that a monkey
and a banana have 50% of their DNA in common?". He will further ask "why
is the banana still there?", given that all of the other monkeys have left
it alone. Maybe it's poisoned? He will investigate and ask questions
before taking action. He will observe. He will make sure he's not
naturally selected to get his ass kicked by four other monkeys.
Steve Knight
<rsto...@olypen.com> wrote:
snippage
>"RHertz" <rhe...@spamlesscox.net> wrote in message
>news:8Xhnb.1340$Re.182@lakeread06...
>> Experiment: Lock five monkeys in a cage, then hang a banana from the
>> ceiling. One of the monkeys will immediately try to get the banana, but
>> when that happens, spray the monkey with a fire hose. The monkey will be
>> knocked down, and the others will get soaking wet. It won't take long
>Sounds just like atheists!!
What's your problem? Somebody steal your tire swing?
Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly
observa
As an (apparent) explanation for any taboo (original tapu - for those who
don't know) is makes initial sense. With one weekness. The "fire hose" was
never actually used. Rather, someone *said* it had been (Old Testament), or
would be (Revelations). But (here we agree) the source of the constraint
is, in the end, authority. And, yes, I think it probably applies to
atheists (in certain conditions), but not necessarily skeptics.
Alan Jeffery
>
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.532 / Virus Database: 326 - Release Date: 27/10/2003
Hiero5ant
The relevant disanalogy is that there never was any firehose, and the
Priest Monkey would be explaining to everyone why the others should be
working all day to bring him bananas for doing nothing.
Al Klein
<dhaa...@houston.barf.rr.com> posted in alt.atheism:
> Sorry, just having fun. I really didn't have a point to make
Neither do theists, so no need to apologize. :)
--
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he
unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
-- Bertrand Russell.
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
rukbat at optonline dot net
Al Klein
>Sounds just like atheists!!
Another post that went right over your head, eh, Randy?
--
"I don't try to imagine a God; it suffices to stand in awe of the structure of the world
insofar as it allows our inadequate senses to appreciate it."
- Letter to S. Flesch, April 16, 1954; Einstein Archive 30-1154
Charles & Mambo
> Charles & Mambo <Duc...@get.lost> wrote in news:3F9DB45...@get.lost:
>
>
>>Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, better than a cup of gold
>>See, only a Chocolate Jesus can satisfy my soul
>>When the weather gets rough and its whiskey in the shade
>>Best to wrap your Savior up in cellophane
>>He flows like the Big Muddy, but that's okay
>>Pour him over ice-cream for a nice parfait...
>>Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, make me feel so good inside
>>Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, keep me satisfied
>>
>
>
> Where did that come from?
>
Tom Waits
--
Thomas P.
You realize that you are talking to Randy, right? He never explains;
he just babbles.
Thomas P.
"That there are manes, a subterranean kingdom, a ferryman with a long pole, and black frogs in the whirlpools
of the Styx; that so many thousand men could cross the waves in a single boat, today even children refuse to believe."
Juvenal
Maverick
No.
shooty
> Charles & Mambo <Duc...@get.lost> wrote in news:3F9DB45...@get.lost:
>
> > Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, better than a cup of gold
> > See, only a Chocolate Jesus can satisfy my soul
> > When the weather gets rough and its whiskey in the shade
> > Best to wrap your Savior up in cellophane
> > He flows like the Big Muddy, but that's okay
> > Pour him over ice-cream for a nice parfait...
> > Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, make me feel so good inside
> > Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, keep me satisfied
> >
>
> Where did that come from?
>
Tom Waits 'Mule Variatons' album
Shooty
Dennis Arndt
Or peer review of a candidate journal article containing sound science that
might have negative implications for the "fact" of evolution.
Oh, I'm sorry, there are no such things. I forgot. Please don't hit me.
--
Dennis Arndt
den...@dennisarndt.org
Information for Life from:
http://www.dennisarndt.org/
Mekkala
face, groaned, pushed hard, and farted out the following message in
news:VLunb.7259$X22...@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net:
Well now, who ever said there were no such things? We're always happy
to look at evidence. So go ahead and post this article that "might have
negative implications" for evolution, hmm? I don't like thinly veiled
jabs without something real to back them up.
--
Mekkala, Atheist #2148
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly
realized I was talking to myself!"
--Peter O'Toole.
Mekkala
pushed hard, and farted out the following message in
Except that as soon as the evolutionist monkey implies the banana might
be undesirable for any reason other than that Gawd wished it so, the
four Fundie monkeys will jump on him and kick his ass anyway.
Christopher Denney
news:898a07d3.0310...@posting.google.com:
Thanks.
--
-- Cd -- Christopher Denney
--
Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 6.02*10^23
Spu Vomit
Yes, only monkeys can't talk...sorry and frankly I think they are much
smarter than any atheist. But what you posted sure was funny. I always
enjoy watching people make fools of themselves! Anymore?
Thanks!
I AM SPU VOMIT AND I PUKED ON YOU.
Von Bailey
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!
Very good, thank you for the *athiest* perspective.
von
jwk
Priests don't do nothing. They work very hard - telling others why
they are evil, why bringing a few bananas doesn't cleanse their evil,
moving other priests around the country before the law gets onto them,
picking out new silk robes. All sort of stuff.
jwk
John Thomas Grisham
> Experiment: Lock five monkeys in a cage, then hang a banana from the
> ceiling. One of the monkeys will immediately try to get the banana, but
> when that happens, spray the monkey with a fire hose. The monkey will be
> knocked down, and the others will get soaking wet. It won't take long for
> the monkeys to make the association, so, the next time any one tries to go
> for the banana, the others will beat him to stop him. Now, replace the
> monkeys one by one. When a new monkey comes in, it will see the banana, but
> the others will beat him to stop him from trying to get it. Eventually, all
> the monkeys will be replaced, none of who has be hit with the hose, but who
> beat anyone who tries to go for the banana. Thus, going for the banana will
> be taboo, but none of the monkeys will know why.
>
> This analogy fits many an institution, such as long established businesses,
> and religions.
No! That's where they got Intelligent Design!
If "someone" is setting up an experiment that is by default, ID.
The true materialist can't acknowledge the person of "someone", the
cage or anything suspended unnaturally from its ceiling. They can't
exist, as such. That would be proof of "someone" making cages and
suspending fruit, when clearly no one could possibly being doing that.
Nor can there be "someone" spraying the monkeys with a fire hose,
because there can be no fire hose. There can only be what the monkeys
have access and control over... Everything else is metaphysical.
For your experiment to be valid, all components of the experiment must
occur naturally without direction. The monkeys would have to trap
themselves in (perhaps) a cave, they'd have be be deluded into seeing
something of the appearance of a banana, it would have to be beyond of
their reach, when they extended themseves towards the banana they must
somehow redirect a nearby stream into the cage getting the occupants
soaking wet. Only after they have behaved stupidly, deluded
themselves, been unable to reach their physical goal, been punished by
their own ongoing stupidity and carried on this behavior as new
monkeys replace old monkeys could they even begin to hypothesize that
"someone" is testing them. Not even monkeys are that stupid!
JTG 10/28/03
the cutest atheist
"Mekkala" <joremovedath...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:Xns94226357...@199.45.49.11...
I agree. Post your article. I would like to see what good have a negative
implication for a theory we use as a premise in labwork to effect. Post it,
flamer
-Cutest, wondering if Ed Conrad somehow cloned himself....
Boikat
"Earle Jones" <earle...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:earle.jones-437C...@netnews.attbi.com...
I thought that applied to corproate management.
Boikat
>
Charles & Mambo
>>"The Church is like a large tree -- full of monkeys,
>>The ones on top look down and see many smiling faces.
>>The ones down below look up and see a bunch of assholes."
>
> I thought that applied to corproate management.
Churches *are* corporations compared to which Enrons and Arthur Andersens of
this world are like kiddie lemonade stands.
--
Earle Jones
"Boikat" <boi...@nowen.bellsouth.net> wrote:
*
What's the difference? Church hierarchy -- corporate management?
earle
*
Boikat
True. :P
Boikat
> *
>
William Klee
There's a difference?
Paul
> ceiling. One of the monkeys will immediately try to get the banana, but
> when that happens, spray the monkey with a fire hose. The monkey will be
> knocked down, and the others will get soaking wet. It won't take long
for
> the monkeys to make the association, so, the next time any one tries to go
> for the banana, the others will beat him to stop him. Now, replace the
> monkeys one by one. When a new monkey comes in, it will see the banana,
but
> the others will beat him to stop him from trying to get it. Eventually,
all
> the monkeys will be replaced, none of who has be hit with the hose, but
who
> beat anyone who tries to go for the banana. Thus, going for the banana
will
> be taboo, but none of the monkeys will know why.
>
> This analogy fits many an institution, such as long established
businesses,
> and religions.
>
Was this a real experiment or is the story made up?
- Paul
darth_versive
I don't know about how monkeys would think under these conditions, but
the analogy doesn't work for me because people would actually
conceptualize rationales as to why they can't have the banana.
Their rationales may be mythological, and seem like nonsense to more
realistic types, but nevertheless, I've never met anyone who would act
in this way you ascribe to the monkeys--without knowing why, and
without asking why.
Taboos are based on (or are associated with) mythological reasoning,
not a lack of reasoning.
Many atheists though (in my experience), find it very easy to think
that religious types are acting without any conscious, coherent
reasoning whatsoever. Perhaps this is because the mythological lines
of reasoning seem so incongruous to them, that they dismiss them as
actual reasoning, and find it easier to accept the idea that religious
types act without any coherent reasoning at all. This view by
atheists is itself an interesteing psychological phenomenon (it is for
me, anyway).
DV
stoney
wrote in alt.atheism;
>
>"Randy Story" <rsto...@olypen.com> wrote in message
>news:vprbce1...@corp.supernews.com...
>>
>> "RHertz" <rhe...@spamlesscox.net> wrote in message
>> news:8Xhnb.1340$Re.182@lakeread06...
>> > Experiment: Lock five monkeys in a cage, then hang a banana from the
>> > ceiling. One of the monkeys will immediately try to get the banana, but
>> > when that happens, spray the monkey with a fire hose. The monkey will
>be
>> > knocked down, and the others will get soaking wet. It won't take long
>> for
>> > the monkeys to make the association, so, the next time any one tries to
>go
>> > for the banana, the others will beat him to stop him. Now, replace the
>> > monkeys one by one. When a new monkey comes in, it will see the banana,
>> but
>> > the others will beat him to stop him from trying to get it. Eventually,
>> all
>> > the monkeys will be replaced, none of who has be hit with the hose, but
>> who
>> > beat anyone who tries to go for the banana. Thus, going for the banana
>> will
>> > be taboo, but none of the monkeys will know why.
>> >
>> > This analogy fits many an institution, such as long established
>> businesses,
>> > and religions.
>> >
>>
>> Sounds just like atheists!!
>
>Explain that remark.
Randy can't. That statement of his was totally accidental. When
drooling idiots like him make sounds you've got to expect occasional
verbage strings that seem to emulate words.
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
stoney
<ruk...@pern.invalid>, Message ID:
<gdtrpvcnlfet22lb3...@Pern.rk> wrote in alt.atheism;
>On Mon, 27 Oct 2003 23:43:16 +0000 (UTC), "Randy Story"
><rsto...@olypen.com> posted in alt.atheism:
>
>>Sounds just like atheists!!
>
>Another post that went right over your head, eh, Randy?
Effortlessly at that.
Unknown
Ha ha! Now that's a good one! Glad I wasn't eating or drinking
anything when I read that! :)
Christopher Denney
news:281020031940136542%fno...@yahoo.com:
Well, CEOs of corporations are sometimes held accountable for their
actions.
--
-- Cd -- Christopher Denney
--
The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder
of civilization. -Sigmund Freud
Earle Jones
Charles & Mambo <Duc...@get.lost> wrote:
> Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, better than a cup of gold
> See, only a Chocolate Jesus can satisfy my soul
> When the weather gets rough and its whiskey in the shade
> Best to wrap your Savior up in cellophane
> He flows like the Big Muddy, but that's okay
> Pour him over ice-cream for a nice parfait...
> Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, make me feel so good inside
> Got to be a Chocolate Jesus, keep me satisfied
*
Is that Tom Waits?
My favorite of his is "Cold, Cold Ground" followed closely by "You're
Innocent When you Dream".
earle
*
John Wilkins
I like the earlier stuff, like Heart Attack and Vine. "Kentucky Avenue"
is one of my faves. But then I was a Waits fan back when I still had
taste, in the 80s...
--
John Wilkins wilkins.id.au
For long you live and high you fly,
and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
and all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be
ArWeGod
That is one Eternal Banana. After all that time, wouldn't one of the monkeys
say, "What stinks?"
-ArWeMonkeys