Just as Well

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

Just as Well

There isn't much to do, it's just as well
today will be like every other day -
I guess I'll write another villanelle.

The grass has grown hip-high, an oak tree fell,
the repo-man just towed my car way -
there isn't much to do it's just as well.

Jehovahs camp my porch, they ring the bell
and wait, why won't they go away?
I guess I'll write another villanelle.

My fridge has stopped, I wallow in the smell
of rotting food, mold, mildew and decay.
There isn't much to do it's just as well

they cut the power off, well I can tell
you even if I could I wouldn't pay!
I guess I'll write another villanelle.

Why does this life require I leave my shell?
I'm not the type to go outside and play.
There isn't much to do, it's just as well;
I guess I'll write another Villanelle.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

The grass has grown hip high, an oak tree fell,
my laundry's piled up high like bales of hay -

there isn't much to do it's just as well.

Jehovahs camp my porch, they ring the bell

and wait. I hide. Why won't they go away?

I guess I'll write another villanelle.

My fridge has stopped, I wallow in the smell
of rotting food, mold, mildew and decay.

There isn't much to do. It's just as well

they cut the power off, as I can tell

you even if I could I wouldn't pay!
I guess I'll write another villanelle.

Why does this life require I leave my shell?
I'm not the type to go outside and play.
There isn't much to do, it's just as well;
I guess I'll write another Villanelle.

edited

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Monday, May 13, 2013 4:46:07 AM UTC-4, Hieronymous House wrote:
> 3:35 AMqwerty...@gmail.com
>
> - show quoted text -

>
> The grass has grown hip high, an oak tree fell,
>
> my laundry's piled up high like bales of hay -
>
> there isn't much to do it's just as well.
>
>
>
> Jehovahs camp my porch, they ring the bell
>
> and wait. I hide. Why won't they go away?
>
> I guess I'll write another villanelle.
>
>
>
> My fridge has stopped, I wallow in the smell
>
> of rotting food, mold, mildew and decay.
>
> There isn't much to do. It's just as well
>
>
>
> they cut the power off, as I can tell
>
> you even if I could I wouldn't pay!
>
> I guess I'll write another villanelle.
>
>
>
> Why does this life require I leave my shell?
>
> I'm not the type to go outside and play.
>
> There isn't much to do, it's just as well;
>
> I guess I'll write another Villanelle.
>
>
>
> edited
>
>
>

> Brilliant. You're a genius. Thanks.

yah, thanks.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Monday, May 13, 2013 4:50:25 AM UTC-4, Hieronymous House wrote:
> 4:48 AMqwerty...@gmail.com

>
> - show quoted text -
>

> yah, thanks.
>
>
>
> No worries. Learn anything?

pretty ambiguous question.
Specify?

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Monday, May 13, 2013 5:17:51 AM UTC-4, Hieronymous House wrote:
> 5:10 AMqwerty...@gmail.com

>
> - show quoted text -
>

> pretty ambiguous question.
>
> Specify?
>
>
>
> Sorry. Sure. Did you learn anything specific about the writing process or about yourself from writing the poem, or from me through my response to it?

well, it was originally written as a poetry practice exercise to another board as an example of how to write a villanelle:

Working with refrains: The Villanelle
The Villanelle is another classic form that finds its roots in France. The form is one of the most recognized but least practiced due to the constriction of balancing twin refrains. The concept of a "good" one seems to be split into 2 camps: 1) It balance the refrains effortlessly while subtly blending them into the lyric making the repetition almost unnoticeable. 2) It accents the refrain in order to build strength through the repetition. Most modern usage tends to favor the first, even altering punctuation or even wording in order to make the repetition less overbearing though, strictly, the wording should not be altered. Due to the twin refrains, the form strongly resists the narrative but lends nicely to the lyric.

The rules of the Villanelle are easy to learn but difficult to make work.

1. A Villanelle has 19 lines broken into 5 tercets (3-line stanzas) and a finishing quatrain (4 line stanza) sometimes treated as an envoi but not required to do so.
2. A Villanelle has 2 refrains - I will refer to them as A1 and A2 in my diagram. The first refrain (A1) is the first line of the poem and then repeats as the third line of each alternating stanza (2 , 4 and 6 ) . The second refrain is the 3rd line of the poem and repeats as the third line of stanzas 3, 5 and as the last line of the poem.
3. A Villanelle has a fixed meter. Today iambic pentameter is the most popular but there was a time iambic tetrameter was.
4. A Villanelle rhymes in the pattern A1 - b - A2, a - b - A1, a - b - A2, a - b - A1, a - b - A2, a - b - A1 - A2 where capital letters indicate a refrain and small letters indicate a rhyme.

Here is an example I just wrote to demonstrate so please do not judge too harshly.


so, yes, mostly what I learned was to take more than 5 minutes creating practice examples because there are bound to be errors.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Monday, May 13, 2013 6:06:16 AM UTC-4, Hieronymous House wrote:
> 5:46 AMqwerty...@gmail.com

>
> - show quoted text -
>

> well, it was originally written as a poetry practice exercise to another board as an example of how to write a villanelle:
>
>
>
> Working with refrains: The Villanelle
>
> The Villanelle is another classic form that finds its roots in France. The form is one of the most recognized but least practiced due to the constriction of balancing twin refrains. The concept of a "good" one seems to be split into 2 camps: 1) It balance the refrains effortlessly while subtly blending them into the lyric making the repetition almost unnoticeable. 2) It accents the refrain in order to build strength through the repetition. Most modern usage tends to favor the first, even altering punctuation or even wording in order to make the repetition less overbearing though, strictly, the wording should not be altered. Due to the twin refrains, the form strongly resists the narrative but lends nicely to the lyric.
>
>
>
> The rules of the Villanelle are easy to learn but difficult to make work.
>
>
>
> 1. A Villanelle has 19 lines broken into 5 tercets (3-line stanzas) and a finishing quatrain (4 line stanza) sometimes treated as an envoi but not required to do so.
>
> 2. A Villanelle has 2 refrains - I will refer to them as A1 and A2 in my diagram. The first refrain (A1) is the first line of the poem and then repeats as the third line of each alternating stanza (2 , 4 and 6 ) . The second refrain is the 3rd line of the poem and repeats as the third line of stanzas 3, 5 and as the last line of the poem.
>
> 3. A Villanelle has a fixed meter. Today iambic pentameter is the most popular but there was a time iambic tetrameter was.
>
> 4. A Villanelle rhymes in the pattern A1 - b - A2, a - b - A1, a - b - A2, a - b - A1, a - b - A2, a - b - A1 - A2 where capital letters indicate a refrain and small letters indicate a rhyme.
>
>
>
> Here is an example I just wrote to demonstrate so please do not judge too harshly.
>
>
>
>
>
> so, yes, mostly what I learned was to take more than 5 minutes creating practice examples because there are bound to be errors.
>
>
>

> Thanks for the thoughtful response.
>
> I'm familiar with the form, but don't
>
> write very good villainelles. This is
>
> the only example I think I've posted:
>
>
>
> Villainelle
>
>
>
> A villainelle ain't easy to write
>
> unless y'ah chooses to do it my way.
>
> Press them keys, if you please. Let y'alls minds take flight!
>
>
>
> I know some have struggled through exactly that plight,
>
> and gone off in a state of utter dismay,
>
> 'cause a villanelle ain't easy to write.
>
>
>
> Some folks have said my poems is a blight
>
> on net, and paper. Still, every day
>
> I presses my keys as I pleases, and lets my minds take flight.
>
>
>
> I bathe in the Glory, like a written word might
>
> show function and form struggling in this way,
>
> 'cause a villanelle ain't easy to write.
>
>
>
> I challenge your Strength; your Engagement, your Fight.
>
> So here's your invitation to join the fray.
>
> Press y'ah keys if you please. Let y'ah minds takes flight!
>
>
>
> Sometimes, mostly always, the words don't fit quite Right,
>
> so don't listen to what I have Left to say,
>
> 'cause this villanelle weren't easy to write.
>
> Press your keys as you please. Let y'ah own minds take flight!
>
>
>
> http://hieronymous707.blogspot.com/2012/03/villain-l.html

They really aren't easy to write. I know you aren't actually interested in changing anything so I will refrain from commenting.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Monday, May 13, 2013 6:41:09 AM UTC-4, Hieronymous House wrote:
> 6:32 AMqwerty...@gmail.com

>
> - show quoted text -
>

> They really aren't easy to write. I know you aren't actually interested in changing anything so I will refrain from commenting.
>
>
>

> Please. I'm open to any suggestions. I've changed that one piece at least several dozen times since I wrote it. Nothing would interest me more right now than your comments. Thanks.

ok, I would cut the cliche out of the refrain. I know you took the diction of someone not writing a good villanelle and that is the point so it works, but repeating a cliche over and over again in a refrain is just so tedious.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Monday, May 13, 2013 7:44:23 AM UTC-4, Hieronymous House wrote:
> 7:28 AMqwerty...@gmail.com

>
> - show quoted text -
>

> ok, I would cut the cliche out of the refrain. I know you took the diction of someone not writing a good villanelle and that is the point so it works, but repeating a cliche over and over again in a refrain is just so tedious.
>
>
>

> I couldn't agree more. Good night, I'm certainly no Dylan Thomas.

sigh. I knew this would happen, that is why I wasn't going to say anything. It's perfect, don't change a thing, it is part of your charm.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Monday, May 13, 2013 8:07:08 AM UTC-4, Hieronymous House wrote:
> 7:52 AMqwerty...@gmail.com

>
> - show quoted text -
>

> sigh. I knew this would happen, that is why I wasn't going to say anything. It's perfect, don't change a thing, it is part of your charm.
>
>
>

> More to the point, it's specifically written to be obvious, imperfect and tedious, but with enough wit and charm as to elicit a well considered, positive response from its reader, like a smile or laughter. That's what I do, like a one trick pony. I'm no great thinker or writer. I know my limits.

yah, that is why I started out saying "I know you aren't interested in changing anything so i will refrain from commenting"

no biggies.

I don't even know why I write so I don't expect to know why you do.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

It's Why

It's why
I go
to cry.

I try
to know.
It's why

I'm shy,
although,
to cry

for my
small woe,
is why.

Get high,
ergo
to cry.



Don't pry,
I'll show
it's why
to cry

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

I've lost my shoe;
I need to go.
Oh, what to do.

I checked the loo
and in the row.
I've lost my shoe!

I'm telling you
I just don't know.
Oh. What to do?

It's time I flew
off to the show.
I've lost my shoe!

I'd get one new
I don't have dough.
Oh, what to do?

I guess I'm through
I can't go, no
I've lost my shoe.
Oh, what to do?

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

Corey said:
Don't ask me.
I have no idea
what you should
do with this piece.

-------------------

It is not to be taken too seriously, just exercise. You like to exercise, why not bang one out?

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

Corey wrote:
Good analogy. I think pretty much everything can be described as an exercise of sorts, and I write plenty of rhymes and whatnot here. Not that it gets much attention; just saying I get plenty of exercise. Besides, I have to stretch out real good before I exercise or I'll really tighten up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, although these are strictly exercises in that there is probably no poetic "merit" whatsoever but the do demonstrate the discipline and sometimes other can be coaxed along if they see how easy it can be.

[Will Dockery]

qwerty wrote:
>
> Yes, although these are strictly exercises in that there is probably no poetic "merit" whatsoever but the do demonstrate the discipline and sometimes other can be coaxed along if they see how easy it can be.

Kerouac called such pieces "Pops", possibly for obvious reasons.

I say write them but try to make it art rather than just slopping around in self indulgent (and bad) rhymes and gobbledegook.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

don't you mean "in your opinion bad rhymes and gobbledygook" as someone might think they are good?

[Will Dockery]

Sure, everything I post here is my opinion, from my perspective.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

ok, that's great, but it is a catch-22. no one knows if what they write will equate to "bad rhymes and gobbledygook" in your opinion and you are unlikely to be around to tell everyone all the time, no?

Oh, the problems we create when we relegate all quality to subjectivity!

[Will Dockery]

qwerty wrote:
>
> ok, that's great, but it is a catch-22. no one knows if what they write will equate to "bad rhymes and gobbledygook" in your opinion and you are unlikely to be around to tell everyone all the time, no?
>
> Oh, the problems we create when we relegate all quality to subjectivity!

Well, I began by citing Kerouac, and so I'm sure I meant and mean poetry to his (and as a student, my) standards on poetry. I judged the rhymes you were spinning to be what he called "Pops", but subjectively within Kerouac's 6 or 7 poetry forms he once laid down, another might fit, such as the "Blues":

http://pennyspoetry.wikia.com/wiki/Blues_(Jack_Kerouac)

"A 'Blues' is Beat Generation writer Jack Kerouac's term for "a complete poem written filling in one notebook page, of small or medium size, usually in 15-to25 lines, known as a Chorus, i.e., 223rd Chourus of Mexico City Blues in the Book of Blues..."

Running out of time, but the definition of Pop is somewhere over here, or there, if you're not familiar with all this beat stuff.

[Will Dockery]

On Monday, May 13, 2013 1:15:35 AM UTC-4, qwerty...@gmail.com wrote:
> Just as Well
>
>
>
> There isn't much to do, it's just as well
>
> today will be like every other day -
>
> I guess I'll write another villanelle.
>
>
>
> The grass has grown hip-high, an oak tree fell,
>
> the repo-man just towed my car way -
>
> there isn't much to do it's just as well.
>
>
>
> Jehovahs camp my porch, they ring the bell
>
> and wait, why won't they go away?
>
> I guess I'll write another villanelle.
>
>
>
> My fridge has stopped, I wallow in the smell
>
> of rotting food, mold, mildew and decay.
>
> There isn't much to do it's just as well
>
>
>
> they cut the power off, well I can tell
>
> you even if I could I wouldn't pay!
>
> I guess I'll write another villanelle.
>
>
>
> Why does this life require I leave my shell?
>
> I'm not the type to go outside and play.
>
> There isn't much to do, it's just as well;
>
> I guess I'll write another Villanelle.

Okay, hopefully we can take Karla's reminder

"Do not mistake the speaker of the poem with the writer of the poem..."

Here... but this is most certainly a "Blues" in the Kerouac snese as well as the traditional!

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

I am actually /never/ the narrator in what I write, unfortunately my life is too boring to write about.

This was constructed as a simple lesson in how to write a villanelle so it doesn't really /mean/ anything.

[Will Dockery]

qwerty wrote:
>
> I am actually /never/ the narrator in what I write, unfortunately my life is too boring to write about.
>
> This was constructed as a simple lesson in how to write a villanelle so it doesn't really /mean/ anything.

Not even the cute little fortune telling Cup Queen with the bubblegum peaches is real?!?

Oh, say it ain't so...

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

It is real for someone, but that someone is fake as are, unfortunately all of my narrators.

People do seem to like that line . . .

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Wednesday, May 15, 2013 7:00:29 AM UTC-4, Hieronymous House wrote:
> With respect to accordions and working the street
>
> with hats being found on the ground at one's feet,
>
> one learns how to earn by the note, and one key
>
> to success is suggested less by organ than monkey.
>
>
>
> C&C appreciated.

it doesn't bother me but some consider it poor manners to post a poem for c&C in a post that is headed by a poem.

Just a thought.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

Corey said:

My apologies.

---------------------

No problem, I just don't want you to appear boorish to others.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

Piper pied

1, 2, 3 , 4 she chants
is how we keep our time
then 5, 6, 7 - dance!

The children start to prance
the piper starts to rhyme
1, 2, 3, 4, she chants.

A movement circumstance
as two more join the chime
then 5, 6, 7, dance.

A banker splits his pants
and joins his place in line
1, 2, 3, 4 she chants!

A dancing village trance
forever stuck in mime
then 5, 6, 7, dance.

The Hamelin mayor's stance
has changed about this crime.
1, 2, 3, 4 she chants
then 5, 6, 7, - dance!

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

When cats and dogs are in my bed
and morning dew still weeps
it's hard to think of quadrupeds.

Just hours ago I laid my head
in wooziness but I can't sleep
when cats and dogs are in my bed.

I thought I'd write but now instead
I think I'd rather talk of sheep.
It's hard to think of quadrupeds

as more than tenants to be fed
I don't hear chickens make a peep
when cats and dogs are in my bed.

A horse of course is coarse as bread
in bed he wakes you with his leap.
It's hard to think of quadrupeds.

Tonight I'll lock them in the shed
and pray to god the lock will keep.
When cats and dogs are in my bed
It's hard to think of quadrupeds.

[Will Dockery]

On Saturday, May 18, 2013 7:26:00 PM UTC-4, Peter J Ross wrote:
> In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Sat, 18 May 2013 11:56:26 -0700 (PDT),

> Will Dockery wrote:
>> qwerty wrote:
>

> >> it doesn't bother me but some consider it poor manners to post a
> >> poem for c&C in a post that is headed by a poem.
>

> Some consider it poor manners

So much for pretending to have me "Killfiled", eh, Obsesso?

--
Music & poetry from Will Dockery & The Shadowville All-Stars:
http://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

[Will Dockery]

Peter J Ross wrote:
>
> > Music & poetry
>
> Try to learn what music and poetry are.

I'm working on that, Pete, thanks.

[Will Dockery]

"Peter J Ross" wrote:

<snipped for clarity>

> The theory that a RAP post was always off-topic if it didn't contain a
> poem didn't survive much scrutiny. By the 1990s, the term "ob poem"
> had come to mean
> any poem posted instead of, or as a supplement to, a prose comment,
> with only a residual sense of obligation.

Thanks for defining ob poems for us, PJR, you're turning into ma regular
elder statesman around here... heh.

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

On Saturday, May 18, 2013 7:26:00 PM UTC-4, Peter J Ross wrote:
> In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Sat, 18 May 2013 11:56:26 -0700 (PDT),
>

> Will Dockery wrote:
>
>
>
> > qwerty wrote:
>
> >>
>

> >> it doesn't bother me but some consider it poor manners to post a
>
> >> poem for c&C in a post that is headed by a poem.
>
>
>

> Some consider it poor manners for Squirty to spam AAPC with drunken
>
> doggerel, ignorant comments and friendly chats with net.vermin.
>
ah , I see the estimation of my writing has gone down with the estimation of my character. Some might say that speaks to Peter's credibility.

also "friendly chats with net.vermin."

"Peter" might want to look up the word rude in an english dictionary as it seems basic comprehension and writing skills escape him.

[Will Dockery]

A great example of Peter's lying hypocrisy is his defense and support for plagiarists and copyright abusers on one hand (Mike Cook), while obsessively whining about the alegedly similar actions of others he obsesses over (such as Chuck Lysghat).

[qwerty...@gmail.com]

Peter lacks any skills at reasonable discourse. To make up for it, as soon as someone disagrees with him he inevitably calls them a 1) Plagiarist, 2) Drunk/druggie, 3) Paedophile.

It is a tired predictable routine that casts doubts about any claim he ever makes. There needs to be a Godwin's law variant in AAPC with regards to plagiary/thievery/copy abuse (Peter doesn't know the difference between the 3 and uses them interchangeably)

[Will Dockery]

And of course alternate realities are created by the thinking and dreaming of them, as a teacher friend interested in String Theory points out sometimes.

--
http://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery/song/11596860-gone-too-far--dockery-mallard-snipe
— with Brian Mallard and 4 others at The Shadowville All-Stars.