Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss

Toilet roll wackos

1 view
Skip to first unread message

Lardy Girl

unread,
May 14, 2013, 6:05:24 PM5/14/13
to
It's another weird-news anagram, this time with an ever-to-helpful 'z':

The /New York Post/ reports on a fight between a brother and sister
who share a home. Howard Meltzer, 67, said that there had been a full
roll of toilet paper in the morning but by later in the day Bernice
Meltzer, 72, had 'unloaded a whole roll and left just a little, and
when I looked up to the reserve, it wasn't there'.
Determining that she had taken the roll into her room, he began
banging on the door. In the five hours that followed, he begged a
grocery store to deliver two packs of Charmin and he warned his
sister that he would call the police if the roll weren't back by
1:00am. She returned it at about midnight but rang the police
herself, to complain about her brother haranguing her.
Both have been charged with violation of a protection order.

Howard Meltzer and sister Bernice =
Let's remind: two crazed brains here! =
Be odder: zaniest Charmin-wrestler!


--
A n n a S h e f l - For email, substitute 'usenet' for its anagram
- "Never eat more than you can lift." --Miss Piggy -
alt.anagrams FAQ: http://theanna.org/grams/
Weird news archive and more: http://theanna.org/

Jon Gearhart

unread,
May 19, 2013, 7:45:51 PM5/19/13
to
Lardy Girl wrote:
> It's another weird-news anagram, this time with an ever-to-helpful 'z':
>
> The /New York Post/ reports on a fight between a brother and sister
> who share a home. Howard Meltzer, 67, said that there had been a full
> roll of toilet paper in the morning but by later in the day Bernice
> Meltzer, 72, had 'unloaded a whole roll and left just a little, and
> when I looked up to the reserve, it wasn't there'.
> Determining that she had taken the roll into her room, he began
> banging on the door. In the five hours that followed, he begged a
> grocery store to deliver two packs of Charmin and he warned his
> sister that he would call the police if the roll weren't back by
> 1:00am. She returned it at about midnight but rang the police
> herself, to complain about her brother haranguing her.
> Both have been charged with violation of a protection order.
>
> Howard Meltzer and sister Bernice =
> Let's remind: two crazed brains here! =
> Be odder: zaniest Charmin-wrestler!
>
>

Charmin-wrestler -HA!

I think I'll avoid the z

Howard and sister Bernice=
RE: The cardboard news is in

Earth Jargon

Lardy Girl

unread,
May 25, 2013, 5:44:53 AM5/25/13
to
Jon Gearhart <earth...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> Lardy Girl wrote:
> > It's another weird-news anagram, this time with an ever-to-helpful 'z':

> > Howard Meltzer and sister Bernice =
> > Let's remind: two crazed brains here! =
> > Be odder: zaniest Charmin-wrestler!

> Charmin-wrestler -HA!

I'm glad you liked the image. I know I did.


> I think I'll avoid the z

Probably wise.


> Howard and sister Bernice=
> RE: The cardboard news is in

Not bad.


LG

Jon Gearhart

unread,
May 25, 2013, 2:16:48 PM5/25/13
to
Lardy Girl wrote:
> Jon Gearhart <earth...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>> Lardy Girl wrote:
>>> It's another weird-news anagram, this time with an ever-to-helpful 'z':
>
>>> Howard Meltzer and sister Bernice =
>>> Let's remind: two crazed brains here! =
>>> Be odder: zaniest Charmin-wrestler!
>
>> Charmin-wrestler -HA!
>
> I'm glad you liked the image. I know I did.
>
>
>> I think I'll avoid the z
>
> Probably wise.
>
>
>> Howard and sister Bernice=
>> RE: The cardboard news is in
>
> Not bad.
>
>
> LG
>

Thanks. I thought the hole story was shitty myself. ;-p

Earth Jargon
0 new messages