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MONUMENTAL TRAFFIC JAM IN NYC ON FRIDAY
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SUPREME BEAN
Feb 7, 2012, 9:39:26 AM2/7/12
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<
NEW YORK CITY (Rueters) --
A traffic jam of Biblical proportions
is expected in the Big Apple at
5:34 p.m. Friday when New Yorkers
pause to give thanks to Almighty
God who used His influence to
help the Giants win the Super Bowl.
<
"It's our way of apologizing for
failing to give Him His just due right
after the game," said Mayor Michael
Bloomberg.
<
Eli Manning, the game's MVP
(although the honor should have
gone to You-Know-Who), said he,
his teammates and Giants fans
everywhere were just too shocked
and dumbfounded to give the
Supreme Bean His due when
it was due.
<
God performed two miracles with
time running out to help the Giants
win the Super Bowl.
<
Miraculously, both came on the
very same play: the touchdown the
Giants didn't really want (even though
they were LOSING); and the TD the
Giants allowed (even though they
were WINNING at the time).
<
(PS: Hey, Vatican, you'll have to go
pretty far to top that one.)
In any event, all traffic will come
to an abrupt stop at 5:34 p.m. Friday
and nobody will move -- not even
pedestrians or guys pushing hot
dog carts ---- for a full five minutes.
<
All car radios suddernly will be
miraculoulsy tuned on to the
same Christian Broadcasting
Station playing the sweet music
of "Nearer My God to Thee."
<
Rough-looking teens, who used
to wash your windshield at
traffic lights, will roam the lines
of stalled traffic and accepting
donations at gunpoint.
<
Meanwhile, there is an ugly,
unsubstatiated rumor afloat
that New Yorkers may NOT
be doing this to pay tribute
to God for helping the Giants
win the Super Bowl.
Instead, some say, they are doing
it because of the fear that The
Supreme Bean may keep His
promise that, because of their
original ingratitude, He won't
allow either the Giants or Damn
Yankees to reach the championhip
level of their sports until 2029.
It would come at the end of the
17-year famine that the Heavenly
Father, who undoubtedly was in
a bad mood, said He would impose
because of the way He was totally
ignored after orchestrating their
Super Bowl victory
<
WHAT FRIDAY'S TRAFFIC JAM WILL LOOK LIKE
<
http://www.ridelust.com/wp-content/uploads/traffic-jam.jpg
<
Father Guido Sarducci, who will head NYC's
traffc control on Friday, advises motorists how
far they should stay behind the vehicle ahead.
<
http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
<
===============
<
HERE'S GOD WHEN HE'S IN A BETTER MOOD
<
http://www.edconrad.org
<
NEW YORK CITY (Rueters) --
A traffic jam of Biblical proportions
is expected in the Big Apple at
5:34 p.m. Friday when New Yorkers
pause to give thanks to Almighty
God who used His influence to
help the Giants win the Super Bowl.
<
"It's our way of apologizing for
failing to give Him His just due right
after the game," said Mayor Michael
Bloomberg.
<
Eli Manning, the game's MVP
(although the honor should have
gone to You-Know-Who), said he,
his teammates and Giants fans
everywhere were just too shocked
and dumbfounded to give the
Supreme Bean His due when
it was due.
<
God performed two miracles with
time running out to help the Giants
win the Super Bowl.
<
Miraculously, both came on the
very same play: the touchdown the
Giants didn't really want (even though
they were LOSING); and the TD the
Giants allowed (even though they
were WINNING at the time).
<
(PS: Hey, Vatican, you'll have to go
pretty far to top that one.)
In any event, all traffic will come
to an abrupt stop at 5:34 p.m. Friday
and nobody will move -- not even
pedestrians or guys pushing hot
dog carts ---- for a full five minutes.
<
All car radios suddernly will be
miraculoulsy tuned on to the
same Christian Broadcasting
Station playing the sweet music
of "Nearer My God to Thee."
<
Rough-looking teens, who used
to wash your windshield at
traffic lights, will roam the lines
of stalled traffic and accepting
donations at gunpoint.
<
Meanwhile, there is an ugly,
unsubstatiated rumor afloat
that New Yorkers may NOT
be doing this to pay tribute
to God for helping the Giants
win the Super Bowl.
Instead, some say, they are doing
it because of the fear that The
Supreme Bean may keep His
promise that, because of their
original ingratitude, He won't
allow either the Giants or Damn
Yankees to reach the championhip
level of their sports until 2029.
It would come at the end of the
17-year famine that the Heavenly
Father, who undoubtedly was in
a bad mood, said He would impose
because of the way He was totally
ignored after orchestrating their
Super Bowl victory
<
WHAT FRIDAY'S TRAFFIC JAM WILL LOOK LIKE
<
http://www.ridelust.com/wp-content/uploads/traffic-jam.jpg
<
Father Guido Sarducci, who will head NYC's
traffc control on Friday, advises motorists how
far they should stay behind the vehicle ahead.
<
http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
<
===============
<
HERE'S GOD WHEN HE'S IN A BETTER MOOD
<
http://www.edconrad.org
<
Illegal_Alien
Feb 7, 2012, 2:39:41 PM2/7/12
to
DUDE, seriously WTF are you talking about?
Michael Stemper
Feb 8, 2012, 8:28:34 AM2/8/12
to
In article <9d34b57a-4fb2-4b0d...@1g2000yqv.googlegroups.com>, Illegal_Alien <jma...@gmail.com> writes:
>DUDE, seriously WTF are you talking about?
That's just Ed "old as coal" Conrad. The moon is full, you realize.
>DUDE, seriously WTF are you talking about?
--
Michael F. Stemper
#include <Standard_Disclaimer>
Reunite Gondwanaland!
Sir Gilligan Horry
Feb 8, 2012, 8:38:47 AM2/8/12
to
On Tue, 7 Feb 2012 06:39:26 -0800 (PST), SUPREME BEAN
<heavenly....@gmail.com> wrote:
>HERE'S GOD WHEN HE'S IN A BETTER MOOD
><
>http://www.edconrad.org
YeeeeeeeHaaaaaaar !!!
<heavenly....@gmail.com> wrote:
>HERE'S GOD WHEN HE'S IN A BETTER MOOD
><
>http://www.edconrad.org
___
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