ED CONRAD STILL RESOLVING GREATEST MYSTERIES
Bullshit Remover
First, some background music, Maestro
http://www.nurple.com/sideshow/
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> PREVIOUS GREAT MYSTERIES SOLVED
> (Three Cheers for Ed Conrad)
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BOTH ATHEISTS, CREATIONISTS HAVE IT WRONG
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.astro.amateur/msg/15b2f408f49e8501
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HOW "COLOMBO" DISCOVERED AMERICA...
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.astro/msg/9c350823040c0512
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EXTRATERRESTRIALS SUPERVISED CONSTRUCTION OF PYRAMIDS
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.astro/msg/a113359482eaad9a
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WHY THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA WAS BUILT
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/msg/484d8f27be250c9e
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================================
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< ANOTHER GREAT MYSTERY SOLVED
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Making the rounds of controversial and heated debate once again these
days is honest, sensible discussion to answer the time-honored
question:
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> WHICH CAME FIRST?
> THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
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Let's analyze the situation using some good ol' common sense.
UNDENIABLE FACT NO. 1: The chicken *couldn't* have come first because,
adhering to the ground rules, there had to be an egg from which to
hatch the chicken.
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Obviously, if there hadn't been an egg, there could *never* have been
a chicken.
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(Since we all know chickens hatch from eggs. If you have any doubts,
ask any farmer.)
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UNDENIABLE FACT No. 2: The egg couldn't have come before the chicken
-- at least in this particular scenario -- because, according to the
ground rules, there hadn't been a previous chicken to have laid the
egg from which a chicken arrived via the conventional route of having
been hatched from an egg.
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If a chicken, however, *didn't* lay that egg -- not necessarily the
chicken in question but quite possibly a different chicken -- and
without an egg we know there can be no chicken, since even a numbskull
is
aware that chickens DO come from eggs.
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Ditto for the chicken, since there theoretically was no egg hatched
to eventually become a chick, then eventually a chicken -- and it H
to become
a hen because everyone knows hens lay chickens and roosters are only
around to wake up many people at 5 a.m., not only farmers.
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However, without an egg, logic dictates that there could not have
been a chicken (or, for that matter, an egg), since the egg in our
theoretical question was *still* an egg and had not yet become a
chicken).)
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But let's look at it from *another* less-complicated angle.
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Say there was a chicken that *had* laid an egg that had become a
chicken after hatching from the egg but, theoretically the
prponderence of evidence later
indicated that there had been no chicken around to lay any eggs from
which this particular e chiicken had hatched to lay more eggs to hatch
many more
eggs to create many more chickens.
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The problem is compounded by the undeniable fact that the chicken in
question, which under normal circumstances would lay some eggs, *did
not* lay the egg that is subject of debate in "Which Came First? The
Chicken or the Egg," since the egg -- at least theoretically --
couldn't have been laid by that chicken (the chicken in question),
unless of course the chicken had been around longer than the egg.
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However -- and here it begins to get a bit complicated
-- in this particular situation, this particular chicken could not
have come first -- *before* the egg -- since chickens come from eggs
and the egg could not have come first, since chickens have to be
around to lay
eggs that eventually wind up as chickens who, in turn, lay more eggs
to create more chickens.
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It stands to reason that the chicken in this story could not possibly
have become a chicken if there was no (chicken) egg, and no egg could
ever become a chicken if there hadn't been a chicken around to lay the
egg that in turn would result in a chicken -- whether or not this
particular chicken --
would eventually lay more eggs to hatch more chickens.
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The only obvious answer -- other than creation or evolution -- is
whether the chicken was carrying the egg when it crossed the road --
the subject of that other brain-twister, "Why Did the Chicken
Cross the Road?" .
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Tjhis undoubtedly means that thet the only reasonable answer to "Which
Came First: The Chicken or the Egg" is that it's a dead heat.
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Both obviously arrived at the first time, either the chicken carrying
the egg or the egg containing the chicken == or vice-versa,or versa-
VISA (predicated on the fact that either had that type credit card
(and NOT Mastercharge).
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The only remaining question, then, is where both the chicken and/or
the egg had come from, which is a bit more complicated than "Which
Came First: The Chicken or the Egg? -- but that, too, will be easily
solved, same as other great mysteries of life, if I have a day or two
to think about it, and after consulting with my good friends Larry
King, Stephen Hawkins and Howard Stern.
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Ed Conrad, Ph.D., I.D.I.O.T.
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WORLD'S TOP-RANKED UNIVERSITIES
(Study Hard and You May Become Almost as Smart as Me)
Rank Name of University Country
1 Harvard University USA
2 University of Oxford UK
3 University of Cambridge UK
4 Stanford University USA
5 Massachusetts Institute of Technology USA
6 University of California, Berkeley USA
7 California Institute of Technology USA
8 Princeton University USA
9 Yale University USA
10 University of Chicago USA
11 Columbia University USA
12 University of California, San Diego USA
13 Cornell University USA
14 University of California, Los Angeles USA
15 University Pennsylvania USA
16 University of Wisconsin, Madison USA
17 University of Washington, Seattle USA
18 Tokyo University Japan
19 University of California, San Francisco USA
20 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor USA
21 Kyoto University Japan
22 Imperial College London UK
23 Johns Hopkins University USA
24 University of Toronto Canada
25 University College London UK
26 University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign USA
27 Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, Zurich Switzerland
28 Washington University, St. Louis USA
29 New York University USA
30 Duke University USA
31 University of Minnesota, Twin Cities USA
32 Northwestern University USA
33 Rockefeller University USA
34 University of Colorado, Boulder USA
35 University of California, Santa Barbara USA
36 University of British Columbia Canada
37 University of Maryland, College Park USA
38 Utrecht University Netherlands
39 University of Texas, Austin USA
40 University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center USA
41 Pennsylvania State University, University Park USA
42 University of California, Davis USA
43 Vanderbilt University USA
44 University of California, Irvine USA
45 University of Paris 06 France
46 University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh USA
47 University of Southern California USA
48 Rutgers State University, New Brunswick USA
49 University of Manchester UK
50 Karolinska Institute, Stockholm Sweden
51 University of Munich Germany
52 Technical University of Munich Germany
53 University of Florida USA
54 University of Edinburgh UK
55 Australian National University Australia
56 Carnegie Mellon University USA
57 University of Copenhagen Denmark
58 University of Zurich Switzerland
59 Hebrew University, Jerusalem Israel
60 Osaka University Japan
61 McGill University Canada
62 University of Bristol UK
63 University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill USA
64 Uppsala University Sweden
65 Ohio State University, Columbus USA
66 University of Paris 11 France
67 University of Sheffield UK
68 University of Heidelberg Germany
69 University of Oslo Norway
70 Case Western Reserve University USA
71 Moscow State University Russia
72 University of Leiden Netherlands
73 Purdue University, West Lafayette USA
74 University of Helsinki Finland
75 University of Rochester USA
76 University of Melbourne Australia
77 Tohoku University Japan
78 University of Nottingham UK
79 University of Arizona USA
80 Michigan State University USA
81 King's College London UK
82 Boston University USA
83 University of Basel Switzerland
84 Stockholm University Sweden
85 Brown University USA
86 University of Goettingen Germany
87 Rice University USA
88 Texas A&M University, College Station USA
89 Tokyo Institute of Technology Japan
90 University of Birmingham UK
91 University of Utah USA
92 University of Freiburg Germany
93 McMaster University Canada
94 Nagoya University Japan
95 University of Iowa USA
96 University of Strasbourg 1 France
97 Ecole Normale Super Paris France
98 Indiana University, Bloomington USA
99 Arizona State University, Tempe USA
100 University of Rome La Sapienza Italy
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No. 7,127 -- Ediacara University-- Home of the Manchurian Candidates
of talk.origins
David Iain Greig -- Emeritus Professor of Bullshit