Background Information for Glen Portela Prepared by Melissa Abate, MSW July, 2001
Below please find your non-identifying information. This information has been taken from the agency records and has not been verified. I hope that you find it answers some questions for you.
According to the social record, your birth mother was 21 years old at the time of your birth. She was further described in the record as being a petite, 5' tall young woman who normally weighed 100 pounds. She had blue eyes, medium brown hair and appeared to be much younger than her 21 years. Your birth mother was of the Protestant faith and of Irish and German nationality. Your birth mother was a high school graduate who had also attended beautician school. At the time of your birth, your birth mother was employed as a hairdresser. According to the social record, your birth mother enjoyed all outdoor activities and was in good health.
Your birth mother shared the following information about her family with her social worker. Your birth maternal grandmother (your birth mother's mother) was 44 years old at the time of your birth and of Irish ancestry. According to the social record, your birth mother's mother was in good health at the time of your birth and was employed in the delicatessen of the local super market. Your birth maternal grandfather (your birth mother's father) was 45 years old at the time of your birth and was employed in the business field. There was no further information in the record about your birth mother's
father.
Your birth mother shared that she was the eldest in her family and had two brothers and two sisters. Her eldest brother was 20 years old at the time of your birth, was a high school graduate and was employed at the time of your birth. Her next brother was 15 years old at the time of your birth and in the tenth grade. Your birth mother's sisters were 14 and 13 years old at the time of your birth and were both in the eighth grade. Your birth mother shared that she had a close relationship with her mother, but was
afraid to tell her mother of the pregnancy because she "did not want to hurt her mother". Your birth mother also expressed her desire to keep the pregnancy from her younger siblings who she felt looked up to her. Ultimately, your birth mother did share the pregnancy with her parents who tried to be supportive of her. Your birth mother shared that she felt adoption was in your best interest as she would not be able to provide for you either financially or emotionally because she was living on her own and did not want to burden her family with a baby.
Your birth mother shared the following information about your birth father with her social worker. Your birth father was described in the record as being a 21 years old, Caucasian, Protestant, Irish, young man who was a high school graduate employed in construction. Physically your birth mother described your birth father as being 5'10" tall, weighing 160 pounds with blue eyes and blonde hair. Your birth parents attended high school together, but did not know each other well until after high school. Your birth mother shared that they had gone on a few dates and she had not seem him for 6 months when she learned that she was pregnant. Your birth mother felt strongly that she did not want your birth father to know of the pregnancy and decided not to share it with him. There is no further information in the record about your birth father or his family.
You were born on January 2, 1970 at 9:43 pm after 5 hours and 53 minutes of labor. At birth you weighed 5 pounds and 15 ounces and were 20" long. You were circumcised at the hospital on January 3, 1970 and discharged from the hospital on January 7, 1970 in good condition. Your birth mother and your birth mother's mother accompanied you to the agency. At this point your
birth mother asked many questions about your future and expressed concern that you be placed in your permanent home as quickly as possible. Your birth mother expressed pride in the fact that you were an attractive and
healthy baby and expressed her desire that you grow up healthy and happy. Your birth mother shared that she hoped to return to work as soon as possible as she felt it would be best if she kept busy. Your birth mother struggled with her decision to place you in adoption but felt that you should have two parents who could provide for you.
On January 30, 1970 you met your adoptive parents at the agency who expressed immediately how beautiful you were. You joined the Portela family on that day.
I hope that this answers some of your questions and I am available if you have any additional questions. Please feel free to call me at 212-360-0237 with any questions.
If this is you please feel free to contact. Love , Glen
Just an aside: Is it normal to circumcise newborns?
Helen "Glen portela" <gport...@bellatlantic.net> wrote in message news:3BBE6A91.2072E2BF@bellatlantic.net... All I Know Is................... Background Information for Glen Portela Prepared by Melissa Abate, MSW July, 2001
Below please find your non-identifying information. This information has been taken from the agency records and has not been verified. I hope that you find it answers some questions for you.
According to the social record, your birth mother was 21 years old at the time of your birth. She was further described in the record as being a petite, 5' tall young woman who normally weighed 100 pounds. She had blue eyes, medium brown hair and appeared to be much younger than her 21 years. Your birth mother was of the Protestant faith and of Irish and German nationality. Your birth mother was a high school graduate who had also attended beautician school. At the time of your birth, your birth mother was employed as a hairdresser. According to the social record, your birth mother enjoyed all outdoor activities and was in good health.
Your birth mother shared the following information about her family with her social worker. Your birth maternal grandmother (your birth mother's mother) was 44 years old at the time of your birth and of Irish ancestry. According to the social record, your birth mother's mother was in good health at the time of your birth and was employed in the delicatessen of the local super market. Your birth maternal grandfather (your birth mother's father) was 45 years old at the time of your birth and was employed in the business field. There was no further information in the record about your birth mother's father.
Your birth mother shared that she was the eldest in her family and had two brothers and two sisters. Her eldest brother was 20 years old at the time of your birth, was a high school graduate and was employed at the time of your birth. Her next brother was 15 years old at the time of your birth and in the tenth grade. Your birth mother's sisters were 14 and 13 years old at the time of your birth and were both in the eighth grade. Your birth mother shared that she had a close relationship with her mother, but was afraid to tell her mother of the pregnancy because she "did not want to hurt her mother". Your birth mother also expressed her desire to keep the pregnancy from her younger siblings who she felt looked up to her. Ultimately, your birth mother did share the pregnancy with her parents who tried to be supportive of her. Your birth mother shared that she felt adoption was in your best interest as she would not be able to provide for you either financially or emotionally because she was living on her own and did not want to burden her family with a baby.
Your birth mother shared the following information about your birth father with her social worker. Your birth father was described in the record as being a 21 years old, Caucasian, Protestant, Irish, young man who was a high school graduate employed in construction. Physically your birth mother described your birth father as being 5'10" tall, weighing 160 pounds with blue eyes and blonde hair. Your birth parents attended high school together, but did not know each other well until after high school. Your birth mother shared that they had gone on a few dates and she had not seem him for 6 months when she learned that she was pregnant. Your birth mother felt strongly that she did not want your birth father to know of the pregnancy and decided not to share it with him. There is no further information in the record about your birth father or his family.
You were born on January 2, 1970 at 9:43 pm after 5 hours and 53 minutes of labor. At birth you weighed 5 pounds and 15 ounces and were 20" long. You were circumcised at the hospital on January 3, 1970 and discharged from the hospital on January 7, 1970 in good condition. Your birth mother and your birth mother's mother accompanied you to the agency. At this point your birth mother asked many questions about your future and expressed concern that you be placed in your permanent home as quickly as possible. Your birth mother expressed pride in the fact that you were an attractive and healthy baby and expressed her desire that you grow up healthy and happy. Your birth mother shared that she hoped to return to work as soon as possible as she felt it would be best if she kept busy. Your birth mother struggled with her decision to place you in adoption but felt that you should have two parents who could provide for you.
On January 30, 1970 you met your adoptive parents at the agency who expressed immediately how beautiful you were. You joined the Portela family on that day.
I hope that this answers some of your questions and I am available if you have any additional questions. Please feel free to call me at 212-360-0237 with any questions.
If this is you please feel free to contact. Love , Glen
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>> Just an aside: Is it normal to circumcise newborns?
>Only the guys.
In the United States, most male babies born in hospitals have been circumcised since, I believe, the 1930s or so, in part because it was believed to reduce masturbation. The practice has come into question in recent years, and though there are valid hygienic arguments to be made in its favor, I'm unconvinced of the need for it. Others undoubtedly will disagree.
whoever ------------------- It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands develop shaking, The shaking becomes a warning; It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
> In the United States, most male babies born in hospitals have been circumcised > since, I believe, the 1930s or so, in part because it was believed to reduce > masturbation.
>In the United States, most male babies born in hospitals have been >circumcised >since, I believe, the 1930s or so, in part because it was believed to reduce >masturbation. The practice has come into question in recent years, and though >there are valid hygienic arguments to be made in its favor, I'm unconvinced >of >the need for it. Others undoubtedly will disagree.
>whoever
There's a definite trend away from unnecessary circumcision, with those for whom it holds no religious significance. In some places in the U.S., it's about 50-50 now. California comes to mind. I can't remember where I read the stat, but I'll look it up if anyone insists.
> There's a definite trend away from unnecessary circumcision, with those for > whom it holds no religious significance. In some places in the U.S., it's > about 50-50 now. California comes to mind. I can't remember where I read the > stat, but I'll look it up if anyone insists.
Depends on where you live, I think. I didn't have my son circumcized in 1987, and the doctor heartily approved of my choice. One difficulty in the states is that it used to be pretty routine, and some men (and women) are uncomfortable with having a son that is uncircumcized.
>> There's a definite trend away from unnecessary circumcision, with those for >> whom it holds no religious significance. In some places in the U.S., it's >> about 50-50 now. California comes to mind. I can't remember where I read the >> stat, but I'll look it up if anyone insists.
>Depends on where you live, I think. I didn't have my son circumcized in 1987, and >the doctor heartily approved of my choice. One difficulty in the states is that >it used to be pretty routine, and some men (and women) are uncomfortable with >having a son that is uncircumcized.
>Lainie
It is an interesting contrast to Australia. It used to be routine here also, but the tide turned dramatically about 20 years ago. My stepson (26 yrs) was done, but not our five younger sons. It is so rare now that when South Park showed the episode where Ike was to be circumcised, my sons and their friend couldn't quite work out what was going on. I had to explain the process to them. Soon after this my 13 yr old son acquired a South Park t-shirt that reads "Cutting of wee-wees is uncool".
> >> Just an aside: Is it normal to circumcise newborns?
> >Only the guys.
> In the United States, most male babies born in hospitals have been circumcised > since, I believe, the 1930s or so, in part because it was believed to reduce > masturbation. The practice has come into question in recent years, and though > there are valid hygienic arguments to be made in its favor, I'm unconvinced of > the need for it. Others undoubtedly will disagree.
I can't imagine *anyone* deliberately inflicting pain on a newborn, for ANY reason.
Helen
> whoever > ------------------- > It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. > It is by the beans of java that thoughts acquire speed, > The hands develop shaking, > The shaking becomes a warning; > It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
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whoever ------------------- It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands develop shaking, The shaking becomes a warning; It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
In article <3BBF7097.F9629...@clapper.com>, Lainie Petersen
<lpeter...@clapper.com> wrote: >some men (and women) are uncomfortable with >having a son that is uncircumcized.
Sorta like a red house.
whoever ------------------- It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands develop shaking, The shaking becomes a warning; It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
In article <pIKv7.4866$w5.32...@news.indigo.ie>, "helicon" <heli...@eircom.net> wrote:
>I can't imagine *anyone* deliberately inflicting pain on a newborn, for >ANY reason.
"Oh, but they don't *feel* pain the same way we do, you know." -- that was the usual rationalization.
whoever ------------------- It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands develop shaking, The shaking becomes a warning; It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
> >I can't imagine *anyone* deliberately inflicting pain on a newborn, for > >ANY reason.
> "Oh, but they don't *feel* pain the same way we do, you know." -- that was the > usual rationalization.
Oh but they DO. (I know you know that!) I have heard the *shrieks* of agony from babies who were being circumcised without anaesthetic (for religious reasons it had to be done that way)
I thought it was barbaric. The babies were very shocked afterwards. Everyone else was grinning - so proud of themselves, it made me sick.
Helen
> whoever > ------------------- > It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. > It is by the beans of java that thoughts acquire speed, > The hands develop shaking, > The shaking becomes a warning; > It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
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>> >I can't imagine *anyone* deliberately inflicting pain on a newborn, for >> >ANY reason.
>> "Oh, but they don't *feel* pain the same way we do, you know." -- that was >the >> usual rationalization.
>Oh but they DO. (I know you know that!) I have heard the *shrieks* of agony >from babies who were being circumcised without anaesthetic (for religious >reasons it had to be done that way)
>I thought it was barbaric. The babies were very shocked afterwards. Everyone >else was grinning - so proud of themselves, it made me sick.
>Helen
It's a religious ritual, Helen. Not one that I chose to have, but most Jewish people do. It is the first sacrament, which is why they are smiling. I don't think they felt it was barbaric and I am sure they did not want to see their child in pain.
Now, my least favorite religion has a seven year old girl dressed like a bride to receive her first communion. Pretty scary and silly to me, but it is a religious ritual and comes with the territory.
I am sure someone out there will say, "but there is no pain involved that ritual". Other than psychological pain, I agree. My point, some people need to follow religious customs.
> >> >I can't imagine *anyone* deliberately inflicting pain on a newborn, for > >> >ANY reason.
> >> "Oh, but they don't *feel* pain the same way we do, you know." -- that was > >the > >> usual rationalization.
> >Oh but they DO. (I know you know that!) I have heard the *shrieks* of agony > >from babies who were being circumcised without anaesthetic (for religious > >reasons it had to be done that way)
> >I thought it was barbaric. The babies were very shocked afterwards. Everyone > >else was grinning - so proud of themselves, it made me sick.
> >Helen
> It's a religious ritual, Helen.
I know that, and I didn't mean to offend anyone. I feel the same about female circumcision.
Not one that I chose to have, but most Jewish
> people do. It is the first sacrament, which is why they are smiling. I don't > think they felt it was barbaric and I am sure they did not want to see their > child in pain.
But the people of whom I am speaking would not permit any form of pain-killer. I know that others most certainly DO, and don't feel that their son is any less blessed.
> Now, my least favorite religion has a seven year old girl dressed like a bride > to receive her first communion. Pretty scary and silly to me, but it is a > religious ritual and comes with the territory.
Yes - revolting to me too. But then you will always get people who go over the top and it is often those who have least who seem to do it. In many parishes in Ireland such ostentation is banned. There have been attempts to introduce a simple plain white robe, to be worn over ordinary clothes. Some parents object, because they love their 'day out'. I detest the frills and flounces and the ridiculous parasols and gloves.
I remember my own dress as very plain and simple, made by my mother, as was my jacket and veil. She crocheted my socks too! Simplicity was the thing - and to this day that is what I prefer.
> I am sure someone out there will say, "but there is no pain involved that > ritual". Other than psychological pain, I agree.
I don't see much psychological pain in *dressing up* - children love it - however there IS the excruciating agony of Thin Wallet Syndrome!
My point, some people need to
> follow religious customs.
Of course they do, but if the symbolism is bathed in pain, then it is tarnished somewhat in my view.
Helen
> Susan
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>> There's a definite trend away from unnecessary circumcision, with those for >> whom it holds no religious significance. In some places in the U.S., it's >> about 50-50 now. California comes to mind. I can't remember where I read >the >> stat, but I'll look it up if anyone insists.
Lainie:
>Depends on where you live, I think. I didn't have my son circumcized in 1987, >and >the doctor heartily approved of my choice. One difficulty in the states is >that >it used to be pretty routine, and some men (and women) are uncomfortable with >having a son that is uncircumcized.
>Lainie
Yes, I agree. I've also heard people say they chose circumcision so their son would look like the other boys. The vast majority of boys born in California these days are *not* circ'd (I looked it up <g>), so parents who want their boys to look like the others will be choosing not to circumcise.
I've heard that many parents want their boys to look like the father in the family. To me, what it "looks like" shouldn't even be a factor in the decision whether or not to circ. Easy for me to say, since we didn't have a real choice in whether or not either of our sons got the cut. Our older son came to us uncirc'd at 16 months. Our younger son was circ'd at his birthmother's request before she relinquished him. It doesn't bother us that they don't "look alike" and that only one of them looks like his father. I hope it doesn't bother them!
> In article <20011006192249.17247.00001...@nso-ch.aol.com>, > reve...@aol.compromise (fiend) wrote:
> > "Oh, but they don't *feel* pain the same way we do, you know." -- that was the > > usual rationalization.
> Okay!
> I'm really tired of women telling us men how it feels to be circumsized. > We don't talk about your menstral cramps.
> Here's the deal:
> Not a single guy on this newsgroup can tell you that it hurt them one > bit.
Didn't hurt me cuz my folks didn't have it done for some reason, I expect because I sat around the hospital four days before they took me home and my b-mom hadn't okeyed the procedure. I did watch a circumcision while I was in the hosptial nursery with my oldest. Two gum-chewing nurses strapped the little dude to a board, clamped and cut him. The little dude screamed about how you'd expect to scream if two women casually tied you to a table and cut a quarter inch off your dick.
What I find sort of pathetic are guys who have "foreskin restorative surgery" and moan about how much sensation they've missed out on. How would they know?
> I've heard that many parents want their boys to look like the father in the > family. To me, what it "looks like" shouldn't even be a factor in the decision > whether or not to circ.
I've seen that rationale, and it's a strange one. It's not like fathers and sons spend a lot of time comparing privates. I think I saw my dad's dingus once in my life, while we were camping and taking a leak together.
Easy for me to say, since we didn't have a real choice
> in whether or not either of our sons got the cut. Our older son came to us > uncirc'd at 16 months. Our younger son was circ'd at his birthmother's request > before she relinquished him. It doesn't bother us that they don't "look alike" > and that only one of them looks like his father. I hope it doesn't bother > them!
>> I've heard that many parents want their boys to look like the father in >the >> family. To me, what it "looks like" shouldn't even be a factor in the >decision >> whether or not to circ.
>I've seen that rationale, and it's a strange one. It's not like fathers and >sons spend a lot of time comparing privates. I think I saw my dad's dingus >once in my life, while we were camping and taking a leak together.
It doesn't seem to have made any difference to the boys here. We have a generation of fathers who are nearly all circed, and sons who are not. They seem to have survived the shock of looking dissimilar.
It always seemed odd to me that some thought their sons would feel strange not looking like their fathers, but nobody gave a thought to little girls - who all seem to cope with bodies that looking nothing like their mothers.
>Easy for me to say, since we didn't have a real choice >> in whether or not either of our sons got the cut. Our older son came to >us >> uncirc'd at 16 months. Our younger son was circ'd at his birthmother's >request >> before she relinquished him. It doesn't bother us that they don't "look >alike" >> and that only one of them looks like his father. I hope it doesn't bother >> them!
>> >> >I can't imagine *anyone* deliberately inflicting pain on a newborn, >for >> >> >ANY reason.
>> >> "Oh, but they don't *feel* pain the same way we do, you know." -- that >was >> >the >> >> usual rationalization.
>> >Oh but they DO. (I know you know that!) I have heard the *shrieks* of >agony >> >from babies who were being circumcised without anaesthetic (for religious >> >reasons it had to be done that way)
>> >I thought it was barbaric. The babies were very shocked afterwards. >Everyone >> >else was grinning - so proud of themselves, it made me sick.
>> >Helen
>> It's a religious ritual, Helen.
>I know that, and I didn't mean to offend anyone. I feel the same about >female circumcision.
No comparison whatsoever. That is done under the shroud of 'religion' but it is a malicious, sadistic act that causes women pain for life.
>Not one that I chose to have, but most Jewish >> people do. It is the first sacrament, which is why they are smiling. I >don't >> think they felt it was barbaric and I am sure they did not want to see >their >> child in pain.
>But the people of whom I am speaking would not permit any form of >pain-killer. I know that others most certainly DO, and don't feel that their >son is any less blessed.
Typically, they put wine on gauze and feel it is enough to dull the pain. It's not imo, but I am in the minority. I have seen them done, very close up, as godmother, and it ain't pretty with or without anesthetic.
>> Now, my least favorite religion has a seven year old girl dressed like a >bride >> to receive her first communion. Pretty scary and silly to me, but it is a >> religious ritual and comes with the territory.
>Yes - revolting to me too. But then you will always get people who go over >the top and it is often those who have least who seem to do it. In many >parishes in Ireland such ostentation is banned. There have been attempts to >introduce a simple plain white robe, to be worn over ordinary clothes. Some >parents object, because they love their 'day out'. I detest the frills and >flounces and the ridiculous parasols and gloves.
>I remember my own dress as very plain and simple, made by my mother, as was >my jacket and veil. She crocheted my socks too! Simplicity was the thing - >and to this day that is what I prefer.
You have got to see what these girls and boys wear. She's in a veil with flowers, he's in a tux.
>> I am sure someone out there will say, "but there is no pain involved that >> ritual". Other than psychological pain, I agree.
>I don't see much psychological pain in *dressing up* - children love it - >however there IS the excruciating agony of Thin Wallet Syndrome!
> In article <20011006192249.17247.00001...@nso-ch.aol.com>, > reve...@aol.compromise (fiend) wrote:
> > "Oh, but they don't *feel* pain the same way we do, you know." -- that was the > > usual rationalization.
> Okay!
> I'm really tired of women telling us men how it feels to be circumsized. > We don't talk about your menstral cramps.
> Here's the deal:
> Not a single guy on this newsgroup can tell you that it hurt them one > bit.
Ah yes, Don, but it's the LONG TERM effect that is worrying. You know - the rattiness, the difficulty in smiling, in relating to anyone outside the fence (harks back to the bars of the cot/cradle and the perceived threat from people *out there*) So it's not the *memory* per se of the pain of the unkindest cut, but the *possibility* that there are more of *them* out there, who are polishing up their scalpels to have another go. <eg>
Helen
> Case CLOSED!
> - Don
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Don, There is a body of scientific evidence which demonstrates that male infants are traumatized by unmedicated (or under-medicated) circs. Before the research was completed, most medical personnel who were involved in circs held the same position you seem to, ie the kids aren't hurt, and if they are, they don't remember it later.
I'm glad that most medical personnel have been enlightened.
For those about to ask me for a citation, I don't have that information anymore, but if you do a Google search, you can likely find the data, as well as those males who advocate for surgery that is supposed to reverse the circ. (No, I'm not kidding.)
Don wrote: > <snip> > Okay!
> I'm really tired of women telling us men how it feels to be circumsized. > We don't talk about your menstral cramps.
I don't think I've heard anyone talk about "menstral" cramps, but I have listened to many boys/men discuss menstrual cramps, PMS, etc.
> Here's the deal:
> Not a single guy on this newsgroup can tell you that it hurt them one > bit.
