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Alien  
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 More options Apr 9 2011, 9:37 am
Newsgroups: alt.activism.age-restrictions, alt.activism.children, alt.activism.children.cps-issues, alt.activism.children.cps-reform
From: Alien <Al...@AintNoSuchThingAsAliensYouDamnFool.com>
Date: Sat, 9 Apr 2011 15:37:27 +0200 (CEST)
Local: Sat, Apr 9 2011 9:37 am
Subject: Bill Keesing
Bill Keesing's Daily Pronouncement:
"There are three types of people. Those who know how to count, and
those who don't."

-----
NOTES: Bill Keesing, math failure.

NOTES: #1,2,6 on Google: http://www.google.com/search?q=3DBill+Keesing
NOTES: #1,2,3,9 on Google:
http://www.google.com/search?q=3DBill+Keesing+Aukland%2C+NZ
NOTES: #1,5,6 on Google:
http://www.google.com/search?q=3DPorksword+Organthruster
-----

DISCLAIMER: This is a parody post. Any similarity to actual persons,
living or brain-dead, is purely coincidental. Heh. No, this is real.

Porksword Organthruster, that low-life stalking fucknut who has made
it his life's work to harass the half-retarded half-midget Emmett Earl
Gulley, Jr. (and does a half-assed job of it) online is actually Bill
Keesing from Aukland, NZ.

Porksword Organthruster's curriculum vitae:
http://groups.google.com/groups/search?&as_ugroup=3Dalt.usenet.kooks&...
authors=3DPorksword+Organthruster&safe=3Doff

Bill Keesing
Flat 16, 5 Edgars Road, Grey Lynn\Westmere (Cox's Bay), Auckland, NZ
1002
+64 9 376 0106
zz9pluralzal...@orcon.net.nz

Here's the proof.

First, we'll look at Bill Keesing's post to usenet as Porksword
Organthruster, in which he outed himself. This is a long post,
included here for archival purposes only. If you wish, you can skip to
the next quadruple-dotted-line delineation, where the salient points
in the post below are laid out.
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.usenet.kooks/msg/0646a49cb01010c4?...
e=3Dsource
Message-ID: <1646859.huUyflWWV1@FishhookU>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------

=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D

>>>>>> >> Emmett Gulley
>>>>>> >> One of the applicants at CEC just told me that cooks are being
>>>>>> >> started out at min. Wage. What a damn joke!

>>>>>> >> Wednesday at 2:33pm via Text Message

>>>>>> >> =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=

=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D

=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D

>>>>>> >> Emmett Gulley
>>>>>> >> That chuck e. Cheese is set for an EPIC FAIL! As of about an ho=
ur
>>>>>> >> ago, 35 apps so far. I didn't even waste my time.

>>>>>> >> Wednesday at 2:24pm via Text Message

>>>>>> >> =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=

=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, the above is a bit hard to read and follow, so let's dig out the
salient points. This, you should read carefully, and laugh about
heartily.
(Note that I've removed the 'at' (@) sign from email addresses, so
they are fully readable in Google Groups.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, in the above snippet of the above whole post, we see Alison Kerr
(Bill Keesing's landlord) admonishing him for having a smelly
apartment that's stacked full of boxes, and is setting up a date and
time for an inspection to be sure Bill Keesing obeys the landlord's
cleanliness rules.

Now, Bill Keesing has changed the WHOIS of his domain since outing
himself (help.geek.nz, taken from the email address in the post from
Porksword Organthruster (AKA Bill Keesing) above):
http://whois.domaintools.com/help.geek.nz
domain_datelastmodified: 2011-03-29 T16:24:12+13:00 <<=3D=3D=3D NOTE DATE
registrant_contact_name: Bill Keesing
registrant_contact_address1: 28 The Warehouse Way
registrant_contact_address2: Northcote
registrant_contact_city: Auckland
registrant_contact_country: NZ (NEW ZEALAND)
registrant_contact_phone: +64 9 999-9999
registrant_contact_email: a...@orcon.net.nz
The above address is Orcon broadband and telephone.

But PRIOR to 29 Mar 2011 (the day after he accidentally posted the
information above to usenet, outing himself as a stalking, harassing,
defaming, libeling scumbag kook who likes to pick on retarded midgets
online), the WHOIS for Bill Keesing's domain read as follows:
registrant_contact_name: Bill Keesing
registrant_contact_address1: Flat 16-5 Edgars Road
registrant_contact_address2: Grey Lynn
registrant_contact_city: Auckland
registrant_contact_country: NZ 1002
registrant_contact_phone: +64 9 376 0106
registrant_contact_email: zz9pluralzal...@orcon.net.nz

Now, you may be saying, "Well, that doesn't prove anything at all! You
could just be making all of this up."

Well, you COULD call the telephone number (+64 9 376 0106) to hear
Bill Keesing sobbing about stupidly outing himself on usenet as a
stalking, harassing, defaming, libeling scumbag kook who likes to pick
on retarded midgets online. :-)

But, there are other ways to ascertain that the above is true.

Bill Keesing has posted a photo online here:
http://www.metvuw.com/index-content.php?date=3D20090721
http://www.metvuw.com/photoofweek/photo-20090721-03.jpg

Here's a quote on that web page from Bill Keesing (AKA Porksword
Organthruster):
Bill Keesing
"'Sunlight shining through the fog over Cox's Creek in Cox's Bay,
Auckland. The picture was taken by a Canon Powershot A410 on the
automatic setting. The picture was taken looking towards the
northwest. It was a nice, crisp walk to catch the bus into work that
morning' wrote Bill. The photograph was taken at 08:26 on 3 June
2009."

Now, to find exactly where this photo was taken, we have to start from
where Bill Keesing (AKA Porksword Organthruster) lives:
Here's the Google Street View of his low-rent stink-factory apartment
on Edgars Road:
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=3D5+Edgars+Road,+Grey+Lynn,+Auckland,+N...
02&sll=3D-36.854309,174.72672&sspn=3D0.000906,0.001714&hnear=3D5+Edgars+R=
d,+Auckland+1022,+Auckland,+New+Zealand&layer=3Dc&cbll=3D-36.854409,174.7=
26653&panoid=3DsBrQtzc2Zi9iHTfDv8FNyw&cbp=3D12,106.23,,0,5.49&ie=3DUTF8&h=
q=3D&ll=3D-36.854308,174.726721&spn=3D0,0.001714&z=3D19&iwloc=3DA

Note the row of letterboxes just 'round the bend on Edgars Road, and
the low doorway just past them that leads into the electrics room.
Behind the electrics room is where Bill Keesing (AKA Porksword
Organthruster) is storing the boxes that were cluttering his apartment
and making it stink so badly.

The apartment address, the letterboxes, the doorway to the electrics
room, the stinky apartment, and the boxes cluttering Bill Keesing's
apartment are all mentioned in the emails from Alison Kerr to Bill
Keesing, posted to usenet by Porksword Organthruster (AKA Bill
Keesing).

Now, from the metvuw.com link above, where Bill Keesing submitted a
photo, we know that Bill Keesing takes the bus to work, and that he
walks to the bus stop. Looking at Google Maps shows that there is only
one way out of that end of Edgars Road. So, let's follow along Edgars
Road and see if any of the Google Street View photos match the photo
that Bill Keesing (AKA Porksword Organthruster) submitted to
metvuw.com.

We find that if we go down Edgars Road about one block to the
intersection of Edgars Road and Kingsley Street, and continue straight
on Edgars Road to the next 'hop' on Google Street View past that
intersection, we see the same photo in Google Street View as Bill
Keesing (aka Porksword Organthruster) submitted to metvuw.com. Note
that, just like Bill Keesing said of his photo, Google Street View is
looking in a northwesterly direction.

One block from his apartment is where Bill Keesing took that photo he
submitted to metvuw.com.

So, what do we have here:
1} We have a conversation between Alison Kerr (landlord) and Bill
Keesing (tenant) about his smelly, cluttered apartment, posted to
usenet accidentally by Porksword Organthruster. If Porksword
OrganThruster is not Bill Keesing, how did he come into possession of
that personal email exchange?

2} Immediately after discovering that he'd accidentally posted this
embarrassing and identifying information, Porksword Organthruster
disappeared from usenet, whereas before he would post every day to
harass the half-retarded, half-midget Emmett Earl Gulley, Jr. of
Melbourne, FL, US. If Porksword Organthruster were NOT Bill Keesing,
why would he care if Bill Keesing's address were revealed, and run
from usenet as he did?

3} The address in the old help.geek.nz domain registration information
by Bill Keesing, and in the emails from Alison Kerr to Bill Keesing
(and accidentally posted by Porksword Organthruster) match exactly, as
does the description of the property in question.

4} We have a photo submitted by Bill Keesing to metvuw.com, that is
only one block from the address specified in the old registration
information by Bill Keesing (and in the emails from Alison Kerr to
Bill Keesing, accidentally posted by Porksword Organthruster).

5} Bill Keesing suddenly changed the information in his domain
registration to inaccurate information, in an attempt to hide his true
whereabouts, after he'd found that he'd outed himself on usenet as a
stalking, harassing, defaming, libeling scumbag kook.

6} Bill Keesing discontinued his http://users.iconz.co.nz/keesing
site, when he'd been using it in the signatures of some of his website
forum posts as far back as May 29, 1998 and as recently as January 01,
2011. That matters little, as the Wayback Machine has archived it.

Here's the link to his site ('user.iconz.co.nz/keesing' redirects to
'www3.iconz.co.nz/bill'):
http://replay.waybackmachine.org/19970301092752/http://www3.iconz.co....
ill/

And here's Bill Keesing's photos. Note that he LOOKS like a stinky,
hoarding stalker (and that photo is 13 years old... his looks have
probably not improved with age):
http://replay.waybackmachine.org/19970703074321/http://www3.iconz.co....
ill/images/bill.jpg
http://replay.waybackmachine.org/19970703074321/http://www3.iconz.co....
ill/images/bill.gif

This can lead us to only one incontrovertible conclusion:
Bill Keesing of Aukland, NZ, that stinky hoarder, is Porksword
Organthruster, that stupid, stalking, harassing, defaming, libeling
scumbag kook who likes to pick on retarded midgets online.

Now that Bill Keesing (AKA Porksword Organthruster) has stupidly outed
himself, he probably thinks that the majority of the damage is done.
Not so, by quite a long shot.

1} The domain registration information for Bill Keesing's domain
(help.geek.nz) is inaccurate, meaning that should someone report that
domain for inaccurate WHOIS information, the host would most likely
terminate that domain, or force Bill Keesing to re-enter the old,
accurate information.

2} His employer will most likely find out about Bill Keesing's
proclivity for stalking, harassing, defaming, libeling and picking on
retarded midgets online, as well as his poor hygiene and obsessive
hoarding. The consequences of this are unforetold.

3} His landlord will most likely find out about Bill Keesing's
extra-curricular activities which so consume him that he neglects his
apartment, allowing it to become a cluttered stinkhole.

4} His family will most likely find out that Bill Keesing is an
embarrassment to the family. Forever after they find out, he'll always
wonder if they're still saying behind his back, "I wonder if he's
still a creepy online stalker?", as they quietly tell their children
to avoid him.

Relax, Bill.
It's all in good fun, right?
It's just words, right?
Words can't hurt you, right?

Right, Bill?

  (.) (_)
     U
<evil grin>

--=20
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