Alan, Kc, etc . . .
Liz
:( I think they mostly amounted to " we're doing better, off having
real lives, glad to hear things are going good" except I think one
person is having some health trouble.
Alan, I'm always glad to see you here. You provide a continuity I
find reassuring and soothing. I enjoy your wit and brains and that I
am one of the few who get you.
Kaitlyn - did you say you are expecting or just had another
grandchild? If so, congrats :)
Kc - e mail me.
Wolf . . .
I once monsterfied you, but you aren't a monster. You're just a guy
with a lot of serious issues and while that is true of many of us,
there aren't a lot of people here who actually put thought behind the
idea of killing me.
The part of me that wants to let things go between us is not a healthy
part of me. I wish you no harm and I genuinely wish you peace (and a
break from grief) but it seems healthier to me to remember what
happened and keep you at arms length.
Similarly, it's impossible to think of this place and the way it
helped me without thinking about Sherrie. On the one hand, I owe her
a lot. I would never have grown the way I did if I had not had her to
bounce off of the way I did. I didn't realize it at the time, but
Sherrie offered, in her way, to allow me to assign to her a series of
roles and however happily she embraced them, I don't think I would
ever have been able to heal without the parts she played.
The part of me that finally is 'above it all' wants to wish her well
and even forgive her. That same part though is the healthiest part
and I would be a fool to embrace Sherrie or forgive her. Of everyone
I met that came through here, she alone tried to hurt my family.
*Really* hurt my family. I'd be a loon to forget or forgive that and,
not living with her, I don't need to.
I think about it a lot. You can't be crazy and come out the other
side without forever taking your internal sanity measure and when I
do, I think of this place and why I got better and how to stay better.
I check my temperature a lot and I always end up thinking more of the
people I used to teach me how to handle my anger and fears than the
people who were so genuinely sweet and kind.
Barring a bi-polar mania, I don't expect ever to be the person I was
when I got here again. I know I was furious and had no aim, but I
can't really reach back and touch that anger anymore. I know it was
there. Maybe it's just in a more proper place, now. Maybe I am. I
don't know. In any case, while I would thank Sherrie for her
willingness to allow me to use our relationship the way I did, I don't
forgive and won't forget.
There are others with whom I once fought arguments that seemed so
critically important at the time and who now have been relegated to
bit players in my melodrama. With one exception, I'm not naming
names.
Jeannie - I adore you. For what that is worth to you. I'll always
have your back if you need someone I would be very happy if one day we
could meet and have a coffee.
The fuzzy little ones I could not abhor because your gentleness seemed
weak and weak made me afraid for myself, I'm sorry I gave you such a
hard time.
The people I like so much - Buff, azure, Laurels, etc., thank you.
For giving me a second look and in so doing, giving me the chance to
give myself one.
Alan B. Mac Farlane
garba...@socal.rr.com wrote on 1/9/08 11:03 PM:
> Alan, I'm always glad to see you here. You provide a continuity I
> find reassuring and soothing. I enjoy your wit and brains and that I
> am one of the few who get you.
well Liz ... you are a smart Scorpio.
You get power by learning how to move your water, Pisces are good teachers
for you.
Me, I get my power by learning how to stablize my water, Scorpio are good
teachers for me.
Still waiting for you to kill off you husband you know since no one else
wants me yet. No one wants to pimp me out either. It is rough doing
recovery I tell ya.
Suppose I will get stronger now ...
:(
%
ya ya ya
Alan B. Mac Farlane
per...@gmail.com wrote on 1/10/08 3:54 PM:
as soon as I tell ya ... there ya go.
%
there ya have ya
Alan B. Mac Farlane
per...@gmail.com wrote on 1/11/08 10:28 AM:
glad ya around
%
ya ta
Baba Yaga
>The people I like so much - Buff, azure, Laurels, etc., thank you.
>For giving me a second look and in so doing, giving me the chance to
>give myself one.
Seconded!
This place saved me. You people saved me. No matter how grim it
sometimes got, that remains true.
Baba Yaga
--
People say "use it or lose it", but that doesn't mean anything unless
you define 'use' and 'it'.
- Torkel Klingberg
Liz
You're so good for my ego. I asked my husband if he'd mind taking one
for the team and he offered to send you a teddy bear instead. But if
he goes naturally . . .well, by then, I'll come out and have dinner
with you, your lovely wife and your marvelous kids.
Liz
<spam...@phonecoop.coop> wrote:
>Liz <garba...@socal.rr.com> wrote, in alt.abuse.recovery:
>
>>The people I like so much - Buff, azure, Laurels, etc.,
This is where I meant to include you and didn't. Hope you know that.
> thank you.
>>For giving me a second look and in so doing, giving me the chance to
>>give myself one.
>
>Seconded!
>
>This place saved me. You people saved me. No matter how grim it
>sometimes got, that remains true.
Absolutely. Which is not to say it doesn't still get crazy. Just, for
me, a different kind.
>
>Baba Yaga
Baba Yaga
>On Fri, 11 Jan 2008 21:39:07 +0000, Baba Yaga
><spam...@phonecoop.coop> wrote:
>
>>Liz <garba...@socal.rr.com> wrote, in alt.abuse.recovery:
>>
>>>The people I like so much - Buff, azure, Laurels, etc.,
>
>This is where I meant to include you and didn't. Hope you know that.
Yes, thanks.
You & I were good for each other.
Acually, I was lucky - a lot more was good for me here than bad.
>> thank you.
>>>For giving me a second look and in so doing, giving me the chance to
>>>give myself one.
>>
>>Seconded!
>>
>>This place saved me. You people saved me. No matter how grim it
>>sometimes got, that remains true.
>
>Absolutely. Which is not to say it doesn't still get crazy. Just, for
>me, a different kind.
Yes.
Something closer to normal craziness, I think.
Alan B. Mac Farlane
garba...@socal.rr.com wrote on 1/11/08 8:30 PM:
> You're so good for my ego. I asked my husband if he'd mind taking one
> for the team and he offered to send you a teddy bear instead. But if
> he goes naturally . . .well, by then, I'll come out and have dinner
> with you, your lovely wife and your marvelous kids.
okey doaky ... it's a date
:)
Shelayla
I am so glad to have the oppurtunity to appologize for my stupid
behavior in the past. I was very immature and had a lot of growing up to
do, let alone getting my head out of my ass and "dealing" with the abuse
(whatever that means). I've grown a lot in the last 7 to 10 years. I was
a very angry person back then and a bit wild emotionally. It's not an
excuse, it's just me looking back and seeing it for what it was. I take
responsibility for how I acted.
This kind of feels like a family reunion around here, only it's not one
that I want to run screaming from. I wish you the best truely, and hope
we can start over. I don't expect you to forgive and forget, but
perhaps... consider getting to know me as I am now. If you remember me
that is, ha ha.
-Shelayla
Liz <garba...@socal.rr.com> wrote in
news:s4ebo39uust13t3rs...@4ax.com:
Shelayla
where I grew up. It was a safe place, even if I didn't realize it
sometimes.
Baba Yaga <spam...@phonecoop.coop> wrote in
news:ifofo3960igpoc857...@4ax.com:
kcinkali
start posting again =) Think there's something to that? heh.
I realize I'm about 6 months behind at this point... but I just wanted to
say "hi" Shelayla, Liz, Baba, Alan, Azure, Catherine and many others that
I'm sure I'm leaving out.
Life has been good for me. My hubs and I broke up 18 months ago (he left
me, said he didn't love me anymore... emailed it to me), divorce *should be
final in Sept. Met a new guy - been together 15 months now. Lost 200
lbs. - diet & exercise... NO surgery for me. Well, I take that back - had
an ovarian cancer scare, oncologist performed a hysterectomy - no cancer,
just cysts, endo, etc. the whole nine yards. A month later my son and
daughter in law had twin girls... in Peru!! They are up here now with all 3
kids, living with my boyfriend and me. It's a full, loud, fun house!! SOOO
incredibly different from what I grew up in.
It is such an amazing adventure watching babies grow, yet not having the
anxiety that a parent has. And watching the world through my 7 year old
grand daughter's eyes as she discovers the United States and learns to speak
English. The immersion programs are amazing!!
Hopefully some of you guys are still reading once in a while and will say
hello!
Take care everyone,
Casey
"Shelayla" <bluhe...@nospamjuno.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9A26EA0DC7717...@209.210.176.62...
Alan B. Mac Farlane
k...@hollywood.com wrote on 7/4/08 10:21 AM:
> I realize I'm about 6 months behind at this point... but I just wanted to
> say "hi" Shelayla, Liz, Baba, Alan, Azure, Catherine and many others that
> I'm sure I'm leaving out.
Hey Casey ... big changes with hubby and new guy and new life.
Now you get a chance to see what happens to people when their toddler
tantrum is handle correctly ... when it is not they turn out like hubby
turned out.
Bubble Boy is stuck in his toddler tantrum as well ... so there is another
example of a lack of recovery if you wanted one.
Great good news, keep it up darling.
sumbuddie wear blind sea
:)
kcinkali
but I've enjoyed the view!!
I'm just crossing my fingers that enough Republicans have faded away that we
won't have Bubble Boys' third term.
Casey
"Alan B. Mac Farlane" <al...@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:C49671EA.530F7%al...@sonic.net...
Alan B. Mac Farlane
k...@hollywood.com wrote on 7/6/08 2:55 PM:
> I've always enjoyed the way you see things Alan =) I haven't always agreed,
> but I've enjoyed the view!!
>
> I'm just crossing my fingers that enough Republicans have faded away that we
> won't have Bubble Boys' third term.
>
> Casey
You will get it after awhile Casey.
The learning curve picks up after awhile.
It comes from the toddler tantrum not being handled correctly in childhood,
and you get immature people who have secrets, lies, misrepresentations,
mischaracterizations, prevarication, and obfuscations just like Bubble Boy
and the GOPerps or the Dummy Dems are the same Grim Pills helping them all
the way.
President Oprah McCain is Bush in Black ...
If President Oprah McCain was talking and he says something like this on tee
vee I hear ....
"I declare that the search for the favorite son is BROKEN, and I have steped
forward in COURAGE to leave the favorite son search program and do it my
way, killing who ever gets in the way ... as I am a rich nigger now with the
white mans disease of Grim Pills in the Bible."
This comes from way back in history ...
The Defense Structure makes Oprah McCain chose the words he does, as he
mostly lives in fear.
If he lived in love, then he would not be talking that way.
He would use a different languaging ...one with out judgement, expectations,
justification, invalidation, and magical thinking.
Some one living in fear, and stuck in their toddler tantrum, is someone no
different and would talk like Mark of Cain in dealing with his Bro Able.
Where Cain said ... "If I just kill you, then I will be the fairest one of
all and God will have to love me".
I hope you can see the judgement, expectation, justification, invalidation
and magical thinking in that easier example, and the more educated and
complicated justification for Oprah McCain in being a hypocrit and foxing
around, foxing this up, and foxing his word.
Same as Bubble Boy and his Grim Pills on the other side of the asile.
All hail the Grim Pills of the Bible ...
kcinkali
watching "alternative t.v." or as you say... "tee-vee".
Casey
"Alan B. Mac Farlane" <al...@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:C496DA12.53124%al...@sonic.net...
Alan B. Mac Farlane
in article Pb-dnWgxt51SB-_V...@supernews.com, kcinkali at
k...@hollywood.com wrote on 7/7/08 3:39 PM:
curren...@gmail.com
much.
I'm so glad things are going well for you. I really am. You deserve
it.
Liz
On Jul 4, 10:21 am, "kcinkali" <k...@hollywood.com> wrote:
> Wow, I stopped reading ng's for several months and all these great people
> start posting again =) Think there's something to that? heh.
>
> I realize I'm about 6 months behind at this point... but I just wanted to
> say "hi" Shelayla, Liz, Baba, Alan, Azure, Catherine and many others that
> I'm sure I'm leaving out.
>
> Life has been good for me. My hubs and I broke up 18 months ago (he left
> me, said he didn't love me anymore... emailed it to me), divorce *should be
> final in Sept. Met a new guy - been together 15 months now. Lost 200
> lbs. - diet & exercise... NO surgery for me. Well, I take that back - had
> an ovarian cancer scare, oncologist performed a hysterectomy - no cancer,
> just cysts, endo, etc. the whole nine yards. A month later my son and
> daughter in law had twin girls... in Peru!! They are up here now with all 3
> kids, living with my boyfriend and me. It's a full, loud, fun house!! SOOO
> incredibly different from what I grew up in.
>
> It is such an amazing adventure watching babies grow, yet not having the
> anxiety that a parent has. And watching the world through my 7 year old
> grand daughter's eyes as she discovers the United States and learns to speak
> English. The immersion programs are amazing!!
>
> Hopefully some of you guys are still reading once in a while and will say
> hello!
>
> Take care everyone,
> Casey
>
> "Shelayla" <bluheve...@nospamjuno.com> wrote in message
>
> news:Xns9A26EA0DC7717...@209.210.176.62...
>
> > Liz,
>
> > I am so glad to have the oppurtunity to appologize for my stupid
> > behavior in the past. I was very immature and had a lot of growing up to
> > do, let alone getting my head out of my ass and "dealing" with the abuse
> > (whatever that means). I've grown a lot in the last 7 to 10 years. I was
> > a very angry person back then and a bit wild emotionally. It's not an
> > excuse, it's just me looking back and seeing it for what it was. I take
> > responsibility for how I acted.
>
> > This kind of feels like a family reunion around here, only it's not one
> > that I want to run screaming from. I wish you the best truely, and hope
> > we can start over. I don't expect you to forgive and forget, but
> > perhaps... consider getting to know me as I am now. If you remember me
> > that is, ha ha.
>
> > -Shelayla
>
> > Liz <garbagea...@socal.rr.com> wrote in
%
kcinkali
Yup, I just hit the -200 mark a couple of months ago. Today I went with my
mom to the dr (routine stuff) and a woman "my age" (51) was there, at about
the same weight I used to be - and in so much pain... just walking, etc. It
reinforced to me that for *me, I did the right thing by working out a good
diet routine with regular walking and swimming at the Y. I have no
prejudice for anyone of any size. I just know how *I feel.
I read in a lot of places that after a hyterectomy a lot of women gain
weight or find it impossible to lose weight. I've lost 50 lbs. since mine.
But the stuff I had in me was sooo toxic, all that fibrous stuff, ick. And
it really affected me emotionally and mentally, imo. Once they got "it" out
I felt free.
A friend of mine says that I actually lost 600 lbs., and that the first 400
were the hardest (my ex).
Thank you for the good wishes, thoughts. It STILL freaks me out to go to a
store and look at size 8 stuff, when I was used to 6x and size 28 or 30 at
Lane Bryant. I remember one day looking at myself in a full length mirror
and thinking, who IS that?? I still do that. I think it's going to take a
while to adjust to. I'll see a narrow place I need to walk thru - like
between 2 cars - and think "I can't fit thru there".. then I remember, "oh
yeah, I can."
Anyway, thanks! And you owe me e-mail girl.
Casey
<curren...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:d2504890-4af7-4d1c...@j22g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
kcinkali
"%" <per...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:R1Uck.3143$7%6.2456@edtnps82...
Alan B. Mac Farlane
in article R1Uck.3143$7%6.2456@edtnps82, % at per...@gmail.com wrote on
7/8/08 5:57 PM: