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Spending Christmas with abusers

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BabyFreed

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Dec 6, 2003, 12:43:11 PM12/6/03
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I hope someone can help me. I hope I'm not the only one who has to do something like this. I don't want to go and I'm sure someone understands this fear. My family still tries to demands that I am the skeleton in the closet and they are presently trying to control an uncontrollable individual only since Nov. 15, 2002. They forced me to sign for them to be guardians over me but since June 2004 I took them to court and proved I'm not the names they call me in public. I've worked through the anger and retailation into loving myself and them too, but I have to keep my distance or they start again. They are demanding I come because it is for the family. I have made a "family" out of nonrelatives that allow me to be me and that where I want to be, yet I can't take anymore abuse from them. What do I do? If I go how do I escape if it gets too much?

Sugar Girl

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Dec 14, 2003, 8:11:41 PM12/14/03
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All you can do is be the person you know you are. What they have said
is not true, and you are doing them a favour by going along with it
all. But WE know, we have to. The truth is so harsh that the
majority of people won't deal with it. People like you and I live
with it every day but they don't even know. We love them , so we
protect them. We protect them in a way we wish we were protected
ourselves.

You DON'T have to do anything for them. But if you choose to, be
certain that it makes YOU the stronger person. Speaking from my
experience, if you can find a way of saying NO to social gatherings or
any situation you are uncomfortable with, then do. I know it takes
courage, I'm still only just learning myself. My family don't really
know what happened to me. But they know that something must have
happened to make me the way I am. So they quietly accept me choosing
to do my own thing.

You can do it. And by doing so, you will find the personal freedom
you need to recover, and make your own decisions.

You decide who you are, and what you do. Nobody else should assume
that right.

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