The Revelation of da duck
Robert Paschelke
: "There's no bussiness like no bussiness...." Ups! You are all here already?
[Much good ol' show clipped out...not your feathers, duck!]
: - That's all folks! The show is over, thanks for taking your time to look
: me up, on this (to me at least) very special occasion.
: See y'all at the old junction.
: The (Nemesis Bunny (Don't you ever forget this)) Duck
<clap, clap, clap> Bravo, bravo fortissimo!! <clap, clap, clap>
Ooooo. Got to watch that. Not used to this clapping business, the claws
are hard on the pads.
Well, what did you think, Anu? Nice little bits of irony, eh? Remained
well in character, nice little references (humorous) outside the immediate
frame. Lively use of language. What do you say, two claws up?
--
-- The Original Dancing Bear
Alan D Corre
Felicitations to the Duck on this astonishing virtuoso performance,
especially as his native quack is not English.
I nominate this for inclusion in "The Best of alt.1d" -- if anyone ever
creates such an animal.
A human thumbs up, doubtless joined by an assortment of claws, talons,
ungues, tentacles and chelae.
--
Alan D. Corre
Emeritus Professor of Hebrew Studies
University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee
S|ren Erichsen
The light starts to dim, in the one-ring circus tent, which the Duck has
rented for his revelation show. The mumbling, chewing and handing over
cellophane-bags sounds starts to cease.
A ghettoblaster seated in the corner, starts to emit the wellknown sub-
contra-C (or at least the upper harmonics off it) from 'Also Sprach
Zaratustra'.
<Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc>
When it is totally dark in the more than half-empty tent, and the hornsection
starts too raise volume, a spotlight turns on, and in the clear light stands
The Duck
Clutching a ducksized microphone in his hand, removing a revolting amount
of sweat from his forehead with a silkhandkerchief which he bought from
a Liberace-sale, while he kneels to the floor, and shuts off the noisemaker.
- Hello Onedeers! Fellow fowls and fouls (Hi Allan, this one was intended).
I'm so glad, that a few of you showed up at this event.
I'll try not to keep you in suspense for much longer.
- It's is time for da revelation, I'll repeat the central questions for
you, in case you have forgotten them.
- What is this 'NB' bussiness in NbDucks userid?
- Why is he always asking about were-ness?
- Is this guy as vulnerable as he claims?
- Why did he settle down in this area?
- Will altwundee ever be the same again?
- To save time, I'll answer the first three questions, all in one go.
- My curiosity about were-ness, is due to my own condition... I'm a were-
person myself. In fact I'm a were-rabbit, which has the form of a real life
duck, when in my most controlable form.
The rabbit side of me, is not of the real life specie, but is a toon kind
of character, indestructable by any means known to man (or woman, I'm not
the sexist type).
The switchover is not related to the moon in any way, but acts as a sort
of defense mechanism. Turning me into this giant rabbit whenever I get
attacked in my duckshape, to which I return when the danger is over.
Since I have observed you all to be much too nice to comit a serious
attack on my humble person, I have arranged a testenvironment, to show
off the rabbit side of me.
(<Plonk> Another spot suddenly lights up a grand piano, brought to the
manege by eager crewmembers, in the privacy of the darkness)
- To demonstrate this were-ness, I'll hit myself in the head with this
easily applied instrument. But you'll have to watch very closely, since
the switchover goes into reverse, when the danger starts to cease.
(Duck lifts the piano from the floor, with his left wing)
- 1........2........3......<WHAAAAACK!>
Did you see the rabbit? Else you might try to read the letter again.
Don't use a crosseyed approach, I'm a bird not a sird.
- So as some of you (I hope y'all) have seen now, I'm not as vulnerable
as I seemed to be, I just tried to lure somebody into an attack, so I
could achieve my fur-clad clamant claptrapping climax. But none of
jugize fell for my bait (Not even goldenwolf).
Allan tried to threat me at one instance, but Scarlet made a comeback,
before I even realized this attack.
- Ups! I forgot to explain the name bussiness (Bends over to push the
tapeswitch of the gettoblaster).
<Ta-Daaaaaaaaa> (Excerption from tada.wav)
(Keen helpers kindly shuts the damned blaster off again)
- NB in my userid, is meant to mean "Nemesis Bunny", and is a reminder to
everyone, that I truly am a 'were' type of guy. Please stay tuned.
(Short Intermission - Get an icecream - or change identity now)
(No sponsors has shown interest in this space (doesn't anybody like me?))
- Welcome back to the remnant of the show. I hope you feel relaxed again,
now that I'm back in my pipsqueak identity.
We still have to address the last couple of questions.
I got to this wonderfull place, as a consequence of unending unfaltering
application of the 'return'-key. After having selected my newsserver, for
the first time, and to be honest, I do not think that this deed in any
way has changed the areas state of being.
(A tuxedo wearing midget enters the stage, and involves himself in a short
piece of modern piano music, composed solely for a whacked up piano.)
Robert Paschelke
: Felicitations to the Duck on this astonishing virtuoso performance,
I most heartily concur with your most considered o'pinion (and o'claw, o'hand,
o'<whichever winged, manual, pedal extremity>).
I humbly submit that the name of this collection be "Best of Olde Wundee,
oh WOW!", abbreviating nicely to "BOW, WOW!".
Howard A Carson
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And now ... we return you to this evening's show.
S|ren Erichsen
I feel newborn after this very personal confession about my genetic reshaping
capabillities.
I have now a clear understanding of the problems closet-fags are up against.
It must be devestating to your health, not being able to control the lust
for a cigarette when in a confined space environment, like these gents
prefer to be.
Luckily I'm now out of this mental-closet, ready for my usual hybrid
"hybris"-Duck activities.
The (All curcuits ready. Beam me down snotty) Duck
Robert Paschelke
--
Duck--can we talk? I have a hot property for you: "Desperately seeking
Ducky." You think Olde Wundee is rough, but it's a jungle out there.
Never fear. When we take lunch with those agents, we'll be going in with
an edge--the edge of my flensing knife. Stay with me, duck, you're a
star. The public eats up this confessional stuff.
Have your people talk to my people, we'll take lunch real soon now. Great
idea, we can punch it up into a concept with commercial legs! Hollywood
ain't seen nothin' yet!!
S|ren Erichsen
: Duck--can we talk?
Sure! We can talk.. I dunno how it's possible. Considering our very
different type of species, but we can talk.
: I have a hot property for you: "Desperately seeking Ducky."
WHAT!.... Are you putting forward a proposal.... Bodil would not like this.
: You think Olde Wundee is rough, but it's a jungle out there.
That's the truuuuuuth! Flametrowers and spelling-addicts, not knowing how to
behave in an international environment, are flooding all over.
: Never fear. When we take lunch with those agents, we'll be going in with
: an edge--the edge of my flensing knife. Stay with me, duck, you're a
: star. The public eats up this confessional stuff.
I dunno! Agent's seem to be a more than I'll be able to chew.
: Have your people talk to my people, we'll take lunch real soon now. Great
: idea, we can punch it up into a concept with commercial legs! Hollywood
: ain't seen nothin' yet!!
But o'boy! Have we seen Hollywood!
Hmmm! Maybe you are on to something. Would 20/80 be a profit split you
could accept?
The (I'm a greedy little) Duck
S|ren Erichsen
: Robert Paschelke (bpas...@cie-2.uoregon.edu) wrote:
: : --
: I think we should include it in the "Best of Old Wundee's Excellent Lectures"
: Albert
: Ursus Saltatorius
"Best of Old Wundee's Excellent Lectures" is abreviated BOWEL!!!!!
I'm not sure if I like this guy.
I tried to move somebody, but I didn't mean to make your bowels move!
The (I'm no laxative) Duck
Albert Blair
: --
I think we should include it in the "Best of Old Wundee's Excellent Lectures"
Albert
Ursus Saltatorius
La Vie dansante
In the words of Chief inspector Dryfuss "Madness does not preclude
Achievement"
The Scarlet Manuka
wrote:
> Robert Paschelke (bpas...@cie-2.uoregon.edu) wrote:
> : Alan D Corre (co...@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu) wrote:
> : : Felicitations to the Duck on this astonishing virtuoso performance,
> : : especially as his native quack is not English.
> : : I nominate this for inclusion in "The Best of alt.1d" -- if anyone ever
> : : creates such an animal.
> : : A human thumbs up, doubtless joined by an assortment of claws, talons,
> : : ungues, tentacles and chelae.
You forgot the branches! *sniff*
> : I most heartily concur with your most considered o'pinion (and o'claw, o'hand,
> : o'<whichever winged, manual, pedal extremity>).
You too! *sob*
> : I humbly submit that the name of this collection be "Best of Olde Wundee,
> : oh WOW!", abbreviating nicely to "BOW, WOW!".
> : -- The Original Dancing Bear
> I think we should include it in the "Best of Old Wundee's Excellent Lectures"
> Albert
> Ursus Saltatorius
It has possibilities...
The Scarlet Manuka,
Befriender of Dragons.
______________________________________________________________________
The Scarlet Manuka, | The Bible on law:
Befriender of Dragons, is: |"The first to present his case seems
|right, till another comes forward and
sa...@madvax.maths.uwa.edu.au |questions him." - Proverbs 18:17
______________________________I_______________________________________
*All opinions in this article are fictional. Any resemblance to real
opinions, whether living or dead, is purely coincidental.*
Albert Blair
: : : --
: : Albert
: : Ursus Saltatorius
Does a Bear sh*t in the woods?
Does a Blair sh*t in the woods?