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JONNY R CAFFEY

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Mar 4, 2002, 12:15:28 PM3/4/02
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I'M JONNY AN OLD BIKER WITH AN EVIL PAST. NOW I WANT OUT.
I'V TRIED 4 ATEMPTS IN THE LAST 6 MO. ALL OVERDOSES. THE LAST
ATEMPT WAS RIGHT 840mg OF HYDROMORPHENE, BUT MY SISTER
FOUND ME AND CALLED 911 AND THEY SHOT ME WITH NARCAN
AND STRAPED ME TO A BED FOR 3 DAYS THEN PUT ME IN "FINGER PAINTING
WARD" FOR 2 WEEKS IT CAN'T BE THIS HARD ?????
TALK TO ME !!


CindyB

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Mar 4, 2002, 1:26:12 PM3/4/02
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"JONNY R CAFFEY" <BIKE...@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:QYNg8.21155$e22.309...@newssvr15.news.prodigy.com...
Did you ever think that maybe it just isn't your time to die? You can't undo
your past, but you can make a difference in your future, or maybe even
somebody else's future.


He Who Changes

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Mar 4, 2002, 2:45:49 PM3/4/02
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JONNY R CAFFEY <BIKE...@prodigy.net> says...

>
> I'M JONNY AN OLD BIKER WITH AN EVIL PAST.

Welcome aboard, Jonny!

A biker, eh? I think that's kinda cool. What kind of bike do
you have?

> NOW I WANT OUT.

I'm wondering if that has anything with the past you mentioned.
What makes your life unbearable, if you don't mind my asking?

Personally, I believe people don't have real freedom to make
choices. Nothing happens without a reason. When we do "stupid"
things, we really have no alternative. That means the Buddha
was correct when he said that to understand all is to forgive
all.

If you'd like to know more about where I'm coming from, may I
recommend a section in Psychological Self-help entitled
Determinism:

http://ocd.cmhc.com/psyhelp/chap14/chap14j.htm

> I'V TRIED 4 ATEMPTS IN THE LAST 6 MO.

That's sad.

> IT CAN'T BE THIS HARD ?????

You mean dying? From what I hear, it's very hard. Especially
through ODs.

He Who Changes

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Mar 4, 2002, 2:52:26 PM3/4/02
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CindyB <c_b...@twcny.idontthinksorr.com> says...

>
> "JONNY R CAFFEY" <BIKE...@prodigy.net> wrote in message
> news:QYNg8.21155$e22.309...@newssvr15.news.prodigy.com...
> > I'M JONNY AN OLD BIKER WITH AN EVIL PAST. NOW I WANT OUT.

<snip>

> Did you ever think that maybe it just isn't your time to die? You can't undo
> your past, but you can make a difference in your future, or maybe even
> somebody else's future.

Hey, Cindy! Have I ever told you how much I like having you
around? To help you remember: I was previously known as Blah :)

CindyB

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Mar 4, 2002, 3:28:04 PM3/4/02
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"He Who Changes" <like_e...@everywhere.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.16edfcf6a...@nntp.hut.fi...

Well, thank you very much! I'm glad you changed your name. He who Changes
sounds must more positive. I'm so busy lately that I don't get to visit here
as much as I'd like and sometimes there are so many posts that I just have
to mark them all as read without actually reading them :-(


jammer

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Mar 4, 2002, 5:14:53 PM3/4/02
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Hi jonny, I am an ex biker's old lady, have an evil past myself and
have tried to die a few times. But now i try to live for my son. I
will be back another time, please stay around for a bit.
Peace, juls

jammer

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Mar 4, 2002, 5:16:03 PM3/4/02
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Parts of the past is hard to forget and sometimes it's hard to get
past things i have done. I should be a lifer in prison but i was
lucky...

jammer

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Mar 4, 2002, 5:18:07 PM3/4/02
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I will never tell anyone some of the things i have done and if there
is any kind of bike other than a Harley, i never noticed.

Norm Chimpsky

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Mar 4, 2002, 7:24:25 PM3/4/02
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On Mon, 04 Mar 2002 16:18:07 -0600 in alc.suicide, jammer goes...

> I will never tell anyone some of the things i have done and if there
> is any kind of bike other than a Harley, i never noticed.
>
Well; you've never rode a 500cc 1971 BMW twin. :P


>
> On Mon, 4 Mar 2002 21:45:49 +0200, He Who Changes
> <like_e...@everywhere.com> wrote:
>
> >JONNY R CAFFEY <BIKE...@prodigy.net> says...
> >>
> >> I'M JONNY AN OLD BIKER WITH AN EVIL PAST.
> >
> >Welcome aboard, Jonny!
> >
> >A biker, eh? I think that's kinda cool. What kind of bike do
> >you have?
> >
> >> NOW I WANT OUT.
> >
> >I'm wondering if that has anything with the past you mentioned.
> >What makes your life unbearable, if you don't mind my asking?
> >
> >Personally, I believe people don't have real freedom to make
> >choices. Nothing happens without a reason. When we do "stupid"
> >things, we really have no alternative. That means the Buddha
> >was correct when he said that to understand all is to forgive
> >all.
> >
> >If you'd like to know more about where I'm coming from, may I
> >recommend a section in Psychological Self-help entitled
> >Determinism:
> >
> >http://ocd.cmhc.com/psyhelp/chap14/chap14j.htm
> >
> >> I'V TRIED 4 ATEMPTS IN THE LAST 6 MO.
> >
> >That's sad.
> >
> >> IT CAN'T BE THIS HARD ?????
> >
> >You mean dying? From what I hear, it's very hard. Especially
> >through ODs.
>
>

--
_\/_
//o\ _\/_
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"You're the smartest, sexiest guy I've ever met!" -
malkovich alt.geek
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to do with something for sale or wanted to buy?
Make your point in a diff newsgroup that cares
what you say!" - Hammerman

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more to that sig file." - Flogodino

Von

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Mar 4, 2002, 5:36:21 PM3/4/02
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Finger Painting Ward. :)

Never heard that one before. I don't think that I would like to be stuck in
the finger painting ward.

There is a meaning that you are here so forget about suicide for now. Next
time you may really get deformed or something.

Anyway death is not the end so what would that do? Unless you make peace
with your self here then no matter were you go you will not be at peace.

There are many very unhappy ghosts floating around in the astral plane that
thought just like you did.

There are many other options than to cop-out on us.


Von

"JONNY R CAFFEY" <BIKE...@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:QYNg8.21155$e22.309...@newssvr15.news.prodigy.com...

CindyB

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Mar 4, 2002, 6:34:00 PM3/4/02
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Don't forget your past. Learn from it. Compare how different you are now to
how you were then. You are a good person now and deserve to live and
contribute.

Just the other night, I got together with some old friends from high school.
We've recently started doing that every month or 2. We play Trivial Pursuit,
Taboo, TriBond, etc., have a lot of laughs and talk about high school. I
think I surprised them Saturday when I said I would NEVER go back to those
days. At the time, I didn't like myself, didn't want to be who I was. I'm
comfortable with myself now. I don't know that I've really changed much, but
my attitude has. I kind of like me now.

Don't know how or when that happened, but I do know that my 40s are my best
years and I'll never go back.


"jammer" <jcar...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:gfs78uoo9c9jl31ea...@4ax.com...

Rockettgirl

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Mar 4, 2002, 9:50:37 PM3/4/02
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Hi Jonny
Welcome to A.S. Someone should be along to offer you a seat soon. Kevn usually does but he seems to be busy at the moment. So tell me why do you want out?

Rockettgirl

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Mar 4, 2002, 9:52:21 PM3/4/02
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Yes there is only the Harley. Because H.O.N.D.A is an acronym for Hop On Nothing Dumb Ass

JONNY R CAFFEY

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Mar 4, 2002, 10:38:34 PM3/4/02
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I can't explane how I feel, just my world is crashing down around me.
a woman has put me down to my knees.
Thanks for the welcome
ta ta for now
  Jonny
 
 

MerryKat

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Mar 4, 2002, 11:07:15 PM3/4/02
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That's good to hear. Gives me hope that when I hit my 40's I can say
the same. ;->
MerryKat

MerryKat

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Mar 5, 2002, 12:07:43 AM3/5/02
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It is this hard.
Hi Jonny,
Pull up a chair.
What's got ya lookin for the exit? Somebody cared enough to stop you.
That should count for something.
We're not the group for methods. You need to try the groups in the alt.
section for that.
Hang in there, Jonny. Maybe we can help.
MerryKat

Rockettgirl

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Mar 5, 2002, 1:05:25 PM3/5/02
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Never end your life over a woman! (Or a man for that matter). I hope you can stay and chat for awhile.

jammer

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Mar 5, 2002, 6:09:54 PM3/5/02
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On Tue, 05 Mar 2002 03:38:34 GMT, "JONNY R CAFFEY"
<BIKE...@prodigy.net> wrote:


> I can't explane how I feel, just my world is crashing down around me.
> a woman has put me down to my knees.
> Thanks for the welcome
> ta ta for now
> Jonny

BTW, the nut house i ended up in didnt have fingerpainting, but i had
to go to group meetings all day.

It is the truth, man. If you aren't with her, she wasn't the one for
you. There is someone else in the cards for you WHEN it is time.

Peace, juls
>

Norm Chimpsky

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Mar 5, 2002, 9:25:52 PM3/5/02
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On Tue, 05 Mar 2002 17:09:54 -0600 in alc.suicide, jammer goes...

> On Tue, 05 Mar 2002 03:38:34 GMT, "JONNY R CAFFEY"
> <BIKE...@prodigy.net> wrote:
>
>
> > I can't explane how I feel, just my world is crashing down around me.
> > a woman has put me down to my knees.
> > Thanks for the welcome
> > ta ta for now
> > Jonny
>
> BTW, the nut house i ended up in didnt have fingerpainting, but i had
> to go to group meetings all day.
>

Hey, Jammer -- just curious; what nuthouse did you go to?
I've heard about deplorable, filthy conditions at state
hospitals. I've never actually been in a mental hospital
but during my heavy drug days -- I sure could have used
a break from the action. I got locked up in a loony cell
once until I dried up. I got there on purpose tho cuz
I wanted my own private cel -- damn chilly tho without
a sheet and jump suit and having to eat dinner without
utensils. :P


> It is the truth, man. If you aren't with her, she wasn't the one for
> you. There is someone else in the cards for you WHEN it is time.
>
> Peace, juls
> >
>
>

--

_\/_
//o\ _\/_
_ ___ __ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ | __/o\\ _
=-=-_=-=-_=-=_=-_=_=-_=-_-_=_=-= _=_=-=_,-'|"'""-|-,_
=- _=-=-_=- _=-= _--_ =-= -_=-=_-=_,-" |
=- =- =-= =- = - -===- -= -= ."
(((((((((BEER)))))))))

"You're the smartest, sexiest guy I've ever met!" -
malkovich alt.geek

nu na hi du na tlo hi lu I - Indian Song

Rockettgirl

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Mar 5, 2002, 8:09:46 PM3/5/02
to
The one I was in had Yatzee. Whoo Ho we did have arts and crafts, but I participated in neither.

jammer

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Mar 5, 2002, 8:43:14 PM3/5/02
to
Harris Methodist Adult Psychiatric ward in Euless, Tx.

I am just so proud:)

jammer

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Mar 5, 2002, 8:47:04 PM3/5/02
to

I couldnt tell you if the place was filthy or not, although i think i
would have remembered that. I was drugged out of my mind from the
first day there and had to have help going from place to place. No one
else appeared to be so fucked up and a couple people wondered why they
were ding that to me. I had to fake taking meds (this guy showed me
how with m&m's in the lunch room) in order to do an academy award
preformance of a reformed, sane, and not even a little depressed
person. That is how i escaped.


On Tue, 5 Mar 2002 18:25:52 -0800, Norm Chimpsky
<raf...@concord.jelly.jar> wrote:

Norm Chimpsky

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Mar 6, 2002, 2:03:00 AM3/6/02
to
On Tue, 05 Mar 2002 19:47:04 -0600 in alc.suicide, jammer goes...

>
> I couldnt tell you if the place was filthy or not, although i think i
> would have remembered that. I was drugged out of my mind from the
> first day there and had to have help going from place to place. No one
> else appeared to be so fucked up and a couple people wondered why they
> were ding that to me. I had to fake taking meds (this guy showed me
> how with m&m's in the lunch room) in order to do an academy award
> preformance of a reformed, sane, and not even a little depressed
> person. That is how i escaped.


So they keep you doped up so that you're too sick to leave?

>
>
> On Tue, 5 Mar 2002 18:25:52 -0800, Norm Chimpsky
> <raf...@concord.jelly.jar> wrote:
>
> >On Tue, 05 Mar 2002 17:09:54 -0600 in alc.suicide, jammer goes...
> >> On Tue, 05 Mar 2002 03:38:34 GMT, "JONNY R CAFFEY"
> >> <BIKE...@prodigy.net> wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >> > I can't explane how I feel, just my world is crashing down around me.
> >> > a woman has put me down to my knees.
> >> > Thanks for the welcome
> >> > ta ta for now
> >> > Jonny
> >>
> >> BTW, the nut house i ended up in didnt have fingerpainting, but i had
> >> to go to group meetings all day.
> >>
> >
> > Hey, Jammer -- just curious; what nuthouse did you go to?
> > I've heard about deplorable, filthy conditions at state
> > hospitals. I've never actually been in a mental hospital
> > but during my heavy drug days -- I sure could have used
> > a break from the action. I got locked up in a loony cell
> > once until I dried up. I got there on purpose tho cuz
> > I wanted my own private cel -- damn chilly tho without
> > a sheet and jump suit and having to eat dinner without
> > utensils. :P
> >
> >
> >> It is the truth, man. If you aren't with her, she wasn't the one for
> >> you. There is someone else in the cards for you WHEN it is time.
> >>
> >> Peace, juls
> >> >
> >>
> >>
>
>

--

_\/_
//o\ _\/_
_ ___ __ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ | __/o\\ _
=-=-_=-=-_=-=_=-_=_=-_=-_-_=_=-= _=_=-=_,-'|"'""-|-,_
=- _=-=-_=- _=-= _--_ =-= -_=-=_-=_,-" |
=- =- =-= =- = - -===- -= -= ."
(((((((((BEER)))))))))

"You're the smartest, sexiest guy I've ever met!" -
malkovich alt.geek

nu na hi du na tlo hi lu i - Indian Song

Von

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Mar 6, 2002, 12:45:27 AM3/6/02
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As I always say. You have to get better in order to die.


Von

"Norm Chimpsky" <raf...@concord.jelly.jar> wrote in message
news:MPG.16ef5f016...@news.alt.net...

jammer

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Mar 6, 2002, 12:32:11 PM3/6/02
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Too sick, no. Too fucked up to walk out the door and get in my car,
yes.


On Tue, 5 Mar 2002 23:03:00 -0800, Norm Chimpsky

Norm Chimpsky

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Mar 6, 2002, 3:44:21 PM3/6/02
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On Wed, 06 Mar 2002 11:32:11 -0600 in alc.suicide, jammer goes...

> Too sick, no. Too fucked up to walk out the door and get in my car,
> yes.

My doctor (not my doctor anymore) tried to
get my immediate family to file something
and get me picked up on a mental health
warrant so I could be forcibly detoxed.
Hehehehe. My lawyer took care of it
somehow. He's good at filing shit and talking
to judges.

--

_\/_
//o\ _\/_
_ ___ __ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ | __/o\\ _
=-=-_=-=-_=-=_=-_=_=-_=-_-_=_=-= _=_=-=_,-'|"'""-|-,_
=- _=-=-_=- _=-= _--_ =-= -_=-=_-=_,-" |
=- =- =-= =- = - -===- -= -= ."
(((((((((BEER)))))))))

"You're the smartest, sexiest guy I've ever met!" -
malkovich alt.geek

nu na hi du na tlo hi lu I - Indian Song

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