In This Issue:

1) Update - New VIDEOS available at our sites - Leadership and
Communication Topics
2) Update - New Newsletter Archive
3) Conflict Prevention In The Workplace
4) Performance Management and Customer Service Resources
5) Feature Article - More Courageous Tact, Less Hostility: 14 Things
High Achievers Know About Sharing a Difficult Truth
6 )Our Sites

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1) Updates: Video sections

We're pleased to announce that we are now adding video resources to
our sites, or at least free video resources. So, in addition to both
short and long articles, knowledgebases on various topics, and links
to great material, we now have embedded videos.

At present we are building video sections on a number of topics, but
the most advanced are sections on leadership video clips and
communication video clips.

The leadership section is at http://www.work911.com/leadership-development/video/
and contains clips varying in length from just a minute or two to
longer ones. For example there are several short and simple videos/
slide shows that contain pictures and music and display quotes from
great leaders. There's a piece on applying military leadership
principles and another on getting buy-in for the leader's vision. Of
course there's more and we've just started to build.

The communication video section is at http://www.work911.com/communication/video/index.htm
.

So far in this section we've got an outstanding video on therapeutic
communication skills that runs about 28 minutes, which is a must for
those in the helping professions, but is also useful for all of us.

For those looking for a quick reminder or introduction to the
differences between aggressive, passive-aggressive and assertive
behavior, there's a short video on that topic also.

We've also added some interesting videos on Marshall Rosenberg's
Nonviolent Communication theory and models.

2 ) Update:

Just a minor update, but we're revamping our catalog of back issues of
this newsletter, to create a freshly formatted archive of past issues,
going back to the year 2000. It's an ongoing project, and it's
interesting to see how we've progressed over the years. If you are
interested, the years 2000 and 2001 are now online at: http://www.work911.com/archive/

3) Communicating Cooperatively - Conflict Prevention In The Workplace

Looking at Dr. M. Rosenberg's videos on Nonviolent communication (see
above) reminded me that we haven't talked much about my book on an
allied topic - conflict reducton via the use of cooperative
communication. A number of years ago I discovered in workshops that
some people seemed to be relatively free of conflict in the workplace,
while others seem to be often caught in conflict webs. I became
curious as to why that would be. What I discovered was that apart from
some temperment issues, the people who were conflict free talked
differently to those around them than those that attracted conflict.
They used different words and language, for example.

I eventually came up with the idea that we can communicate
cooperatively (ways that encourage working together) or communicate
confrontationally (ways that tend to create conflict even when none
exists), and wrote the book Conflict Prevention In The Workplace -
Using Cooperative Communication.

The book is available for download ($25.95 U.S.) and in print (price
slightly more + shipping). For more information go to:
http://conflict911.com/conflict-help/conflictbook.htm .

It's an excellent time to buy any of our products if you live outside
of the U.S., due to currency exchange rates.

The best news, though applies, even if you DO NOT want to buy the
book. You can download a completely free, no strings, no registration,
no nonsense preview of the book, so, in fact you an learn, and develop
your cooperative communication skills without paying a cent. Just use
the same address (http://conflict911.com/conflict-help/
conflictbook.htm) and click on GET FREE PREVIEW.

4) Our Customer Service and Performance Management Sites

Just a reminder that we have created excellent, and perhaps the most
popular sites on customer service and performance management on the
net.

Our performance management and appraisal site is located at
http://performance-appraisals.org while our site designed to help
people provide better customer service and to deal more effectively
with tough customer service situations is at http://customerservicezone.com

5) Featured Article

More Courageous Tact, Less Hostility: 14 Things High Achievers Know
About Sharing a Difficult Truth
By Sharon Miller

"I have no reservations about making people feel uncomfortable." -
Hatim Tyabji, CEO, Verifone

A lot of what drives my clients crazy is keeping their mouths shut -
when to do it and when not onto do it, usually when the "truth", as
they see it, is screaming to be heard.

We spend time identifying what they need and want to say, how to
deliver the somewhat risky message, how to cope with their fears, and
how to minimize and manage fallout.

The interesting thing is they never regret speaking out, even if the
outcome was not exactly as they had hoped. They end up feeling more in
control and their self-esteem and cfidence goes up.

Often we steer clear of telling the truth because we wish to avoid
confrontation. Yet not addressing contentious issues can have negative
consequences to the business, to our relationships, and to us.

Here are 14 things High Achievers always keep in mind when sharing a
difficult truth:

START BY BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF

Consider your motives - are they positive and productive or not? Are
you telling the truth because of a need to be candid, in integrity,
and to move the business or relationship forward or is it about your
judgments and making the other person "wrong"?

LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION

It may be telling you that you don't have enough information and
should explore the issue further. Maybe it's telling you to keep your
mouth shut.

REMEMBER THAT TRUTH IS MORE OFTEN SUBJECTIVE THAN VERIFIABLE

The grass is green vs. you made a stupid mistake and therefore are an
idiot. We often start the conversation assuming that we are right and
the other person is wrong. In fact, there are very few absolute
truths. Truth is relative to the individual and is based on their
experience, socialization, etc. which will be different than yours.

The challenge is that both people may be "right" and the difficulty
has arisen from conflicting perceptions, feelings, and values around
the so-called "facts".

BE COURAGEOUS, TAKE A RISK, AND PRACTICE RISK MANAGEMENT

Courage usually increases in proportion to thought and preparation.
What is the cost/benefit of telling the truth? Sometimes no real
purpose will be served by telling the truth as you see it. If the cost
of not speaking is high, how can you contain the possible risk of
sharing what you believe to be true? Doing a risk assessment is a
necessary component to preparation. Discern which conversations should
have a big time investment in groundwork and which do not.

SET YOUR INTENTIONS

What is the purpose of the conversation, what is the message you want
to send, what do you want the recipient to do with the information,
what behaviour on your part will support/not support your intentions,
what do you need to let go of. Remember to stay grounded in your
intentions throughout the conversation, particularly in the midst of
discomfort or chaos.

PREPARE FOR THE CONVERSATION

Consider the underlying source of the issue (e.g. work climate and
culture), as well as the symptom (e.g. the other person's behaviour).
Are there specific examples that illustrate what you're talking about?
Plan to remove judgments from your description and point of view. Tell
the truth as you see it as objectively as possible and without
interpretation.

Get help with tough messages. Practice or role-play in advance with a
skilled, trusted, advisor who can also help you see more clearly how
your behaviour might get in the way. Under what circumstances do you
get emotionally triggered and what is the best way for you to handle
it - listen, ask questions, wait until you can be more rational,
disengage?

CREATE CONNECTION

Is there a relationship of trust or suspicion as the backdrop to your
message? If possible, create a moment of connection, rapport, or
common ground rather than going straight to the "truth".

SET THE CONTEXT

Clearly identify the issue, from your perspective. Why is this
conversation important? What's at stake? Identify your wish to
understand what's happening from the other's perspective and sincere
desire to resolve the issue.

TAILOR YOUR MESSAGE TO YOUR AUDIENCE

Some may want all the facts. With these people, you may choose to
appeal to reason and use data and examples, even lining up experts or
third party support for the truth as you see it. Others may want to
have the executive summary or the bottom line - what does this mean to
me. Still others will want to feel that you are looking out for them
and have their best interests at heart, regardless of the message.

ANTICIPATE AND OBSERVE THE IMPACT OF YOUR ACTIONS AND WORDS

Remember, the medium (you) is also the message. Take full
responsibility for how you are heard.

If you were standing in the recipient's shoes, how would you feel?
Watch your language - is it constructive and focused on the issue or
opportunity or are you speaking in a snide, judgmental manner and
making it personal? You may be emotionally triggered, but put a rope
around it.

Remember that up to 90% of communication is visual. Your listeners are
watching to be sure that your body language matches what you are
saying.

AVOID BEING RIGID AND FIND COMMON GROUND

Highlight areas of agreement, common values, and shared needs. If
possible, articulate a new possibility that arises from the disclosure
of the truth. If you can't agree on what is true, try to agree on next
steps such as an approach to resolve the disagreement, the best way to
follow up, etc.

BE GRACIOUS, MATURE, AND AVOID ANGRY ESCALATION

Accept that not everyone wants the truth, as you or anyone other than
they see it. If you see someone is offended then address it, but don't
back down from your true feelings. Ask them if they would like to
explore the topic further or if they require additional clarity.

If someone attacks you, rephrase it as an attack on the issue not on
you. Use diplomacy and tact. LISTEN. If all else fails, it may be wise
to disengage to allow others a break to process their emotions. By
paying attention to your body (tension, shallow breathing, etc.), you
may discover the person requiring the time out is you.

CHECK TO SEE IF MESSAGES ON BOTH SIDES HAVE BEEN RECEIVED AND
UNDERSTOOD Encourage dialogue. Solicit how others are feeling about
your message. Reflect back feelings and empathize.

Ask open-ended questions. LISTEN. Seek to understand. Remember to
paraphrase and summarize what you've heard. Put your own judgments on
hold.

ASSESS AND GET FEEDBACK ON YOUR BEHAVIOR

What did you do well and not so well? How well were you able to stay
with your intentions? What were you not prepared to let go of and did
this serve the conversation? What's next for you in terms of
behavioural improvements? Any damage control required?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

· Just observe how you handle difficult conversations. Make note of
any themes around your behaviour. Does your behaviour support or
hinder the truth?

· As a leader, how have you created an environment of safety and
trust? Do your people willingly share the truth as they see it? If
not, why not? What happens when they do? What is the cost when they
don't?

"For my part, for whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing
to know the whole truth; to know the worst and provide for it."

- Patrick Henry, statesman

RESOURCES

"Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One
Conversation at a Time", Susan Scott, Berkeley Books, 2002

"Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most", Douglas
Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen, Penguin Books, 2000

"Getting to Yes", Robert Fisher, William Ury & Bruce Patton, Penguin
Books, 1991

"Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life", Marshall B. Rosenberg,
PuddleDancer Press, 2003

Sharon Miller has worked in and with large corporations since 1978.
She has distinguished herself in 3 different careers - Investment
Trading & Sales, Strategic Human Resources, and Coaching. She was
noted as one of the top 3 salespeople in Canada in money market
securities. She's been a high potential, exceptional performer,
partnering with individuals as senior as Vice-Chairman, and has
managed teams in both line and staff functions. She is professionally
certified as coach through The Coaches Training Institute and has
built a successful home based business on her terms.

Sharon helps high achievers have more impact with less struggle. Sign
up for her FREE monthly e-zine, More With Less, which practically
explores business, team, and individual challenges to high performance
and high enjoyment. Sign up at http://www.sharonamiller.com

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6) Our Sites:

Just a quick summary of our sites that have information on the
following topics:

Leadership Resource Center: http://work911.com/leadership-development/index.html

Communication Resource Center: http://www.work911.com/communication/index.htm

Conflict (both workplace and family) http://conflict911.com

Business, Strategic and Personal Planning: http://www.work911.com/planningmaster/index.html

Performance Management & Appraisal: http://performance-appraisals.org

Customer Service: http://customerservicezone.com

Our Main Site: http://www.work911.com

Multi-Purpose Articles Database: http://www.articles911.com

To new subscribers: The work911 newsletter is published no more than
once a week (but usually no more than once a month) and contains
articles on all things work related, and contains other work related
resources, and updates about our sites, and their contents. Past
history indicates we publish about every ten days.

Don't forget that you can access free, useable previews of over twenty
of our books and helpcards at:

http://work911.com/products

and that we continue to offer special freebie offers and discounts to
our newsletter subscribers!