Work911 Ezine - Focus on Communication, Conflict and the Holiday Season
Robert Bacal
Season. New Knowledge Base On Better Communication.
You are receiving the work911.com newsletter because you asked to be
placed on this distribution list. It is NEVER sent unsolicited. To
unsubscribe just follow the instructions at the bottom.
If your email shows lines that are too long, set your email program to
WRAP LONG LINES.
For many, this is a time for gearing up for the holiday season, and
that brings with it a set of its own challenges, in addition to the
potential for good times. In this holiday season issue, we'll let you
know what's new on our sites, share some ideas on better communication
with you, and wish you a safe, happy holiday season.
In This Issue:
1) What's New - Our Communication Knowledgebase and More
2) Article 1 - Five Smooth Tactics To Neutralize Conflicts and Enhance
Communication
3) Article 2 - Changing Conflict To Dialogue
4) Our Sites
1) What's New?
We're continuing our effort to develop new material on our websites in
a form that is concise and easy to learn from. Over the last few months
we've created the Communication Improvement Free Resource Center.
There, you'll find over sixty questions and answers to help you improve
your workplace and personal/family communication knowledge and skills.
Specific topics range from basic concepts and communication models,
barriers to communication and how to overcome them, through to skills
like listening and assertiveness. An ideal beginning to remind yourself
that how you communicate will affect how well your relationships go,
and that's a good thing to remember as you spend more time socializing
with family, friends and colleagues.
Access the communication area at
http://www.work911.com/communication/index.htm
We've also continued to build similar knowledgebases for other topics:
Customer Service: December is a time when customers and customer
service staff are stressed, rushed, frayed and more than a little bad
tempered. Visit our Frequently Asked Questions Area for help at:
http://customerservicezone.com/faq/index.htm
PS. It's not too late to get your copy of Defusing Hostile Customers
Workbook to help you get through the holiday season and its customer
service aftermath. Free preview and chapters at:
http://customerservicezone.com/products/index.htm
Planning and Strategic Planning: For many people and companies,
December and January are times for developing plans for the next year.
The Strategic and Business Planning site has material on all kinds of
planning -- strategic, business, personal, human resource planning.
Access the main site at:
http://www.work911.com/planningmaster/index.html and the Frequently
asked questions area at:
http://www.work911.com/planningmaster/faq/index.htm
Fast Answers From Our Frequently Asked Questions Knowledgebase
Finally, many companies do performance appraisals at the end of the
year. Get prepared, whether you are a manager, an employee, or a human
resources professional by taking a look at our Performance Management
and Appraisal Knowledgebase at:
http://performance-appraisals.org/faq/index.htm .
Over a hundred questions and answers to help everyone benefit from what
is often an uncomfortable process.
Our Theme - Communication, Conflict and All That
December holidays should be fun and satisfying but the truth is that
for a number of reasons, it's very often stressful, and involves more
conflict, particularly within the family, then one would want.
Effective communication and conflict management can go a long way to
reducing the rough spots. We have two articles related to the theme.
2) Five Smooth Tactics To Neutralize Conflicts and Enhance
Communication
By Joseph Plazo
Using active listening through a spat is the first move you can take to
mitigate the situation and crack whatever problems have surfaced.
Realize, nonetheless, that when people feel strongly about an issue,
their emotions will impact their ability to correspond and listen. It
is imperative therefore to utilize a blend of active and reflective
listening skills. Here are five methods you can use to defuse conflicts
and enhance effective communication.
1. Condemn the issue or behavior, not the person. By dealing with the
issue or the behavior, you evade attacking the other person. If you are
"arguing" with your teen about a curfew, stick to the issue of the
curfew or to his actions of breaching curfew. Don't scour up all of his
past blunders or chastise him a "crazy kid who can't do anything
right." That is attacking the person. It will harm his self-esteem and
will only create barriers. Listen to what he has to share and keep him
on track if he wanders from the issue. Persist with active listening
even if he other person does not. Your liberality with active listening
will help soothe a potentially damaging situation.
2. Understand that each person has worth. It is almost impractical to
observe active or reflective listening if you dismiss the speaker as
inferior or insignificant. You don't have to concur with him, but it is
decisive that you defer to his right to a different opinion and
recognize his sense of value. Find something that the two of you have
in common. Try to appreciate what the other person is saying and why he
feels a certain way.
3. Sidestep absolutes - right/wrong, bad/good. Statements like "you
always" or "you never" are absolutes that hinder communication. An
active listener will sense these right away and counter with a
statement such as, "I hear you saying I always do such and so, but
actually I..." The same is true of statements that indicate right/wrong
or bad/good. This is not to say there aren't circumstances that are
right or wrong, bad or good, but in a dispute most right/wrong or bad/
good situations are merely exaggerations and the truth is somewhere in
between. All-encompassing simplifications polarize a conflict. The
focus then is not on cracking the difficulty at hand, but instead the
focus is on each party effectively defining her personal position.
4. Convey "I feel" messages instead of "you" messages. For
illustration, when you say, "You don't know what you're talking about,"
you are sending a "you" message. An "I" message would be, "I don't
understand what you're discussing." The "you" message lays culpability
on the speaker. The "I" message clarifies your apprehension. The same
is true with your teen. An "I" message would be, "I worry about you
when you aren't home by your curfew," or "When you come beyond your
curfew, I feel like you are intentionally flouting me." The "I" message
tells the other person how you feel about a position. The "I" message
is concerned with the issue. The "you" message harass the person.
5. Activate your brain and defer your emotions. This is perhaps the
most trying of the five techniques since verbal discord by nature is
emotional. The eventual goal is to transform the verbal conflict into a
dialogue. Verbal rows are counterproductive in conducting business and
certainly don't cultivate a harmonious home life. Instead of letting
your emotions take over, ask yourself, "How can I help solve this
problem? What resolution is paramount for both of us? What can we
modify? You need to rein in your emotions for the sake of the issue.
Listen energetically and nonjudgmentally.
Joseph Plazo is a renowned success coach. He conducts dating workshops
to help men attract women... 24/7!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joseph_Plazo
---
3) Changing Conflict To Dialogue
By Laurie Weiss
Dialogue is a different kind of conversation. It's a way of exploring
and understanding information and ideas. When practiced, it draws on
and uses the wisdom of everyone involved.
It is easier to create an argument than it is to create a dialogue. You
do this when you have a different opinion than someone else about how
to solve a problem, and you act as if there is one correct answer and
your task is find it.
As long as you believe that a single correct course of action exists,
you debate the issue. You try to convince others that a particular
position is correct. Someone wins and someone loses. Even when you
believe that this is an outmoded way to solve problems, you continue to
use it, because it is comfortable and familiar (Business as usual).
Dialogue, a technology for creating understanding in groups, is
different. Dialogue is inclusive instead of exclusive. Dialogue is
based upon the belief that there are many ways of approaching any
issue, and that no single one is correct.
The aim of Dialogue is to create a forum in which ideas can be
explored, expanded, deepened and illuminated until new meaning and
understanding emerge. Instead of trying to create support for your own
positions, when you engage in Dialogue you listen to and question
others, attempting to deepen your understanding of all of the
information being presented.
The principles are simple, but not easy to put into practice. The
challenge is to listen with care to each statement or question that is
offered, and to respond in a way that deepens the investigation of the
topic that is being explored.
You may then offer a statement of your own understanding, or ask a
question to focus the exploration in a new direction.
When everyone in the group agrees to practice the Dialogue process,
learning increases dramatically. However, even if you're the only one
interested in changing the conversation, you can make a good start at
it by following these steps.
Being clear is more important than being right.
Instead of trying to prove that your idea or position is correct, your
task is to explain your beliefs carefully, so that others can
understand them. As others come to understand your position, they may
ask questions to clarify their understanding. Or they may also offer
observations of their own that will allow you to better understand
other aspects of your original ideas.
Eventually a shared understanding is developed from many contributions,
and the idea comes to belong to the entire group instead of to any
single member of the group.
If it is necessary to make a decision about the issue being addressed,
it is done after the exploration is completed. Often such decisions
emerge quickly and easily without any need to debate different
positions. Everyone present has had the opportunity to be heard and
acknowledged and has made a contribution to the outcome. Commitment to
such decisions is high (NOT just business as usual).
Exploring different perspectives on the truth instead of arguing about
which is correct can best be accomplished in a protected environment.
It takes time to practice the skills of listening deeply and asking
questions instead of advocating your favorite positions.
Setting aside uninterrupted time to explore issues, without expecting
to achieve any particular result, and agreeing to simple rules like
allowing each speaker to complete a statement without interruption, are
basic conditions necessary to begin the process. Learning to say "I
wonder what would happen if..." instead of "I think you should..." is
an important part of establishing an environment for Dialogue.
Trained professional facilitators can help you and your group learn how
to implement these procedures.
Communicate skillfully about sensitive subjects in business situations.
Have the challenging conversations that lead to cooperation and
success. http://www.DareToSayIt.com/blog
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., is a Master Certified Coach and communication
expert. Dr. Weiss has spent 35 years helping clients resolve conflict
in business and personal relationships. Email feed...@laurieweiss.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Laurie_Weiss
---
4) Our Sites:
Just a quick summary of our sites that have information on the
following topics:
Conflict (both workplace and family) http://conflict911.com
Business, Strategic and Personal Planning:
http://www.work911.com/planningmaster/index.html
Performance Management & Appraisal: http://performance-appraisals.org
Customer Service: http://customerservicezone.com
Our Main Site: http://www.work911.com
Multi-Purpose Articles Database: http://www.articles911.com
That's it for now. Have a safe and happy holiday season.
To new subscribers: The work911 newsletter is published no more than
once a week and contains articles on all things work related, and
contains other work related resources, and updates about our sites, and
their contents. Past history indicates we publish about every ten days.
Don't forget that you can access free, useable previews of over twenty
of our books and helpcards at:
and that we continue to offer special freebie offers and discounts to
our newsletter subscribers!