WOW

[Jay]

I'm not new to this list but my email addy recently went defunct so I
had to sign up again.

Anyway, my kids are always unschooled are able to pursue their
passions without artificial limits.

Since March, my son has started playing World of Warcraft. Initially
he started playing with my brother, then his dad joined, and he has
made numerous friends across the country and world. He loves this
game! He plays for long stretches at a time, taking breaks only to
use the bathroom. I bring him food and drinks, he shows me what he's
doing, explains quests, etc.

My concern is that he really is starting to do this to the exclusion
of everything else. We did just take a vacation and he had fun, but
we had wifi available and when not seeing sights he played. His dad
has taken him on weekend outings (we're divorced) and visiting other
friends, but he's always on the computer when home.

I'm not into arbitrary limits, and I see him learning so much. What
is prompting this post is: on our last day of vacation, he wanted to
finish one more thing before he went to bed, which was fine. I got up
at midnight to take the dogs out, and he was still 'finishing up.'
Next thing I know it's morning, and he said he never went to bed! And
seeing how he fell asleep instantly when we started driving, I
believed him. I did wake him up 5 hours later when we arrived at a
cool cavern, which once he woke up he did enjoy.

It's now 6:42 am and he's been up all night again. This can't be
healthy for a 9.5 yr old not to sleep. I'm more concerned about his
eating and sleeping and his health more than the game. I can get him
to turn it off if we need to go do something, or if I know he needs to
sleep so he can get up for some activity in the morning, etc. But
he'd rather play this to the exclusion of all else.

How can I meet his need to play yet also make sure he gets some sleep
and eats properly?

Thanks!

[maryki...@charter.net]

Your son is a carbon copy of my son. My son, just turned 10, also started playing WOW in March. He stays up all night and plays most nights. He sleeps when he is tired, eats when he is hungry, once in a while he will go somewhere with us, but most of the time he is on WOW. I trust that he knows what is best for him and he tells me that when I ask him if he is going to go to bed. He lets me know that he will go when he is ready and he does. Trust that he will know when he is ready. He will be fine.
--
Mary King
www.unschoolingsupermom.blogspot.com

[Laura Endres]

>>>>>Trust that he will know when he is ready. He will be fine. 

My sons have been into these kinds of games sometimes too, and they have also forgone other activities to play them.  In our experience, they do this for several months and then tire of the games and move on to something else.  That may not be everyone's experience.  Once, at a table of unschoolers, I said how my kids were very into Runescape.  The other parents chimed in with, "Mine were too - it lasted about six months," with most nodding their heads that their experience was similar.  Sure enough, after about six months of very intense involvement, they tired of the game and moved on to something else.  I think they felt they'd exhausted their options in the games, or in some cases, the novelty had worn off and they weren't willing to plug away at it to get to the next level anymore.  In other cases, something new and intriguing came along and they were on to that.  I'm not sharing this to say "Hang on - it'll be over soon!" but to share that this is how my kids tend to do most things.  In the past year they've shown intense interests in Rocky Balboa, fitness, NFL football, video game design, song writing, and music recording.  In all cases they dove head-long into it, did little of anything else, and then just as suddenly moved on to another focus. 

 

I don't know if others find something similar with their kids or if that's just how our family operates (including me!  hence my quiet blog lately...  ;-).

 

Laura

http://piscesgrrrl.blogspot.com/
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Children aren't coloring
books.  You don't get to fill them
with your favorite colors."
~From The Kite Runner
*~*~*~*~*~*

[Schuyler Waynforth]

Bring him food. Bring him lovely platters filled with lots of different things to eat. Bring him a few a day. Bring him drinks and sit when you bring them and watch him play (I know you said you are doing that, but then you asked how you can get him to eat, I guess I wanted to underscore what you are already doing). Ask him about what he is doing. Ask him if he's in a guild, ask him if he knows about the unschooling guild, oh, where is it? It's a Horde Guild and it is on The Venture Co. I can't remember what it is called, maybe someone else here can give more information. They get together most Friday evenings for raids, or at least that's what I hear. Simon and Linnaea and I all play together on European realms. I used to have a U.S. account, but they wanted me to play with them, so we let that one go. I'll get it up and running when we come to Life is Good in a couple of weeks (wahoo!) so that they can play that way. Linnaea's found a really nice guild that Simon and I have also joined and yesterday she had a blast with her main character doing a dungeon with a whole bunch of other players. It was really fun to watch.

Get the World of Warcraft Atlas. Oh, I want the atlas. There are some great on-line sites that are good for looking for information on how to do a quest or what armor is best and how to get it.

He's excited and focused and having a blast. How can you possibly find fault with that? Help him embrace what he loves, just as if it were creating Rube Golberg machines or spending hours and hours watching ants building nests. It is the same kind of love, fascination. And when he moves on to something else, support him in that too. And even more amazing, he can play with family and friends without having to drive across the country to do so!

Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com

[Laura Endres]

I don't know as I have a question so much as I'm looking for others to share their experiences when dealing with other homeschoolers (not unschoolers).

 

We had a wonderful small group for several years.  There were many unschoolers, and those who didn't unschool were extremely open-minded.  We all gathered in a swirl of mutual admiration, sharing ideas and philosophies and having lovely playdates.  The common thread was we all liked our children so very much, and people were very respectful of other people's children.  We celebrated our lives together and life was good.  That group has since disbanded - some people moved, some children went to school for one reason or another, and one member who'd shown hints of being very dysfunctional began causing trouble and the few remaining members walked away rather than fight to maintain the already-dwindling group.  I do try to see some of those people but distance makes it challenging (and always did).

 

I found another group in a nearby city that is rather large and very active, holding classes taught by volunteer parents every Tuesday.  But here's the thing - there are some very sad dynamics between parents and children.  The vast majority of these people are extremely authoritarian, using techniques such as washing mouths out with soap, grounding, corporal punishment (sit-ups, push-ups), and harsh & sarcastic words to control their children.  And while they are uncomfortable at my "permissiveness" - one parent going so far as saying she might have to leave the group because of permissive parents like me - they are polite to me and demand that their kids call me "Miss Laura" and such because they are so wedded to the idea of respecting authority and showing obedience.  This group is part of a state-wide network of inclusive groups.  Our mission is this: "to support families in exercising their right to homeschool regardless of age, color, creed, ethnic background, family composition, financial condition, gender, learning disabilities, race, religion or lack thereof, sexual preference, or special educational needs," so one might hope it would attract open-minded optimistic people.

 

Why do I still go?  I ask myself that all the time.  For one thing, Jonathan likes some of the kids very much and he looks forward to going, although many of the dynamics do bother him.  We have lots of conversations about things that happen, and he is often frustrated because a certain child won't be able to play with him because he's grounded, or his GameBoy got taken away, or his mom won't let him play Pokemon cards.  I have offered to facilitate classes on theatre, art, pokemon (that didn't go over well with some, though the kids were THRILLED), & creative writing because I enjoy the kids very much, those are things Jonathan and I love to do, and I thought it might be a way I could handle being there.  When the parents wouldn't let their kids choose my pokemon class over a fractions class, for instance (fractions deemed "educational" and pokemon not), I formed a Pokemon Club instead, outside of class hours, so the kids could do both.  That sort of opportunity-seeking thinking seems to make them very uneasy, and yet so far no one has given me direct orders to stop.  I do read between the lines but I'm not creating it to be confrontational, I'm creating the club because my son wants to play pokemon with other kids.

 

Here's a mild example (mild in comparison to other examples I could share) of the disparaging attitude some of these parents show toward their children:  I was having trouble pinning Jonathan's toga sleeves (they're doing a play) and a mother came over to help.  She said, to Jonathan, "You're lucky your mom is pinning this.  If I was pinning my son's I'd poke him with the pin."  I said, "Well, that's not nice."  She said, "No, I'm not saying I'd poke Jonathan, I'm saying I'd poke MY son!"  And I replied, "I know - and that's not nice."

 

Their children, naturally, exhibit all the typical rebellion behaviors that result from authoritarian control.  And rather than the parents examining it in a mindful way, saying "this isn't working - so what might we change" as we on this list do all the time, they see it as proof-positive that they need to exert more control and rule with a firmer hand.  I could go on and on with examples, but frankly, it's all too sad and depressing.

 

I don't only face these sorts of difficult, painful dynamics in our homeschooling group (though, honestly, there seems to be an unusually high concentration there), but I face it at soccer, in the grocery store, anywhere there are parents and children or teachers and students.  I hear FAR more negative and disparaging comments made by people about their own kids/students than positive, affirming, supportive or happy ones.  I am growing very sad, and very jaded.  Where have the loving parents gone?  If it wasn't for lists like this, and for the few *amazing* parents I've been fortunate to find and surround myself with, I'd feel it's all rather hopeless.

 

Do you speak up when you see things you feel are hurtful?  Where is the fine line between overstepping a boundary and obligation to speak on behalf of kids?  Do you participate in communities of people who don't share your principles?  If so, how do you navigate it?  And if not, do you find it's better to fly solo (and keep looking) than have interactions that are less than ideal?

 

I'm not looking for answers or concrete solutions so much as a dialogue on dealing with others who don't share our loving perspective on parent-child relationships.

 

Warmly,

[Jay]

Being that I'm divorced I'm mainly concerned with my ex. While he's
on board for unschooling, it seems as if he's trying hard to be the
'good, normal' parent and
enforce bedtimes, mealtimes, and limit TV and computer stuff. They do
have a lot of activities they do with him on weekends, and that may be
partly why he (my son) dives in to WOW when he's with me. I like that
he's enjoying himself, and is learning so much. I know he won't do it
forever. Most things he's been passionate about (other than
skateboarding) he hasn't pursued into the very wee hours and
overnight. It's not so much the time spent, but when I saw him there,
his eyes looking blank and as if they were propped open with
toothpicks, I was more worried from a health perspective than a gaming
perspective.

One of his other passions, skateboarding, he has ignored in favor of
the game. Less of a concern in the wet winter, but nice sunny spring
days are here and he's not into going outside to skate as usual.

I'll bring him more food and spend time sitting. He finally fell
asleep at 7am, and I'm sure he'll sleep most of the day now.

Jay

[Schuyler Waynforth]

Is your ex-husband having a problem with your son's WoW at the moment? Is is a problem that could get extreme? If not, enjoy the fact that your son gets to be himself and do exactly what he wants to do when he is with you!! What a fantastic gift you get to give!!

Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com

[k]

Hi Laura.  Yes.  I do all the things in your list of questions.  I think it's important to speak when disrespect is going on, usually to the kids and sort of indirectly to the parent(s).  If you do that, at least one individual will have said or done something to counteract the mainstream attitude in your community.  And using words is usually safest for the kids.  They hear it and make choices about what kind of person they want to be.  The parents can usually find it in themselves to ignore what another adult says and not feel the need to reinforce their ideal when you're out of sight.  I know this firsthand.  When I was growing up in SC it was rare to know an adult who was respectful toward children (or anyone really... just that the power dynamics for kids are non-existent and kids bide their time until they can leave ... or become an adult like them).  I remember those people by name if we were introduced or knew each other through some other connection.  And I have some good memories of several strangers who behaved and spoke well of children.  I'll probably never know their names but they made lasting impressions.

I don't participate as much I'd like to because the organized parent/child things on offer either cost more than I have or involve the usual mean dynamics, yet I don't always fly solo because of ds.  I do fly solo by going to egalitarian places, like the library or a bookstore or toystore or restaurant or park with play equipment or... you know.  Otherwise, ds has pretty firm opinions about who he likes to play with and who he doesn't.  When he's too often unhappy with a set of kids, there's not much point in hanging around.  If he thinks the kids are fun though we're there even if the adults or the kids aren't particularly sweet.  Typically though, it's an environment where the adults are sweet to kids or hands off or in one instance he goes there to play with the neighbor kids.  He is best buddies with one of them.  I take stuff to do because some of these are situations where the adults aren't any fun for *me* to spend time with.  And that's easy for me to do.  I love social stuff yet because of where I grew up I'm very accustomed to unsocialable environments, when people are being exclusive about kids or ideas or lifestyles or dress or whatever.  In this way I do seek out (keep my eyes open for) interactions that are more ideal.  In the meantime, I tend to hang out with the kids and keep myself free for other possibilities while busy doing things I *like* to do rather than hanging out for extended periods with adults who frequently have little good to say.

~Katherine

[Aidan Sutherland]

I had this image pop into my head after I read your post- Komodo dragon hatchlings are born with the instinct to cllimb up the nearest tree as soon as possible after hatching; because if they stay on the ground they are likely to be eaten by adult Komodo dragons- including their own parents. My daughter came ooching into the room on her tummy, and said, "Hi, Mommy snake, I'm your baby snake", and I had to say- "Good thing I'm not your mommy Komodo dragon!"

 

I don't know whether to say, stay away from those people since negative people can really spread that feeling around, or what a great opportunity for you and your son to see how not to parent. If that's your only homeschool support group, the support for you is pretty paltry. If it's a small part of your lives, and something your son benefits from, then it's worth it to go for his sake. But you have to find other adults that can support you in being a gentle parent.

 

Poking your kid with a pin is abusive by, I think, most people's standards- even mainstream parents. I think it's right for you to say something- it's not as if you were lecturing or going on a tirade.

 

Aidan

---

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

[Kathleen McKernan]

Did she really mean she would *intentionally* poke him with a pin? Maybe I'm just Pollyanna and all I had was the words (no body language or tone), but I read it as "I'm so klutzy I couldn't do that without poking him." 

Kathleen

[Laura Endres]

"Did she really mean she would *intentionally* poke him with a pin? Maybe I'm just Pollyanna and all I had was the words (no body language or tone), but I read it as "I'm so klutzy I couldn't do that without poking him." 

 

 

No.  She didn't mean that at all.  As I said, that was a *mild* example.  Believe me, I wish it was what you hoped. 

 

Really, in the case of this particular mother, I know it's high time I have a direct, honest conversation with her.  And not just to make things tolerable for me, but for her kids' sake.  But I do run across this everywhere, far too frequently.  I used to be such an extrovert - these days I just want to hole up because it physically (and mentally, emotionally, spiritually) *hurts* me to experience these interactions.  I ache.

 

This mother *rips* into her kids one moment, then will smile sweetly at a parent and say, "I'm sorry, what was I saying?"

 

Jonathan said that on Tuesday she said to him, "You need to behave.  I gave birth to (my daughter) so I can take her out of this world too.  But since you're not my child I can't do that - so you need to settle down."

 

Then she laughs.

 

Jonathan, as he was retelling this, said, "That's probably the most evil thing I've ever heard from a mother."

 

As I write I'm answering some of my own questions.  Sometimes I have to ask the questions aloud to uncover my own answers.

[Jay]

He hasn't voiced that specific opinion, but made a bit of noise the
first time he (my son) stayed up late (2:30am) and told me that he
needs to go to bed at a reasonable hour and that I need to *make* him
stop playing and go outside during the day. He totally gets
unschooling; he's a bit leary about the radical parenting part. I
have some other personal issues that will be made known soon that
*may* impact how we have custody. I don't think it will, but coupled
with what he perceives as permissive parenting it might be an issue.
Depends on his mood that day, LOL.

Jay

On May 8, 11:55 am, "Schuyler Waynforth" <s.waynfo...@googlemail.com>
wrote:

> > Jay- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

[Sandra Dodd]

-=-I don't only face these sorts of difficult, painful dynamics in our homeschooling group (though, honestly, there seems to be an unusually high concentration there), but I face it at soccer, in the grocery store, anywhere there are parents and children or teachers and students. -=-

So do most of us, more in some places than others, I think.

-=-I am growing very sad, and very jaded.  Where have the loving parents gone? -=-

I've seen lots of very good examples  of people with kids in restaurants lately, at the home improvement store, and the grocery store.  I could think of some places to go if I wanted to remind myself of bad examples, but I avoid those places.

-=-If it wasn't for lists like this, and for the few *amazing* parents I've been fortunate to find and surround myself with, I'd feel it's all rather hopeless.-=-

But here's a problem:  If it weren't for lists like this,  you might be fine with doing as those other parents do, and you'd have a nicer life, in a way.  There would be a cost to your child, but you wouldn't have to feel guilty if you believed there was no choice.

That's the problem with choices.  It takes away the blamelessness of no-choice.

Women's suffrage, the women's movement, legal abortions... they change things even for those who want to ignore them.  If a woman was abused in the 1870's, that's just the way God wanted it and she tried to accept it.  There probably wasn't anywhere to go.  IIf a woman stayed with an abusive husband in the 1970's, she was choosing to do so, because women's shelters were springing up and laws were rapidly changing.

Not only am I stuck with having lost some friends over my unschooling and parenting choices, my friends are also stuck knowing that they DID have a choice and didn't have to send their kids to school and pressure them and break their spirits.

It's a social and philosophical problem.

Sandra

[Sandra Dodd]

-=Do you speak up when you see things you feel are hurtful?-=-

If it's in public and someone's hitting a child, I always speak now.  I get cussed out, but I hope the kid will remember it.  But does that create more peace in that home?  I never get to know.

 -=-Where is the fine line between overstepping a boundary and obligation to speak on behalf of kids?-=-

Sometimes when you can't decide, trade places.  How far do you want other people to speak to you about how you're "abusing and neglecting" your child by not disciplining or pressuring or schooling him?

-=-Do you participate in communities of people who don't share your principles?  If so, how do you navigate it?-=-

Sometimes.  I would try to warn my kids beforehand that some parents aren't going to let their kids play and run around, or whatever.  And we'd discuss it later, and they've had opportunities to decide how they want to be with other people, and as parents someday, and how they do not want to be.  We turned it to an educational opportunity.

Sandra

[Mar...@aol.com]

-=-Do you participate in communities of people who don't share your principles?  If so, how do you navigate it?-=-

Sometimes.  I would try to warn my kids beforehand that some parents aren't going to let their kids play and run around, or whatever.  And we'd discuss it later, and they've had opportunities to decide how they want to be with other people, and as parents someday, and how they do not want to be.  We turned it to an educational opportunity.

Sandra

****************

We are involved with people who share our principles, and also with others who do not <<G>>>

I think to live IN this world with others, since it's hard to just surround yourself with just like-minded people (for a variety of reasons), it makes the most sense to me to prepare my kids beforehand of any upcoming situation. 

Then they have more knowledge and can make informed decisions. It has also been an educational opportunity for us as well, as we can discuss how people act, why they might act that way, what would we do and why, etc. 

 

 It also has opened my kids eyes to the many differences in this world, from parenting to learning to religious beliefs. And it has enabled them to appreciate  differences, yet view everything in terms of respect. I suppose that's natural because that's how we live.

 

Situations that are negative and are not one bit joyful, we just stay away.

 

~marcia simonds
HarmonyWoodsFarm 
http://www.xanga.com/livefreeinharmony

---

Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family favorites at AOL Food.

[Betsy Hill]

Unless they've changed it, the guild is called Horde of Unschoolers.  (Go Team!)

 

Betsy

Schuyler Waynforth <s.way...@googlemail.com> wrote:

 Ask him if he's in a guild, ask him if he knows about the unschooling guild, oh, where is it? It's a Horde Guild and it is on The Venture Co. I can't remember what it is called, maybe someone else here can give more information. They get together most Friday evenings for raids, or at least that's what I hear.

-~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---

[Kornelia Mitchell]

At 12:56 PM 5/8/08 -0600, Sandra Dodd wrote:

-=Do you speak up when you see things you feel are hurtful?-=-

If it's in public and someone's hitting a child, I always speak now.  I get cussed out, but I hope the kid will remember it.  But does that create more peace in that home?  I never get to know.


 -=-Where is the fine line between overstepping a boundary and obligation to speak on behalf of kids?-=-

Sometimes when you can't decide, trade places.  How far do you want other people to speak to you about how you're "abusing and neglecting" your child by not disciplining or pressuring or schooling him?

A friend of a friend sent me an email with the following video attached;

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGoelj7l668

It's a song by comedian Anita Renfroe about all the things a mom says to her kids in a day, condensed to 3 minutes and sung to the tune of the William Tell Overture.

She found it hilarious and it appears that she's in the overwhelming majority. The song made me sad. I expect that the commonality of the mainstream parenting portrayed in the song is what makes it funny to most. I am sad for the generations after generations of children who are being raised to think this is the way kids should be treated.

The words in this video are just so far from the reality of my daughter's and my life. It's not at all the kind of relationship we have. How can we help people see that their relationship with their kids doesn't have to be adversarial? Am I the only one who's not laughing about this?

A few years ago a bunch of my business associates were laughing about a back to school ad that was running on TV. It had the parents running through the aisles at Staples (I think) and filling the cart with back to school items. They were singing "It's the most wonderful time of the year". I wanted to speak up and say something, but felt so alone in my beliefs. When I later spoke with a few associates one on one and shared my beliefs, most of them said that they really enjoy being with their kids and didn't find it funny either.

So is it just that no one is brave enough to be the first, and possibly lone, voice of dissent? If one person speaks out against laughing at our children's expense, will others chime in? Or will they just align themselves with the mob?

I want so badly to speak up and to make a difference and help improve the lives of kids. But it's so hard when up against the overwhelming majority of mainstream parents.

Kornelia
wahm mom to Aquilina '99

[Sandra Dodd]

-=-How can we help people see that their relationship with their kids
doesn't have to be adversarial? -=-

By having non-adversarial relationships, I think!

So far so good. Things are better this year than last, and LOTS
better than when my kids were little. I'm sure there are a hundred
factors, but unschooling's one of the many.

Sandra

[k]

Things are much different than when I was little in the late 60s.  Even though I don't meet as many non-adversarial parents and/or adults in the area where I am now as you would in other areas I lived, I'm more likely run into more such adults lately just in general everywhere than I used to.  Because people started becoming more easygoing in the 70s after the big cultural revolution that was the 60s.

 

~Katherine

[Sandra Dodd]

-=-people started becoming more easygoing in the 70s after the big
cultural revolution that was the 60s.-=-

I don't remember now where or who, but someone wrote that the 60's
were dead, and had had no effect on the future.
That's one of the MOST untrue, craziest things I've ever seen in my
life.

The effect of the 60's and early 70's changed just about everything.
People have choices now about how to dress, what to believe, how and
where to live, where to work, whether to be married or just live
together, whether partners have to be same-sex, whether pregnancy
means adoption or shame or bastardry... In some conservative
corners those choices still haven't been accepted, and maybe that's
where the crazy denial of change came from. I don't remember.

The cultural revolution was for real, and affected more than just the
English-speaking world, too. Rock and Roll helped universalize some
of the communications and ideas, I'm sure.

Sandra

[k]

Well if it affected no one else, it sure affected me.  ;) 

 

~Katherine

[Laureen]

Heya!

On Thu, May 8, 2008 at 9:08 PM, Kornelia Mitchell <eagl...@island.net> wrote:

So is it just that no one is brave enough to be the first, and possibly lone, voice of dissent? If one person speaks out against laughing at our children's expense, will others chime in? Or will they just align themselves with the mob?

I want so badly to speak up and to make a difference and help improve the lives of kids. But it's so hard when up against the overwhelming majority of mainstream parents.

Here's something that happened to me:
http://theexcellentadventure.com/elementalmom/2007/09/03/open-letter-to-a-fellow-mom/
 

I take that woman's tack now. When I see a "situation", I try to slide in and ask the parent "wow, you look overwhelmed, can I help?". I can't tell you how many times I've been met with tears of gratitude on the part of the parent, and a complete attitude shift. I had one woman, on the verge of smacking her child, hand me her grocery list, swoop outside with him, and I finished her shopping for her. Cause I could. She and the boy sat outside together while she got it together. And they were both smiling again when I went out to tell her I was done.

I think sometimes it's hard to know if someone is really a brute, or is just at the end of their rope and unsupported. Course once you know... you can adjust appropriately.

--
~~L!

~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~
Writing here:
http://www.theexcellentadventure.com/

Evolving here:
http://www.consciouswoman.org/
~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~ ~ * ~

[Pamela Sorooshian]

On May 9, 2008, at 6:41 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:

> -=-How can we help people see that their relationship with their kids
> doesn't have to be adversarial? -=-
>
> By having non-adversarial relationships, I think!

And it will have a ripple effect, through generations to come.

My girls are all the age where they think about marriage and mothering
- 17, 20, 23. They watch moms with their children a lot. They pay
attention. And they are TRULY puzzled about why parents act as they do
when it is so completely and totally obvious (to my girls) that so
many common parenting choices are counter to the best interests of the
children and parents. There is no going back. My girls just will not
have it in them to have strict rules and restrictions and they will
focus on being a support to their children, not on controlling them.

-pam

[k]

I think it even has a ripple effect from the children to unschooling parents, who, most of us, after all weren't raised in that way and don't have the same perspectives.    Ds is says a lot of things that make me stop and think.... and have these great "aha" moments.

Some puzzles are simple to solve once they're gone about the right way, and they can be such boogers when we're without a clue.

~Katherine

[Bunny]

I formed a Pokemon Club instead, outside of class hours, so the kids
could do both. That sort of opportunity-seeking thinking seems to
make them very uneasy, and yet so far no one has given me direct
orders to stop. I do read between the lines but I'm not creating it
to be confrontational, I'm creating the club because my son wants to
play pokemon with other kids.

Hi Laura,
I'm new to this group but I just started a homeschool play group
in CT and was interested in your experiences. I don't see anything
wrong with what you did, in fact it reminds me about an experience I
had in a public "magnet" school where I was asked to lead an
afterschool group.
My main question is, where are you located? There are not many HS
groups in my part of CT, as far as I can tell, everyone I knew has
kids old enough for college now. Time flies when you're changing
diapers :)
I have been very sheltered, I guess. I am not really a social
person, I formed this group to meet at a playground on the 4th Wed of
the month so my kids can meet other HS kids. Other than a family at
Cub Scouts, I don't know any other HS families. I did list my group as
open to all creeds, religions and philosophies on HS. I feel I can
learn something from everyone. I have to admit the we have some
workbooks that the kids asked for and we rotate doing them with the
projects that the kis dream up. I don't feel that being all
"unschooling" or all "any other way" would suit my kids well. And as
you have pointed out, we are HS to meet the needs and desires of our
kids, as well as to spend more time with them. I knew I needed to HS
when I put the kids on the bus, and then went to school to volunteer
because I MISSED THEM!
Happy belated Mother's day to all moms out in Cyberspace!
Bunny