The Beauty and the Deceased

[The Jokester]

Have a Look at This Joke & Matching Picture at www.thejokester.net

The Latest Joke:

The Beauty and the Deceased

An Explanation! A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'   Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:   I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.   Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.   We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.  The Nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.   And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.   Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'   So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.   Later that night! He hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.   He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.   So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.     Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see s his father in bed with the nanny.   He gives up and goes back to bed.   The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.   The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'   The little boy replies, 'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.'     Recent Quotes "Are you kidding me, the mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? Yeah, that's who you want in the White House during a time of crisis. When she got a phone call at 3 in the morning, it was because a moose had gotten in the garbage can." –Bill Maher   "I think this is pertinent because McCain has been running this campaign based on 'we're at war, it's a dangerous world out there. The democrats don't get that. I John McCain am the only one standing between the blood-thirsty Al Qaedas and you. But if I die, this stewardess can handle it.'" –Bill Maher   "Five kids? Does anyone in that party understand the concept of pulling out?" –Bill Maher   "When they were vetting her for this job, like three seconds ago, she said, quote, I'm not making this up, 'What is it exactly that the VP does every day?' Let me field that for you, Sarah. They start wars, they enrich their friends, they subvert the Constitution, and they shoot people in the face. That's what the vice president does." –Bill Maher   "Today President Bush called Gov. Palin and congratulated her. Bush told Palin the job of vice president is very impor­tant because as vice president, you get to tell the president what to do." –Jay Leno   "John McCain's VP pick is the governor of Alaska, an unknown hockey mom named Sarah Palin that no one ever heard of. The only other job she had in politics was the mayor of a small town known as Wasilla, Alaska, and now she has the opportunity to be on a ticket opposite of Barack Obama, the first black man she's ever seen." –Bill Maher   "This isn't a presidential ticket, this is a sitcom. The maverick and the MILF." –Bill Maher   "There was some breaking news out of Dayton, Ohio today, where Republican presidential candidate John McCain in­troduced the world to his third wife." –Jon Stewart   "She's not bad looking. She looks like one of those women in the Van Halen videos who takes off her glasses, shakes out her hair, and then all of a sudden, she's in high heels and a bikini. All of a sudden, I am FOR drilling in Alaska." --Jimmy Kimmel   "Not only is she young, they're saying she's the prettiest candidate for Vice President since John Edwards." --Jimmy Kimmel   "Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is John McCain's choice. Here's what we know about her: her name is Sarah Palin." --Jay Leno   "Actually, it was kind of a smart choice. McCain went with a woman because he didn't want to have to be in a position to have to get CPR from Mitt Romney." –Jay Leno   "Palin and McCain are a good pair. She's pro-life and he's clinging to life." –Jay Leno   "The McCain people believe that Americans will disregard her inexperience because they will fall in love with her story. She was a runner up in the 1984 Miss Alaska Pageant., which may sound trite, but you try walking in high-heeled snow shoes." –Bill Maher   "And the trump card, why Americans will fall in love with her, she's got five kids. How can you not vote for someone who has five children, including an infant? Some touching details about the infant: it has Downes Syndrome, she had it when she was 43 years old, and it looks a lot like John Edwards." –Bill Maher   "Sarah Palin, she's getting ready for tomorrow's debate, too. I understand she now knows all three branches of gov­ernment." --Jay Leno   Well, some people think Sarah Palin took a swipe at Joe Biden's age when she said that she had been listening to Bi­den's speeches since the second grade. Which is kind of ironic, because Biden has been listening to McCain's speeches since he was in the second grade." --Jay Leno   "See, you've got to admit, Sarah Palin does look great when they walk out, but that's causing a problem for McCain now. In fact, now they call the ticket 'Beauty and the Deceased.'" --Jay Leno   Here's some good news. The government is talking about stimulus checks again. The bad news?  We're the ones that are writing them." --Jay Leno   "But tomorrow night is the vice presidential debate, also known as the debate to nowhere." --David Letterman   "But don't kid yourself. This is for all the marbles, this debate tomorrow night. And Sarah Palin is nothing if not dili­gent. She's working hard on preparing for the debate with Joe Biden. Earlier today in Arizona we just heard that she shot a donkey." --David Letterman   "Earlier today, John McCain and Sarah Palin introduced a new 'just say no' program. McCain told Sarah Palin, 'If a re­porter asks you any questions, just say no!'" --Jay Leno   I think this unprecedented financial crisis is great news for George Bush. Now this will be the president's lasting leg­acy! It will cover up all the things that were going to be his legacy! I mean, just think of Iraq, torture, wiretapping, Katrina as little paint drips on the floor of his presidency. This financial disaster is like painting the whole floor! Now I don't see any mistakes. It really freshens the place up. Now, sure people in New Orleans' ninth word still don't have houses. But soon neither will anyone." --Stephen Colbert   "Did you all watch the presidential debate Friday night? You know, a lot of analysts were calling it a tie; they say nei­ther man stumbled. That's how low the bar is now. Apparently not stumbling is considered a huge accomplishment in politics. He didn't stumble, fantastic!" --Jay Leno   PS: If you have Republican counters, forward on! The Jokester is nothing but an equal opportunity pundit!

Feel Free To Submit Some Of Your Favorite Jokes

Help My Joke List Grow:  Invite friends and family at  Google Groups (suggested, most advertisement free), Yahoo Groups or www.thejokester.net If you got this email from a friend,  why not sign-up and get the jokes straight from the Jokester’s key­board?