Engender Gender

[The Jokester]

	From the Jokester	Help the Jokester’s eMail List Grow, forward the Jokester’s Jokeletter to your friends and ask them to sign up to be a Jokester!
		Have a Look at This Joke & Matching Picture at www.thejokester.net
Gender You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.  For example...   1) Ziploc Bags- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.   2) Copiers- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.   3) Tire- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.   4) Hot Air Balloon- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.   5) Sponges- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.   6) Web Page- Female, because it's always getting hit on.   7) Subway- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.   8) Hourglass- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.   9) Hammer- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.   10) Remote Control- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male.  But consider this-it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.     More Gender Definitions   1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.    a.   female: Any part under a car's hood.    b.   male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.   2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.    a.   female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to  another.    b. male: Playing football without a  jockstrap.   3. COMMUNICATION  (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon)    a. female: The open  sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.    b. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking  off for a weekend with the boys.   4. BUTT (but)  n.    a. female: The body part that every item  of clothing manufactured  makes "look bigger."    b. male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown,          home run or goal.   Also good  for mooning.   5. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n    a.   female: A desire to get married and raise a family.    b. male: Not trying to pick up other women while out  with one's girlfriend.   6. ENTERTAINMENT  (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.    a. female: A good movie,  concert, play or book.    b. male: Anything  that can be done while drinking.   7. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.    a. female: An  embarrassing by-product of digestion.    b. male: An endless source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding.   8. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv)  n.    a. female: The greatest statement of  intimacy a couple can achieve.    b. male:   Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.   9. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl)  n.    a. female: A device for changing from one  TV channel to another.    b. male: A device  for scanning through all 175 channels every 2  minutes.     Computer Gender? A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like "chalk" or "pencil" have a gender association, although in English these words are neutral.   Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and divided the class into two groups; one group all male, the other all female.   They were to decide which gender should be applied to "computer" and give four reasons for their decision.   The results:   The group of women concluded computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:   1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.   The group of men decided computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory banks. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Feel Free To Submit Some Of Your Favorite Jokes
See This Joke & Matching Picture at: www.TheJokester.net
Help My Joke List Grow:  Invite friends and family at  Google Groups (suggested, most advertisement free), Yahoo Groups or www.thejokester.net If you got this email from a friend, why not sign-up and get the jokes straight from the Jokester’s keyboard?

All the Best: Your Often Misguided Humorist and Joke Moderator,

The Jokester {aka Dan the Man}.

Subscription Information:

ü  Jokes are customarily sent 3 - 5 times per week covering a range of hopefully (?) humorous subjects!

ü  Just remember, don't blame the messenger: I only send the jokes, I don't write them.

ü  To unsubscribe see the instructions below or send me an email (be sure to tell me which group you joined).

ü  But Wait! Before you unsubscribe, stop and think about it. Have you given the jokes enough time? The occasional bad joke is to be expected. Hang in there, maybe the next joke will make your day!?!?