Making Love

[The Jokester]

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Making Love

The Gambler Michael was feeling ill at work and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Sandra in the arms of another man.   He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you got to be making love to my wife?"   The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love with Sandra and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a gambler.   Why don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?"   "Okay," replied Michael, "but just to make it a little more interesting, why don't we play for a dollar a point?"     The Sensitive Man A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving to­gether. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.   There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cud­dly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immedi­ately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and ac­tually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.   They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds her­self thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?' She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.   They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love    She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, and more heat than she has ever known, and even did a few things she had never done with any other man.   After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well, how was it?' The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says......................    'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'     In a T-Shirt She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the T-shirt that she normally slept in.   As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'   My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.'   Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all, right there on the kitchen table.   Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.   A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'    She explained, 'The egg timer is broken'   Texan Lover A Frenchman, an Italian, and a Texan were discussing lovemaking.   "Last night I made love to my wife three times," boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning."   "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love an­other man."   When the Texan remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"   "Once," he replied.   "Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted.   "What did she say to you this morning?" asked the Italian.   "Don't stop," said the Texan.

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