Updated Economic Lessons

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Oct 12, 2008, 6:08:55 PM10/12/08
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                Updated Economic Lessons
Monkeys for Sale Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.' The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again, only monkeys everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works. What to Do When Riding a Dead Horse? The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following: Buying a stronger whip. Changing riders. Threatening the horse with termination. Appointing a committee to study the horse. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included. Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse. Creating a training session to increase the rider's load share. Re-classifying the dead horse as living-impaired. Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead." Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its original cost. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance. Do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position. Interesting Lessons to Learn... An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you ?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you ?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc......" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the Americans and asked what kind of '-key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I ?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee ?" Lesson : Never insult anyone. There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a Frenchman, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The Frenchman wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next was the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last was the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........." Lesson: Think twice before you say something, but sometimes accidents do happen. A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen, said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." Lesson learnt: - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything. A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the manager thoughtfully."And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?" Lesson Learnt - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.
Monkeys for Sale Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.' The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again, only monkeys everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works. What to Do When Riding a Dead Horse? The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following: Buying a stronger whip. Changing riders. Threatening the horse with termination. Appointing a committee to study the horse. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included. Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse. Creating a training session to increase the rider's load share. Re-classifying the dead horse as living-impaired. Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead." Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its original cost. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance. Do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position. Interesting Lessons to Learn... An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you ?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you ?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc......" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the Americans and asked what kind of '-key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I ?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee ?" Lesson : Never insult anyone. There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a Frenchman, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The Frenchman wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next was the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last was the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........." Lesson: Think twice before you say something, but sometimes accidents do happen. A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen, said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." Lesson learnt: - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything. A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the manager thoughtfully."And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?" Lesson Learnt - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.
Monkeys for Sale Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.' The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again, only monkeys everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works. What to Do When Riding a Dead Horse? The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following: Buying a stronger whip. Changing riders. Threatening the horse with termination. Appointing a committee to study the horse. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included. Appointing an intervention team to re-animate the dead horse. Creating a training session to increase the rider's load share. Re-classifying the dead horse as living-impaired. Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead." Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its original cost. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance. Do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position. Interesting Lessons to Learn... An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you ?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you ?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc......" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the Americans and asked what kind of '-key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I ?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee ?" Lesson : Never insult anyone. There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a Frenchman, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The Frenchman wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next was the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last was the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........." Lesson: Think twice before you say something, but sometimes accidents do happen. A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen, said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." Lesson learnt: - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything. A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the manager thoughtfully."And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?" Lesson Learnt - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.

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