Verse 1: All of the true things that I am about to tell you are
shameless lies.
Verses 2-4: In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon
it in His cosmic loneliness.

And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can
see what We have done." And God created every living creature that now
moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close
as mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. "What is
the purpose of all this?" he asked politely.

"Everything must have a purpose?" asked God.

"Certainly," said man.

"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God.

And He went away.