Copyright 2008 by Chuck Shepherd.  All rights reserved.

Lead Story

* In February, a Mississippi judge released two convicted rapists of
children, who had each been in prison for more than 12 years,
based on DNA.  The men had been convicted primarily by the "bite
mark" analysis of since-discredited dentist Dr. Michael West, who
used iridescent lights and yellow goggles to demonstrate that
scratches on the victims were bites by the two men.  Subsequent
independent analysis identified the scratches as scratches, perhaps
even made by West himself, according to a director of the
Innocence Project.  West is a favorite colleague of medical
examiner Steven Hayne, who seems always to find evidence of
guilt of anyone charged by district attorney Forrest Allgood,
according to a Reason magazine investigation.  West's bite
"technology," in particular, has been widely ridiculed by forensic
professionals. [Clarion-Ledger (Jackson), 2-15-08, 2-14-08;
Slate.com, 2-20-08]

The Continuing Crisis

* A 25-year-old woman was arrested for assault in Bremerton,
Wash., in December after fighting with her boyfriend in the shower
over whether the man's dog could join them.  The woman objected
and said the arrangement would be a deal-breaker for their
relationship, to which the boyfriend replied that he hoped his next
girlfriend would appreciate the dog more.  At that, according to
police, she punched him several times in the face, and in their
struggle, he dislocated his shoulder. [KOMO Radio-AP (Seattle),
12-28-07]

* Female Muslim medical students at several hospitals in Britain
are objecting to a campaign that demands more rigorous hand-
washing (to stop the spread of dangerous bacteria), complaining
that being forced to bare their forearms above the wrist is
immodesty prohibited by their religion.  Doctors cited in a
February Daily Telegraph story said washing up to the elbow is
crucial for safety.  Some women at Birmingham University said
they would change careers rather than comply. [Daily Telegraph
(London), 2-4-08]

* In January, the state medical board in Sydney, Australia,
admonished psychiatrist Yolande Lucire for testifying in a court
case about her belief that Ritalin and similar drugs had produced
residual organic hallucinosis in children that might explain their
violence later in life.  The board said it disagreed with her and
ordered Lucire to make an appointment with a senior psychiatrist
for therapy, to help her deal with her problem of making
unconventional diagnoses. [Sydney Morning Herald, 1-27-08]

Yikes!

* In early January, when a national deep freeze extended even to
the Florida Keys, iguanas fell into their natural hibernation-like
torpor, and some compassionate Floridians, unaccustomed to
seeing iguanas that appeared nearly dead, took them indoors to
warm them up, which is a mistake.  The owner of the veterinary
clinic in Marathon said one "sweet lady" called him about the five-
footer she had dragged inside.  "When it woke up," said the vet,
"she couldn't understand why it seemed to be coming after her."
"When they warm up, they go back to being a wild animal."
[Keynoter (Key West), 1-7-08]

* Construction worker Brian Persuad's malpractice lawsuit is
scheduled for trial in March against the New York-
Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Hospital based on a 2003 incident in
which he was taken there (after being clobbered on the head by a
plank at work) and given a rectal exam.  Persaud was alert when
informed of the imminent exam, but then went nuts resisting the
doctor and was sedated so that the test could be performed.  The
doctor defended the exam, citing the need to check for spinal cord
injury. [San Francisco Chronicle-AP, 1-16-08]

* Since at least the early 1990s, trillions of discarded plastic items
have converged, held together by swirling currents, to form the
Great Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch that now covers an area twice
the size of the United States and weighs about 100 million tons.
"Every little piece of plastic manufactured in the past 50 years that
made it into the ocean is still out there," said one researcher quoted
in a February dispatch in London's The Independent.  An
oceanographer predicted that the Patch would double in size in just
the next decade.  A 2006 United Nations office estimated that
every square mile of oceans contains, on average, 46,000 pieces of
floating plastic. [The Independent (London), 2-5-08]

CSI: Cats

* (1) Luis Jimenez, 24, was arrested in Austin, Tex., in January and
charged with having child pornography that police say he left
behind when he moved.  The subsequent tenant has a cat, which, in
the process of exploring the new digs got caught in a gap between a
pantry and a ceiling where the DVD's had been hidden.  (2) Police
testifying in the murder trial of David Henton, 72, in Swansea,
Wales, in January said they made recordings (in his home, with
hidden microphones) of Henton confessing to killing his long-time
domestic partner.  Since Henton lives alone, the wordy confessions
were apparently to his cats, to whom he spoke frequently about a
range of matters. [Austin American-Statesman, 1-25-08] [BBC
News, 1-16-08]

No Longer Weird

* Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which
now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from
circulation: (87) The person arrested for drunk-driving who decides
to contest the charge but is drunk again when arriving in court, as
was Joseph Longfellow, 35, who blew a .32 blood-alcohol reading
(four times the state driving limit) ordered by the Redmond, Wash.,
judge. (88) People who live in airports, like Iranian Merhan
Nasseri, who lived at Paris's Charles de Gaulle airport for 18 years
because of passport problems and who inspired the Tom Hanks
film "The Terminal" (and among others, Anthony Delaney, who
was arrested at London's Gatwick airport in February after nearly
four years' residence). [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 2-13-08] [The
GuardiaFebruary 29, 2008n (London), 2-20-08]

Least Competent Criminals

* A 16-year-old boy was arrested in Toronto in February after he
emerged from a CIBC bank with about $150,000 (Cdn) stuffed in a
sack.  Despite numerous Hollywood movies emphasizing the need
for speed in a bank robbery, the kid had dawdled inside for more
than 45 minutes after the silent alarm had been pressed, collecting
cash not only from the vault and tellers, but from customers, and
by the time he walked out, the bank was surrounded by cops.
[Toronto Star, 2-27-08]

* Pat Dykstra, 51, of Fox Lake, Wis., was persuaded by bar
patrons, including her boyfriend, that she was too drunk to drive
and so took responsibility by calling 911 from her truck to ask that
the sheriff send someone to follow her home, according to a
January Milwaukee Journal Sentinel story.  (Dykstra then ended
the call by telling the dispatcher how dangerous it is to drive while
on the phone.)  When deputies caught up to Dykstra, she registered
a .14 blood-alcohol reading, well over the maximum permitted.
[Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 1-29-08]

Update

* In February, televangelist Jim Bakker (who lost his Praise The
Lord ministry in the 1980s in fraud convictions that led to a five-
year prison stint) began broadcasting from Morningside, his new
religious development in southern Missouri that bears a strong
resemblance to PTL's Heritage USA project.  According to a
February report in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, "hundreds" of
Heritage contributors ponied up this time, too, and despite the fact
that each lost 99 percent of the value of their $1,000 investments,
some even signed over their $6.54 restitution checks (following the
fraud settlement) to Bakker's new venture.  The newspaper,
observing Bakker's debut from the new studio, noted that the first
appeal for donations did not come until 41 minutes into the show.
[St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 2-17-08]

Undignified Deaths

* In a spectacular one-car wipe-out along an airstrip near Ocala,
Fla., on January 26th, five young men were killed when their
supercharged BMW M5 left the road at at least 120 mph, sailed
200 feet, and smashed into a tree.  In the days after, visitors to an
Internet forum of M5 drivers recalled a question posed on a
message board on January 25th from an 18-year-old seeking advice
about handling the car when shifting gears at super-fast speeds.  He
signed on only as "Josh," which is the first name of the 18-year-old
driver killed on the airstrip. [Gainesville Sun, 2-5-08; Lakeland
Ledger, 1-29-08]

     Thanks This Week to Gary Goldberg, Steve Passen, Ian
Pert, Saul Gonzalez, Stephen Taylor, H.Thompson, Ann Forbes,
and Michael Cisneros, and to the News of the Weird Board of
Editorial Advisors.

                  * * * * *
     Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com (or
www.NewsoftheWeird.com / WeirdNewsT...@Yahoo.com / P.O.
Box 18737, Tampa FL 33629).