News of the Weird, April 20, 2008
Minister Chuck
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Lawyer confidentiality rules kept one man improperly on death
row for 10 years and a probably-innocent man in prison for 26,
according to news that surfaced in January (Virginia) and March
(Illinois). Daryl Atkins (originally sentenced to death in 1997) was
the victim of probable prosecutorial misconduct, according to his
co-defendant's lawyer, Leslie Smith, who said he witnessed the
misconduct but could not report it because a lesser sentence for
Atkins would have exposed his own client to greater punishment.
In Illinois, Alton Logan was convicted of a murder during a 1982
robbery. However, shortly afterward, Andrew Wilson admitted to
his lawyers that he was the murderer, but the rule prohibited them
from revealing that. When Wilson died in 2007, the lawyers
finally spoke, and Logan's case has been re-opened. [New York
Times, 1-19-08] [CBS News, 3-6-08]
The Aristocrats!
* (1) Mayor Art Madrid of La Mesa, Calif., apologized in February
for an incident the week before when police found him, along with
a female city employee, passed out about 10:30 p.m. Madrid was
lying on the sidewalk near an SUV; the woman was in the driver's
seat with her legs sticking out the open door; and vomit littered the
area. (2) A patient reporting for an appointment with dentist
Norman Rubin in Smithtown, N.Y., in March told the New York
Post that Rubin was in the otherwise-empty office, passed out,
drooling, with a gas mask on his face. (Rubin later told the Post, in
defense, that it was, after all, his lunch hour.) [San Diego Union
Tribune, 2-27-08] [New York Post, 3-20-08]
The Continuing Crisis
* Dirk Opalka (whose fox scored 96 of 100 possible points) won
best in show at the World Taxidermy Championships in February
in Salzburg, Austria, beating over 100 competitors in the art of
stretching animal skin over fake bodies so the critters look better
than they ever looked alive. The attention to detail was
astonishing, according to a dispatch in Der Spiegel, on such
features as a stag's nostrils, a hyena's lips, a hamster's whiskers,
the neck length of a female peregrine falcon (precisely 5.5 cm), and
the proper rosiness of the bat's anus. [Der Spiegel, 2-29-08]
* In March, the Tokyo High Court reversed the conviction of pin-
up model Serena Kozakura, who had been found guilty of kicking
a hole in the door of her former boyfriend's apartment so she could
break in and scream at him. Kozakura had appealed, claiming that
the man had made the hole, himself, and as evidence, explained
that she could never have squeezed through it, anyway, because her
breasts are too big. That argument apparently won the day,
creating enough "reasonable doubt" to overturn the verdict.
[Agence France-Presse, 3-4-08]
* Two German air force sergeants were suspended in December
after being caught in a side venture selling sausages based on an
old family recipe requiring human blood. Their first batches were
made with their own, but as they began mass-producing, they had
allegedly asked their colleagues since, according to instructions
from one of the men's grandmothers, the blood must always be
"fresh." "Do not use too many breadcrumbs," she had written,
"but if the blood starts to curdle, stir in a teaspoon of wine
vinegar." [Daily Telegraph (London), 3-3-08]
* Court documents revealed in March that federal judge Eduardo
Robreno had fined New York mortgage banker Aaron Wider
$29,000 for using variations of the "F word" 73 times (thus, about
$367 per usage) during a contentious deposition he was giving in a
lawsuit brought by GMAC Bank. [The Legal Intelligencer
(Philadelphia), 3-5-08]
* Several psychotherapists told the New York Times in February
that treatments are being developed for people who are excessively
worried about their own carbon emissions being responsible for
"global warming." More that 120 therapists are now listed as
specialists in the field on Ecopsychology.org, and schools such as
Lewis & Clark College in Portland, Ore., have created courses on
counseling such patients. [New York Times, 2-16-08]
Family Values
* Sheila and Paul Garcia of Northfleet, England, acknowledged to
London's Daily Mail in February that they invited their 16-year-old
daughter's boyfriend to come live with her in her bedroom, despite
the fact that he is 36 and divorced, with one child. The parents
said they weren't thrilled with the situation but that it was
preferable to the daughter's running away with the man. [Daily
Mail (London), 2-27-08]
* Cutting-Edge Parenting: (1) Sheriff's deputies in the Orlando
area were on the lookout in March for two women who, according
to surveillance video from the Magical Car Wash, had pulled into a
stall and deposited coins but then proceeded only to scold and then
pressure-wash a small child. (2) Aron Pritchard, 27, was convicted
of child endangerment in March in Hutchinson, Kan., after a jury
declined to accept his explanation for his girlfriend's kids, age 2
and 3, being burned in a hot clothes dryer. He said he was just
trying to show them they could have fun without necessarily
spending any money. [CFNews13.com (Bright House cable), 3-6-
08] [KWCH-TV (Wichita), 3-10-08]
Least Competent Criminals
* Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Two boys, 12 and 14, were
quickly arrested in Port St. Lucie, Fla., in March when they tried to
rob a woman who was working at a counter behind protective glass
in an office, by picking up the convenience phone and threatening
her, implying that he had a gun. The woman was in no danger, of
course, because of the protective glass, but besides that, the place
they had chosen for the hit was a regional office of the Port St.
Lucie police department. (2) Donald Baker, 51, was re-arrested in
March in Peterborough, Ontario, when he called the police
department to request a wake-up call for his court appearance the
next morning; amazed at his audacity, they ran a records check and
found an additional arrest warrant on him.[Port St. Lucie News, 3-
13-08] [Peterborough This Week, 3-17-08]
Updates
* News of the Weird cited a police report last May that an
unidentified man in Guelph, Ontario, had committed at least three
incidents of approaching women and asking to be kicked in the
groin. After seven such incidents, Jarrett Loft, 28, pleaded guilty
in March 2008 to one count and was sentenced to 60 days in jail.
Loft offered no explanation for his behavior, other than that he was
"curious." One victim, saying that she feared what Loft might do if
she refused, repeatedly kicked him between the legs, after which he
thanked her and rode off on his bicycle. [Guelph Mercury, 3-29-08]
* Good Friday in the Philippines town of San Pedro Cutud has
meant, for over 20 years, that two dozen men will line up to be
nailed to a wooden cross for a few minutes each to mark their
penitence for sins of the previous year (although this year, the
government issued an advisory recommending getting tetanus shots
and using only sterile nails). Ruben Enaje, 47, was first in line
once again (the 22nd time in 23 years that he has been crucified)
and, once again, screamed in agony for five minutes at the six-inch
nails driven into both palms and both feet while he lay on the cross.
Before the crucifixions, dozens of other men punished themselves
by whipping their backs bloody, using bamboo rods. [Agence
France-Presse, 3-21-08, 3-19-08]
Undignified Deaths
* (1) A 76-year-old Baptist minister was found dead in Clarksville,
Tenn., in March after he had tried to pull a goat back into a fenced-
in area of his property; apparently, the goat had resisted the slip
knot, and somehow the animal's jumping had wound the rope
around the minister's feet and neck, and he had begun to turn blue
by the time his wife found him. (2) The day before that, an 82-
year-old man in Lake Hallie, Wis., was killed when he apparently
slipped while using a plumber's auger on his septic tank and fell in,
head first, eventually drowning. [Leaf Chronicle (Clarksville), 3-
19-08] [WCCO-TV (Minneapolis)-AP, 3-18-08]
Thanks This Week to Jeremy Hamilton, Geoff Belander,
Scott Schrier, Michael Ravnitzky, Bruce Alter, Dwayne James, and
Brent Grahn, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial
Advisors.
* * * * *
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com (or
www.NewsoftheWeird.com / WeirdN...@Yahoo.com / P.O.
Box 18737, Tampa FL 33629).