News of the Weird, August 10, 2008
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Brother Cesare Bonizzi, 62, of a Capuchin Friars monastery near
Milan, Italy, is the lead singer in a heavy metal band that recently
released its second album, Misteri ("Mysteries"), following a
successful performance at Italy's "Gods of Metal" festival
(headlined by Iron Maiden and, ironically, Judas Priest). On stage,
the white-flowing-bearded Brother Cesare booms out gritty but
non-proselytizing lyrics while wearing his traditional brown robe.
He told BBC News in July that his superiors have never interfered
with his sideline and that he plans to send a copy of the new album
to the Pope. "He's a music lover, and metal is music." [BBC News,
7-18-08]
The Entrepreneurial Spirit!
* High Point University (just south of Greensboro, N.C.) is not
quite Club Med ("Club Ed," it was called by the Chronicle of
Higher Education) but provides free ice cream for students, a hot
tub in the middle of campus, wake-up calls, and a concierge
service, all run by a campus "director of WOW," whose job it is to
thrill the "clients" and attract new ones. This is the strategy of
president Nido Qubein, a motivational speaker and "customer
comes first" businessman, and so far, enrollment is way up (even at
higher tuition), new construction is transforming the campus, and
$100 million is in the bank. [Chronicle of Higher Education, 7-4-
08]
* Challenging New Products: (1) stilettos for toddlers (though,
with soft heels), from Bellevue, Wash., designer Britta Bacon,
selling recently in Toronto for $39.95 (Cdn) a pair; and (2) a
rotating ice cream cone on which the scoop gently revolves
counter-clockwise, so that lazy people merely stick their tongues
out and need not actively lick (sold by Kitchen Craft in the UK).
[The Star (Toronto), 6-13-08] [Daily Telegraph (London), 6-10-08]
Leading Economic Indicators
* The U.S. government's $100 billion stimulus distributed to
taxpayers this spring achieved mixed results, according to
economists, but at least the Internet pornography industry
flourished (according to a July trade association spokesman).
Adult Internet Market Research Company reported that "20 to 30
percent" of "adult" websites reported that sales rose during the time
checks were being issued. However, Nevada brothels were
suffering, even though Hof's Bunny Ranch ran a stimulus-check
special: Hand over your $600 check and get the usual $1,200
"party" ("three girls and a bottle of champagne"). [AIMR press
release, 7-2-08] [Newsweek, 6-16-08]
* A July Los Angeles Times investigation revealed that
professional fundraisers keep so much of the money donated to
charity by conscientious, generous-minded people that 430
different California charities over the last 10 years got not one
penny of the contributions. In fact, in 337 cases, the charity paid
an additional fee on top of getting nothing back (but did come
away with the donors' names and addresses, for further
solicitation). Philanthropy watchdogs say fundraisers should never
keep more than 35 cents on the dollar, but the Times found the
overall average was 54 cents, and for missing-children charities,
fundraisers kept 86 cents. (Fundraisers for an organization called
Citizens Against Government Waste kept 94 cents.). [Los Angeles
Times, 7-6-08]
Frontiers of Science
* A 10-year-old British boy had such a severe obsessive-
compulsive disorder that he was overwrought with guilt that he had
caused the September 11th World Trade Center attacks, in that he
had not been able that day to make his ritual step upon a particular
mark in the street. Writing in June in the journal Neurocase,
psychologists at University College London said the boy recovered
only when they convinced him that the attacks had already started
by the time he would have made his usual step. [Daily Telegraph
(London), 6-28-08]
* Many nations are exploring how to curb cattle's release of the
greenhouse gas methane, including altering cows' diets to reduce
flatulence (which requires monitoring the gas compositions from
the old and new diets). To collect the gas for measurement
(according to a July report in London's Daily Telegraph),
researchers at Argentina's National Institute of Agricultural
Technology rigged a large plastic tank to the cow's back, with a
tube to the backside to directly capture each emission. (The
alternative, researchers pointed out, would require a human to
follow a cow around with plastic bags.) [Daily Telegraph
(London), 7-9-08]
* Higher-Order Animal Research: (1) Britain's Sea Life Centre
announced a study in July that would give octopuses Rubik's Cubes
to play with, to ascertain whether they use a certain tentacle for
such activities, or any tentacle at random. (2) Writing in the
journal Nature in July, a team of University of Oregon biologists
showed that roundworms do "calculus"-type computations, using
chemosensory neurons, to determine how to find food or avoid
trouble. [Daily Mail (London), 7-7-08] [Science Daily, 7-3-08]
One Obsessive American
* Sam Bloomfield, 58, grew up poor on Tonga but arrived here in
1976 and says he has tried to show his gratitude ever since,
according to a July 4th profile in his hometown Herald of Everett,
Wash. He has tattooed "God Bless America" under his left eye,
"Land of the Free" under his right eye, and a large "USA." across
his forehead, and last year underwent another 15 painful hours with
the needle to cover the rest of his face with stars and stripes
resembling an American flag so that he can toast his beloved
country in the mirror every morning. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer-
Everett Herald, 7-4-08]
Least Competent Corrections Department
* In July, convicted drug dealer Marcus Anderson opened the door
of the Corrections Department van taking him to court, climbed
out, and walked away, into downtown Baltimore, Md. It was an
ordinary van without a prisoner cage and whose driver had no gun,
handcuffs, phone, or radio (because Anderson had arrived late at
the pick-up point for the regular prisoner van). An exasperated
Judge Charles Bernstein later asked whether the driver had given
him bus tokens, too. "If I were a young enterprising criminal," said
the judge, "I'd come to Baltimore to set up my practice. This is the
place to be. This is the Promised Land." [Baltimore Sun, 7-3-08]
Update
* "Brain fingerprinting," reported in News of the Weird in 2000
and 2003 from the experimental work by former Harvard research
associate Lawrence Farwell, achieved a breakthrough in July in
India, when two murder suspects were convicted based in part on
that technology. Though Farwell's theory is somewhat different,
the "Brain Electrical Oscillation Signature" used in Mumbai
operates on a similar principle, that a different brain area activates
when one recalls an actual experience than when one recalls
something he merely learned about. Thus, in the India cases,
neurologists concluded that the defendants either were present at
the murder scene or had actually looked for or transported the
murder weapon (and not that they had just read or been told about
those facts). [The Times of India, 7-21-08]
News That Sounds Like a Joke
* (1) After complaints by neighbors, police went to an apartment in
Framingham, Mass., in July to quell a raucous screaming match
between two women who, it turns out, are deaf. (2) In Crawley,
England, in July, police were called to a supermarket to break up a
fight between two grandmothers, who were ramming each other in
their mobility scooters. [MetroWest Daily News (Framingham), 7-
15-08] [Daily Telegraph (London), 7-10-08]
The Aristocrats!
* (1) Donald Seigfried, 55, and Diane Whalen, 54, were arrested in
in June and face several charges based on the more than 200
homemade videos police found featuring Whalen having sex with
various dogs. Police were alerted after Whalen's son found the
evidence of his mom in action. (2) In June, a woman, walking in a
parking lot near Fort Walton Beach, Fla., with her two children,
was nearly struck by a car but gently approached the driver to let
her know the kids were unhurt. Inexplicably, the driver erupted,
and when the woman tried to calm her by offering her a church
brochure, the furious driver grabbed it, pulled her own pants down,
and, according to a police report, "wipe[d] her female anatomy"
with it (as the mother shielded her children's eyes). [The
Oklahoman, 6-26-08] [Northwest Florida Daily News, 6-10-08]
Thanks This Week to John Holsinger, Kathryn Wood, Ron
Phillips, Wes Jones, and Mark Logan, and to the News of the
Weird Senior Advisors (Jenny T. Beatty, Paul Di Filippo, Geoffrey
Egan, Ginger Katz, Joe Littrell, Matt Mirapaul, Paul Music, Karl
Olson, and Jim Sweeney) and the News of the Weird Editorial
Advisors (Paul Blumstein, John Cieciel, Harry Farkas, Fritz
Gritzner, Herb Jue, Emory Kimbrough, Scott Langill, Steve Miller,
Christopher Nalty, Mark Neunder, Bob Pert, Larry Ellis Reed, Rob
Snyder, Bruce Townley, and Jerry Whittle).
* * * * *
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net (or www.NewsoftheWeird.com) or
mail Weir...@earthlink.net / P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33629.