News of the Weird, July 6, 2008
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* China continues to prepare for the Olympics: Officials have
issued a standard chanting routine that all Chinese spectators
should employ during competitions (translated as "Olympics! Add
fuel!" with two claps and then both thumbs up, then "China! Add
fuel!" with two more claps and raised fists, according to a June
Reuters dispatch) ("Add fuel" is apparently a traditional
motivational chant in China.). Also preparing was Dr. Wei Sheng,
the Chinese man who holds the Guinness Book record of sticking
1,790 needles in his head at one time. In June he stuck himself
with 2,008 pins in the Olympic design and colors. [Reuters, 6-5-
08] [Daily Telegraph (London), 6-3-08]
Cultural Diversity
* Dozens of spas operate in Russia's Caucasus Mountains region,
exploiting the mineral springs in the area, and apparently colonic
treatment is a specialty. In fact, in June, the Mashuk-Akva Term
spa in Zheleznovodsk unveiled a large monument to the enema (an
800-lb. brass syringe bulb held aloft by three angels). "Let's beat
constipation," read one banner. Said the sculptor, "This device is
eternal; it will never change. We could promote this brand, turn it
into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."
[CNN-AP, 6-19-08]
* The reputation of the Japanese for being humble is falling to
Western norms among primary-school parents, according to a June
dispatch from Tokyo in The Times of London. "Across Japan,
teachers are reporting an astonishing change in the character of
parents" as they push for their children's "rights." In one school's
performance of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," there were
25 Snow Whites after "monster parents" bullied officials into
admitting that it was not fair to have just one kid in the title role.
[The Times (London), 6-7-08]
* His countrymen are too polite, wrote French doctor Frederic
Saldmann in his new book (translated as "Spring Cleaning") and
can improve their health by uninhibitedly embracing their bodily
functions that he said too many Frenchmen suppress. According to
a May dispatch from Paris in London's Daily Telegraph, Saldmann
wrote that the intestines, stomach, and esophagus benefit if gas is
expelled promptly and pores freely excrete toxins. In fact, he
wrote, doing away with antiperspirants also facilitates "a certain
number of messages that are potentially very attractive to the
opposite sex." [Daily Telegraph (London), 5-2-08]
* A 50-year-old woman, married for 30 years, asked for a divorce
last October (according to the Al-Arabiya news website in Dubai)
because her husband had peeked at her face under her veil as she
slept. The man apologized and said he would never do it again, but
she said the customs of her village (near the Saudi city of Khamis
Mushayt) dictate that he had contaminated the marriage by seeing
her face. [Al-Arabiya, 10-8-07]
Questionable Judgments
* A bus service that shuttles gamblers from Colorado Springs to
nearby mountain-town casinos has been awarded $382,000 in
Homeland Security anti-terrorism grants, according to a May report
by the Colorado Springs Gazette. Federal officials said the grants
were part of the Infrastructure Protection Activities program, with
the money used for "vehicle security," GPS systems, and training
drivers, which means, according to a bus company official,
teaching them "to be aware of their surroundings, of what's
unusual and the people on board." [Colorado Springs Gazette, 5-
23-08]
* Officials in Chongqing, China, abruptly shut down the lifestyle
magazine New Travel Weekly in May after it published a photo
spread of sexy women in lingerie posing in the rubble at one of the
country's recent earthquake sites. The editorial staff were fired,
and the company ordered into "rectification," which is apparently
the process of self-examination of what in the world the company
might have been thinking. [The Australian (Sydney), 5-23-08]
* You've Been Left Behind LLC has begun offering an e-mail
service to Christians who are preparing for the Rapture (in which
all "true" Christians ascend to Heaven to meet the Lord). Since the
Rapture may commence suddenly, those chosen may have to depart
without saying good-bye to their less worthy friends and besides
will leave their property behind during the ensuing seven years
before Armageddon. For $40 a year, Christians can maintain an e-
mail list of up to 62 people who would be notified and can store
encrypted electronic documents, such as PIN numbers and powers
of attorney. "There won't be any bodies," the website warns,
pointing out an advantage of its service, "so probate court [would]
take [all] seven years [just] to clear your assets to your next of
kin." [Wired.com, 6-3-08]
Fine Points of the Law
* (1) "Everyone knows what an ankle is," said an official of the
association of Texas medical doctors. Not so, said a lawyer
representing Texas podiatrists: "You don't have an ankle. The
foot actually includes the ankle." A state appeals court in March
sided with the medical doctors, but the podiatrists say it's not over
yet and that they may continue to treat ankles even though they are
only licensed to work on feet. (2) When the recent Midwest rains
hit Wisconsin, Lake Delton overflowed and completely drained
out, into the lower-lying Wisconsin River, and the owner of a Lake
Delton resort filed an insurance claim for "loss of income" since
guests, realizing there was no "lake," had canceled their plans. So
far, the resort's insurer has refused to pay because the whole thing
was started by uninsured "flooding," even though the only reason
for income loss is that Lake Delton is dry. [KSAT-TV (San
Antonio)-AP, 3-19-08] [Capital Times (Madison), 6-12-08]
People With Issues
* Since 2004 the Palmerton Area (Pa.) School Board has paid
$45,000 for the special education of Rebecca Maykish, 17, who has
an apparently devastating fear of "school," dating back to fourth
grade. The mere act of spending time in a classroom, her mother
says, causes her to cry nonstop for hours. The Board,
acknowledging her "generalized anxiety disorder," agreed to
accommodate her illness by specially funding things broadly
educational or therapeutic, and so far that includes not only tutors
and software but modeling classes and travel, to build her self-
esteem. The Morning Call of Allentown reported in May that, with
the Board's funds depleted, and Rebecca's continuing to drop out
shortly after each school year begins, the government has begun to
impose truancy fines on her mother. [Morning Call, 5-18-08]
Least Competent People
* Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Police quickly made an arrest in
Hughes, Ark. (pop. 1,800) in May after a Pepsi machine was stolen
from a liquor store; the distinct dolly tracks led from the store to
the man's home, and besides, he had left the machine in his front
yard. (2) The armed robber of a Fifth Third Bank in Orlando, Fla.,
is still at large, but based on the surveillance video, a sheriff's
detective said the man was "probably not familiar with handguns"
because he appeared to be pointing his at himself during the
robbery. [Arizona Republic-AP, 5-30-08] [WKMG-TV (Orlando),
6-2-08]
* Dentist Who Hates It When That Happens: Anne Greer filed a
lawsuit in June against Winter Park, Fla., dentist Wesley Meyers
over the death of her father last year during procedures to secure
his dentures with implants. During the October 2006 visit, Meyers
had accidentally dropped a screwdriver down the patient's throat,
which required a colonoscopy to remove. The man returned the
following year to give Meyers another chance (against his
daughter's wishes), and during that procedure, Meyers accidentally
dropped a torque wrench down his throat, creating problems that
ultimately proved fatal. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 6-22-08]
The Aristocrats!
* (1) Shauntel Mayo, 29, was convicted in Tyler, Tex., in May of
forcing four children (the youngest beginning at age 5) to perform
sex acts on stage for something called the Mineola Swingers Club.
Four other adults are scheduled for trial (including Patrick "Booger
Red" Kelly, 41), even though Mayo's jury deliberated only four
minutes before finding her guilty. (2) Todd Barkau, 35, and a 44-
year-old woman were indicted in May in Kansas City, Mo., on
charges of training the woman's daughter (beginning at age 12) to
become a dominatrix whose services were for sale on the Internet.
[Tyler Morning Telegraph, 5-8-08, 6-22-08] [MSNBC-AP, 5-12-
08]
Thanks This Week to David Weiss, Tom Barker, Bruce
Alter, and Kate Gladstone, and to the News of the Weird Board of
Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com (or
www.NewsoftheWeird.com / WeirdN...@Yahoo.com / P.O.
Box 18737, Tampa FL 33629).