Marrying the wrong person(s)
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rigsy03
May 31, 2009, 7:44:29 AM5/31/09
to "Minds Eye"
D and I dated in highschool and a year of college- very well matched
except for the Irish chip on his shoulder- he lived on the same avenue
as F.Scott Fitzgerald and was also insecure about the wealth of
Protestants and their cliques. Everyone thought we would marry but we
didn't- I broke it off. He would pop into my life at various
junctures. My mother adored him- in my reception line she whispered- I
wish it had been you. Nevermind.
Lucky me- after a 30 year marriage, he was divorced and so was I. If
you are thinking the Love Boat forget it- think Titanic.
except for the Irish chip on his shoulder- he lived on the same avenue
as F.Scott Fitzgerald and was also insecure about the wealth of
Protestants and their cliques. Everyone thought we would marry but we
didn't- I broke it off. He would pop into my life at various
junctures. My mother adored him- in my reception line she whispered- I
wish it had been you. Nevermind.
Lucky me- after a 30 year marriage, he was divorced and so was I. If
you are thinking the Love Boat forget it- think Titanic.
AmandaRheen
May 31, 2009, 7:52:58 AM5/31/09
to "Minds Eye"
Keep an eye out for that ice-burg then ;) I suspect there are not
many of us who get to revisit the significant junctures in our lives,
and have a chance to choose the other road. Good luck to you and your
Leonardo....
many of us who get to revisit the significant junctures in our lives,
and have a chance to choose the other road. Good luck to you and your
Leonardo....
rigsy03
May 31, 2009, 8:24:04 AM5/31/09
to "Minds Eye"
I broke off with him again. A couple of years later he died of swift
cancer. No need to go into details- his obituary was stunning.// One
way to get rid of females is to pretend you are "seeing" someone- it
scatters them like a herd. :-)
> > you are thinking the Love Boat forget it- think Titanic.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
cancer. No need to go into details- his obituary was stunning.// One
way to get rid of females is to pretend you are "seeing" someone- it
scatters them like a herd. :-)
>
> - Show quoted text -
Slip Disc
May 31, 2009, 9:27:20 AM5/31/09
to "Minds Eye"
Things that once were the 'could have been' are seldom the 'will be'
in the future. The changes within a person during all those years
with a person other than ourselves, no longer reflect what once had
been. Still many, reminiscent of fond memories and attach to the
memory that sadly no longer exists. Most often we wind up with what we
want and not what we really need and with blind delusion we build the
castle in the sand, sometimes the only benefit being the learning from
the experience. Hence the expression, if I only knew then what I know
now, but then again, if we could all cash in our 'chips' perhaps there
wouldn't be so much weight on our shoulders.
in the future. The changes within a person during all those years
with a person other than ourselves, no longer reflect what once had
been. Still many, reminiscent of fond memories and attach to the
memory that sadly no longer exists. Most often we wind up with what we
want and not what we really need and with blind delusion we build the
castle in the sand, sometimes the only benefit being the learning from
the experience. Hence the expression, if I only knew then what I know
now, but then again, if we could all cash in our 'chips' perhaps there
wouldn't be so much weight on our shoulders.
iam deheretic
May 31, 2009, 9:52:50 AM5/31/09
to Mind...@googlegroups.com
the only one of the ladies that I have known that I would even consider marrying is the one I am married to today. the past is past and should stay that way.
Allan
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I_D Allan
Allan
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I_D Allan
rigsy03
May 31, 2009, 10:09:03 AM5/31/09
to "Minds Eye"
My mother ran away from home after 10th grade and married two very
wealthy men. I suppose she wanted to protect me- I hope so. At any
rate, I have forgiven her and love her.
wealthy men. I suppose she wanted to protect me- I hope so. At any
rate, I have forgiven her and love her.
Slip Disc
May 31, 2009, 11:34:34 AM5/31/09
to "Minds Eye"
What do you feel you need to forgive her for?
l...@rdfmedia.com
Jun 3, 2009, 6:34:08 AM6/3/09
to "Minds Eye"
My life has been very differant. I met my future wife when I was 19
and she 16, two years later we where married, we now have two teenage
sons, and next year we celebrate our 20 years of married err bliss.
Yes I really am that lucky,
> > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -
and she 16, two years later we where married, we now have two teenage
sons, and next year we celebrate our 20 years of married err bliss.
Yes I really am that lucky,
rigsy03
Jun 3, 2009, 7:52:06 AM6/3/09
to "Minds Eye"
My mother was often street smart- and often not smart enough- and had
imperial tastes as well as saving string having come through the Great
Depression. She was at a loss with a formally educated daughter and
how to deal with older suitors that started showing up as well as the
intricate cruelty of social cliques. Her physical and psychological
health started to fall apart in her late-40's. She simply gave up on
her parental duties. She knew I no longer cared for my finance but was
heartless- once the Crane invitations were paid for that was to be my
fate. On the one hand maybe she felt that by marrying me to an
ordinary Catholic, I would avoid her battles and live a simple life
but on the other hand she had stolen my inheritance and may have
nursed a sub-conscious grudge against me for having an easier life
than she had had. She could be generous and she could be brutal.
Finally I was told to study a lovely portrait of my mother and me when
I was about 4 years old and I began to understand her and gain some
empathy and love. She did the best she was able to do.//My daughter
came home over Christmas and took back many of my things- jewelry,
evening bags, opera gloves, etc,- perhaps thinking I would never need
or use them again. I probably wouldn't- I already had used them. But
it was a stark reminder of the cutting points between generations. It
also occurs between fathers and sons.
> > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -
imperial tastes as well as saving string having come through the Great
Depression. She was at a loss with a formally educated daughter and
how to deal with older suitors that started showing up as well as the
intricate cruelty of social cliques. Her physical and psychological
health started to fall apart in her late-40's. She simply gave up on
her parental duties. She knew I no longer cared for my finance but was
heartless- once the Crane invitations were paid for that was to be my
fate. On the one hand maybe she felt that by marrying me to an
ordinary Catholic, I would avoid her battles and live a simple life
but on the other hand she had stolen my inheritance and may have
nursed a sub-conscious grudge against me for having an easier life
than she had had. She could be generous and she could be brutal.
Finally I was told to study a lovely portrait of my mother and me when
I was about 4 years old and I began to understand her and gain some
empathy and love. She did the best she was able to do.//My daughter
came home over Christmas and took back many of my things- jewelry,
evening bags, opera gloves, etc,- perhaps thinking I would never need
or use them again. I probably wouldn't- I already had used them. But
it was a stark reminder of the cutting points between generations. It
also occurs between fathers and sons.
l...@rdfmedia.com
Jun 3, 2009, 8:28:32 AM6/3/09
to "Minds Eye"
Heh whilst I get on extreamly well with my mother(perhaps because I
never grew up with her around?) I simply refuse to be drawn on mine
and my fathers somewhat complex relationship.
Although I too(now as an adult and father to-boot) realise what an
outstanding job he done bringing up the large brood he did, we are
still errrr carfull what we say around each other.
Looking to another thread it is clear, that we both have learned to
tolerate each others POV if not fully understanding it.
never grew up with her around?) I simply refuse to be drawn on mine
and my fathers somewhat complex relationship.
Although I too(now as an adult and father to-boot) realise what an
outstanding job he done bringing up the large brood he did, we are
still errrr carfull what we say around each other.
Looking to another thread it is clear, that we both have learned to
tolerate each others POV if not fully understanding it.
Lonlaz
Jun 3, 2009, 8:43:05 AM6/3/09
to "Minds Eye"
Hmm, chemistry is a mystery, long lasting relationships even more so.
Or maybe it's actually so simple it's easy to miss?
My romantic life is shocking, boring and serendipitous, I was 17 she
was 26. Now I'm 30, and happy. Not to say there weren't some rough
spots on the way.
Or maybe it's actually so simple it's easy to miss?
My romantic life is shocking, boring and serendipitous, I was 17 she
was 26. Now I'm 30, and happy. Not to say there weren't some rough
spots on the way.
rigsy03
Jun 3, 2009, 8:53:32 AM6/3/09
to "Minds Eye"
I am not the only young bride who wept on the eve of her wedding, it
turns out. Those stories spill out later in life.// My second marriage
was to an only child locked in a death battle with his father who
disinherited him. Coming through with four stable adult children is my
reward and though my daughter and I went through some tough times, we
really love one another and work through issues quite well. She has a
great marriage- one I could not dream of for myself- and is a
wonderful mother. She learned much from me and entered my field of
study. She juggles her life beautifully.//Anyway, a dapper gent winked
at me earlier this week at the supermarket and my doctor was a darling
plus the butcher was jovial, as well. Maybe that is enough male
attention for the week! lol
turns out. Those stories spill out later in life.// My second marriage
was to an only child locked in a death battle with his father who
disinherited him. Coming through with four stable adult children is my
reward and though my daughter and I went through some tough times, we
really love one another and work through issues quite well. She has a
great marriage- one I could not dream of for myself- and is a
wonderful mother. She learned much from me and entered my field of
study. She juggles her life beautifully.//Anyway, a dapper gent winked
at me earlier this week at the supermarket and my doctor was a darling
plus the butcher was jovial, as well. Maybe that is enough male
attention for the week! lol
rigsy03
Jun 3, 2009, 9:06:37 AM6/3/09
to "Minds Eye"
Yes- my life has been shocking at points. Mythic! lol I had a long
time friendship with someone 8 years younger and also a romance with
another. But I really prefer older men or men my age. I have learned
to look at them very differently as they age and find them quite
mellow and am content that we shared the same culture and do not need
to explain who we were and are.
time friendship with someone 8 years younger and also a romance with
another. But I really prefer older men or men my age. I have learned
to look at them very differently as they age and find them quite
mellow and am content that we shared the same culture and do not need
to explain who we were and are.
l...@rdfmedia.com
Jun 3, 2009, 9:19:47 AM6/3/09
to "Minds Eye"
Hahah yes you'll want to watch those butchers, they can be extreamly
cheeky!
cheeky!
rigsy03
Jun 3, 2009, 9:25:50 AM6/3/09
to "Minds Eye"
:-)
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