> > Two woodsmen are working calmly when one of them cuts down the leg of
> > the other with the axe.
> > The other man looks surprised and asks:
> > -Why have you done this? This is a joke or serious?
> > -Serious!
> > -That's OK. Because it's a little bit too brutal to be a joke.
> > On Jul 22, 10:17 am, Wadh wrote:
> > > George W. Bush and Tony Blair are at a White House dinner.
> > > One of the guests walks over to them and asks what they're
> > > discussing.
> > > "We are making up the plans for World War III", says Bush.
> > > "Wow", says the guest. "And what are the plans?"
> > > "We're gonna kill one billion Muslims and one dentist", answers Bush.
> > > The guest looks to be a bit confused.
> > > "One...dentist?" He says. "Why will you kill one dentist?"
> > > Blair pats Bush on the shoulder and says, "What did I tell you?
> > > Nobody is gonna ask about the Muslims." *- Hide quoted text -
> How many webmaster help posters does it take to change a light bulb?
> 1 to point out that the lightswitch should be returning a 404 http
> code while the bulb is dead
> 1 to say that he read in a forum somewhere that Google penalises dead
> light bulbs
> 1 to insist that the light bulb is working really, but there's a
> conspiracy by Google to keep us in the dark
> 1 to offer to link to the light bulb once it's working
> 1 to say "never mind light bulbs, why doesn't Google index strip
> 1 to say that he read on a newsgroup somewhere that Google prefers
> dead light bulbs
> 1 to point out that not being able to be lit is a breach of the the
> standards for light bulbs
> 1 to claim that Google doesn't care about lightbulb standards anyway
> 1 to say oh yes they do!
> 1 to say oh no they don't!
> 1 to wonder why the bulb's gone out when it has been working fine for
> 10 years
> 1 to rule them all, one ring to bind them (sorry, dozed off for a
> minute there)
> 1 to suggest you 301 the lightswitch to a bulb which works
> 1 to observe that the light bulb works better on Yahoo!
> 1 to ask how long you've been running the light bulb
> 1 to suggest submitting a request to the electric company to make the
> bulb work again
> 1 to insist that the bulb work work fine if those ******s at DMOZ
> would only list it
> 1 to ask whether anybody else was using the light bulb before
> 1 to wonder why the Google site in Outer Mongolia is still showing the
> bulb as lit
> 1 to suggest that if there's nothing interesting to look at when then
> bulb's switched on, there's no point in changing it
> 1 to demand that Matt Cutts drops everything and comes and changes the
> 1 to insist that Matt Cutts should be sacked for not having changed
> the bulb already
> 1 to point out that they've seen lots of crappier light bulbs which
> still work
> 1 to suggest buying "lit lightbulb" in adwords
> 1 to wonder why they can't verify the lightbulb
> 1 to demand Google add a tool to Webmaster Tools for changing
> 1 to link to the last time we discussed lightbulbs
> 1 TO SHOUT INCOHERENTLY
> 1 to point out that this is the wrong forum in which to discuss
> 1 to say that the bulb would work better if it had a site map
> 1 to say that the bulb would work better if it didn't have a site map
> 1 to ask "what's a site map?"
> 1 to say Google is penalising small businesses by not changing their
> lightbulbs for them
> 1 to point out that the <meta relight-after> tag doesn't work
> 1 to add that <meta name="keywords" value="lit"> doesn't work either
> 1 to suggest that your robots.txt is denying light to everyone
> 1 to wonder if the lightbulb would work better if you added a www. to
> 1 to threaten to sue Google if the light bulb doesn't start working
> NOW! (class action suit, anybody?)
> 1 to warn people to be wary of dodgy lightbulb optimisers
> 1 to say that lightbulbs are rubbish, what you really want is a candle