[News of the Weird Daily] 10/26/2007 09:49:00 AM
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Chuck
Oct 26, 2007, 10:15:38 AM10/26/07
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Civilization in Decline
A federal judge OK’d the possibility of a raid on the N’awlins district attorney’s office, for cars, furniture, and office equipment, if DA Eddie Jordan doesn’t come up soon with that $3.5m he owes the white ex-employees whom he fired on a whim to racially re-balance his workforce . . . . . An F State mom forced genital-piercing on her 13-yr-old daughter, the girl said, to make sex painful so she’d stop doing it (especially with mom’s boyfriend) . . . . . An AP Halloween telephone poll found that about 1/3 of Americans believe in ghosts and UFOs (which seems low to Yr Editor because we all know how dead people and aliens can program your brain to give answers that throw off the poll-takers).
The Human Condition Today
Included in that UFO group would have to be Dennis Kucinich, according to his good friend Shirley MacLaine’s latest book (Bonus: Kucinich’s other good friend Chris Griscom is the man who taught Shirley to communicate with trees) . . . . . Travelodges in the UK will be the first chain, apparently, to train staff to deal with the ever-growing problem of naked sleepwalkers . . . . . Names weren’t released, but two drivers smart-assing their way around a highway construction barrier in Mequon, Wis., got stuck in the wet concrete and had to be towed . . . . . The alcoholic had been sober for 16 months, but he went nuts when he saw the Jack Daniel’s Lynchburg Lemonade display at Wal-Mart and didn’t stop until he had killed seven bottles . . . . . What Goes Around, Comes Around: A mom in Scotland, constantly berating her adult son as a total loser, even chiding him when he screwed up a suicide try, was very efficiently smothered to death in her sleep by said failure.
Your Daily Loser
Motorist Steven J. King, 40, ran the table, according to police in Monticello, N.Y.: drunk, un-seat-belted, driving against traffic, with unrestrained toddler in the car, with an open container, without insurance, expired safety inspection, wrong license plates.
NOTW Lite
Russia announced 33 cockroach births, stemming from ribaldry aboard an unmanned space flight in September (the first-ever creature conceptions in space, er, that we know of) . . . . . Female Japanese train grope-ees now have a remedy (since shouting in public is out of the question for their demure souls): A cell-phone program can put messages on the screen that the women can flash at the pervs ("Groping is a crime" and "Shall we head to the police?").
Professor Music’s Weird Links
The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World (and, hey, pufferfish doesn’t even qualify) (like, pacha, from Iraq, which is basically boiled, undisguised sheep’s face, and casu marzu, from Italy, which is a sheep milk cheese that’s not authentic unless it’s moving around on your plate, i.e., maggots).
NOTW, The Blog
Now, remember, Yr Editor is hard at work on other business until at least mid-November and will not be publishing on Saturdays (and also, will be thinning out the Monday through Friday posts a little, as you may have noticed). Thank you for bearing with me.
Newsrangers: Scott Langill, Sam Gaines, Mark Neunder
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
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Posted By Chuck to News of the Weird Daily at 10/26/2007 09:49:00 AM
A federal judge OK’d the possibility of a raid on the N’awlins district attorney’s office, for cars, furniture, and office equipment, if DA Eddie Jordan doesn’t come up soon with that $3.5m he owes the white ex-employees whom he fired on a whim to racially re-balance his workforce . . . . . An F State mom forced genital-piercing on her 13-yr-old daughter, the girl said, to make sex painful so she’d stop doing it (especially with mom’s boyfriend) . . . . . An AP Halloween telephone poll found that about 1/3 of Americans believe in ghosts and UFOs (which seems low to Yr Editor because we all know how dead people and aliens can program your brain to give answers that throw off the poll-takers).
The Human Condition Today
Included in that UFO group would have to be Dennis Kucinich, according to his good friend Shirley MacLaine’s latest book (Bonus: Kucinich’s other good friend Chris Griscom is the man who taught Shirley to communicate with trees) . . . . . Travelodges in the UK will be the first chain, apparently, to train staff to deal with the ever-growing problem of naked sleepwalkers . . . . . Names weren’t released, but two drivers smart-assing their way around a highway construction barrier in Mequon, Wis., got stuck in the wet concrete and had to be towed . . . . . The alcoholic had been sober for 16 months, but he went nuts when he saw the Jack Daniel’s Lynchburg Lemonade display at Wal-Mart and didn’t stop until he had killed seven bottles . . . . . What Goes Around, Comes Around: A mom in Scotland, constantly berating her adult son as a total loser, even chiding him when he screwed up a suicide try, was very efficiently smothered to death in her sleep by said failure.
Your Daily Loser
Motorist Steven J. King, 40, ran the table, according to police in Monticello, N.Y.: drunk, un-seat-belted, driving against traffic, with unrestrained toddler in the car, with an open container, without insurance, expired safety inspection, wrong license plates.
NOTW Lite
Russia announced 33 cockroach births, stemming from ribaldry aboard an unmanned space flight in September (the first-ever creature conceptions in space, er, that we know of) . . . . . Female Japanese train grope-ees now have a remedy (since shouting in public is out of the question for their demure souls): A cell-phone program can put messages on the screen that the women can flash at the pervs ("Groping is a crime" and "Shall we head to the police?").
Professor Music’s Weird Links
The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World (and, hey, pufferfish doesn’t even qualify) (like, pacha, from Iraq, which is basically boiled, undisguised sheep’s face, and casu marzu, from Italy, which is a sheep milk cheese that’s not authentic unless it’s moving around on your plate, i.e., maggots).
NOTW, The Blog
Now, remember, Yr Editor is hard at work on other business until at least mid-November and will not be publishing on Saturdays (and also, will be thinning out the Monday through Friday posts a little, as you may have noticed). Thank you for bearing with me.
Newsrangers: Scott Langill, Sam Gaines, Mark Neunder
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
--
Posted By Chuck to News of the Weird Daily at 10/26/2007 09:49:00 AM
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