Atheist offers to send letters post-Rapture
Pastor Dale Morgan
Atheist offers to send letters post-Rapture*
By Katherine Boyle, Religion News Service
Neither snow, nor rain, nor fire and brimstone will keep Joshua Witter
from the swift completion of his appointed rounds come the end of the world.
Witter, a 24-year-old self-described atheist living in Orlando, is the
creator of the Post-Rapture Post, which bills itself as "the postal
service of the saved."
For as little as $4.99, Witter offers to deliver your letters to friends
and loved ones left behind after the Rapture, when some Christians
believe they will be whisked up to heaven while everyone else — the
"Left Behind" of the popular book series — suffers a series of tribulations.
As Witter sees it, it will fall to the unsaved to serve as the postmen
of the Apocalypse.
"Do you want to take the chance that your loved ones will have to suffer
through your ascension into Heaven without knowing how you really feel
in your heart?" the site asks. "Sign up for the Post-Rapture Post today
to guarantee that, while you are gone, you will remain in the thoughts
of those left behind."
"Holy crap, a plan B.," wrote one of the site's visitors, known only as
Fred B. from Oregon. "This is my kind of religion."
Others weren't so charitable. "I am shocked at your website," penned a
woman identified as Kim F. "It is not even remotely funny. ... All who
are a part of this, surely, God will judge to damnation."
As an atheist, one of the things Witter doesn't believe in is any sort
of damnation. Or the Rapture. Or God, for that matter. Even if there is
a Rapture, he said, it's best to prepare because Witter is pretty sure
he'll be one of the many left behind.
"The Bible says that only those that repent of their sins and accept
Jesus as the True Son of God will be saved," the site reads. "We do
neither. Some of our personal sins include: drunkenness, heresy,
sacrilege/blasphemy, gluttony, laciviousness, and sloth. There is no way
we are going to disappear into Heaven any time soon."
Witter guarantees that should the Rapture arrive, he would deliver all
letters entrusted to him.
He created the website in 2004 after graduating from Syracuse
University. "My friends think it's hilarious," he said. "We all like it."
But he also thinks it is logical.
"If you are a good person after the Rapture, (you'll ascend)," Witter
said. "If you have a son you want to behave so that he might also see
Jesus," you send him a letter.
Social bookmarking sites and the blogosphere have generated interest in
the Post-Rapture Post. Witter said he received about 2,000 e-mails after
fark.com posted a link to the site.
So far, just 11 people have purchased letters from Witter's site, all of
whom chose the least expensive, Class I message for $4.99.
Letters that are delivered on fancy resume paper are available for
$9.99, but medieval-style parchment costs $799.99.
"I wish someone would order the expensive one," Witter said.
The merchandise on the site is more popular.
Witter said he has sold about 300 T-shirts, Rapture survival guides and
coffee mugs. He is not sure how much money he's made, but says it's
enough to at least break even.
It also has earned him a few nasty letters.
"I get about 80% hate mail," Witter acknowledged. The other 20% fall
roughly into two categories: people who appreciate the satire, and
fellow atheists — offering their services as postal workers after the
Rapture.