Church joke

[LLPENS@aol.com]

A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the Secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this Church." The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary  does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million  bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church   to get rid of some of this damn money." "I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

 

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[vaidyaguru]

We believe in God, Rest in Cash

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[rappoccio]

Haha that was a great joke ;)

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[Chris]

Hi there, the above joke just to let you know that the Church, and
especially the Catholic church is the richest church in the world.
Just is now NOT a joke. Not the few hundred million that they claim,
on thier bookds but trillions of dollars!

Wht you did not know about Jesus:

QUOTE:
Just to destroy another lie, forever, I will point out that Jesus the
Nazarite was not a poor man. There is absolutely no Biblical evidence
to support this LIE. The MISquote they use to support this lie is that
there was "no room at the inn." It says that there was no ROOM at the
inn, not that they had no money to stay there.

Joseph was a carpenter and in those days, everything that was made was
made by the local carpenter. Therefore he would never be without work
or short of money.

At the nativity, the three kings came to pay homage to the "King of
kings." They brought gifts to show their respect and they brought the
three most expensive things on Earth at that time:- gold, frankincense
and myrrh.

They came to pay homage and show respect and so did not bring a little
bit, for fear of offending or insulting the "King of kings." They
brought a lot of gold, frankincense and myrrh - the three most
expensive things on Earth.

Also, Joseph of Arimathea, the rich man who put the crucified body
into his own tomb, was Jesus the Nazarite's great-uncle and disciple
and was one of the three richest men in Israel.

You have just been given three very good reasons why Jesus the
Nazarite was NEVER poor. He was not rich either, but always had
enough.

The lie that Jesus was poor was started by the rich people who formed
the parliament and they got the churches to pass on the lie, in order
to keep the people poor and quiet, and stop them rebelling.

By saying that Jesus was poor and that the people, by being poor, were
following in his footsteps, they have kept the people down and poor
for centuries (Revelation / Apocalypse 18:9). They have also made
themselves and the churches richer and richer.

The church of England is the biggest and richest land-owner in Britain
and yet there are hundreds of thousands of poor who have no houses,
some of whom live in cardboard boxes. The Vatican is the richest
business on Earth and sits on 7 hills - read Revelations 17:9.

Stay away from ALL political parties and religions and talk ONLY to
God in private, in your head, not in a church, as you were TOLD to do
in Matthew 6:1-8* N.B. verses 5 and 6 - by Christ - HIMSELF.
(Synagogue means church).
END QUOTE

Full the full text see http://jahtruth.net/prison.htm

You will find out who is ruining the world, our politicians, in
collaboration with the churches, and with the Illuminati. Amen

Peace to all,

Chris

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>
> - Show quoted text -

[LiamToo]

On Aug 3, 6:16 am, Chris <grech.christop...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi there, the above joke just to let you know that the Church, and
> especially the Catholic church is the richest church in the world.
> Just is now NOT a joke. Not the few hundred million that they claim,
> on thier bookds but trillions of dollars!

Very true. The Catholic Church is the largest and richest religion in
the world. Where did the money come from? I'm sure you know that tt's
not from God, but from rich parishoners. Nobody twisted their arms
neither to give their money to the Church.

[Turner Hayes]

Hahahah, nice

[Turner Hayes]

What the hell are you babbling about, you cactus-fucking crackpot?

 

[Dev]

God bless donors to the Catholic church--helping pay for the kiddie
rape insurance.

http://www.insurancenewsnet.com/article.asp?n=1&neID=20070723375.4_a92a00ae96aa6805

"Various insurance companies are paying for $227 million of the total
settlement. Why? Because each of the Catholic Churches involved have
policies offered by their insurance companies that specifically cover
sexual abuse."

[Delusional?]

So do we agree that conspiracy nuts do NOT have a sense of humour?

Is Paris the capital of France?

> Full the full text seehttp://jahtruth.net/prison.htm

>
> You will find out who is ruining the world, our politicians, in
> collaboration with the churches, and with the Illuminati. Amen
>
> Peace to all,
>
> Chris
>
> On Aug 3, 6:32 am, rappoccio <rappoc...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Haha that was a great joke ;)
>
> > On Aug 2, 11:24 pm, LLP...@aol.com wrote:
>
> > > A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the
> > > Secretary, "I would like to join this damn church."
>
> > > The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have
> > > misunderstood you. What did you say?"
>
> > > "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"
>
> > > "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this
> > > Church."
>
> > > The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform
> > > him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have
> > > to listen to that foul language.
>
> > > They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir,
> > > what seems to be the problem here?"
>
> > > "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks
> > > in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of
> > > some of this damn money."
>
> > > "I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
>

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[Simpleton]

On Aug 3, 4:16 am, Chris <grech.christop...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi there, the above joke just to let you know that the Church, and
> especially the Catholic church is the richest church in the world.
> Just is now NOT a joke. Not the few hundred million that they claim,
> on thier bookds but trillions of dollars!
>

Well they are now short some $660 million, having to pay off hundreds
of victims of pedophile priests who were systematically protected.

[Delusional?]

Sending it to some of my pastor friends :-)

On Aug 2, 11:24 pm, LLP...@aol.com wrote:

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[LL]

LL: I'm sure they'll love it.

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[bonfly]

Chris Grech is a cactus-fucking crackpot? Is that legal?

On Aug 4, 12:59 am, "Turner Hayes" <lordlacol...@gmail.com> wrote:

> > Full the full text seehttp://jahtruth.net/prison.htm

> > AOL athttp://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour-Hide quoted text -

[Turner Hayes]

On 8/3/07, bonfly <anu...@aapt.net.au> wrote:

Chris Grech is a cactus-fucking crackpot?  Is that legal?

*Chris* is illegal.

 

[Dev]

Chris Grech is illegal?

"I swear, Chris Hansen, I only fucked his arguments!"

On Aug 4, 2:23 pm, "Turner Hayes" <lordlacol...@gmail.com> wrote:

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>
> > > > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

[Turner Hayes]

On 8/4/07, Dev <thede...@fastmail.fm> wrote:

Chris Grech is illegal?

"I swear, Chris Hansen, I only fucked his arguments!"

Do you know how mature his arguments are? They're the arguments of a 6-year old. That's statutory debate.
 

[ranjit_mathews@yahoo.com]

On Aug 3, 12:36 pm, Delusional? <dtatu...@gmail.com> wrote:

> Sending it to some of my pastor friends :-)

They might like this one:
Dominicans and Franciscans were arguing over which of them was closer
to Jesus. They agreed to a Jesuit's offer to help settle their
argument. The Jesuit returned the next day with the reply to a letter
where he posed the question to Jesus. Jesus' reply read: "Dominicans
and Franciscans are equal to me." (Signed) Jesus Christ, SJ.